


Don't Die - Levi x OC {Book 1}

by docoo



Series: Don't Die [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Comfort/Angst, Complete, Death, Declarations Of Love, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Teen Romance, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 59
Words: 239,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28700958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/docoo/pseuds/docoo
Summary: After suffering loss and pain in her past, Aubrey finds peace within the ranks of the Scouting Regiment. However, when the mysterious Levi Ackerman joins her squad, along with his curious companions, Aubrey develops feelings that she has never experienced before.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Original Female Character(s), Levi Ackerman/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Don't Die [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103843
Comments: 646
Kudos: 527





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Just wanted to give fair warning that this fanfic is going to be LONG. Also, I have a real issue with getting about 20,000 words into a fic and then quitting because I lose motivation or I move on to a new obsession. So PLEASE, leave a comment and a vote so that I know people are actually reading and enjoying this story and that I’m not just sitting here alone. Anyway, I would like to let you know that it is written in THIRD PERSON. Usually, I’m a first person kinda gal, but there were just too many viewpoints to cover with this story. And quick question, do you all like x Reader or OC fics more, or does it make a difference at all? Just wondering for the future.  
> Also, I would like to note that I have changed a few things from the original Attack On Titan universe. Nothing major, just a few side notes. This story basically follows the plot of A Choice With No Regrets, but there will be a few deviations. And the story won’t end there. After the end of A Choice With No Regrets, there will be a large time skip ahead to when Levi enters the actual story of Attack On Titan. I would also like to say that I know Hajime Isayama had stated that Levi is 34 years old when AOT takes place, but for this story’s purposes I’m going to keep Levi at about 29. Plus, I have changed the story so that Erwin is already the Commander of the Scout Regiment when ACWNR takes place, rather than a captain.  
> This story takes a few chapters to heat up, so please stick with it. I promise that the writing gets better, too…  
> LAST THING. I’ve decided that Levi will not be so abnormally short in this fic. I’m sorry to anyone that enjoys that aspect of his character, but to be honest I just can’t picture a character of his intensity being so small… It kinda weirds me out. So, Levi will be standing an average 5’9” or 5’10” in this story. Nothing excessive.  
> Thanks so much for reading and please reach out to me with your comments or questions! I enjoy them immensely :))

"Oi, Aubrey! Wake up!"

Aubrey groaned as she rolled over, covering her head with her pillow and shoving her face even further into her sheets.

"Aubrey, come on! Of all the days to be late this is not the one!"

Aubrey felt the blankets ripped off her body, leaving her shivering in her shorts and tank top.

"Tika!" Aubrey squealed her roommate's name.

Aubrey's dark-haired friend giggled a bit as Aubrey stood up swiftly.

"Oh come on, you'll thank me later. The Hawk would totally whoop your ass if you were late to the Choosing Ceremony."

Aubrey glanced at the clock and realized that she was running nearly 30 minutes behind schedule.

"Eep! I'm late!"

Tika let out a laugh.

"That's what I just said, sleepyhead."

The Hawk really was going to whoop her.

The Hawk was the nickname that the cadets had given the Training Commander. He was always watching with those beady eyes. It was creepy.

But that didn't matter anymore. Today, everything would change. Today was the Choosing Ceremony. And today, the trainees would choose their future.

Aubrey pulled on her uniform in just a few minutes and then found her way over to the bathroom. Just one glance and she groaned loudly. Her light blonde strands were a mess, sticking out in different directions and clumping together.

She hastily ran her brush through her light blonde locks and let them hang loose. Most days she would pull her hair back for training, but that didn't matter today.

Aubrey splashed her face with a bit of cold water and dried off with a towel.

Taking one last look in the mirror, she slapped her cheeks and let out a nervous breath.

"Aubrey! Hurry up! we're really going to be late!"

"Coming!" Aubrey dragged her eyes away from her reflection and sped out of the bathroom, throwing on her uniform jacket as she ran out the door.

Tika followed closely behind, trying to keep pace with Aubrey's quick strides. Aubrey may have been short, but that never stopped her from being faster. Or stronger. Or better at just about everything.

It was the general consensus in the Cadet Corps that Aubrey was not to be messed with. She was easily the strongest and most deadly of the group and it was smart to avoid angering her. Though Aubrey never seemed to get angry. She was always upbeat and bubbly, helping others whenever the opportunity presented itself. Her dark side only seemed to be revealed when she was questioned about her past.

_______________________________

One time, a boy named Hans had pressured Aubrey to reveal her history after their first hand-to-hand combat training day. Aubrey had taken down every opponent that had dared to face her in just a matter of seconds. Her fellow cadets had been astounded at her strength and efficiency. How could someone so small be so ferocious?

Hans had approached her in the mess hall at dinner. A wide grin had been spread across Aubrey's face as she ate, conversing easily and happily with everyone at her table.

"Oh, hi Hans." Tika had spotted him slinking towards the table out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, erm..." Hans cleared his throat. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure!" Aubrey piped up from across the table and patted the empty seat next to her.

Hans gave her a small smile that borderlined on a smirk and made his way around the table to take the spot next to Aubrey.

"Say, Aubrey, nice job in training today. I didn't know you were so skilled in hand-to-hand combat." Hans dropped his tray onto the table.

"Thanks!" Aubrey flashed him a blinding smile as she turned her attention back to her potatoes. But Hans wasn't done yet.

"Who taught you?" He probed.

Aubrey's face immediately scrunched into a frown, a small crease forming between her brows.

"What do you mean? The Training Commander taught me, just the same as the rest of you." Aubrey's voice was cold and detached, her eyes looking anywhere but her classmates' expressions. 

Hans scoffed. "You and I both know that's not true. No one fights like that on day one."

Aubrey kept her eyes on the table, her body unmoving.

"Oh, come on! Why won't you tell?"

Aubrey's green eyes seemed to have turned to steel and her grip on her fork was so tight that her knuckles had turned white.

Everyone at the table stared in silence. They had never seen Aubrey upset, much less furious. The waves of anger radiating from her body were enough to put everyone on the edge of their seat.

"Ya know, when I think about it, none of us know anything about your past. Hell, I don't even know where your hometown is." Hans could see the response that his words were eliciting from Aubrey and decided he would push his luck a bit further. He, like everyone else, had never seen Aubrey mad and it seemed as if her perfect façade might finally crack.

"Got daddy issues or something?"

Before anyone could process what was happening, Aubrey had stood from her seat and pinned Hans against the wall, her steak knife pressed to his throat. The entire room held its breath.

"If you must know," Aubrey's words were ice as she spat them in Hans' face, "My hometown is located in the northern part of Wall Maria."

Aubrey pressed the knife more tightly to Hans' neck, causing a small trail of blood to trickle down onto his collar.

Aubrey leaned closer and whispered into his ear. "Ask me about my past again and I won't be so merciful."

Aubrey released Hans and his body slumped to the ground as his knees gave out beneath him.

The room remained silent as Aubrey dropped the bloodied knife to the floor, stepping over it and walking swiftly from the mess hall.

______________________

Ever since that day, no cadet had dared to ask Aubrey about her past or even hint at the subject. As a result, Aubrey's attitude had remained bubbly and lighthearted, but ever since then, her fellow cadets had felt a sort of uneasiness around her. It wasn't normal for someone to have such polar personalities.

"Oh man, I can't believe I'm late today of all days!"

Tika giggled again. "It's your fault! You really are a sleepyhead."

"Oh, shush! I am not! I've only been late a few times!" Aubrey anxiously smoothed her hair as she stormed through the hallways.

"A few times? More like a few times a week."

Aubrey shot her roommate a glare and picked up her pace, causing Tika to shut her mouth and focus on keeping up.

Finally, the two rounded a corner and raced for the exit of the dorm building. The ceremony was being held in the courtyard just out front, so at least they didn't have to run across the grounds.

Aubrey slammed the door open with a loud bang and froze as countless pairs of eyes landed on her. She was late. Definitely late. And now everybody knew.

Aubrey spotted the Hawk at the center of the stage, likely in the middle of some kind of speech. The look he gave her was deadly and Aubrey instantly averted her gaze. It was a good thing she was transferring today or he really would've whooped her ass.

"Erm, sorry... please continue." Aubrey looked at the ground and quickly walked to take her place with the other cadets, Tika giggling under her breath at her side.

Aubrey gave her roommate a small slap on the arm as they parted ways to take their proper places; everyone was lined up in alphabetical order.

Aubrey found her spot behind a blond boy that she didn't really know. There were so many cadets this year, it was impossible to know everyone.

"Ahem, well now that Ms. Daremo (Just keep this as your last name for now. I promise it has a purpose) and Ms. Bran have found their places, we will continue." Aubrey felt a slight blush rise to her cheeks and sneaked a glance to see that Tika was having a similar reaction.

Aubrey brought her gaze back to the front as the Training Commander continued. He started to spew something about how all of them had grown during the last few years and how he was proud of them all. Aubrey could have sworn she saw a few eye rolls. Everyone knew that The Hawk was just glad to be rid of them.

Finally, his speech came to an end and he moved on to the next part of the ceremony.

"You will now be hearing a speech from each of the Commanders of the three regiments. You will have the choice of either entering into the Garrison Regiment, where you will protect and fortify the walls, The Scout Regiment, where you will have the opportunity to further humanity by venturing beyond, or the Military Police, where you will dutifully serve the King and keep order within our cities. Only those who have placed in the top ten will have the option of entering the Military Police." The Hawk gave the cadets a bored look and continued. "I will now give the stage to the Commander of the Garrison Regiment, General Pyxis."

A middle-aged man stepped to the center of the stage and gave the crowd of cadets a once over before starting his speech.

His words were rather moving and Aubrey was impressed. He spoke of how important the walls were and how the Garrison Regiment had been the protectors of civilization for over 100 years. His speech was short but compelling and Aubrey could tell that many of her classmates had been affirmed or swayed by his story.

Next was the Commander of the Military Police, whose speech was so short and unappealing that Aubrey had to resist the urge to laugh. She figured that the speech was short on purpose, nothing really needed to be said. Nearly everyone wanted to join the Military Police. It was the safest and most privileged regiment and most years, all of the top 10 cadets would join. There was no need to convince anyone.

Finally, the Scout Commander made his way to center stage. He was a tall man with blonde hair and blue eyes. Aubrey giggled a bit at the sight of his eyebrows. They looked like they could fly away at any moment.

"My name is Erwin Smith." The Commander's voice boomed across the courtyard and demanded the attention of all who could hear it. Several soldiers lifted their gaze from the ground to stare at the man.

"I am the Commander of the Survey Corps and should you choose this regiment, your life will be in my hands." Aubrey scrunched her face. Where was he going with this?

"I would like to tell you that each and every one of my soldiers' lives matters a great deal to me." Several cadets returned their gazes to the ground, bored. It seemed the Commander was going to try to assure them of their safety should they join the Scout Regiment. Everyone knew that survival rates were hideously low on expeditions outside the walls.

"However, sacrifices must be made." Everyone's eyes snapped back up to the Commander. Aubrey's face scrunched even more. Was he crazy? This was no way to get people to join.

"After all, sacrifice is what pushes us forward. That is what the Survey Corps is all about, moving forward. We sacrifice our own for the forward movement of humanity."

Several cadets looked horrified, even disgusted. Some just looked confused.

"Should you choose to join the Scout Regiment, know that I will not hesitate to sacrifice your life for the good of humanity." Gasps were heard from the crowd. Even the other Commanders looked shocked. Erwin stared straight ahead and continued his speech.

"But that is what being a soldier is about. You train to protect and serve what little humanity has left. Three years you have spent in the Trainee Corps. Three years of your life have been spent to get you to this very moment. The moment when you become a true soldier. The only thing left is the question of what kind of soldier you will be. Will you be a soldier who serves the King in comfort? Will you be a soldier who sits on the walls, always watching, but never truly seeing? Or will you be a soldier that pushes forward? Will you leave this cage? This prison of walls? Will you ever see what lies beyond? These are all questions that you have to answer for yourself. I cannot tell you what kind of soldier you are. Only you know that. Thank you." Erwin swiftly turned and walked back to his seat.

Aubrey stared ahead emotionlessly. He was using a smart tactic. A combination of motivation and guilt, and it was working. Many cadets were staring at their feet, their expressions conflicted or confused.

"Ahem, I will now announce the top ten Cadets." The Training Commander brought everyone out of their daze.

"I will remind you all that only these 10 cadets have the ability to join the Military Police."

Aubrey's heart rate spiked. This whole ceremony had been fascinating.

"In tenth place, Tika Bran."

Aubrey's face lit up in a smile. Tika had made the top 10! She would be safe. She would be able to join the Military Police and she would never face a titan in her life. She would have a long, peaceful existence.

Tika glanced back at Aubrey and she shot her an encouraging smile. Aubrey watched as Tika made her way to the front of the crowd, saluting when she reached her final position.

Aubrey smiled looking at her roommate. The girl was more like a sister to her than a friend. They'd been randomly roomed together at the start of training and had grown inseparably close since then. Aubrey would be sad to see her go, but she knew it was for the best. Tika's life was far more important than their midnight chats.

"In ninth, Hans Eash." Aubrey scowled as the brunette made his way to the front, saluting next to Tika. He was one of the only people Aubrey had ever met that she truly did not like. He always seemed to be out to hurt people. Apparently, he got a kick out of it or something.

"In eighth. Ben Illad." A boy from across the courtyard took his place beside Hans.

The ceremony continued. A few of Aubrey's friends were called and she sent each of them blinding smiles and thumbs ups.

Finally, the ceremony was coming to an end.

"In second, Jack Hunde." Jack was a friend of Aubrey's and she nearly jumped up and down out of joy for him. He had worked so hard to earn that spot.

"And in first, Aubrey Daremo." Aubrey grinned brightly. She couldn't say she wasn't expecting it, but she had tried not to get her hopes up. There were plenty of amazing soldiers here and you never knew how the Training Commander would decide.

Aubrey practically skipped to the front of the courtyard. She patted Jack on the shoulder and mouthed, 'great job' to him as she came up next to him. Jack only gave her a small smile and shook his head.

Aubrey gave her best salute, a dazzling smile plastered on her face. Everyone was staring at her, but she didn't mind, she was used to it. Her enthusiasm tended to draw eyes to her.

Erwin's eyes settled on the girl. She couldn't have been taller than 5'2" and yet the Commander knew what she was capable of. He had watched her during the cadet's final testing session. Her use of the 3DMG was greater than any he had ever seen before. She had moved so fluidly, so easily through the trees that it seemed almost as if she had been using the gear since birth; it was practically an extension of her body. Her titan killing abilities had been far above and beyond any of her classmates. Her scores tripled those of the second place cadet.

Erwin wanted her the second he saw her scores. He needed to recruit her to the Scout Regiment. She would be an invaluable resource for his plans and for humanity. He needed her, needed her to join the Survey Corps. She could bring them strength and success and that's what Erwin needed. The government was starting to get on him about the high death and low success rates.

The Training Commander stepped back to the center of the stage.

"You will now be given an hour of free time to make your final decision. Do as you please but meet back here on the hour."

"Sir!" The entire cadet corps saluted their training commander and then dispersed throughout the courtyards. Some lingered, while others ran to their rooms to deliberate in peace. Aubrey instantly went to Tika, grabbing her hands and jumping up and down.

"Tika, you did it! You did it! You made the top ten!"

Tika started to laugh and joined Aubrey in her jumping dance.

"I know! I can't believe it!" Her smile was so wide that it looked like it probably hurt.

"Oh man, Tika! Now you can do anything you want! I'm so happy for you! I'm so proud of you!" Aubrey had pulled her friend into a crushing embrace.

"Aubrey... air..." Tika was gasping under Aubrey's surprising strength.

"Oh, oh! Sorry! I'm so sorry!" Aubrey instantly pulled her arms away from Tika's body and stepped back.

"It's... fine..." Tika managed to huff out her words while catching her breath.

Aubrey cringed a bit, but quickly remembered her purpose.

"Oh, but Tika! The top ten! Now you can join the military police! Your parents will be so proud!" Aubrey was back to jumping up and down.

Tika's glance shifted nervously to the ground.

"Y-yeah." Tika bit her lip.

Aubrey didn't seem to notice her best-friend's hesitance and continued her assault of congratulations for another five minutes before Tika placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Aubrey, thank you so much for congratulating me, but don't you think that you should be celebrating yourself? I mean, you're number one! That's amazing!"

Aubrey stopped her frenzy and clasped her hands together.

"Yeah, well, it's great and all, but I'm so much more excited about you and everyone else!"

Aubrey's face was lit up with a smile. Tika could only stare at her, dumbfounded. Did the girl not have a selfish bone in her body?

"Oh, and Jack! We have to go congratulate Jack! He worked so hard!" Before her roommate could respond, Aubrey had grabbed Tika's arm and started pulling her through the crowd of cadets.

"Oi, Jack! Jack!" Aubrey yelled across the courtyard. Many people turned to look at her, but she just kept running as Jack turned away from his small group to face her.

"Aubrey!" Jack raised his hand in the air, responding to her calls.

Finally, the two girls reached him and Aubrey practically jumped on him, enveloping him in a bear hug.

She seemed to have jumped with a bit too much force, though, because they ended up in a heap on the ground.

"Jeez, Aubrey, you don't know your own strength." Jack sat up, massaging his back where it had hit the ground.

Aubrey rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Yeah... sorry."

Suddenly, Aubrey remembered why she had come over in the first place.

"Jack! You made the top two! Congratulations!" Aubrey sprang back over to Jack, wrapping him in a slightly gentler hug.

Jack let out a soft chuckle. "Thanks. Congratulations to you, too, on getting first. Not that we all didn't see it coming." Jack gave her a soft smile and stood, offering her his hand. Aubrey took it without hesitation.

"Come on, you never know what the Hawk is thinking. You could easily have beat me!"

Aubrey only received several bored stares from her classmates.

"Right." Jack decided to just go along with her. Aubrey's selfless nature was indomitable. "Either way, congratulations on first place, Aubrey."

Aubrey wrapped him in yet another hug, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Thanks, Jack." He smiled back at her.

"Hey, I'm going to head over the mess hall. All of this worrying and contemplation has got me hungry. Anybody wanna come?" A member of Jack's small group had spoken up and there were several murmurs of approval as most of the group moved towards the dining hall.

"I think that I'm going to grab something. You coming, Aubrey?" Jack started moving to follow the group.

"Oh, yeah! Let's go, Aubrey!" Tika grabbed her hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

"You guys go on ahead. I'm going to stay out here and think for a bit."

Aubrey received strange looks from her pair of friends. Practically everyone knew which regiment Aubrey was planning to join. Was she having second thoughts?

"Okay... We'll be back in a bit. Don't think too hard, alright?" Jack squeezed her shoulder and gave her a stern gaze. Aubrey nodded her head in agreement.

Jack and Tika shared a last puzzled glance and then ran to catch up with the group.

Aubrey swiftly found a spot along the edge of the courtyard where she leaned against the red brick wall and closed her eyes. The breeze was light and the air was crisp. It was a perfect spring day inside the walls. But what about outside? What was it like outside of this prison?

"Ahem."

Aubrey opened her eyes to see the Commander of the Scout Regiment, Erwin Smith, standing over her. She quickly scrambled away from the wall and performed a somewhat clumsy salute.

"Sir!"

Erwin's blue eyes twinkled with amusement. "At ease, cadet."

Aubrey awkwardly lowered her hands. Why was the Commander standing next to her?

The two were silent for a moment. Aubrey averted her gaze to the ground while Erwin only observed her. It was still hard for him to believe that this little girl could be so lethal.

"Ms. Daremo, correct?" Erwin extended his hand.

Aubrey was puzzled. "Yes, Sir." She cautiously reached out to accept his offer.

Erwin gave her a rather dazzling smile as they shook.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Daremo."

Aubrey took a step back.

"The pleasure is all mine, Commander."

Erwin flashed her another bright grin.

"Well, I suppose I'll just get right down to business."

Aubrey's face scrunched in confusion. Business?

"I'm here to try and recruit you to the Scout Regiment."

Aubrey's eyes widened at his words. He was here to recruit her?

Aubrey had to work hard to keep a straight face as he continued. If only he knew...

"Your scores are absolutely exceptional. The best I've ever seen. I believe it's safe to say that you are the most lethal soldier to have ever lived inside the walls. I think that talent should be put to good use. Join the Scout Regiment. Help us to move humanity forward." Erwin's eyes sparkled with hope and anticipation. If he could get her to agree, his plans would move exponentially faster.

Aubrey couldn't hold back any more. She let out a pealing laugh.

"Commander, I'm honored that you would try to recruit me, but please, save your breath." Aubrey managed to get her words out between chuckles.

Erwin's wild eyebrows knit together. Was that a definite no?

"You don't need to convince me, Commander. I'm already planning on joining the Scout Regiment."

It was Erwin's turn to be shocked. His eyes widened as he met Aubrey's gaze. The two stared at each other for a few long moments before Erwin finally regained his composure. The corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk and Aubrey returned the gesture.

"I'm very glad to hear that, Ms. Daremo."

Aubrey's smirk turned to her usual smile, flashing her white teeth.

"I look forward to working with you." Erwin extended his hand once again and Aubrey confidently reached out and shook it.

"And I, you, Commander."


	2. Chapter 2

Erwin gave her a tilt of his head before swiftly turning on his heel and heading back towards the stage. He smiled to himself. He was one step closer to achieving his goals. And he hadn't even had to work for it.

Aubrey stood still, watching him go. That had been interesting. A grin stayed stuck to her face as she finally walked away from her wall and toward the mess hall.

___________________________

The hour was finally up and the last part of the Choosing Ceremony was about to begin. The cadets stood in their assigned rows as before but now the top ten stood at the front, their salutes strong and proud. Aubrey was the only one smiling, somehow finding the situation more exciting than nerve-wracking.

"Alright cadets. The hour is up. I hope you have all made your final decisions. You will now be choosing your actual regiments. Once again, I would like to remind you that only the top ten can join the Military Police." The Hawk looked bored as he ran through the words that he had already said what seemed like a million times.

"Let's begin." The Training Commander took a step to the side as the Commander of the Garrison Regiment came forward.

"Those of you who wish to join the Garrison Regiment, please come to the front."

Every single soldier, minus the top ten, stepped to the front of the courtyard.

Aubrey's eyes widened. Not a single one of them was going to join the Scouts? Aubrey's eyes found Erwin's face. To her surprise, he was already looking at her. And smiling. Aubrey's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Was he not upset about the lack of recruits joining the Survey Corps? At this rate, it would just be her...

"Thank you for your choice." The Commander of the Garrison Regiment spoke up. "If all of you would please follow me. We will be immediately transferring to Garrison Headquarters."

Everyone had already packed their things. They had been told to load a horse with their belongings before the Choosing Ceremony. Aubrey frowned as she remembered packing her white mare with her few items. She didn't have much. Just a few spare sets of uniforms and a special looking rock that Tika had found and given her for her birthday one year. She liked that rock. It was lucky.

Aubrey broke her salute to wave goodbye to the majority of her friends. She received a few sad smiles and a few small waves and then they were gone. Aubrey stood for a moment. It was unlikely that she would ever see any of them again. An out of character frown came to Aubrey's lips as she turned back to the front and reinstated her salute.

"Okay, next." The Hawk was still standing lazily in the center of the stage. "The Military Police."

The Military Police Commander stood from his chair and shuffled forward. He looked as if he might fall asleep at any second.

"If you wish to join the Military Police, please step forward."

Aubrey frowned a bit. She would have to let go of everyone now. Both Jack and Tika were joining the MPs and she would have to live without them. She would do it. They deserved a life of peace and comfort. There was no way she could ask them to follow her to the Scouts and there was no way she could follow them to the Military Police.

But the shift of air on her right never came. Jack never stepped forward. Aubrey snapped her head up to see him standing strong, his salute tight against his chest and his skin stretched white across his knuckles. His expression was one of anguish and near despair as he held his position. His lip was trembling.

Aubrey stared at his face in horror. Go! Move! Step forward!

Aubrey couldn't believe what was happening. If he didn't go now, he would be forced to join the Scouting Regiment and most soldiers who joined the Scouting Regiment... died.

A small whimper escaped Aubrey's lips as she looked past Jack's face. There stood Tika. The same anguished expression on her face and the same strained salute tight against her chest.

No! Those two were supposed to join the MPs and move to the interior. They would be safe there, happy there! That was how this was supposed to go. Aubrey was supposed to do this alone. There wasn't another way.

"Thank you for joining the Military Police. Follow me." The Military Police Commander didn't even bother to fully inspect his new recruits, he just turned and walked off the stage in his signature lazy manner.

The other seven cadets shuffled away to follow the Military Police Commander to the stable.

Aubrey wanted to scream. She wanted to run to her two friends and shake them until they came to their senses.

But she couldn't. Her body was frozen, rooted to the ground in horror. No matter how hard she tried to get her legs to move, they wouldn't. She was stuck in her own personal hell, watching from the outside as her two best friends practically threw their lives away.

"Very well." The Training Commander cleared his throat. "That leaves the rest of you to join the Scout Regiment."

Erwin stood from his chair once again and made his way forward.

"Thank you for choosing to fight for humanity. I am honored to welcome you to the Survey Corps."

"Sir!" Both Tika and Jack saluted Erwin once again, their expressions still pained.

Aubrey dropped her eyes to the ground. It was over. She had been helpless to stop them from joining and now her friends would die because of her failure.

Unless... unless she could protect them.

It would be hard, but she could do it. She was fairly sure that killing Titans wouldn't be a problem for her. All she had to do was stay close to her friends and keep them out of trouble. That's all she had to do. It was possible. It would be a lifetime of responsibility and worry, but Aubrey would take it on. She would die for her friends if need be. They were all she had, the closest thing to real family that she had ever known.

Aubrey raised her gaze to meet Erwin's. The smile was gone from his face and he was now watching her intently. Aubrey steeled herself. She would do this. She had to do this. Slowly, her arms raised into a salute and she stared straight ahead, straight into the eyes of the Commander as silent tears ran down her cheeks.

_______________________

The three cadets followed Erwin to the stables where their horses were already packed and ready to go. No one said a word as they mounted and headed out at a slow trot.

Aubrey continued to steal desperate glances at Jack and Tika, but both of them only stared straight ahead, their eyes glossy and far away.

Erwin rode a few meters ahead, lost in thought. Aubrey had been crying. For her friends no doubt. The girl was highly intelligent and she knew what would likely become of her companions now that they had joined the Scouts. But Erwin had seen fire in those eyes. A soldier with something to protect was far more powerful than one that stood alone. Erwin smiled to himself. This was going even better than he had ever imagined.

After a long and silent ride, the group finally reached Scout Headquarters. Soldiers in their green capes bustled around, going about their daily tasks and chores. Many of them stopped to cheer and holler at the new recruits.

"Hey, rookies!"

"Fresh meat!"

"Only three?"

Aubrey wanted to smile at them or at least wave, but her mind was still focused on her friends. Their expressions had now changed to stone. Both of them looked ahead with steely eyes and tight lips. Aubrey frowned at the sight. She was used to seeing them bubbly and full of life, now they were blocks of granite.

Finally, the four of them reached the Scout stables where they tied their horses and grabbed their belongings.

"I'll show the three of you to the barracks. There are separate buildings for men and women, so once we're there, one of the captains will show you your beds."

Erwin quickly turned and started walking across the campus. The three cadets followed him at a brisk pace, struggling to keep up.

As they crossed the grounds, Aubrey noticed the amount of soldiers. There weren't very many. Enough to keep the regiment running and healthy, but there was definitely not a surplus. Something knotted in her stomach.

After what seemed like an eternity, Erwin stopped in front of a row of buildings. The barracks. Aubrey examined the rows of identical buildings. All of them were long and single storied, made of an orangey-brown wood. The Headquarters were set up rather standardly. The main building was what looked to be a former castle, its stone old and gray, while the stables and barracks appeared newer and more up to date.

Erwin approached the door of one of the buildings and knocked. A few moments later, a girl just a couple years older than Aubrey answered, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Upon seeing her Commander, the girl snapped to attention and saluted.

"S-Sir!" Her eyes shifted nervously between the Commander and the cadets, no doubt worried that she was in trouble.

"At ease, Tanya."

The girl hesitantly lowered her arms.

"What can I do for you, sir?"

Erwin gave her a delicate smile. "Could you please fetch Captain Saru for me? We have new recruits that need to be shown their beds."

It was almost funny how instantly the girl relaxed. "Oh, y-yes, sir."

Tanya disappeared for another few short moments and quickly returned with a woman who looked to be aged no more than 30 and had dark hair pulled into a bumpy ponytail. Her blue eyes squinted, as she looked the new recruits up and down.

Aubrey noticed Tika shifting uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Erwin?" The Captain's voice sounded irritated with a hint of curiosity.

"Ah, yes, Saru. These are the new recruits. Could you please show these two ladies to their rooms?"

Saru sighed. "Yeah, sure." The curiosity was gone and only irritation remained.

Silently, Saru turned on her heel, motioning over her shoulder that the girls should follow her. Aubrey stepped into the building without hesitation, sparing only a moment so give a still stony Jack a reassuring glance.

Saru led the two girls through the hallways of the barracks. Several other soldiers bustled through the hallways, stepping to the side as the Captain walked past.

Aubrey's brows furrowed as they continued to walk. They'd been going for a while now. Just how big were these barracks?

Finally, the Captain came to an abrupt stop, turning quickly to face the two recruits.

"This is your room. The two of you will share. There's two beds in there and the showers and bathrooms are just down that hall and on the left." The Captain gestured to her right. "You shouldn't ever get lost trying to find your room, just come in the front door and walk straight back." Her voice was bored and disinterested.

"Dinner is at six every night. That gives you a few hours before you have to head to the mess hall. Just follow the crowd. It's Sunday so there was no training today and everyone is just hanging around like idiots." Saru shot a disgusted look at the straggling soldiers.

"Breakfast starts at seven in the mess hall and training starts at nine. We have an expedition coming up soon, so instead of getting Saturdays and Sundays off, it's just Sundays."

Aubrey froze. An expedition? So soon? Would the recruits be asked to join? They had so little time to prepare! Surely, the rookies would be spared.

"Train hard because expedition 37 is coming up soon. Don't think that we'll cut you any slack just because you're newbies."

Aubrey's heart dropped to the floor. This was too much. The Captain had just confirmed her fears as if she could read her thoughts. Tika gulped beside her.

"That's it for orientation. Here's your room." The woman swung open the door and it cracked against the wall with a loud thunk. Aubrey did her best to put aside her worries for the moment and focus on the task in front of her.

Inside there were two beds pushed to opposite sides of the room, their bedding the simple and standard white sheets. There were two dressers and two desks, both made of the same dark, stained wood.

Aubrey and Tika walked in. The space definitely hadn't been used in a while. There was a layer of dust settled on every surface and a few dust bunnies in the corners. The floorboards creaked under foot and it smelled damp and musky.

The only good things about it were the window at the back, showing a gorgeous view of the castle and forest as well as the modest back door that led directly to the outside.

"Alright, well that's all I'm required to tell you. If you have any questions, ask one of these junkies." The Captain gestured to the soldiers milling about in the hallways.

"See you at dinner." With that, she left, slamming the door shut behind her.

Tika and Aubrey stood in silence for a few moments, neither of them knowing exactly what to do.

"We should at least shake out the sheets. They're too dusty to sleep on." Tika finally spoke for the first time since the Choosing Ceremony.

Aubrey, too lost and bewildered to say anything else, nodded in agreement and moved over to what would be Tika's side of the room to help.

Silently, the two pulled the bedding from the thin mattress and started shaking it out, beating it with their hands to get any more ingrained dust out.

Aubrey felt like she was going mad. She needed answers now. Why had Tika done this? Surely, she had known the risks and the sacrifices she would have to make. The silence was killing her and her hands began to shake as the two of them placed a sheet back onto the bed.

"There. Now we'll do yours." Tika placed her freshly shaken pillow back on her mattress and moved across the room to the second bed.

Aubrey stayed still, rooted to the spot.

"Why?"

Tika froze, her hands extending for the first sheet.

Aubrey waited a moment, but no answer came.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to join?"

Tika seemed to remember herself and slowly turned around to face Aubrey. She was biting her lip, a habit she had picked up from Aubrey and something she only did when she was nervous.

"Please don't be angry."

Aubrey was a bit taken aback. Angry? She didn't feel angry. Did she seem angry?

"Tika, I'm not angry. I'm just scared, confused, worried!" Her voice dropped a bit. "Just please, tell me why."

Tika stared at the ground and contemplated for a moment, then nodded in agreement. Aubrey let out a sigh of relief. Finally, she would get some answers.

Tika sat down on Aubrey's dusty bed, patting the space next to her. Aubrey followed her silent order and took the seat next to her, small billows of dust making their way into the air as she hit the sheets.

Tika looked down at her hands, her expression full of sadness and confusion.

"You're really not mad?"

Aubrey stared hard into the side of Tika's head.

"No, I'm not mad, Tika! I'm not mad, I'm just... devastated!"

At her last words, Tika raised her eyes to meet Aubrey's.

"Why, Tika? Why did you do this?"

Tika's eyes fell back to her lap, her hands wringing together. Finally, she took a deep breath.

"I joined because of you."

Aubrey felt as if she'd been hit by a horse. Joined because of her? It was her fault that her friends would die?

"What?" Aubrey's question was barely audible.

"I joined the Scout Regiment to follow you. You... you're like my sister, Aubrey. My parents are gone, I have no siblings, I'm all alone. And so are you. All we have is each other, and I guess I couldn't let you go."

Aubrey could feel tears forming in her eyes.

"But, Tika! You must know... you must know what you've done, what joining the Scout Regiment means!"

"Of course I know!" Tika snapped.

Aubrey was stunned into silence. She had never heard Tika snap before.

Slowly, Tika's green eyes raised to meet hers.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so upset."

Aubrey was still at a loss for words.

Suddenly, Tika reached into Aubrey's lap, grasping her hands tightly.

"Please, Aubrey, just listen to me! We've been together so long now, grown so close, that I'd never be able to forgive myself if I had taken the easy way out and joined the Military Police! I couldn't just be a coward and choose myself over anyone else. And you've always talked so highly of the Scout Regiment! When you spoke about going beyond the walls, all I could think about was how I wanted to be there to see those things with you! Even if it costs me my life, even if I die in vain, at least I will die knowing that I made the right choice, that I did what my heart so desperately wanted..." Tika trailed off at the end of her speech.

Aubrey couldn't process what she had just been told. All she had were more questions.

"And Jack? Did you know about him?"

Tika bowed her head in shame.

"Yes."

Aubrey closed her eyes as a single tear trailed down her cheek. Tika continued without prompting.

"I think it's best if you let him explain it himself, but he told me that you inspired him to see what's out there, to see what lies beyond these prison walls."

More tears made their way down Aubrey's face.

"So, I'm the reason you're here. I'm the reason you've put your lives in danger. I'm the reason you will have to face the terror of those monsters."

Tika began to panic, squeezing Aubrey's hands even tighter.

"No, Aubrey! We came to this decision on our own! You've done nothing wrong! You are the most selfless, kind, beautiful person I have ever known, and your influence has done nothing but help me grow into who I am now! The same goes for Jack! We love you, Aubrey! All we want to do is stand beside you..."

Tika searched Aubrey's face for any sign of acknowledgement, but she only stared straight ahead, a blank look on her face.

"Promise me one thing." Aubrey's voice was soft, but stern.

Tika desperately clutched at her friend's hand.

"Anything." She whispered.

"Let me protect you." Aubrey's green eyes turned to meet Tika's. "I want you to do whatever I say and I want you to value your own life above all else. I don't care if it goes against the mission or the Commander or whatever, I need you to live. Stay alive, Tika."

Tika dropped her gaze. Could she promise this? She knew that Aubrey would go to any lengths to protect what she loved. If she agreed, her usefulness as a soldier could drastically decrease. But there was no choice. She had gone behind her friend's back and caused her a great deal of obvious pain, and for forgiveness, all Aubrey wanted was a single promise, to let her protect them.

Tika squeezed her friend's hands once more.

"I can't speak for Jack, but I promise. I will do my best to stay alive. I will follow your rules. I'll do it all."

Aubrey let out a small breath of relief. Slowly, she leaned across and placed a kiss on her friend's hair.

"Thank you, Tika."

The two of them sat for a long while, simply taking in everything that had just occurred. Both of their lives were forever changed and both of them had made a promise that was detrimental for them both to keep. Tika to stay alive, and Aubrey to make sure that happened.


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, we'd better finish cleaning this room or we won't be done in time for dinner!"

Aubrey's smile was back and she bounded off the bed, bringing Tika with her.

Tika stared at her in shock. Aubrey's ability to be positive in any situation was absolutely astounding.

"R-right." Tika managed to mumble the word under her breath.

The two girls finished beating the sheets and dusting the surfaces with about 30 minutes to spare.

"Ugh, cleaning is such a pain." Aubrey flopped back onto her bed, covering her eyes with her arm.

Tika chuckled. "Yeah, well, you never do much of it anyway, so stop complaining. You're a total pig, Aubrey."

Aubrey sat up in a flash. "Am not!"

"Are to!" Tika sat down on her own bed across the room. "You leave your clothes in piles on the floor, you never make your bed, and sometimes you even leave food lying around!"

Aubrey's cheeks flushed bright red. "Shut up! There's a method to my clothing piles! One is dirty and one is clean!"

Tika let out an exasperated sigh. "Well, why can't you just put them in the laundry basket or in the dresser like everyone else?"

Aubrey laid back down on her bed, her cheeks growing hotter by the second. "It's just too much work."

Tika raised an eyebrow. "Right."

Tika swiftly made her way over to Aubrey's bed and flopped down next to her.

"We should probably head over to the mess hall now. Dinner starts soon and we don't want to lose the so-called 'crowd'."

Aubrey sighed and sat back up. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Tika smirked and poked Aubrey's cheek. "Wow, you're not just a pig, you're lazy, too."

Aubrey's cheeks flushed once again as she batted Tika's hand away.

"W-Whatever. Let's just go." Aubrey scrambled off the bed and quickly made her way to the door, Tika running after her.

The two girls followed the stream of other soldiers leaving the barracks into the winding hallways of the castle and into the large dining hall. The room was filled with rows of huge, wooden picnic tables and at the back were benches spread with large pots of steaming food. Several people were already sitting, enjoying their steaming trays of food.

Aubrey drooled a bit as she automatically started toward the food, dragging Tika behind her.

"Oh, it smells so good!" Aubrey waddled over to the benches in her food daze as Tika gave her an exasperated look. She always had loved food.

Aubrey snatched a tray and started filling it with meat, vegetables, and anything else she could find. Tika chuckled at her enthusiasm, but followed suit.

Suddenly, Tika felt a firm grip on her shoulder. A little too firm. Slowly, she turned to see a large man dressed in a Scout uniform, obviously another soldier, with a scruffy face and smirk looking down at her.

"What exactly do you think you're doing, Missy? Rookies eat last." Tika dropped the serving spoon she was holding back into the pot of mashed potatoes.

"I-I'm sorry. I-I didn't know." Tika managed to stammer out her words. The man was intimidating and his grip was growing tighter. Tika flinched.

Abruptly, the crushing force on Tika's shoulder was gone.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step away from my friend, Sir." Aubrey held the man's forearm in one of her hands, her grip tight enough to cause the man to squirm.

"Why, you little brat! It's not my fault you broke the rules!" The man was still struggling under Aubrey's hand.

Aubrey narrowed her eyes.

"With all due respect, Sir, it's a stupid rule, and one that I'm sure was never officially stated. So please, let us finish our meals in peace. We're not hurting anyone."

Aubrey loosened her grip a bit and the man's arm shot away. At this point, every soldier in the mess hall had stopped to watch the fiasco and was waiting anxiously. Tika backed away, knowing what was probably coming.

"You stupid kid! Someone needs to teach you a lesson in respect!"

The scruffy man threw a punch at Aubrey's cheek. His advance was quickly stopped as Aubrey's hand came to effortlessly block the man's fist.

"You really shouldn't have said that." Aubrey twisted the man's arm until he was forced to turn around. Placing one hand on his back, Aubrey swept the man's legs out from under him, causing him to do a backflip and end up in a heap on the floor.

"Let's go, Tika." Aubrey picked up her tray from before and walked past the pile of a man, looking for an empty table to sit at.

The room remained silent except for the clicking of Aubrey's footsteps on the stone floor. Tika scrambled after her, sending nervous looks around the hall.

The scruffy soldier finally found his way off the ground and looked like her was about to go for another round before another Scout stepped in, pulling him away and out of the room.

Aubrey finally found a table to her liking and slid her tray onto its wooden surface, the sound echoing through the space. Tika hesitantly sat beside her.

"Tika, are you hurt?" Aubrey's voice was monotone.

"Huh?" Tika gave her a confused and worried look. She had only seen Aubrey like this a few times and she didn't like it, it scared her. She became an entirely different person, cold and calculating.

"Your shoulder. That man was gripping you too hard. I saw you wince." Aubrey's eyes stared directly into Tika's, unblinking and unfeeling.

"M-My shoulder? My shoulder is fine. But Aubrey, please snap out of it, you're scaring me." Tika's lowered voice could still be heard by the entire crowd.

Something seemed to switch in Aubrey, just as it always did when she had her episodes. Her green eyes blinked several times and a mixed expression of surprise, pain, and confusion took over her features.

"O-Oh." Aubrey struggled to say anything as the life came back to her face.

Aubrey looked around to see the whole room staring at her. Tika had obviously noticed as well, as she was peering around the room restlessly.

Suddenly, Aubrey stood from her seat, countless pairs of eyes following her movements. She steadily walked around to the front of the table, bowing before the crowd.

"Please forgive me for my inappropriate behavior. I am sorry to have disrupted your mealtime. Please continue." Aubrey remained in a deep bow.

The silence in the room was almost palpable as every person remained where they were, stunned. Aubrey did not move a muscle, staying so still she almost didn't seem human.

The crowd waited hungrily for her next movement, but it never came. Aubrey remained in her bowed position, hands on her knees, light blonde hair hanging in loose tendrils toward the ground.

Seconds passed, and eventually minutes and soon enough people lost interest, turning their attention back to their meals and their own conversations and issues. Aubrey waited until the last pair of eyes had averted their gaze to raise herself up and return to Tika's side.

Tika's expression was still horrified, the skin of her face crinkled and folded into a frown.

Aubrey slowly took her seat, letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I lost control and I'm sorry that I scared you." Aubrey bit her lip. "It's just that, that man, he looked like he was hurting you, and he was so ignorant, and it made me so mad, and-" Aubrey was cut off by Tika's hand on hers.

"It's okay, really." Tika gave her a soft smile before her frown returned. "It's just, well, you're back now, right?" Her tone was full of worry and concern for her friend.

Aubrey gave her her signature blinding smile. "Yep."

The worry melted from Tika's features and a smile came to her own lips. "Good."

"Jeez, I leave you alone for a few hours and you've already got the whole regiment riled up." A deep voice came from behind them.

"Jack!" Aubrey jumped from her seat and wrapped Jack in a forceful hug. Luckily, he was ready this time and managed to remain standing.

"Hello to you, too." Jack chuckled a bit, but there was an undercurrent of worry in his laugh.

"Come sit with us!" Aubrey grabbed his already filled tray and dragged him to the table, pushing him into the seat next to her.

As soon as he was seated, Aubrey turned to her plate, inhaling her food. Both Tika and Jack laughed at the sight.

"Slow down or you'll choke!" Tika giggled as she started on her own food.

The three of them ate happily, discussing their new rooms and what they thought training would be like in the morning. Aubrey continued to inhale her food until it was wiped clean.

"Ah, that was good." Aubrey leaned back in her seat, patting her stomach happily.

"Yeah, looks like joining the Scouts was the right choice." Jack instantly noticed his mistake as the air tensed around him.

"Um, I'll just go put these trays away." Tika quickly gathered the empty plates and walked off.

Aubrey remained silent, giving Jack the opportunity to speak first. He struggled for a few moments, then let his words out in a rush. "Look, Aubrey, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I knew you would try to convince me otherwise and I knew that this was what I wanted to do. I know you thought that I was going to join the MPs, but every time I heard you talk about what was beyond the walls, it just made me want to see it, too. Please forgive me, Aubrey. Please don't be mad..." Jack trailed off as he bowed his head in shame.

"There's nothing to forgive."

Jack's head snapped up at Aubrey's words.

"It's okay, really." Aubrey gave him a soft smile.

"You're not upset?" Jack was genuinely confused. He had expected her to be furious, or at least cry a little.

Aubrey frowned. "Well I can't say that I'm not upset, but not with you, only myself."

Jack's heart dropped to the floor. "Aubrey-"

Aubrey placed a hand to his lips, effectively silencing his rebuttal.

"Listen, Jack. I just need you to promise me one thing. Promise me this and I can live with this situation. I can live with myself."

Jack went silent, waiting for Aubrey to finish.

"Let me protect you." Aubrey's words were strong and powerful.

"Aubrey-" Aubrey placed her hand on Jack's lips once again.

"Let me finish, Jack." Aubrey gave him a stern look. "I'm not saying that you aren't a powerful soldier, you are. But we don't know what's out there. You know the Scout survival rates on expeditions, they're terrifyingly low. All of those casualties were strong soldiers, too, many of them with far more experience outside the walls than either of us. So please, Jack, just do what I say. Follow my orders. I don't care what the Captain or even the Commander says, do what I say and I will keep you alive."

Aubrey hesitantly removed her hand from Jack's mouth, allowing him to speak.

Jack sighed. "I assume you've already asked Tika the same thing?"

Aubrey nodded. "Yes, she agreed. Even if it was after a fair amount of convincing."

Jack stared down at his lap. "Then I guess I have no choice but to agree also."

Aubrey's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? Just like that?"

Jack gave her a weak smile. "Just like that."

Aubrey's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "No objections, modifications?"

Jack chuckled. "Nope. To be honest, Aubrey, it's kind of a hard deal to turn down. All I have to do is let you protect me? I get to stay alive, be your friend, and see outside of the walls."

Aubrey smiled sadly and looked away, staring at some unseen object.

"You two are all I have. I can't lose you."

Jack closed his eyes, shame and anguish filling his mind. His choice to join the Scouts had caused his friend so much pain.

"I'm so sorry, Aubrey."

Aubrey reached out and grabbed Jack's hand. "Let's go find Tika and head back to the barracks. We should get some rest. We've had a long day."

Together, the two of them stood, walking out of the mess hall and turning in for their first night as members of the Scout Regiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! I hope you're all enjoying the story so far. I actually have about 40,000 words of this story already written so chapters will be going up fairly frequently over the next few days after I do some light editing. Eventually, though, I'll run out of previously-prepared content and updates will come a bit slower. However, I'll try to keep them to every other day. Also, if you're continuing to read this story, please leave a comment! Nothing makes me happier than knowing that other people are reading this stuff that just pops out of my mind.
> 
> P.S. – Sorry for the lack of Levi in these first few chapters but it's really important to me that I develop the main character thoroughly before I move into the romance area. Please be patient. I promise Levi will arrive soon!


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Aubrey and Tika met up with Jack to walk to the mess hall. As per usual, Aubrey finished her food in a matter of seconds while Jack and Tika laughed at her eagerness.

The group was just finishing up when Captain Saru entered the mess hall, looking as bored as ever.

"Training starts in fifteen. Scram." The Captain turned and left.

The three cadets shared a glance and rose from their seats, following the crowd to the edge of the forest next to headquarters.

The entire Scout Regiment was gathered, most chatting amongst themselves while some stood alone, looking disinterested.

After a few minutes of waiting, Commander Erwin appeared, heading to the front of the crowd.

"Today's training will revolve around 3DMG. Please suit up and get into your squads." Erwin's voice boomed over the crowd and as soon as he had finished, the soldiers scattered, grabbing their 3DMG from the assembled piles and strapping them on.

Aubrey looked around, hoping for some direction. As rookies, neither her nor Tika or Jack had assigned gear and they most definitely didn't have an assigned squad.

As if on cue, Aubrey felt a finger tap her shoulder. She turned to see Erwin towering over her, smiling.

"I assume you and your friends here will be needing some gear?"

Aubrey nodded. "And a squad assignment, Sir."

Erwin turned on his heel. "Very well, follow me."

Aubrey grabbed Tika's hand who in turn grabbed Jack's and the three of them travelled in a train behind the Commander.

Erwin came to an abrupt stop at the front of the field. "I had these brought down for you. These sets are yours alone to use for as long as you remain in the Scout Regiment, so learn them inside and out."

"Thank you, Sir." All three cadets spoke in unison. Their eyes sparkled as they began strapping on their new gear.

Erwin smiled his most blinding smile. "As for a squad assignment... Flagon!" Erwin waved his hand in the air, calling over a man with a scraggly goatee and floppy blond hair.

Flagon jogged over, looking somewhat irritated and impatient. What was it with every Scout looking so irked?

"Yes, Commander?" Flagon stopped before Erwin, looking expectantly at him.

"I'm placing these new recruits in your squad. This is a permanent assignment."

Flagon's jaw dropped to the ground. "Commander, you can't be serious."

"I'm afraid I am, Flagon. Please show them the ropes of training and how we do things here, though I doubt that they'll have any trouble figuring it out." Erwin winked at the three cadets causing Tika to blush and Jack to smirk. Aubrey just stood, listening to the rest of the conversation.

"Come on Erwin, you always stick me with the newbies and they never last!"

Aubrey's hand clenched into fists. She could guess what Flagon meant by 'they never last'.

"Well I'm sure these three will be different. All of them were ranked within the top ten of their class." Erwin's voice was calm and patient as he let Flagon vent.

"Whatever. Class rank doesn't mean shit outside the walls." Flagon's voice was still irritated, but he seemed to accept his fate, as he turned and started walking toward his previous position.

Erwin tilted his head, signaling to the cadets that they should follow. Aubrey gave him a nod of acknowledgement before jogging after Flagon, Tika and Jack on her heels.

Flagon stomped ahead muttering curses under his breath as he made his way over to another small group of soldiers, all of them standing with curious expressions on their faces.

Flagon stopped as he reached the group, letting out a sigh as the three cadets came up behind him.

"Alright, guys. The Commander had assigned the rookies to this squad so we'll just have to deal with them."

The current squad seemed to consist of five soldiers, two women and three men. All of them looked to be significantly older than the cadets, the youngest of them appearing to be about nineteen on twenty.

Flagon turned to the three rookies and gave them a glare that could kill. "Go on and introduce yourselves already."

Aubrey ignored his negative attitude and bounced forward, giving the group a strong salute.

"My name is Aubrey Daremo. It's a pleasure to be on your squad and I look forward to working with you!" Aubrey gave her signature smile and received blank stares from her audience.

"I'm Jack Hunde. It's a pleasure to meet you." Jack gave a salute and stepped back.

"I-I'm Tika Bran. I hope to get to know you all better." Tika's face was flushed as she stepped back to take the place behind Aubrey.

The air was silent for a moment until the youngest of the group, a rather handsome boy with curly brown hair and brown eyes bounded forward, a grin plastered to his face.

"Nice ta meet'cha! I'm Noah!" Noah jumped forward and grabbed Tika's hand, shaking it firmly. Aubrey couldn't help but notice the blush that rose to her cheeks; She was practically a tomato.

"N-Nice to meet you, too." Tika stammered a response.

Noah smiled even wider, if that was possible, and pulled Tika by the hand, leading her toward the rest of the group.

"This is Steven. He's a bit of an old man, but you'll warm up to him soon enough." Noah winked at Tika and her cheeks flared again.

Aubrey and Jack shared a small shake of their head at Tika's flushed face before following Noah to meet the rest of the group.

"Jeez, I'm not that old, Noah." Steven rolled his green eyes but smiled at the three cadets, his blond hair falling across his face. "It's nice to meet you all. And by the way, I'm only twenty-four." The man extended his hand to Tika first and she hesitantly shook it, looking like she was about to melt from all of the attention. Usually Aubrey handled the leading interactions.

Steven had only just finished shaking Aubrey and Jack's hand before Noah pulled them away to the next member.

"And this is Glen. He's kind of a downer, but I know there's a glimmer of happiness in there somewhere." Noah playfully punched Glen's arm, but he only grunted and looked away, seemingly disinterested and annoyed at the new addition to Squad Flagon.

Noah adopted an awkward smile and moved on.

"Right, well, this is Mary."

Noah led them over to a tall and lanky girl with long blonde hair and striking blue eyes. She gave a shy smile.

"Hi." Her voice was small and underwhelming.

Aubrey, sensing her hesitancy, walked over and gave her a hug. Everyone stared in shock.

Aubrey pulled away. "I'm sure we'll be great friends."

Mary blinked a few times before nodding in acknowledgement.

Noah still hadn't released Tika's hand as he pulled the group over to meet the final member of their new squad.

"And last, but not least, this is Kate." A girl with short, dark hair and green eyes stood before them. Everything about her seemed cold and calculating, her posture stiff and her stare scrutinizing.

"I don't think she really needs too much of an introduction."

Noah was right. It was obvious what Kate's personality was just from looking at her.

Jack and Tika, intimidated, stayed back, waiting for Kate to make the first move or make none at all. But Aubrey didn't wait around. She walked right up to Kate and held out her hand.

"Aubrey."

Kate stared at her extended hand, glaring at it like it was a knife pointed at her heart. She made no moves to return Aubrey's gesture but moved her eyes up to meet the cadet's. She must've seen something there because her mouth opened in shock and her hand twitched at her side before finally raising to meet Aubrey's.

Everything was silent as their hands clapped together and shook twice before falling away.

Noah was the first to speak. "Nice." He placed a hand on Aubrey's shoulder and gave her a wink. Apparently, getting Kate to shake your hand was an impressive feat.

Noah didn't dabble, but turned to Flagon.

"And Captain Flagon, our true and holy leader." Noah went into a mock bow.

Flagon scoffed and turned his head, but Aubrey could swear that she saw a smile at the corners of his lips.

"Whatever. It's time for training so let's get going." The Captain turned on his heel and walked in the direction of the forest where more groups were gathering.

After looking more closely, Aubrey could see the large titan dummies hidden within the trees, identical to the ones they had used in the Training Corps.

"Aright, now that everyone has geared up and gotten into their squads, we are ready to begin." Erwin was once again at the front of the crowd, his voice commanding the attention of every soldier. "Today will be a standard 3DMG training exercise. We will also be focusing on team building within your squads. And just to spice it up a bit, we'll be having a little competition. The squad with the most 'kills' wins." Erwin smiled and raised an eyebrow at the crowd. "And just to be sure that nobody cheats, we have a watcher stationed every few dummies. Every time a dummy is 'killed', it will be marked with the fatal soldier's squad color. At the end of the exercise, the team with the most marked dummies will be named the winner. Any questions?" Not a sound came from the crowd. "Very well then. We'll be starting in five minutes. I suggest you use this time to come up with a strategy for your team." Erwin walked off, leaving the squads to discuss their strategies.

"Sweet! A competition! The Commander hardly ever does stuff like this!" Noah was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"I wonder if there's a reason?" Aubrey turned to see Jack mumbling under his breath.

"Hm? What do you mean?" Aubrey didn't see a reason for a competition other than the obvious. "Isn't it just to rile us up?"

Jack's brows furrowed. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Hey, stop sitting on your asses and get over here. We need to make a plan." Flagon waved them over to the small huddle the squad had formed.

Aubrey and Jack trotted over. Tika was already there, seemingly still in the clutches of Noah.

"Alright, since we're stuck with the rookies, we'll have to stick together. Otherwise they'd end up getting lost and I'd have to go find 'em and that would totally ruin my night. Plus, we're up against Saru's elite squadron, so this competition is practically fixed." Flagon's face was scrunched up in disgust. "Just play it safe and treat it like a team exercise. Stick within seeing distance of each other and go in for the kill when you see a Titan. Very simple. Got it rookies?"

Aubrey's eyes narrowed. They were severely underestimating their new cadets. Jack caught her eyes and shook his head. Don't question the boss on the first day, Aubrey. Aubrey just rolled her eyes at him and spoke up.

"Captain?" Flagon looked a bit surprised at her voice, he had obviously just expected them to keep their heads down and agree.

"What is it?" His voice was annoyed.

"I think that we are all capable of going through the forest on our own. We've done this many times in the Training Corps and if we stick together, we will no doubt get fewer kills than we are capable of." Aubrey looked around, gauging the reactions of her teammates. Most of them seemed a bit shocked, but she thought she saw a small smile on Kate's lips.

"Are you suggesting we split up, rookie?" Flagon was obviously even more irritated than before.

"Yes, Sir." Aubrey nodded her head.

Flagon grunted. "Whatever. But don't expect me to come get you when you get stuck out there."

Aubrey smiled. "Of course, Sir."

Flagon turned his back and walked off, heading towards what seemed to be the starting position at the very brink of the trees.

Aubrey looked at her two friends for approval. Jack smiled and shook his head in an 'I can't believe you just did that' sort of way while Tika looked nervous, but gave her an encouraging thumbs up. Aubrey let out a sigh of relief. She was afraid they would be angry for forcing them to take on so much responsibility, especially during their first ever training session.

Aubrey wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders as they followed Flagon to the starting line. "Just think of it as a way for you to prove your mad skills." Both of them let out a small chuckle.

"Thirty seconds to start!" Erwin stood at the edge of the forest, waiting to start the training session.

"I hope you know what you're doing, cadet." Flagon's voice broke through the murmurs of the crowd.

"I'll do my best for my squad, Sir." Aubrey saluted.

Flagon scoffed and looked away, focusing on the trees ahead of him.

"Five, four, three, two, one, START!" Erwin's final word had barely finished before Aubrey had shot her 3DMG into the nearest tree, swinging herself through the forest.

There were a few dummies placed right at the entrance of the forest and Aubrey took them down quickly before moving deeper into the trees.

Aubrey closed her eyes as the air flew past her. She loved that feeling, the feeling of flying, of being completely off the ground, defying gravity and all the other stupid rules and laws of the world. She loved the feeling of the wind in her hair and the stinging on her cheeks. 3DMG had been and still was her favorite part of training.

Aubrey snapped her eyes open to see another dummy. She quickly sliced its rubber nape and moved on, finding another, and another, and another. She took down so many 'Titans' that she lost count. But she started to worry. She hadn't seen another soldier since the very beginning of the training session. Was she in the wrong spot? Looking around she decided that couldn't be true. There were still watchers in the trees, marking each dummy that she killed with the purple flag that represented her squad. Aubrey shrugged and continued flying through the branches, taking down titan after titan.

After an indiscernible amount of time, Aubrey finally heard the loud whistle ring that signified the end of the competition. She let out a little sigh of disappointment. Her fun was coming to an end.

Aubrey headed back in the direction from which she had come and eventually broke through the tree line, seeing the now familiar castle. A few other soldiers had already returned and were proceeding to take off their gear. Aubrey spotted both Captain Saru and Kate among them. Captain Saru was surrounded by a group of about six other soldiers, who Aubrey assumed must have made up the elite squadron. She decided to land next to Kate, who was almost finished removing the last of her gear.

"Hey. How'd it go?" Aubrey bent down and began undoing the straps on her own gear.

Kate eyed her and contemplated her words before finally answering. "Fine. You?"

"Oh man, it was great! Very exhilarating, don't ya think?" Aubrey was grinning ear to ear.

Kate gave her a confused look. She never really thought of training to kill man-eating monsters as exhilarating. "Yeah, sure."

Aubrey remembered her thoughts from earlier. "Hey, is that the Elite Squadron over there?" Aubrey nodded her head in the direction of Captain Saru and her entourage.

Kate huffed. "Heh, yeah. Don't waste your time talking to 'em. They're total snobs. Think they're all high and mighty just because they get the title of 'elite'. Doesn't help that they have rooms in the castle, either."

Aubrey's eyes widened. "They have rooms in the castle?"

"Yeah, it's a special privilege reserved for Captains and the Elite Squadron. The Commander is there, too, of course. If you ask me, it's stupid that they get special treatment. It's like asking for them to form an outrageous attitude." Kate shook her head as she finished packing up her gear.

"I see. And Captain Saru leads them I assume?" Aubrey was nearly done loosening her straps.

"Yes. The Captain's not all that bad. She's been with the Scouts for a long time and somehow her ego is still in check." Kate was now patiently waiting for the rest of the group to return.

Aubrey nodded. Captain Saru had been blunt, but not condescending.

"Aubrey!"

Aubrey turned to see both Jack and Tika running towards her. She lifted her hand and waved as they approached.

The two reached her, panting and gasping for breath.

"How was it?" Aubrey was anxious to hear how their experience had been.

"I think it was fine. I had a decent number of kills." Jack spoke while catching his breath.

Aubrey looked to Tika.

"I did alright." Her gaze fell to the ground.

Aubrey bounded to her side. "Great! I'm sure Squad Flagon did just fine!"

"Oi, did you all score me some titans?" Flagon's voice came from behind them, the rest of the team on his flank.

"Yes, Sir!" Aubrey smiled brightly as she called back.

Flagon smiled a bit as the groups merged together. "Good."

"Attention!" Erwin had reappeared at the front of the crowd. "Well done, everyone. The numbers will be recorded and the scores will be announced at dinner tonight. For now, we will continue with training. 3DMG use is done for the day so feel free to pack it up and put it away."

The crowd erupted in conversation, debating who would win and how many 'titans' everyone had killed. Aubrey stuck with Tika and Jack as they followed Flagon and the rest of the crowd to the next stage of training.

The rest of the day consisted mostly of metal effort. Erwin personally went over the formations for the upcoming expeditions with the whole regiment, then spoke to each squad individually to explain their specific role.

Even though Aubrey, Jack, and Tika were rookies, they were being paced with Squad Flagon at the lower right flank. It was unlikely that they would have much trouble, but there was always the possibility that there could be a horde coming from their direction. They would just have to hope for the best.

Finally, dinner came around and the scores were to be announced. The three cadets were at their usual table, chatting quietly as they ate when Erwin spoke.

"Ahem." The room slowly quieted at the sound of the Commander's voice. "I have the results of today's competition." Erwin cleared his throat. "The winner of today's competition is Squad Flagon with a total of 104 kills." Aubrey heard several forks drop to the floor.

Aubrey smiled and clapped for her team, the only noise in the mess hall coming from her. Every pair of eyes turned to look at her, scrutinizing her every movement. Her smile slowly faded as she saw the expressions of her comrades.

"Have I done something wrong?" Aubrey's eyes flickered around as she whispered her question to Jack.

"Aubrey, 104 kills is an extremely high number. I doubt there were more than 500 dummies total in the forest. That means that our squad alone took down over a 1/5th of the targets. Even if we had nine people on our team, that number is almost impossible. I mean, I only had six kills."

Aubrey's eyes widened as she realized her situation. "Six?"

"Which one of you bozos is holding out on me?" Flagon stomped over to the rookies' table along with the rest of the squad. "Everyone tell me how many kills they got!" The whole dining hall was engrossed in the conversation.

Noah started. "I had seven."

"Five." Mary whispered.

"Eight." Kate spoke.

"Six." Steven answered.

"Seven." Glen stated.

"Six." Jack repeated.

"Four." Tika murmured.

"Well I had nine, but that only adds up to fifty-two, so that means..." Flagon's eyes slid over to Aubrey.

"I um... I lost count."

Flagon's jaw dropped to the floor.

"You had h-half? Half of the kills? F-fifty-two?" The Captain was struggling to get his words out.

Aubrey nodded silently. That explained why she hadn't seen anybody around her in the forest. She'd simply been too far ahead of them.

Suddenly, something that Aubrey never could have imagined, happened. The room erupted into cheers and applause. Aubrey felt several pairs of hands on her body, offering her congratulatory taps and pats.

Aubrey squirmed under the gaze of the crowd. Were they cheering for her? She listened more closely, trying to make out individual voices.

'There's hope!'

'She's going to be our savior!'

'Someone with that kind of power could give us the strength of a whole brigade!'

'The titans won't stand a chance!'

Hope? Savior? Aubrey couldn't believe the words she was hearing. She wasn't anyone's savior, she was only doing what she had been training for her whole life. Killing titans was practically second nature.

"Alright, that's enough! Give the girl some space!" Erwin's voice rang out over the roaring of the crowd and eventually the soldiers began to settle, backing up to allow Aubrey a bubble of personal space.. "Everyone did a great job today and I'm very pleased with the overall results of this exercise. Thank you for your hard work." Another cheer arose from the crowd in response to Erwin's words.

Aubrey stood still, shocked and uneasy from her trip into the air. Several people patted her on the back and murmured words of congratulations as they returned to their tables.

"That was amazing!" Tika ran up to Aubrey, embracing her tightly.

"Huh?" The whole situation still seemed bizarre to the cadet.

"Great job, Aubrey!" Jack uncharacteristically joined in on the hug, wrapping his arms around both Tika and Aubrey.

"Um, thanks, I guess. But I don't really get why everyone is so excited about it..." Aubrey looked around, still seeing the hopeful expressions on the faces of her comrades.

Jack pulled away from their group embrace, shaking his head in his usual way.

"Of course you wouldn't get it; you're too humble for your own good." Jack paused before continuing. "They're excited because your strength gives them hope, Aubrey."

Aubrey's face scrunched up. She didn't like where this was going.

Jack sighed and decided to give more explanation. "Aubrey, they think that you're strong enough to make a real difference for the Scout Regiment, for humanity. If we have a soldier like you, one who can be relied on to take down titans without fail, we can go farther on missions, take more risks. You could be a key element to the forward movement of humanity."

Aubrey's face scrunched up even more. "They think I'm their savior." It wasn't a question.

Jack sputtered a bit at her words. "Y-yes. In a way, I suppose."

Aubrey's green eyes went dark and her expression went blank. "Well then they're royally screwed. I'm no savior, just a monster in disguise." Without waiting to hear the reactions of her two friends, Aubrey walked off, heading to her room in the barracks.


	5. Chapter 5

Aubrey had just made it out of the castle when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She whirled around to find Erwin behind her, a cigar hanging out of his mouth.

"Care for a puff?" He took the cigar and held it out.

Aubrey shook her head. "No, thank you."

"Suit yourself." Erwin brought the cigar back to his mouth and inhaled.

Aubrey stood awkwardly. Had the Commander stopped her just to ask if she wanted to share his cigar?

The night was dark but the sky was filled with thousands of twinkling stars and the moon was bright. Aubrey looked up, examining the stars that she had once been forced to memorize.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Erwin spoke up from beside her.

Aubrey looked over at him, confused. Was this really just a casual greeting?

"Yes, it is. It reminds me of my home." Aubrey raised her gaze back to the stars.

"And where is home for you?" Erwin's voice was calm and soothing.

Aubrey kept her gaze on the sky. "I was raised in the northern part of Wall Maria."

Erwin nodded. "I've visited the north a few times. It's not a very nice place in the wintertime."

Aubrey chuckled a bit, remembering the blizzards and piles of snow and ice from her childhood. "No. No, it's not."

Silence claimed the air once again as the two continued to stare at the night sky.

"Do you know the stars?" Erwin finally spoke.

Aubrey was taken by surprise. "Y-yes. How did you know?"

Aubrey saw his white smile reflected by the moonlight. "You study them very intently. Only someone who knew what they were looking at would be that interested."

"Oh." Aubrey dug her foot into the dirt beneath her.

"It's a very useful skill, knowing the stars, as I'm sure you already know. We use them quite often for recalibration outside of the walls."

Aubrey nodded even though it was likely that Erwin couldn't see. "Yes, it has proved useful for me as well."

"Perhaps you would be willing to assist me one the upcoming expedition?"

Aubrey looked over at him, making out his tall silhouette. "Yes, of course. Though I'm sure you can manage just fine on your own, Commander."

Erwin chuckled. "A second opinion never hurt anyone."

Aubrey chuckled in return before deciding that she would get to the point. "Commander, is there a reason I'm here other than to look at the stars with you?"

Erwin laughed once again. The girl was very straightforward. He liked that, it was a good quality in a soldier. "Yes, actually. I wanted to congratulate you on your performance in today's training exercise."

"I see." Aubrey's hands balled into fists, she didn't want to have this conversation again.

"Did you enjoy their little celebration? In the mess hall, I mean." Erwin's voice held curiosity and a tinge of something else that Aubrey couldn't place.

"I'm not really one to celebrate myself. And I'd have to say that it was a bit premature and unnecessary. I'm only one soldier, so I doubt I could make as much of a difference as they seem to think. And I've yet to be up against a real titan. For all they know, I could lose myself and freeze."

"But you won't." Aubrey's head snapped to the side, trying to make out the expression on Erwin's face.

"One soldier can make all the difference, Aubrey. Do not underestimate yourself."

Aubrey was too stunned by his word to make a coherent reply.

Erwin dropped what was left of his cigar to the ground, squishing it beneath his boot. "Goodnight, cadet."

Aubrey could only watch as he walked past her, heading back into the castle.

After a few moments of recuperation, Aubrey was able to move her feet, walking towards the barracks. She shook her head in the darkness. What a bizarre encounter.

_____________________

Aubrey found her way back to her room and was thankful that it was empty. Apparently, Tika had yet to escape the rumble of the mess hall.

Aubrey quickly stripped off her uniform and slipped on her pajamas, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. She placed her head in her hands. This day had been too much.

Erwin had been so quick to analyze her. He had known she knew how to read the stars and those words, 'But you won't.'. He was so confident. Why? Did he have that much faith in her? Did he trust her abilities that much? Did he know?

Aubrey's hands ran through her hair. No. That was impossible. There was no way that he could know. There was nothing to know. Her past was unimportant here. It didn't matter where she came from or whose child she was. Here, she was just a soldier.

Aubrey decided against waiting up for Tika, her friend would probably just worry if she saw the expression on her face. Aubrey climbed under the covers of her bed and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

___________________________________

The next two weeks passed in a flash. The days were spent either on the Training Field or in the classroom where the formations for the upcoming expedition were drilled and smoothed until they couldn't be forgotten. Squad Flagon still held their position at bottom right of the triangle and had planned for what seemed like every possible situation. As careless as he seemed, Flagon actually took his job quite seriously.

Now, the Scout Regiment stood before the gates of Wall Maria, waiting for Erwin's signal to move out. Aubrey, Tika, and Jack all stood at the back right of the group along with the rest of Squad Flagon.

Aubrey looked out on the crowd that had gathered to watch their departure. Some faces held hope while others held only disgust.

"A waste of taxes."

"They'll all end up dead."

"They never accomplish anything."

Aubrey listened to their words with a stone face. She pulled on the reins of her horse, urging it to fall back a bit and close the gap between her and her two friends.

Both Jack's and Tika's expressions were focused, but Aubrey could see the fear. They were scared for their lives and she didn't blame them.

"You two remember what you promised me, right?" Aubrey kept her gaze forward, her expression unreadable.

Out of the corner of her eye, Aubrey saw both soldiers nod their heads.

"Good. Remember that you follow my orders, I don't care what anyone else tells you."

Another round of nods followed her words.

"I will protect you."

Silence followed Aubrey's determined speech. The three friends looked ahead, awaiting the orders of their Commander.

Finally, Erwin's voice rang out, silencing the crowd. "Today marks the beginning of the 37th Expedition outside the walls!" Erwin paused, letting his voice echo through the courtyard. "We must continue to push forward, to fight for the future of humanity! So give me your everything, give me your hearts!"

The Scout Regiment let out a deafening roar, many raising their fists in the air. Aubrey felt a twinge of excitement in her stomach. Even in this dire situation, she couldn't ignore the fact that her dream was about to come true. She was about to see outside the walls. She would be free at last.

"Open the gate!" Erwin's words induced yet another roar from the Regiment.

The rattling of the gears was thunderous as the huge stone block was raised from the ground. As soon as it had reached horse height, Erwin raced through, the rest of the Survey Corps following behind him.

Aubrey dug her heels into her horse's side and whispered a last reminder to her friends as she bolted forward. "Remember."

The outside was more than she ever could have imagined. Aubrey's gaze flickered everywhere, not knowing which thing to take in first. The blue sky was cloudless and stretched forever, birds flying freely through its range. Trees dotted the landscape, adding to the rolling hills of green grass that surrounded them. But the horizon was the best. There was no end in sight. No wall blocking the view, no prison to keep anyone chained. They were free. Really, truly free.

"Take formation!" Erwin's voice somehow carried to the back of the group, even in the open space.

"Come on!" Flagon yelled out to his squad as he veered his stallion to the right, taking his place in the predetermined formation.

Aubrey followed after him, keeping a close eye on Tika and Jack. She squinted, analyzing their faces. She couldn't let them break down. That was the worst thing that could happen. Aubrey pulled her mare between the two as they rode, deciding to take their minds off of the inevitable.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Aubrey did her best to keep her voice lighthearted and carefree.

Jack and Tika snapped their heads to the side at her words, their eyes widening in shock at her tone.

Finally, Jack cracked a smile, realizing her intentions. "Yeah, it really is."

Tika joined in. "We're really doing it. We're outside the walls." Her gaze looked far into the distance.

"We sure are." Aubrey kept her eyes forward as the group rode on.

"Hey, you three, quit screwin' around and keep on the lookout! Those bastards could show up at any time!" Flagon yelled back at the three rookies and there was an instant shift in the air. Aubrey saw Tika stiffen at her side and Jack leaned into his horse just a bit more. The mention of the titans had taken all of the excitement from the atmosphere.

The group rode in silence, gradually growing further and further away from the rest of the Regiment as they settled into the final formation.

Aubrey didn't know how long they had been riding for. It could have been minutes, hours, sometimes it even felt like days, but finally there was a rumble. A steady thumping rose from the ground, the thumping of footsteps. Aubrey heard a squeak from Tika and followed her gaze across the horizon. There, a single titan, no more the seven meters, was slowly making its way towards them.

"Shit! Glen, fire the flare!" Flagon yelled the order over his shoulder.

Glen hastily reached into his saddlebag and fired a red flare into the air, the sound causing the whole squad to flinch and cover their ears.

Aubrey watched as the titan slowly grew nearer. It seemed lazy, like it was taking its time. Her eyes narrowed, she didn't trust it.

"Captain, shall I take it down?" Aubrey yelled forward, trying to get her voice to reach over the wind.

"Huh? Don't be stupid! Erwin will send us in the other direction! Don't engage it unless absolutely necessary!" Flagon shot a glare over his shoulder. They had repeatedly gone over the fact that titans were not to be engaged unless a life was in danger. Was the girl stupid?

Aubrey stayed silent as she kept her eyes on the titan. It looked exactly as had been described to her, but there was something wrong. Titans were supposed to voraciously pursue humans. This one didn't seem to have a sense of urgency. It would stop at intervals, looking around at its surroundings before eventually continuing its casual stroll towards the group. It was abnormal.

A green stream of smoke flew through the air, pointing in the opposite direction. It was exactly as Flagon had said; Erwin was taking them in the other direction and using the tactic of avoidance.

Aubrey shook her head to clear her mind. The titan didn't matter as long as it stayed away. It would only become an issue if it got close and at this rate, it wouldn't be getting near any time soon.

Flagon veered left, following the green flare that Erwin had fired. Aubrey tore her gaze from the titan and followed, each stride of the horse putting distance between her and the man-eating killer.

But the plan didn't last long. The thump of footsteps quickened until it matched Aubrey's rapid heartbeats. Her eyes whipped over her shoulder to see the titan running straight for them, flailing its arms in the air as it stomped.

"Captain! It's an abnormal! We have to kill it!" Aubrey's voice became frantic as her hands moved to the handles of her 3DMG.

"What? Shit!" Flagon viewed the scene unfolding behind him. Aubrey's hands twitched on her gear; they were losing time.

"Captain, let me take care of it! Please!" Aubrey pleaded with her Captain as the titan grew nearer.

"Aubrey!" Tika yelled her name in distress. She couldn't let her friend fight and abnormal on her own, she would most certainly die.

"Fine! Go! And don't get killed, rookie!" Flagon called back to her as he reached into his saddlebag for the black flare that signified an abnormal.

Aubrey turned to her friends, a cold and calculating expression plastered on her face. "Do not follow me. Stay with Flagon and follow the Commander. Don't try anything stupid or heroic and focus on keeping youselves alive. Those are my orders."

After delivering her speech, Aubrey didn't hesitate before standing on the back of her horse and shooting her 3DMG into a nearby tree.

"Aubrey, wait!" Tika screamed after her, but Aubrey didn't look back. Jack would be level headed enough to make sure that Tika didn't act rashly.

Aubrey took a moment to coolly assess her situation. The titan was closing in quickly and there was maybe only 50 meters between her and the monster. The landscape was fairly barren and there were few trees, which would put her 3DMG at a great disadvantage. If that wasn't bad enough, the titan's movements appeared random, with no pattern. Aubrey would have to be cautious.

Her best bet was to wait. She would wait in the tree until the titan passed beneath, then she would be able to get a decent grip on its skin with her gear.

Aubrey sat, awaiting the arrival of her target. As long as it didn't change course now, the titan would pass her. Five, four, three, two, one, zero. Aubrey shot the cables of her 3DMG into the leg of the titan and it flailed past. The abnormal didn't seem to react to her presence and Aubrey took advantage of the fact, quickly cutting the titan's Achilles Heel. The monster fell hard to the ground as Aubrey sliced up its back, quickly cutting deep into its nape. Its body steamed as it lay still on the ground. It was dead.

Aubrey stared blankly at the titan beneath her feet. It was her first kill. Surely, she should feel excitement, fear? She waited, but neither of those emotions came. She felt nothing about her success, only relief that her friends were now safe.

Suddenly, a bang rang out and Aubrey looked up to see that another black flare had been fired into the air. Shortly after, three red flares were fired from the same location. Aubrey's face scrunched with worry. That signal was only used in emergencies. It was a call for backup. Aubrey whistled, calling her mare that was now grazing a few hundred meters away. Squad Flagon was no longer in sight, having gone beyond the horizon while Aubrey was facing down the titan. They'd been headed southeast, so... Aubrey's eyes landed on the lingering smoke of the black flare. No. Aubrey whistled again, this time more urgently. She counted the seconds as her horse galloped toward her. It was taking too long. She had to go, she had to move. She had to move now.

Aubrey hopped off the steaming corpse of the titan beneath her and ran to meet her white mare. They met and Aubrey effortlessly swung herself atop its back, digging her heels into the horse's side as they raced in the direction of Squad Flagon. They had to be alive. They had to be.

Aubrey urged and pushed her horse faster than she ever had before, wishing and hoping that her friends were alive. Everything was taking too long; she couldn't move fast enough, they were too far away. She was useless.

Finally, the specks appeared on the horizon. Aubrey's eyes widened as she took in the scene before her. A horde of titans had rushed her squad. Kate, Steven, and the Captain had fired their 3DMG, attempting to take down the titans before they progressed any further. But it was no use. There were at least fifteen of the monsters and they were moving fast, quickly surrounding the group and reaching their grubby hands into the air, hoping to grasp a human.

Aubrey spotted Tika, her face twisted in fear as the titans swarmed around her. Jack sat next to her, his sword drawn as he sliced off the fingers of a titan that got too close.

"Tika! Jack!" Aubrey screamed as she rode forward, but her voice couldn't be heard over the roar of the wind.

She could only watch in horror as a titan grabbed Steven out of the air, biting his body in half. A muffled shriek escaped Aubrey's lips as her comrade's life was torn from him. Next was Glen. He hadn't fired his 3DMG in time, leaving him defenseless on his horse. A titan's hand grabbed him from behind and squeezed, the life leaving his eyes in a split second.

A purple flare, the signal that instructed the nearest squads to provide backup, fired in the air, pointing the entire Regiment in the direction of Squad Flagon. Tears streamed from Aubrey's eyes. There was no way that help would arrive in time. She wasn't going to arrive in time.

Aubrey's eyes followed as Mary was ripped from her horse and swallowed whole.

"Tika!" Noah's voice shouted over the wind as a titan's hand reached for Tika's body. Noah sliced it off with his blade, but he paid for his actions. While he was busy cutting, another titan plucked him from the ground, bringing him to its mouth and biting his head clean off.

Two titans fell to the ground as Kate and Flagon successfully took down their targets. But it wasn't enough. There were still over a dozen titans surrounding Tika and Jack and there were a dozen sets of titan hands reaching for their helpless bodies. Aubrey was still too far. She couldn't do anything.

'I will protect you.'

'Let me protect you.'

Aubrey let out a sob as she remembered her words. Words that had meant nothing. She had failed. Failed to keep her word. She'd been too hasty to take down the first threat in sight and in turn had left her friends defenseless.

Both Tika and Jack were captured at the same time, sets of grimy hands lifting them into the air.

Aubrey was close, so close. Just a bit further and she would be able to use her 3DMG.

"Tika! Jack!" Both of her friends turned to look at her, her voice finally reaching their ears.

Tears streamed down both of their faces, but they struggled. Their bodies squirming in the hands of the titans.

"Fight! Fight, you idiots!" Aubrey was screaming at the top of her lungs, her voice hoarse as her sobs broke through.

Aubrey looked at Tika and to her surprise, a smile appeared on her face as she mouthed her final words.

'I'm sorry.'

Aubrey watched as her freinds' bodies were bitten in half.

"NO!" Aubrey's roar of pain seemed to echo across the whole world.

Her 3DMG shot out and into the legs of the nearest titan. She spiraled up its back, slicing flesh up and down before finally cutting its nape and sending it to the ground with a thump. The first titan's body had yet to even hit the earth before Aubrey was on to the next, slicing its nape with one swift movement. Then she moved to the next, and the next, and the next, until there were only two titans left. These titans were special. These were the bastards that had taken everything from her, the monsters that had killed her friends. And they would suffer.

Aubrey swung down, slicing the Achilles Tendons of one titan before doing the same to the other. She cut up and down their bodies, moving from one to the other as their injuries healed. She didn't know how long she forced the beasts to feel her wrath. With every cut she let out a roar of rage, her pain and hatred coursing through her.

Finally, with a last shriek, Aubrey sliced the nape of one titan, spinning off of the rotation of her blades to cut the nape of the other in a single motion.

Aubrey's yell silenced and she fell to her knees on the ground, tears streaming down her face and blood steaming off her clothes. By now, backup had arrived, silently watching her display of agony.

Erwin stepped forward, kneeling beside Aubrey on the ground.

"Aubrey-" His words were cut off as Aubrey slapped him across the face. A few gasps and murmurs erupted from the crowd.

"You bastard." Aubrey's voice was cold as ice. Her green eyes raised to meet his, tears still streaming silently down her face. "They're dead."

Erwin's gaze was hard as he looked down at his soldier. "Yes."

Aubrey scoffed. "You said that you were willing to sacrifice your soldiers for the forward movement of humanity. So tell me Erwin, how did their deaths help? How did their sacrifice help move humanity toward freedom?"

Erwin remained silent.

"That's what I thought." Aubrey lowered her gaze back to the ground. "They died in vain." Aubrey felt as if her insides were frozen and burning at the same time. She felt lost, empty, like a hole had been punched through her gut. Everything she had lived for, survived for, had been taken away from her in a matter of seconds. And all because she had made the wrong choice.

"No." Erwin's voice rang clear in the silence. Aubrey looked back up at him. How did he have the nerve to say that? "They didn't die in vain." Aubrey's expression remained one of stone. "Their deaths mean something for humanity. More than you realize."

"And how's that?" Aubrey's words were tinged with rising anger. She felt loathing rising within her.

Erwin continued. "You. Their deaths have spurred you on. Their deaths have made you an even more valuable asset for humanity. Look around you, Aubrey. Your anger has saved Kate and Flagon. They are alive because of your fury." Aubrey looked over to see her Captain and friend staring at her, their expressions unreadable. "This is the only way that one can grow stronger, through pain. Though I suspect you already know that." Aubrey didn't respond. He was right, she knew that lesson well. "Because of this, you will grow stronger, you will move humanity forward. That is how their sacrifices have contributed. That is how they will live on."

Aubrey sat silently. Erwin's words ran through her mind on repeat. Had their deaths really meant something? Could she really move humanity forward all on her own?

Suddenly, Aubrey felt something bubbling up in her throat and before she knew it, she was sobbing.

Her screams of anguish were so strong that many in the Regiment had to turn their back, unable to watch the scene. Aubrey shrieked into the earth, pulling and tugging at her hair as she cursed the gods, cursed this world.

Without warning, she threw herself into Erwin's arms, crying into his neck and soaking his collar with her tears. Erwin stilled, not knowing how to react to the sudden change. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Aubrey's back, comforting her pain.

Eventually, Aubrey's cries quieted as the last bit of energy left her body. She slumped against Erwin and in response, he shifted to support her weight. Silently, he picked up her limp body, carrying her to his horse. He turned to the rest of the Regiment.

"We're heading back. Take the usual formation and follow my lead. We're going back to the gate." There were no cries of protest as everyone climbed atop their horses.

Erwin hoisted Aubrey onto the horse and climbed up to sit behind her. Aubrey rested her head on his chest, unable to do anything more than keep her eyes open. Above her, the sky was blue, just as blue as it had been that morning, but now there were two less souls under its blue expanse. Aubrey would have cried again, but there didn't seem to be any tears left in her body.

Aubrey turned her head to the side, taking one last look at the place where her friends would rest for eternity. It looked... peaceful. The bodies of the titans had long since steamed away and all that remained was the green expanse of flowing grass and trees.

"Move out!" Erwin's voice thundered over the Regiment.

Aubrey closed her eyes as she felt the horse jolt forward.

'I'm sorry. Please forgive me.' Aubrey felt herself slip into sleep as she left the scene of her failure behind her.


	6. Chapter 6

The next five months passed in a flurry of activity. The 38th Expedition was approaching quickly and Erwin was intent on improving the formations to lessen casualties. Aubrey had insisted on helping.

After their return from the previous expedition, Aubrey had quickly returned to normal, never crying and never truly mourning. Erwin had encouraged her to take some time off, but Aubrey had politely declined, saying that normality was the best thing for her.

The two had grown close over the past months, becoming good friends. Aubrey used Erwin as a confidant and support mechanism, while he used her as good company. A mind as sharp as hers was rare.

It was six weeks before the launch of the 38th expedition beyond the walls and Aubrey was on her way to Erwin's office for their nightly round of tea. She looked forward to this time; it was always nice to mock Flagon, especially to the Commander.

Aubrey knocked three times on the wooden door, shifting the tray of tea to one hand.

"Come in." Erwin's voice called from the other side.

Aubrey pushed open the door and walked in casually. Erwin sat at his desk, a pile of papers stacked higher than his head waited before him.

"Rough day?" Aubrey chuckled as she placed the tray on the small coffee table.

Erwin rubbed his temples. "Yes. We have some new transfers coming in tomorrow and the paperwork is insufferable."

Aubrey poured him a cup of tea, adding milk and honey as she knew he liked it. "Transfers? From which Regiment?" Aubrey placed the cup at the side of Erwin's desk.

"None."

Aubrey face scrunched. None? What did that mean?

"They're not coming from another Regiment?"

Erwin shook his head. "They're not in the Military."

Aubrey nearly spit out her tea. "You mean they've never had formal training?"

"No." Erwin picked up his cup and took a sip, smiling as he set it back down. Aubrey made the best tea.

Aubrey's eyes narrowed. Erwin looked a bit too smug for her liking. "Did you recruit them?" Erwin nodded, scribbling away at the paperwork before him. Aubrey raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Erwin to be vague. "Where did you find them?"

"You'll see."

Aubrey's jaw dropped. "You're not going to tell me? Why?"

Erwin stopped his scribbling to look up at her, a smirk plastered to his face. "To be honest, I want to see your genuine, unfiltered reaction. They're quite the bunch."

Aubrey jumped from her seat and walked over to Erwin, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "Oh come on, pleeeeeease?" Aubrey gave him her biggest smile and batted her eyelashes dramatically.

Erwin chuckled at her attempt to get information out of him. "Sorry, but no."

Aubrey dropped his hand, a pout forming on her face. "You're no fun."

Erwin smiled and returned to his work.

Aubrey plopped back down onto the couch, taking another sip of her tea.

"How was your day?" Erwin's words were soft and comforting.

Aubrey jutted her chin out. He was changing the subject. Eventually, she sighed and replied.

"The same as usual. Flagon went off about getting horseshit on his shoes and made us clean out the stables. Then Hanji made me do another 'experiment'. She wanted me to do the one where I kill as many dummies as I can in one minute. Apparently my score went up by two so I guess there's that."

Erwin nodded in acknowledgement. "Yes, that's very good." Aubrey looked down at the floor. Training had gone late today, so she wouldn't be able to stay much longer. "You must be tired, you should get to bed." Aubrey looked up at Erwin in surprise. Sometimes, it seemed that he could read her mind.

Aubrey nodded, stretching and yawning as she rose from the couch. "You're right. Do you want me to take that?" Aubrey pointed to his half-empty teacup.

Erwin waved his hand. "No, I'll take it down later."

"Alright." Aubrey gathered her things and walked to the door. Suddenly she stopped, looking over her shoulder at her friend. "How many of them are there?"

Erwin raised his head and sighed. "Three." Aubrey smiled. She'd gotten him started and now he was practically an open book.

"Boys or girls?" Aubrey was nearly jumping up and down with excitement.

Erwin reached for his teacup and smiled at her reaction. "Two males and one female."

"Oh, yay! This is going to be so fun! What are their names?" Aubrey's words came out in a rush.

"That's enough for tonight. I've already said too much."

Aubrey frowned. She was having fun.

"Goodnight, Aubrey." Erwin returned to scribbling at his paperwork.

Aubrey's lip jutted out in a pout, but she listened to the polite dismissal. "Goodnight, Erwin." Aubrey walked out, closing the wooden door behind her.

Aubrey made her way down to the kitchens, washing the dirty teapot and cup and putting away the dishes. She took her time. When she was done, she would have to go back to that room. That lonely room.

Finally, she had no choice but to go and Aubrey walked along the dark pathways of Headquarters, making her way to the barracks.

The wooden building came into view and Aubrey felt her heart skip a beat. Going in was always the worst. It was always so cold and empty.

Aubrey entered through the back door, the one that led straight into her room. Everyone else was already asleep, so it was best not to wake them by going through the front. Aubrey paused as she stepped inside, letting the wave of sadness rush over her.

She looked to the left side of the room. Things were exactly as they had been that last day. The exact way that Tika had left them. Aubrey didn't have the strength to move them. Jack's things had been moved out of his room in the male barracks, but they now sat in boxes in the corner of Aubrey's dorm.

Silently, Aubrey tore her gaze away from Tika's empty bed and made her way to her dresser, pulling out a pair of pajamas and slipping them on. She quickly climbed under the covers and shoved her face into the pillow. The sooner she fell asleep, the sooner she could escape this hell, though her dream often offered an even worse inferno. It was the same nearly every night. She was forced to watch a replay of her friends' deaths right before her eyes. Forced to relive the pain and horror every time. Forced to see Tika mouth their final words.

'I'm sorry.'

Why had Tika apologized? It was Aubrey who had failed, Aubrey who should have been saying sorry.

Aubrey squeezed her eyes shut. She had to go to sleep. Thinking about those things wasn't exactly like counting sheep. She focused on her breathing. In, out. In, out. In, out. Her heart slowed and she slipped away into the darkness that would be her own personal purgatory.

_________________________

Aubrey awoke with a start, sweat dripping down her neck as her nightmare ended. Her breathing was heavy as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, placing her head in her hands. It never got easier.

Aubrey stood, heading to the showers where she quickly washed and dressed. Ready for the day, Aubrey headed to the mess hall. She was up a bit early, so the traffic was light.

Upon entering the dining hall, Aubrey immediately spotted Erwin at their usual table, dark bags beneath his eyes.

Aubrey chuckled as she made her way over to him. "Someone stayed up too late." She poked him in the forehead as she walked past, grabbing a tray of food and returning to sit next to him.

Erwin smiled. "Yes, I suppose I was up a bit too late."

"You should have asked me to stay; I would have stayed up with you." Aubrey took a bite of the sloppy oatmeal in her bowl.

"And then we'd both be exhausted. Besides, I want you feeling yourself today." Erwin winked.

Aubrey's eyes widened a bit. She'd forgotten about the so-called 'transfers'.

"Aubrey!"

Aubrey's gaze shifted over to see Hange running across the mess hall, a crazed look on her face.

The woman quickly slid into the seat next to Aubrey and placed a book in front of her, pushing her tray of food out of the way.

"Good morning, Hange." Aubrey smiled brightly. She quite liked the woman, her enthusiasm was contagious.

"I have news!" Hange grabbed Aubrey's hand and squeezed so hard that it hurt.

"Okay, tell me." Hange's eyes glimmered. Aubrey was the only one who ever wanted to hear about her 'experiments'.

"Well, I was going through all of your results last night and I've detected a pattern in your performance!" Hange was bouncing in her seat.

Aubrey frowned. "A pattern?"

Hange nodded. She quickly flipped open the book that she had brought earlier, opening to a page that showed a list of dates and numbers. "As you can see, I've had you do each experiment on multiple occasions at different times of the month, and all of the evidence points to one thing."

Aubrey raised her eyebrows. "And that thing is?"

Hange giggled excitedly. "You always perform your best around the full moon."

Aubrey's expression instantly turned to a frown. She'd known this already. She always slept better on nights with a full moon. Something about the light from the stars lulled her to sleep. She never had nightmares on a full moon. It was the only night of the month that she got any decent sleep.

"I see." Aubrey quickly erased the frown from her face. There was no need to make Hange feel discouraged. "That's very interesting! Do you have any theories as to why?"

Hange shook her head. "No. Actually, I was going to ask you. Do you do anything different around that time? Do you feel any different?" Hanji continued to ask questions, but Aubrey just shrugged them off. She'd never told anyone about her nightmares, not even Erwin. It would just make them worry.

Aubrey finished her oatmeal as Hanji went on about all of the other 'experiments' she wanted to try and Aubrey nodded her head, entertaining her.

Finally, breakfast ended and everyone rose from their seats. But before anyone could leave, Erwin made an announcement.

"Attention! We have a special announcement today, so before beginning training, I would like everyone to line up on the field."

A few murmurs ran through the crowd as everyone filed out of the mess hall, heading for the training field. Aubrey kept close to Erwin, walking by his side as they made their way to the green lawn.

Soldiers had already started to line up in the usual neat block that was the standard formation for announcements. Aubrey scanned the crowd, looking for any new faces.

"Where are they, Erwin?" Aubrey whispered so as not to alert Hange, who was just on the Commander's other side.

Erwin smiled at her eagerness. "They'll be here." A smirk formed on his face. Aubrey pouted. It wasn't like Erwin to be so mysteriously smug. "Go get in line. I'm going to start."

"Okay. See you after?" Erwin nodded and Aubrey took that as her cue to grab Hange, pulling them both into line with the rest of the Regiment.

Erwin took his spot at the front of the crowd, clearing his throat before speaking. "I have a very special announcement." The crowd quieted as everyone listened carefully to their Commander's next words. "Today we will be receiving a few transfers." A few murmurs broke through the silence. It was rare to receive transfers in any Regiment, especially in the Survey Corps. "I would like everyone to treat them with kindness and civility, they are very important." Aubrey heard a scoff and turned to her right to see Flagon making a face of disgust. Did he know something? "Bring them out!"

A door of the castle opened and several soldiers walked out. It was obvious who the three transfers were, they had no 3DMG and they were being closely watched by the others around them. Aubrey's eyes narrowed. They were being treated with caution. Why? Were they dangerous?

The group slowly made its way closer to the Regiment and Aubrey was able to get a good look at the newcomers. The first was a man of maybe six feet, Aubrey guessed that he was probably around the age of twenty, his shaggy blond hair falling across his forehead. His icy blue eyes scanned the crowd excitedly as a small smile adorned his lips. He walked casually, seemingly unbothered by the close watch he was under.

The next was a small girl with what Aubrey could already tell was a lively personality. She appeared a bit younger, perhaps sixteen, and walked with a bounce in her step, her red pigtails moving with her. Her green eyes glowed as she took in her surroundings, a toothy grin plastered on her face. Aubrey smiled. She liked her already.

The last of the group was a boy that looked no more than a few years older than Aubrey. He was on the shorter side compared to the other men in the regiment, perhaps 5'8" or 5'9". But what he lacked in height, he made up for with physique. Aubrey noticed how his muscles flexed as he walked easily toward the crowd, his jet black hair falling across his face. But the most fascinating thing about him was his eyes. They were an icy silver that Aubrey had never seen before, crystals that seemed to pierce through everything they looked at, including herself. Aubrey's gaze met with his as he neared and she was unable to tear herself away. The boy's eyes narrowed as he looked at her and Aubrey's brows furrowed in concentration. Holding his glare was exhausting.

Finally, the group reached Erwin and the boy broke their eye contact, looking up at the Commander. Aubrey could swear she saw hatred in his eyes.

"Please, introduce yourselves." Erwin gestured to the waiting crowd with his hand.

The boy turned to face his audience and spoke for the first time. "The name's Levi." His voice was disinterested and monotone. Gasps rose from the crowd at his blatant disrespect. Aubrey raised an eyebrow. He was quite rebellious.

Aubrey watched with interest as the other two transfers looked to Levi with respect and admiration. It was obvious that he was the leader.

The next to speak was the girl. She bounced forward and brought her hand forward in a thumbs up as she talked. "I'm Isabel Magnolia! Nice ta meet'cha!"

Aubrey giggled a bit at the girl's enthusiasm. Hange stood next to her, wide-mouthed and slack jawed.

Aubrey's small laugh once again drew the attention of Levi and their eyes met. Aubrey kept her smile on her lips and winked. Levi's eyes widened a bit before he scoffed and looked away. Aubrey chuckled again. It seemed he would be difficult to warm up to.

Finally, the blond man stepped forward and gave an incorrect salute, causing Aubrey's smile to grow even larger. She truly was enjoying this. New recruits were fun.

"My name is Farlan Church."

Blank stares came from the crowd as everyone awaited the next moves of the transfers.

Erwin spoke up. "As I said before, these three are now your comrades in arms so treat them as such." The crowd remained silent, still a bit shocked from the encounter. "Flagon, I need to speak with you. Everyone else is dismissed to start training."

The soldiers broke apart, shuffling into their squads as they prepared for the coming day. Aubrey decided to follow Flagon over to Erwin, remembering his promise to see her afterwards.

Aubrey arrived at Erwin's side, smiling up at him. His head tilted to look down at her as a smile came to his own lips.

"Well?" Erwin whispered the question to her. He wanted to know what she'd thought of his surprise recruits.

Aubrey smirked. "Fascinating." Erwin chuckled at her response, but tore his attention away as Flagon finally arrived.

"You wanted to see me, Commander?" Flagon's words were strained. Aubrey had guessed what was about to happen and by the tone of his voice, she suspected that Flagon had guessed, too.

"Ah, yes. I wanted to inform you that these three will be placed in your squad." Aubrey's eyes glimmered. This day was just getting better and better.

"But Commander, surely there is a better fit for them elsewhe-"

"Are questioning my orders?" Erwin raised an eyebrow. Aubrey had to fight the urge to laugh as Flagon's face flickered between irritation and fear.

"N-no, Sir." He barely managed to say the words.

"Good, then. Please, would you go and prepare three sets of 3DMG gear for your new members?"

Any trace of fear left Flagon's face as it was replaced by solid irritation. He obviously wasn't happy about his new circumstances.

"Fine." Flagon turned on his heel and headed off in the direction of the training field.

Erwin leaned down to whisper into Aubrey's ear. "Please don't let Flagon do anything stupid. Watch out for these three, will you?" Aubrey nodded vigorously, eager to meet the new recruits.

Erwin stood up straight. "Well, I leave it to you then." With a wave of his hand, the soldiers that had been surrounding the new transfers dispersed, going to join training themselves. Aubrey smiled. Erwin's dismissal of the guards told her that he trusted her to keep the newbies in line. Levi seemed to have noticed the action's meaning as well because Aubrey caught him glaring at her yet again. "I'll be observing today if you need anything." Aubrey nodded once again in acknowledgement and Erwin briskly turned and walked away, presumably going to get the day's training exercises in order.

Aubrey and the group of three were left alone, but she didn't let the silence last very long.

"My name is Aubrey Daremo. It looks like we're on the same squad, so I'm sure we'll get to know each other in time." Aubrey paused, waiting for a response, but none came. She didn't let it bother her and continued. "Right, well we should follow the Captain. He probably has your 3DMG ready by now..." Aubrey trailed off as she thought of a grumpy Flagon preparing 3DMG. She'd have to double-check all of the latches to make sure he didn't miss anything. He wasn't a very attentive man.

"Follow me." Aubrey smiled at the group as she walked toward the training field. The sound of footsteps behind her told her that her request was being followed.

The silence grew a bit awkward, and after a moment, Aubrey decided to speak up again.

"I'm assuming you all know how to use 3DMG?" She looked over her shoulder at the group as she spoke.

Levi's eyes narrowed. "How did you know that?" His voice sounded distrustful.

Aubrey smiled, trying to ease his worries. "Erwin wouldn't let just anyone in without military training. That must mean that you three are pretty good." Aubrey gave Levi another wink, but this time he only narrowed his eyes more.

"How do you know that we don't have military training?" This time it was Farlan who questioned her.

Aubrey turned fully around while continuing to walk backwards. "Ah, yes, that is a bit of information that only a few know. I squeezed it out of Erwin." Aubrey chuckled at the memory.

Levi's brows furrowed and Farlan looked to the ground. Aubrey decided to change topics.

"Isabel, right?"

The girl looked up in surprise. "Uh, yeah."

"Have you been shown your room yet?"

Isabel frowned a bit. "No. Big Bro and Farlan got theirs, but they told me that I'd have to be shown mine later." Her expression turned to disgust.

Aubrey giggled. 'Big Bro?'. The sound caused Isabel to look at her in confusion. "Well I can show you myself, later. Usually it's Captain Saru who does orientation for the girls, but she's really not the best at it." Aubrey shook her head, remembering the blunt introduction that Captain Saru had given her.

"Oh, okay! Thanks!" Isabel seemed delighted to have made a new friend.

Aubrey turned back around and found that they had nearly reached Flagon. Three sets of 3DMG were laid out on the ground before them.

"Here we are!" Aubrey whirled around to face them and flashed a blinding smile.

"Just put on a set and let's get moving." Flagon grumbled at the new members and Aubrey frowned at him.

"No need to be so grumpy, Captain." Aubrey held back a smile as his face turned a bright red.

"I am not grumpy!" Aubrey imagined smoke coming out of his ears. "Whatever. Just put on the gear already."

The new members already had their hands on their respective sets and were strapping it on with extreme precision. Their actions looked natural, like they'd been putting the stuff on every day for years. Aubrey watched with fascination.

"Ugh." Levi made a disapproving sound as he inspected his equipment.

"Is there a problem?" Flagon was fuming.

Levi shot him a disgusted look. "Yeah. Your gear is filthy. Are you sure you trained to be a soldier?" Levi ran his finger along a crevice of the machine, coming away with a line of dirt and oil.

Flagon's eyes were about to bulge from his head. Suddenly he started walking straight for Levi, anger in his eyes.

The Captain reached for Levi's collar. "Listen here you-" Flagon's reach was stopped by a hand on his wrist.

"Now, now Captain. There's no need to get physical." Aubrey kept her fingers wrapped around Flagon's wrist as she turned to face Levi. "I'm sorry that your gear has not been properly taken care of. I can come by after training today with the proper cleaning supplies and tools. I'll even clean it myself if you'd like." Aubrey smiled widely at Levi and his eyes widened. Was the girl really offering to clean his gear for him?

Levi quickly regained his composure. "Tch. Whatever, I can clean it myself. You wouldn't do a good enough job, anyway."

Aubrey rubbed the back of her head sheepishly with her free hand. "You're probably right."

"Enough!" With an immense amount of force, Flagon ripped his wrist from Aubrey's grip. "Talk about your dumb cleaning supplies later. Training is about to start." Flagon turned and briskly walked away.

Levi's eyes narrowed as he noticed the red mark on the Captain's wrist. The girl's grip had been strong.

"Right, well, if you all are ready, let's go." Aubrey turned and followed Flagon as they headed for the giant forest that all 3DMG training was conducted in. "What kind of training is it today, Captain?!" Aubrey yelled ahead.

"How should I know? Erwin's about to announce it." Flagon called over his shoulder. He sounded like he was on the edge of snapping.

Aubrey ignored him and looked to see Erwin once again taking his place at the front of the group. The soldiers quieted as they saw him ready to speak.

"Today's training will be standard squadron training. Please make use of your 3DMG and work on both your skills as a team and individually. The dummies have been replaced and set up for your use. Have a productive day." Erwin finished and stepped aside, though he didn't leave as usual. Aubrey recalled that he'd said he was staying for observation today. She could guess why. Everyone, even Erwin, would be curious about the skills of the transfers.

Aubrey caught his eye and he gave her a quick wink before his gaze moved to settle on Levi, who had been watching their exchange. Aubrey nearly took a step back as she saw the malice in his eyes as he looked at Erwin. It had been quite a while since she'd seen such blatant hatred. Her brows furrowed and she made a mental note to watch Erwin's back for him.

Flagon had begun walking towards the forest with his new squad of Kate and Hange and the new additions of Isabel and Farlan followed. Levi stood still, seemingly frozen in his rage. Aubrey cautiously approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

However, she quickly drew her hand back and gasped in surprise. Her fingertips felt like they were on fire. Levi's head whipped around, but his eyes no longer held the hatred from only moments before. Now they only held the same shock as Aubrey. She guessed he'd felt the fire, too.

It took Aubrey a moment before she was able to speak. "S-sorry. Um, we should follow the others. They're about to begin." Her voice was weak and breathy. She was still recovering from the electric current in her fingers.

Levi seemed to be equally shaken because it took him a second to respond. Even his answer was uncharacteristically not rude. "R-right."

Aubrey attempted a smile and turned around, following after the rest of the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Finally some Levi! Sorry that it's taken this long to even get him in the story, but I promise things will start to pick up from here. Finally got all of that character backstory out of the way... Anyway, thanks for reading and please leave a comment!


	7. Chapter 7

When the two met up with the rest of the squad, Flagon had a smirk plastered to his face. Aubrey wanted to stop him before he even started to speak. Whatever he was about to say, it wasn't going to be good.

"We're going to do individual training first. Let's see how fast you'll be titan fodder, rookies." Aubrey rolled her eyes. Her Captain really was a buffoon sometimes.

"Captain, perhaps we should start with a few minutes of orientation? These three just got their gear. They may need some time to calibrate it." Aubrey spoke gently. Angering Flagon would only make the situation worse for everyone.

"No, we can do it. We don't need time to calibrate." Farlan spoke up from the edge of the group, a smug smile on his lips.

Aubrey raised an eyebrow, but couldn't help but smile back. This whole situation really was fascinating.

"Well then, the idea is simple. Kill as many dummies as you can by slicing their nape with your blades."

Aubrey drew her own blades, hoping to give the recruits an idea how to handle them. She didn't know how far their knowledge of 3DMG went.

"Rookies first." Aubrey eyed the Captain. He was being particularly obnoxious.

The three transfers drew their blades and Aubrey was grateful that she had given them an example. Isabel and Farlan seemed a bit confused at first, but they quickly adjusted. Levi, on the other hand, didn't even bother to glance at Aubrey. He drew his blades and held them in front of him as a look of disgust crossed his face. His hands fiddled with the handles for a moment before he flipped the swords over, holding them backwards and upside down.

"Hey, that's not how you hold those!" Flagon yipped at Levi upon seeing his stance. Aubrey's eyes sparkled at his new way of holding the blades. She noticed Hange doing the same.

"It doesn't matter how I hold them as long as I can kill your precious titans, right?" Levi looked bored.

"W-well..." Flagon's face was flustered.

"Let's just see how it turns out, shall we Captain?" Aubrey placed a comforting hand on Flagon's shoulder.

He shrugged her off. "Fine. Do what you want." He turned and blasted into the forest, off to find a spot where he could critique Levi's every move.

Aubrey followed, finding a spot in a nearby tree where she could watch the event. Hange landed next to her, her body radiating excitement.

"The way he holds the blades is so unique! I've never seen anything like it!"

"Hm." Aubrey gave her a vague response. She was too interested in what was going on below to focus on Hange's words.

Levi fiddled with his blades a bit more, adjusting his grip until it felt natural. When he finally looked up, he found both Isabel and Farlan staring at him expectantly.

"What are you two waiting for? Let's go."

Isabel smirked and shot her gear into the nearest tree, a loud 'yippee!' following behind her.

Farlan shook his head and went after her.

Levi was the last to leave the ground. Just before he shot into the air, he spotted Aubrey on the branch of a nearby tree. His brows furrowed at the sight of her. What had been that touch earlier? It had felt like flames running over his skin. Not knowing what to make of it, Levi turned away and flew into the trees.

Aubrey's face lit up as she watched the new recruits enter the air. They were good. Very good. As good as some of their best soldiers. They moved naturally through the trees and they seemed confident. Aubrey nearly fell off of her branch as she jumped up and down with excitement.

"Aubrey! Aubrey! Look at him!" Hange held out her hand, pointing to Levi as he went in for his first kill.

Both of them stood dumbfounded as Levi approached the dummy, suddenly swinging himself around and spinning with his blades, effortlessly cutting the titan's nape.

Aubrey giggled. He was incredible.

Levi continued his killing spree. He took down countless dummies in just minutes while making use of his unique strategy.

Finally, he paused, landing on a branch and leaning against the trunk of the tree. Aubrey had yet to take her eyes off him. He was stunning, she realized. He looked so calm, so confident. It was infectious.

"Aubrey." Hange whispered from beside her. She seemed to be out of breath from excitement. "If my numbers are correct, he's taken down almost as many dummies as you in the same amount of time." Her voice was breathy as she stared at the man below them.

She mumbled something after that, but Aubrey didn't hear her, she was already gone. She landed on Levi's branch, walking over to him and grabbing his hand.

She instantly recognized the feeling of fire where her skin met his, but she ignored it, pulling him closer.

"Race me." Aubrey's voice was strong and sure.

"What?" Levi made to pull his hand away, but her grip only tightened.

"Race me." Aubrey repeated her words with an equal amount of sureness.

"What are you talking about, brat?" Levi stopped struggling. Her grip was too strong.

Aubrey didn't flinch at his rude nickname. "I want you to have a competition with me. We'll race to see who can kill more titans in one minute."

Levi gave her a deadpan look. "No."

Aubrey's face fell. "Why not?"

Levi's tone was slightly angered. "Because I don't want to."

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun!" Aubrey bobbed up and down, trying to prove her point.

Levi's glare would have crumbled anyone else, but Aubrey didn't react.

"I don't see anything fun about it." Levi's voice wavered a bit. He'd never met anyone who was willing to be so persistent with him.

"Well don't you like flying?"

Levi froze for a moment. Flying? The girl was so innocent that it was almost unbelievable.

Suddenly, the two heard a thump behind them. Hange had landed on the branch and was looking at Levi like he was a shiny new toy.

"You have to do that again! I must see that technique of yours up close! It seems highly effective. Perhaps we've been thinking about the blades all wrong..." Hange trailed off as she muttered more of her ideas under her breath.

Aubrey smiled at Levi. "See? If you need a reason, do it for Hange's experiment."

"I don't want to be part of your stupid experiment." Levi was getting uncomfortable. The fire in his hand was spreading and his breathing was speeding up.

"Well then do it for me." Aubrey looked him straight in the eyes. Levi struggled to look away. Her green gaze was mesmerizing.

"Why would I do anything for you?" It was becoming difficult for him to speak. He tensed his muscles. Why was her presence having such an effect on him?

"Because then I'll owe you one. And it never hurts to have a favor available. Especially from me." Aubrey winked at him.

Levi sighed. "If I do your stupid experiment, will you leave me alone?" Aubrey nodded vigorously. "Fine then. Let's get it over with."

Aubrey released Levi's hand, jumping up and down with excitement. "Yay!" Without a second's hesitation, Aubrey turned to Hange. "Hange, go get Kate and tell her to count my kills. Levi and I are going to race."

Hange looked as if she were going to melt. "Right!" She shot into the forest to look for Kate.

Aubrey turned back to Levi, giving him one last confident smile. "See you on the other side." She leapt off the branch, following Hange.

______________________

A small crowd had gathered at the edge of the forest, waiting to watch the so-called 'race'. Many of them were puzzled. They didn't see the point. No one had ever come close to Aubrey's scores before and a rookie certainly didn't stand a chance.

Murmurs and whispers filled the air as Aubrey stood on her own, adjusting her straps and equipping a new set of blades. Levi watched her. For some reason, his eyes wouldn't leave her. It was like a moth to a flame. Whenever his eyes wandered, he would end up seeing her. He decided that it was something about the way she moved. It was so smooth, so graceful. It was unlike anything he had ever seen.

"What made you agree to a competition?" Farlan's voice broke him from his thoughts.

"She begged me until I was worried that I would slit her throat." Levi never took his eyes off Aubrey as he spoke.

Farlan laughed. "That's the only reason?"

Levi's brows scrunched together. "No. She said that she would owe me a favor. It could be useful for the purpose of our mission. Especially since she seems close to the blonde bastard."

"Nice goin', Big Bro!" Isabel playfully punched him on the shoulder. Levi tore his eyes from Aubrey to give her an unamused look.

"I see." Farlan paused before continuing. "Well get ready. She's headed this way." Levi turned to see Aubrey making her way toward him, her usual smile perfectly in place.

"You ready?" Her voice was cheerful and excited.

Levi tried his best to keep a stony face. "I guess."

"Great, let's go then!" Aubrey grabbed his hand and pulled him away, a shocked Isabel and Farlan looking after them.

The two new transfers looked at each other.

"I-I don't think I've seen Levi let anyone touch him like that." Farlan's face was one of pure shock as he whispered to Isabel. Suddenly, the two of them burst out laughing, struggling to calm down in time to watch the show.

_______________

"Your skills with the gear are impeccable, you know." Aubrey whispered to Levi as they watched Kate and Hange disperse into the forest, taking their places to count 'kills'. Aubrey paused before she continued. "You're better than any other soldier here."

Levi narrowed his eyes. "Then what makes you want to race me?"

Aubrey smirked. "I said any other soldier here."

Levi raised an eyebrow at her, but was cut off before he could say anything else.

"Are you two ready?!" Hange's voice called from the woods.

"Yes!" Aubrey hollered back.

"Alright then. On your mark!"

Aubrey's hands went to her blades and Levi did the same.

"Get set!"

Both of them crouched into a ready stance.

"Go!"

Two sets of gear fired at the same time as the crowd began to cheer for their preferred contestant.

Aubrey stole a final glance at Levi before turning into the woods and beginning her killing spree. She spun up and down the bodies of the titans, never stopping or landing on anything. All of the dummies had been placed relatively close together, so she was able to use the wooden cutouts as latch on points for her gear, meaning she never had to lose time swinging from a tree.

Aubrey continued, pushing faster than she ever had before. It was exhilarating. Having some competition was pushing her to new heights.

"Time's up!" Kate's voice called out to her. She had been sitting on a nearby branch, keeping watch and counting.

Aubrey gave her a nod and landed, catching her breath.

"Well?" She looked up at Kate.

Her friend smiled and shook her head. "Nuh uh. You'll have to wait to hear the results just like everybody else."

Aubrey let out a breathy laugh and nodded as the two of them headed back to meet the crowd.

____________

Levi and Hange had already arrived as the crowd came into view. Aubrey landed at Levi's side and picked up his hand once again. She nearly dropped it. She'd already almost forgotten about the fire.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?"

Aubrey could almost swear that she saw the corners of his mouth twitch before he pressed his mouth into a hard line.

"Not really. It was a lot of work." Aubrey rolled her eyes at his response.

"I can't hold it anymore! Levi got twenty-two!" Hange practically screamed the words.

Aubrey's eyes widened in amazement. That was a higher number than she'd ever gotten. Murmurs from the crowd reached her ears.

'Twenty-two?'

'That's even higher than Aubrey's top score!'

'Impossible!'

'That's more than a titan every three seconds!'

The crowd settled as Hange turned to the other proctor. "Kate?"

The girl had a small smirk on her lips as she held the suspense for a moment. "Aubrey's score was... twenty-three."

Nobody moved. Everyone was too stunned to react.

Finally, a singular hoot arose from the crowd and everyone erupted into cheers and laughter. Aubrey giggled at their reaction. It seemed like every soldier in the Scout Regiment was a sucker for some good old competition.

When she turned to look at Levi, she saw his expression as passive as ever. He stared at the ground, seeming to analyze a pebble at his feet. But what really caught Aubrey's attention were the two transfers standing over his shoulder. They looked stricken, as if they couldn't believe what had just happened. Both of their mouth's were wide open, their eyes the size of saucers.

Aubrey tore her gaze from their reaction, they'd obviously been shocked to see their leader lose. In fact, Aubrey was shocked, too. After hearing Levi's score from Hange, she had been sure that there was no way she could have beaten it. But the competition had pushed her faster, stronger, harder than she had ever gone before. And it had paid off.

"Well that's 1-0 for me." Aubrey spoke to Levi softly.

His face turned at the sound of her voice. "Do you mean I'm going to have to do this again?"

Aubrey giggled. "No doubt." She nodded her head in the direction of Hange, who was staring at Levi like a piece of meat.

Levi only sighed at the sight, but didn't object.

"Thank you." Aubrey took a step closer to him. Levi's eyes widened at her presence. The air between them had turned to static.

"For what?" He could barely speak.

Aubrey smiled. "For doing the race, idiot?" Levi was taken aback. Had she just called him an idiot? "And remember, I owe you one. If you ever need anything, let me know." With that, Aubrey turned and walked away, heading over to Flagon, who looked as flustered as usual.

Levi stood still for a moment. He couldn't get a read on her. She was an intense soldier, yet she was so happy. So optimistic. Where had she learned to use her gear that way? It had taken him years of practice in the underground to reach the level that he was at. Levi furrowed his brows and looked away. She was not important. He had a job to do and she was not a part of it. It was pointless to waste time thinking about her. He made his way over to Isabel and Farlan, whose mouths were still hanging wide open.

Levi shot them a look of distaste. "Shut your mouths. It's disgusting." Both of their jaws snapped shut with a click.

"H-how?-" Farlan began to speak, but he was quickly cut off.

"It doesn't matter, she's not important. Remember why we're here." Levi's eyes turned to ice as he glared at his companion.

Farlan gulped under his gaze and nodded in acknowledgement.

Levi looked away,his eyes easily landing on Aubrey. She stood by Kate, quietly talking with a smile on her face. She's always smiling. Levi couldn't wrap his head around it.

"Let's go. There's more training to be done. It's not even afternoon yet."

Isabel and Farlan nodded and followed Levi back into the crowd.

_______________________

The rest of the day passed quickly, full of drills and dummy practice. Erwin had briefly spoken about the upcoming expedition and announced that formation training would begin the following day. Aubrey had groaned. Formation training was her least favorite thing.

Everyone had dispersed to the mess hall for dinner, including the new transfers.

Aubrey spotted Levi in the mess hall as soon as she entered, barely noticing Isabel and Farlan at his side. After getting her tray, her feet moved towards him. She stopped herself. He had yet to see her. She still had time to escape. Aubrey quickly hurried over to her usual table, sitting beside Erwin and putting her head down.

"Is everything alright?" Erwin's voice held a hint of amusement.

"Hm?" Aubrey looked up to see him holding back a smirk. She pouted. Why did he always have to look so smug? "Yes, everything is just fine."

"Good." Aubrey could tell that he was holding back a laugh.

She turned back to her tray, picking up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and shoving them in her mouth.

"Very nice job today, with the competition I mean."

Aubrey swallowed. "Thank you."

Erwin raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm surprised you got him to participate."

Aubrey nodded. "I promised him a favor."

"A favor?" Erwin's interest had been peaked.

"Yes. I told him that a favor from me was quite a sweet deal." Aubrey smiled as she took another bite of food.

"I see." Erwin chuckled a bit. She was right. A favor from Aubrey was a sweet deal. The girl would go to the ends of the earth to repay someone.

"He's looking at you." Erwin's words rang in Aubrey's ears.

"Probably because he despises me." She didn't bother looking over at Levi's table. "In addition to a favor, I may have done quite a bit of begging."

Erwin didn't respond to her. Aubrey looked over to see him holding Levi's gaze, a stern and strong look in his eyes. Levi's were filled with hatred.

"Erwin?" The man didn't answer her. "Erwin." Aubrey gave him a tap on the shoulder and his staring contest ended, his gaze coming back to Aubrey.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Aubrey scoffed. "What did you do to that guy, anyway? Every time he looks at you it seems like he wants to slit your throat."

Erwin didn't reply. Aubrey's brows furrowed. He wasn't going to tell her?

"Earth to Erwin." Aubrey waved a hand in front of his face.

"Yes, he doesn't seem to like me very much."

Aubrey gave him an unamused look. "Fine. Don't tell me." She turned back to her tray, poking at the green beans with her fork. "By the way, I can't make teatime tonight."

This caught Erwin's attention. Aubrey almost never skipped tea unless it was for a very important reason. "Oh, do you have something else going on?"

Aubrey nodded. "Yes. Apparently, Levi over there is a clean freak. He was very... dissatisfied with the state of the gear, so I told him that I would personally bring him some cleaning supplies."

Erwin forced his face to remain serious. The two of them were almost laughable.

"Very well, that's fine." Erwin stood from his seat, his tray nearly untouched.

Aubrey gave him a flabbergasted expression. "You'd better take that food with you to your office or I will shove it in your mouth." Erwin softened at her words. Sometimes she cared too much about others for her own good.

"I will, I will."

"Good." Aubrey returned to her own food, scarfing down the last of her meal.

"And Aubrey?" She looked up at him curiously.

"Be careful around him. You never know a person's true motives." With that, Erwin took his tray and exited the mess hall, leaving Aubrey to look after him in wonder.

_______________________

Knock, knock.

"Come in." Levi's voice rang softly from the other side of the door.

Aubrey had come to the male barracks to deliver the cleaning supplies. Usually, she wouldn't have been allowed inside, but Flagon had made an exception for her. He just didn't want to have to deliver the stuff himself.

Aubrey turned the doorknob and gently pushed, revealing Levi alone in his room. He was sat on his bed, his boots off and neatly placed at his feet.

"What do you want?" Aubrey ignored his rude tone.

"I brought those cleaning supplies that I promised you." Levi's eyes widened a fraction. He'd forgotten about her silly promise. Apparently, the girl remembered everything that she owed anyone. Maybe that favor really would come in handy.

"Fine. Just set them on the desk." Aubrey nodded and made her way across the room, placing the cleaning equipment atop the small wooden desk.

When she'd finished, she stood still. She didn't really want to leave, but she didn't really have any reason to stay. But the question was, why did she want to stay? She'd never felt such a draw to another person before, especially one as blatantly cold and rude as Levi.

"Is there something else you want?" Levi's voice broke through her thoughts.

It was now or never. "I want to talk."

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "Talk?" Aubrey nodded. "About what?"

"About you." Her words were barely more than a whisper. Maybe if she could find out more about him, she could figure out why she was drawn to him. Maybe she could even figure out the reason for those mysterious flames.

Levi was silent. His silver eyes felt like ice as they bore into hers. Every second that he looked at her, her heart beat faster. What was up with this guy?

"Well are you going to start, or are you just going to stand there?"

Aubrey's lips parted in surprise. "O-oh, um..." Aubrey felt blood rush to her cheeks, which only deepened her shock. But this time she was only shocked with herself. Why was she blushing?

"How about... How old are you?" Aubrey blurted the first question that came to mind. She realized her mistake quickly, feeling the heat in her cheeks grow even hotter.

Levi raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on her choice of inquiry. "Eighteen."

Aubrey started to think that surprise was the only feeling she was capable of around Levi. He was younger than he looked. Perhaps it was the permanent frown.

"You?" Levi's voice rang strongly throughout the room.

Aubrey smiled. So he was going to engage in the questioning also. Of course he would, he wouldn't agree to something if he didn't get anything out of it. "I turned sixteen a few months ago."

Levi nodded in response. "How long have you been with the Scouts?"

Aubrey smirked. "Nuh-uh. It's my turn."

Levi grumbled something under his breath, but eventually responded. "Fine. Go."

"Where's Farlan?"

Levi furrowed his eyebrows. "That's your question?" He seemed disappointed.

Aubrey nodded. If she was being honest, she didn't know what to ask.

"If you must know, he went to the showers."

Aubrey nodded.

"My turn." Levi looked her straight in the eyes and she shifted under his gaze. "My earlier question still stands."

Aubrey gave him a shy smile before answering. "I joined the Training Corps when I was twelve and spent three years there. I joined the Scouts right after that, so... I guess I've been here about six months now."

Levi gave no response except the narrowing of his eyes. Aubrey averted her gaze to the ground.

"Okay. Um... How long have you been with Isabel and Farlan?" Aubrey peeked up at him from under her lashes.

"I've known Farlan for about five years, Isabel for about two."

"Oh. That's quite a long time. They must be very important to you."

Levi remained silent, but that gave Aubrey all the answer she needed.

"You seem close with the Commander." Levi looked away from her, suddenly standing and straightening his bed. Was he trying to get her to leave?

"Is that a question?" Aubrey watched as he moved. He was more graceful than anyone she had ever seen.

Levi paused for a moment, but went back to fluffing his pillow. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Aubrey felt her jaw drop to the floor. Her boyfriend? She felt a bubble rising in her throat and a smile forming on her face until she couldn't hold it in any longer. She laughed. Hard. She laughed so hard that her stomach hurt and she had to sit in the desk chair to avoid falling over.

"What's so funny?" Levi's voice held a tinge of anger.

Aubrey looked up at him, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. "My boyfriend?" Another fit of laughter overcame her. Her body shook and she placed her head in her hands. She'd never heard anything more ridiculous in her life. Finally, she settled and took a deep breath, still barely managing to contain her laughter. "To answer your question, no, Erwin is not my boyfriend. He was there for me at a time when I had lost everything. I consider him a very dear friend."

Levi's cheeks held a hint of pink as he averted his gaze. "Fine, whatever."

Aubrey smiled. "Speaking of Erwin, why do you always look like you want to kill him?"

Levi's face hardened and his eyes turned to steel as he thought of the Commander. It took a moment before he answered. "The bastard and I didn't have the most friendly first encounter."

Aubrey frowned. "Yea, Erwin can be a real hardass sometimes. He always achieves his goals, even at the expense of others."

Levi remained silent. The mention of Erwin seemed to have killed his mood.

"Where did you learn to use 3DMG?" Aubrey felt the air in the room shift as soon as the words left her mouth. Levi's eyes sprung up to meet hers, full of distrust and apprehension. Apparently, she'd unintentionally pushed a button.

"Where did you learn to use 3DMG?" Levi's voice was low and cold.

Aubrey stiffened at his question. She wasn't going to tell him that. She'd never told anybody that. Levi was smart enough to know that her skill with the gear far exceeded three years of Training Corps practice. She could lie to him. He would see right through her.

Aubrey kept her mouth shut, staring into Levi's eyes. Neither one of them was going to budge.

"It seems that we have reached a stalemate, Levi." Something about the sound of his name on her tongue caused a spark to light in Aubrey's chest.

Levi looked back at her and opened his mouth to respond, but was loudly interrupted.

The door flung open, a shirtless and wet-haired Farlan entering. Upon seeing Aubrey, Farlan froze, realizing that he'd quite obviously interrupted something and that he was now shirtless in the presence of a woman whom he considered to be his superior.

"Aubrey!" Farlan gulped. The look Levi was giving him told him that he'd be scrubbing the floors later.

"Farlan." Aubrey stared at the new arrival, stony faced. Somehow, his shirtless state could not have been less interesting to her.

"I'm sorry, I seem to have interrupted something." Farlan started to back away, hoping to escape the situation entirely.

"No, no. I was just leaving anyway." Aubrey stood from her chair and made her way to the door, brushing past Farlan on her path. "Before I go, I wanted to let you know that I got Isabel settled in her room." Aubrey nearly smiled as she remembered how excited the girl had been to get a room to herself. Due to the low number of recruits from the last Choosing Ceremony, there were plenty of empty dorms in the barracks. "Men aren't allowed in the female barracks and vise versa. I'm only here due to a special exception." Aubrey paused to take a breath before finishing her statement. "So, if you ever need her, knock on the back door. It leads directly into my room and if I'm there, I'll fetch her for you."

Aubrey took one last glance into the room, seeing Farlan's bewildered expression and Levi's stony one. "Levi."

"Aubrey."

Aubrey gently closed the door behind her.

Farlan stared at Levi, mouth agape.

"What did I say about letting your mouth hang open?" Levi shot his friend a warning glance.

Farlan snapped his jaw shut, his eyes wide. That girl really was something.

Aubrey made her way along the path to her room. Her breathing was erratic and she even stumbled a few times. That boy did things to her that she didn't even know were possible.

Finally, Aubrey made it back to her room, going in through the back door once again. She struggled to change out of her uniform and had to pause several times to catch her breath.

Somehow, she made her way into her pajamas and collapsed on her bed. What a day.

Aubrey closed her eyes, taking deep breaths and trying to slow her heartbeat. Her mind ran over the events of the past hours and she wondered what it all meant. Levi obviously had some sort of natural effect on her and she made a note to be more conscious of when she touched him. That fire could end up being a real problem if she wasn't careful.

But why hadn't he wanted to tell her about the 3DMG? And what did he mean by him and Erwin not having 'the most friendly first encounter'? It was obvious to her that he was hiding something. Then again, so was she. The only issue was whether or not his secret was dangerous. There was no doubt that Levi was a dangerous man, one who could bring her great pain if he wished to.

Aubrey shook her head clear. She had to sleep. Everything was always clearer in the morning.

She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, drifting off into her horror-filled dreams.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Aubrey made her way to the mess hall. It was already nine o'clock, but it was Saturday, so she found a few other people straggling in as well. Aubrey filled a tray and took a seat at her usual table, which was empty. All of her friends had likely risen long ago and begun their day.

Aubrey smiled to herself. She didn't have any plans today, she could do whatever she liked. Immediately, her thoughts drifted to Levi, but she quickly corrected herself. He was probably mad at her for asking about the 3DMG.

Aubrey sighed into her oatmeal. She'd never had to think this hard about her friendships. Usually, if she liked someone, they naturally drifted towards her as well. It was normally so easy. But Levi was a different case. She analyzed every move she made over and over again in her head, ridiculing herself for silly mistakes. It was mentally draining. And yet, she still wanted to be around him.

Aubrey scooped the last of her meal into her mouth. Perhaps she'd go for a walk and then see Erwin. She felt a bit guilty about missing teatime.

Aubrey dumped her tray and headed outside, scanning the empty training field. The summer was in full swing and the grass swayed in the slight breeze. Aubrey closed her eyes and breathed in, smelling the scent of earth and fresh flowers in the air. This world truly was so different from the one she used to know.

Aubrey's eyes slowly opened and she began her leisurely morning walk. There was a path that she was quite familiar with. It led around the grounds and weaved through the hills. There were rarely any people on it during the day and Aubrey was the only one ever out there at night. It served as her distraction on the nights when the nightmares were particularly bad.

Aubrey's feet moved casually across the dirt. For the first time since Levi had showed up, her mind felt clear and not jumbled. The fresh air was doing her good.

Suddenly, a shadow appeared in her path. It was the shadow of a tree, but there was something else. A person. Aubrey looked to her right and saw a man sitting against a tree, his ankles crossed and a book in his hands. Levi. Aubrey's body came alive. It was like every muscle in her was humming. What was it with him? She'd only known him one day and still just the sight of him sent her into a fiery frenzy.

"Levi." Aubrey called out to him.

Levi slowly raised his eyes to meet hers. "Aubrey."

Aubrey remained silent for a moment as she thought of what to say next. "Are you enjoying your day off?" Her voice was calm but her insides were screaming.

"Not really. It's rather dull, actually."

Aubrey's brows furrowed. Dull?

"Where are Isabel and Farlan?" Usually the two followed him everywhere.

"Cleaning." Levi responded nonchalantly.

"Cleaning?" Aubrey's face twisted in confusion.

"Yes, they're cleaning the barracks; they're filthy." Aubrey struggled to comprehend.

"And you're not helping them because..."

"Because it's their punishment."

Aubrey's eyes widened. Was he some sort of tyrannical ruler? "Punishment? For what?"

"They said some things that they shouldn't have."

Aubrey was still confused, but decided that it was probably best to just leave it.

"Oh. I see." Aubrey kicked at the ground with her boot.

"And you?"

Aubrey looked up. "Huh?"

Levi sighed. "Are you enjoying your day off?"

Was he trying to make conversation with her? "Um, yes. I was just going for a walk."

Both of them fell silent. Then, before she could filter her words, she spoke. "Would you like to join me?"

Aubrey inhaled sharply. She couldn't believe she'd just said that. Levi, on the other hand, didn't seem fazed in the slightest. He stood gracefully from his spot on the ground, closing his book and tucking it under his arm. Aubrey watched as he seemed to glide toward her. It was like he was a different species.

"Yes." His voice didn't seem to match his actions, it was cold and monotone.

"Oh, um, okay then."

Aubrey began to walk, feeling Levi's every step beside her. It made her anxious to know that he was so close. But why? Was it because he was the only person here who could actually pose a real threat to her? But Aubrey knew that Levi wouldn't hurt her. He might be gloomy, but he didn't seem aggressive.

"What are you doing today?" Levi's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Huh?" Aubrey flashed him a confused glance.

"I assume that you have plans other than walking."

"Oh, yes. I was planning to go to see Erwin. I kind of ditched him last night."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Ditched him?"

Aubrey internally cringed as she realized the position she'd put herself into. "Um, yes. To go see you." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Levi turned his gaze forward. "I see. Do you go to see him every night?"

Aubrey narrowed her eyes at him. What was he implying?

"Yes, just about. We have tea and I keep him company while he does paperwork."

"And you skipped this tradition to bring me cleaning supplies." It wasn't really a question.

Aubrey shrugged. "I promised you that I would. And after the way Flagon was acting like a baby, it was the least I could do."

Aubrey could swear she saw a twinge of smile on Levi's lips.

"Yes, he is quite immature, isn't he?"

Aubrey laughed. "That's putting it nicely."

Both of them fell silent, but the atmosphere was comfortable. Aubrey didn't feel awkward in the slightest.

They continued to walk along the path until they reached the far edge of the grounds. Aubrey paused, stopping in her tracks as her eyes wandered into the woods.

"Is something wrong?" Levi sounded genuinely concerned, which caused Aubrey to shoot him a reassuring smile.

"Oh, no. It's just..." She bit her lip. Should she really do this? "Can I show you something?"

Levi's face scrunched in confusion. "Show me something?"

Aubrey nodded. "I'll need you to trust me." Slowly, she extended her hand, bracing for the touch of his skin.

Levi's eyes turned steely. Trust was not something he gave easily. And yet, he wanted to go with her, he wanted to see what secret this girl was holding. He took her hand, nearly gasping as the familiar fire spread through his whole arm.

Aubrey smiled. As soon as his hand met hers, she latched on and sprinted into the tree line, pulling Levi behind her.

"Oi, where are we going?!" Levi yelled to her as he stumbled over the uneven earth.

Aubrey only responded with a light giggle, continuing to pull him along.

"Aubrey!" Levi tried again.

"You'll just have to wait and see! You trusted me, remember?!"

Levi didn't know how to respond. It was true. He had trusted her. But why? He hardly knew her. His judgement was clouded around when she was around.

Aubrey dodged and weaved through the trees, following what seemed to be a very lightly trodden path. It was obvious that wherever they were going, it didn't get much traffic.

Suddenly, Aubrey came to an abrupt halt, Levi nearly smashing into her. Aubrey turned on her heel to face him. They were only inches apart.

"Close your eyes."

"What?" Levi furrowed his brows.

"Close them." Aubrey repeated her earlier instruction.

"I don't want to." Levi grumbled at her.

"Well too bad." Aubrey reached her hand up to his face, gently brushing his eyelids closed with her fingertips. The fire exploded on her skin and she gasped as Levi let out a surprised grunt. Touching the face obviously had a stronger effect.

Aubrey slowly lowered her hand, making sure that Levi's eyes stayed closed. To her surprise, they did.

Aubrey nearly giggled. Here she had Levi, the man who punished his friends when they said something he didn't like, under her total control. It was almost laughable.

Aubrey squeezed his hand. "Walk with me."

Levi took a few steps before hesitating. Aubrey instantly picked up on his discomfort. "Don't worry, I'll guide you."

He seemed to relax a bit and Aubrey led him further into the forest. It was only a little ways now.

Levi felt like he was going to explode. The idea of trusting someone he hardly knew and losing his sight was almost too much for him to take.

"Stop." Aubrey's voice rang in his ears. Levi came to a halt and tried to get his bearings. Did he hear water? "Open your eyes."

Levi let out a breath as his eyelids opened. In front of him was one of the beautiful places he'd ever seen. A blue-green pond was laid out across the land, small fish swimming through its waters and gentle ripples covering its surface. It was stunning. The branches of the trees hung over the pond, creating a well shaded dome above it. Levi turned his head to the left to see a small, wooden house. It looked old and weathered, but its construction was sturdy and it seemed intact.

"What is this place?" Levi's voice held a hint of wonder and Aubrey nearly jumped for joy.

"The Captains used to get individual houses off campus, but they abandoned that idea a while back. They wanted to keep everyone in the same spot for the sake of efficiency. So the houses were left behind. There are few more like this in the area, but this one's my favorite."

Levi was stunned into silence.

Aubrey spoke up again. "Do you like it?"

Levi let his eyes roam over the scene in front of him. "It's beautiful."

Aubrey's lips parted to form a huge smile. "Come." Aubrey had yet to let go of his hand and so she gave it a light tug as she walked further towards the pond. Levi followed effortlessly.

Aubrey skimmed along the outside of the pond until she came to a small peninsula. A piece of land jutted out into the water, leaving a small space to and lay where the pond surrounded them. She sat and Levi followed suit, his eyes still wandering about the space. Finally, his gaze landed on Aubrey.

"Do you come here often?" His tone was genuinely curious.

Aubrey nodded. "Yes, nearly every chance I get."

Levi's eyes narrowed as a foul thought crossed his mind. "With Erwin?"

Aubrey shot him an annoyed glance and rolled her eyes. Men were insufferable. "No, not with Erwin. Although he does know that I come here sometimes. Actually, you are the only person I've ever brought." Aubrey's cheeks flushed pink as she realized what she'd just admitted to.

Levi averted his eyes. Now he felt bad for bringing up the blond bastard.

"How did you find it?" He decided to change the subject.

Aubrey's face instantly turned to a frown. "I... don't sleep very well. I was wandering around one night and I came upon this place. I've been coming here ever since."

Levi felt himself frown. He was suddenly concerned for her well-being, though he didn't dare let it show.

"What are you reading?" Aubrey pointed to the book that was still lodged under Levi's arm.

Levi tensed. "Nothing." He tucked the book more firmly into his body, hiding it away.

Aubrey smirked. She'd hit the jackpot. "Oh, come on. Let me see." She reached over to take the book from Levi's arm, but he shifted out of reach.

Aubrey raised an eyebrow. "Levi, what are you reading?"

He scowled at her. "It's none of your damn business."

Aubrey sighed. "Well then I guess I'll just have to take it from you."

Levi scoffed. "I'd like to see you try."

Aubrey's eyebrows shot up. "Is that a challenge?"

He shot her an annoyed glance.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Aubrey was on her feet in a flash as she reached for the book. Levi reacted just in time and sprang away, avoiding her grasp once again.

"What the hell are you doing?" Levi growled at her. She should just leave the damn book alone.

"You're the one who challenged me." Aubrey took a step forward and Levi took a compensatory step back.

"I didn't challenge you to shit."

Aubrey pouted at him as she attempted to move closer. "Well, too late now. I'm getting that book." Aubrey reached for the pages once again, but was halted by Levi's hand on her wrist. His steely eyes met hers as the familiar fire spread through their limbs.

Suddenly, Aubrey wrapped her own hand around Levi's forearm, pushing with enough force to spin him around. While he was still stunned, she kicked his legs out from beneath him and he fell to the ground with a soft thud. The book came loose from his arm and tumbled into the grass nearby.

Aubrey cautiously jumped over him and picked up the novel. Its cover was faded and worn; It looked as if it had been read over a hundred times. Aubrey quickly flipped open the cover, scanning the page for the title of the book.

There, in faded black ink were the words 'Wind in the Hills'. Aubrey frowned. She'd been expecting something a little more juicy. This was a novel that nearly every child read in school. It was considered a classic. There was nothing embarrassing about it.

Suddenly, Aubrey felt a hand tug on her ankle and her balance shifted, causing her to fall to the grass. Before she knew what was happening, an angry Levi was on top of her, his face only inches from her own. Fire ran up and down her whole body.

"Give that back." Levi yanked on the book, which was still held firmly in her hand.

Aubrey couldn't speak, but she managed to loosen her grip as Levi ripped the novel from her fingers.

Levi hesitated for a moment, looking straight into Aubrey's eyes. His breathing was heavy from a mixture of anger, shock, and the fire running up and down his body. But right now, the anger didn't seem to matter. It felt like there was electricity jumping from his skin to Aubrey's and back again. It was almost painful. But he was frozen. He was stuck staring into her eyes as the current held him in place, his book forgotten.

Aubrey didn't dare to move either. The current was just as strong for her. She couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe. All she could do was feel Levi's body on her own, feel the way that the fire crept up and down her skin.

Suddenly, he was gone and so was the fire. Aubrey looked over to see Levi sitting next to her in the grass, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Aubrey sat up slowly, her head spinning and her hands shaking. Levi had his back to her now and it looked like he had his head in his hand. Aubrey felt a twinge of guilt. She shouldn't have taken his book.

That reminded her, she'd had a question about that book.

"Why do you hide that?"

Levi turned to her, an exasperated look on his face. How could she ask about the damn book at a time like this?

"Wind in the Hills. There's nothing embarrassing or unusual about it, it's a literary classic. So why do you hide it?" Aubrey's tone was curious as she inched closer to Levi, awaiting an answer.

His brows furrowed. He didn't like to talk about things like this. They were too personal, too much of a show of weakness. He wouldn't even tell Isabel and Farlan about his past, much less this girl. But, something caused him to speak. "It was my mother's."

Aubrey frowned at his use of the past tense. She continued hesitantly. "Is she?"

Levi nodded solemnly. "She died when I was eight."

Aubrey felt a pang of sympathy in her gut. Maybe it was that feeling that caused her to go on. "My mother died in childbirth. I never met her."

Levi stared at her, wide eyed. She had given him no words of pity, hadn't seen his words as a sign of weakness. The girl had taken the opportunity to reveal a piece of her past that put her in a similar position. Had she done it consciously? Was she trying to put them on the same playing field?

"My father hated me for it. He told me I was the reason she was dead. Made me sleep in the barn."

Levi's mouth popped open.

Aubrey looked at him from the corner of her eye. She couldn't tell why she was still talking. She'd never discussed her childhood with anyone, not even Tika. Why was she so compelled to share with him, to tell him everything?

"Where did you learn to fight like that?" Levi's question was barely above a whisper.

"Huh?" Aubrey turned to look at him.

"Back when you got me on the ground. I've never seen a move like that before. It most definitely wasn't the style that they teach in the Training Corps."

Aubrey averted her gaze and her face grew red. She may have shared about her mother, but she wasn't ready for this. "I developed it myself." She lied through her teeth.

Levi narrowed his eyes. It was obvious that he could see through her words, but he didn't say anything, he only looked away over the water.

Aubrey let out a sigh of relief.

The two of them sat in their little oasis for what could have been hours, enjoying the scenery and each other's company. Occasionally, one of them would strike up a conversation and they would chat for a bit before once again falling into comfortable silence. Aubrey couldn't remember a time when she'd felt more at peace. Levi's presence seemed to both calm and excite her. It was confusing.

Eventually, the sky started to darken and Levi cleared his throat. Aubrey watched as he stood and brushed himself off, making a disgusted face at the smudges of dirt on his pants. He turned back to her. "We should probably be heading back."

Aubrey frowned, but started to get up until she saw Levi's hand extended toward her. Tentatively, she placed her fingers in his as he helped her to her feet. The fire exploded once again. Levi's hand lingered before he finally let go of her.

"Right. Let's go." Levi turned on his heel and began to walk away while Aubrey scuttled after him.

"Levi, wait up!" Aubrey reached out and grabbed his sleeve, causing him to come to a complete stop. "Just because you touched my hand doesn't mean you have to run away."

Levi's eyes widened. It was the first time that either of them had come close to acknowledging the fire out loud.

Aubrey smiled at him. His reaction was priceless. His eyes were the size of saucers and all the color had left his face.

"Okay, let's go. Just remember it's not a race." Aubrey continued walking.

It took him a minute, but eventually Levi followed, slowing his previous pace to match hers.

The two of them walked in silence for a moment, taking one last look around before leaving the pond and its cottage behind.

Finally, Aubrey spoke up. "Levi?"

"Hm?" He responded while keeping his gaze straight ahead.

"We should do something again tomorrow."

Levi turned his head to face her and raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

Aubrey blushed under his scrutiny.

"Well, I was thinking we could do something a little more... physical."

Levi's feet rooted to the spot and he felt his face redden. Was she implying that they should...?

Upon seeing his reaction, Aubrey realized her mistake and started to panic. She waved her hands in front of her. "No, no, no, that's not what I meant!" Her face was as red as a tomato. "I was only thinking that we could do some training or something. You seemed interested in my hand-to-hand combat skills, so I thought that maybe we could do a little sparring!"

Levi looked away from her, trying to hide the embarrassing flush on his cheeks.

"Yeah, fine. Whatever you want to do."

Aubrey gave him a shocked look. Had he just agreed to spend the day with her again?

"Will Isabel and Farlan be joining us then?" Aubrey started to stroll forward once again and Levi followed suit.

Levi scowled at her words. "No."

Aubrey raised an eyebrow at him.

Levi responded to her silent question. "They have more cleaning to do."

Aubrey giggled. Two days of cleaning? They only had a tiny dorm room. Was he going to make them scrub the floors with a toothbrush?

"Alright then, just us." Levi shifted at her words. "What time do you want to meet?"

Levi glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Five-thirty."

Aubrey stumbled over her own feet. "In the morning?"

Levi gave her a stern look. "Is there a problem with that?"

Aubrey gulped. He'd suddenly become quite intimidating. She could see why Isabel and Farlan followed his commands so readily. "Well, no, but, don't you think that's a little early?"

Levi released her from his gaze. "No. I get up that early every morning."

"Morning person, huh?"

Levi looked straight ahead. "Sleep gets in the way of getting things done."

Aubrey scoffed and gave Levi a light punch on the arm. "Oh, come on. Sleep is one of the great joys of life."

Levi's brows furrowed, but he didn't respond.

Aubrey sighed. "Okay, five-thirty it is. But for now, let's go get some dinner, I'm starving!" Aubrey grabbed Levi's hand and sped forward, suddenly impatient with their steady pace.

"Oi! You're the one who wanted to slow down!"

Aubrey replied with a laugh and kept running through the woods, her mind and spirit feeling lighter than they had in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! This story is really cookin' along now and I warn you that it's going to move pretty fast from here in regards to the relationship between Aubrey and Levi. So get ready... Anyway, I'm getting close to the point where I won't have any more pre-written material and I'll be writing from scratch so the updates will come more slowly. In the meantime, please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts! I LOVE hearing from all of you!


	9. Chapter 9

Finally, Levi and Aubrey broke through the treeline and found themselves back on their pathway from the morning. Both of them were out of breath and Aubrey paused for a moment and released Levi's hand, placing her elbows or her knees as she inhaled and exhaled, attempting to ease the tightness in her chest. She wasn't entirely sure if it was due to the running or the reaction that her body had to Levi's prolonged touch.

"Could you have run a little faster?"

Aubrey eyed Levi and stuck her tongue out at his sarcastic comment. "Shut up. I really am hungry. We didn't bring any lunch out there." As if on cue, Aubrey's stomach let out a low rumble. She groaned.

In an instant, Aubrey felt Levi's hand on hers and they were briskly walking back toward the castle.

Aubrey was a bit stunned by the gesture. "Levi?"

He refused to look back to answer and only stared straight ahead as he walked. "You're hungry and you need to eat."

It took her a moment to comprehend his kind gesture, but eventually, Aubrey smiled and squeezed his hand in response. Apparently, he secretly cared.

The two of them entered the castle, Levi's hand never letting go of hers as they made their way through the corridors and to the mess hall. They passed a few other soldiers along the way who all stopped to stare with open mouths at the sight. Levi didn't appear to care.

They entered the mess hall and when Aubrey finally tried to loosen Levi's grip, his hand only tightened. Aubrey gave him a questioning stare, but he only kept walking. Their position was the focus of every soldier in the hall, including Hange and Erwin. Hange was practically bouncing in her seat, but Erwin's face remained cool, his eyes following their every move.

Levi finally let go of her hand when it came time to fill their trays only to snatch it back again as soon as Aubrey had finished filling her plate. His insistence was a bit strange to her, but she honestly didn't mind. The fire passing between their palms was enough energy to last a lifetime.

Levi carted Aubrey away and it was only then that she recognized Isabel and Farlan sitting at a small table by themselves. Both of their gazes were plastered to Levi and Aubrey's connected hands and both of them wore satisfied smiles. Aubrey shot a glance to Erwin and mouthed a silent 'Sorry.' as Levi sat down at the table, pulling her into the seat next to him.

Finally, Levi seemed to release her hand for good as he began to silently eat his meal. Aubrey gave him a puzzled look. He didn't answer and Aubrey pouted at him, picking up her spoon and shoving it into a mound of beans.

"So what did you two do today?" Farlan's voice drew Aubrey's attention from Levi. His face had a smirk on it as he eyed his young leader.

Levi looked at him with a deadly glare. "None of your business."

Aubrey elbowed him in the ribs and Levi sputtered as he tried not to choke on his mouthful of potatoes. "You don't have to be so rude."

Levi grunted and returned his attention to his plate.

Aubrey looked back up to Farlan, intending to answer his question, but paused when she saw the look on his face. His features were a mask of pure shock as his eyes shifted between Levi and Aubrey. Had she done something wrong?

Aubrey decided to ignore his reaction and continued. "We went for a walk." She gave him a gentle smile.

Farlan's eyes finally landed on Aubrey, but his shocked expression still remained. "A walk? All day?"

Aubrey explained further. "Well, we took a long break." Aubrey's eyes shifted over to Levi and Farlan followed her gaze.

"Where did you go?" Isabel broke into the conversation, though her expression was a bit more excited and a little less shocked than Farlan.

Aubrey hesitated for a moment before answering. She didn't really want to tell them about the cottage, but she didn't want to lie either.

Suddenly, Levi answered for her. "I said, it's none of your damn business. Now eat your stupid food."

Aubrey looked at him. Had he sensed her discomfort and tried to change the subject? She caught his eye and gave him a soft smile to which he gave no response.

Isabel and Farlan had returned to their trays immediately as per Levi's instructions.

The four of them ate in silence until Aubrey had finished and stood to return her plate. She'd just begun to stand when Levi reached out and snatched her wrist.

"Where are you going?" His voice was low and harsh.

Aubrey raised an eyebrow. "To put my tray back. Why?"

Levi released her and stood as well. "I'll go with you."

Aubrey's brows furrowed. Why the sudden protectiveness?

Aubrey shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Okay." She didn't see any reason to refuse him, so she decided to let him do as he pleased.

Aubrey turned on her heel and walked over to the tray return, Levi following closely behind her. When she'd completed her task, her eyes scanned the room, finding Erwin giving her a hard stare. His blue eyes were glazed over and his mouth was set in a hard line. He didn't look happy.

Aubrey made to move towards him, but once again felt a grip on her wrist. She turned back to see Levi holding her, his face as cold as stone.

"You're going to see him, aren't you?"

Realization hit Aubrey head on. Was he... jealous? Was that why he'd come with her? Why he'd made her sit at his table?

Aubrey couldn't help but smile at the idea before answering. "I was planning on it. He doesn't look very happy with either you nor me."

Levi scowled. "Who the hell cares how he feels."

Aubrey gave him a disapproving look. "He's my friend, Levi. And if you'd give him a chance, I think you'd realize that he's actually a very great man." Levi scoffed and Aubrey continued. "Why don't we go talk to him together?"

Levi glared at her. "The last thing I want to do is talk to that bastard."

Aubrey sighed dramatically. "Well, then I suppose I'll just have to go all by myself." She shot him a teasing glance.

He exhaled harshly before stomping past, pulling her behind him. "Fine. Whatever. Let's go."

Aubrey chuckled at his reaction and received another glare from Levi. He really was jealous.

They arrived at the Commander's table where Hange was staring in awe as the two men held a vicious staring contest.

Aubrey intervened. "Erwin," The man tore his eyes from Levi's to look at her. "I'm sorry that I missed tea. I'll be sure to come tonight."

Erwin responded in a quiet tone. "It's quite alright. I survived."

Aubrey flashed him a nervous grin. The tension in the air was palpable.

Aubrey felt Levi tense at her side and his hand twitched to touch hers. She glanced at him. His expression was beyond the point of distress.

Aubrey felt the sudden urge to comfort him. Her fingers moved on their own as they wrapped around his and her other hand moved up to brush a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. Levi's eyes widened at her nearness as the fire burned his skin.

Hange bounced out of her seat and squealed at the sight, her eyes large enough to serve as moons. Erwin stared in shock. They'd only known each other for a day and the kid was letting Aubrey touch him? He'd struggled so adamantly against any soldier who had touched him before that Erwin could barely get him to obey a simple command. Yet, here he was, allowing Aubrey to touch him freely and in an almost intimate way. What had they been doing all day?

Erwin's eyes narrowed. Had Levi taken advantage of her? No, that couldn't be. Aubrey was too smart for that. She could see a bad egg coming from a mile away. Plenty of men had thrown themselves at her before and she had gently rejected all of them. So... did that mean that she had genuine feelings for him?

Aubrey measured Erwin's reaction carefully. He seemed to be giving off an expression that he rarely showed, shock.

Aubrey squeezed Levi's hand once again. At least he seemed to have calmed down, or maybe he was paralyzed. He obviously hasn't been expecting her touch.

"Well, we're going to get going, but I'll come by later, Erwin." Aubrey didn't wait for a response before turning away, pulling a staggered Levi behind her.

When they returned to Isabel and Farlan, they found them laughing so hard they were crying. Levi's face immediately turned to a scowl.

"Go back to your rooms. Both of you. Now."

Isabel and Farlan pulled themselves together enough to obey his order and stumbled out of the mess hall, gripping each other for support as they attempted to contain their fits of laughter.

Levi let out a heavy sigh. Aubrey turned to him and smiled

"We should go, too." Aubrey looked directly into his eyes as she spoke.

Levi nodded in agreement. Together, they exited the mess hall, Aubrey shooting one last reassuring glance at Erwin.

Levi didn't let go of Aubrey's hand as they walked, but kept his eyes forward and focused. He seemed as if he was thinking about something far away. A small frown graced his lip.

"They're quite the duo."

Levi was broken from his trance as Aubrey spoke up.

"What are you talking about?" His eyebrows furrowed.

Aubrey smiled. "Isabel and Farlan. They seemed to be quite entertained at dinner."

Levi scowled. "I'll make them clean the outside of the building, too."

Aubrey giggles. "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

Levi grumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

"You know, I have a hunch, Mr..." Aubrey paused. "I just realized I don't know your last name."

Levi's face tensed and his eyes slid over to meet hers. He looked anxious, even distressed. But eventually, his expression relaxed and his gaze returned forward.

"Ackerman. My last name is Ackerman."

Aubrey smiled brightly. She felt as if she had just been let in on a big secret.

"Daremo. My last name is Daremo." Aubrey felt it was only fair that she told him her full name as well.

But Levi's reaction wasn't what she'd been expecting.

"No one? Your last name means 'No one'?"

Aubrey froze, feeling ice run through her veins. "How do you know that?"

Levi paused and sent her a mixed expression of amusement and confusion. "I've dealt with many kinds of people in my life. I know many different dialects and every kind of slang you can think of. If I remember correctly, that language is used in the north, correct?"

Aubrey quickly regained herself. "Um, yes. I grew up there." Aubrey continued walking and Levi followed casually, though his interest was piqued.

"So, your last name is really 'Daremo'?" Levi pressed her a bit further.

Aubrey nodded her head, hoping that he would be appeased with simple confirmation.

"What's your real last name?" Levi stopped abruptly, yanking on Aubrey's hand and causing her to halt next to him.

Aubrey felt panic bubble up inside of her. She'd never been confronted so directly. She knew it had been stupid to pick a symbolic name, someone would figure it out eventually. And of course it would be Levi.

But, more importantly, should she tell him the truth? It would be more than she had ever told anyone before, but that seemed to be a common occurrence with Levi. Aubrey looked into his gaze. He stared straight back at her, but his eyes were not intimidating. They were a curious blue-silver and they glinted in the dying light. Aubrey could see no malice, no ill-intent. His eyes were trusting. His expression may have been hard and intense, but he was telling her to trust him.

"Hilmar." Aubrey stayed still, awaiting his response.

Suddenly, he stepped closer. "And why do you use a fake name?"

Aubrey gulped but felt an endless amount of relief explode within her. For the time being, Levi didn't recognize her family name and her secrets would be safe for a little while longer. "My family is not one that I wish to be associated with. When I left them, I abandoned their name."

Levi raised his eyebrows. That was not the answer he had been expecting.

"You haven't had an easy life, have you?" Levi stared intently into Aubrey's eyes.

"I suspect that you haven't either." Aubrey stood still, feeling the heat from his body radiate toward her.

Both of them fell silent, unsure of what to do next as they looked at one another. The air grew thick with tension and Aubrey's breathing grew heavier. She silently scolded herself for allowing anyone to have such an affect on her. But with Levi, she couldn't help it.

Finally, she pulled herself together.

"I should go." Aubrey turned her head to the side and stepped back.

Levi's face instantly scrunched into a scowl and Aubrey chuckled.

"I can't keep Erwin waiting forever."

Levi let out an adorable huff of air and Aubrey couldn't help but laugh a little louder.

"Oh, lighten up will ya? You're going to see me at the buttcrack of dawn, so you don't have to whine so much."

Levi started to pull away in annoyance, but Aubrey quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him closer. 

The air grew still once again as the fire jumped between their bodies. They were close. Very close.

Aubrey could see her own eyes reflected in Levi's silver ones and before she could stop herself, she had reached up in one swift motion and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight, Levi." Aubrey turned instantly and walked back towards the castle. She was too afraid to look back at his reaction.

___________________________________

Aubrey strode quickly through the castle on her way to see Erwin. Her encounter with Levi still had her shaken up. In fact, she'd practically arrived at Erwin's office before she realized that she'd forgotten to get the actual tea.

After a quick detour back to the kitchens, Aubrey found herself outside of Erwin's door with her hand raised to knock. But for the first time ever, she hesitated. Why? Was it because of his judgemental looks at dinner?

Erwin had never been unkind to her before and she knew better than to expect that from him now. But he didn't seem to like Levi. And Levi didn't seem to like him. There was most definitely more information than either of them was telling her. She needed the whole story.

Finally, Aubrey's hand moved and three knocks rang out.

"Come in, Aubrey."

Aubrey gently pushed the door open and walked in, setting the tray of tea on the coffee table.

"You're earlier than I thought you would be." Erwin spoke softly.

Aubrey raised her eyebrows. "Oh? I'm here at our usual time, aren't I?"

Erwin's eyes narrowed. "I suppose. I just thought that Levi would keep you a bit longer is all."

Aubrey felt confusion and then a rush of anger come over her at his words. She couldn't believe the sentence that had just come out of his mouth.. "Are you implying something, Commander?"

Erwin stiffened on instinct. Aubrey only ever called him Commander when she was mad.

"No, not at all. I'm sorry if I offended you."

Aubrey eyed him and then sighed. She'd overreacted. Besides, she'd been looking forward to tea time and being angry would only ruin the experience.

Aubrey took a pause before changing the subject and moving on to a topic that interested her far more. "You two really take jabs at each other. It's almost like there's something you aren't telling me." She shot him a loaded glare and Erwin averted his gaze.

He cleared his throat nervously. "I guess we just don't get along."

Aubrey huffed and moved to pour the tea. She didn't have the patience to argue with him right now.

"Here." Aubrey handed Erwin a steaming cup. He smiled and took it gratefully, relieved that she seemed to have given up on their earlier discussion.

"So, what did you do today?" Erwin turned his attention back to the paperwork in front of him.

Aubrey took a sip of her tea. "I went to the cabin."

Erwin raised his eyebrows.

"All day?"

A faint smile grazed Aubrey's lips. "Yes."

Erwin's brows furrowed. He never understood her ability to simply sit in one place for so long.

"Well, you look more rested than usual. I'm glad you took a break."

Aubrey frowned. Erwin often commented on the bags under her eyes and her wan complexion. He didn't know about the nightmares, but he could easily notice her lack of sleep. It was nice to know that someone cared, but her restless nights were the last thing Aubrey wanted to talk about.

Aubrey only nodded in response to his words, not bothering to elaborate any further.

"And you? What did you do all day?" Aubrey casually attempted to change the subject.

Erwin gestured to the large stack of papers in front of him. "This."

Aubrey let out a soft chuckle. "Being Commander certainly has its downfalls, doesn't it?"

Erwin released a sigh. "Yes. Yes it does."

"How do the troops look for the upcoming expedition?" Aubrey swirled her tea cup.

Erwin frowned. "Unfortunately, no better than usual."

Aubrey nodded solemnly. She'd figured as much.

"Why won't you accept my offer, Aubrey?"

Aubrey tensed, the sudden change of subject throwing her off. "You know why, Erwin."

"Lives would be saved, not ended, Aubrey. You would be a wonderful captain. You have skills far beyond Flagon and even Saru. Soldiers under your command would be safer than any others. And most importantly, I know that I can trust you."

Aubrey's eyes grew dark and she shook her head determinedly.

"No, Erwin. I can't. If something went wrong, if I lost them... I'd never be able to forgive myself. I failed as a protector once, I can't do it again."

Erwin visibly flinched at the mention of Aubrey's former friends. He knew that she'd never gotten over their deaths.

Neither of them spoke. Both were unsure of how to continue. Finally, Aubrey spoke up.

"I should go." She drained the remaining tea in her cup and set it back on the tray. "Shall I take yours?" Aubrey pointed to Erwin's practically full cup.

He shook his head. "No, I'll keep it."

Aubrey nodded. "Okay. Goodnight, Erwin." She walked to the door, taking the tea tray with her.

"Goodnight, Aubrey."

Aubrey gave Erwin one last smile before leaving.

———————————————

After returning the dishes to the kitchen, Aubrey made her way back to the barracks and slid into bed.

She groaned as she thought about having to get up so early. She didn't have a roommate to wake her, so she'd probably be late, as per usual.

Slowly, Aubrey closed her eyes. She had to admit that she hadn't felt this tired in a long time. Apparently, emotions exhausted her more than physical activity.

After a few minutes of shifting around, she fell into a deeper sleep than she'd gotten in a long time.


	10. Chapter 10

Aubrey awoke feeling confused, but rested. She put a hand to her head as her mind ran through the events of the previous night. Levi, Erwin, but more surprisingly, her sleep. Her nightmare hadn't been as bad.

It was still there, but for some reason it hadn't seemed as vivid, hadn't left her screaming in the middle of the night.

For the first time in months, she felt like she'd actually slept.

Suddenly, Aubrey remembered her plans from yesterday. Light was already starting to stream in through her window, so there was no doubt that she was late. Very late.

"Shit!"

Aubrey scrambled out of bed, frantically pulling on a set of casual training clothes and running out the door.

She hurried down the path, sprinting toward the training field. As she rounded the corner, Aubrey saw what she was sure was Levi's silhouette standing in the field, his hands resting easily in his pockets.

"Aw, man." Aubrey murmured to herself as she ran closer. Levi didn't seem like the type to tolerate tardiness.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I overslept and I, um, I-"

Aubrey paused for a moment. She let out a long sigh, realizing that no excuse would change her situation.

She looked over to see Levi giving her a look she could only describe as disinterested.

"It's fine."

Aubrey's eyebrows scrunched together. She hadn't expected Levi to be so... understanding.

"It is?"

Levi averted his gaze to the horizon where a now not-so-subtle orange glow was rising.

"I expected you'd be late. You don't seem to be very... prompt."

Aubrey stuck out her lip in a pout. "Hey! What's that supposed to mea-"

Aubrey was cut off by the sight of something being thrown towards her chest.

She caught it easily and turned the small object around in her hands. It was a meal bar, one of the rations that the Scouts used outside the walls.

"So I brought you breakfast."

Aubrey stood still in shock. He'd brought her breakfast?

Ever so slowly, she came back to her senses, continuing to turn the ration bar over in her hands. It was so rare that anyone would do anything for her.

Aubrey had grown accustomed to a life in which she did everything herself. It was rare that she allowed anyone to do anything for her. Her childhood hadn't exactly been a piece of cake and after joining the military, responsibility had been expected. Nobody had ever brought her breakfast.

A smile made its way across her face as she eagerly skipped her way over to Levi's side and wrapped an arm around him. He froze under her touch. The fire was pulsating.

"Thank you." Aubrey's voice was low and sincere.

Levi managed to pull himself together in time to respond. "It's just a stupid ration bar."

Aubrey looked into his steely eyes and responded quietly. "I know."

The two of them were silent for a moment before Levi eventually pulled away and out of Aubrey's grasp. His skin was still burning from where her skin had met his. "Eat."

Aubrey gave him a confused look before finally realizing that she hadn't moved to unwrap the food in her hands.

"Oh, right."

Aubrey plopped onto the ground and hastily unwrapped the bar. She took a hasty bite and the familiar bland flavor filled her mouth. She didn't really mind, though. Knowing that Levi had brought it for her made the thing taste a thousand times better.

A small smile crossed Aubrey's lips as she chewed and Levi shot her a questioning glance.

"Don't tell me you actually enjoy those things. They're practically rancid."

Aubrey ignored his statement. "Ya know, I have a hunch." She spoke between bites.

Levi raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to her. "About?"

Aubrey swallowed and smiled once again. "You."

Levi glared at her. "Spit it out, Aubrey."

The sound of her name on his lips caused Aubrey's heart to spike, but she quickly reigned herself in. She stood easily, brushing herself off and quickly closing the small space between herself and Levi. She spoke clearly as she looked him straight in the eyes. "I have a hunch that you're really just a big sweetheart."

Levi's eyes widened a fraction and Aubrey could see a tinge of pink in his cheeks.

"What?"

Aubrey giggled at his reaction. "You're just a big softy. You care far more than you let on."

Levi scoffed. "All I did was bring you a stupid ration bar. They taste like shit, anyway."

Aubrey's smile faded and she came even closer to Levi than she had been before. They were now only inches apart and Levi could feel her breath on his neck.

"Thank you. Nobody's ever brought me breakfast before."

Before Levi was able to respond, Aubrey had turned and walked a few paces away.

"Now, I believe I promised you a combat lesson?"

Levi was left reeling as he looked after her.

"Lesson? Who said I wanted a lesson?"

Aubrey giggled. "Oh, is that not what you were expecting?"

Levi cocked an eyebrow. "You're a bit over-confident."

"Oh?" Aubrey smiled playfully and took a fighting stance. "Then please, bring me back down to earth."

Levi couldn't help but let a small smile grace his own lips as he mirrored her position. His hands raised to protect his face and his feet spread out to give him balance. Levi had never met an opponent that he couldn't take down. Though Aubrey made him nervous. They hadn't really fought, but she had gotten him on the ground in an instant yesterday. He'd never seen anyone move that way before. It was like she'd been born fighting, like every movement was second nature. It had him worried.

"Ready?" Aubrey bounced back and forth as she smirked.

Levi scoffed. "Tch. Are you?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

Suddenly, Aubrey was moving and Levi had to use all of his concentration just to block her first blow. She'd gone straight for his face with a right hook. He'd just barely raised his arm in time to block. She was quick. Very quick. Perhaps this was going to be even more of a challenge than he had expected.

Levi barely had time to recover before another blow was sent his way, this time a jab at his stomach. He dodged just in time, but found himself unable to counter-attack, as he was already moving out of the way of a sweep at his legs.

Finally, the two of them fell into a rhythm and Levi was able to begin fighting back. Their blows were equally matched. Levi was stronger, but Aubrey was quicker and neither of them were able to land any real hits. But for some reason, Levi had the feeling that she was holding back. The move she had displayed yesterday had been a different style, it had a different flow. Right now, Aubrey was only engaging in the standard form of hand-to-hand combat that the military taught. Her skill was still impeccable, but Levi knew that she had more.

Eventually, he grew tired of their endless game of back and forth. With a final push, Levi grabbed Aubrey's fist out of the air and twirled her around, pressing her own arm up and against her back and leaving her immobile.

"I win." Levi leaned down to whisper in Aubrey's ear.

Aubrey let out a small smile. "Fine, fine. You win."

Levi released her, but didn't let her walk far before speaking again. "But we have to go again. You were holding back."

Something flickered across Aubrey's features, but Levi was unable to decode it. Was it panic? Fear? Nervousness?

"You beat me fair and square. I wasn't holding back." Aubrey's gaze shifted to the ground and her muscles grew tense.

"Maybe you fought me fairly like this, but there's a whole other side of you. Your movements just now were standard, perfected replicas of what the military teaches. But that's not what I saw yesterday. In fact, I believe you told me that you developed your fighting style yourself. Where was that just now?"

Aubrey's face was now a solid expression of confusion. She hadn't expected Levi to even remember their little squabble from yesterday, much less read so far into it. If she wasn't careful, she would slip up. She had to calculate her next words carefully.

"I don't know what you mean. I fight how I was taught to fight. No more, no less." Aubrey shifted her gaze around, looking anywhere but at Levi.

His eyes narrowed. She was lying and he knew it. She was terrible at hiding things. But Levi decided to just drop the subject. He wasn't the type to pry, though he had to admit that he was curious.

"Fine. Let's go again."

"Sure." Aubrey's voice had grown soft and unsure, but she resumed a fighting stance.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to Levi. If Aubrey wasn't going to tell him the truth, he would just have to force it out of her. He was sure that he could overpower her in standard combat. She was skilled, but she simply wasn't strong enough to defeat him. If he could push her hard enough, perhaps she would let a bit of her true talent show.

Without warning, Levi moved forward and began the fight. Aubrey still seemed to be reeling from his earlier interrogation and it took a split second too long to react. Her arm came up to block his blow, but her footing was wrong and the force knocked her off balance. She caught herself before falling, but she failed to dodge Levi's blow to her side. The punch sent a pulsing fire through her side and she gasped. It had been a long time since anyone had been able to hit her. Aubrey smiled to herself. It seemed that Levi wasn't holding back this time.

Aubrey struck back, only to have her punch blocked easily and pushed to the side. She'd lost some of her strength and balance due to Levi's earlier blow and now she was at a disadvantage. It was highly likely that this fight would end in another loss unless she did something different.

Levi's punches were coming in flurries now and it was all Aubrey could do to keep from getting hit. One after another, she was forced to dodge and block.

Suddenly, one of Levi's fists found an opening and Aubrey was left with little defense against a blow headed straight for her face. Before she could realize what she was doing, her instincts took over. Years of training and muscle memory guided her to push his fist to the side and grab his forearm. Aubrey pulled him closer and twisted, causing Levi to let out a grunt and fall to his knees as his arm bent in a nearly unnatural way.

The fight was over. But Aubrey hadn't really won. Realizing what she'd done, Aubrey immediately released Levi and took a step back, covering her mouth with her palm as an expression of shock. She'd revealed that fighting style to him twice now. How could she have let this happen? That style was dangerous, forbidden, taboo. She had vowed only to use it when absolutely necessary. Levi was no danger to her. Sure, the blow would've hurt, but she could've shaken it off easily. Did she really have such little self-control?

A soft chuckle escaped Levi's lips. Aubrey stared at him. He was laughing?

"So you were holding back. I knew you had more hidden in there somewhere, you just needed a little incentive."

Aubrey's expression was one of confusion, but as his words set in, her face fell stone cold and expressionless.

"You were trying to provoke me?"

Levi's smile dropped to mirror Aubrey's expression.

"Yes."

"Why?" Aubrey's brows scrunched together.

Levi felt something in the pit of his stomach that he didn't quite recognize. Was it worry? Guilt?

"Because I want to know why you're hiding your strength."

Aubrey remained silent for a moment before replying.

"Because some things are better left hidden."

Levi didn't know how to respond. He had a feeling they weren't just talking about fighting styles anymore.

"I think we should be done for the day."

Levi felt the twinge in his stomach grow stronger. It was most definitely guilt. But now a new feeling was entering his consciousness. He felt dread. He hadn't meant to upset her. And now she was going to leave. That was something he most certainly did not want.

"So? What do you wanna do now?"

Levi looked up in surprise. Aubrey's stone cold expression had dropped and now a more lighthearted and bubbly one had taken its place.

"You're not angry with me?"

Confusion once again overtook Aubrey's features. She wasn't angry at him. She was more angry at herself for not being able to control her actions.

"Should I be?"

Levi felt his own face contort.

"I don't know."

Both of them fell silent once again. Apparently, neither of them really knew how to handle this kind of situation.

Aubrey shuffled her feet nervously while racking her brain for any ideas of how else they could spend their afternoon. Looking around, Aubrey saw the sun high in the sky and the breeze shaking the leaves of the trees.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to her. Levi said that he'd liked the cabin, so maybe he'd like to go back. But Aubrey wanted to add a special touch this time.

"Come with me." Aubrey swiftly moved over to take Levi's hand and began dragging him along behind her.

It was still early, but breakfast in the mess hall would have been done over an hour ago. The area would be clear to check out.

"Where are we going?"

"Just follow me." Aubrey replied with a giggle as she hauled Levi across the training field.

It only took a few minutes to arrive at the mess hall; the Survey Corps campus was quite small and compact.

"The Mess Hall? Why are we here?" Levi's voice rang through the empty room with a tone of confusion.

Aubrey giggled again but didn't respond. Instead, she hauled Levi through the twists and turns of the tables that scattered the Mess Hall and led him to the back of the room where they went through the large doors that served as the entrance to the kitchen.

"Aubrey?" Levi said her name as a question, wondering what had brought them to the kitchen.

"We're going to make a picnic." Aubrey turned to face him as she answered and a smug look fell upon her face.

Levi arched an eyebrow. "A picnic?"

Aubrey nodded.

Levi cleared his throat uncomfortably."Um... I'm afraid that I'm not a very good cook."

Aubrey's laugh echoed off of the walls of the room. "Don't worry about that. I'll teach you."

Levi's expression flickered to surprise for a fraction of a second before he regained his composure. He hadn't been expecting this development at all. She was going to teach him how to cook? They were going on a picnic? It suddenly occurred to Levi that these activities were entirely out of character for him. Once again, this girl had had a mysterious effect on him.

Before Levi could say anything in response, Aubrey was bustling about the kitchen, starting a fire in the stove and finding several ingredients to prepare their meal.

Levi watched with fascination. It wasn't that he'd expected Aubrey to be useless in the kitchen, even he had the skills to put together a decent meal, but she moved like a master. She used a knife like it was an extension of her body and her movements were swift and efficient.

"Who taught you to cook?" Levi asked the question in a casual manner but soon realized that he may have made a mistake. Aubrey's face scrunched into a mixture of pain and discomfort but she still answered.

"My father taught me." Her lips pressed together in a tight line as she continued her tasks. Levi quickly sensed that he shouldn't press the subject further but dozens of questions flashed through his mind. Why did she look so pained at the thought of her father? Who was her father? Where had this girl come from?

"I see." Levi ended that conversation quickly and diverted to a different topic. "What are we making?'

Aubrey's mood seemed to lighten instantly and a tightness released in Levi's chest that he hadn't even realized was there.

"I was thinking sandwiches?" Aubrey turned to Levi for approval and he was surprised when the words, "Whatever you want." came out of his mouth. He really didn't care what they ate but something about his instantaneous answer made him uneasy.

However, Aubrey didn't seem to notice and she simply smiled while returning to her work.

"Are you just going to stand there or do you plan on helping?" Aubrey spoke smugly.

Levi quickly returned to his senses. "Tch. What do you want me to do?"

Aubrey answered him without turning away from the stove, where she appeared to be cooking some form of delicious smelling meat. "Why don't you cut the bread and then slice some vegetables."

Levi nodded. He could do that. He was glad to find out that Aubrey wasn't going to expect too much from him.

Levi scoured the kitchen until he found a pantry containing a loaf of bread along with various vegetables that looked like they'd been picked from the garden just that morning..

When he returned to the kitchen, he saw Aubrey artfully shuffling between cooking the meat on the stove with cutting some small blocks of cheese and packing some grapes into a basket. She really did know her way around the kitchen.

Levi scanned the counters and eventually came across a knife and a wooden cutting board, which he used to slice the vegetables. He couldn't help but notice that in comparison to Aubrey, his skills were atrocious. Careful not to cut himself, Levi finished his slicing duties and swiftly turned back to Aubrey, silently watching her work. She was nearly done with her part as well and had moved on to assembling the sandwiches. She walked over to examine his work.

"A very valiant effort, Mr. Ackerman."

Levi gave a small scowl and Aubrey simply laughed in return. She was coming to appreciate his responses to her teasing.

Aubrey gathered the somewhat unevenly sliced vegetables and began layering them onto the bread that she had sliced while Levi wasn't looking.

As she worked, Aubrey was painfully aware of a set of eyes that were intently analyzing her every move. The thought of Levi's gaze sent an unexpected shiver up her spine and she attempted to take a silent breath to calm herself. If just a solid stare was doing this much to her, she shuddered to think what would happen if something more tangible occurred...

Eventually, the sandwiches were done and Aubrey loaded them into the basket along with the rest of the food she had packed. It certainly wasn't anything special, but it would be perfect for their afternoon outing.

Grabbing the basket with one hand and grasping Levi's fingers with the other, Aubrey headed out of the kitchens. The ever-familiar fire tingled on Aubrey's palm and she felt a pang deep within her stomach. She did her best to ignore it. Perhaps she was just hungry?

As they continued to walk through the corridors of the castle, Aubrey suddenly felt Levi's hand slip from her own and the weight of the basket being emptied from her grasp. Looking over, she found that Levi had silently taken the basket from her and was now carrying it on his own.

Aubrey arched an eyebrow at him. "I'm perfectly capable of carrying a picnic basket on my own, you know."

Levi jutted out his chin as he continued walking. "Tch. Whatever. You did the cooking so figured I would do the carrying."

Aubrey giggled at him and replied. "That's very sweet of you. Thanks."

Levi huffed indifferently and stared straight ahead. Aubrey chuckled again internally. His awkwardness when showing kindness was endearing.

Aubrey stretched and relaxed her hand. The absence of Levi's touch had left her reflecting on the disappearance of the fire. It really was mysterious. It hadn't taken Aubrey long to figure out its meaning, but there was a part of her that wanted to remain ignorant. Things were moving awfully fast. She'd never taken a liking to someone so quickly before and she'd definitely never liked anyone in this way before.

Aubrey gave her head a small shake to clear her thoughts. She couldn't afford to be thinking about such things right now or her face would turn the color of a tomato.

Without warning, Aubrey felt the fire ripple through her fingertips once again as Levi silently slid his hand back into hers. Aubrey didn't bother to acknowledge his actions other than to interlock her fingers with his. She was glad that the fire had returned, suddenly realizing that she was coming to enjoy its tingling sensation. Its flames were no longer so shocking and startling, but were instead becoming more of a dull warmth that spread across her skin.

The two of them continued to walk across the grounds, receiving a few passing stares from other soldiers out and about on their days off. Eventually, they came across the same path as they had travelled the day before and quickly headed toward the treeline. Aubrey pulled Levi through the forest a bit too excitedly but he didn't seem to mind all that much.

Finally, they arrived once again at the pond and Levi stood in awe for a second time. Something about the atmosphere of the place was truly breathtaking. Aubrey gently pulled Levi back over to the small peninsula that they had sat on the day before and took the basket from his hand. She gracefully set it on the ground and pulled out a blanket, spreading it across the ground. Levi briefly wondered where she'd found a blanket in the kitchens but decided that it wasn't worth asking.

Carefully, Aubrey removed the food from the basket and created a spread of sandwiches alongside several variations of fruits.

"Ta da!" Aubrey gave him her signature smile as she presented the meal to him.

Levi gave a small huff of laughter and took a seat on the blanket across from her. "Looks good... Thanks."

Aubrey chuckled again before speaking. "You're very welcome."

Both of them settled in and picked at the food, taking small bites here and there. The silence was comfortable. Aubrey watched as the fish swirled in the pond and Levi watched Aubrey discreetly. 

Finally, Aubrey broke the calm. "So, what should we talk about?"

Levi shot her a quizzical glance.

Aubrey shrugged her shoulders as she spoke. "Don't get me wrong, I enjoy staring at you, too, but we might as well add some conversation to the mix."

A furious and obvious blush spread across Levi's cheeks and turned his head to the side as he realized that his gaze may not have been as secretive as he'd thought.

Aubrey laughed at his reaction to her words. Usually, she wasn't so forward, but she just couldn't help herself.

"You're blushing..." Aubrey leaned across the blanket and raised a hand to Levi's face, poking his red cheeks.

The fire exploded throughout her arm and she froze almost instantly. What she had intended to be a playful touch had left her heart racing and her mind reeling. She'd forgotten that touches on the face seemed to elicit a stronger reaction.

Levi's blush had faded and he was now left with widened eyes and a quickened pulse. He'd felt the flames, too.

"Oh my. That was different, wasn't it..." Aubrey murmured the words as more of a statement rather than a question.

Aubrey began to draw her hand back from Levi's face but didn't get very far. Levi snatched her wrist and held it. He wasn't exactly sure what he wanted her to do but he knew that he didn't want her getting any further away.

Aubrey seemed to understand his thoughts and inched herself closer to him on the blanket, finding a more comfortable position where they sat legs crossed and facing each other, their knees touching.

Ever so gently, Aubrey wrapped her own trapped hand around Levi's wrist, giving him a light squeeze to signify that she wasn't letting go. Carefully, she maneuvered Levi's hand down and into her lap, his palm facing upward.

Levi watched her intently but didn't resist. He was deciding to trust her once again, against his better judgement.

Aubrey's attention was still focused on Levi's hand in her lap, which was currently tense beyond belief and balled up in the shape of a fist. Aubrey internally giggled at his discomfort at being touched. She had a feeling that he wasn't very used to it.

Calmly, Aubrey began to tug Levi's fingers one by one as they relaxed to form an open hand. She stared at his hand for a moment, examining its features. Levi had calluses on just about every finger and his skin seemed rough. They were definitely not the hands of a man who had known privilege all his life, but Aubrey didn't think much of it, considering her hands were the same.

Aubrey examined the lines and cracks in Levi's palm, suddenly feeling the urge to trace them with her own fingers.

Aubrey raised her hand and placed it on Levi's palm, copying the creases in his hand with tenderness. The fire jumped between their skin and Aubrey had to consciously slow her breathing to avoid hyperventilation.

Levi was having the same problem. His heart was racing and he internally reprimanded himself. He shouldn't have let this girl make him so... excited.

Levi watched with anticipation as Aubrey traced the lines in his palm with the delicacy of a feather. He'd never been in a situation like this before and he had to admit that he felt awkward. He didn't know how to react to such a display of tenderness and so he ended up speaking to break the silence.

"We should continue our game." The words rang through the air and Aubrey's hand pulled away from Levi's as a confused look crossed her face. Levi panicked internally. He hadn't wanted to push her away, only save himself from his own discomfort.

"Game?" Aubrey looked at him, her eyebrows raising in a question.

Levi nodded briskly and averted his gaze. "The one from the other night in the barracks. The questions."

A look of recognition replaced Aubrey's confusion and she nodded. "Ah, that one! Have more questions for me, do you now?"

Levi jutted out his chin. "Tch. Whatever. You're the one who wanted something to talk about."

Aubrey giggled and thought to herself. She could easily see how most people would be intimidated by Levi's stand-offish actions and rude words, but she could see right through them. She knew that on the inside, he wasn't quite as cold as he seemed. His continuous blushing had proved that.

"Well alright then. I believe last time we were at a stalemate when we ended, but I'll be nice and let you ask first." Aubrey absentmindedly returned to tracing the creases in Levi's palm and the flames followed instantly.

Levi felt a small part of him relax as Aubrey continued to hold his hand. The fire was certainly distracting, but being without it was even more so. Her touch was becoming a drug.

"Fine." Levi did his best to pull his thoughts together. Between Aubrey's touch and his newfound trusting behavior, he was finding it hard to focus. In fact, he wasn't even sure what he really wanted to ask. He'd just blurted it out earlier as a distraction from his own thoughts.

Finally, something came to mind. "Why do you trust me?" Levi kept his tone fairly emotionless. In their previous conversations, questions about the past had only caused them to end their talks with tension. Levi had decided that he would do his best to keep his questions in the present.

Aubrey didn't hesitate to answer him. "I'm not sure that I do." Levi raised a quizzical brow at her response but Aubrey continued. "But I think that I would like to."

"Why?" Levi's voice held a bit more curiosity. He was invested in her response.

Aubrey stopped tracing Levi's palm for an instant and instead used her middle finger and thumb to give him a flick on the wrist. Levi gave a small jerk in response.

"Uh-uh. You're bad at this game. You only get one question at a time. Wait your turn."

Levi stared at her. Her expression was teasing.

"Tch. Ask, then."

"Right." Aubrey looked up at the sky as she searched for a question and returned to drawing on Levi's palm. This time, she didn't follow the creases of his skin, she simply doodled over his hand. After a moment of thinking, Aubrey spoke up. "Why do you trust me?"

Levi scoffed. "Shooting it right back at me, huh?"

Aubrey shrugged her shoulders. "It's a valid question."

Levi sighed. "Well I'm afraid that my answer is identical to yours. I'm not sure that I really do trust you, but for some reason, I feel stupidly compelled to."

Aubrey couldn't hold back the small smile that graced her lips and Levi noticed.

Aubrey continued. "Well I'm honored. You don't seem like the type to trust easily."

Levi's eyes flashed in the light. "I'm not."

Aubrey nodded her head in acknowledgement, awaiting Levi's next question.

"Answer my question from before. Why do you want to trust me?" Levi's question shifted the air. He was getting dangerously close to a topic that Aubrey wasn't sure she was ready to discuss.

Aubrey's head reeled. All this talk of trust was getting confusing. She weighed her options carefully, deciding whether or not to dodge the question.

Finally, she let out a sigh and stared down at Levi's hand, halting her strokes. "Because I like you."

Aubrey glanced up to gauge Levi's reaction and was surprised to find that his features held no hint of shock. In fact, his expression was rather stony and his steely eyes held an intimidating seriousness.

"Well before we go in circles again, I'll just tell you that I like you, too." Saying the words himself seemed to cause Levi some discomfort and he averted his gaze as a pink tinge rose in his cheeks.

Aubrey gave a bigger smile than she had in a long time. She hadn't realized just how happy hearing those words would make her and her heart fluttered in her chest as she spoke again. "Well I'm glad we sorted that out."


	11. Chapter 11

Levi nodded curtly as he used his free hand to pull at some grass. He felt vulnerable for the first time in years and he was having a hard time processing it. This girl that he had known for less than three days had managed to get him to confess feelings for her with just the slightest nudge. And he had done it so willingly. He was nearly disgusted with himself. This kind of behavior was unacceptable for him and yet, he couldn't seem to find the motivation to stop.

"Any more questions?" Aubrey glanced at him from underneath her eyelashes.

"Yes, actually."

Aubrey was a bit surprised by Levi's response. She'd thought that their conversation had already reached its peak. There wasn't really anything they could discuss that would be quite as exhilarating.

"Why did you join the Scouts?"

Aubrey blinked at his question and took a moment before answering. She wracked her brain for an elegant way of stating her answer before simply blurting out her thoughts. "I did it to be free." Aubrey laughed at her own answer before continuing her explanation. Her eyes shifted across the ground as she felt her mood darken to match the words she was about to speak. "My childhood was not what you would call ideal and so, when I was twelve, I ran away to join the military." Aubrey shook her head. "I don't know why I thought that strict schedules and drill sergeants equated to freedom but I had nowhere else to go and I knew that I would be a good soldier." Levi eyed her but remained silent as Aubrey continued. "After joining, it didn't take me long to decide what regiment I wanted to join. I became obsessed with the outside. The idea of going beyond the walls became all-consuming. I'd lived a confined life, even more so than most, and all I wanted to do was see an open horizon, one with no wall to block my view."

Aubrey peeked up at Levi and a blush rose to her cheeks. She realized that her words were foolish, obviously those of a daydreaming child. She quickly continued, hoping to escape judgment. "And while the concept of freedom is what led me to join the Scouts, it is no longer why I stay with the Scouts." Aubrey paused again, trying to put her thoughts into words. "Now I'm here because I have to be."

Levi furrowed his brows. "You mean you have a contract or some shit?"

Aubrey released a small laugh and the sound echoed off the trees around them. "No, no. Nothing like that... You see, this regiment, as odd as it sounds, is my family. I have no blood relations and outside of these headquarters, there is no one within the walls who gives a damn about my happiness."

Levi shifted uncomfortably. "So you stay for him. You stay for Erwin." Levi could feel fire boiling in his chest, but it wasn't the kind of fire that passed between him and Aubrey. This fire was darker, more potent. It wasn't anger or fury, it seeped and emanated from his core. Was it jealousy?

Aubrey stared at him unapologetically. "Yes."

The air stiffened and it took Levi's full strength not to immediately snatch his hand away from Aubrey's lap.

"I would give my life for him."

Her comment put Levi over the edge and he pulled his hand away as the fire in his chest roared. But before he could get away entirely, Aubrey snatched his wrist and held him still with surprising force.

Aubrey's features were cold and hard, all traces of the smile she had held just moments before had disappeared. Levi felt the fire of envy burn even hotter in his chest and he gritted his teeth as he stared back at her.

"One day, I suspect that I will tell you everything about me. But right now, I am not ready." Levi's eyes flared and glinted in the light. He didn't know how to react to her sudden intensity. "All you need to know right now is that Erwin is essential to my survival. To me he is a friend, a brother, and a parent all wrapped into one. I can tell you with confidence that if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be sitting here today."

If Levi had been startled before, now he was truly bewildered. Her speech had left him in a state of shock and he found himself unable to move or speak. All he could do was stare back at her while her words repeated in his head. 'To me he is a friend, a brother, and a parent all wrapped into one.' Levi couldn't help but notice that she had left out any mention of Erwin being her lover. He immediately scolded himself for thinking such a thing. Why should he care anyway?

Still feeling jealousy and rage in his chest, Levi spit out a haphazard response. "Tch. I don't care what that bastard has done, he's nothing more than a sadistic asshole."

Aubrey felt anger bubble up within her. She knew that Erwin and Levi didn't get along but his blatant disrespect for her friend and Commander was getting on her nerves.

She'd just told him that Erwin had practically saved her life, saved her soul, and all that he could do was insult him once again. She understood that the two hadn't gotten off on the best note but she had hoped that if Levi could respect Erwin for his own actions, perhaps Levi could respect what Erwin had done for her.

"We should be getting back." Aubrey dropped Levi's hand abruptly and began cleaning up the remnants of their picnic. The sun had long since passed its highest point and late afternoon was nearing.

Levi felt the same twinge in his stomach that he had noticed earlier. For a moment he felt guilty about the way he had upset Aubrey but it wasn't long before his hate for the Commander seeped back into his mind. That bastard was a true abomination and nothing Aubrey said was going to change his mind.

Levi stood just as Aubrey finished putting their leftovers away and he picked the blanket up as he got to his feet, neatly folding it and shoving it into the basket in Aubrey's hands.

"Fine."

For the first time, Aubrey felt herself wanting to be rid of Levi's presence and she wasted no time satisfying her desire.

Sending him a hard glare, Aubrey turned on her heel and headed for the forest, easily finding the path back. She could hear Levi's footsteps following but noticed that he made sure to keep a few paces back. He'd most definitely caught on to her annoyance.

Aubrey let out a huff of irritation as she continued her way along the winding trail. She may have felt a connection to Levi but she wasn't about to throw Erwin out the door for a boy she'd only met days ago. Aubrey couldn't believe her recent actions. How had she fallen so quickly for someone who had just shown himself to be so ignorant and cocky?

Aubrey broke through the treeline without a glance backward and trudged her way toward the castle. She didn't care if Levi was still on her trail or not, just the thought of him was causing smoke to blow out of her ears.

At the moment, all Aubrey wanted was to be back in the safety of her own room or perhaps in the security of Erwin's office. Levi's demeaning comments had only made her want to see her friend more.

Finally, Aubrey arrived back at the entrance to the castle. She snuck a glance behind her only to discover that Levi was nowhere in sight. Aubrey's brows furrowed. She figured he'd probably just headed straight for his room. That was fine by her. Looking at him probably would have just made her angrier anyway.

Stomping her way through the castle corridors, Aubrey made her way to the kitchens where she hastily put away the basket and discarded the leftovers of their picnic. She caught the attention of several of the cooks who had arrived to begin preparing the upcoming dinner but none of them questioned her after seeing the scowl on her face. Besides, Aubrey came to the kitchens quite often to help with the cooking on her days off, so her presence wasn't necessarily foreign.

After finishing her task, Aubrey stalked out of the Mess Hall and made her way through the hallways of the castle to Erwin's office. She raised her fist and knocked a bit harder than was necessary on the wood door but she didn't really care. She was still fuming.

"Come in." Aubrey heard Erwin's voice ring out from the other side of the door and he'd barely finished speaking when she turned the knob and flung herself through the entrance.

Aubrey found Erwin sitting at his desk with his usual stacks of paperwork surrounding him. His hands were splotched with black ink stains and his under eyes were their typical shade of purple. Aubrey could tell that he hadn't had a good night's sleep in days.

"Ah, Aubrey. Is there something I can help you with?" Erwin's voice sounded gruff and tired.

Aubrey huffed and turned to close the door behind her. She swiftly turned the lock before trudging her way over to the couch and practically slamming herself down into her seat.

Erwin raised an eyebrow and an amused expression covered his face. Aubrey was obviously upset about something but it was her demeanor that really sparked his interest. She was pouting like a small child. Her arms were folded over her chest and her legs were crossed as her foot swung in impatience. The entire look was completed by her furrowed brows and puffed lower lip.

Suppressing a huff of laughter, Erwin spoke again. "You look rather agitated."

Aubrey snapped her head to the side to meet his gaze. "How could I not be after being around that stupid idiot?"

Erwin felt true intrigue wrap around his brain as he grasped who she was referring to. "May I assume that you are alluding to our new recruit?"

Aubrey let out a puff of air through her nose and turned her head away, jutting out her chin. That was all the answer he needed.

"I see. What exactly has he done to upset you so? Just yesterday you two seemed to be on quite good terms."

Aubrey stood abruptly, crossing the room and snatching a file of paperwork from the nearest pile. She didn't hesitate to take one of the pens lying on Erwin's desk and then promptly she returned to her former seat, once again plopping down a bit more forcefully than needed.

Aubrey slapped the file onto the coffee table in front of her and rummaged through its contents before speaking again. "Good terms, my ass."

Erwin could no longer hold in his feelings of amusement and a small smile came to his lips as he leaned back in his chair. "May I ask once again what he did to bring out this sort of reaction?"

Aubrey's eyes were skimming the documents in front of her and she picked up the pen to scribble a small message in one of the required sections. Erwin mused over her. He remembered the other times that she had come to his office and helped him with his paperwork. Almost all of them had been instances when Flagon had set her off or her training hadn't gone as she'd hoped. Erwin figured that the paperwork was a way for her to take her mind off her troubles and allow her subconscious to mull things over while she worked. He didn't mind one bit. When Aubrey was mad she did paperwork like a fiend.

Aubrey grunted in what Erwin figured was frustration before she replied to his question. "That idiot has no respect for anyone."

Erwin felt a darkness come over him. Suddenly he was concerned for Aubrey's well-being. Had Levi tried to force her into something? Or even worse, had he actually done something?

"Aubrey, if he has harmed you in any way you must tell me this instant."

Aubrey's hand stilled in the middle of writing a surprisingly accurate copy of Erwin's signature. Her nose scrunched and her brows furrowed as she realized what Erwin was implying.

"Oh my gosh Erwin, no, no! It's nothing like that! He hasn't laid a hand on me." Aubrey finished her writing as she continued to grumble under her breath. "As if that doofus could ever get close enough to even try such a thing..."

Erwin released a relieved sigh. He knew that Aubrey was strong and able to handle herself but from what he'd seen, Levi may have been the first person to ever come close to her skill and strength. He likely was the only person in the world that could actually pose a threat to Aubrey and for a moment he had found himself genuinely worried. Levi may have been under his control for the time being but he was still an unknown in nearly every category.

Erwin regained his composure and tried again. "Well then who is it that Levi has no respect for?"

At his question, Aubrey threw down her pen, it's uncontrolled ink leaving messy blotches on the unfinished paperwork. "You! He has no respect for you!"

Erwin felt his eyebrows raise once again in surprise. "I'm sorry?"

Aubrey threw herself back in her seat, slamming against the couch. "That idiot insults you every chance he gets! Calling you 'bastard' this or 'bastard' that and when I try to defend you, when I tell him how much you have done for me, how much you have done for this regiment, all he can do is insult you again!" Aubrey placed her head in her hands, her light blonde locks falling toward the floor.

Erwin sighed and placed his elbows on his desk, his hands clasping together. "Aubrey, I am flattered that you feel such an intense desire to protect my reputation but you must know that not every person is going to like me. That is simply how the world works."

Aubrey raised her head from her hands and shot Erwin a glare that sent ice running through his veins. "Well neither of you are helping very much! Nobody will tell me anything! Every time Levi looks at you his eyes say that he'd like to kill you on the spot and yet all I know is that apparently you two didn't have a 'friendly first encounter'!? What am I supposed to make of that, Erwin? People don't kill over a limp handshake!"

Erwin sighed. He would have to tell her at least part of the truth if he were ever going to get her to calm down. And while he wasn't a huge fan of her extraordinarily close relationship with Levi, he did see the advantages of having Aubrey as someone who could keep a handle on him.

"Aubrey, I will tell you about our encounter but first I need you to calm yourself. Being so worked up isn't going to fix anything."

Aubrey huffed but didn't object. She was finally going to get some answers. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she attempted to slow her now rapid heart rate and clear her mind. Erwin was right, being so flustered was only doing her more harm than good. After feeling her pulse slow to a normal rate and her head return to a slightly less frazzled capacity, Aubrey slowly opened her eyes and shot Erwin a hard stare. "Go."

Upon seeing her serious look, Erwin didn't waste any time getting to the point. "Right, well, I suppose that the first thing I must disclose to you is that those three are from the Underground City."

Aubrey's eyes widened in shock. The Underground City? She'd never imagined that place could've been their origin. She'd only been a few times, to accompany Erwin with miscellaneous projects and trades, and just the thought of the place made her skin crawl. It was truly a hell on earth. Children dying in the streets, women lying beaten and broken in the roads, men brawling in the bars... It was the absolute epitome of man kind's failures.

"The Underground City?" Aubrey repeated Erwin's words, desperately hoping that she had heard wrong.

Erwin nodded solemnly. "Yes. They've made quite a name for themselves there. Somehow, they managed to get their hands on some sets of 3DMG. They claim that they're all self-taught and I have no evidence to contradict that statement. None of their names or descriptions match up with any missing or discharged soldiers from any branch. Either way, their skills are impressive and I have had my eye on them for quite some time. So far, they've only been using their talents as a way to complete crime jobs but I can only imagine what the results would be should they truly decide to aid the Scout Regiment."

Aubrey leaned forward in her seat. She still hadn't gotten the answer to her original question. "And your 'unpleasant first encounter'? Why does he hate you so much, Erwin?"

Erwin lowered his head in thought, speaking slowly and decisively. "They did not join our ranks willingly. I took Miche and a few others and captured them in the Underground. I promised them that their crimes would be waived if they would enlist in the Survey Corps. And I will be the first to admit that their capture was not what one would call 'gentle' by any means."

Aubrey's shoulders slumped forward as she listened to Erwin's words. She'd never imagined such a scenario. It was so unlike Erwin to be so... unkind.

Aubrey felt a twinge of guilt in her core. Perhaps she had overreacted. No, she had most definitely overreacted. She'd been so quick to pounce on Levi without even a second thought to the idea that his feelings against Erwin were logically founded. Aubrey saw Erwin as her family, her only family. After the last expedition, their relationship had developed quickly and he had become her reason for living, for continuing on. Aubrey had made it her mission to ensure his protection and survival at all costs. It had become second nature to her to come to his defense, whether that was with blades or with words.

"Is there anything else that I should know?"

Erwin paused. There was more to this story than he was willing to tell. He knew that Aubrey would be upset with him if she ever found out about his withholding, but it was purely for her own safety that Erwin decided to keep his mouth shut.

"No, nothing."

Aubrey sighed as she mulled over all of the information that was now flooding her brain. Upon hearing it, she could definitely believe the fact that Levi was from the Underground. He had a sort of hardened aura around him, like a shell that refused to crack. She figured a wall like that was necessary to survive in a pit like the Underground.

"Well now I feel like a spoiled brat." Aubrey held her face in her hands as she spoke through her fingers.

Erwin bowed his head. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner."

Aubrey raised her head slowly before meeting Erwin's gaze. When their eyes met, he was taken aback. He saw genuine sadness in her stare and a hint of something else that horribly reminded him of betrayal.

"Why did you do that, Erwin? He may have been living in the Underground but you tore him, against his will, from whatever semblance of a home he had. For what? Because you thought he was good with the 3DMG? That doesn't sound like you at all, Erwin."

Erwin felt an uneasiness rise within him. It seemed he wouldn't be getting off so easily. Aubrey had seen right through his explanation. He sighed again, knowing that he had been outdone.

"Aubrey, I'm going to be frank with you. There are other reasons that caused me to bring those three to the surface and to store them within our ranks, but I cannot tell you what those reasons are. It is a matter of your safety as well as my own. So please, Aubrey, I must ask you to trust me. Trust that I have this situation under control and place your faith in my abilities."

Aubrey felt questions burning in her mind. She wanted to ask so badly what could have Erwin worried for their safety. Who exactly was Levi? What was his purpose for being here?

Aubrey felt the questions tingling on her lips but she held them in with all her might.

"Aubrey, will you trust me?"

Aubrey gave Erwin a soft smile and her eyes melted out of their intense state. "When have I ever done anything else?"

Erwin smiled back at her as he felt the tension within him loosen ever so slightly. If he had Aubrey's confidence, the game he was playing with Levi would be much smoother. He knew that the girl would have his back no matter what. Her blind belief in him was a reassurance beyond any other and he felt a warmth spread through him as he thought about how close they had grown over the past months. She was, without a doubt, his most treasured friend and comrade.

"Thank you, Aubrey."

Aubrey nodded slightly and turned back to the paperwork in front of her. She had no plans for the day and she still wasn't sure exactly how she was going to deal with the whole Levi situation. She needed more time to think.

Picking up her pen once again, she began scribbling out a description of the formations they would be using in the upcoming expedition. All of the planning and paperwork surrounding a trip outside the walls often left Erwin in his office long into the night. The least she could do was give him some assistance.

As her hand moved across the page, Aubrey mulled over her earlier conversation with Levi and couldn't help but feel the warmth that ignited in her core at the thought of his hand on hers. It seemed she had crossed a line with him and now there was no going back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is the first chapter that I have written 'from scratch' and I have now OFFICIALLY run out of prewritten material. So, from here on out, updates will be coming every other day or every three day depending on how much time/motivation I have. However, if you want updates sooner, leave a comment... They inspire me to write faster LOL. Also, if you have any suggestions as to how you would like this story to proceed, please let me know! I have the overall story pretty much planned out but the inner details like conversations and minor character interactions are kind of just made up as I go... Anyway, I love you guys! Thanks for reading and DON'T HESITATE TO LEAVE A COMMENT : )


	12. Chapter 12

Aubrey remained in Erwin's office for what was left of the day. The endless piles of paperwork kept her more than occupied and she was grateful for such a repetitive task. It gave her time to allow her subconscious to work out the kinks of her situation with Levi.

Upon hearing Erwin's confession, Aubrey had felt dreadful. She'd acted like a child, lashing out at Levi when he'd said just one thing that she wasn't keen to hear. She'd stormed off like a toddler and ran to the safety of Erwin's office. She could only imagine what he thought of her now.

And to think that Erwin had acted in such a way toward Levi, it explained his apparent hatred for the Commander. Aubrey still didn't think it was very kind of Levi to insult her friend to her face, but she now realized that her actions had also been uncalled for. She would have to apologize.

She had yet to decide when, where, or how she was going to do it, but saying sorry was a necessity if she had any hope of appeasing the ache in her chest. Ever since she'd cooled off from her argument with Levi, the sting of anger had turned into an ache of longing. It was as if being apart from him was causing her physical discomfort.

"Aubrey."

Aubrey was broken from her thoughts as she felt a warm hand lay across her shoulder. She looked up to see Erwin smiling down at her.

"Dinnertime is nearly over. If we want to get some food, we'd better head for the Mess Hall."

Aubrey nodded in agreement and gently placed her pen on the table in front of her. The two of them had managed to make a serious dent in the overwhelming amounts of paperwork and only a few files remained untouched.

"We got a lot done, huh?" Aubrey stood from her seat and grabbed her jacket from its spot across the back of the couch.

Erwin grinned at her, obviously happy that he would be able to get a real night's worth of sleep. "Yes, we certainly did. I can't thank you enough for your help."

Aubrey waved her hand in dismissal. "Don't worry about it. It helped me just as much as it helped you."

Erwin gave her another gentle smile. "Right, well, I appreciate your help either way. On another note, we should get going."

Aubrey beamed back at him. "Lead the way."

Erwin made his way to the door and opened it softly, allowing Aubrey to pass through first before locking it behind him.

The two walked side by side through the corridors of the castle. Their silence was comfortable as both of their minds wandered in different directions. The sound of their footsteps echoed against the stone walls and Aubrey felt herself growing anxious as they neared the Mess Hall. Would Levi be there? What should she do when she saw him? Apologize? Wait and then get him in a more private setting? There were too many uncertainties and Aubrey's head was beginning to spin. She'd never been in this type of a relationship before, whatever this type of relationship was, and she felt completely out of her element.

Apparently her confusion was showing because Erwin placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder as they rounded the final corner to the Mess Hall. Aubrey looked up at him and his soft smile gave her the confidence she needed to put one foot in front of the other.

Finally, the two of them arrived at the meal hall, finding streams of soldiers filing out. The food tables looked fairly picked over and served as evidence that dinnertime was coming to a close.

Aubrey hungrily scanned the crowd for Levi's face but found no trace of either him, Isabel, nor Farlan. She frowned. He'd probably eaten with the first wave of soldiers.

Erwin stepped forward, making his way to the food tables and Aubrey followed closely behind him. She absentmindedly filled her plate as her thoughts drifted back to Levi. Should she seek him out in the barracks? No, she'd never be able to get in. Flagon had only allowed her to enter before because she was doing his dirty work. But that meant that she would have to wait until tomorrow to speak with him. Just the thought made her chest tighten and Aubrey knew that such a concept wasn't an option. If she waited so long to right things with Levi, she'd never sleep. Not that she slept well in the first place, but the agony of overthinking would leave her even more exhausted than one of her nightmares.

With her mind elsewhere, Aubrey made her way over to the table where Erwin had already seated himself. He too seemed to be thinking of some far off idea and the two of them ate their meals in contemplative silence.

Aubrey was just scooping her last bite of mashed potatoes into her mouth when Erwin cleared his throat, gaining her attention.

Aubrey glanced at him only to see him move his gaze suggestively to focus on something behind her. Following his stare, Aubrey looked over her shoulder to see Levi standing at the entrance to the Mess Hall, Isabel and Farlan on either side of him. He appeared to be frozen to his spot in the doorway, a deep scowl on his face as he stared right at her. Before Aubrey could call out to him, he turned on his heel and headed back in the direction he came, leaving a confused Isabel and Farlan behind.

Aubrey sprang from her seat, leaving her dirtied tray behind as she chased after Levi. She sprinted past Isabel and Farlan, whom she thought she saw glaring at her, but they didn't attempt to follow.

Running down the hallway, Aubrey saw Levi walking at a brisk pace ahead of her.

"Levi!" Aubrey shouted after him.

Levi had no response other than to quicken his walk as she neared him.

"Levi!" Aubrey shouted a bit louder but received no answer.

Giving up on words, Aubrey decided she would have to stop him with force. She closed in on him quickly and reached for his hand at his side. But, the second her skin touched his, Levi whirled around to face her. She nearly ran straight into his chest but skidded to a stop just inches away from him. She looked up at him, hoping to see some form of a pleasant expression but was only met with cold anger. His dark brows were pinched together and his ebony hair fell into his hardened grey eyes.

"What do you want?" Levi's words seeped out with an icy tone and Aubrey felt a current of cold run through her. He was really, seriously upset with her.

Aubrey found herself unable to move as she was rooted to the spot by his frosty disposition. She tried to form a sentence, any sentence, but her lips refused to take shape.

"Tch."

With no response from Aubrey, Levi lost interest and turned to leave. His attempt to escape brought Aubrey to her senses and she finally forced herself to move, breaking out of her stupor. She leapt forward and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back to face her. She spoke quickly before Levi could utter another sentence that would leave her in a trance.

"I-I wanted to... to apologize." Aubrey had to keep her eyes on his. Her every instinct told her to look away from his icy glare but she forced her gaze to lock with his. If she was going to apologize, she was going to do it right.

Her words must have surprised Levi because his eyes softened for a fraction of a second before returning to their frigid state.

Levi didn't respond so Aubrey continued. "The way that I acted was childish and immature. I stormed off without giving you a chance to speak your mind and, ever since, all I've been able to think about is how ridiculous the whole thing was... I'm sorry."

Aubrey sucked in breath, awaiting Levi's response anxiously. Suddenly, she felt strong grips on both of her wrists and her feet were backpedaling until she was pressed up against what she assumed was the wall. Trying to comprehend her new situation, Aubrey stared straight ahead into Levi's eyes which were now only inches from her own. His gaze was still hard but the ice had since melted into a blazing fire. The passion and fury in his stare were enough to make Aubrey squirm but she soon found that Levi had her hands pinned to the stone behind her. She wasn't going anywhere until he let her.

"You're damn right it was ridiculous. You don't know a thing about me and yet you are so quick to judge. And then when brought up that bastard and you stormed off like that-" Levi cut himself off as he caught his breath. The anger was taking a serious toll on him and Aubrey watched as the muscles in his jaw flexed, tightening and shifting as he ground his teeth together.

Levi inhaled sharply and continued his speech in a softer voice. "When you stormed off like that I was so mad that I.. I-" Levi trailed off as Aubrey stared into his eyes. She could feel his every breath against her skin and his voice had become so low and rough that the very sound had sent shivers and tingles down her spine. Not to mention that the all too familiar flames were lingering in any places that their bodies touched... which was just about everywhere.

"You, what?" Aubrey egged him on, urging him to continue.

Levi remained silent but leaned closer, pressing his body even tighter against her. He could feel every inch of her being, every curve of her body against him and her presence became infuriating. No matter how far he leaned in, he wasn't close enough. He wanted more.

Levi focused his lips on Aubrey's slightly parted lips. Her breath was coming in small pants and he could feel it against his cheek. He drifted closer until only the slightest sliver of air separated their mouths. He stayed there for a moment, hesitating to go further before he was interrupted.

"Oi, Levi!"

Levi snapped his head to the side just in time to see Furlan rounding the corner. His mouth fell open at the sight before him and Levi sprang back just in time to avoid receiving a similar reaction from Isabel, who was following closely in Furlan's footsteps.

"Oh, there you are Big Bro! We were just wondering what was taking you so lo-" Isabel was cut off abruptly by Furlan, who slapped a hand over her mouth and began dragging her away and back toward the Mess Hall. The girl protested but didn't seem to be any match for Furlan's strength and size as she was helplessly carried away and out of sight, leaving Aubrey and Levi alone once again.

At least three feet separated the two and the space left them feeling empty and hollow. Aubrey released a shuddering breath as Levi let out an audible sigh. Aubrey felt as if her legs were about to collapse beneath her and she leaned heavily against the wall for support. Her heart was beating faster than she thought was humanly possible and she was lightheaded beyond belief.

Levi had been about to... kiss her.

The thought made her mind reel. She had never been rendered so utterly powerless in her life as she had been when Levi's body was pressed against hers. She hadn't been able to breathe, think, move. Everything had happened so quickly and yet she could remember it in slow motion. 

"I'm sorry, too." Levi spoke steadily and Aubrey raised a confused glance toward him. How could he be speaking so calmly? And on top of that, how could he return to their conversation as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened? "I shouldn't have insulted the Commander," Levi visibly grimaced as he spoke Erwin's title, "At least not in front of you."

Somehow, Aubrey managed to find her words, though they came out breathy and weak. "Th-thank you... I accept your apology."

Levi gave her nothing more than a curt nod and with that, he spun abruptly and rounded the corner of the hallway, presumably off to find Isabel and Furlan.

As soon as he was out of sight, Aubrey sank to the ground, her weak knees finally unable to support her any longer. And as Levi's footsteps retreated through the corridors, Aubrey was left wondering how she'd fallen so hard for such a strange and strong man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I hope that everyone enjoyed this little update at 1am on a Monday... What can I say; quarantine has my sleep schedule TOTALLY messed up. Anyway, things really spiced up this chapter! Our love story is progressing! This is the most fun that I've had writing a chapter in a while, so I hope you had as good of a time as I did! Please leave a comment! I know that I beg for them in practically every author's note but they really do help me stay motivated when it comes to writing! So, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! :)


	13. Chapter 13

It had been ten minutes and Aubrey was still plastered to the wall of the corridor that Levi had left her in. Her heart was only just beginning to slow and she could feel a sticky layer of sweat covering her entire body.

While her body may have been calming, Aubrey's mind was still running a million miles a minute. Countless questions and emotions slammed their way into her consciousness and it was so overwhelming that she nearly wished that she would just pass out. Being out cold on the stone floor would be better than the agony of her overrun psyche.

There were so many feelings that it had taken Aubrey all of her ten minutes on the ground just to identify a few. Anger, confusion, delight, anticipation, and shock seemed to be front runners with confusion taking the lead the longer she sat. That damn asshole is an enigma.

Aubrey was sure that she would have remained in her crouch all night had it not been for the arrival of a very concerned Hange.

"Aubrey?"

Snapped from her daze, Aubrey raised her fiery eyes to meet Hange's concerned gaze and immediately recognized the worry on her features. Realizing that she probably looked like a rabid dog, Aubrey attempted to stand, only to find that her legs had yet to regain their strength and crash back onto the hard floor.

"Woah there!" Hange rushed forward and closed the gap between her and Aubrey, gipping her friend's arms and offering some assistance. "Let me help you."

Aubrey gratefully and wordlessly accepted Hange's aid and leaned heavily on her for support.

"Um, do you wanna tell me what happened?" Hange's voice was apprehensive and cautious. Aubrey didn't look like she was in very good condition and her eyes were far off, staring into a space that Hange couldn't see.

Aubrey looked straight ahead and spoke breathlessly, barely able to form a sentence. "No. Take me to my room, please."

Hange gave a Aubrey a surprised glance. She'd never seen her friend so frazzled before. Her body was limp, almost like she had been training for hours with no break and her muscles could no longer support her. However, Hange doubted that was the case, seeing as she'd found her against a wall in the castle.

Deciding that it would be best to ask questions later, when Aubrey could actually stand on her own, Hange simply nodded and began half walking half dragging the girl back to the barracks.

Aubrey's breaths were still heavy as she hobbled along the dirt path outside the castle. Thankfully, she'd managed to regain some control over her legs and was now using Hange as more of a support pillar rather than forcing her poor friend to practically carry her.

Upon seeing the back door of the barracks, Aubrey let out a sigh of relief and released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. As the safety of the dark, wooden building grew closer, Aubrey felt her steps quickening. She was much too eager to lock herself inside of her dark room and lay down. She needed some time to process and that just wasn't going to happen if anyone else was around. She needed silence.

Finally, Hange arrived at the back door and pulled it open, leading Aubrey inside and setting her on the nearest bed. As she eyed the room, she couldn't help but notice the layer of dust that coated the other side. It looked almost as if there were a line drawn down the center. One half was obviously used, with the bedsheets rustled and small piles of clothing scattered about. But the other half was pristine apart from the grit and grime that covered the surfaces. It had to have been months since anyone, including Aubrey, had touched it.

Hange shot Aubrey a concerned and confused glance and Aubrey immediately responded, hoping to avoid the questions she knew would be coming.

"Thank you Hange, I really appreciate your help."

Hange debated for a minute, deciding whether to respond to Aubrey's statement or to investigate the mystery of the right side of the room. However, something in Aubrey's eyes led her to give up on her inquiry and simply answer her friend.

"No problem... Um... do you want me to stay for a bit?" Hange took in Aubrey's heaving form and felt a wave of concern wash over her. A sheen of sweat covered Aubrey's forehead and Hange could swear that she saw her lips quivering.

"No, Hange, but thank you. I just... I just need to be alone for a while, please."

Hange hesitated. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

Aubrey mustered all the strength that she could and looked Hange in the eye, trying to put on a strong face. "Yes, Hange, I'm sure. Thank you again for helping me."

Hange nodded and accepted Aubrey's answer, but before she turned to leave, she gave one last comment. "Alright, but once you're up and running again you have to answer all my questions."

Aubrey sighed. She'd expected as much from a scientist. "I'll do my best, but no promises."

Hange paused, thinking over Aubrey's offer before coming to the conclusion that it was the best she was going to get. Giving Aubrey a solid nod, Hange turned on her heel and headed for the door. 

"Hange, one last thing." Aubrey called out after her friend, catching her just as she'd been stepping outside. "Do me a favor and don't mention this to Erwin?" Aubrey's voice was pleading. If Erwin found out about her current state he'd be in her room in a second and then she'd never get the chance to recuperate.

Hange's brows furrowed in curiosity and confusion but granted her friend's request. "Sure thing. Rest up, Aubrey."

With that, Aubrey watched as Hange firmly closed the door behind her.

As soon as Hange's footsteps had faded, Aubrey let out a deep breath. Finally, she was alone. Aubrey fell back onto her bed and felt her head hit the soft pillow. Her heart was still racing nearly as fast as her mind and she knew that if she was ever going to calm her thought, she would first need to calm her body. Taking deep and soothing breaths, Aubrey made a conscious effort to slow her frantic anatomy. One controlled exhale after another, Aubrey felt herself start to relax. Her heart rate slowed and her muscles released while breathing started to become easier.

Finally, Aubrey began to feel human again. But now that she had her body under control, she had to focus on her mind. Thoughts and questions that she had pushed to the side came rushing back. He was going to kiss me? Why did he walk away like that? All he gave me was a nod? Is he still mad at me? Am I mad at him? Why does he act like this?

Aubrey concentrated on addressing one thought at a time. Yes, he was going to kiss me. He probably walked away because of Furlan and Isabel. Just giving me a nod makes him an asshole. I don't know if he's still mad at me. I don't think that I'm mad at him, just frustrated. I don't know why he acts like an asshole but I'll be sure to ask next time I see him. Maybe I am still mad at him?

Aubrey sorted through her questions one by one, making sure to take it slow and complete each thought thoroughly. It had been a long time since anyone had made her head reel this way and the whole process was draining.

After spending what seemed like an eternity thinking in her bed, Aubrey began to return to reality. She'd been brought back to the present and the first thing that she noticed was how disgusting she felt. A cold sweat covered her entire body and her uniform was drenched through. Her hair stuck to her face and neck and she sensed that a grime had settled over her.

With great effort, Aubrey moved herself into a sitting position and stretched her aching muscles. She couldn't believe the physical effect that her little crisis had caused. It was like she'd been running non-stop all day and was only getting to stop just now.

Grimacing, Aubrey stood and began gathering a fresh set of clothes from her "clean" pile. She hated folding and never put the effort in to set any of her laundry into corresponding drawers. She didn't have many clothes so she went through them quickly enough that it was easier to just keep them out, even if it was messy.

Finally having possession of a full outfit of casual training clothes, Aubrey made her way to the showers. She was dying to get the layer of sweat and slime off of her. Plus, she felt that the rhythmic drum of the water would probably help her to clear her mind even further.

Making her way through the halls of the barracks, Aubrey received several concerned and intimidated stares as people moved out of her way. She figured that she probably looked half dead and frazzled.

After a laborious journey, Aubrey finally reached her destination and sighed in relief as she turned on one of the showers and closed the curtain behind her. First, she relished in the feeling of the icy water on her skin, allowing it to bring her back to the land of the living as it awakened her tired body. Then, the warming of the water gave her the soothing effect that she had been hoping for and she felt the last of the tension leave her shoulders.

Aubrey quickly got to work washing her hair and scrubbing her body in order to rid herself of the sweat and grime that had built up on her skin. She buffed and polished until her skin was red and raw in some areas and only then was she satisfied.

Aubrey briskly turned off the water and dried herself with a towel before sliding into her casual clothing. She was grateful that the day had come to an end and that she was able to wear such a comfortable outfit. She liked the look of the military uniforms but she would be the first to admit that they were beyond uncomfortable. The straps of the 3DMG were their own form of hell, especially if one accidentally tightened them too much.

Stepping out of the shower, Aubrey felt like a new person. She had been revitalized and her mind had finally cleared enough for her to plan her next course of action. How was she going to proceed?

After making her way back to her room, Aubrey stripped her bed of its sweaty sheets and quickly threw on a new set, shoving the dirty sheets into the "dirty" pile on her floor. She'd wash them later. For now, she needed to form a strategy.

Once again taking a seat on her bed, Aubrey began to think ahead. After her reflection earlier, she had come to the conclusion that she was, in fact, mad at Levi. He had left her all alone after doing something so influential and shocking and Aubrey was definitely mad at him. The only problem was that she didn't know how to address her anger. A part of her wanted to march her way to the men's barracks right now and force her way inside, demanding for him to talk to her. Yet, another part of her wanted to curl up in a ball of embarrassment and never look him in the eye again. After a few rounds of debating with herself, Aubrey came to a conclusion. She would wait until morning and talk to him when their paths crossed again. She was hoping that it would be on her way to breakfast but Aubrey knew that the odds of them leaving the barracks at the same time were slim, so she would just have to approach him in a more public setting. The Mess Hall was the second best option. There, she could simply go to his table and ask to speak to him privately in the hallway. However, speaking to him during training was the least appealing of the scenarios. Aubrey grimaced at the idea of them having an argument in front of their comrades. But it couldn't be helped. She needed to get answers from Levi, and she would do whatever was necessary to get them.

When it came to Erwin, the solution was simple. She would just speak to him the next morning at breakfast and tell him that Levi had stormed off on her when she'd tried to speak to him. Hopefully, Hange had kept true to her word and not told the Commander about her collapse in the hallway. Otherwise, she'd have some extra explaining to do.

As for Hange herself, Aubrey found herself in quite the predicament. She knew that Hange would hold her to her promise to talk and that the questions would be fast and furious. Aubrey decided that she would just have to wing it on that one. She would determine in the moment what she was willing to reveal and what was better kept private. Hange may be persistent, but Aubrey's secrets were protected by a barricade of steel.

Feeling quite accomplished, Aubrey stood and turned off the lights. The sun had long since set and Aubrey could the familiar sense of drowsiness creeping up on her. She didn't feel the need to change into pajamas and decided that her casual clothes would be just fine. She felt as if she might actually sleep that night, considering she had so expertly worked out her little plan.

Aubrey laid back in her bed and allowed her head to sink into the soft pillow beneath her. She was comfortable and her eyelids drooped as she drifted off to sleep. She vaguely hoped that the nightmare would be the less vivid version that she had recently experienced yet, as her fatigue finally won, she could tell that her vision would be just as lifelike as ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just keepin' it real with y'all, I'm not really sure that this chapter is my best work. I started out taking this chapter in a completely different direction and changed my mind about halfway through. I feel like it might have thrown me off and now I'm feeling like this chapter came out kinda clunky and choppy. However, I wanted to give you guys a new chapter by the end of today and this writing at least gets the story across, even if it might not have the most eloquent writing style. Maybe I'm just being dramatic or seeing things that aren't there. Who knows...
> 
> ANYWAY, you all know the drill! I love comments so PLEASE leave one and let me know what you think!


	14. Chapter 14

Aubrey woke feeling just as drained and exhausted as usual. Her heart was racing and she could feel her breaths coming in small pants. Unfortunately, her nightmare had been particularly vivid. 

Feeling tense and vulnerable, Aubrey swung her legs over the side of her bed and placed her head in her hands. She had foolishly hoped that her dream would be less intense, as it had been the previous night. But she'd been very wrong and now she was regretting having let her guard down.

Aubrey gently wiped the dried tears from her face, ones that she didn't recall shedding, and stood to ready herself for the day. She quickly recalled her predicament with Levi and tried to think of what she would say upon seeing him. Aubrey came up blank. She had never been in any situation like this. Even when she got into a squabble with Erwin, she had always known how she wanted to resolve the issue when the time came to apologize. But with Levi, Aubrey didn't even know where to start. Her situation with him was so delicate, so intimate, and Aubrey felt blood rushing to her cheeks just thinking about directly addressing what had transpired between them. She felt like a little girl who had a crush on the boy next door. She felt ridiculous. And yet, she couldn't help it. Aubrey was rendered helpless in Levi's presence and the thought of it irked her. Just a single touch of his hand was enough to send her reeling and she absolutely loathed the idea of being so out of control. Aubrey had been raised to be steady, calm, cool, and collected at all times, but this one person was able to make her lose all of her years of practice with a single stare.

Aubrey audibly grunted as she shoved her right leg into her pants. Thinking so hard about Levi was getting her far too worked up and so she resolved to simply deal with him when the time came. No plan necessary. It wasn't like she'd actually stick to it anyway one he was in her line of sight.

Eventually, Aubrey managed to get herself fully dressed and glanced longingly at her casual clothes that now sat in the "dirty" pile. The straps of her 3DMG were as uncomfortable as ever and she already missed the soft material of her training pants.

Sighing, Aubrey finally made her way to the door and shut it behind her. Taking another deep breath, she started walking along the dirt path and toward the castle. As she walked, Aubrey kept her eyes peeled for any sign of Levi or even Isabel or Farlan for that matter. It seemed that at most times, wherever one was found, the others weren't far.

Aubrey scanned the streams of soldiers for any of the familiar faces but had no luck. Before she knew it, she found herself passing through the large entryway of the castle and proceeding toward the Mess Hall.

As she walked, Aubrey steeled herself for what was to come. Finding Levi in the Mess Hall wouldn't be ideal, but she was prepared to approach him on sight. As each second ticked by, Aubrey felt more and more impatient about getting the whole thing over with.

Finally, Aubrey heard the rumble of her comrades eating in the Mess Hall and listened carefully to the sound of clanking utensils and group chatter. The noise was familiar and she found that it calmed her, even just the slightest bit.

Taking one last calming breath, Aubrey stepped into the Mess Hall and ran her eyes through the crowd relentlessly. After her first sweep, she saw no sign of Levi. So she tried again. Still nothing. Aubrey began going table to table, face to face, but still she saw no sign of him.

Frustration swept over her. Where was he? Aubrey was starting to get more anxious by the second and she could feel herself starting to tense. However, before her thoughts could wander into dangerous territory, Aubrey saw a flicker in the corner of her eye. Turning, she saw that it was Erwin. He was half standing in his seat and was waving a hand in the air, obviously trying to get her attention.

Taking one last look around the room, Aubrey hesitantly moved in Erwin's direction. After a series of very slow steps and distracted glances, Aubrey finally seated herself next to the Commander. Thankfully, Erwin was seated alone and Hange was nowhere in sight. Aubrey didn't know if she would have been able to cope with a tag-team attack from the both of them.

He raised an inquisitive brow. "Looking for someone?"

Aubrey shot him an annoyed glance and Erwin responded with a soft chuckle. He knew full well who she was looking for.

"Have you eaten yet?"

Aubrey shook her head, still absentmindedly scanning the tables around her.

"Then have the rest of mine. Here."

Aubrey looked down as a half-finished tray was pushed in front of her. The oatmeal and fruit had been left untouched.

"Are you sure? I can get my own..."

Erwin nodded with certainty. "Yes, I'm sure. I was finished anyway. I don't really care for the oatmeal. Besides, you seem a bit too busy to be filling a tray." He flashed her a mischievous smile and Aubrey responded with a peeved expression. He was teasing her and she knew it. But the truth was, she was grateful for her friend's offer and she willingly accepted the food.

Aubrey took slow bites of what was now her oatmeal as her eyes continued to wander.

"So... anything that you would like to report?"

Aubrey's eyes flicked back to Erwin's. This was the moment that she had thought about the night before. If Erwin sensed her lie, she would end up having to tell him what really happened and the idea of doing that caused her so much embarrassment that she felt she would rather die.

"Well, um... I tried to... I tried to talk to him and he... he stormed off on me." Aubrey flinched internally at her inability to even string together a basic sentence. Erwin was definitely going to see through her.

"I see. Is that all?"

Aubrey could already feel her pride wilting. He was going to squeeze it out of her right here and now. Right in the Mess Hall.

"Yes." Aubrey gave one last feeble attempt at protecting her secret.

"So he stormed off on you at the mention of my name and now you are left to look for him in order to set things right."

Aubrey stared at him, dumbfounded. He was letting her off easy? The look in Erwin's eye was enough to tell Aubrey that he knew there was more going on, but he was giving her a way out. Apparently he was taking pity on her.

Aubrey didn't care if it was pity that had caused him to end his questioning. She jumped at the opportunity he had thrown her. "Y-Yes! That's it exactly."

Erwin stood, readying to leave the Mess Hall. "As I thought. Well, if you have any more trouble with him, there's always more paperwork in my office." He gave her a gentle smile.

Aubrey grinned back at him, hoping that he could tell she was thanking him for more than just the offer of paperwork. "Thank you, Erwin. I may have to take you up on that."

Satisfied with her answer, Erwin nodded and took his leave, off to organize the training sessions for the day and get started on the stacks of files that were no doubt piled in his office.

As soon as Erwin had left the Mess Hall, Aubrey let out a sigh of relief. She loved Erwin to pieces but having to tell him about her experience with Levi would have ruined her ability to look him in the eye for months.

Noticing that others were beginning to finish their meals and file out of the room, Aubrey quickly ate the last few strawberries on her tray and returned it. She hadn't seen Levi at breakfast which probably meant that he'd eaten early and was already on the training field. Aubrey couldn't help but think that this may have been a tactic to avoid her but she quickly pushed the thought from her mind. It didn't matter if Levi was evading her or not. She would find him either way.

Aubrey followed a line of soldiers out of the Mess Hall and they quickened their pace as the dirt path came into view once again. They followed it until they came upon the familiar fork in the road, veering to the right and heading for the training grounds rather than the barracks.

The field was littered with soldiers but Aubrey kept her eyes trained straight ahead. Scanning the endless crowd would be pointless. If Levi was here, then he would be with his squad. Which also happened to be her squad. So, the second Aubrey caught a glimpse of a familiar face, her legs rushed forward and she called out.

"Kate!"

The dark haired girl raised her eyes from whatever she had been staring at on the ground and finally settled her gaze on Aubrey, who came to a skidding stop before her.

"Ah, Aubrey."

Aubrey bent over and placed her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. Kate had been on the opposite side of the field and Aubrey had run a bit faster and harder than was really necessary.

Finally restoring some oxygen to her lungs, Aubrey spoke. "Have you seen Levi today?"

Kate scrunched her face into something that looked similar to disgust. "You mean shorty?"

It was Aubrey's turn to scrunch her face. "Shorty?"

Kate nodded, clarifying. "Yeah, the dark-haired one who always looks like he's got a stick up his ass, right?"

Even in her tense state, Aubrey couldn't help but smile at Kate's crude description. The permanent frown on Levi's face did make him look somewhat... uncomfortable. "Yeah, that sounds like him, but why do you call him 'Shorty'?"

Kate snickered, obviously remembering something that Aubrey hadn't had the pleasure of witnessing. "Well I guess he's not really that short, it's just that when he stands next to that blond one he looks so tiny. That guy is a monster. Anyway, I called Mr. Stick-Up-His-Ass 'Shorty' and it really seemed to rile him up. So I just kept callin' him that and now he's stuck with it."

Aubrey found herself in awe of Kate's bravery. She knew first hand what an angered stare from Levi was like and she was sure that his icy glare would shake anyone to their core. But apparently Kate didn't feel the same. She'd had the boldness to openly tease Levi and, somehow, she'd lived to tell the tale.

"Oh man, Kate! You couldn't have been nice to just one new recruit? I don't think that you really wanna be on Levi's bad side..." Aubrey trailed off. If anything, she was the one on Levi's bad side.

"Whatever. I couldn't care less what Shorty thinks of me."

Aubrey sighed, deciding that there was no point in continuing that aspect of the conversation. Kate was going to budge on the name calling. Instead, Aubrey quickly regrouped and returned to the reason she'd sought out Kate in the first place.

"Right. Well, have you seen him anywhere?"

Kate shook her head as her dark locks swayed in the summer breeze. "No. He hasn't shown up yet."

Aubrey sighed. She'd been patient all morning and had worked herself up, thinking that the training field would be the climax of her anguish. Yet, Levi was nowhere to be seen. Frustration swept over her as she scanned the field. There were no signs of Isabel or Furlan either.

Soldiers had begun to separate into their squads and it was becoming easier to pick out familiar faces. She noticed that Flagon was milling toward her and Kate, looking as irritated as usual and mindlessly kicking pebbles through the green grass. Perhaps he would know something about Levi?

Flagon came to stop before Kate and Aubrey but before he could address them, Aubrey spoke up.

"Have you seen the new recruits, Captain?"

Flagon straightened his slouched stance and gave a grunt of annoyance. "No. Why?" Aubrey could hear the irritation dripping in his voice. Apparently he hadn't warmed up the new members yet.

"I haven't seen them all morning." Aubrey's brows furrowed as her eyes fell to the ground. She was getting worried. Had something happened to them? Maybe they had been targeted by some spiteful soldiers? Or perhaps they had taken a chance and run away under the cover of night? There were too many possibilities and Aubrey felt herself growing more and more anxious as each new idea seeped into her consciousness.

"Maybe Erwin finally got sick of their shit and sent them back to where they came from."

As soon as Flagon had uttered his last word, Aubrey felt something snap inside of her.

"Erwin would never." Aubrey was seething and her voice oozed with distaste. Flagon could be such an ignorant asshole sometimes and this was one of those times.

Flagon shifted his weight under Aubrey's icy gaze and began to look visibly uncomfortable. It wasn't often that she got upset so, when she did, it put everyone on edge.

Aubrey briefly considered reaming Flagon out but quickly decided against it. He wasn't worth her time and yelling at him wouldn't get her any closer to Levi. Aubrey inhaled deeply, focusing on spreading the oxygen to every corner of her body and calming her heating temper. When she finally felt calm enough, she spoke again, this time with her usual tone.

"Well, I just saw Erwin this morning and he didn't mention anything to me about the recruits leaving us. So, I suggest that we put some effort into finding them. Skipping training is a serious offense."

Flagon relaxed as he noticed Aubrey's voice return to its normal state but he also reverted back to his usual cocky self. "Nobody is looking for anyone. We're going to continue with our training as we normally would. If they don't show up by the end of the day, we'll report it to Erwin."

Aubrey gave him an exasperated look. Was he really that stupid? Due to his words earlier, Aubrey was pretty sure that Flagon knew some of Levi's background. At the very least he was aware that the three recruits had come from the Underground and that they were very skilled with 3DMG. But, if he knew all of that, why was he willing to leave them unattended?

"But Captain-"

"No 'buts'! My decision is final. If those pricks wanna get themselves kicked out then all the better for me."

Realization hit Aubrey like a punch to the gut. Flagon wanted Levi to get caught ditching. Skipping training without a valid excuse was a very serious infraction and if the new recruits got caught, it might be enough for Erwin to take disciplinary action against them. Aubrey guessed that Flagon would like nothing more than for that exact scenario to take place. If it did, he'd be free of one of the only people who made him realize his own stupidity.

Aubrey struggled to keep her temper under control. Flagon was getting under her skin and she could feel her breaths coming more and more rapidly as she fought back the urge to shout. Usually, she was able to brush Flagon's comments aside the worthless blobs of annoyance that they were, but now it was getting personal. An attack on Levi felt like an attack on her.

Aubrey took another deep breath and responded coolly, though she was sure that her gaze held all the malice in the world. "Yes, Sir."

Flagon nodded and pivoted around, heading for the familiar forest where 3DMG training would take place. Aubrey followed with Kate not far behind. She would put up with Flagon for now but if need be, she would take things into her own hands.

She would give Levi until noon to show up. If he wasn't in front of her by then, there was nowhere in the whole world that he could hide to keep her from finding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I felt like this chapter was a bit better than the last but I wanted to apologize for the lack of Levi... He'll be in the next chapter, I promise.
> 
> Any guesses about where Levi could be??? LOL. I feel like it might be kind of obvious, but maybe not. Either way, next chapter will be the CONFRONTATION chapter so GET READY. Some real good conversation is gonna go down.
> 
> You know the drill with comments. I love them. They make my day. I love talking to you all. Please talk to me. Okay, thank you, bye. :)


	15. Chapter 15

Training was slow and agonizing. To Aubrey, every second felt like an eternity and even the feeling of the summer breeze in her hair didn't grant her a reprieve. Today was standard 3DMG training and the endless drills of formations and battle tactics had Aubrey's mind wandering to more important things. Or maybe just one important thing.

Aubrey had spent the entire morning distracted and her peers had started to notice. Kills that were usually done flawlessly were just a bit on the shallow side and responses to commands were just a bit delayed. Kate had been the first to address Aubrey's inattentiveness but Aubrey had simply brushed it away, muttering something about having a headache and not getting enough sleep.

After the endless amounts of flipping, dodging, jumping, and drilling, lunch time finally arrived and, for the first time in a very long while, Aubrey felt scared. Levi had yet to show his face or grace her with his presence and Aubrey had grown really and truly scared for his well-being. He could have been hurt, dying, bleeding. Or maybe he had run away and she would never see him again. Or maybe he was really just being an idiot and ditching training. No matter what the real situation was, it didn't change the fact that Aubrey could feel a gaping hole in her chest. Her fear of the unknown was eating her from the inside out and she could feel both her energy and her patience draining with each passing minute.

Aubrey inhaled deeply, focusing on patching the pit in her heart. She needed to find Levi. It was now or never and if it was going to be now she needed to be focused and centered.

Closing her eyes, Aubrey allowed herself one long pause to ground herself. She needed her emotions gone. The hole in her chest just wouldn't do and in a situation like this, her childhood lessons would come in handy. Feelings were messy, subjective, and in some situations, such as this one, unnecessary. At this moment, Aubrey had a clear mission with a clear goal. She would count to three and when she opened her eyes, she would have only her objective in mind and nothing would be clouding her judgement. She would be logical and clear, but most of all she would be emotionless.

One.

Two.

Three.

Aubrey inhaled and snapped her eyes open. Her feet moved forward immediately and she moved through the crowd of soldiers precisely, avoiding bumping any of them as they made their way to the Mess Hall for lunch. Aubrey vaguely registered Kate calling after her but she kept her eyes straight ahead. The dark-haired girl was the least of her concerns at the moment.

Aubrey's steps were determined as she made her way to the most obvious location that Levi could be hiding in. The place to start was the barracks. Aubrey didn't really give a second thought to entering the male dorms. Everyone was at training, so it wasn't like there would be anyone to stop her.

Aubrey moved hurriedly but meticulously along the dirt path and stopped only to throw open the door of the wooden building. She scoffed. No one had even bothered to lock the door.

Aubrey stepped in, following the route to Levi's room that she had taken only once before. She'd taken care to memorize the way last time. She had figured it might come in handy to know where the troublemaker resided and she had been right.

Easily navigating the twists and turns of the hallways, Aubrey finally came upon the room she had been searching for. Without hesitation, she reached for the brass knob and turned it, flinging open the door with enough force to make it smack against the inner wall with a loud crack.

It didn't take long for Aubrey's eyes to land on the two people within. Furlan was sitting on the bed to the right, the sheets perfectly folded without a single wrinkle except for the ones that formed around where he put pressure on the bed. On the other side of the room, Isabel sat in nearly the exact same position, the only difference being that she had one foot propped up on the knee of her opposite leg. Aubrey took a moment to notice the bucket of suds in the corner as well as the strong scent of bleach in the air. They'd been cleaning.

Aubrey strode into the room and turned to address Furlan first.

"Where is he?" Her voice was apathetic and monotone and her question was almost more like a statement.

"Huh?" Furlan, who had previously been too shocked to react to Aubrey's dramatic entrance, stood abruptly and stepped toward her. He towered over her small frame but Aubrey didn't waver in the slightest as she reworded her question.

"Where is Levi?"

Furlan's expression twisted from one of confusion to one of anger and annoyance.

"Now, look here. You don't just get to come barging in here and demand to kn-"

"He went for a walk."

Both Aubrey and Furlan turned to look at Isabel who was still in the exact same position but had added a disinterested stare to the mix.

"He left this morning after telling us that this room had better sparkle like the stars by the time he got back. But being the butt that he is, he didn't mention when that would be or where he was going, so I can't help you there."

Aubrey nodded toward her as a sign of thanks and stepped away from Furlan. The blond man now seemed to be frozen in place in a dumbfounded shock as he stared down his friend. His eyes screamed betrayal and Aubrey knew that Isabel would be getting a firm talking to the second she left. Unluckily for Isabel, that didn't take long. Aubrey turned on her heel and exited the room just as quickly as she'd entered it, the clack of her boots echoing through the hallways of the barracks as she continued to think.

A walk, huh? Could it really be...?

Aubrey had an idea and she wasn't wasting any time starting the next step of her search. Aubrey found herself once again on the dirt path that weaved through the Scout Regiment campus. But this time, she didn't take the obvious road to the castle and instead veered off for an all too familiar detour. She headed for the treeline, moving briskly and decidedly, her mind set only on reaching her destination as efficiently as possible. The weeds whipped Aubrey's ankles as she stomped along the overgrown trail that led deeper into the forest.

After a few more minutes of trekking through countless forms of greenery, Aubrey finally stepped into the clearing she had been so adamantly searching for.

It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for.

Levi was sitting on the grass of their peninsula, the wind ruffling his charcoal hair and pushing the strands into his eyes. He had one arm extended to the side and pushed into the ground as it propped him up and into his seated position. His legs were stretched out and crossed effortlessly in front of him while his other hand held the very same book that she had caught him with a few days before.

For just a moment, Aubrey felt her mental state falter. He was so gorgeous that she could hardly take it. He was wearing his military uniform but the 3DMG straps were absent and his jacket had been splayed out underneath him like a blanket separating him from the dirt beneath him. The light grey, long-sleeved shirt that he wore clung to his torso and put his hardened muscles on display. And as if that wasn't already enough, Levi's skin glistened in the patches of sunlight that made their way through the branches of the trees and he had an almost ethereal glow.

Aubrey felt her breaths coming faster but she quickly reeled herself back in and returned to her emotionless state. She had a mission to complete. It was absolutely necessary that she get Levi back to the training field and come up with a valid excuse for him before Flagon could get carried away and report to Erwin. Aubrey was going to get him back to the castle even if it meant she had to drag him there.

Aubrey continued her walk forward and rapidly approached Levi. She was sure that he was aware of her presence by now but he didn't show it. He simply stayed perfectly still, his only movement being his eyes scanning the pages of his book.

When Aubrey reached him, she didn't hesitate. Reaching down, she wrapped her hand around Levi's wrist and yanked, pulling him up from the ground and his book falling to the earth. Immediately, she turned, still gripping his forearm, and began hauling him back in the direction she'd come from while fighting against his grunts of resistance.

"Oi!" Levi finally acknowledged her existence and began trying to get her attention through words.

However, Aubrey didn't respond. She was still in her detached state and his yell went in one ear and out the other. She could hear him but his protests did not even register in her brain.

"Hey, brat, let go of me!"

Again, Aubrey disregarded his defiance and continued. She had to admit though, she wasn't making much progress. Levi was physically stronger than her and her attempts to drag him were failing horribly. Even with all of her might, Aubrey could only get him to take the occasional step forward.

"Oi, what is wrong with you?!"

The words rang through the air and suddenly a chill crept across Aubrey's body. She felt something break within her. Her hard facade cracked unexpectedly and suddenly a pained and hurt expression covered her face.

Aubrey unintentionally loosened her grip on Levi's arm and he snatched back his wrist in an instant, rubbing the spot where Aubrey had left a red mark. Levi stared down at the hand-shaped imprint on his skin and vaguely wondered how a girl of Aubrey's size could have such incredible strength. Even when she had been dragging him, he'd had to fight back with all his might in order to avoid being taken against his will.

However, his awe was interrupted when he noticed the look on Aubrey's face. Her features were scrunched up and twisted as if she'd just been suckerpunched. Levi felt panic rise within him. Was she hurt? Had he hurt her? He didn't remember doing anything that could have caused her pain. He'd only snatched his hand back.

"Everything."

Levi observed Aubrey, confused. Her shoulders were slouched forward and she'd spoken so softly that he wasn't really sure she'd spoken at all.

"What?"

Aubrey continued to speak just barely above a whisper, her tone broken and lost. "Everything is wrong with me."

Levi paused, processing her words. When they finally set in, he grimaced as he realized his mistake. He'd hurt her, but not in a physical way. Levi reached out to her, intending to lay his hand on her shoulder but his plan failed when Aubrey came to him instead. Gently, she took his left arm into her hands, twisting it ever so carefully and examining the mark she had left with a sad expression.

"Levi... I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you..."

For a moment, Levi found himself unable to speak. The expression on Aubrey's face was enough to tell him that his careless words had struck a deep nerve, and yet, she was only concerned about him. She was now stroking the angered patch of skin on his wrist with a tenderness that Levi had never experienced before and it left him breathless. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to comfort her or how to apologize. He wasn't even sure if saying sorry would make things better or worse. Very few times in his life had he ever felt the need to comfort someone. But seeing Aubrey so beaten and broken made an ache form in his chest.

"Oi, you're not the one who did the hurting, here." Levi spoke as strongly and surely as he could and slowly moved his free hand to capture Aubrey's wrist, effectively stopping her intensive inspection of the mark she had left.

He pulled her closer until he could feel the heat emanating off her skin. He tried to catch her eye but Aubrey had glued her gaze to the ground. Using his free hand, Levi placed a finger under Aubrey's chin and gave a gentle tug, silently asking her to meet his eyes. At first, she resisted but when he asked again, giving the soft pull on her jaw, she gave in and raised her stare to meet his.

Levi looked down into Aubrey's somber eyes. They quivered under his scrutiny and he felt as though he could see her spirit being crushed within her. Levi opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He was at a loss for words, but then again, he'd never been good with them in the first place. Instead, Levi figured that he would use his strengths to his advantage. He'd always been good with actions, so that's what he would try.

Carefully, Levi dragged his hand up from under Aubrey's chin and cupped her cheek. At first, she looked a bit shocked but her widened eyes and parted lips quickly melted into a more hungry expression as she pressed her head against Levi's palm.

Now it was his turn to be shocked. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but Aubrey's positive response left him feeling a little caught off guard. He didn't really know what to do next but he tried to allow his instincts to take over. Hesitantly, Levi brought Aubrey's captured hand to his chest and then continued to wrap his now free arm around her back, pulling her into an awkward embrace. He'd never been big on physical affection and this was the best he could do.

Levi was sure that Aubrey could hear the pounding of his heart against his ribcage as she pressed her face into his chest. Trying his best to move slowly and softly, Levi removed his hand from Aubrey's cheek and placed it on the back of her head, holding her to him and allowing his fingers to tangle into her light blonde strands. After exhaling deeply in a feeble attempt to calm his racing heart, Levi lowered his head and allowed his chin the rest on Aubrey's hair.

Oddly enough, the fire wasn't quite as intense as he would have expected it to be. Rather than flashing its all-consuming bursts of electricity it was dull and low. The previously ravenous fire had turned to a low pulse, almost an ache wherever their bodies touched. Which was almost everywhere.

The two of them stayed there for a long while, neither of them really knowing what their embrace symbolized or meant but not really caring enough to figure it out. Both of them were simply happy to have the contact, the support, the care of another human being.

Aubrey listened as the warm breeze rustled the leaves of the ancient trees around them. The calming sounds of the swaying water and the chirps of the summer birds were enough to begin to bring her back to reality. She had let her past come forward. Levi's words had broken through her barricades and walls that she had spent so much time and effort to build. What is wrong with you... Aubrey felt another pang of pain as she repeated the words in her mind. If only he knew...

The warmth of Levi's embrace held her together and she began clutching at his shirt desperately, afraid that, without him, she would fall to pieces. Oddly enough, Aubrey held no feelings of contempt against him. His words hadn't been aimed at hurting her necessarily, it had just been his strange assholey manner. There was no way that Levi could have known the effect his speech would have on her. She didn't blame him for her pain, only herself. She'd let her barriers crumble so easily and just because it was him. She had let herself become too vulnerable and now she was paying the price.

"Aubrey..." Levi's smooth voice broke Aubrey from her stupor of self-hatred.

Suddenly, Aubrey felt Levi begin to pull away from her and she realized that she desperately needed him to stay. The support of his arms was the only thing keeping her from shattering on the ground. She needed him to hold her, to hold her together.

"Wait!" Aubrey's voice was low and breathy but the urgency was clear as she yanked on the cloth of Levi's shirt, trying to pull him back to her. "Please... don't let go yet..."

Levi was a bit stunned and a bit bewildered but he listened to Aubrey's request. He was in no position to deny her. As gently as he could manage, he retightened his arm around her back and let his chin drop back down to her head.

Just as Levi was beginning to think about how he should put his apology into words, Aubrey spoke up, her voice muffled as she continued to rest her cheek on Levi's chest.

"I'm sorry, Levi."

Levi felt another rush of alarm and annoyance go through him. He obviously hadn't been clear enough that he was the sorry one.

"Oi, my arm is fine. You need to stop sayi-"

"I'm not talking about your arm, Levi." Levi was caught off guard by her interruption and he picked up his head to look down at her.

"What do you mean, brat?"

Aubrey sighed and Levi felt her body quiver in his arms. Her breaths were shallow and he could feel her leaning on him for support. He was worried, he realized. Aubrey had always come across as so unshakeable, so resilient, and he had never imagined he would see her like this.

"I'm sorry that I do this... I-I... I never thought that I would... lose control."

Aubrey's stuttered sentences weren't helping Levi to understand in the slightest. If anything, he was only getting more confused.

"You're not making sense, Aubrey."

Aubrey inhaled deeply and took a moment before lifting her head from Levi's chest. She wanted to look him in the eyes while she spoke to him and she was starting to feel the pieces of her soul fuse back together. She would still need Levi close, but she could stand on her own now.

Taking a step back, Aubrey allowed her hands to fall to her sides and Levi followed suit. He looked somewhat relieved but Aubrey didn't know why. Perhaps he was just happy that he didn't have to hug her anymore?

"Listen, Levi." Aubrey gathered her thoughts and spoke with a sureness that she didn't know she possessed. "We keep doing whatever this is and it's not helping either of us. I don't know about you, but I'm confused, I'm frustrated, and I'm angry, but most of all, I'm vulnerable. Something about you in particular has thrown me through a loop and I can't seem to unwind myself. Every time I'm around you, hell, every time someone even mentions you, my brain goes haywire. I can't think straight! I get mad when someone insults you, I get excited by your touch, and then I have a breakdown in your arms! What is that, Levi?! Because I don't know and it scares me!"

Aubrey took another deep breath. Her heart was pounding as her emotions twisted around within her, but she wasn't done yet. "We need to sort this out. Now. Because... I don't think I can take it much longer." Aubrey wrapped her arms around herself, squeezing the ache in her chest. She was starting to shatter again, but this time she would hold herself together.

Levi was dumbfounded. He'd never pictured Aubrey going on a rant, but then again, he'd never really pictured her having a breakdown, either. His brows furrowed and he tried to calmly think about where to begin. Whatever he did, he knew he had to speak soon. Aubrey was shivering but he knew it wasn't from the warm summer air.

After a slight pause, he finally spoke. "Well then I guess we should start with what happened yesterday. But first, sit your ass down. You look like you're about to fall the fuck over."

Aubrey shot him a dazed glance but, to Levi's surprise, she followed his orders and folded her legs underneath her on the grass. Levi wasn't far behind as he reluctantly set himself down on the ground, very aware of the dirt and filth beneath him. He faced her, staying close just in case she couldn't support herself even in a sitting position.

Aubrey eyed him. "Talk."

Levi felt his own eyes go cold. He wasn't comfortable with this sort of thing at all.

"Tch. I'm... sorry that I left you in the hallway."

Aubrey arched an eyebrow. "That's it?"

Levi sensed an angered flush cover his cheeks. "Well what the fuck do you want me to say?"

Aubrey returned his sentiment with a frustrated speech of her own. "Goddamn it, Levi! You tried to kiss me yesterday and I want to know why!"

Levi had started fuming. He was feeling such a flurry of emotions that it was becoming very difficult for him to keep his usually stoic expression. He could feel blood rushing to his cheeks in what he thought was embarrassment and frustrated fire swirled in his chest. He clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms in an attempt to control himself. Apparently, it worked because he managed to speak without an overwhelming amount of bitterness in his tone.

"I already told you why."

Aubrey's mind flashed back to the last time they had been at this very same pond. The memory seemed like it was from weeks ago rather than just yesterday. Just yesterday, Levi had told her that he "liked her", though Aubrey didn't really feel like that was the answer she was looking for. Liking someone was different than pinning them against a wall outside the Mess Hall and liking someone didn't mean avoiding them for the whole morning afterward.

Aubrey sighed, trying to find a way to iterate what she was thinking.

"Levi, why did you miss training this morning? I was really worried about you..." Perhaps Aubrey would find some answers in his reasons for his avoidance.

Levi leaned forward, bringing one of his knees up and laying an arm out to rest on it. His head turned downward as he prepared himself to speak. He had been expecting this question eventually but the thought of answering it made the knot in his chest grow tighter.

"Because I can't be close to you."

Aubrey attempted to meet his gaze but Levi kept his eyes plastered to the ground. His body language had taken a complete shift. His back was arched and slumped and his head curved down. He looked defeated in a sense.

"What do you mean?"

Without moving, Levi replied. "I can't afford to care about you. It's simply not an option. I have enough shit on my plate as it is. I can't do this."

Levi managed to finish without revealing his inner turmoil; his voice had remained steady. But he knew that the battle wasn't over yet. He sat still, patiently awaiting Aubrey's response, which was destined to be one of hurt or offense.

"I feel the same."

That had not been what the answer he was expecting. Levi's eyes flashed up to meet Aubrey's. To his surprise, she didn't look upset at all. In fact, she looked relieved. Levi's eyebrows furrowed. What he'd said hadn't exactly been uplifting, yet Aubrey looked as if she'd had a huge weight taken from her shoulders. Her green eyes shone with a new sense of reprieve and her posture had relaxed into a casual position with her arms extended behind her, supporting her frame.

"What?"

Aubrey shot him a gentle smile, attempting to ease his racing mind. "I feel the same. I also can't afford to care about you and I also have enough shit on my plate."

Levi continued to be stunned. He didn't know what to think, let alone say and so he just ended up staring at her, mouth slightly agape.

Aubrey chuckled. His reaction was quite amusing and for a moment, his scrunched face brought a smile to her face. However, her joy was short-lived as she realized that Levi would be expecting some kind of explanation for her words. A frown graced her lips as she began to speak.

"Levi..." Taking a deep breath, Aubrey gathered her thoughts and finished. "I've... lost people... in the past. They were everything to me and I... I failed to protect them. So, when it comes to you... I can't afford to let this happen. Because, if I do, and I lose you, I don't think that I'd be able to come back from it again."

Aubrey lifted one arm from the ground behind and brought it to her chest, holding her heart as she felt physical pain shoot through it. Just the mention of her former friends was enough to make her eyes sting with tears. But the thought of Levi joining them in being only fragments of her memory... it was enough to cause her whole body to seize up and cower in fear. She had to stop this now. If he died now, it would have a detrimental effect on her. But if she let it go further, if she let this become more than it already was... if she moved to make him hers, she was sure that his death would leave her crippled beyond recovery.

"Tch. You'd never lose me. At least, I'd never die at the hands of those man-eating shitholes if that is what you're referring to?"

Aubrey's eyes swiveled upward to meet Levi's. His gaze was sure and steady, not a sliver of uncertainty anywhere in his steely stare.

"How can you be so sure? You've never been out there, you've never seen what those things can really do." Aubrey gave him a serious stare. He was underestimating the strength of the monsters that lay beyond the walls.

"I've survived too much just to get eaten."

Aubrey watched as Levi's eyes took on a sheen of sorrow. As Aubrey had suspected, he'd seen more of the darkness in the world than the light.

"Hm... if only it were that easy." Aubrey glanced up and toward the sky where she examined the fluffy, white clouds that graced the sky.

"It is that easy, brat."

Aubrey sighed and closed her eyes but kept her face toward the sky. The sunlight felt nice on her skin.

"Well, what should we do then?" Aubrey spoke softly and quietly, whispering into the passing breeze. "We can't be around each other and yet, I don't think I can stay away from you, either."

Levi scoffed at his predicament. As much as hated to admit it, he felt the same way. Letting her get close to him wasn't an option but the thought of letting her go was equally as torturous.

"Well, I can think of somewhere in the middle."

Aubrey finally turned her head back in order to see his face, her light blonde hair tumbling down and around her shoulders.

Levi inhaled sharply. The sun was flickering across her features, casting shadows and contours across her face. She was mesmerizing.

He barely managed to choke out his offer. "Friends?"

Aubrey giggled and flashed him a blindingly bright smile before nodding. "Friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OooOOooO! How do we feel about the supposed "friend zone"? Considering the fact that this a love story, I can assure you that we'll move past it eventually but hOw abOUt thAt CONVERSATION? The truest form of romance is a good convo. Mmmm hm. Anyway, I'm sorry that this chapter went up a bit later but it ended up being longer than I had anticipated. I really hope that you enjoyed reading and PLEASE leave a comment! I have been LOVING interacting with all of you. Thank you for all of the support!


	16. Chapter 16

This was going to be hard. Aubrey knew it the second that her agreement came out of her mouth. After settling their disagreement, her first instinct had been to run to Levi and envelope him in a hug. But, that wasn't what friends did. So, reluctantly, she held herself back.

Levi was in a similar situation. He'd thought that putting some distance between himself and Aubrey would give him a sense of relief but instead, he only felt a sort of longing in the pit of his stomach. The boundaries that he'd put in place were now simply begging to be crossed. With an internal groan, Levi realized that his actions had created for him his own, personal, forbidden fruit.

Suddenly, Aubrey sprang up from the ground, a look of horror on her face. She'd forgotten the very important reason that she'd come for Levi in the first place. She had to get him back to the training field.

"Oh my God! Levi!"

Levi bolted up from his sitting position, worry plastered all over his face. Was something wrong with her? Was she hurt?

"What? What is it?!" Levi spoke loudly and with a manner of urgency.

"I have to get you back to the training field!"

Levi's concern instantly melted into annoyance. "Jesus, that's it? You were acting like the fucking sky was falling."

Aubrey rushed over to him and yanked on his arm, the familiar fire zinging through her fingertips. "It very well might be if Flagon reports that you skipped to Erwin! The penalty for skipping is almost always very severe!" Aubrey began tugging on him even harder and while he gave some resistance, she could tell that he was going along with her. His fight wasn't nearly as strong as it had been before.

Levi scoffed and scooped down to pick up the book that he'd dropped earlier. Gently, he used his free hand to bang its cover against his pant leg, removing the dirt that had gathered there. "Like I'd ever let that bastard punish me."

Aubrey continued to drag him but looked back to shoot him a glare of warning. "Do NOT underestimate Erwin. He is a force to be reckoned with when he wants to be."

As much as he hated to admit it, Levi already knew this. Erwin was a force to be reckoned with and he had learned it through first-hand experience.

"What does he care if I don't show up to training? I already know how to use my gear better than most of those other brats."

Aubrey gave him an exasperated look. His ability to really, truly, not care was astounding to her. "Levi, being in the Survey Corps is just like any other job. Not showing up to training is like not showing up to work. And just because you're good with the 3DMG doesn't mean that you know everything there is to know. A lot of the training that we do is team building, which is something that you could definitely improve upon."

Levi scoffed again. Team building was pointless to him. Why did he need a team if he could just take them all down himself?

"Tch. Whatever."

Aubrey shook her head at his vague response. "Whatever my ass. Flagon has been a real shitstick lately and if you don't show up soon he's sure to report you. Even if you do show up now, he'll definitely still be snitching that you missed the whole morning. But, I think that if it's just a morning, I should be able weasle you all out of anything that's too bad. I'll tell Erwin that you all had a bug."

Levi's mind flashed to his companions. He'd ordered Isabel and Furlan to clean the room for the sixth time since their arrival and had then made his way to the pond. His experience with Aubrey outside the Mess Hall had left him more rattled than he'd have liked to admit and he just hadn't wanted to see her. She confused him too much. Obviously, he couldn't let Isabel and Furlan go anywhere without him, so he left them behind and went somewhere quiet to think. Perhaps he should have sent them to training...

Levi's mind returned to Aubrey's earlier statement. One part of it had made him simultaneously interested and disgusted. "Erwin really trusts you that much?"

Aubrey unexpectedly slowed their pace and her brows scrunched together. It looked as though she was thinking intensely, making sure that she said the right thing.

"Yes, he does... Erwin trusts my judgement. So, if I judge you to be the kind of person that he should let off just this once, I think he will respect my decision."

Levi raised a brow at her emphasis. "Just this once?"

Aubrey nodded and gave him a serious look. "Yes, just this once. Erwin may trust me but he's no push over. If you get yourself in trouble again, I won't be able to help you." Aubrey came to a stop and placed her free hand on her hip, cocking an eyebrow at him. "This is me telling you as a friend that you should keep your butt in line."

Levi grimaced inwardly at the sound of the word 'friend' on her lips. It just sounded so wrong.

"Yeah, well this me telling you as a friend that friends don't hold hands like this."

Confusion flickered across Aubrey's face as she took in Levi's now smirking lips. Holding hands...? Suddenly Aubrey became very aware of the warm fingers interlaced with hers and the fire that was now scorching her palm. She sprang back, quickly releasing Levi's hand and shaking out her own, trying to rid herself of the lingering flames. She didn't even remember when her hand had mysteriously slid down Levi's forearm and into his palm. And not only had she been holding his hand, she had really been holding his hand. Like, fingers laced and everything.

Aubrey stared down at her palm in disbelief. It was like her muscles had a mind of their own.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't even realize that I-" Aubrey cut herself off. She didn't even know what to say. She was dumbfounded by her own actions.

Levi sniggered at her. Her eyes were the size of dinner plates and she was staring at her hand like she was afraid it would disappear the instant she looked away. However, his smirk quickly faded as he felt the cold air against his palm and, for a brief moment, he regretted having told Aubrey at all.

Levi shook his head. He couldn't think like that anymore. He'd made a pact with himself to keep her at arm's length. It was the best solution for the both of them. If what Aubrey had said was true, and she was afraid of losing someone, then it was best for her to stay away. Levi's purpose wasn't exactly the most honorable and he knew that he would be gone the second his mission was complete. There was no other option.

"Stop stuttering like an idiot. You said we had to get back to the training field, so let's go."

Levi walked past Aubrey, repressing his urge to look back at her as he passed.

Soon enough, he heard the rustling and crunching of leaves underfoot and Aubrey appeared at his side. He couldn't help but notice that she had her arms crossed over her chest, squishing both of her hands to her sides as if she were attempting to restrain them. The sight made him surprisingly bitter but he once again reminded himself that her actions were his own doing.

"Um, right... We'll have to fill in Isabel and Furlan when we get them. Ya know, let them know to be on their best behavior and stuff."

Levi curled his lip. The idea of telling Isabel and Furlan to act like dutiful little soldiers was disgusting to him. However, it was the right move for now. Staying out of trouble was to their advantage. As much as Levi hated the blond bastard, he had a goal, and getting kicked out of the Scouts or being put on permanent stable duty wasn't going to help him reach it.

Levi internally came to terms with his predicament and decided to do something that was quite out of character for him. He decided to trust Aubrey. It was true that she was their best bet at getting out of trouble but, still, it felt like a big step for him. If it wasn't for her, he probably would have skipped all day and then tried to kill the Commander on the spot the second he tried to tell him that his punishment was shoveling horse shit for the next month. But something about Aubrey made Levi want to put aside his usually brash actions. For once, he would sideline his pride and place his trust in another.

"Fine. They'll do whatever you tell them."

Aubrey turned to him, a bit perplexed. "They will?"

Levi nodded and kept his gaze straight ahead. "Yes."

A small smile made its way to Aubrey's lips and she shifted her eyes to the ground. Levi was placing their fate in her hands. The idea pleased her beyond belief.

"Right. Good. I'll do my best." Aubrey donned a determined expression. She too knew that this was a telling moment for Levi and she was going to do her best to prove herself to him. Even though there were boundaries between them, Aubrey still wanted to help Levi. While she might be able to halt her feelings from going any further, she couldn't reverse how far her heart had already come. She would do everything she could to protect Levi because, as much as she hated it, she already cared too much.

Levi gave her an affirmative nod as the two of them stepped through the treeline. Aubrey glanced up at the sky, noticing that the sun was starting to pass its peak position in the sky. Lunchtime was certainly over and done with and everyone else would be back on the field. She sighed. Now she would have to cover her own ass as well.

Aubrey glanced at Levi, having a sudden shift in mood as an idea came to her mind. Her green eyes sparkled with mischief as she uncrossed her arms and readied herself.

Playfully poking Levi in the side, she hollered over her shoulder as she began to run in the direction of the dorms.

"Race you to the barracks! Loser is the biggest brat of all!"

Levi froze. He couldn't believe the ridiculous scene unfolding before him. Aubrey was sprinting away from him, giggling all the while. Her antics were childish and immature and yet, before he knew it, he was racing after her, his legs pumping and pushing as hard as they could. Levi had lost to her once before and, absurdly, his ego had been hurt, even if he tried not to show it.

Aubrey quit her chuckling when she looked over her shoulder to see that Levi was indeed participating in her little contest and he was closing in fast. She knew that he was likely quicker than her but she'd been banking on his momentary shock to give her a head start. And, while she had gotten the advantage, she'd underestimated his true ability. Levi was barreling forward at much faster pace than she'd predicted.

Putting her head down and focusing, Aubrey pushed her body to its limits as the barracks came into view. She was not going to lose her own challenge.

But she did.

Levi's hand smacked against the wooden planks of the barracks several seconds before her own and Aubrey fell to ground, both from disappointment and exhaustion. For a moment, she couldn't even express her frustration and had to simply lay on the dirt, catching her breath. Levi had seriously given her a run for her money.

"I... win..." Levi huffed out his words. He was hunched over with his hands on his knees as his chest heaved. It seemed that he, too, had given it his all.

Aubrey lifted her head to send him a death glare.

"You don't... have to... rub... it in..." Aubrey was still finding it difficult to speak as the oxygen slowly returned to her body. She dropped her head back down to the ground, staring up at the cloudless sky.

Levi straighted, seeming to have recovered enough to speak smoothly.

"Oi, brat, get up. We've got work to do."

Aubrey crinkled her nose at his choice of words. She'd said that the last one to reach the barracks was 'the biggest brat of all' and she was now regretting her challenge. She'd unintentionally given him permission to use the label for her whenever he pleased and she would have to accept it. She'd brought the situation upon herself.

Suddenly, a hand blocked Aubrey's view of the sky, extended in an offering. Aubrey took it and placed her palm against Levi's, feeling the recognizable blaze, and used their combined strength to pull herself from the ground.

Somewhat ungracefully, Aubrey made it to her feet. Hesitantly and somewhat reluctantly, Aubrey released Levi's hand and pressed her palm against her leg, trying to erase the left over tingling sensation.

An awkward and silent moment passed before Levi regained his composure and spoke up.

"Let's go get them, brat." Levi sneered the last word and felt a smirk come to his lips.

Aubrey felt a wave of lighthearted irritation run through her. Levi was teasing her.

She reached out and gently smacked his arm.

"Are you mocking me, Levi?!" A grin covered Aubrey's face and Levi's expression mirrored hers.

Aubrey felt her heart drop to her stomach. He was smiling. She'd seen Levi give her all kinds of smirks and sneers and she'd even seen him give her genuine small gestures where his lips turned up at the corners. But now, he was really, truly smiling. His teeth shined and glinted in the sun and Aubrey felt as though she would go blind if she stared too long. The way that his cheeks pulled up the entirety of his face and the way that his eyes creased ever so slightly at the corners... it was enough to leave Aubrey breathless. He looked so... youthful.

Pure bliss ran through Aubrey's veins and she felt excitement bubbling up in her throat.

"You're smiling!" Aubrey couldn't contain herself and she blurted out the obvious. She was just so thrilled to see Levi without his permanent frown.

However, as fast as the smile had come, it was gone.

"I am not." Levi returned his face to its usual stoic expression.

Aubrey began to panic, quickly placing both of her hands on Levi's cheeks and attempting to push them back into a haphazard smile.

"Oh, come on! Don't stop! You looked so happy!"

Levi swatted at her hands. "Oi! Stop that!"

"Hey, what's all the ruckus out here?"

Aubrey and Levi halted their squabble and turned to look at the familiar figures in the door of the barracks. Furlan stood with a look of amusement covering his features and Isabel peeked out from behind him, her eyes widened and her lips slightly parted in awe.

Levi and Aubrey quickly stepped away from each other, Levi turning his attention to straightening his ruffled clothing and Aubrey occupying herself with inspecting her nails.

"I don't know what you mean. We were just on our way to get you two." Levi finished picking a speck of dirt off his pants and raised his eyes to examine Isabel and Furlan.

Furlan seemed to be on the edge of breaking out into a fit of laughter but he must have decided to contain himself because he spoke with only a faint quiver in his voice.

"On your way to get us? Why?"

Levi deadpanned. "We have to go to training."

Furlan's features shifted from amusement to angered confusion but Isabel broke into the conversation before he could speak.

"Eh?! Training? I thought you told us we weren't going to training today! You even called it a 'pony playground full of useless brats'..."

Aubrey couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her mouth but she quickly covered it with a cough when she received a glare from Levi.

"Tch. Well, we're going now. And from here on out, you'll follow Aubrey's instructions, got it? I don't care how dumb things seem, just do what she tells you."

Finally, Furlan found his opportunity to protest. "Huh? Why are we following a little girl's orders?"

Levi took a step forward, his fists clenching and his eyebrows furrowing. His steely eyes shot holes through Furlan as he sent him a chilling glare. "You will do what she tells you, understand?"

The intensity in Levi's voice caused Furlan to take a step back, bumping into Isabel. It had been a long time since he'd seen Levi assert himself and the hostility in his tone took him by surprise.

"S-Sure, boss. Whatever you say."

Sensing the tense atmosphere, Aubrey approached and placed a comforting hand on Levi's shoulder. He was being a bit more overbearing than necessary. She didn't think the frigid stares and intimidating stance were needed in order to get Furlan and Isabel to cooperate.

Levi turned his eyes to Aubrey as he felt her touch and his gaze instantly softened. She was giving him a gentle smile and a slight squeeze was all the reason he needed to begin relaxing his tensed muscles and clenched fists.

As soon as Aubrey was satisfied with Levi's return to normality, she removed her tingling hand from his body and announced her intentions.

"Right, well, do your best to work with me and I'll do my best to save your asses from the scariest man inside the walls."

Furlan scrunched his face in confusion. "The scariest man inside the walls?"

Aubrey smirked. They underestimated her friend's true abilities.

"Yes. Commander Erwin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I'm sorry that this update was a bit delayed... I keep telling myself that I'm going to update every other day but that never happens... Anyway, I feel like this chapter came out pretty well even if it was a bit more fluffy than usual :) I hope everybody enjoyed it and as always, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT! I love them :))))))))


	17. Chapter 17

Furlan sputtered and laughed, even going so far as to bend over and place his hands on his knees as he underwent his fit.

Aubrey simply stared at him, waiting for him to calm down and face her. She was not amused by his blatant disbelief of her words. All of them needed to be more careful around Erwin or they would end up regretting it.

Eventually, Furlan looked up from his hunched stance, small, unrestrained laughs still escaping his lips.

"That bumbling buffoon? The scariest man inside the walls?" Furlan turned his head down and smacked his knee as his fit of laughter resumed.

"Oi! Sort yourself out and listen to what she has to say." A shred of anger and annoyance could still be heard in Levi's voice but he seemed to be controlling himself.

Aubrey crossed her arms over her chest as Flagon reined in his laughter, obviously too scared of Levi to disobey him.

Flagon pounded his chest a few times and cleared his throat, trying to appear calm.

Aubrey raised an eyebrow, silently asking if he was finally ready to let her speak.

"Um, please... proceed."

Isabel snickered behind him at his awkward situation but Flagon's hand quickly flew back to cover her mouth.

Aubrey sighed but began to explain herself. "First things first, you're all going to be in very big trouble. You skipped training and that is a very serious offense in the Survey Corps."

Flagon rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but one look from Levi was enough to force him back into his shell of compliance. Patiently, all of them waited for Aubrey to continue.

"However, lucky for you, I happen to have a certain sway with the Commander and I believe that I can get you out of punishment if you follow my instructions, which are very simple."

Aubrey scanned their faces, looking for any sign of protest. When she found none, she continued. "Stay out of my way and don't speak. Don't say a word to Erwin or to anyone else until I give you the okay to do so. This is not a matter of making Erwin believe some story about how you all got sick, even if that is what we tell him. Erwin will see right through that charade. This is a matter of me convincing Erwin to let you off easy."

Furlan and Isabel held flabbergasted expressions and Levi's features were covered in his usual, cool look.

Since no one added anything, Aubrey went on.

"Again, keep your mouths shut. Avoid conversing with anyone unless it is absolutely necessary. Keep to yourselves and put your heads down at training. I will go to find Erwin and make my case."

Aubrey released a long breath and kicked the dirt with her boot. She was really dreading her imminent conversation with Erwin. He really was scary when he wanted to be.

"Well then, let's go." Levi's voice broke the silence. "You two, go get your gear and grab mine. And put this away." Levi flung his book at Furlan and he caught it easily. The instructions flowed effortlessly out of his mouth and Aubrey watched carefully as Isabel and Furlan stumbled back into the barracks.

As soon as their backs had disappeared into the building, Levi turned to Aubrey and opened his mouth.

"Thank you."

Aubrey's eyes widened in surprise. She had never expected such brazen gratitude from Levi. She'd taken him for the type that found it hard to accept help.

She smiled, happy that he felt comfortable enough with her to be vulnerable.

"Don't worry about it. I believe that I once told you 'I owed you one'. Consider us even."

Levi nodded, thinking back to the time that he had raced Aubrey in the woods. Back then, he hadn't really thought that such a 'favor' would really amount to anything. Now, he was grateful that he'd accepted, even if it only meant he wouldn't have to shovel horse shit.

"Right."

Levi turned his gaze to the ground and examined the grass as it swayed in the breeze. He still wasn't used to it. The outside, that is. His years in the Underground had made him grow accustomed to dark and lifeless surroundings. So much so that, when he was brought above ground, it had nearly been too much. The sun was so bright, the breeze was so gentle, the leaves were so colorful. Everything had been blinding and distracting. But that had only made Levi solidify his goal even further. Now that he had seen what lay above, there was no way that he could go back to the Underground... no matter what it took.

"They're good friends."

Levi was broken from his trance when Aubrey spoke quietly next to him.

"They respect and care about you. I can tell by the way Furlan cradled that book like it was a baby when he took it inside." Aubrey chuckled at her own words but her smile quickly morphed to a frown as memories of her own life pooled within her mind.

"Keep them close, Levi. Don't let them slip away."

Levi turned to her, simultaneously intrigued and concerned. Aubrey's tone had switched from playful and teasing to mournful and forlorn in the blink of an eye. Her gaze was cast downward but Levi could still see the sadness that lay on her features.

He found himself at a loss when he tried to respond. He didn't know what kind of images were swirling behind Aubrey's eyes, but he didn't want her seeing them anymore. Tears were building at the corners of her eyes and threatening to trail down her cheeks.

Upon seeing her so visibly in pain, Levi felt an overwhelming urge to touch her, to hug her, to tell her everything was alright. But he couldn't. Aubrey was not his to touch. That would definitely cross their 'friends' boundary and those rules had been put in place for a reason.

"I won't." Those two words were all that Levi could manage to push past his tight lips. He truly was helpless in sensitive situations.

To his surprise, Aubrey flashed him her signature grin and her eyes instantly lifted. She brought a hand to her face, delicately wiping away the impending tears.

"Good."

Right then, Furlan and Isabel reappeared in the doorway of the barracks.

"We're back! Here, Big Bro!"

Isabel raced past a still frazzled Furlan and dumped Levi's set of 3DMG and straps in his arms.

Aubrey giggled at Isabel's use of her pet name and placed a hand over her mouth to hide her smile. 

Levi shot Aubrey an annoyed and knowing glance but took extra care to examine her features. She'd returned to normal, all traces of her recent break erased from her face. She looked as sprightly as ever, if not even more so.

Levi furrowed his brows, worried. Just seconds ago, she'd been on the verge of tears and now she had put on a mask of pleasantness. Levi knew that beneath her smile, she was still hurting. And yet, there was nothing he could do.

"Good. Suit up." Levi returned his attention to his two friends, joining them in donning their gear.

Levi's fingers worked seamlessly as he did up each of the buckles on his straps. He'd done this process hundreds if not thousands of times over and every movement of his hands was second nature.

Aubrey watched intently as Levi finished putting on his gear. His gracefulness was astounding and she'd been absolutely mesmerized by how smoothly he had worked the straps up his body, finally slipping his arms through the openings at the top.

She was barely able to tear her eyes away from his figure before he caught her gaping. But, just as Levi looked to her, she averted her gaze to Isabel and Furlan, who were nearly finished assembling their gear.

Aubrey could feel Levi's stare burning into the side of her head as she watched the two finish their last buckles. They, too, were obviously familiar with the gear, but their movements were not quite as smooth as Levi's had been.

"Okay, we're ready." Furlan finished attaching the last of his 3DMG and looked over to see Isabel at the same stage.

"Good. Come on, then."

Aubrey turned on her heel and began a brisk walk toward the training field. She kept her eyes straight ahead but she didn't fail to notice that Levi situated himself beside her, his stride matching hers.

Aubrey fought the urge to shoot him a side glance and clenched her hands into fists in order to avoid a situation similar to the one from before. Aubrey fought a blush as she remembered the way she had so easily laced her finger with his. Levi was like a magnet to her. When she was around him, her body naturally gravitated toward him, mirroring his movements. There was a pull between them, one that she had to consciously resist in order to maintain their boundaries.

Aubrey trudged along the worn dirt path and squinted as the training field came into view. It appeared that everyone was still engaging in their regular training. A couple of groups were scattered across the open grassland while others made their presence in the woods known through the recognizable clanking and crackling of the 3DMG.

Aubrey quickly scanned the field, looking for any sign of Erwin. And, while she had been looking for him, Aubrey found herself a bit surprised when her eyes landed on him. He was staring straight at her.

Aubrey swallowed and felt sweat cover her palms. It had been a long time since she had seen Erwin look so intimidating.

Suddenly, her step faltered and her pace slowed. Aubrey no longer felt quite so confident in her abilities. She hadn't been joking when she'd said that Erwin was scary. Not only was he physically threatening, but Aubrey knew that his mind could outwork hers. That was the thing that made him truly terrifying. Aubrey knew that she was intelligent, likely more intelligent than most. But Erwin... he was on another level. The two of them had played games of chess together at the beginning of their nightly tea times but their matches had quickly become redundant. Erwin beat her every time. When it came to tactic and method, Erwin was unmatched.

Aubrey dug her nails into her palms and set her jaw. She was determined to do this. She would go down fighting if she had to. If Erwin was disappointed in her, that was a loss that she would have to take. His disapproval would be a severe blow to her conscience. Erwin was, at the moment, the most important person in the world to her and until very recently, he had been the only person in the world that was important to her. Of course, her comrades were always in her mind and she would sacrifice herself for any one of them, but they simply didn't hold the same sway as Erwin. He was her everything. He had been the only thing that held her together when she was being torn to pieces. He was her pillar, her stone, her rock. Aubrey's loyalty to him was undying and she knew that she would go to the ends of the earth to gain his approval.

Suddenly, Aubrey felt a trail of flames along her wrist. Glancing down, she deduced that Levi had run a finger along her forearm, trying to grab her attention. She raised her eyes to meet his steely ones. His expression was hardened, refusing to allow any crack of emotion or feeling slip through. For a moment, Aubrey admired his ability to hide behind his walls so effortlessly. It was one of her skills that she had let fade a bit too much.

Aubrey returned to the present when Levi gave her a small and yet somehow reassuring nod and allowed her to step ahead of him. Aubrey looked back as he, Isabel, and Furlan veered off to the left, going to find Squad Flagon and join in whatever exercise they were running.

Aubrey turned her gaze back forward and said a silent prayer for herself as she saw that Erwin's stare was still boring a hole into her head. She was doomed.

Taking a quivering breath, Aubrey continued on, her legs wobbling and shaking beneath her. She would do it for Levi.

"I think we have something that needs to be discussed." Erwin spoke before Aubrey had even come to a full stop before him.

Trying her best to keep a cool exterior, Aubrey responded. "Yes, I think we do."

Dread filled Aubrey's chest as she took in Erwin's face. His eyes were hard and stony, their usual warmth fading away to an icy blue. His normally soft smile had been replaced by a hard line and Aubrey shuddered. Without his gentle aura, Erwin became a frightening power.

Without warning, Erwin turned and started toward the castle, leaving Aubrey to trail behind him.

Their walk was silent. Neither spoke and Aubrey felt her anxiety growing with each quiet moment. It wasn't as if silence was uncommon around Erwin, but this silence was different. The air was filled with anticipation and apprehension and a bead of sweat dripped down Aubrey's neck.

The sound of their footsteps echoed off the castle walls and Aubrey gulped as Erwin came to a stop outside of his office door. Erwin cooly reached for the brass knob and pushed the door open, its hinges creaking as the old wood swung.

Erwin turned his gaze to Aubrey, the same steely expression on his face. He didn't speak but it was obvious that he was waiting for her to enter ahead of him.

Aubrey sighed. He was a gentleman even in anger.

Reluctantly, Aubrey stepped into the office that she knew so well. The familiar room didn't seem quite as homey and calming as it usually did. Now, its charm had disappeared and the atmosphere had Aubrey on edge.

"Have a seat." Erwin followed Aubrey in and locked the door behind him.

Aubrey followed his direction and shakily made her way to her usual spot on the couch. Its lightly worn, green fabric provided her some comfort and Aubrey gratefully took the opportunity to lower her quivering body onto its plush cushions.

Aubrey watched carefully as Erwin determinedly made his way across the room and took his seat behind his desk. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and folding his hands in front of him.

Aubrey intended to start the conversation but no matter how hard she wracked her brain, she couldn't seem to think of what to say or where to start. The look on Erwin's face was still sending shivers down her spine and it rendered her unable to speak.

"Where were you?"

Aubrey sighed, thankful that Erwin had spared her from unbearable silence, but also dreading the coming conversation.

Aubrey pulled herself together and forced her lips to move. "I was with Levi."

Sparks flew in Erwin's eyes and Aubrey could have sworn she saw his jaw clench. He continued his questioning but his tone held malice and bitterness.

"Doing what?"

It was Aubrey's turn to feel sparks of irritation. She internally flinched as she realized what kind of thoughts were probably going through Erwin's mind.

After taking a moment to collect herself, Aubrey responded cooly. "He and the other two were sick. They were missing from training this morning and I got worried. During lunch break I went to check on them. When I found them, they were all feeling better, so I rallied them and brought them back to training."

Erwin unfolded his hands and crossed them over his chest, leaning back in his chair. "Flagon reported that you ran off against his orders. And those three should have disclosed their illness if they were going to miss training."

Aubrey couldn't help the look of distaste that graced her features at the mention of Flagon. He really was a little shitstick. "Well, Flagon just wanted to be able to report that they'd been missing all day so that they'd get an even bigger punishment. And those three are new to the military. They don't know all of the rules and regulations yet."

"And you're sure that those three are fully recovered from their illness? It must have been very short-lived if they are now feeling well enough to train."

Aubrey swallowed. This was the point of no return. Erwin had seen through her excuse, as she had expected, and now she would have to call upon his trust in her. Although, he was likely feeling a bit deceived already, which meant that this may be a bit more difficult than usual.

"Perhaps they ate something off at dinner last night. But, that's beside the point. What I'm asking is that you trust me on this, Erwin. Flagon is not fond of his new recruits and he just wants to see them shoveling horse shit. Plus, I think both you and I know that it might be a good move to avoid angering Levi any further. You yourself said that he was dangerous."

Erwin hummed and turned his head to look out of the window behind him. The sunlight streamed in, forming a glowing aura around him.

For a moment, all was silent. Aubrey unconsciously held her breath, awaiting her friend's response. He seemed in no rush to reply, which only left Aubrey hanging in agony, though she did her best to hide it.

Finally, after an eternity, Erwin turned back to her. His eyes were distant and tired but Aubrey was relieved to see that the iciness from earlier had dissipated.

"Very well."

Aubrey felt the air rush from her lungs as she released a breath.

"Thank you, Erwin."

Erwin gave her a small smile and Aubrey melted at the sight. She was unbelievably happy to see her friend return to his usual state.

"But I have to add a few things."

Aubrey's breath hitched in her throat but she couldn't say she was surprised. She hadn't really expected Erwin to let her off that easily. Nodding, Aubrey signaled for him to continue.

"First, I want you to keep some distance between yourself and Levi. As I said before, he is a dangerous man and I don't want to see you getting hurt, physically or emotionally."

Aubrey felt a light blush rise to her cheeks. It was obvious that Erwin had picked up on whatever was between her and Levi and now he was concerned for her emotional well-being. Aubrey appreciated the sentiment but the idea of Erwin getting involved in her love-life was a bit embarrassing.

Nevertheless, Aubrey didn't see any reason to object to his request. She and Levi had already put boundaries in place themselves, so following Erwin's order wouldn't be all that hard.

Aubrey nodded, agreeing.

"Good. Second, I want you to keep your eyes open when you're around them. I won't ask you to be a spy, but please, watch for any red flags. I am not afraid to admit that I do not trust them in the slightest and I worry that their blatant dislike for this regiment may show itself in ways that I cannot predict."

A queasiness formed in the pit of Aubrey's stomach. She didn't feel quite right about 'reporting' anything to Erwin, but she figured if she truly saw any red-flags she would have told her friend regardless of whether or not he asked her to be on the lookout.

Aubrey nodded again, agreeing for the second time.

Erwin released a tired sigh and proceeded to word his third statement.

"Finally, I would like to remind you that you can always come to me, Aubrey. If Flagon was acting up, you could have come directly to me and this whole debacle could have been avoided. And if you were, for some reason, concerned about the recruits receiving punishment, you know that I will always listen to what you have to say."

Erwin flashed his gentle smile and Aubrey's heart melted. He was the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

Aubrey stood from her spot on the couch and made her way behind Erwin's desk, leaning down to envelope him in a hug.

Aubrey felt such overwhelming affection for her friend that tears pricked at the back of her eyes and her words came out breathy and shaky.

"I know. Thank you, Erwin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it is. I hope everybody enjoyed :) PLEASE let me know what you think and leave a comment. Comments give me life. Thanks :)


	18. Chapter 18

Aubrey hurried through the corridors of the castle, anxious to inform Levi of her success. Erwin had placed his trust in her and then sent her back to training after mumbling something about getting back to his paperwork. Aubrey giggled as she remembered how flustered he'd been after she'd embraced him. Apparently, the Commander of the Scout Regiment wasn't used to hugs.

Aubrey smiled as she broke out of the confines of the castle and into the dying sunlight of the day.

The sun was dangling above the horizon and Aubrey realized that training would be ending soon. Hoping to catch Levi before everyone headed for the Mess Hall, Aubrey increased her speed.

Her feet padded against the worn dirt and Aubrey went over a small hill as the training field came into view. However, the smile that had been there just seconds before quickly faded to an expression of aggravation and irritation.

Just below, Flagon was visibly yelling at Levi, though he was still too far off for Aubrey to be able to make out his words. But whatever he was saying, it wasn't good. Levi's muscles were coiled and he looked like he was about to pounce.

If anything, Aubrey was annoyed by Flagon's arrogance. A part of her hoped that Levi hit him, just to make the Captain shut up. But, Aubrey couldn't let that happen. If Levi struck a superior officer, even she couldn't protect him.

Taking off at a brisk walk, Aubrey approached Flagon from behind. Levi saw her coming and she shook her head, signalling to him to ignore Flagon. However, just at that moment, Flagon opened his mouth to spew even more hateful words, along with a raised fist.

"You ignorant punk! Listen to me when I'm speaking!"

Aubrey's eyes widened as Flagon's fist sailed through the air, headed straight for Levi's left cheek.

Frantically, Aubrey leaped forward and gripped Flagon's forearm, bringing his swing to a stop mid-air.

"Captain." Aubrey voice was low and threatening, obvious warning in her tone.

Flagon whipped his head to the side, finally noticing Aubrey's arrival. He was speechless, his mouth opening and closing hopelessly. Aubrey eyes held all the malice in the world and the crushing grip that she held on Flagon's arm was enough to make him stumble back, half out of pain and half out of fear.

"W-What do you want?!" Flagon finally found the courage to speak and attempted to nonchalantly rub his aching forearm.

Aubrey crossed her arms over her chest, her features a mask of cold stone. Heat raged through her body and tightness coiled in her muscles. Flagon had been about to hit Levi and the very idea of the stupid Captain laying a finger on him made Aubrey's bones quake. However, she couldn't allow her fury to erupt: that would only cause more problems. Instead, she put on the emotionless mask that she had perfected over the years. Lately, it had been coming in handy quite often.

"Captain, I suggest that you lower your voice and take a look around you."

Heeding her words, Flagon glanced around him. Several of the other groups had stopped their training to watch the fiasco before them. Many of them had shocked expressions and some were whispering to each other under their breath.

Realizing that his own reputation was at stake, Flagon did as Aubrey had advised and quieted his voice.

"Fine. But you should be in just as much trouble as these three thugs. You ran off against my orders." Flagon was hissing under his breath, his displeasure seeping through with every word.

Aubrey raised a disinterested eyebrow. "I'll have you know that I just went to see Erwin. He's decided that the recruits are to be given a warning with no punishment. They are not familiar with the Corps rules yet and they were sick this morning. They didn't know that they were required to report their illness."

Sore disbelief flickered across Flagon's face before he scoffed. "Going straight to the top, eh? I'll never understand the kind of influence you have over that man. You must be real good in bed, Aubrey."

Aubrey froze. Ice ran through her veins and roots sprouted from her feet, cementing her to her spot. Was that what Flagon thought of her? Was that what everyone thought of her?

Ice turned to flames in an instant and suddenly Aubrey didn't care about the consequences of hitting a superior officer. Flagon was going to get it.

Yet, before she could pull her feet from the roots that held her, Aubrey saw a seething Levi rush past her. Without time to comprehend what was happening, Levi was gripping Flagon's collar, yanking and pulling so forcefully that he was nearly lifting him off the ground.

"What did you just say?" The boiling hatred in Levi's voice was enough to make the hairs on the back of Aubrey's neck raise. She'd never seen anyone so... furious. Levi's eyes were wide, his usually steel colored irises glinting a wild blue in the sunlight. His lips were curled back, exposing those blindingly white teeth that Aubrey had been admiring no more than an hour before. Except, this time, Levi was most definitely not smiling.

Aubrey could sense the pure, unadulterated enmity radiating off Levi's being and it unsettled her. She didn't like seeing him so overwrought.

"L-Let go of me!" Flagon was struggling, grasping and ripping at Levi's arms but Levi didn't even seem to notice. His attention was focused solely on Flagon's face, searching for something invisible to Aubrey.

"How dare you spit such absolute shit." Not an ounce of malice had slipped from Levi's voice and his grip on Flagon's shirt tightened even further.

By now, there were more than just a few whispers in the air. The atmosphere was buzzing with gasps and hushed conversations. Aubrey's eyes shifted slowly as she spotted a single figure making her way through the crowd, looking for the source of the action: Captain Saru.

A flurry of curse words ran through Aubrey's head. Captain Saru was a reasonable woman but it would be hard to explain Levi's death grip on Flagon's collar.

Ripping her feet from the grip of shock, Aubrey pushed herself forward. She approached, frantic on the inside, but doing her best to maintain a calm exterior.

Aubrey placed a firm hand on Levi's chest, pushing gently. "Levi, let him go. He's not worth it."

Levi's fiery eyes shifted to Aubrey but his grip held firm. "Did you hear the shit that this-"

"Levi, please." Aubrey interrupted before he could say something that would only put him even further in the hole. With a bit more force, Aubrey pushed against his chest again, silently pleading with him to let their Captain go.

Levi hesitated. He really didn't want to let Flagon down. He deserved to be beaten to a pulp for what he'd said. And yet, Aubrey's eyes implored him to step away, to be merciful. Her hand on his chest was like a cool pulse, calming his fury and his tense muscles.

A final glance at Aubrey's features was all that Levi needed to make himself step back, grabbing Aubrey's palm with his now free hands and pulling her close to him. At the moment, no invisible boundaries were going to stop him from keeping her at his side.

Though he had released Flagon from his grasp, Levi was still fuming. Aubrey could feel his body shaking next to her and his grip on her hand was a bit too tight to be comfortable.

Throwing their 'rules' out the window, Aubrey moved in front of Levi, blocking his view of Flagon. Aubrey weaseled herself out of Levi's clutches and brought her hands up to place her palms on both sides of his face. Gently, she pulled his forehead down to meet hers. Fire erupted where their skin touched but Aubrey found it a welcome distraction from the disaster around them.

"Levi... calm down."

Levi's fists clenched so tightly that his nails broke the skin of his palms. "How can I be calm after that?" His words came out as a low and breathy growl.

Aubrey sighed, flipping one of her hands over to stroke Levi's cheek. "This is not the time to be angry. You can do that later. For now, trust me and calm yourself."

Levi's breaths shuddered in and out as his mind churned. Every fiber of his being told him to push Aubrey behind him and pummel Flagon to the ground. But Aubrey was asking for his trust... and something about the trust between them was becoming unbreakable. He couldn't fathom denying her and so, reluctantly, Levi nodded and began steadying his breaths.

"Oi! What's going on over here?!" Captain Saru's powerful voice rang through the field and demanded the attention of all who heard it.

Giving Levi's cheek one last stroke, Aubrey turned herself around, pressing her back against his chest.

"Saru! Get your ass over here and help me with these-"

"We had a simple disagreement, Captain. I am sorry for the turmoil it has caused." Aubrey cut Flagon short before he could continue his blind rage but it only shifted his attention to her.

Stomping over to close the short distance between them, Flagon leaned down close to Aubrey's face, his breath hitting her skin.

Sensing what was coming next, Aubrey reached behind her and squeezed Levi's arm, asking once again for his trust. He tensed and Aubrey heard him grunt angrily, but he didn't make any sort of movement.

"Listen here, Aubrey. Your little boyfriend, or whatever he is, just assaulted his superior. Now, I don't care how much influence you have with Erwin, he can't let that slide. I'll be reporting this incident to him immediately and then we'll see who has the real influence." Luckily, Flagon was speaking quietly, his voice low and threatening. While his intention was probably to be more intimidating, Aubrey was just happy that he couldn't be heard by anyone else.

"And will you also be reporting to Erwin that you implied I am sleeping with him? What about the part where I had to stop you from striking a subordinate over a silly argument?" Aubrey raised a mocking eyebrow and Flagon's face paled. The idiot hadn't even thought about the consequences of his own actions. "Back off, Flagon. If you do that, nobody gets any punishment."

Flagon gritted his teeth and set his jaw, animosity flaring in his eyes. After another pause of consideration and hesitation, he finally acquiesced, stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest. Aubrey scoffed. He looked like he was pouting.

"I asked what was going on here?"

Aubrey turned to see a now very near Captain Saru. Her face held a disinterested expression and her hands were placed on her hips. Dark circles hung under her eyes and her lips were set in a slight frown. The poor woman looked exhausted. For a brief moment, Aubrey forgot her anxiety and felt sorry for her. As Captain of the Special Operations Squad, she had nearly as much paperwork as Erwin.

Shaking her head clear, Aubrey returned to the present and answered her superior. "As I said, Captain, we had a silly disagreement. It has been resolved now. Thank you for your concern." Aubrey bowed her head and gave a firm salute.

Saru sighed and shifted her focus to her fellow Captain. "Flagon, is this true?" Her voice was bored and drained.

Aubrey held her breath. Flagon's answer would determine the outcome of this entire situation.

"Yes. These shitwadds were late getting back from lunch and I gave their asses a good talking to."

Saru raised an eyebrow. "Is that all?"

Aubrey could see distrust hidden in her eyes but apparently Saru didn't care enough to pry any further. "Well, fine then. Less work for me."

Saru turned on her heel and walked off, back to wherever she had come from.

Aubrey released the breath she had been holding. The majority of their fight was over. Now she just had to hope that nobody in the crowd ratted them out. Most of the regiment had seen Levi grab Flagon, but they had also heard Flagon dismiss it in front of Captain Saru. Aubrey hoped that would be enough to deter any tattle tales.

Stepping forward, Aubrey addressed the final tension in the air. "Flagon."

Flagon shifted his stance just enough to send her a cold glare. "What now?"

Aubrey sighed. "Whether we like it or not, this is still a squadron. Because of that fact, I am willing to forget what you said earlier."

"Aubrey!" Levi's angered voice rang out behind her and Aubrey turned, raising a finger in a silent request for him to be patient.

Levi shifted his stance and muttered something unintelligible under his breath, but made no move forward.

Aubrey returned her attention to her Captain. "But... from now on you will treat these three with the utmost respect. They are members of this squad and no matter how you feel about them, they offer this regiment a considerable amount of strength. So, for once, try thinking before you speak and be civil."

Flagon was too astonished by Aubrey's bold words to answer and so she took the opportunity to restore the oxygen to her lungs with a deep breath before continuing.

"As for me... if you ever disrespect me in that manner again, I will personally see to it that you regret it for the rest of your days. No Erwin involved. Understand?"

Aubrey did her best to maintain her calm facade but she sensed that her anger was beginning to seep through the cracks. Waiting as patiently as she could, Aubrey watched as Flagon's expression flickered from one to the next. Aubrey was fairly sure that it was mostly just a roundabout of anger, humiliation, and possibly fear, but eventually, Flagon arrived at a stopping point. With a huff, he turned and grunted.

"Whatever. Just get your asses back to your training."

Aubrey sighed, feeling the embers of her fury melt away. That was truly the best she would ever get from Flagon.

Relieved that Flagon hadn't objected to her orders, Aubrey returned to Levi, eyeing him in an attempt to read his feelings. However, Levi had put on his familiar cold mask and his features were set into hard stone. Isabel and Furlan, on the other hand, had a mixture of expressions. Aubrey realized that the shocked look they usually held after she touched Levi was no longer quite as prominent, but their faces held plenty of other emotions. Both of them looked angered yet somehow calm, as if they were feeling their fury totally but holding themselves back. Their gazes were trained solely on Levi, awaiting his response.

Aubrey shifted her attention back to their leader. Levi was staring her down, his gaze smoldering and intense, his eyes being the only part of his face that gave away any kind of feeling.

Aubrey faltered. Should she reinstall their boundaries? The thought caused a twinge of pain in Aubrey's chest. She knew it was for the best and yet she still couldn't bring herself to be happy about their separation.

Scanning Levi's features one last time, Aubrey decided she would allow herself one last indulgence. Then she would go right back to the rules. Besides, Aubrey thought Levi needed some serious reassurance before he snapped someone's neck.

Aubrey reached out and grabbed one of Levi's hands, lacing his fingers with hers and bringing their hands up into the small space between their bodies. Gently, Aubrey raised her other hand to brush stray strands of ebony hair out of Levi's glinting eyes.

"I can tell that you are upset but now is still not the time to show it. We have training to get through. It's only a couple more hours... then you can go... break something or whatever." Aubrey gave a sad laugh at her choice of words. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't picture stone-cold Levi taking his anger out on a poor, inanimate object.

Levi remained silent except for the firm squeeze that he gave her hand. Aubrey gratefully returned the pressure, acknowledging that it was his way of agreeing. She gave him a small smile that quickly turned to a frown. She would have to let go now.

"I'm sorry, Levi. I don't seem to be very good at adhering to our rules. I'll stop now."

Reluctantly, Aubrey stepped back, pulling her fingers from Levi's grasp and leaving one last gentle stroke across his forehead. If she weren't sure that her mind was playing tricks on her, Aubrey would have sworn that Levi's body moved forward as she pulled away, his hand twitching to grab her retreating one. But just as quickly as the movement had come, it was gone, and Aubrey was left with a cold and icy feeling wherever her previously burning skin had been touching Levi. 

Pushing aside the hole that was forming in her chest, Aubrey plastered on a fake smile and spoke to the three recruits. "Right, well, I'm very sorry about the Captain. He was out of line and his actions were uncalled for. Please accept my apologies on behalf of the Scout Regiment."

Aubrey received nothing but blank stares from all of them and so she awkwardly continued.

"On a better note, I spoke with Erwin and he has pardoned all three of you. Though, you probably already figured that out..." Aubrey rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly and let her eyes fall to the ground. Attempting to lift the crushing atmosphere, Aubrey gave a lighthearted laugh. "So that means no stable duty for you! Anyway, we have to get back to training so we should go..."

Silence hung in the air and Aubrey suddenly became very aware that most of the Regiment was still watching her every movement. No one was speaking or whispering anymore, just staring at her with awe. She figured that it probably had something to with the fact that she had just publicly told off and threatened her Captain in addition to the fact that she had just given such a display of affection to the scary new recruit. But it wasn't the attention itself that bothered Aubrey, it was the gnawing worry that someone would report the day's events to Erwin. She really didn't want to have that conversation with him.

Luckily, at the moment, it didn't seem like any superior officers were in the vicinity. Saru had retreated back to her squad and promptly entered the forest and the rest of these soldiers were meandering underclassmen hoping to buy time before getting back to training after lunch.

"Let's go then." To Aubrey's surprise, it was Levi who broke the tense silence. He covered the short distance between them with a few confident strides and gave her a reassuring nod. "Lead the way."

Aubrey's smile shifted from fake to genuine and she did her best to send him a thankful glance before nodding back. Pivoting on her heel, Aubrey followed in the direction that Flagon had left. She could see him sulking next to a bored looking Kate in the distance. Aubrey sighed. It would be awkward for quite a while but it was necessary that they get through it. Eventually, everything would go back to normal, even if normal wasn't all that great.

Steeling herself for what was to come, Aubrey hardened her gaze and prepared for what would seem to be the two most life-sucking hours of her existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, Y'ALL. I FEEL MY MOTIVATION TO WRITE STARTING TO WANE SO PLEAAASSSSEEE LEAVE ME A COMMENT. Nothing motivates me more :) I'm currently rewatching AOT to try and get some inspiration but COMMENTS NEVER HURT. PLEASE, I AM A COMMENT PIG.
> 
> Okay, moving on to the actual chapter. This was kind of a transition chapter but I think that the next couple of installations will be JUICY so get hyped. Also, I have a question for you guys... Do you think that Levi is out of character in this fic? I've been writing him as a bit more "loose" and "hot-headed" than he might be portrayed in the anime but that's because of the time period. Levi is still very young here and probably hasn't matured to be quite as stoic as he is in the canon AOT universe. Also, he has yet to go through many of the traumatic experiences that will have happened to him by the time he reaches the canon AOT time period. Anyway, I genuinely wanted to know if you think that he's out of character??? I'm trying to make this fic as well-written as possible and an unrealistic version of Levi is NOT what I want. Let me know what you think. It would be greatly appreciated :)


	19. Chapter 19

Aubrey could have sworn that she felt her soul leave her body several times before training ended. She had been right about the atmosphere being awkward. Flagon had done some strange mixture of barking and mumbling when he gave orders and Levi's stony exterior would occasionally crack to reveal the death glare that he was hiding from the Captain. These incidents would result in Aubrey giving him a warning glance and a light touch on the shoulder which were almost always followed by some sort of teasing comment from a very entertained Kate.

Isabel and Furlan had kept their mouths shut for the most part but Aubrey would periodically catch them staring a hole into the back of the Captain's head. However, she wasn't quite so worried about those two... they seemed to have a pretty good grip on themselves.

As for herself, Aubrey couldn't deny that she felt somewhat trampled and humiliated. Flagon's mention of her supposed influence over Erwin had left her feeling mortified and confused. For the rest of the day she had been left wondering if that was the opinion of the entire regiment. Somehow, she didn't think that could be the case. Aubrey got along well with nearly all of her fellow soldiers and she liked to think that she was generally respected. She always did her best to be upbeat and kind, even if it went against her instilled nature. And while Aubrey didn't have many close friends apart from Erwin and perhaps Hange, she considered all of her comrades important. She knew everyone's name, where they were from, how long they'd been with the Scouts, and what squad they were on. People said hello to her in the Mess Hall and always seemed happy to have the occasional chat. Because of all that, Aubrey just couldn't picture her comrades assuming she was sleeping with their Commander. Surely, if that were the case, she wouldn't receive the inherent respect that she had become accustomed to.

Aubrey was broken from her thoughts when a deafening and familiar ringing filled the air.

The dinner bell.

Aubrey flinched as the sound bounced against her eardrums. It was so obnoxiously loud that she had sometimes considered breaking it in the night in order to force Erwin to find some other kind of signal. She never did, though; she wanted to avoid giving him any extra work.

Even if the cacophonous sound usually caused Aubrey to frown in disgust, today it signified the end of an eternity of torture. And for that reason, she grinned.

"Alright! Pack it up and get outta here!" Aubrey heard Flagon call out the order from somewhere behind her in the forest but she was already on her way to the treeline, flipping and spinning through the dense woodland with a sense of glee. The idea of getting away from Flagon made her heart soar with relief.

Though, perhaps she had been a bit too excited because Aubrey quickly remembered the set of three recruits that she had neglected to escort out of the forest. Slowing her pace, Aubrey glanced behind her. Yet, to her surprise, Levi was right on her tail with Isabel and Farlan trailing closely behind. Another smile graced Aubrey's lips. She'd momentarily forgotten their skill with the 3DMG. It was no wonder that they could keep up with her.

Turning her attention back forward, Aubrey broke through the treeline and gracefully landed in a patch of dying sunlight. The sky glowed a blazing orange, trails of gentle pinks pressing against the pattern of clouds on the horizon. The air grew crisper by the second and Aubrey breathed it in, relishing in the icy feeling that cleared her lungs. After a long day of stress, humiliation, and anxiety, a glimpse of the setting sun was a welcome distraction.

Finally, after a long pause to take in the beauty before her, Aubrey tore her gaze away. Looking to her right, she was surprised to find a familiar trio at her side. All of them looked to be enraptured by the sight before them and Aubrey thought that she could make out just the slightest bit of awe in Levi's features. Isabel appeared as if she were on the verge of tears and Furlan was staring open-mouthed. It was almost like they'd never seen the sun set.

Aubrey's lips turned down and into a deep frown as a crushing realization hit her. It may very well have been the first time any of them had seen such a vivid sunset. Guilt and remorse swept over Aubrey like a tidal wave that never ended. She had never and never would understand the kind of life that the Underground City offered. She could only begin to imagine the shock and adjustment of joining the world above. Aubrey's frown deepened even further. She should have been more aware of this aspect of their adaptation. No wonder Levi was so enamored with the pond.

Holding in a sad sigh, Aubrey waited. Soldiers flowed past them, chatting and giggling as they made their way to the Mess Hall for dinner. Seconds ticked by one after another until Aubrey was sure that the four of them had been standing there for longer than ten minutes, admiring the dying light. Aubrey was determined not to speak: she had no right to take even a single second of that sunset away from them. If she had to, she would wait all night.

"Oi, let's go in." Levi's voice broke the prolonged silence and Aubrey raised her gaze to glance at his face. He looked distant, his eyes somewhat clouded but becoming clearer by the second. She wondered what had finally brought him back to the present.

Aubrey saw Isabel visibly shake her head and Furlan blinked a few times before snapping his half-open mouth closed.

"R-Right." Furlan struggled to form a single word and Isabel only seemed capable of slightly turning in acknowledgement.

Aubrey angled herself toward Levi, who was now staring right at her. His eyes no longer held any of the muddiness they had just a moment before and a chill panged in Aubrey stomach. Those steely eyes always seemed to go right through her.

Not really knowing what to do or say, Aubrey decided to just do as Levi had said. Slowly and hesitantly, she took a step forward. Then another. And another. After a few agonizingly heavy seconds, Aubrey heard footsteps and knew that her company was following.

The four of them continued on quietly, nobody bothering to speak. The chirps of the summer crickets were beginning to fill the air and the breeze rattled the branches of the scattered trees. Aubrey found herself appreciating the feel of the earth beneath her boots for the first time. She'd always taken it for granted.

The silence stretched all the way into the corridors of the castle until finally the clink and clatter of the Mess Hall could be heard. Just before entering the Hall, a question ran through Aubrey's mind. Would she choose to sit with Levi or would she take her usual route and eat with Erwin? Both seemed necessary. She'd been neglecting Erwin recently and after placing his faith in her earlier, she at least owed him dinner. And yet, something told Aubrey that she shouldn't leave Levi alone with his thoughts right about now. Not to mention that wandering farther than ten feet from him caused some sort of magnetic pull in her chest.

But, before Aubrey could mull over her options any longer, a strong pull on her arm knocked her off balance and left her stumbling to the side. Wildly, Aubrey glance up from her now crouched position. There stood Hange, a giddy look in her eyes as she stared down at Aubrey like she was some kind of meat.

Aubrey's stomach dropped to the floor. She'd completely forgotten about her promise to tell Hange her secrets. Her face flushed as she remembered the particular incident that Hange would be prying at.

"You'll sit with me, right?" Hange's voice was maniacal and a shiver ran down Aubrey's spine. Now that she was in Hange's clutches, there was no getting out of the interrogation that was to come. 

Sighing, Aubrey gave in. "Yes."

"Yay! Let's go! I already have a table saved just for us!" The light left Aubrey's eyes as she was dragged away but she did her best to shoot Levi an apologetic glance over her shoulder.

Before she knew it, Aubrey was being shoved onto a bench, the old wood creaking under the force. A steaming plate of food was already prepared for her and Hange promptly took a seat beside her, sitting a bit too close for comfort.

Attempting to ease her own anxiety, Aubrey reached for her fork and poked at a few green beans. Hange watched her every move with intense scrutiny and Aubrey found herself becoming more wound up with each passing second. If the tension didn't break soon, she would.

Finally, Aubrey couldn't take it any longer. "So, why didn't I see you at training today?"

"Hmm?" Hange was so lost in her own rampant thoughts that she didn't immediately register what Aubrey had said. "Oh! Commander Erwin gave me special permission to do some research today."

Aubrey's face crinkled in thought. "Research?"

Hange nodded vigorously, obviously excited about whatever topic she had been diving into. "Yes! The Garrison Regiment reported a couple of particularly strange abnormals and I was given the go ahead to take a trip to the wall and observe their behavior."

Aubrey lowered her gaze and nodded. "I see. Did you find out anything interesting?"

Hange's face fell instantly. "Unfortunately, no. There was nothing I could discern from just watching."

Even though it was the answer Aubrey had been expecting, she still felt disappointed. Nobody had ever been able to discern why some titans were abnormal and others weren't. They truly knew next to nothing about the monsters that threatened their existence.

Changing topics, Aubrey decided that she'd rather throw herself into the fire than wait to be pushed. Gathering all of her courage, she took a deep breath and asked the question that would take her to her death.

"So, Hange... what did you want to ask me?"

Instantly, Hange's head snapped up, her glasses glinting in the light and a crazed look entering her eyes. Apparently, the disappointment of her fruitless "research" had been overridden by her interest in Aubrey's situation.

"Ah, yes... Thank you for reminding me."

The tone of Hange's voice made a shiver slip down Aubrey's spine.

"Let's see... where to even begin?"

Aubrey took a deep breath. There was no reason for her to be so nervous. She didn't have to tell Hange anything she didn't want to.

"Well... I'll go with the obvious question first. What had you so overwhelmed that I found you on the floor and unable to walk?"

Aubrey inhaled calmly. She'd been expecting that one. Easy.

"I had an... intense exchange and it left me feeling a bit dazed."

Hange raised a curious eyebrow. "Exchange? With who?"

Aubrey had been expecting that one, too. Although, Hange was coming closer to the kind of question she really didn't want to answer.

"With Levi. We had an argument."

Hange's lips broke into a mischievous smile. "Oh, trouble in paradise, huh?"

Aubrey couldn't help the blush that flared on her cheeks and she leaned away. "What? I don't know what you're talking about. He just... said something rude. That's all."

Allowing locks of her (H/C) hair to fall down, Aubrey attempted to hide her obvious embarrassment.

Hange giggled in her characteristically manic demeanor but her face suddenly fell, revealing a stony and serious expression. Aubrey recoiled a bit, surprised and unsure of what the sudden shift meant.

"Well, I'll leave that alone for now... I have more pressing questions."

Aubrey's eyes widened and alarm ran through her veins. 'Pressing questions'? What could she possibly mean by that? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Aubrey was surprised that Hange would let go of the Levi conversation so easily.

"Why don't you have a roommate?"

Aubrey's blood ran ice cold. The idea that Hange would ask about her past had crossed Aubrey's mind but thinking about answering such questions was too painful to even fathom, and so, she hadn't prepared herself.

Aubrey cast a cool glance at her friend. Hange had joined the Scouts no more than a month after Aubrey had lost it all. Though, nobody would have been able to tell the pain and trauma that she'd been experiencing on the inside. Aubrey had never had a mourning phase, instead pushing forward and returning to work and training as soon as she possibly could. However, back then, she'd been attached to Erwin like glue. When she wasn't on the training field, she was in his office, eating with him in the Mess Hall, helping him with paperwork. Wherever he was, she was. In the first month or so after that expedition, Erwin had served as her own form of life support. Without his constant presence, she surely would have crumbled to pieces.

Yet, things had begun to change upon Hange's arrival. The young woman had burst into the regiment as a lone recruit. Hange had chosen to join the military at an older age than the standard twelve and was therefore always ahead of her younger peers. Because of her advanced level, she'd been allowed to graduate early and she'd promptly joined the Scouts.

After Hange's addition to the regiment, she'd quickly shown herself to be a scientific genius. Particularly because of her analysis of Aubrey's skills. After noticing Aubrey's obvious affinity for titan killing, Hange had insisted on performing "experiments" in which she could analyze Aubrey's technique in an attempt to better train the rest of the regiment. However, Hange had never been able to determine any specific traits that could be applied to other soldiers. Aubrey's skill appeared to boil down to natural talent. In spite of this, Hange had continued to monitor Aubrey through her use of periodic "evaluations".

Through the process of it all, Aubrey had found herself with the desire to get to know another person for the first time in a long time. Apart from Erwin, Aubrey had lost all interest in forming new relationships after her loss. And yet, something about Hange's unapologetic and crazed personality had drawn Aubrey out of her shell. In no time at all, she'd found herself with a new friend.

However, Hange had never asked about Aubrey's past or even mentioned it. Aubrey had always suspected that one day the topic would emerge and she would be forced to explain her history with the Survey Corps. And yet, somehow, even after all this time, she still didn't feel prepared.

"Aubrey?"

Hange's concerned voice chimed in Aubrey's ear and she realized that she'd been staring blankly at her plate. Blinking, Aubrey returned to the present.

"S-Sorry, Hange. I guess I got lost in thought."

Hange smiled, not noticing the sadness hidden behind Aubrey's eyes.

"That's alright. But, um, are you going to answer the question?"

Aubrey's breath hitched but she forced herself to respond. "Well, the Scout Regiment is generally short on soldiers. I guess there's just been enough empty rooms that I haven't had to take a roommate."

Aubrey felt fairly satisfied with her answer. It was true that there was a surplus of rooms in the barracks, so she hadn't exactly lied. But, her ability to avoid a roommate had more to do with the grace of Erwin. At Aubrey's request, he'd instructed Captain Saru to avoid assigning a second person to Aubrey's room.

"I see... " Hange looked down at her lap, he eyes clouding with indecision. She hesitated for a moment longer before she spoke again, pushing her luck. "But... that doesn't explain why half of your room is covered in dust."

Aubrey's heart skipped a beat. Hange was too curious for her own good. Her questions were going too deep and if Aubrey wasn't careful, her wounds would begin to show.

Aubrey steeled herself, trying to cut off the slew of emotions that flooded her mind. She was going to spit it out. Hange was determined to find the answer she was fishing for and wouldn't back off until she got it. Aubrey's best option was to bite the bullet.

"Well... I used to have a roommate."

Hange's brows furrowed in understanding. "Used to?"

Aubrey nodded, swallowing hard. She was going to finish out her explanation. "I used to have a roommate. She was... killed-" Aubrey choked on her own words and pounded her chest before continuing. "She was killed on our first expedition outside the walls. I've never been able to bring myself to move her things."

Genuine sadness flashed in Hange's eyes. She'd figured that whatever Aubrey's explanation was, it wouldn't be pleasant, but she hadn't considered just how painful it would be for her friend to revisit.

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Aubrey. Forgive me if I pried too far."

Aubrey slapped on a fake smile and squeezed her fists beneath the table. "Don't be. I promised to answer your questions and that was something I should have told you a long time ago."

"Right..." Hange trailed off, hesitating before she worked up to courage to speak again. "Well, do you mind if I ask you one more thing?"

Aubrey smiled even wider, the muscles in her face straining. "No, of course not. I'd rather you ask me everything you want to know right now than keep it bottled up in that head of yours. You'd go mad creating your own explanations for my endless mysteries." Aubrey forced a false chuckle.

Hange appeared to notice the contrived tone in Aubrey's voice because her brows furrowed even further. But, this was her chance to address something she'd been questioning for quite some time and she wasn't about to miss it.

"Daremo isn't your real last name, is it?"

Bad.

That was all Aubrey could think. Bad. Had Hange discovered her secrets? How much did she already know? If she knew that 'Daremo' was an alias, did she know Aubrey's true name? If she did, did she know the meaning of it?

No. Aubrey had to stay calm. Freaking out wouldn't do her any good. On the off chance that Hange didn't know her real name, or even if she didn't know the meaning of it, Aubrey couldn't afford to reveal her internal panic. That would only prove to Hange that there was, in fact, something of import and interest in Aubrey's name.

But, how should she answer? If she denied it and Hange already knew, she'd be in even deeper trouble. She would become suspicious and look even further into the matter. But, if Aubrey admitted to her deception, it would leave her vulnerable to further questioning.

Aubrey's heart started pounding in her chest. The walls were closing in around her and she could see no escape. To lie or to admit? To trust or to hide?

"Aubrey."

Feeling her thoughts halt, Aubrey recognized that the deep voice behind her had not come from Hange. A strong hand had clapped onto her shoulder and Aubrey tilted her head back to see a familiar face. Erwin.

"I hope I'm not interrupting, but do you mind if we take our tea a bit earlier tonight? I have something I'd like to discuss."

Aubrey's eyes widened. In her mind, Erwin was practically a glowing torch in the pitch dark. Scrambling to the safety of his light, Aubrey turned her gaze back to her tablemate.

"Do you mind, Hange?"

Hange most definitely minded but she couldn't really refuse a request from the Commander.

"N-No. Go ahead."

Aubrey felt a crippling weight fall from her shoulders and she rushed to get up and out of her seat.

"Thanks so much! Do you mind getting my plate for me?" Aubrey hurried her words, anxious to get away from the question that still hung in the air.

"Sure, I'll get it. Have a nice night."

Aubrey was already walking away as she called over her shoulder. "Thanks, Hange. I appreciate it."

Erwin stayed at her side, unaware of the relief that he had just granted her. Aubrey did feel a bit bad for leaving so eagerly, but she was just glad that she was able to avoid such a painful question. However, her current reprieve didn't mean that Hange wouldn't ask again. When that happened, Aubrey wouldn't be allowed to dodge the darkness any longer. She would have to come up with some kind of strategy before it came to that.

Aubrey lost herself in the crevices of her own mind and before she knew it, they were already halfway to Erwin's office.

"Oh! Erwin, I forgot to get the tea!"

Erwin chuckled at her. "Don't worry. I've already asked for some to be prepared and brought up."

Aubrey tilted her head and scrunched her brows. He'd had it brought up? That was new. Aubrey had always been the one to prepare their tea. Plus, Erwin prefered when Aubrey was the one to make his drink. He'd always told her that she made the best tea inside the walls.

"Oh. Okay." Aubrey didn't see anything wrong with having tea brought up. It just seemed... odd.

The rest of their walk passed quickly and they arrived at Erwin's office, quickly taking their usual seats and locking the door behind them.

Aubrey reached forward and began pouring the already prepared tea that had been awaiting them. It still irked Aubrey a bit that she hadn't made it herself but, nonetheless, she delicately made two cups, adding milk and sugar to Erwin's in just the way he liked it.

Aubrey stood and placed the cup on Erwin's desk before returning to her seat and taking a sip of her own tea. Her face scrunched in dislike.

"Hmm. Definitely not as good as mine." The tea was too strong and bitter. Whoever made it had steeped the leaves for too long.

"Aubrey."

The air ran cold as Erwin's voice dropped low and deadly. Aubrey shot a glance his way only to find that his expression was grave and dark. For some reason, she didn't think it was about the tea.

"Yes?" Aubrey did her best to keep her tone lighthearted but Erwin's expression was putting her on edge. He looked... angry.

"I am about to give you an order that is not negotiable."

Aubrey gulped. Erwin had never spoken to her in this way before. What had she done that had earned her such a stern talking to?

"I am taking you off of Squad Flagon."

Aubrey nearly dropped her tea cup.

"What?!"

Erwin's brows lowered even further over his eyes.

"Starting tomorrow, I will be assigning you to Saru's Special Operations Squad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys left so many comments on the last chapter! The general consensus seems to be that Levi is IN CHARACTER in this fic, so that makes me very happy :) As for this chapter, we're still in a transition phase but I think it had some juicy material. Sorry for not so much Levi in this chapter but there will be more next update. I promise.
> 
> And, another question for you all... Do you like Aubrey's character/personality??? I feel like a lot of Levi stories pair him with someone who has a very similar personality (cold, stoic, expressionless, etc.) and I wanted to switch that up with this fic and do a more upbeat character. Do y'all think it's working?
> 
> Thanks for reading and LEAVE A FLIPPIN COMMENT BECAUSE I LOVE THEM :)


	20. Chapter 20

"What?!"

Aubrey couldn't wrap her head around what Erwin was telling her. It didn't make any sense! Why hadn't he consulted her? Why wasn't he giving her an option?

"You can't do that!"

Aubrey didn't remember when she'd stood up but now she was directly in front of Erwin's desk, her hand slamming against the dark wood.

Erwin didn't seem surprised by her reaction. In fact, he looked like he'd been expecting it. His face still held its dark expression, but he was keeping calm. Slowly, he stood from his seat, his tall form towering over Aubrey.

Despite his intimidating stance, Aubrey held her ground. She was determined to get the answers that she felt she deserved. Even if she was Erwin's subordinate, she had the right to an explanation.

"Erwin, I am not switching squads!"

"Yes, Aubrey, you are. As I said before, this is not negotiable."

Aubrey slammed her hand on the desk again. "Why? Why so suddenly? And just after we discussed me keeping an eye on the new recruits! How do you expect me to keep an eye on them when we're on completely different squads?!" Aubrey's voice had risen in volume and she was practically yelling at this point.

Erwin stared down at her, his blue eyes piercing through her heart. Aubrey felt betrayed. He'd made a vital decision without even asking her opinion.

"Aubrey, I know about what occurred during training today."

Everything came crashing into place. If Erwin knew what Flagon had said, it was no wonder he was taking her off his squad. But how had he found out?

"Who told you?" Aubrey's voice had fallen to barely above a whisper. Tears were starting to form in her eyes, the humiliation and embarrassment of the day's events flooding back in an instant. Plus, it didn't help that Erwin was now looking at her with some kind of pity. No... pity wasn't the right word. It was more like guilt.

"It was Kate."

Aubrey's eyes widened. Kate? Had she even been near enough to hear the argument do down? When Aubrey had spotted her, she'd been at the treeline, much too distant to have comprehended what was being said. But, then again, that had been after the disagreement was practically over. Kate easily could have been hidden within the endless faces of the regiment. Aubrey was far too distracted at the time to be picking her out of the crowd.

Aubrey scoffed. Perhaps Hange wasn't her only new friend. Kate wasn't the type to stick her nose in other people's business. If she'd gone to the trouble of reporting to Erwin, she must've been concerned for Aubrey's wellbeing.

"I'm sorry, Aubrey. Our friendship has led to you being ridiculed and humiliated in front of your comrades. I should have been more careful to conceal our relationship."

There was the guilt. Aubrey sighed and slouched over. The fight had gone out of her. Erwin knew about the very thing she'd been trying to hide and now there was nothing left to do but discuss it as calm adults.

"Don't blame yourself, Erwin. You've done nothing wrong. You shouldn't have to 'conceal' anything for my sake. As the Commander of the Scout Regiment, you can do as you please."

It was Erwin's turn to sigh. "Still, you have been outrageously disrespected and I have half a mind to put Flagon in his proper place."

Aubrey waved her hands in front of her, panic rising in her chest. "No! Please, don't! That will only make things worse. If you did that, those three would be subjected to endless hours of needless toruture. You know he'd take his anger out on his squad."

Erwin nodded solemnly. "Yes, I do, which is why I am solving the problem in a different manner. Instead of reprimanding him, I am transferring you to Saru's squad. No one will suspect that it has anything to do with the incident. It was only a matter of time before you joined them, anyway. This way, I get you away from Flagon and you don't get any of the fallout."

Aubrey understood his reasoning and she was touched by his concern, but she wasn't ready to give in just yet.

"I appreciate what you're doing, Erwin, I really do. But... what about Levi? Isabel? Furlan? I can't just leave them to deal with Flagon's wrath. And what about me keeping an eye on them? Like I said, I can't do that if I never see them."

Erwin shook his head. "Forget about keeping an eye on them. It was too much for me to ask that of you in the first place. Even if he isn't the most astute, Flagon will keep them from doing anything too out of line."

Aubrey squeezed her hands into fists in an attempt to maintain her composure. "Okay, so Flagon keeps them out of major trouble. So what? You know he'll provoke Levi. Flagon is an asshole and he's proven that fact time and again. You should hear some of the shit he's been saying lately, Erwin. He hates those new recruits. He'll do anything to get them kicked off his squad."

Erwin exhaled loudly and once again took his seat. "I will ask Kate to keep him off their backs. You know that she is plenty capable. That is the best that I can do. I will not have you on his squad, Aubrey. That is final."

Beginning to accept her predicament, Aubrey, too, made her way back to her seat and dropped down onto the couch. Everything was silent except for the crackling of the fire that was lighting the room with a flickering light.

Aubrey's mind reeled as she sorted through everything she'd just been told. Erwin knew about Flagon's outburst. He was moving her to the Special Operations Squad. She was no longer responsible for Levi. Kate would watch out for the recruits.

Everything was happening so fast but she would have to take it in stride.

Taking a deep breath, Aubrey found the strength to speak.

"Fine. I will join Captain Saru's squad. But... I have one request."

Erwin raised an eyebrow. He was genuinely surprised to hear Aubrey acquiesce. He'd thought that he would have to fight her every step of the way. "Yes?"

Aubrey raised her gaze, her green eyes boring straight into Erwin's with a blazing intensity.

"I will not take a room in the castle."

Erwin's features scrunched in confusion. "A room in the castle?"

Aubrey nodded. "Yes. I know that members of the Special Operations Squad are given rooms in the castle but I refuse. It's a stuck up privilege. Everyone else in the regiment thinks it's ridiculous and I would have to agree."

Aubrey swallowed nervously. It was true that she thought taking a room in the castle was unnecessary but she also couldn't picture herself being able to clean out Tika's things. She wasn't ready for that kind of change.

The room remained silent for a short while before, to Aubrey's surprise, Erwin's light laughter filled the air.

"Well, I think I can grant you that request. Feel free to continue staying in the barracks."

Aubrey nodded, pleased that she hadn't had to do any kind of convincing.

"Thank you."

The silence returned and both parties sat still, looking ahead to what the future held. Aubrey couldn't believe she would be joining the Special Operations Squad. Erwin had asked her to become a member of Saru's team several times in the past but she had always refused.

Captain Saru herself was fine. In fact, Aubrey kind of liked her. She had no problem putting her soldiers in their proper place if they ever got out of line and she was very clear-cut. Were it not for Saru's aloof personality, she could see herself growing quite fond of the Captain.

But, if Aubrey was being honest, she wasn't a big fan of the other members of the Special Ops Squad. Most of them had egos that surpassed the size of the walls and weren't afraid to rub their status in others' faces.

Plus, Aubrey had always been reluctant to leave Kate. Since the last expedition and loss of most of their team, it had just been Aubrey, Flagon, and Kate. It didn't make sense to remove soldiers from a different squad that they were already familiar with just to even out the numbers. So, Aubrey had been hesitant to switch squads or even start her own squad as Erwin had suggested multiple times. She couldn't just leave Kate alone with Flagon as her only companion. That would be hell for anyone.

And now, Aubrey had yet another reason to resent her squad transfer. Even if she'd told Erwin that she didn't want to leave Flagon with the power to provoke Levi, she knew that there was more to her objection. She really was concerned that Flagon would push Levi over the edge if she wasn't there to smooth things over, but she also wanted to stay for selfish reasons. Aubrey loathed the idea of being away from Levi. She knew that during training, she'd only be able to think about what he was doing, how he was feeling, what he was thinking. And, worst of all, she knew that the magnetic pull would be yanking her in every direction. Even now, she felt the tug on her heart, pushing her to seek Levi out.

Aubrey felt a pressure come over her and she finally broke the silence, hoping to relieve her worry.

"Erwin, please make sure that Kate takes good care of them. I just... Levi will get angry and it won't be good and the other two don't deserve Flagon's shit and their skill is truly amazing and a valuable addition to this regiment and-"

"Aubrey." Erwin cut off her rambling speech with a calming tone. He gave her a gentle smile in an attempt to soothe her obviously frazzled nerves. "I will tell Kate to report directly to me if Flagon so much as insults Levi's shoes. Please, calm yourself. I know you care about their wellbeing but at the moment, I am more concerned for yours. Go to your room and get some sleep. You're probably exhausted after today."

Aubrey sighed. She knew Erwin was right. She needed to get home and try to relax, even if she wouldn't be doing much sleeping. With all of the thoughts swirling in her mind, Aubrey doubted she would even be able to close her eyes. And that didn't even take into account the inevitable nightmare she would have if she did manage to drift off.

Nevertheless, Aubrey nodded, agreeing to his suggestion. She would go back to her room, take a shower, and try to blow off some steam before starting with her new squad in the morning.

Standing, Aubrey reached for the tea set. She'd take it down to the kitchens on her way out.

"Leave it. I'll get it myself." Erwin's voice was warm and soft behind her and Aubrey set down the cup she'd just picked up. He was too kind.

Aubrey made her way to the door but paused as she placed her hand on the knob. There was still something that she needed to address, even if it would be awkward to discuss. Taking a deep breath, she slowly began to speak.

"Erwin... I have to tell you... I think I'm too far gone. I care for him too much, especially when you take into account how short of a time I've known him. And... eventually... I don't know if I'll be able to maintain our arms' length agreement. I know he is dangerous and I know that there is more to this story than I understand but... the time will come when those things won't matter to me anymore."

Aubrey released a shuddering exhale and squeezed the doorknob in her hand. Erwin didn't respond and so she looked over her shoulder to see his face. He was staring straight at her, his expression hard and stony, a shadow cast over his eyes.

Aubrey swallowed hard. It took all of her strength just to meet his gaze.

"I know that isn't what you want to hear but I thought I should tell you." Another silent pause filled the room and Aubrey turned her head back forward, unable to see Erwin's frigid expression any longer. "I'll do my best to maintain my composure until after the expedition, as I assume whatever quarrel you have with him will be resolved by then. But... after that... I can make no promises."

Aubrey ground her teeth together. Talking so openly about her feelings for Levi was causing something intense to swirl in her gut.

Quiet filled the air and Aubrey waited anxiously for Erwin's response. Would he be angry? Upset? Disappointed?

"Thank you, Aubrey. I am grateful for your honesty. Now, please, go get some sleep."

Aubrey gaped at the door in front of her. Erwin's voice hadn't sounded angered or upset in the slightest. If anything, he sounded understanding.

Even if he didn't seem mad, Aubrey didn't have the courage to look back at his expression. So, instead, she nodded her head and turned the door knob, muttering a goodnight on her way out.

When the door finally squeaked shut behind her, Aubrey exhaled in relief. She'd been tensing her entire body without even realizing it and now her muscles ached and groaned.

Slowly, she began hobbling through the hallways of the castle, making her way back to the barracks. For now, she would focus on putting one foot in front of the other. When she got back to her room, the real struggle would begin and she would allow her mind to go through as many rampant thoughts as it liked.

____________________________

After a slightly slower than average walk across the grounds, Aubrey arrived at the back of the barracks. Feeling relieved to finally be home, she flung open the door, quickly stepping into the peace and silence of her bedroom.

By now, only the faintest glimmers of the dying sunlight shone in through the window, leaving Aubrey in close to complete darkness. Feeling along the wall, she found the familiar form of the switch and flipped it on, filling the shadowed room with light.

Once glance of the now visible space was enough to make Aubrey cringe. She really needed to clean. Or at least straighten. Her "dirty" pile had grown to an unacceptable size and her "clean" pile consisted of just one clean pair of uniform pants and a shirt, plus a set of casual clothes. Apart from all that, the sheets of her bed had been kicked into a rumpled mess and the desk in the corner of the room was piled high with books, letters, papers, and any other kind of junk that one could imagine. And if that weren't enough, Tika's side of the room sat still with its thick layer of dust covering every surface. Aubrey sighed. She'd get around to cleaning things up one day... but not today.

Aubrey meandered her way over to her "clean" pile and picked out the remaining set of casual clothing. After gathering the other items she would need for her shower, Aubrey stepped out into the hallways of the barracks, making her way to the bathrooms. She took hurried but quiet steps. Most of the regiment had already retired for the evening and Aubrey was fairly sure that she would be the only one taking a shower at this hour.

Finally arriving at the bathrooms, Aubrey quickly started the water and began washing off the grime and dirt of the day. She'd been right about being the only one in the bathrooms and she definitely didn't mind. Being alone gave her the ability to freely think without interruption.

Aubrey began to run through the events of the day. It certainly had been eventful. She'd gone from confronting Levi at the pond, to begging for his pardon from Erwin, to preventing a fist fight, to avoiding Hange's interrogation, to having one of the most awkward conversations of her existence with Erwin. To think it had all happened within the span of one day...

At this point, Aubrey didn't even know which event to dissect first. For a few moments, she scrambled, reliving flashes of the day in no particular order and with no particular meaning until she finally discovered that all of her feelings and thoughts went back to the same root. Levi.

Aubrey exhaled loudly and ran her fingers through her wet hair. Levi was too broad of a topic to digest in the time it took to take one shower.

Giving up for the time being, Aubrey turned off the water and dried herself off before slipping into her casual clothes. She had all night to think: right now, she would just focus on getting back to her room without collapsing from emotional exhaustion.

Luckily, Aubrey had no issues achieving her goal and she made it back to her room in record time. Quietly shutting her door behind her, Aubrey threw her now dirty clothes into their respective pile and padded her way across the wooden floor to the light switch. But just before her hand reached its destination, an unexpected sound filled the room.

Confused, Aubrey's features scrunched together. Someone was knocking on her door. The back door.

Who was looking for her this late at night?

With growing curiosity and a hint of caution, Aubrey transferred her hand to the nearby doorknob. Taking and anticipatory breath, Aubrey opened the door just enough to identify her late-night visitor.

"Levi?"

Aubrey pulled the door back all the way to reveal her full form. Levi was standing before her, his usual emotionless expression plastered to his face. Aubrey scanned his body to see that he was no longer in uniform and that he had also changed into a casual outfit.

Aubrey bit her lip as she took in the way that the loose fabric of his black pants hung around his waist. Even with baggy clothing on, it was easy to see that Levi's body was made of nothing but sculpted muscle. His white, long-sleeved shirt was a bit more fitted and clung to him while his pants had been tucked neatly into the pair of boots that covered his feet.

"Did I wake you?"

Aubrey ripped her eyes away from Levi's body. Very aware that he had probably caught her staring, she did her best to hold back a blush.

"Oh, um, no."

Aubrey tried to think of any reason why Levi would've come to her door and suddenly remembered a conversation they'd had quite some time ago. Back when Aubrey had brought Levi cleaning supplies for his 3DMG, she'd told him that if he ever needed to speak to Isabel, he could come to her door.

"Do you need me to get Isabel?"

Aubrey was surprised when Levi shook his head and answered, "No, I didn't come for Isabel."

Aubrey's brain was growing more twisted by the second. If he hadn't come for Isabel, then why was he here?

"I came for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... can we PLEASE take a moment to appreciate the fact that I have updated TWO DAYS IN A ROW??? What can I say?? I am just a literal master of writing. (lol)
> 
> Anyway, this chapter came to me pretty quickly because I am SO excited to write the next one. What is Levi doing at her door???? Hehe :))))))
> 
> Also, I'm not really sure if the AOT universe has electricity? I don't think they do because I'm currently rewatching the anime and I think they use candles and lanterns at night. But, for the sake of me not having to go back and edit the entirety of this story so that they use candles, I am going to make an alteration to this fic's universe and say that electricity has been invented :)
> 
> Question for this chapter: Are y'all down for smut in future chapters??? Like, is that something that y'all wanna read? AND NO, THERE WILL NOT BE SMUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.
> 
> This fic is incredibly slow burn, obviously, especially when you take into account the fact that we're already at 70,000 words (CRAZY!) and Levi and (Y/N) haven't even kissed yet... Can I even call this a romance?
> 
> Just as a side note, I've never attempted to write smut before and I think that if I did my face would literally turn as red as a tomato. BUT... if that is something y'all wanna see in this story, I will power through. (Low-key might do it even if people say they don't want it just because I think it's kind of necessary for the style of this story)
> 
> If I do end up writing smut, it will be tasteful smut...if that's even a thing. What I mean is that it will be used as a way to develop the story and the characters and not just as some kind of raunchy lemon (LOL).
> 
> Anyway, let me know what y'all think. Sorry if this is a weird question to ask but I wanted to get a feel for my audience, ya know?
> 
> AND Y'ALL KNOW THE DRILL WITH COMMENTS!!! LEAVE ONE OR ELSE :)


	21. Chapter 21

"For me?"

Aubrey's heart rate was increasing by the second as Levi's silver eyes glinted in the glowing moonlight and pierced through her. She could feel herself freezing up and quickly spoke, trying to break from her onsetting stupor.

"H-How can I help?"

Levi shifted his weight and lifted his gaze to the stars. He was grateful for the dark of the night, otherwise Aubrey might have been able to make out the awkwardness on his features.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk..." Levi struggled to get his words out and his voice ended up sounding a bit more intense than he had intended.

"A walk?" Aubrey's tone was genuinely curious.

Levi nodded and shifted his gaze from the stars to the ground. "You said you don't sleep well most nights and that you go for walks. Well, I don't sleep well either, so... I figured we could go together."

Aubrey's heart skipped a beat and flames erupted within her. She wanted so badly to say yes right then and there, but something was holding her back.

"Levi... is this something that friends do?"

Levi glanced up at her. That wasn't a question he'd been expecting. If he was being honest, their boundaries hadn't even crossed his mind when he'd made his way over to Aubrey's room. Seeking her out had just seemed like the natural thing to do.

Aubrey patiently awaited his response. She hadn't asked the question for any kind of dramatic effect or to make a point, she just genuinely wanted to know the answer.

When it came to Levi, all of the lines were blurred and everything became a confused mess. Aubrey thought that she would go for a walk with Hange or Kate if they had showed up in a similar fashion, but Levi was so different from them.

"It's just a damn walk. Besides, I can't just let you wander around alone at night."

Aubrey raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. "Levi, I was wandering around alone at night long before you arriv-"

"Well not anymore." Levi cut her off before she could finish and his gaze grew more intense. "Are we going or not?"

Aubrey paused, contemplating her options. Going with Levi was like asking for boundaries to be crossed but, somehow, not going with him seemed even worse. Turning him away now would be rude, right?

Sighing, Aubrey gave in. "Let me get my shoes."

Aubrey stepped back, leaving the door wide open as she crossed her room to pick up her boots, which had been thrown in opposite directions upon being taken off earlier. After retrieving them, Aubrey slipped them on as she returned to the entryway. She felt a fluttering in her chest as she grew more aware of the fact that she would be going on moonlit walk with none other than Levi.

But, her excitement quickly faded when she discovered the expression on his face. Aubrey had only ever seen such a look of horror on the faces of soldiers on their first expeditions outside the walls. Levi's eyes were wide and frozen, staring beyond Aubrey and into her room. His entire body remained deathly still and Aubrey didn't even think he was breathing.

"Levi?! What's wrong?!"

Aubrey began to panic and followed his gaze back into her room. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Turning back to Levi, she saw his lips quivering, trying to form words.

"Levi! What is it?!"

If he didn't start breathing soon, Aubrey was going to slap him.

Finally, Levi took a shallow breath and murmured something so quietly that Aubrey couldn't comprehend.

"What?"

Levi shifted his gaze to meet hers, his eyes still glazed with horror.

He spoke again, this time loud enough for Aubrey to understand. "Your room... it's... disgusting."

Aubrey's face scrunched into a ball of confusion. That was it? He'd stopped breathing because her room was a mess?

Aubrey's mind flashed back to all of the times Levi had 'punished' Isabel and Furlan with cleaning. Apparently it was more than just punishment... He was a clean freak.

A light blush came to Aubrey's cheeks and she rubbed the back of her neck. She was starting to feel a bit self-conscious about her cleaning habits.

"Oh, um, yeah... I've been meaning to straighten up a bit..."

Levi's gaze returned to the mess behind Aubrey and before she knew it, he was moving forward, trying to push past her.

"We need to fix this right now. This is atrocious."

Aubrey found herself so caught off guard that she didn't have time to prevent Levi from entering her room. Before she knew what was happening, he was stripping the sheets off her bed and tossing them on the floor all while cringing and making the most exaggerated face of disgust she had ever seen.

Aubrey came back to her senses and ran over to grab his arm, preventing him from doing any further tidying.

"Levi, wait! We can't do this right now. Everyone is sleeping! We can't risk waking them up with sounds of us cleaning in the dead of night!" Aubrey did her best to keep her voice somewhat hushed, but her urgency was leaking through.

"I don't care. This place is unlivable. I don't even know how you can stand to be in here."

Aubrey grew impatient and began yanking on Levi's forearm, forcing him back out the entrance and into the cool night air. Aubrey made sure to close the door firmly behind her as she joined him. 

"Look, Levi, I'll make a deal with you. I'm not going to clean my room with you right now but this Sunday, when we have our day off from training, you can come over and scrub the floors to your heart's content. And I'll help. Okay?"

Levi's face looked close to panicked and he opened his mouth to object. "Are you telling me you're going to leave it like that until Sunday?"

Aubrey adopted an annoyed expression and slapped him on the shoulder. "Hey! It's my room and I can leave it dirty if I want to!"

Levi looked at her like she was some kind of foreign being. "You're a pig."

Aubrey stuck her tongue out at him before grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and dragging him away from the barracks. Levi gave some resistance but seemed, for the most part, resigned to her plan.

When Aubrey was satisfied with the distance they'd put between themselves and the dorms, she released Levi's collar, instantly feeling the heat in her palm dissipate to ice.

Ignoring her longing for his touch, Aubrey allowed her hand to drop to her side and matched his casual pace.

"Oi, you didn't have to pull so hard." Levi rubbed his collar where Aubrey's hand had been just moments ago.

Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Well, if you'd just left willingly, I wouldn't have had to pull in the first place."

"Tch. Whatever." Levi shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants and set his eyes forward.

Aubrey giggled at his stubborn response and clasped her hands behind her back.

"But, really, though... are we cleaning my room on Sunday?"

Levi shot her a look of disbelief. "Of course we're cleaning your damn room, brat. I don't know if I'll even be able to last that long knowing what kind of filth you're hiding in there."

Aubrey chuckled but inside, she was beginning to panic. How would she explain to Levi that he couldn't touch one side of the room?

Aubrey pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She didn't want to worry about anything right now. In this moment, she simply wanted to enjoy being in Levi's presence. She could worry later. 

Taking a calming breath, Aubrey spoke. "Fine, fine. We'll clean on Sunday but I can't promise your safety... Who knows what's growing in there..."

Levi visibly gagged and Aubrey laughed, the sound chiming through the cool air.

"I'm just kidding! Maybe."

Levi looked at her with a mix of annoyance and disgust but couldn't help admiring the sound of her chuckling.

Aubrey raised her eyes to the sky and examined the stars. It was a cloudless night and so she could easily make out the familiar constellations. She'd always found peace in the stars, even as a child. Something about the steadiness and predictability of their patterns always made her feel calm. Perhaps that was why she only slept well during the full moon.

Aubrey shifted her attention back to the path before her. They'd been walking for a little ways and she'd realized that her hidden detour was coming up fast.

"Are we going to our spot?"

Levi's eyes widened and he stole a glance her way. "Our?"

Aubrey shrugged her shoulders. She'd meant what she'd said. "Yes, 'our'. We both go there and I think you appreciate it just as much as I do... so, it's ours."

Levi looked away, not wanting Aubrey to see how overwhelmed he was. The idea of sharing something with just her, especially a place as precious and valuable as the pond, was nearly too much for him to bear. Not that he'd ever let it show.

"Yes, I was planning on going there. Does that suit you?"

Aubrey giggled at his choice of words. "Does it suit me? Yes, it suits me just fine."

"Tch. Quit making fun of me, brat."

Aubrey groaned at his use of his favorite nickname. "Ugh, I should never have given you the right to call me that. I'll regret it for the rest of my days..."

A smirk made its way to Levi's lips in the darkness. As much as he hated to admit it, he'd enjoyed his little contest with Aubrey and now he even had something to show for it.

Silence fell over them as Levi led them both along the small path that would take them to the pond. The quiet was comfortable and Levi found himself enjoying just being in Aubrey's company.

Perhaps even a bit more than enjoying.

Every so often, he would allow his eyes to slide over and admire her form. The moonlight was bright enough to illuminate her features and he took the opportunity to truly look at her.

She, too, was dressed in casual clothing. Her loose gray pants were tucked into her boots in a haphazard manner and she wore a black short-sleeved short made of cotton. For a second, Levi wondered if she was feeling cold and reprimanded himself for not insisting that she bring a jacket. But, there was nothing he could do about it now, and so he dismissed the thought to return to his observation.

Looking more closely, Levi could see Aubrey's wet hair and green eyes glinting in the starlight. It was enough to make his breath catch in his throat. Her demeanor was so simple, so pure... she was breathtaking.

When they had first met, Levi had, uncharacteristically, taken notice of her appearance. But here, in this moment, he was sure that she was the most stunning person he would ever lay eyes on.

His chest pulled at him, telling him to reach out to her, to touch her in any way at all. But he didn't. He couldn't. If he did, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop himself from going too far and then all of the work and effort that they had put into their boundaries would be for nothing.

Levi balled his hands into fists inside of his pockets. He would do what was best and protect her from himself.

Aubrey walked along peacefully, unaware of the turmoil that was wreaking havoc in Levi's mind. In fact, she was feeling undeniably cheerful. Even if the magnetism was hard to resist, it was much easier to be at Levi's side than at opposite ends of the grounds. But, in such close proximity, just a small lapse in concentration would be enough to break their rules. Even so, Aubrey felt much more comfortable and upbeat being near Levi. When they were far apart, the pull was incessant, like a crushing weight that she couldn't drop.

So, as they finally entered the treeline, Aubrey was just happy to have him by her side.

"How often do you come out here?"

Aubrey was broken from her thoughts as Levi spoke softly into the night. It took her a moment to gather herself and recognize what he was talking about.

"Hm? Oh, to the pond? Maybe... two or three nights a week? I like how the stars look out here, they help me to fall asleep."

Levi turned to look at her in the dark. The cover of the trees had cast mysterious shadows over her figure and he found himself even more mesmerized.

"The stars do?" Levi had never heard of anyone using the sky as a way to lull themselves to sleep.

Aubrey nodded. "Yes, I can't really describe it but... they are calming to me. They always have been, even when I was a child. Actually... the full moon is the only night that I get any real sleep."

Upon hearing her confession, Levi began to grow concerned. He wasn't really known for having the best sleep habits himself, but Aubrey was admitting that she only slept well one night of the month.

"Why don't you sleep well?"

Aubrey's lips turned down into an unconscious frown. She'd never told anyone, not even Erwin, about the reason behind her sleepless nights. She was always worried that if she revealed her nightmares, he would demand that she take time off and focus on resting. Aubrey knew that Erwin was always worried about her emotional and mental wellbeing. After seeing her push through the deaths of her friends without a pause to grieve, he'd always suspected that she was hiding a wound not visible to the eye.

Yet, Aubrey had a strange sense that this may be the very moment that she should finally unveil her secret. She knew that Levi wouldn't go running to Erwin and that he wouldn't nag her about resting. For some reason, Aubrey felt compelled to share this tiny piece of herself with him. In fact, Aubrey was fairly sure that at some point, she would tell him everything about her. But for now, this tiny secret would be enough.

"I, um... I have nightmares."

Levi's eyes hardened, his concern deepening. "Every night?"

Aubrey swallowed. She was starting to feel vulnerable and even while being hidden in the darkness of the night, she could swear that Levi could see every flicker of her features.

"Yes. Every night."

Aubrey braced herself for the inevitable slew of questions that were surely swirling in Levi's mind. But... no questions ever came. The two of them continued to walk silently through the woods and Aubrey was astonished when they arrived at the pond and Levi had yet to so much as open his mouth.

Why wasn't he asking her what she dreamed about? Aubrey knew that if their roles had been reversed, she would have been curious about the content of Levi's dreams. And yet, Levi wasn't asking her anything. He'd simply accepted what she'd told him and moved on. Did he not want to pressure her?

Finally, Aubrey couldn't take it anymore.

"Why aren't you asking me what my nightmares are about?"

Levi paused just before he went to take his seat on their peninsula. Slowly, he turned to face her, the moonlight reflecting off the water of the pond and illuminating his features. For a moment, he seemed to lose himself in thought, his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes adopting a distant haze.

After a few seconds, his expression softened a bit and he spoke up. "Because I know that some monsters are better left in the dark. At least until they're ready to face the light, that is. When you want to tell me, you will."

Aubrey was stunned to silence. It was the most profound and thoughtful thing she'd ever heard Levi say and for a moment she thought that he must've stolen a line from Erwin. But most of all, she was astounded by his consideration. Levi hadn't questioned her about her nightmares because he'd been concerned that discussing them would cause her pain. And so, he'd squashed his own curiosity in order to spare her.

Aubrey felt like crying.

But she didn't. Instead, she found her voice and managed to squeak out a response.

"Thank you, Levi. That's very... kind of you."

Levi shifted his stance and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Tch. Not really. You're just not the only one with shit they don't want to remember."

Aubrey smiled sadly and turned her eyes to the ground.

"Yes, you're right about that."

Levi wavered. He was starting to regret his blunt statement. Perhaps he should have just accepted her thanks and moved on.

Eager to move on to a new topic, Levi blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Oi, aren't you cold?"

Aubrey glanced up, disoriented by his sudden shift in conversation. Doing an internal scan, Aubrey realized that she was feeling a bit chilly. All remnants of the heat from the daytime had disappeared and the cool night air was nipping at her bare arms.

"Dumb brat... you should have brought a jacket."

Aubrey sent him an annoyed glare and placed her hands on her hips.

"Well, this dumb brat isn't as dumb as you think. I happen to have a solution to this problem."

Levi raised a teasing eyebrow. "Oh? And what would that be?"

Aubrey rolled her eyes and turned on her heel, walking away and off the peninsula.

"Follow me. I've been meaning to show you this, anyway."

Levi didn't hesitate to trail behind her, his curiosity piqued.

"And what exactly are you showing me?"

Aubrey snickered into the darkness. "You'll see."

Even though he knew Aubrey couldn't see, Levi's expression took on an irritated look. But, he kept his mouth shut and silently followed.

Aubrey skirted around the edges of the pond, admiring just how beautiful it looked at night. The light ripples of the water distorted the reflection of the moon and stars in a way that made them look as if they were constantly shifting, forming one new constellation after another. The trees swayed in the slight breeze and Aubrey marveled at the rustling of the branches as they bowed to the gentle push. Apparently, seeing the recruits' reactions to the sunset had made her more appreciative of her own surroundings.

Placing one foot in front of the other, Aubrey grew closer to her destination and Levi soon realized where they were headed.

"I am not going inside that filthy shack."

Aubrey chuckled at his disgusted tone. This newly discovered personality trait had certainly been unexpected.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to make you live in it. I just store a few things in there for situations like this. Ya know, blankets, snacks, lanterns... that sort of stuff. So, if you ever come out here and need any of those things, now you know where to find them."

Levi found himself a tad impressed by Aubrey's preparedness. She must have spent quite a bit of time out here if she had a whole stash of supplies built up.

As they grew nearer, Levi shifted his focus to the building itself. Aubrey had said that it was an old cabin built for the use of the Scout Regiment Captains but that it had been abandoned some time ago. After a quick scan, Levi could see that the house was still in fairly good condition. Of course, it was filthy and needed to be thoroughly cleaned but other than that, he could see no issues with its construction.

Also, he determined that 'shack' was probably not the best word to describe the place. While it was smaller, it was still a decent size. Levi figured that it probably held all of the essential components of a house. It really was a home and not a storage shack.

"These things have really been abandoned?"

Levi couldn't believe that such a structure would simply be left to rot.

Aubrey nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. There's no purpose for them anymore so they've just been left to the elements."

Levi grunted. It was such a waste.

Finally, Aubrey arrived at the front door and placed a hand on the knob.

"You can wait here. I'll spare you the sight of 20 years worth of dust."

Levi's face screwed up in revulsion and Aubrey giggled as she pushed the wooden door open and slipped inside.

Levi waited patiently, admiring the stars glimmering in the sky until the squeak of the wooden door announced Aubrey's return.

In her hands she held a surprisingly large, grey blanket and in her mouth was an already partially eaten ration bar.

Levi wrinkled his nose. "I can't believe you willingly eat those things. They're disgusting."

Aubrey reached up and grabbed the meal bar, swallowing the bite in her mouth before answering.

"Hey! I'm hungry. I didn't get to eat much of my dinner."

Levi's eyes darkened and his face hardened. "Ah, yes. The Commander stole you away."

So he'd been watching... Aubrey struggled to make out Levi's expression in the light. She couldn't see his face that well but she could easily hear the dislike in his voice.

Aubrey froze as she suddenly remembered the crucial conversation she'd had with Erwin. Now was as good a time as any to reveal to Levi her new squad assignment. And yet, she really didn't want to. There was no doubt in her mind that Levi would be angered over one thing or another. She had a feeling that he would resent her leaving just as much as she resented it herself.

Sighing, Aubrey closed the small gap between them and came to a stop at Levi's side.

"Yes, Erwin had something very important to discuss with me. And now... I have something very important to discuss with you."

Levi stilled. What had that bastard told her? Had he told her about his past? Was she going to pity him? Was she going to resent him for his encounter with her precious Commander?

"But first, let's go sit. My mind might not be all that tired, but my body is and my legs are yelling at me to lay down."

Without a second glance, Aubrey walked off, heading back to their little peninsula. After a moment's hesitation, Levi followed her and soon the two of them had arrived at their destination.

Aubrey plopped herself onto the ground and began unfolding the blanket in front of her. Levi took a seat a few feet away from her, watching as her hands fumbled with fabric and undid its creases.

But, just as Aubrey fanned the blanket out in the air, she turned to look at Levi, her brows furrowing.

"Why are you sitting so far away?"

Levi scoffed. "What are you talking about, brat? I'm no more than three feet from you."

Aubrey shook her head and scooted closer to him. "Yeah, well three feet is still too far. This blanket isn't that big."

Levi's eyes widened as he began to comprehend what she was implying. "I don't need your damn blanket. I'm perfectly fine."

Even though she had heard what he'd said, Aubrey didn't stop her advance. A small smirk came to her lips. "I may be the one with no sleeves but that shirt isn't much better. If I'm cold, you're cold."

Levi huffed. Now that he thought about it, the crisp air had really started to seep through his clothing. He was cold.

Still, he wasn't about to give in so easily.

"And what about our boundaries?"

Aubrey rolled her eyes at his lame attempt to evade her. Was he really so embarrassed about being cold?

"For Heaven's sake, it's just a damn blanket, Levi. You'd share one with Isabel, wouldn't you?"

Unable to come up with another excuse, Levi was left with no escape.

"Tch. Whatever."

Aubrey smiled at his surrender and she wormed her way next to him and wrapped the blanket around both of their shoulders.

Happy to have the comfort of the fabric against her, Aubrey sighed with content. Although, Levi's warmth wasn't half bad either. They were close enough to be touching and every place that they made contact was practically burning. Aubrey's knee was lightly pressed against his and her torso leaned into him. Her heart began to race. They hadn't been this close since Levi had snapped on her in the hallway.

Aubrey raised her gaze to the stars, hoping that Levi wouldn't see the blush that was forming on her cheeks. Just thinking about that time was still enough to make her want to crumple into a ball.

Levi followed her lead and turned his attention to the sky. The view of the stars from their spot was absolutely stunning. Here, there were no lights or smoke that would disguise the starlight. Instead, each star was crisp, defined, and blindingly bright. Every single one sparkled like a unique gem.

For a short while, Levi found himself entranced by the sight but was eventually brought back to reality by the breeze against his cheek. Trying to reorient himself, he blinked and lowered his head. He could easily lose all sense of time and meaning when he was here and especially when he was here with Aubrey.

Levi angled his head ever so slightly to look at Aubrey's face. She was still gazing up at the stars, awe and wonder etched into her smooth features. She seemed just as lost in the sky as he had been.

But, there was a thought scratching at the back of Levi's mind, and he knew that if he waited any longer to address it, it would devour him from the inside out.

"What is it that you wanted to discuss with me?"

Levi watched as Aubrey went through the exact same process he had finished just seconds earlier. The haze over her eyes slowly disappeared and she blinked and shook her head, escaping her stupor.

Eventually, Aubrey turned to Levi, her eyes clear and expression soft. She knew that what she was about to say would cause a ruckus... and just as she had been settling in.

Sighing, Aubrey angled her body toward Levi, looking him straight in the eye. If she was going to say it, she was going to make sure that he knew she was serious.

"Levi..."

Aubrey paused, bracing herself.

"Yes..?"

Levi sat still, growing more impatient with every passing moment.

Aubrey took one final deep breath before calmly speaking aloud. "I've been transferred to the Special Operations Squad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I tried to update as quickly as possible because a couple of y'all were on me about the cliffhanger in the last chapter! Hehe :) So, here I am with an EXTRA lengthy chapter to make up for it.
> 
> I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everybody who has been taking the time to leave comments and respond to the questions I've been asking. They're really helpful and encouraging! I'm feeling more motivated now and I've been pumping out at least a couple thousand words a day. Hooray for writing fanfiction and avoiding the actual work that I have to do. Oh well.
> 
> Anyway, no special question this time around but I am curious to see how y'all feel about this chapter in general. I've been really looking forward to writing it and I think that so far, so good!
> 
> You all know the drill here... Thank you for reading this junk that I post on the internet and LEAVE A COMMENT!!!


	22. Chapter 22

"You've been what?"

Aubrey could hardly believe the immediate malice that had dripped from Levi's voice. He hadn't even taken a moment to process before his eyes had turned to fire and his body had tensed beside her. Had Aubrey not known that his anger wasn't directed at her, she would have run for her life.

"Levi, calm down and let me explain."

Doing her best to make sure Levi stayed seated, and didn't charge off to behead Erwin, Aubrey ran a gentle hand up Levi's arm and allowed it to rest on his shoulder. The fire was pulsing so intensely in her palm that she almost pulled away but she forced her hand to remain.

"Explain? What is there to explain? That bastard didn't want you near me, did he? He thinks I'm some kind of scumbag to be monitored?"

Aubrey shook her head and began rubbing her hand up and down Levi's arm in a soothing pattern. "No, Levi, you're wrong. It's true that Erwin didn't want me near someone, but that someone isn't you."

This seemed to catch Levi's attention enough to make some of the fury dissipate from his features. He'd never thought that the Commander would take Aubrey off the squad for any other reason than to get her away from himself.

"Then..." Levi trailed off, realizing who Aubrey was referring to.

Aubrey nodded, feeling the shame and humiliation of the day's events return. "Yes... Kate told him what happened. Erwin was concerned for my well being and so he transferred me. I start tomorrow."

Levi sat silently, struggling through an internal battle. On one hand, he was absolutely against Aubrey leaving their squad. She would be so far away and he would hardly see her. Even if it went against his self-made rules, he knew that if he couldn't keep an eye on her, he would drive himself insane. Not being able to assure himself of her safety would leave him distracted all day. And that was the absolute last thing he needed when he was surrounded by an entire regiment of soldiers that distrusted him.

But, on the other hand, Levi had to agree with the Commander's judgement, though it went against every fiber of his being. Erwin obviously cared about Aubrey and that was one area where their interests overlapped. If transferring Aubrey to a different squad would spare her from ever having to speak to Flagon again, Levi would let it happen. It was the best thing for her and that was what mattered.

Gritting his teeth, Levi came to a conclusion. He would accept the change as gracefully as he could. The fire within him screamed that he should tell Aubrey she was forbidden from venturing any more than ten feet from him but Levi knew that was unreasonable. His own urges came second when Aubrey was involved.

"Fine."

Aubrey nearly gasped. She'd been expecting to have to put up the fight of her life. She'd been awaiting his response with baited breath and her mind had run through dozens of ways she could attempt to appease an angered Levi. But, not once had she foreseen that he would simply accept her reasoning.

"Fine?"

Through gritted teeth, Levi spit out his response. "As much as I dislike your Commander, I would have to agree with him in this area. If transferring gets you away from that piece of shit Captain, then so be it."

Aubrey was stunned. She struggled to even form words but eventually pulled herself together.

Doing her best to sound unaffected, Aubrey responded. "Yes... I suppose it's better this way. But, I won't be there to watch over you three anymore, so that duty has fallen to Kate. Make sure you don't get on her bad side." Aubrey gave a small smile, trying to be as upbeat as possible.

"Tch. Like we need someone to watch over us. We can handle ourselves."

Aubrey allowed her hand to drop from Levi's arm and into her lap. Turning her gaze to the ground, Aubrey spoke softly. "Yes, I know you can. But... I still worry. So... please... for me... stay out of trouble and let Kate deal with Flagon, okay?"

The instant Aubrey's hand left his body, Levi felt a rush of ice go through his veins. The loss of her touch was like a shock to his system and it was like he could feel his muscles twitching, aching to make contact with her again.

Aubrey's pulling away had left Levi in a small stupor and so it took him a moment to get around to thinking about what she'd said. He was hesitant to agree at first. Giving up his ability to snap at Flagon would no doubt cause him a great deal of discomfort, as nearly everything that came out of the Captain's mouth made his blood boil. But, Aubrey's voice had sounded so genuine, so gentle, that he didn't think he would be able to find the strength to deny her.

With a huff, Levi finally gave in. "Fine. I'll let your friend deal with the damn Captain. But if she calls me 'shorty' one more time, she's the one you'll have to be worried about."

Upon hearing his response, Aubrey made some noise halfway between a sigh and a giggle. She was beyond relieved that Levi had agreed to leave Flagon to Kate but his annoyance at his new nickname was quite amusing.

"I think it's a bit late to reverse that damage. She's already picked what she's going to call you and now there's no going back. And don't even try intimidating her, it wouldn't work."

Levi grunted, unhappy with his situation but knowing that if what Aubrey said was true, he couldn't do anything about it.

Aubrey smiled at his strange pouting. She always found his bouts of frustration amusing and somewhat cute. His attempts to hide his true feelings behind a wall of aggression were always entertaining.

Returning to the present, Aubrey noticed the impending sense of drowsiness that threatened to take over her body. Knowing that it wouldn't be ideal to fall asleep at the pond, she started to stand.

"We should head back. It's getting pretty late."

Levi mirrored her motions, slowly standing and taking the blanket up with him. He quickly and neatly folded the blanket and handed it back to Aubrey, who, to his surprise, giggled.

"What's so funny, brat?"

Aubrey placed a hand over her mouth as she continued to chuckle but an annoyed glance from Levi caused her to calm enough in order to speak.

"I just can't believe you're such a clean-freak! You don't really seem the type."

Levi scowled at her. "There is no type for having basic hygiene."

Smiling, Aubrey bent down and scooped up the half-eaten ration bar that she'd wrapped and laid on the ground. Her talk with Levi had interrupted her eating and now, no matter how amusing he was, her stomach was still demanding to be filled.

Aubrey took several large bites of her meal, finishing it and shoving the empty wrapper into her pocket before she pivoted, heading back to the cabin.

"Basic? You've made Isabel and Furlan clean the barracks at least six times since you got here. I'd say that's a bit more than basic."

Levi fell into step behind her, no longer having to follow since he was aware of where they were headed.

"Those barracks are obscene. Those brats should be happy I've only made them clean six times. Who knows how long that place has been left to rot in its own filth."

Aubrey shook her head, smirking into the dark of the night. "Oh my. I'm beginning to worry what will happen when you really get a good look at my room. I think you might vomit."

Levi nearly gagged as he remembered the sight of Aubrey's dorm. "I don't understand how you can willingly live in that shithole."

Aubrey turned, playfully smacking him on the shoulder and making an expression of mock offense. "Hey! I told you before that it's my room and I can live how I want! Besides, believe it or not, there is a method to the madness."

Levi raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Like what?"

Aubrey averted her gaze, her cheeks flushing as she struggled to find a suitable answer. "Well... um... I have... I have a clean pile and a dirty pile?" Aubrey spoke her words as more of a question than a statement.

Levi felt a shiver run up his spine and he nearly came to a dead stop. "You disgust me."

Aubrey sighed, finally giving in. "Yes, I know. It's bad and I need to do something about it."

"You're damn right, you do. Because if you don't do something, I will, and next time I won't care if I wake the whole fucking regiment."

Aubrey stopped outside the door of the cabin, pausing before entering to answer. "Well that's why you're coming over on Sunday. The whole regiment will already be awake, anyway, so you won't have to worry about stirring them."

Without waiting for a response, Aubrey pushed open the wooden door, its hinges squealing from years of neglect and stillness.

But, before Aubrey stepped all the way inside, she stopped, a thought crossing her mind. Turning back to Levi, Aubrey shot him a curious glance.

"What?" Levi was becoming somewhat uncomfortable. Aubrey was staring at him and not speaking and it was making him uneasy.

Aubrey hesitated and bit her lip before finally speaking. "I know I promised that I would spare you from this dust pile of a cabin, but I think you should come in. Just so that I can show you where I keep the stuff, ya know?"

Levi grunted. He was quite unwilling to go in but he figured that Aubrey was probably right. It would be useful to know where the supplies were, should he ever need them.

"Fine. But make it quick."

Aubrey nodded, holding the door until Levi was inside before letting it slam shut.

Levi squinted into the dark, slowly making out his surroundings. There were plenty of windows and so a decent amount of moonlight flooded the place, making the inside of the cabin fairly visible.

Wood.

That was all that Levi could see, hear, and smell. Before him, he could recognize that the entire cabin was constructed of a light stained wood, the planks weaving together to create one large area that looked like a combined living room and kitchen. Cabinets and countertops lined the right side of the space, along with a wood stove that looked as if it hadn't been touched since it was abandoned 20 years ago. Strong, dark, wooden beams were spaced across the ceiling and walls, supporting the structure. In fact, the only part of the room that wasn't made of wood was the stone fireplace that was embedded into the far wall. Apart from that, there was no embellishment or furniture, just empty air that sifted through the still room.

Peering even further into the darkness, Levi could make out several other doors that led further into the building.

"Just how big is this damn place?"

Aubrey turned her own eyes to her surroundings, her eyes falling on each of the doors that hid the rooms beyond.

"Hmm... Well, it's a pretty decent size. Definitely a luxury meant for a Captain. There's one or two bedrooms but I think that one of them would probably have been used as an office. Then there's a bathroom and I'm pretty sure there's an attic, too, but I've never ventured up there."

Levi nodded in acknowledgement but didn't speak. He was still too busy examining the building.

After a slightly awkward moment, Aubrey decided to break the silence.

"But, um, I keep the supplies in the closet, or, I guess it was probably the pantry at one point." Levi broke his eyes away from his inspection and turned to face her as Aubrey hesitantly continued. "Come on, I'll show you."

Aubrey turned to her right and began walking down the hallway that led to her destination.

Levi allowed his eyes to roam the new part of the building. The hallway didn't go very far. It was really only a way to get to the rooms behind the kitchen. There were two doors, both made of the same dark wood that the front door was constructed from.

"That second door goes to the spare bedroom and this one," Aubrey put her hand on the knob of the first door. "Goes to the supply closet."

With a bit too much excitement and pride, Aubrey swung the door open, revealing a long and skinny closet with a few piles of the 'supplies' she'd collected stacked upon the shelves.

Levi raised an eyebrow. She was far too impressed with herself. There was nothing more than some blankets, a generous amount of the disgusting ration bars, and a small stash of lanterns, candles, and matches to light them.

"That's it?"

Aubrey placed her hands on her hips. "Hey! Why do you have to be so cheeky about everything?"

"Tch. Just put the blanket back already."

Aubrey rolled her eyes but obeyed his command. Stepping into the closet, she hastily placed the blanket back with the others and returned to Levi.

"Alright. Now you know where I keep everything, so we can head back."

Levi gave a hum of approval and Aubrey smiled at him before going back the way she came. When they reached the entrance one again, Aubrey promptly opened the door and held it for Levi, assuming that he wouldn't want to touch the, no doubt disgusting, knob.

"You first, Lord Cleanliness."

Levi paused, refusing to go through.

"Shut up. Get your ass out the door."

Aubrey held back a laugh and instead twisted her face into an expression of exaggerated confusion. "Ya know, you have a strange way of being polite. If you wanted me to go first, you could have easily avoided using 'shut up' and 'ass'."

Levi crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. "Tch. Just go."

Aubrey finally let a giggle slip past her lips and gave in to his request.

"If you insist."

As Aubrey passed through, Levi caught the door with his foot and promptly followed her out. Aubrey laughed internally at his subtle attempt to avoid contact with the door. Even if he was determined to make her go first, he wasn't going to touch the filth.

As amused as she was, Aubrey kept her mouth shut and continued on, Levi falling into step beside her as they made their way home.

All was quiet except for the crunch of the ground beneath their feet and it didn't take long before Aubrey's mind began to wander.

They'd been out for at least an hour, perhaps a bit more, and Aubrey figured that the time was rapidly approaching midnight. Everyone else had already been asleep before Levi had appeared at her door and Aubrey would have to be even more careful to be quiet when she went back in. The Scouts weren't really night owls. After long days of training and facing the terror of the titans, everyone was always desperate for their sleep. The only time any king of nightlife ever occurred was when Erwin held moral-boosting 'parties' for the regiment. Usually, these 'parties' were held not too long after an expedition. After the inevitable losses of a trip outside the walls, it was necessary to do something to allow soldiers to bounce back. Often, the 'bounce-back' was achieved through the copious amount of alcohol supplied at the gatherings.

Aubrey had only ever been to one of those parties since she'd only ever been on one 'official' expedition. The Scout Regiment did full-blown expeditions about once every six months but Aubrey had often gone on mini trips outside the walls when missions could be better accomplished with a small group. There were never parties after those trips, just silent gatherings as the remaining soldiers mourned those they had lost.

Aubrey sighed as she thought about the upcoming expedition. She'd have been lying if she'd said that she wasn't worried. But, this time, she was worried for reasons slightly different than the usual. Most times, Aubrey was concerned about Erwin and his safety. No matter how many times she begged him, he had never allowed her to stay with him in the formation. She'd always been forced to stay with Squad Flagon in some rear part of the formation while Erwin held his position toward the front.

Aubrey was very aware that Erwin was a perfectly capable and skilled soldier on his own but knowing the danger outside the walls still put her on edge. It caused her a great deal of anxiety to be separated from him when there were countless numbers of titans on the loose.

Apart from her worries about Erwin, Aubrey was always tormented by the inevitable losses that the regiment would take. Every expedition ended in tragedy and sadness when so many comrades were sacrificed. Even though she had few close friends, Aubrey felt fiercely loyal and protective of her fellow soldiers and each of their deaths caused her a great deal of pain. If she could, she would trade her own life for any one of theirs.

But this time, Aubrey would have even more concerns. This time, she had Levi to worry about, as well as Isabel and Furlan. Aubrey knew that they were all skilled with the 3DMG but no one could ever predict how they would react after seeing a titan for the first time. And to make matters worse, Aubrey would no longer be on their squad, leaving her unable to protect them should anything go wrong. She would be in a completely different section of the formation and completely unaware of what was happening to them.

The expedition was in just over five weeks and Aubrey was becoming frantic about their preparedness. Her three new friends hadn't had much time with the regiment to become accustomed to the formations and practices. Aubrey knew that she, herself, had only had a bit more than two weeks to train for her first expedition but when it came to Levi, no amount of preparation time would seem adequate. If it were up to her, she would keep him locked inside the safety of the walls forever.

But she knew that wasn't fair.

If anybody had ever denied her the ability to chase her own freedom, Aubrey would have gone mad. She had no right to take away Levi's freedom. Even if it would put his life in danger.

Instead, she would just have to make sure that Levi knew what he was facing.

"Levi." Aubrey spoke softly but it was plenty loud in the quiet of the night.

By now, the two of them had made it well into the forest and the sound of her voice echoed off the trees around them.

"Hmm?" Levi hummed quietly, acknowledging her.

"There... There's something that I want to tell you."

Levi shifted his gaze to the side as he examined Aubrey's features. She sounded troubled, distressed even. "Go on."

Aubrey inhaled deeply, steeling herself for the discussion they were about to have. She wasn't sure how Levi would react. Would he be angry that she 'doubted' his skills? Would he reassure her? Would he laugh off her concern?

"Beyond the walls... I need you to tell me that you are prepared for what it will be like."

Levi remained silent for a moment. If he was being honest, his expedition outside of the walls wasn't what had him the most worried. At this point, he was more preoccupied with what was happening inside the walls. Nevertheless, Levi could guess what Aubrey was referring to.

"You mean the titans." Levi answered with a statement rather than a question.

Aubrey nodded but added on to his observation. "Yes. But... I don't think you truly understand what the titans are."

Levi's face scrunched in confusion. "Does anybody know what those shitbags really are?"

Aubrey turned her eyes to the ground as she shook her head. "That's not what I was getting at. It's true that the titans are a mystery in just about every way. But there is one thing about them that I know from first-hand experience."

Levi waited in the dark, anxious for her to continue.

Aubrey took a shuddering breath. This conversation was bringing back images that she didn't want to see. Regardless, she pushed on. "The titans will not hesitate to take everything from you, Levi. It's happened to me and it's happened to countless others. I've seen endless piles of corpses, carts full of bit-off limbs, and pools of blood so large you could hardly believe they came from one person. And the worst part is... it's all real. It's not some nightmare that you can just wake up from. It becomes the nightmare."

Aubrey's breathing was erratic at this point and her hands had tightened into fists, her skin stretched white across her knuckles. Levi watched her cautiously. Her sudden outburst had him feeling nervous and unsettled.

"Why are you telling me this?"

Aubrey shot him a rabid glare. "Isn't it obvious? Levi, you, Isabel, and Farlan are going to have to go out there in a matter of weeks! I don't want the same thing that's happened to so many others to happen to you!"

Levi felt a dark aura fall over him. He couldn't exactly place the emotion he was feeling, but it wasn't good. There were tinges of anger, concern, and even fear, all swirling deep within him.

"And you think telling me this shit is going to change something?"

Aubrey froze. What had she been hoping to achieve? Telling Levi the horrors of the outside wouldn't change reality. There was a very terrifying possibility that Levi would end up in the same state as many of the soldiers did.

Dead.

The thought caused Aubrey to physically gag and she brought a hand to her mouth as she bent over, trying to stay on her feet.

Levi was at her side in an instant. All of the mixed emotions he had been feeling just seconds before shifted to overwhelming concern and distress.

"Aubrey?!"

Aubrey could feel Levi beside her, his voice panicked and urgent. His hand was gripping her shoulder, the pressure causing a calming current to run through her.

After taking a moment to put herself back together, Aubrey straightened. After seeing Levi's worried face, she nearly gagged again but she held back the response.

Levi didn't speak, he simply waited for her to begin to explain herself or to keep walking or to do anything at all. He had no idea how to react or what he should be doing.

A long pause filled the air as Aubrey continued to get her bearings, finally removing her hand from her mouth.

In her mind, Aubrey returned to the question that had originally caused her distress, this time steeling herself so that she wouldn't be so violently affected.

Attempting to calmly work through her thoughts, Aubrey began to form a response to Levi's inquiry.

Taking a deep breath, she quietly spoke into the dark. "Levi... I'm telling you this because I'm worried. So worried that it's driving me insane. I... I've lost people out there and... I don't want you to go through the same thing."

Aubrey took another breath. She was desperately trying to hide the shaking in her muscles. "I'm on a different squad now, Levi. I won't be there to help if something happens. So... protect those two. Do whatever it takes to keep them safe."

Levi was frozen and stunned, his body unable to move or respond. Aubrey's eyes held so much emotion that he'd lost himself in their depths. He could see true fear in her eyes and, beyond that, true sadness. Whatever had happened to her outside the walls, whomever she had lost, it had hurt her deeply and left a scar on her soul.

Aubrey stared back at Levi, silently begging for him to respond, to give her the reassurance that she so desperately needed.

Finally, Levi whispered so quietly that Aubrey barely heard him. "What do you want me to say?"

Aubrey searched his eyes, looking for an answer to his question. What she wanted him to say and what she needed him to say were two very different things.

She wanted him to promise her that he would come back alive, unscarred, and with Isabel and Furlan at his side. And yet, she knew that was an impossible promise. Even if Levi did his best to protect himself and his friends, nothing was ever sure beyond the walls.

What Aubrey needed Levi to tell her was that he would be aware, be prepared, and be focused when they finally rode outside the gate of Wall Maria.

Sighing, Aubrey began to spill her thoughts. "I need you to promise me that you will take this seriously. When you're out there, focus on coming back alive, on coming back to me. Keep your eyes forward and make sure that all of your limbs stay attached. I know that I agreed to our boundaries because I don't want to get hurt again, but I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't care if something happened to you. So, even if you don't feel the same about me, stay alive, okay? And make sure your friends do, too."

Aubrey wanted so badly to reach out to him, to touch him. The urge was so strong that she even felt her hand beginning to move. But she quickly pulled it back. To hold him in the way that she wanted to would break their rules and what she was saying was already teetering on the edge of the line.

But, just as Aubrey's hand returned to her side, Levi reached for her. His movement was rapid and impulsive and, suddenly, Aubrey found herself wrapped in his embrace.

The pressure was crushing and awkward, almost a bit too tight to be comfortable. But in that moment, it was exactly what Aubrey needed. The grip of Levi's arms held her together as she felt like she was falling apart and she pushed her head into his chest, grasping at him in the same way.

For a short while, both of them stayed there, soaking in each other's presence and pulse.

However, it didn't take long before Aubrey began to come to her senses. Gently, she pulled back, wiggling herself out of Levi's arms just enough to look him in the eyes.

Levi stared back at her, his expression unreadable. Aubrey felt the corners of her mouth turn downward. She knew what was coming next. She would have to pull away and the lack of the flames from Levi's body would leave her feeling cold and empty. The thought of pulling away was devastating but the idea of not letting go and accepting what that would mean was even more so.

So, hesitantly, Aubrey stepped back.

"We're really not all that good at adhering to our own rules." Aubrey tried to keep her words light but a heavy weight pressed in from all around them.

Levi continued his silence, his expression holding its stony look. The only piece of emotion that Aubrey could detect was in his gaze. His eyes were blazing, their steely grey glinting in the moonlight.

"I promise." Like his eyes, Levi's words held strength and intensity.

Aubrey waited, hoping that he would continue with the reassurance that she needed.

"I promise that I'll be careful. I promise that I'll try not to get killed and I promise that Isabel and Furlan will try to do the same." Levi's expressionless mask suddenly cracked and his features fell into a flinch. "I'm sorry that's all I can give you."

Aubrey felt her own face crease in sorrow. They truly lived in a cruel world.

"For now, that's plenty. Thank you, Levi."

The two of them stood still for a few moments before Levi began walking forward, leaving Aubrey to scramble after him. Eventually she made it back to his side and they continued their walk in silence.

Aubrey was so preoccupied with her own feelings and thoughts that she hardly even realized that they had miraculously arrived back at the door to her room.

Looking up, Aubrey's eyes grew wide. That was impossible! How could they have made it all the way back to her room? It felt as if she'd only been thinking for a matter of seconds.

"Oi, brat. Are you going in or not?"

Somehow, Aubrey found her voice. "O-Oh. Yes."

Aubrey stepped forward and placed her hand on the knob of her door. But something made her hesitate and she slowly turned back around to face Levi.

"Thank you for going with me tonight. I think our little outing might have actually made me tired enough to sleep." Aubrey giggled lightly at the end of her words even if the subject matter wasn't all that funny.

Levi scoffed at her and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Good. Hopefully you'll get rid of those bags under your eyes."

Aubrey raised an eyebrow at him and placed her hands on her hips. "Again, you have a strange way of being polite. You could have just said 'I hope you sleep well'."

Levi turned his head away, breaking their eye contact. "Tch. Whatever. Just go in already."

Aubrey smiled slightly and returned her hand to her door, pushing it open just enough for her to slip inside. She didn't want to risk Levi seeing her mess again.

Just before closing the door behind her, Aubrey poked her head out for one last sentence.

"I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Levi."

With that, Aubrey finally latched the door shut and made her way to her bed, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all. So, I was writing out my timeline while writing this chapter and I realized that toward the beginning of this story I stated that the next expedition was in six weeks. The time frame came up again in this chapter, so I went back to see how far out the expedition would be and... y'all... THE EXPEDITION IS STILL OVER FIVE WEEKS AWAY. DO YOU ALL RECOGNIZE WHAT THAT MEANS??? I HAVE WRITTEN 80,000 WORDS OF THIS STORY AND WE HAVE ONLY GOTTEN THROUGH F O U R D A Y S SINCE LEVI APPEARED. LIKE WHAT? This must be literally the slowest-paced story ever written. But somehow I don't feel like it reads as slow-paced? All I know is that when I go through and edit I am entertained by own writing LOL.
> 
> BUT... in the near future I think I'll be doing some mini time skips because there's not many important events left that have to happen before the expedition. And let me tell y'all... the expedition and the aftermath is the JUICIEST part of this story so GET READY. IT'S COMING.
> 
> Also, do y'all enjoy my little attempt at explaining the short jokes? LOL.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry that this chapter had been a bit delayed. I've been loaded with work the past few days and I had to put writing to the side for a bit. BUT I'M BACK NOW.
> 
> Finally, I wanted to let everybody know that this story will be ending soon-ish. BUT DO NOT WORRY, THERE WILL BE MORE. I have always planned on separating this story into two parts and Don't Die is just part one of the overall story so we still have plenty of content to get through. Plus, knowing me, 'soon-ish' probably means like another 50,000 words so whatever.
> 
> I think that's all I have to say about this chapter but y'all know what to do with the comments. Leave them. Because I love them. Thank you.


	23. Chapter 23

Aubrey woke in a state that she was rarely able to achieve. She was rested.

For some reason, her nightmare had been dulled. There was no doubt that she'd still seen it, but the images had been detached and hazy. It had felt more like a dream and less like a reliving.

Feeling a bit confused but also intensely grateful, Aubrey swung her legs over the side of her bed. It hadn't been a full moon last night and so that couldn't have been the reason behind her alleviated nightmare. Aubrey could remember only one other time that her sleep had been bettered by anything other than the stars. It had been just a few days ago. Over the weekend when Aubrey had taken Levi to the pond for the very first time, she'd woken up the next morning feeling more rested than usual. It had puzzled her then, too, and Aubrey still wasn't quite sure about the exact link between the two events. But, she was still smart enough to know that the lessening of her agonising dreams had been in line with the introduction of a certain someone.

Levi.

Aubrey placed her head in her hands as she thought about all of the changes that would occur that day. She was joining a new squad, one she didn't really know anything about, and she would be forced apart from Levi for what would no doubt seem like an eternity. If she was being honest, she didn't know if she would survive the day.

Taking a cleansing breath, Aubrey cleared her mind. At the moment, she didn't have time for self-pity. Light was pouring in through her windows and a quick glance at the clock told Aubrey that it was time for her to get moving.

As quickly as she could, Aubrey began changing out of her clothes. She'd slept in the very same casual outfit that she'd gone to the pond in. She hadn't put on any kind of pajamas but the idea didn't really bother her since she didn't have a clean pair anyway.

But, as she slipped her hands into her waistband, Aubrey recognized a small crackling noise. Her eyebrows knit together as she fished around in her pockets, searching for the source. Finally, Aubrey's fingers grasped onto something and she carefully pulled out the wrapper of her ration bar from the night before.

Aubrey smiled at the sight of it. Levi had been so genuinely disgusted by the fact that she actually ate the meal bars. He reacted to the strangest things.

Still smiling, Aubrey tossed the wrapper to the floor and quickly changed into her uniform pants. As soon as her outfit was on, she began attaching her 3DMG straps. Luckily for her, a lifetime of experience had made her very adept at navigating the buckles and belts of the gear and she was ready in a matter of minutes.

A quick trip to the bathrooms to brush her teeth and wash her face was all she needed before she was running out of the barracks, following the crowd to the Mess Hall.

Aubrey could hear the padding of countless feet against the dirt path and she scanned the faces around her, looking for any sign of Hange or even Kate. Amazingly, she wasn't running late today, so she should have been able to spot one of them.

However, before Aubrey eyes landed on either of her targets, she saw a different face that drew her in. Isabel. For the first time since Aubrey had shown her to her room in the barracks, she saw Isabel separated from both of her protective friends.

Seeing an opportunity, Aubrey weaved through the cliques in the crowd, falling into place beside Isabel.

"Good morning!" Aubrey kept her voice light and her tone was lively. Even though she had a lot of changes happening today, she was determined to face it with positivity. Her overwhelming bout of concern and distress from the night before had left her feeling sick of worrying. Plus, everything always looked better in the morning. Perhaps she'd be able to make something good of her new assignment.

Isabel seemed a bit startled at first and she instinctively jerked to the side before recognition crossed her features.

"Oh, hi!" Isabel instantly straightened and smiled, the happy tone of her voice matching with Aubrey's.

Aubrey smiled and shot a friendly glance at Isabel. She felt like she'd somewhat neglected Levi's two companions. She had become so preoccupied with Levi himself that she'd forgotten to make an effort with the other new recruits.

"No Levi or Furlan?" Aubrey continued smiling, hoping that Isabel would engage her in a light conversation.

Isabel shook her head. "Nah, not yet. I said I'd meet them in the Mess Hall. Usually, Big Bro makes us get up so early but now that I have my own room, I can get up whenever I want! As long as I make it in time for breakfast, that is..."

Aubrey giggled at her excitement. Isabel had a sort of childish innocence to her, even if she was the same age as Aubrey. And, considering that she'd lived in The Underground, Aubrey could only imagine that Isabel was able to cope and deal with trials and tribulations that she'd never even dreamed of. But, somehow, Isabel had been able to retain her childhood, unlike Aubrey, who had lost hers long ago.

"Yes, having your own room certainly has its perks, doesn't it?" Aubrey turned her gaze forward, finally seeing the castle come into view.

"Sure does! I've never had so much space in my life! I can't believe I don't have to take a roommate!" Isabel's eyes glowed with excitement as she spoke about her newly-discovered love of privacy.

Aubrey nodded. "Well, try not to get too used to it. With any luck, the next batch of recruits will be a big one and we'll get a decent amount of new soldiers. If that happens, you may have to take a roommate."

Isabel's face scrunched in dislike. She wasn't about to give up her space so easily. "And when does the next batch of recruits come?"

Aubrey turned back to Isabel, shooting her a reassuring grin. "Oh, not for another six months. The Training Corps can only give us one graduating class per year."

Isabel's features relaxed and she placed her hands behind her head, taking on an easy-going posture. "Oh, it's fine then."

Aubrey paused. Isabel had dismissed her earlier concern so easily. Aubrey fought the urge to narrow her eyes.

"Not planning to stay that long?" Aubrey was only half joking as she watched closely for any kind of reaction.

Sure enough, Isabel seemed to backtrack as her face flashed through a moment of panic. But, just as quickly as the look had come, it was gone and she returned to her relaxed state.

"Oh, no, um, it's just that six months of alone time will be plenty for me! I'll probably be lonely by then, anyway."

Aubrey's eyes flashed cold for a split second before she returned them to their soft state. Perhaps this was one of the red flags she was on the lookout for. She wasn't necessarily surprised, as Aubrey was aware that there was some kind of hidden purpose behind Erwin and Levi's duel. But, she figured she would bring it up to Erwin that night, anyway. Maybe she would get some more information out of him.

Aubrey decided that it was best for her to change the topic. Besides, she hadn't approached Isabel with the purpose of getting information out of her: she had genuinely just wanted to have a friendly conversation.

"Oh, well don't worry about that. If you ever get lonely, you can just come visit me!"

Isabel's eyebrows raised and her lips parted. "Really?"

Aubrey grinned at her, her teeth gleaming in the morning light. "Of course! Although, I usually get back to my room pretty late so I'm not sure I'll be available to chat all that often. But, if I'm there, feel free to come on over. I never turn away good company."

Isabel's own lips broke into a bright smile and her eyes sparkled. "Gee, thanks! Don't tell Big Bro, though. If he finds out I'll be in big trouble."

Aubrey giggled. "Trouble? For leaving your room?" Aubrey could easily picture Levi assigning extra cleaning duty as a punishment for Isabel leaving without his 'permission'. But, she wasn't going to let his overprotective nature deprive Isabel of a simple chat. "Well, if you ever do come to visit me, don't worry about Levi. I can handle him."

Isabel's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates before she finally burst out laughing, the sound drawing attention from a few nearby soldiers.

"Hah! I don't know if anybody can handle Big Bro."

Aubrey smirked. She was quite confident in her ability to navigate Levi's little tantrums. She'd diffused enough of them to at least know the basics.

"Well, I think I can. So, come over anytime you want. Don't let Levi stop you."

Isabel shook her head and smiled at the ground. "Okay... It's your funeral."

Aubrey smiled back at her. Even if the girl's tone was sarcastic, Aubrey had a feeling that Isabel might actually take her up on her offer some day and she didn't mind one bit. From what she'd seen, Aubrey thought that herself and Isabel would get along just fine. Plus, any friend of Levi's was a friend of hers. Though, she suspected she'd have to take a more subtle approach with Furlan.

Returning to the present moment, Aubrey could see the looming castle coming closer. It wouldn't take them much longer to arrive at the Mess Hall.

Aubrey turned back to Isabel, deciding to ask a somewhat generic question to keep the conversation going. "So... How are you finding the Scout Regiment? I hope your arrival hasn't been too rough."

Isabel's nose crinkled in what Aubrey could only guess was disgust. "To be honest, most of you seem pretty stuffy."

"Stuffy?" Even though Aubrey was concerned about Isabel's negative view of her comrades, she couldn't help but recognize the irony in her statement. Isabel was calling the Scouts 'stuffy' and yet she had arrived with none other than Levi, the stony clean-freak.

Isabel nodded. "Yeah. Everybody's always giving us dirty looks."

Aubrey sighed. She'd expected as much. "I'm sorry to hear that but I wouldn't give it too much thought if I were you. If anything, they're probably just wary of your mysterious skills."

Aubrey grinned and playfully poked Isabel in the arm, trying to lighten the mood.

Isabel's only response was a somewhat confused stare and so Aubrey attempted to clarify.

"You see, most Scouts take some sort of pride in their abilities. To be a Scout means that you have the skills and the strength to face the titans. So, to have someone with no official military training show them up... well, it probably makes them a bit frustrated to say the least."

Isabel narrowed her eyes as the crowd finally entered the halls of the castle.

"Well, that seems dumb. Shouldn't they be grateful for our skills? I mean, all we're doing is making this stupid regiment stronger."

Aubrey chuckled with amusement. Apparently Isabel had a very straight-forward way of thinking.

"Yes, you're correct. They should be grateful for your skills but I would suspect that a little thing called jealousy gets in the way."

Isabel sneered at Aubrey's response. "But they aren't jealous of you."

Aubrey blinked in surprise. She hadn't thought about that. It was true that the regiment had never made her feel like an outcast because of her skills. But, there was a slight difference between herself and the new recruits.

Sighing, Aubrey continued. "You're right, they've never treated me badly. I would think it's because I came from a military background. I'm less of a mystery than you and, if I'm being honest, your spokesman isn't exactly approachable."

It was Isabel's turn to sigh and she turned her eyes to the ground. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Big Bro isn't really that good at making friends."

Aubrey smiled at her, hoping that she could relieve some of the newfound tension in the air. "Well, you've got me and I'm a pretty good friend to have, so don't worry about it too much."

Isabel's features lightened again and she shot Aubrey a grateful glance. "Thanks for helping us out yesterday... you went through all of that effort just to get us out of a little punishment and then that gross Captain treated you like trash."

Aubrey flinched as she remembered her embarrassing encounter with Flagon. It didn't help that Isabel clearly remembered what he'd said. If she remembered, so did everyone else that had been on the field.

"Yes, Flagon can be quite a handful..." Aubrey paused, she figured that now was as good a time as any to break the news to her new friend. "Actually, there's something I'd like to tell you."

Isabel gave her full attention to Aubrey, waiting.

Aubrey swallowed hard and started to speak. "I've been transferred to a different squad."

At first, Isabel's eyes widened and her mouth popped open, shock crossing her features. But after a second, her face twisted into confusion. "Huh? Why?"

Aubrey gulped. She was still fairly uncomfortable discussing this topic, even though it was necessary. "Well, um, Commander Erwin wasn't very happy with the way the Captain conducted himself toward me and so he's decided to place me with a different squad."

Isabel's features flickered through a flurry of emotions before finally landing on understanding. "O-Oh. I guess I can't really argue with that."

Aubrey gave a grateful glance. She was happy that Isabel was taking everything so calmly. It was a nice break from the outbursts that she usually expected from Levi.

Just as their conversation came to a lull, the clattering of the Mess Hall became audible and the crowd flooded into the room, soldiers dispersing to their usual tables.

Aubrey took a quick glance around. There was no debate about where she would be sitting today. Erwin was looking straight at her and Aubrey gave him a slight nod. She'd need to speak with him before going off to her new assignment.

But first, Aubrey had another someone to say hello to.

Aubrey's eyes landed on Levi. He was seated next to Furlan at a table that was empty apart from the two of them. Isabel had already broken away and made it halfway to them before Aubrey followed.

She'd told Levi that he'd see her in the morning and so she was going to make good on her promise.

Aubrey approached the table with the most animated smile she could manage. She was very aware that Levi's eyes were watching her every move and she wasn't about to give him the idea that she feared her new assignment. If Levi detected any trace of discomfort on her features, Aubrey was worried that she'd have to deal with another tantrum.

Isabel had already struck up some kind of conversation with her friends by the time Aubrey arrived at her destination but Levi wasn't paying the slightest attention. His eyes remained trained on Aubrey's every move and all of his focus went into deciphering her expression.

Once again, she was smiling.

"Good morning, Levi." Aubrey's green eyes finally synched with Levi's gaze and she stared at him determinedly. She wasn't going to waver.

Levi's eyes narrowed even further. He knew that Aubrey most definitely was not excited about her transfer but, at the moment, she seemed to be her usual, cheerful self.

Despite her demeanor, Levi watched her like a hawk for any sign of discomfort. But... what was he going to do if he found what he was looking for?

Levi had already decided the night before that Aubrey transferring to the Special Operations Squad was for the best. It would get her away from their disgusting Captain and that was all that mattered. And yet, Levi could feel himself itching to object.

Having a moment of realization, Levi tore his eyes from Aubrey's figure. He couldn't let himself become blinded by the strange pull he had toward her. When he was around Aubrey, his usual logic went out the window and he did things that would have appalled him in other situations.

But this time, he would control himself and allow Aubrey to keep up her cheerful act. After all, he knew that she was perfectly capable of caring for herself.

"Aubrey." Levi tried his best to keep his voice calm as he acknowledged her greeting.

Aubrey examined him. Levi was no longer looking at her. In fact, he seemed to be looking anywhere but her.

Aubrey's eyebrows furrowed a bit but she quickly dismissed her confusion. Levi's shift in demeanor only served to benefit her. He no longer seemed to be picking her apart piece by piece and so she would take what she could get.

Aubrey moved her gaze across the table to focus on the only new member she had yet to greet.

"Good morning, Furlan."

Furlan glanced up at her, his eyes widening and his eyebrows raising. Apparently, he hadn't been expecting to be singled out. "O-Oh. Good morning, Aubrey."

Aubrey grinned at him before continuing on with what she'd come to say in the first place.

"I hope you all have a good day at training. Please try to take it seriously. I know it's dull most of the time but it's necessary."

Furlan's face clouded with confusion. "You aren't joining us?"

Aubrey shook her head and tried her best to maintain an upbeat expression. It seemed that Levi hadn't yet told Furlan about her transfer. "No. I've been moved to the Special Operations Squad, effective immediately."

"Huh? Why?"

Aubrey would have giggled had she not been feeling so overwhelmed inside. Furlan had given the exact same reply as Isabel.

"Well, my transfer to the Special Operations Squad had been expected for quite some time. I guess Commander Erwin decided it was finally time for me to make the switch."

Aubrey didn't really feel like explaining her situation with Flagon for a second time that morning and if she was being honest, she didn't like talking about it when others were sitting so closely at nearby tables. The whole thing still made her skin crawl.

"Oh."

Aubrey couldn't help but notice that all three of the recruits at the table grimaced at the mention of Erwin's name. Apparently, Levi wasn't the only one who held a grudge against her friend.

Aubrey redirected her thoughts, knowing that very same friend was probably waiting patiently for her to finish her morning greetings.

"Right, well, I just wanted to say hello to everyone and remind you all to keep out of trouble. I won't be around anymore to help out." Aubrey winked but received only blank stares in return.

Sensing the awkwardness in the air, Aubrey grasped at the opportunity to get out.

"I'm going to go get my orders for the day. But, seriously, try to keep yourselves in line, okay?"

Aubrey called the last of her words over her shoulder and she turned on her heel and headed to the long tables along the back wall.

Performing the movements out of habit rather than intent, Aubrey managed to fill a tray for herself and make her way over to the table where Erwin was waiting for her.

But, it wasn't just Erwin's gaze that was piercing through her... Hange was there, too.

Aubrey gulped, remembering how their last conversation had ended. Eventually, Hange would approach her again and Aubrey wouldn't be able to avoid answering the difficult questions. But, for now, she figured she was safe. Hange was many things but she wasn't a gossip. She wouldn't go around trying to find more information from other people. Instead, she would wait until she could get answers right from the source.

However, Aubrey would be spared that interrogation for the time being. Hange wouldn't dare ask such things in Erwin's presence. At least, Aubrey hoped she wouldn't.

Aubrey casually took her seat next to Erwin, setting her tray down on the table and climbing onto the bench.

"Good morning, Aubrey." Erwin's voice came out sounding soothing and slow, a gentle smile plastered on his face.

Aubrey smiled back at him, grateful for his easy-going and calming presence. When Erwin smiled at her like that, she no longer felt quite so distraught over her transfer. He had a strange way of making her feel like everything was going to be alright.

"Good morning, Erwin, Hange." Aubrey let her eyes slide over both of her friends as she greeted them.

Hange appeared to be uncharacteristically quiet and she simply nodded in response to Aubrey's hello. That silence worried Aubrey more than anything else. Hange was never silent.

But, before her mind could torment her with panicked thoughts, Aubrey was interrupted by Erwin's voice.

"Did you sleep well?"

Aubrey shot him a surprised glance. "Actually, yes, I did. How could you tell?"

A small chuckle made its way through Erwin's lips before he answered. "Well, please don't take offense, but you usually have bags under your eyes. They appear to have lightened up a bit today."

Aubrey's thoughts immediately flashed back to what Levi had told her the night before and she nearly giggled at the similarity of the comments. Levi, too, had commented on the bags under her eyes. It appeared that his wish to see them disappear may have come true.

"Oh, um, yeah. I did sleep a bit more deeply than usual last night."

Erwin raised an eyebrow. If anything, he'd expected Aubrey to be especially exhausted today. Erwin had thought that the news of her transfer would keep her awake into the early hours of the morning.

"I'm glad to hear it."

Aubrey's lips twitched into a small smile before she turned to the plate of food before her, scarfing down the bland oatmeal that she'd become so used to.

Erwin was glad to see that the suddenness of her transfer hadn't made Aubrey lose her appetite and he happily continued their easy conversation.

"And how were the recruits this morning?"

Aubrey swallowed the bite of oatmeal in her mouth and paused. She was beginning to feel a bit strange every time she discussed those three with Erwin. It was like being a mediator in a battle she didn't know how to end. Plus, there was the red flag that Isabel had put up, but Aubrey decided that it was best to leave that until tea. Hange may have been sitting silently, but she still had ears.

Going back to her food, Aubrey attempted a casual answer. "They're fine. I just said a quick hello."

Erwin's expression turned contemplative and his eyes narrowed the slightest bit.

"I see. Have you told him the news?"

Aubrey knew exactly whom Erwin was referring to by saying 'him'. She nodded, taking another bite of her food.

"May I ask how he took it?"

Aubrey's eyes flickered to Hange. Their conversation had definitely caught her attention and she was watching their exchange closely. Aubrey didn't really know how to feel about her listening. Hange would eventually find out about her transfer, anyway, but the topic still felt sensitive to Aubrey. Regardless, she didn't really have a choice, seeing as how Hange was seated at the same table.

Aubrey sighed. "Surprisingly well. You two actually seem to see eye to eye on this matter."

Erwin smiled inwardly. Perhaps Aubrey could serve as more than just a lookout in his battle with Levi. If all continued in the way it was headed, she could become the key to Levi's cooperation. Aubrey was the common ground between the two and maybe Erwin would be able to find a way to utilize that fact.

"Hm. Well, I'm glad. I would guess that his agreement made things quite a bit easier for you."

Aubrey exhaled and nodded. "Yes, it was quite nice to have him stay relatively calm for once."

Erwin chuckled but decided that he should finally get to the real point of their conversation.

"About your orders... I've already informed Saru that you will be joining her, starting today. Just join them at the start of training as you would've with Squad Flagon. I also spoke with Kate this morning. She was a bit reluctant at first, but when I told her it was a request from you, she eventually agreed."

Aubrey felt her heart pump a bit faster in her chest and her fingers tightened around the spoon in her hand. She was genuinely nervous about her transfer. It wasn't that she didn't think she'd be able to keep up or perform her duties, she was only worried about her friends. Even with Kate doing her part, there was no way to be sure that Levi could restrain himself. He really did have a bad temper.

Aubrey snapped herself out of her stupor and responded. "Right. Will do. I trust Kate."

Erwin gave a reassuring smile. He could sense the reluctance in Aubrey's voice and he knew that such a sudden change would be difficult, even for her.

"Make sure you come to me if you have any problems. Otherwise, I'll see you for tea tonight."

Aubrey inhaled deeply, preparing herself for the day. "Of course."

For a moment, Erwin's expression softened and he leaned in. "Aubrey... you'll be fine. I know you will be."

Aubrey's heart melted. Any time Erwin showed such compassion toward her, Aubrey felt like crying. He always believed in her strength so wholeheartedly.

"Thank you, Erwin."

With that, the Commander stood from his seat and headed off, ready to start yet another day of training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! So, I know the chapters have been coming a bit slower than usual but I promise I'm working on them consistently. I'm feeling a bit burnt out after going on a spree and writing like 3,000 words a day. That was too much, even for me LOL.
> 
> Anyway, I know this chapter wasn't very eventful (another transition chapter, I know, ugh) but I'm starting to focus on tying up some loose ends before moving on the next section of the story. WE'RE GETTING THERE. I swear to god, when I first came up with the concept for this fic, I had one scene PERFECTLY planned out in my head and I loved that one scene SO MUCH that I decided to write an entire 80,000 word fic just to be able to write it out and post it LOL.
> 
> We're not quite there yet, but soon. I promise.
> 
> I don't have any specific questions this time but I am curious to know if y'all have any guesses about Aubrey's background??? I don't know if anybody would be able to get it right because her background is pretty complex, but I feel like I've left enough hints to at least pique your interest?? I think it would be fun to see what y'all think. If you have any guesses, I'd love to hear them.
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon. Leave a comment. I love you. Bye.


	24. Chapter 24

Aubrey watched as Erwin walked away, exiting the Mess Hall and ultimately leaving her at the mercy of her sole remaining tablemate.

"You're transferring to Special Ops?"

Hange spoke for the first time that morning and Aubrey felt her blood run cold. She had a feeling this wouldn't be the last question she would have to answer before she left the table.

Steeling herself for what was to come, Aubrey nodded her head and answered. "Yes. I start today."

Hange raised an eyebrow. "That's awfully sudden."

Aubrey tried to hide her swallow as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She would have to tell Hange the truth. She would find out sooner or later and Aubrey would rather be open now than have to explain her lie later.

Sighing, she responded. "Yeah, well.... I had a bit of an... incident with Flagon yesterday. He said some very unkind things and so Erwin has decided to take me off the squad."

Hange scooted closer. She'd been sitting a couple of seats to Aubrey's right but now she was at her side, leaving very little space between them.

"Unkind things?" The curiosity had returned to Hange's face and her reservation from before had gone out the window.

Aubrey's jaw clenched. Hange was really going to make her relive the whole thing... again. After a moment of silence, Aubrey finally continued her story.

"Yes. He insinuated that Erwin does me favors because I'm... because I'm sleeping with him."

Aubrey hung her head, her embarrassment and discomfort becoming visible on her features.

Hange leaned away, her eyes widened and her mouth hanging open. "And Erwin's not reprimanding him?"

Aubrey shook her head. "No, I asked him not to. It would only set Flagon off and make life harder for the recruits."

Hange lowered her eyebrows. "I see..."

For a moment, the two of them sat in silence, both working through the countless thoughts in their brains before Aubrey finally spoke up.

"Hange?"

Hange tore herself from her mind and turned to look at her friend.

Aubrey scrunched her face in discomfort.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Hange blinked a few times before nodding adamantly.

"Sure! Go ahead."

Aubrey swallowed nervously. She was about to ask a question that she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to.

Taking a deep breath, she attempted to calm herself.

"Does... does the entire regiment think that I'm sleeping with Erwin?"

Hange felt her mouth fall open and her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. That was the last thing she'd been expecting.

"What?!"

Aubrey reached out, desperately grasping at her friend's hand. The question had been eating away at the edges of her mind ever since the thought had entered her brain.

"Please, Hange, you're the only one I can ask. Be honest with me, even if it's not what I want to hear."

Hange felt like her head was spinning and for a few beats, all she could do was gape. But, eventually, she settled her dizzying thoughts and felt the reality of Aubrey's question sink in.

Her face darkened and her brows lowered over her eyes. The topic would not be an easy one to approach. It was awkward all the way around.

"Aubrey, if you want the truth, I don't think I'm the best person to ask about this. I'm not really the one that people gossip with."

Aubrey squeezed Hange's hand even tighter. "I know, but you're the only person I can ask. Erwin sure as hell doesn't know and I can't ask the recruits since they just got here. I guess I could ask Kate but she would probably just avoid the question and tell me to stop worrying about it."

Hange stared back at her. "She'd be right, you know. You shouldn't care so much about others' opinions."

Shaking her head, Aubrey pulled Hange even closer. "Please, Hange. I feel like I've been deceived! If that's what people really think of me, then I guess they've just been putting up a front when I'm around."

Hange paused. She really didn't know much besides her own experience, but she figured it could be applied to nearly every soldier in the regiment. Sighing, she gave in.

"Okay, I'll tell you what I think, but again, I'm really not the most informed person."

Aubrey nodded vigorously. Happy that her friend was finally going to tell her what she'd been fishing for.

"When I first arrived, I suspected that the relationship between yourself and the Commander was beyond professional and I think everyone else felt the same."

Aubrey felt her heart sink and she could swear that she heard the walls of her world crumbling around her. Was the kindness and respect that she received from her fellow soldiers all a sham? Had they been putting up a front just to avoid a bad image in the eyes of 'the Commander's girlfriend'?

"But..."

Aubrey's eyes snapped up, her heart pounding in her chest. There was a 'but'?

"I don't believe that's what everyone thinks anymore."

Before Aubrey could ask what she meant, Hange continued.

"I think everyone sees now that the relationship between you two is nothing more than loyalty and friendship. The respect you get from your comrades is genuine, Aubrey. Don't let your own mind run you into a hole."

For a moment, all Aubrey could do was stare. She couldn't tell if she was feeling relief or anxiety or panic or perhaps all three at the same time. She'd prepared herself for the worst and Hange had just given her the exact opposite. She'd been worrying over nothing.

As Aubrey's processing came to an end, she became very aware of an analytical Hange watching her every move. By the look on her face, Aubrey could tell what was coming next. Questions. And lots of them.

But, before Hange could get a single word off her tongue, Aubrey spoke up.

"Hange, I know you're about to interrogate me but I need to say something first."

Hange blinked, unaware that her attempt had been so obvious.

"First, thank you for seriously telling me the truth." Aubrey was truly thankful that Hange had dropped her usually chaotic demeanor to tell her what she needed to know. It turned out that when Hange was calm, she was actually quite steady and wise.

"Second, I know you have questions about me and I know that I promised to answer them but I can't do that just yet."

Hange's face finally formed a reaction to Aubrey's words and her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"Yet?"

Aubrey nodded. "Yes. There's someone I need to tell before I tell you."

Understanding flickered across Hange's features. "Erwin?"

Aubrey bit her lip and shook her head before she mumbled a response. "Actually, no..."

Hange didn't need Aubrey to say a name out loud in order for her to understand. She had turned her head and was staring straight at an oblivious Levi.

It took all of Hange's willpower to avoid gasping, jumping out of her seat, or laughing. She was enamored with the idea of Aubrey finding a companion and she couldn't think of a more interesting person to pair her with.

Aubrey bit her lip and turned back to her friend, hoping that she would see some understanding on Hange's face.

"Can you wait, Hange? I... I'm not ready to tell anyone the answers to the questions you have but I know that when I am, Levi is the person that has to know first."

Hange couldn't deny that a part of her wanted to demand answers that very second. She'd been boiling in her own questions ever since Aubrey had left her hanging in the middle of her confrontation. But, Hange could see the pleading in Aubrey's eyes and if she was being honest, she found Aubrey's desire to reserve her truth for Levi to be irresistibly cute.

"But you will tell me eventually, right?"

Aubrey sighed, turning her eyes to the ground.

"Yes, Hange, I will tell you eventually. You'll be the second person to know, okay?"

Hange's face scrunched as her internal battle came to an end. As badly as she wanted to know Aubrey's truth, she would wait until her friend was ready to tell her.

"Okay."

Aubrey's features instantly lightened and she looked up at her friend, her eyes glowing with relief and delight. Before she knew what she was doing, Aubrey had leaped forward and embraced Hange in a crushing hug.

"Aubrey... can't... breathe..." Hange wheezed out her words as she struggled under her friend's strength.

Upon hearing Hange's gasps, Aubrey instantly withdrew. She always let herself get out of control when she got excited.

"Sorry! Sorry!"

Hange nodded to acknowledge her apology but took a moment to catch her breath before she spoke again.

"It's alright... "

Aubrey cringed as she saw her friend bent over and gasping. It seemed that no matter how many times it happened, Aubrey got too excited when it came to hugs. But, pushing her embarrassment away, she continued her thanks.

"Thank you again, Hange. It means a lot to me that you're willing to wait. I know how your brain demands answers."

Hange glanced up at her and saw the gratefulness carved into Aubrey's features.

"Just so long as you promise to tell me eventually. And don't use Levi as a way to stahl. I can wait, but I can't wait forever."

Aubrey nodded, smiling gently. "Right. Got it."

Hange took an exasperated breath, sitting up straight and then standing from her seat.

"Well, we should get going. Training will be starting soon."

All of the relief that Aubrey had been experiencing flooded away as she remembered what was coming next.

Glancing around, she could see that most of the soldiers had either already exited the Mess Hall or were on their way out. Training would begin momentarily and Aubrey could feel her stomach churning.

While the majority of the regiment had filed out of the room, a few remained and among them was a face that Aubrey gulped anxiously upon seeing. Levi had stayed in his seat and his face still held its stony look. Plus, he was staring straight at her.

Aubrey turned to Hange.

"You go ahead. I think I have some loose ends to tie up with a certain someone."

Hange didn't need any further clarification before she grinned, nodded, and quickly scampered out of the Mess Hall with a crazed look in her eyes. She was having far too much fun observing such a strange relationship.

After seeing Hange run out the door, Aubrey turned her full attention to the task before her. Levi was avoiding looking at her now, seeming to pay attention to whatever words were pouring out of Isabel's mouth but Aubrey knew that he was waiting for her. She had a feeling that Levi wasn't one to stahl, even if it was something like training, which he hated so much.

Cautiously, Aubrey crept toward the three recruits, keeping an eye on their expressions as the talking continued. Isabel seemed as carefree as usual, Furlan was smiling at her no doubt ridiculous banter, and Levi's features were hard and distant as he attempted to remain neutral.

It didn't take long before Aubrey's advance was noticed and a stony Levi turned to look at her.

Aubrey smiled brightly as she came to a stop before him.

"Are you three waiting for me?" Aubrey's tone was light and teasing and she wiggled her eyebrows as she clasped her hands behind her back.

"Tch." Levi turned his head away and adopted an annoyed expression.

Aubrey only giggled at his reaction.

"Aw, That's so sweet of you."

She could see Isabel and Furlan holding back their snickers as Levi shot them a death glare.

"Whatever. Let's just go."

Aubrey chuckled again and nodded, taking a step back as the other three stood from their seats.

Levi rose and walked next to Aubrey, matching her pace as they made their way outside. Isabel and Furlan joined and all four of them walked in a line through the corridors of the castle.

It didn't take long before the sound of their footsteps was covered by the sound of conversation.

"So, Aubrey, if you don't mind my asking, what exactly does the Special Operations Squad do?" Furlan called to Aubrey from the opposite end of their line.

Aubrey turned her head and smiled. She was glad that Furlan was starting a conversation with her. She'd had a good talk with Isabel that morning but she hadn't had a chance to talk with Furlan yet.

"Well, the Special Ops Squad is usually assigned to go ahead of the rest of the regiment and take out as many titans as possible before the rest of our soldiers arrive. I guess you could say that it's less of a "Special Operations" Squad and more of a "Protection Detail". Because the soldiers on the Special Ops Squad have more skill and ability than most, they can spare a lot of lives by leading the charge."

Furlan nodded and lost himself in thought for a moment before his eyebrows scrunched together and he asked another question.

"If the Special Operations Squad is made up of the best soldiers then why are you just being placed in it? From what I've seen, you're one of the most skilled people here."

Aubrey shrank back into herself, flattered by Furlan's compliment.

"Thank you, but if I'm being honest, I'm not really a huge fan of the members of the Special Operations Squad. They're a bit too proud of themselves."

An understanding look crossed Furlan's face.

"Proud, huh?"

Aubrey nodded again. "Yes, they tend to use their skills as an excuse to see themselves as superior."

Furlan smiled. "Well, I don't think we have to worry about you turning out like that."

Aubrey turned to look at him, her eyes widening and her mouth popping open.

"Th-Thank you, Furlan."

Furlan shrugged his shoulders.

"Anyone who would willingly befriend the three outcast thugs probably doesn't have that big of an ego."

Aubrey turned her eyes to the ground and tried to suppress the grin that threatened to take over her face. It made Aubrey unspeakably happy to hear that Furlan considered her a friend.

It took a moment before Aubrey could compose herself enough to speak with a straight face.

"Well, I think that any thugs bold enough to befriend the freaky experiment girl can't be too bad, either."

Furlan gave her a half smile and a small chuckle before he turned his head back forward.

Aubrey allowed her eyes to drift over to a still emotionless Levi. His stare was cold and distant and Aubrey wasn't able to decipher the thoughts running through his mind.

Aubrey watched him closely, waiting for a crack in his facade... but none came.  
In fact, Aubrey had been watched him so intently that she lost all track of time and space and before she knew it, all three of them had arrived at the training field without so much as a flicker of emotion crossing Levi's features.

After coming to a stop and finally tearing her gaze from Levi, Aubrey examined the field before her. Flagon and Kate were on the far left, with Kate already looking annoyed by whatever Flagon was saying to her.

For a brief moment, Aubrey's eyes met with her friend's and she sent her a nod, hoping that Kate would see the meaning behind it. Aubrey felt an overwhelming sense of relief when Kate returned the gesture. She would remember her promise to Erwin and watch over the recruits. Even if it was a small thing, it seemed a huge reassurance to Aubrey. Kate didn't put up with anyone's crap, even her own Captain's.

Having the small boost that she'd needed, Aubrey turned back to her three friends, who were all failing horribly at trying to hide the fact that they were waiting for a goodbye.

Aubrey smiled.

"Well, I guess this is where we part ways. Be on your best behavior and don't react to any of the stupid stuff that Flagon says. He's just an old buffoon and he's not worth anyone's time."

Aubrey got a pout from Isabel, a nod from Furlan, and a displeased grunt from Levi but nobody openly objected to her statement.

Aubrey grinned even wider, trying to make up for their obviously negative attitudes.

"Right! Now go on! Get over there!"

Aubrey made her way behind Isabel and Furlan and gave them both gentle nudges on the back in the direction of Squad Flagon. Isabel huffed and Furlan just stumbled forward before they finally adopted a slow shuffle toward their destination. Levi didn't wait long to follow after them but Aubrey caught his arm before he could slip away.

Aubrey expression turned somber and her brows lowered over her eyes.

"Levi, remember what you promised me. Take this seriously."

Aubrey didn't say anything more but her gaze conveyed all of what she had said the night before. She was genuinely concerned for the safety of her new friends and this training would be their best bet at surviving outside the walls.

To her surprise, Levi answered with a simple nod and a light squeeze of her forearm before he smoothly walked away.

Aubrey watched his back in awe. She'd never expected him to take her so seriously. At best she'd been expecting a 'tch' or at least a 'whatever' but Levi had actually listened to her. It seemed that he would be sticking to his promise.

After a few more seconds of staring, Aubrey felt the knot return to her stomach as she tore her eyes away from the person she so desperately wanted to be near. No matter how strong of a pull she had toward Levi, she had an assignment.

Aubrey scanned the crowd and soon discovered Saru and the rest of the Special Operations Squad on the opposite side of the field.

They stood apart from everyone else, an obvious sign of their high opinions of themselves. Captain Saru was with them, but her face only held a bored look as she inspected her nails and waited for training to begin.

Aubrey took a deep breath before she began her trek across the grass, each step feeling heavier and harder. By the time she finally reached her destination, her legs felt like lead and her breathing was ragged. Aubrey couldn't tell if her reaction was due to her separation from Levi or her finally meeting up with her new squad or perhaps it was a mixture of both. No matter what it was, it was exhausting.

When Aubrey came to a slow stop before her new squad, Captain Saru finally turned her attention to her new member.

"Ah, Aubrey."

At the sound of their Captain's voice, all of the members of the Special Operations Squad turned to look at their new squadmate.

Aubrey took a deep breath, feeling the weight of all of their combined stares.

Saru flashed a sly smile and placed a hand on her hip as she spoke. "Suit up and get ready for team training. Welcome to Special Ops, kid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I KNOW it's been too long since I last updated but here it is. If I'm being honest, my motivation to write this fic is waning a bit and I'm feeling a little burnt out. BUT I promise that I will keep going with it. No hiatuses here.
> 
> Once again, we have another transition chapter. Ugh. Oh well, this one was necessary. Like I said, tying up some loose ends before the juicy stuff comes into play.
> 
> Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, even if it was a bit dull compared to some others. I PROMISE THAT MORE JUICE IS COMING, PLEASE BE PATIENT.
> 
> Please leave a comment! As I said earlier, my motivation is waning and nothing inspires me to write more than comments! Ask me questions, tell me what you liked or didn't like, or even just ask me if a hotdog is a sandwich... I'm happy with anything. I am a literal comment pig.
> 
> I love you guys. Thanks for reading this story and actually enjoying it. :)


	25. Chapter 25

Aubrey did as she was told and readied herself for the day ahead. No matter what kind of training they did that day, she would need to be just as prepared mentally as she was physically. They hadn't even begun yet and she already didn't like the looks she was getting from her new squadmates.

"Well, before we start, I guess we should do some introductions."

Saru still looked bored and annoyed by having to go through the whole process of adding a new member but she did her job nonetheless.

"Alright, everybody listen up. This is Aubrey Daremo. I'm sure you all know that already since she can kill more titans in one minute than any of your sorry asses will kill in your entire lives."

Saru paused for a small dramatic effect and Aubrey saw many faces twist in dislike. She internally groaned. Saru wasn't doing her any favors by making her teammates hate her right off the bat.

"And, lucky for us, starting today she has been transferred to our Special Ops Squad."

More expressions of animosity emerged from the group and Aubrey felt her heart beat faster.

"Anyway, all of you go ahead and introduce yourselves. Leo, you first."

Aubrey's eyes skimmed the group in front of her before a tall man stepped forward. His dark hair was cropped against his skull and his tan skin contrasted against the white of his shirt. Aubrey could see from the way that his clothes lay against his body that Leo was quite muscular. He was a big man and he was definitely someone that would scare just about anyone.

But Aubrey wasn't scared. Which was good because the last thing she needed was to let the members of the Special Operations Squad believe that they held any sort of power over her. All of them would no doubt be poking and prodding at her walls to see if they could find any hidden cracks. Unfortunately for them, they would find none. There was only one person in the whole world who had ever managed to get Aubrey to crumble even the slightest bit, and he was on the opposite end of the training field.

Leo crossed his big arms over his chest and looked down at his new teammate. Aubrey was a whole foot shorter than him and he towered over her with an intimidating presence. His brows lowered over two small blue eyes and his thin lips were pulled into a small scowl.

"I'm Leo."

Aubrey waited, perhaps expecting him to say a bit more, but nothing ever came. Apparently, Captain Saru wasn't satisfied with his introduction, either.

"Oh, come on. That's it? Tell her how old you are, what your favorite color is, do anything besides this shit. Guess it was too much for me to hope that you all knew how to say a proper hello."

Leo's scowl deepened and he shot a glare at his Captain. But he followed her instructions.

"Fine. I'm twenty six, if you must know and I have 18 kills and 35 assists."

Aubrey grinned at him and extended her hand. His intense demeanor didn't affect her in the slightest and even though she already had a somewhat negative image of her new squadmates, she wanted to do her best to make friends where she could.

"I'm Aubrey Daremo. I'm sixteen and I have 52 kills and 23 assists."

For a moment Aubrey waited, but no hand met hers. When she finally lowered it back to her side, she became painfully aware of the awestruck faces that watched her. She'd completely forgotten about the effects that her stats had on people. Her numbers were higher than those of even the most experienced soldiers and yet, she was just sixteen and had only been on one real expedition outside the walls.

Aubrey waited awkwardly and shifted her weight from side to side. The air was filled with tension and she didn't know what to do next. Should she move on to the next person? Continue a conversation with Leo? Default to Captain Saru?

Suddenly, a pealing laugh broke through the silence and Aubrey turned to see Captain Saru with a hand to her chest and her head thrown back.

"Hah! Nice one, kid. Okay! Next person! Jacob, how about you?"

Another man stepped forward, a bit younger than Leo and a bit shorter as well. His frame was slim and sleek but Aubrey could tell that he, too, was made of a good amount of muscle. His brown hair hung across his forehead and a few strands fell into his brown eyes. A strong jaw framed his face and what seemed to have a permanent look of indifference etched into his features.

Aubrey forced her lips to curl into a gentle smile and once again she extended a hand, hoping that this time it would be met. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

Jacob only stared at Aubrey's offered hand and it wasn't long before she once again awkwardly retracted her arm. The Special Operations Squad was definitely not welcoming.

"Yikes, Jacob. The least you could've done was shake her hand."

Saru walked past Aubrey and gave Jacob a light slap on the cheek before she pulled forward the next member of the squad.

"This here is Lena."

Aubrey shook herself free of any lingering thoughts and focused on the woman before her.

Lena's hair was an ashy brown that she'd pulled back into a lumpy ponytail and she was quite a bit taller than Aubrey. Her brown eyes were hidden behind a set of heavy eyelids and dark circles and it gave her a look as if she were constantly sulking. Her lips were turned down at the corners and Aubrey could tell that she, too, wasn't very happy about the newest addition to her squad.

Aubrey didn't know if she should go through the trouble of raising her hand again or if she should simply smile and avoid the awkwardness of once again being rejected.

But, Aubrey's deliberation didn't last very long, as Lena extended her own slim arm and offered it. Aubrey was a bit caught off guard but after a second of slight shock, she quickly shook Lena's hand. Her handshake wasn't very strong and Aubrey could tell that she wasn't really putting much effort into it, but she appreciated Lena's gesture all the same. A half-hearted handshake was still better than no handshake at all.

As soon as she could, Lena allowed her hand to drop back to her side, her jaw clenching and unclenching as she stood.

Aubrey waited to see if anything more would be said but nothing came and eventually Saru came to the rescue once again.

"Okay, well, let's finish this off. Last but definitely not least, we have our darling little Chris."

Saru moved behind the final member of the squad and Aubrey's eyes sparkled as she took in the sight of her final teammate. Saru wasn't joking when she called Chris adorable. The girl was small, perhaps an inch or two taller than Aubrey and she had fair and clear skin matched with long locks of flowing blond hair and a set of dazzling blue eyes. Thick lashes and a small nose gave her a young and innocent appearance and her slight frame made Aubrey feel like she would break in half with a gust of wind.

"Hi, I'm Christina, but everybody calls me Chris." The girl's voice was quiet and timid as she stepped forward and, yet again, presented Aubrey with a hand.

Aubrey took it eagerly and was pleasantly surprised to find that while Chris's shake was gentle, it was firm and intentional. It seemed Aubrey had found one member of the Special Operations Squad that she might actually get along with.

"I'm Aubrey. Nice to meet you."

A small smile made its way to Chris's lips and her eyes fell to the ground as their hands dropped away.

Aubrey smiled back at her. The girl was obviously a bit shy but Aubrey had never had a problem making friends before. She could usually chat up any kind of person, even the most reserved ones.

"Right, well now that the show's over we should get a move on, kids. Erwin has team training planned for the morning and then formation training in the afternoon. There's nothing fancy for us to do today, so just try to get used to the addition to the squad."

Displeased mumbles and grunts came from both Leo and Jacob, Lena remained completely silent, and Chris just gave a small nod.

Aubrey allowed her eyes to linger on each of her new squadmates before Saru turned on her heel and headed toward the crowd. When Aubrey finally looked up, she spotted Erwin staring straight at her, a questioning look in his eyes.

All Aubrey could do was give him a small nod. The worst was over, now she would just have to survive the day.

_______________________

Aubrey rubbed the back of her neck in exhaustion as she finally made her way off the training field. At her side was Chris, whom she had stuck close to for the entire day. In fact, after a few ice breaking comments, Aubrey had even gotten the girl to open up a bit. In between drills and practice runs, she'd found out that Chris was nineteen years old and was originally from a small town in the eastern part of Wall Rose. She'd been ranked first in her class in the Cadet Corps and had always planned on joining the MPs. But, ultimately, she ended up following her sister, who had been dead-set on becoming a Scout. Chris later told her that her sister had died on their third expedition outside the walls. It wasn't hard for Aubrey to tell that the wound still ran deep.

After learning a little bit about her new teammate, Aubrey felt herself growing quite attached to Chris. They'd spent the entire day at each other's sides and Aubrey was absolutely amazed at her skill and ability. Being on the Special Operations Squad, it was a given that Chris was capable on the battlefield, but it was still hard for Aubrey to connect the timid and shy girl she spoke to with the expert soldier she saw during drills.

And the drills themselves had definitely not been easy. Even if Saru usually came off as bored or disinterested, she was absolutely ruthless when it came to the performance of her squad. She'd made them run drills over and over again to the point where they'd all practically missed lunch and Aubrey had only had time to run to the Mess Hall and down a few leftover rolls and a ration bar. She'd missed her time with Levi and Erwin completely.

After that, everyone had participated in formation training, which, while not physically demanding, was still exhausting. Aubrey had been bent over sheet after sheet of paper describing the exact layout of the formations for the upcoming expedition and by the time training had ended, she'd felt as if her head were about to explode.

So, as Aubrey finally made her way to the Mess Hall for dinner, with Chris at her side, she felt an overwhelming sense of relief that her first day as a member of the Special Operations Squad was over. If anything, it had been interesting. Leo and Jacob were two peas in a pod and played off each other like they'd been doing it for years... which they probably had. Lena kept mostly to herself but every once in a while spoke up to make some kind of suggestion or useful comment. As for Chris, Aubrey was really starting to like her.

Aubrey groaned as they rounded the corner to the Mess Hall. Now that she'd joined another squad, she had yet another choice for where to sit during meal times. She internally cursed as she realized she'd probably have to ditch Chris for Erwin and/or Levi. Both of them were staring at her with an intensity that made Aubrey want to turn around and go out the way she came.

"Chris, I think this is where I have to leave you for today. I have some... business to take care of."

Chris nodded, understanding visible on her features. She, too, had seen the stares that Aubrey was receiving.

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night."

After squeaking out her timid response, Chris gave Aubrey a quick nod and made her way to the back tables, filling up a tray for herself.

Aubrey smiled at the back of her new friend. She was grateful beyond belief to have found somebody to connect with on her new team. Even if she'd been prepared for all of them to be unwelcoming, she was glad that she'd found somebody to lean on.

Breaking herself from her thoughts, Aubrey turned her attention to the two pairs of eyes that were boring into her. Which stare should she meet?

Aubrey didn't have to think very long before she had her answer. Erwin. He usually left dinner early to get a headstart on paperwork so if Aubrey wanted to speak with him at all before tea time, it would have to be now.

But that left another set of eyes that were destined to turn unhappy when she walked in the other direction.

Aubrey turned to face Levi and held up a finger, signaling to him that she'd be over eventually, she just had to do something first. Levi's eyes only narrowed in response and Aubrey was sure that he wasn't pleased with her making him wait. She ignored him. If he'd waited all day, he could wait a few more minutes.

Turning in the other direction, Aubrey finally made contact with Erwin's eyes. As soon as she looked at him, a small smile graced his lips and Aubrey beamed back at him.

She was suddenly overcome with how much she'd missed him during the day. Not being able to have lunch in the Mess Hall had deprived her of his company and it seemed that it had taken a serious toll on her. Apparently, she was still more dependent upon him than she liked to admit.

"Hi." Aubrey came to an abrupt stop before her friend and rocked back and forth on her heels as she greeted him.

Erwin raised an eyebrow. "You're not going to fill a tray?"

Aubrey suddenly became very aware of the gnawing hunger in her stomach.

"Oh, shoot! I completely forgot!"

Erwin chuckled at her rambling but continued.

"Here, take a seat. I'll keep my speech short and then you can go get something to eat. Besides, I'm assuming you have someone else you need to speak with as well."

Aubrey found it difficult to hide the flush that automatically came to her cheeks. She cleared her throat and took a seat, hoping that her discomfort wasn't quite so obvious.

"Um, yes. I think he might strangle someone if I keep him waiting too long."

Erwin chuckled once again.

"Well, we certainly can't let that happen."

Aubrey nodded and poked at a scratch in the table as she waited for Erwin to continue.

Sensing that it was his opportunity to speak, Erwin finally rattled off what he needed to say.

"Essentially I just wanted to know how your day went. I'll see you for tea in a bit so you can go into more detail then. Right now, I just want to know if there's anything urgent that you need to tell me."

Aubrey furrowed her brows.

"No, nothing bad happened, I suppose. I mean, the day went as well as could be expected, considering that they are the Special Operations Squad."

Erwin suppressed another laugh as he remembered Aubrey's negative perception of the group.

"Alright, good. Saru, at least, treated you well, I hope?"

Aubrey nodded. While Saru had certainly held her to a high standard, she'd been encouraging enough. Plus, she'd walked her through all of those horrifying introductions in the morning.

Erwin shifted in his seat. "Good. I won't keep you any longer, then. You're coming to tea?"

Aubrey turned and grinned at him. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Erwin smiled again and stood from his seat, taking his empty tray with him.

"See you then."

Aubrey watched his back for just a moment before turning to face the eyes that she could still feel boring into her back.

Levi's silvery stare was just as intense as ever and Aubrey felt a shiver run down her spine as she took him in. The pull in her chest was so strong that she felt like her feet had a mind of their own and, before she knew it, she'd stood from her seat and taken a few steps forward.

But... there was something she had to do first. Food.

Aubrey gave Levi another aching glance and scurried to the back tables, filling a tray as quickly as she possibly could. Even though Levi was impatient, her stomach was even more so.

After slapping an unreasonable amount of potatoes and green beans onto her plate, Aubrey finally made her way over to the recruits' table.

"Well? How was training?"

Aubrey flashed her bright teeth as she easily took a seat next to Levi. She allowed herself to scoot a bit closer to him than was probably considered 'normal' but, for once, she didn't really care. The pull in her chest had been distracting her all day and she felt like she deserved at least a little reward. The closer she got to Levi, the more at ease she felt and, considering the stressful day she'd had, Aubrey was practically dying to relax a little bit.

If Levi noticed that Aubrey was sitting just a few inches from him, he didn't show it. His face remained as calm as ever and his body matched his expression. The only hint of feeling that Aubrey could detect in his features was a slight burning in his eyes, though she couldn't really tell what emotion they were actually conveying.

"It was fine."

Levi answered her in the most monotone fashion she's ever heard and she raised a quizzical brow. She really doubted that training had gone off without a hitch for them.

Aubrey turned her attention to her two other table mates.

"Is that true?"

Isabel instantly cracked a smile and Furlan simply averted his gaze.

"Well, we didn't get in any real trouble." Isabel looked like she was holding back a laugh and Levi was glaring at her in a way that sent a shiver down Aubrey's spine.

Aubrey sighed and felt her shoulders slump forward. She supposed that was the best answer she could've hoped for. It would be foolish to expect that those three would bow their heads like obedient dogs just because she'd requested it.

"Am I allowed to ask what kind of not real trouble you did get into?"

The table was silent for a moment and Aubrey witnessed some kind of unspoken battle going on between Levi and Isabel. Their eyes were locked and as Isabel's smile grew wider, Levi's scowl grew deeper.

It didn't take long for Levi to lose the battle and for Isabel to break into a half laugh, half wheeze explanation.

"Well, that girl, Kate, I think you said her name was? Anyway, she kept on calling Big Bro 'Shorty'. That was bad enough but then that stupid Captain started joining in and eventually Big Bro told him to go eat his own shit."

Aubrey stared open mouthed at the group.

"What is it with you and shit jokes?"

Isabel laughed even louder and Furlan found himself unable to conceal a smile for any longer.

"Tch." Levi looked away and Aubrey couldn't help the smile that came to her own lips.

"Flagon didn't reprimand you too harshly, I take it?"

Aubrey knew that Kate must have been involved in their lessened punishment. Otherwise, Aubrey was sure that all three of them would be shoveling the stables rather than enjoying their dinner.

"Oh, yeah... I think we would've gotten something pretty bad if it hadn't been for that other girl. The Captain looked like he was about to explode but before he could say anything, she pulled him aside and said something that made his face go white. Maybe she blackmailed him or something."

Aubrey chuckled and nodded. She didn't think that Kate had any real dirt on Flagon but she certainly had her ways. Kate could be very intimidating, even to a Captain.

Aubrey shoved a fork into her pile of mashed potatoes and took a heaping bite. She'd have to thank Kate later.

"Well, good. I'm glad you have someone new to look out for you when I can't be on patrol."

Furlan raised an eyebrow. "Patrol?"

Aubrey chuckled again and took another bite of her dinner. "Yes, you three are a full time gig."

Her joke was followed by a sigh from Levi and Aubrey tensed as she felt him shift toward her. He was close. Very close. So close that she nearly choked on her green beans.

His leg was touching hers and she could feel the flames rippling through her body as she struggled to swallow.

However, Levi didn't seem to be having the same reaction. He sat, calmly and cooly, as if he weren't even aware of their situation. His movement had been subtle and well-concealed, but Aubrey was sure that it had been intentional. She knew for a fact that Levi felt the same flames she did.

Aubrey tried to remain as calm as possible, even with her heart beating so loudly she was sure it could be heard across the room.

Aubrey turned her attention back to her food, hoping that focusing on something mundane and normal would slow her pulse.

While shoveling her dinner into her mouth, Aubrey quickly found that it wasn't the distraction she was looking for, as the flames burned just as hot and bright as ever on her skin.

The influence that Levi could have over her actions, moods, and feelings was absolutely ridiculous. Aubrey had never met anyone in her entire life that could affect her in such a way. Even just sitting here, eating dinner with him, she felt vulnerable. Her defenses were only weak to him and she knew that, even in this very moment, he could do or say something that would make her walls crumble.

"Oi, slow down. You'll choke."

Aubrey was brought back to the present by a hand on her wrist and from the way her skin burned at its touch, there was no doubt that it belonged to Levi.

Aubrey glanced down at her tray to see that she'd devoured nearly her entire meal. When had that happened?

"O-Oh. Yeah, you're right. I guess I got lost in my own thoughts."

Aubrey gave a weak smile and Levi released her hand, allowing the iciness that always followed his disappearance to creep up her arm.

Shaking off her sudden feelings of exposure, Aubrey finished the rest of her meal, being sure to take slow bites and chew properly.

When she finished, she gingerly set her fork onto her plate and glanced up at her tablemates. All of them had finished eating some time ago and had since lost themselves in their own minds. Isabel was staring into space, Furlan was methodically running his fingers over a scratch in the table, and Levi sat with his arms crossed over his chest, his face covered with an expression that suggested deep thought.

"Ahem." Aubrey cleared her throat and all three of her friends snapped back to reality: Isabel even shook her head as if to rid herself of lingering ideas. "Should we get going?"

There was a slight pause before anyone responded but eventually Furlan answered.

"Y-Yes. It's getting pretty late, isn't it?"

Aubrey nodded and reluctantly rose from her seat. As soon as she stood, she regretted having been the one to move first, as Levi's warmth faded away. She should have waited for everyone else to get up and taken in as many extra seconds as she could.

Sighing, Aubrey moved away, feeling the cold air hit her skin. But, the chill didn't last long.

To her surprise, Levi stood next to her and left very little gap between them. He was close enough that she could still feel the heat radiating off his body.

Aubrey smiled to herself. It looked like she was going to get her few extra seconds.

"All of you should go on ahead. I have to go see Erwin before I turn in for the night."

At the mention of the Commander's name, all three of their faces took on a distasteful look but no one objected.

Aubrey waited a few beats before she broke the silence that had settled over them.

"Right, well, I'll see you all tomorrow, then."

With one last grin, Aubrey turned away, but not before she allowed her fingers to brush against Levi's in a silent goodbye.

Aubrey moved away without glancing back at her three friends. She was afraid that whatever she saw in Levi's eyes would be enough to make her heart stop.

But just as Aubrey made her way into the kitchens to prepare her evening tea, she saw a familiar figure waiting for her. Kate.

Aubrey paused, meeting her gaze as a slight smile came to her friend's lips. Aubrey returned it and approached her.

"Kate! What are you doing here?"

Kate kicked at the stone floor with her boot as her eyes drifted to the ground.

"I wanted to talk with you and I know you always come in here after dinner. So I waited."

Aubrey, who had already busied herself with putting the kettle on the stove, whirled around to face her.

"Waited? Why didn't you just come find me? I was just eating with the recruits."

Kate rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air.

"Well, I didn't want to talk to you in front of them because I wanted to talk to you about them."

Recognition flickered across Aubrey's features and she instantly felt dumb for even asking.

"Oh, right. Of course. What is it that you wanted to tell me?"

Kate fell silent for a few seconds before she began to speak hesitantly, her voice quiet and reserved.

"I know that you wanted me to look out for those weirdos. They're doing just fine, Aubrey. Shorty's a bit of a hothead but if I'm being honest, he's the best form of entertainment I've had in a while."

Aubrey chuckled. "Yes, he can be pretty amusing at times."

Quiet filled the air and the only sounds that could be heard were distant murmurs of whoever remained in the Mess Hall and the heating of the kettle on the stove.

For what could have been seconds, minutes, or hours, Aubrey and Kate stood in the kitchen, their eyes on the ground as both of them considered what to say next.

Aubrey was just beginning to feel the quiet turn uncomfortable when Kate spoke up.

"Whatever it is that you're doing with them, Aubrey, just... make sure that you won't regret it."

Aubrey raised her eyes to meet Kate's and found her friend's gaze filled with genuine concern and care.

A piece of Aubrey's heart melted. She'd truly found a place where people cared about who she was and not just what she could do.

"I know what I'm getting into, Kate. You don't have to worry about me."

Aubrey felt a tug in her stomach. She wasn't really sure that she knew what she was getting into and she wasn't really sure that everything would be okay, but there was no use in making her friend worry about her. There was nothing she could do now: Aubrey was in far too deep.

Kate nodded and seemed to accept Aubrey's answer, the worried look receding from her eyes.

"Well, I'll be on my way, then."

Kate pushed off the wall she'd been leaning against just as the kettle started to squeal and Aubrey turned to remove it from the flame.

When she turned back, Kate was almost out the door.

"Wait! Kate!"

Kate froze and turned back, waiting for whatever Aubrey had to add.

Aubrey smiled. "What exactly did you tell Flagon to get him to back off so easily?"

Kate's features molded into a smirk and she crossed her arms over her chest proudly.

"I told him that if he said another word, I really would make him eat his own shit."

Aubrey's grin grew so wide that her cheeks hurt and it was all that she could do to get out her next sentence.

"Thank you, Kate. For everything."

With that, her friend turned and left the kitchen. This time, for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! I hope you enjoyed this EXTRA LONG chapter after a short break. Like I said, I've been writing at a slower pace lately, but thanks to all of you leaving such encouraging comments, my motivation has been returning. KEEP LEAVING THEM.
> 
> As for the chapter itself, I'm actually SUPER happy with the way that it turned out. I liked editing it, which is usually how I know it's a decent chapter, LOL.
> 
> Next chapter will have a lot of Levi action and then there might be one more after that before we get to the expedition. But, like I said, I'm gonna start moving things a bit quicker now.
> 
> Anyway, I love you all and thank you sooooooo much for the support on this story. It melts my heart to know that so many people are enjoying it. I love you <3 :)))))))


	26. Chapter 26

Aubrey stretched her arms toward the night sky as a yawn escaped her lips. She'd had an eventful day.

After speaking with Kate in the kitchens, she'd made her way to Erwin's office for their nightly tea time. Their conversation had been fairly plain, but pleasant nonetheless. He'd asked her about her first day on the Special Operations Squad and she hadn't hesitated to tell him the truth. For the most part, they were what she'd expected, except for Chris.

Erwin had been happy to hear that she'd found some sort of companion and that she wasn't completely against the idea of continuing her new assignment. But, to Aubrey's surprise, when she'd brought up the red flag she'd sensed from Isabel earlier, Erwin had waved it off. He hadn't seemed the slightest bit surprised and Aubrey had been left with a bitter taste in her mouth as she tried to imagine the foul play that was going behind her back between Levi and Erwin.

After chatting for a while longer, Aubrey had left Erwin to do his paperwork and had returned the tea cups to the kitchen.

Erwin hadn't mentioned Levi or the recruits in any way. Perhaps he was trying to give her a place where she didn't have to think of them at all. When she wasn't immediately distracted, they were the only thing that occupied her thoughts and Aubrey was beginning to feel as if she were going a bit insane.

In fact, as she strolled down the dirt path toward the barracks, Aubrey felt an overwhelming urge to alter her course and head straight for Levi's room. She didn't have anything specific that she needed to say to him and she didn't have any real reason to disrupt him in general. But still... the pull in her chest and the ache in her heart told her that her feet were moving in the wrong direction and that she needed to have him in her sights immediately.

But she couldn't. Even with their small lapse in judgement at dinner, they still had boundaries.

Ugh. Aubrey was getting sick of the word 'boundaries' at a rapid pace. All day long she had to repeat it inside her own mind just to keep herself under control. At all times she had an insatiable urge to be at Levi's side. She wanted to hold his hand, brush the hair from his eyes, straighten his collar. All of which were things that definitely crossed their stupid 'boundaries'. She was beginning to regret having agreed to their rules in the first place.

But... every time she returned to her cold and empty room, she remembered why she had. Aubrey knew that losing Levi now, even though nothing had really happened between them, would devastate her. If she lost him, she wasn't sure she would be able to recover. Even Erwin wouldn't be able to save her if yet another precious person was ripped from her life.

Aubrey hesitated as she arrived in front of the door to her room. She was desperately exhausted and yet she knew that the nightmare would still plague her sleep. Plus, the majority of her day had been spent apart from Levi, who seemed to be the only reprieve she had from her nightly visions.

Sighing, she finally turned the knob and stepped into her room. It was just as cold and dark as ever.

Flicking on the lights, Aubrey went about the business of getting ready for bed as quickly as possible. She still hadn't done her laundry, and so she ended up grabbing the same casual outfit that she'd slept in the night before.

Aubrey quickly made her way to the showers, being as quiet as possible as she navigated the familiar hallways. After cleaning herself of the day's dirt and grime, she dressed and scurried to the laundry room to wash her dirty uniform. She may not have the time or energy to do a full load, but she did need a clean outfit for the next day.

After a few minutes of scrubbing and rinsing, Aubrey was satisfied with the job she'd done and returned to her room, where she hung the uniform up to dry. With any luck, it wouldn't be too damp when she put it on in the morning.

Aubrey exhaled as she plopped down onto her bed. It truly had been a long day and her body felt as if it were ready to collapse. And yet, just as always, her mind wasn't ready for sleep.

Aubrey glanced out the window and took in the sight of the shimmering night sky. The stars were especially bright tonight, and the moon was close to full. It would only be a few more days before she could really, truly sleep.

Aubrey rubbed the back of her neck as she silently wished for her muscles to stop aching. Saru had really pushed them today and while Aubrey hadn't had any trouble keeping up, it was still more intense work than she was used to.

In the middle of examining a forming bruise that she'd gotten at some point during the day, Aubrey heard a knock at her door. The back door.

Her heart skipped a beat and she had to remind herself to breathe as the fluttering feeling of excitement crept through her veins. Could it really be him?

Each step toward the door caused ripples of adrenaline to run through Aubrey's body as she finally reached for the knob. Her heart was pounding so fast that she was sure everyone in the building could hear it.

Finally, Aubrey found the courage to whip open the door, pulling it back so fast that a draft of air washed over her.

"Levi." Aubrey spoke his name just barely above a whisper. Her heart, which had already been pumping at a ridiculous pace, had leapt into her throat and caused her eyes to go wide and her mouth to pop open.

He was exactly who she wanted to see.

"Are you going for a walk?"

It took Aubrey a few seconds before she was able to process what he'd said. She was still too mesmerized by the fact that he was actually there.

"O-Oh, um..."

Aubrey's mind took a few more beats to realize what was occurring. If she said yes, he was going to go with her. That made answering easy.

"Yes, I am."

Levi nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Then let's go."

Aubrey fought hard to slow her heart and simply hummed in agreement.

She flicked off the lights and, without a second glance, shut the door behind her.

Aubrey eyed Levi as she made her way to his side. His outfit was almost exactly the same as it had been the previous night, but this time his shirt was black, making him blend in with the darkness of the night.

Aubrey didn't fail to notice that he hadn't brought a jacket, even though the air was chillier than before. She smiled to herself. Perhaps she was reading into it too much, or perhaps... he'd liked being wrapped in a blanket beside her.

"So... will you be joining me for walks every night?"

Levi glanced sideways at her as they began to stroll down the path. His expression was unreadable.

"Do you go for walks every night?"

Aubrey paused, weighing her options. What she wanted to say was risky and might elicit an unwanted response. But, after a few seconds of deliberation, she threw her reservations out the window. She was sick of dancing around the edges of their 'boundaries'.

"I will if you're going with me."

Levi's steps faltered a bit but he quickly regained his composure. He hadn't been expecting her to say something so bold.

He cursed the ever-brightening light from the moon. It cast enough of a glow over the world that Aubrey could probably see the heat that had risen to his cheeks.

Keeping his expression as stoic as he could, Levi spoke up.

"Then I guess we'll be going every night."

Aubrey couldn't hide the grin that slowly crept across her lips. This was something to look forward to. Even if boundaries were still in place, just the promise of Levi's company would be enough to get her through any day of training, no matter how awkward or grueling.

"Alright. I'll hold you to that."

Levi gave her a curt nod, still trying to hide the emotions that lie just beneath the surface of his carefully crafted expression.

After a few moments of calm silence, Aubrey spoke, her tone light.

"So... back to the pond tonight?"

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Did you have some other place in mind?"

Aubrey shook her head, backtracking.

"No, I was just wondering if you were starting to get bored of it."

Levi felt his brows scrunch together.

"How could I ever get bored of it?"

Aubrey's eyes widened and she felt a surge of joy run through her. Knowing that Levi enjoyed their spot just as much as she did made her feel like she was floating.

Aubrey's step picked up a bounce as they continued down the path.

"Never mind, then."

The two of them continued down the trail as a comfortable silence took over. Once again, Aubrey was standing a bit closer to Levi than was really necessary but she kept her fingers pressed against her thighs, intent on resisting the urge she had to take his hand. She nearly sighed as they entered the tree line. Her resolve was growing weaker by the day and she was beginning to accept, perhaps even like, that sooner or later, their rules would cease to exist.

A snap of a twig underfoot was the sound that brought Aubrey back to the present moment.

The night was colder under the cover of the trees and a shiver ran up her spine. There was a blanket in the cabin with her name on it.

Aubrey snuck a sideways glance at her companion only to find that he looked just as lost in thought as she had been just a moment before.

Aubrey hesitated, unsure of whether she wanted to break his concentration. His face was serious and dark, like he was contemplating a matter of great importance.

But, just as she had decided to keep quiet, Levi's eyes flickered to meet hers.

"Those Special Operations brats didn't seem very welcoming."

Levi's voice was low and rough and Aubrey could sense a hidden emotion behind his words, though she couldn't pinpoint what it was.

She raised an eyebrow.

"You were watching?"

Levi didn't respond but Aubrey thought she could see him tilting his head away from her, trying to hide his expression. That was all the answer she needed.

Aubrey let a small chuckle escape her lips before she addressed his original concern.

"I suppose they weren't all that hospitable, but one of them, Chris, is actually very sweet. And Captain Saru isn't all that bad either, even if she is a tyrant when it comes to training."

Aubrey once again rubbed her aching muscles as the discomfort came to the forefront of her mind.

Levi nodded, not knowing what he could add to her statement. Luckily, he didn't have to say anything more for Aubrey to feel comfortable continuing their conversation.

"What about you? Did training go alright apart from your little outburst?"

Levi turned his head sharply. "Tch. That asshole had it coming."

Aubrey sighed. For a moment, she considered reprimanding him for his attitude toward Flagon but she quickly abandoned the idea. No matter what she said, she had a feeling that Levi's dislike for the man wouldn't be disappearing any time soon.

"Well, apart from that, how did it go?"

Levi huffed and a scowl etched into his face.

"Your 'Captain' is the worst soldier on the team, your drills are too focused on teamwork to take advantage of individual strengths, and the way you explain your formations is far too complex. It's just a fucking triangle; say it how it is."

Aubrey felt her jaw drop to the ground and her eyes bug out of her head. Rarely had she ever heard Levi speak so much at once and never had she thought she'd hear him complain about the ineffectiveness of Survey Corps training.

Levi glanced at her and was caught off guard by her awed expression.

"What?"

Aubrey laughed.

She laughed loud enough for the sound to echo through the trees and for Levi to become concerned for her sanity.

His eyes narrowed as she finally pulled herself together, small giggles still escaping every few seconds.

"Well, at least you kept your promise. Sounds like you're taking it seriously."

"Tch."

Levi averted his eyes once again but he couldn't hide the way his expression softened just the tiniest bit.

Aubrey smiled at his reaction but her attention was soon drawn elsewhere as they finally broke into the clearing that held the all too familiar pond.

Before she could make her way to their usual spot, Aubrey turned to Levi.

"Blanket?"

Levi tested the night air around him. The temperature had dropped even further since they'd left the barracks and he was starting to feel a chill creep through his bones.

With a simple nod, he gave his reply.

Aubrey flashed a smile and Levi could clearly see her teeth's pearly reflection in the moonlight.

"Okay, I'll be right back. Stay."

Before he could object, Aubrey was racing away, her feet easily skirting around the edge of the pond. It looked as if she'd done it a thousand times. She probably had.

Levi once again took in the sight of the pond. It truly was the most beautiful place he had ever seen. Though he hadn't seen much of the surface, he was still fairly sure that even life above ground didn't offer much more than this.

Disregarding Aubrey's order to 'stay', Levi moved forward, naturally finding his way to the peninsula that had, at some point, become their regular spot.

By the time he'd just begun to sit down, Aubrey was already running out of the cabin.

Levi felt a rush go through him when he saw that she was carrying only one blanket.

He was thrilled, excited even. And yet he was angry, resentful. Why did she have to make it so hard for him to stay away?

They'd put their boundaries in place and yet they seemed to do very little to achieve what they'd been created for in the first place. Every day that went by, Levi could feel his resolve weakening. He'd grown exponentially more attached to her since their creation of their 'rules' and yet, he couldn't bring himself to regret it. Her presence was too comforting, too natural. When he was with her, everything felt so... easy.

"I told you to stay!"

By now, Aubrey had made her way around the pond and arrived at the peninsula.

Levi glared up at her, his emotions still riling beneath the surface. It was best if he kept his thoughts to himself. After all, his feelings for Aubrey didn't really matter. He'd come to complete a mission and it had to be done no matter what.

"I don't take orders from brats."

Aubrey scrunched her face in dislike and let out a groan as she sank to the ground. His stupid nickname was sticking.

As she hit the ground, Aubrey immediately felt a shiver run through her. It was colder out than she'd realized and she was suddenly hurrying to unravel the blanket in her hands.

Her fingers worked nimbly and soon the blanket was unfolded and tossed around her shoulders. For a moment, she felt a bit more comfortable but then the cool air began seeping back into her bones.

Aubrey turned to her right, where Levi was watching her, an eyebrow raised and a very unamused expression on his face.

Aubrey grinned at him and opened her arms as a gesture for him to join her inside the cover of the blanket.

"I could use a little extra warmth if you don't mind."

Levi hesitated. He was still feeling angry, except now his anger was more immediate. It was things like this, things like these gestures and requests that he couldn't possibly refuse her and that brought him closer than he'd ever intended. Why did she have to make it so difficult?

"Tch."

Levi gave in, deciding to let his internal squabble drop. It was taking away more energy than he could spare. For tonight, he would take the easy route.

Sliding across the ground in a way that seemed entirely too graceful, Aubrey suppressed her smile as she felt him join her within the folds of the blanket. She'd only grabbed one, knowing full well what that meant, and yet, somehow, she hadn't been able to stop herself.

Levi's warmth instantly forced the chill out of Aubrey's body and the flames that burned wherever they touched were enough to keep her toasty no matter how cold the air got.

Aubrey snuck a glance at her companion. His eyes were to the sky, taking in the beauty of the stars, which always seemed to shine so brightly at the pond.

Aubrey glanced up at them, too, trying to think of something for them to talk about. But, after a few minutes of searching, with no results, she gave up, deciding that there was really no need to speak. Sometimes, she could get just as much enjoyment out of simply being close to Levi as she did from conversing with him.

So, Aubrey turned her head and only asked one question.

"Would you like to lie down?"

Levi cocked an eyebrow.

"Lie down?"

Aubrey nodded, already leaning back onto the grass.

"Yes, my muscles ache too much to be sitting up. If we're going to watch the stars, at least let me lie back."

Levi scrunched his face in disgust as he resisted the pull of the blanket under Aubrey's weight.

"That's disgusting. The ground is filthy."

Aubrey's eyes narrowed and she exhaled sharply. She wasn't feeling particularly patient tonight.

"I don't care."

Before he could do anything to stop her, Aubrey grasped Levi's shoulder and yanked, pulling him toward the ground with her.

"Oi! Dumb brat!"

Levi scrambled on the ground, eventually propping himself up on an elbow.

"There, now all of the filth that's on the ground is already on you so there's no point in getting back up."

Levi's lips pulled back to reveal his blinding teeth.

"That doesn't make any sense, idiot."

Aubrey huffed, crossing her arms over her chest beneath the blanket. Amazingly, it had stayed wrapped securely around the both of them despite Levi's clambering.

"Well, it makes sense to me, so stop being stubborn and just lie down already."

Levi opened his mouth to protest but a dark look from Aubrey was enough to tell him that she wouldn't be changing her mind. Arguing with her would only make things harder and he'd already promised himself the easy route for the night.

"Tch. You really are a brat."

As he spoke, Levi returned to lying fully on the ground, even if he was careful to make sure that there was a layer of blanket between himself and the dirt at all times.

Aubrey eyed him cautiously. She was surprised that her glare had been enough to get Levi to back off. Perhaps he'd seen that she meant business... or perhaps he'd decided that lying on the ground with her wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Either way, she was grateful that he'd spared her from what would have been a draining round of banter.

Aubrey sighed, trying to relax her tense muscles into the warmth of the blanket. Levi was just inches away from her and while his presence usually excited her, now it was simply calming. If she wasn't careful, she'd fall asleep under the stars.

Aubrey focused on keeping her eyes open. Why was it that the one time she didn't want to sleep, her body decided it was drowsy?

Aubrey kept her gaze on the stars above her, running through the constellations and markers she'd learned as a child. Hopefully it would keep her busy enough to stay awake.

Suddenly, she had an idea. Maybe she'd found something for them to talk about after all.

"Do you know the stars?"

Levi tilted his head toward her, his eyebrows lowering.

"What is there to know? They're stars."

Aubrey chuckled and the sound rang out through the clearing. Her laugh sounded like a bell, high and light.

"I'll take that as a no, then."

Aubrey paused, hesitating before she continued.

"Would you like me to teach you?"

Levi huffed. "Well, first you have to tell me exactly what it is you're going to teach me."

Aubrey smiled at his response. At least he wasn't totally opposed.

"The stars are more than just pretty lights in the sky. They can actually be very useful tools."

Levi cocked an eyebrow at her, though he wasn't sure she saw him. Her eyes were on the sky, scanning and no doubt remembering whatever hidden information she was about to reveal.

"Tools?"

"Yes, tools. The stars are an excellent navigation instrument. I've used them many times outside the walls to recalibrate when we get pushed off course."

There was only a split second before Levi answered her.

"Go on."

Aubrey couldn't contain her grin as she lifted her hand, beginning to point out different stars and their meanings. She explained, in detail, how each star could lead someone to their destination, no compass required.

She ran through the specifics, mentioning how the stars shifted depending on the time of year, but also pointing out the one light that would always lead north, no matter the season.

Eventually, Aubrey ran out of material when it came to the practical use of the sky, and she moved on to the constellations, painting the pictures and connecting the dots before Levi's eyes.

By the time she had finished, Levi thought his head would explode. Heds found the information useful, of course, but what had really interested him was the way Aubrey's face had lit up as she spoke. He'd known she liked the stars, but he'd thought it was a passive enjoyment, not a cultivated interest.

"How do you know all of this?"

Levi instantly regretted asking. Aubrey's face turned dark and her eyes clouded over as some long buried memory resurfaced.

There was a long silence and Levi was beginning to panic. But, just as he opened his mouth to take back his words, Aubrey spoke.

"My father. My father taught me."

Levi stared at her. She'd mentioned her father before, but she'd always remembered him with that same dark, cold expression. To the average person, it may have seemed like grief, perhaps her father had died and it hurt her to remember him. But Levi could see that it was anything but grief. The glint her eyes was not one of sadness, it was pure, hard hatred.

"I see. He seems to have taught you many things. He must be a very knowledgeable man."

Levi thought back to the time when Aubrey had mentioned that her father had taught her to cook. Plus, he had his doubts about her developing her hidden fighting style on her own. If he had to guess, he'd say that her father had taught her that, too. But then there was the time when he'd confronted her about her fake name. She'd said that she didn't wish to be associated with her family. That meant she probably wasn't on good terms with her father. But if he'd taught her so much, why did she hate him so?

Aubrey scoffed and Levi could tell that her mood had turned sour.

"Yes, if my father was anything, he was knowledgeable."

Levi noticed her use of the past tense.

"Was?"

Aubrey turned her cold gaze to him and he suddenly felt the urge reach out to her. He didn't like the look in her eyes. It went against everything he knew about her. That look was unfeeling and lifeless and in the little time Levi had known her, she'd been the exact opposite.

Aubrey easily understood what he was asking her but paused before she responded. She was probably sharing too much, but she knew he would find out eventually. She wasn't quite ready to tell him everything, but surely she could tell him this.

"I say 'was' because we no longer speak and I don't intend to ever speak to him again. He is as good as dead to me." Levi watched Aubrey carefully as she scoffed and took on a bitter expression. "But, knowing him, he'll probably outlive me. That man wouldn't die even if the sky was falling."

The cold of the night air suddenly became very apparent to Aubrey and she felt the shivering set back in. Though, she wasn't entirely sure that it was only the temperature that caused her to tremble.

Levi stared at her for a second longer. He could tell just how... uncomfortable the topic of her father made her. It was like the thought of her father was some kind of parasite that leeched the life from her. When she spoke about him, Levi could see her squirming, desperately trying to break free of the thoughts or memories that refused to leave her alone.

He'd heard enough.

"Let's go back."

Levi stood, extending his hand to Aubrey.

She seemed to realize her switch in disposition and shook her head. With that movement, Levi saw the cloudiness leave her eyes and the familiar light return. He nearly breathed a sigh of relief, but he held it back.

Aubrey took his hand, lifting herself from the ground. She still felt meek and unlike herself, but she'd shaken the overbearing memories that had resurfaced. Now, she just had to ride out the side-effects.

"I'll just put this away, then."

Aubrey gripped the blanket a bit more tightly than necessary in her hands but Levi simply nodded, rooting himself to the spot where he would wait for her.

Aubrey gave him one last look before shuffling off to the cabin.

__________________________________

The walk back to the barracks was silent but peaceful. Both parties were lost in their own thoughts as their feet padded against the dirt. A lot had occurred, more than either of them could really process and so, eventually, they gave up, settling into a calm and tranquil walk through the night.

It was just what Aubrey had needed.

Thinking about her father had no doubt left her shaken but the chill of the air had cleared her head somewhat and, as they neared her door, she could finally feel herself returning to normal.

Levi stopped beside her and Aubrey glanced at him, trying to gauge his feelings. They hadn't spoken since they left the pond and she knew that he'd probably been thinking about the information she'd told him. He'd looked at her so intensely when she'd spoken about her father, like he was trying to look right into her mind.

"Thank you for walking with me again. Your company is greatly appreciated."

Aubrey tried to keep her voice light and was surprised when it actually sounded genuine. Levi must have fallen for it too, because she saw his shoulder relax just the tiniest bit and felt the atmosphere shift.

Levi simply nodded, not sure what to say.

Aubrey felt the pause in their conversation and quickly filled the gap.

"Well, come back tomorrow and I can teach you some more about the stars. I'm pretty sure that my crash course won't stick in your brain for very long. Next time, I'll take it a bit slower."

Aubrey added a wink at the end of her speech and Levi glowered at her.

"I can keep up just fine, thank you."

Aubrey rolled her eyes.

"Alright, soldier. Whatever you say."

There was another pause and Aubrey finally felt the aching realization that it was time to say goodbye.

With a grief that she was coming to associate only with Levi, Aubrey spoke.

"Goodnight, Levi."

"Goodnight, Aubrey."

Then, before she could say anything more, he was walking away, his form getting smaller and smaller as she watched him go. But, if she squinted hard enough, she could swear she saw his hand balled up so tightly that the skin was stretched white across his knuckles.

It wasn't until he was completely out of sight that Aubrey realized she'd been doing the exact same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I'm back with another chapter and it's another long one! Yay! I think there will be one or two more chapters after this and then we'll be moving on to the expedition! I feel like I've probably said that three times already but I PROMISE that this time it's for real. We're almost there!
> 
> Anyway, lots of background hints in this chapter! Yes, (Y/N) has daddy issues... but we'll get into that later. Just wait a little while longer and everything will make sense. But, for right now, I'm curious if anyone has any guesses about (Y/N)'s background? It just makes me happy to read about what you guys are thinking as you read. So, leave a comment if you have ideas!
> 
> Also, I wanted to ask another question regarding the ENTIRE story. Do you feel like (Y/N) and Levi's relationship was developed realistically? I really wanted to focus on making a real connection between the two characters before they fell in love and, since we are now nearing the end of the "falling in love" phase, I was wondering what you all thought? Was there anything that I wrote that you thought was too much? Was there something I didn't write that you wish I would have? - If that's the case, leave a comment and I might add it in later in the story :) –
> 
> So, let me know what you thought of this chapter! I felt like this one turned out pretty well and I'm happy that I'm going to get to move on to the next "phase" soon.
> 
> If you've made it this far into the story and you've read the author's notes, then you KNOW how I feel about comments. Leave one or die. Okay, thanks. I love you. Bye.


	27. Chapter 27

Aubrey slowly opened her eyes to see the paneled ceiling of her room. Sunlight was already coming through the window and she could see the dust floating in the air. Right now, the sight of it was calming and peaceful but there was no doubt in her mind that when Levi arrived, it would suddenly be considered the vermin of the earth and he would force her to scrub and clean until not a single speck of anything could be found.

It was Sunday.

The days had flown by in a flurry of activity. The expedition was growing ever nearer and everyone was made to work from dawn till dusk, with Sundays being the only exception.

Aubrey was absolutely exhausted, not only from her intensive training sessions but also from her late night walks with Levi.

Each night, he'd shown up at her door and, each night, Aubrey had continued to teach him about the stars. She was surprised by the rate at which he had picked up the skill. Even though it had only been a few days, Levi understood the basics and could probably find his way out of a desperate situation if he needed to. He was very perceptive, though he never showed it off.

But, even with his fast learning, it would still be months before Aubrey would label him a true master. After that, he would be almost as skilled as her.

Almost.

Aubrey smiled to herself as she sat up, shaking the sleep from her eyes. Her nightmares hadn't been nearly as bad the past few days and she'd long ago found out the reason why. The more time she spent with Levi, the less intense her dreams were. The edges were blurred and there was a haze over the whole image. Most of the time, Aubrey was able to recognize that she was dreaming, which made the pain of rewatching her friends' deaths just slightly more bearable.

Aubrey ran her fingers through her hair as he stood. She'd woken early enough that she'd probably have enough time to get ready and straighten things out a bit before Levi showed up. But, knowing him, he'd probably show up earlier than the nine o'clock start time they'd decided on.

With a groan, Aubrey stood and readied herself for his arrival, running to the bathroom to wash up and then back to her room to put on the set of casual clothing that she'd washed the night before. She was still putting off doing the whole load, though she was fairly sure that Levi would force her to do it at some point during the day. Her dirty pile was definitely the most noticeable mess in her room.

After taking a glance in the mirror to make sure she looked at least half put together, Aubrey moved on to sorting out what she could. But not before she let her hair fall down and out of its usual ponytail. She always kept it up for training and she'd fallen into the habit of wearing it the same way on the weekends. But, it was her day off and there was no reason she shouldn't wear it down. Maybe Levi would like it.

Aubrey got to work with the basics of cleaning, starting by stripping her bed. But, she hadn't gotten more than the first sheet off before she heard a knock.

At first, she felt an overwhelming sense of panic. She'd expected Levi to be a bit early but it was only seven thirty! He was an hour and a half early!

However, Aubrey's panic soon shifted to curiosity and confusion as she realized that the knock hadn't come from the back door. Instead it had come from her front door, the door that connected her to the rest of the barracks. There was no way it was Levi; no man would ever be let into the women's living quarters.

Aubrey slowly made her way to the door, feeling a bit cautious. She had no idea who would be calling on her on a Sunday.

Finally, she cracked open the door before fully pulling it back and open.

"Isabel?"

Aubrey felt a wave of realization rush over her as she remembered the promise she'd made her friend. Their walk to the Mess Hall seemed like it had happened ages ago.

"Can I come in?"

Aubrey's shock started to wear off and a teasing smile came to her face.

"Sure. Are you lonely?"

Isabel waved a hand, walked past Aubrey, and went straight into her room without a second glance.

"Pfft. More like bored-"

Isabel's jaw dropped to the floor and Aubrey could have sworn that her eyes popped out of her skull a bit.

"Is this... you... how do you... has..."

Aubrey raised an eyebrow. She pretty much knew what Isabel was blabbering about but she wanted to hear it straight from her lips.

"Yes?"

Isabel turned to look at her, her eyes the size of dinner plates.

"This is your room?!"

Aubrey nodded and chuckled. Apparently, Levi's cleanliness had rubbed off on Isabel.

"Yes, who else's room would it be?"

Isabel whirled around, attempting to take in all of the clutter that made up Aubrey's room.

"Has Big Bro seen this?"

Aubrey sighed and made her way to the desk in the corner. After moving a few piles of dusty books and pushing some trash out of the way, she was able to pull out the chair and set it next to the bed.

With a wave of a hand, she gestured for Isabel to sit. After trying to hide her disgusted expression and wiping away the leftover dust, Isabel followed her direction and sat down.

Aubrey took a seat on the edge of her bed and let out a huff as the mattress creaked beneath her.

"Yes, he's seen it and he insisted on coming over today to teach me how to properly clean it."

Isabel sputtered and Aubrey watched as the girl's face drained of color.

"He's coming over here?!"

Aubrey shrank back. She hadn't been expecting Isabel to react so loudly to the news.

"Yes... is there something wrong with that?"

Isabel slumped over, her head hanging toward the floor.

Aubrey waited, hoping that she hadn't broken her friend.

Finally, Isabel murmured something so quietly that Aubrey almost didn't hear.

"He didn't say anything about making Furlan and I help, did he?"

Aubrey shook her head and had to fight hard to suppress a laugh.

"Is that what you're worried about?"

Isabel glanced up at her, surprised by Aubrey's lightheartedness. She obviously didn't know what a day of cleaning with Levi was like.

Aubrey crossed her legs and leaned back.

"No, he didn't say anything about you two. I'm pretty sure it's just going to be us. And, if you're that worried about it, I'll make sure he doesn't rope you into it."

Isabel shook her head, her eyebrows furrowing in what looked like confusion.

"Does he really listen to you?"

The question caught Aubrey off guard and she paused for a second, thinking back.

After a moment, though, she was back in the present and a small chuckle escaped her lips.

"I wouldn't say that he listens to me. It's more like he begrudgingly accepts my begging."

Isabel's lips twitched into a mischievous smile.

"You beg him?"

Aubrey did her best to hold back the blush that threatened to rise to her cheeks, though she was pretty sure that she failed miserably.

"Well... I... I annoy him, that's for sure. He's easy to persuade if you bug him enough."

Aubrey's cheeks burned even brighter when she heard a huff of air come from Isabel.

"Well, he never does what I ask, not even when I beg for hours."

Aubrey suddenly saw an opportunity to reflect the embarrassment off of herself and onto her friend.

"And what, exactly, made you 'beg for hours'?"

Isabel glanced away, but to Aubrey's surprise, it didn't seem to be out of embarrassment. Instead, Isabel's eyes turned to the ceiling and a fond expression covered her features as a memory resurfaced.

"When we were back in the Undergr-er-I mean our hometown..."

Isabel paused, sneaking a look at Aubrey to see if she'd put together what she'd almost revealed. Little did Isabel know that Aubrey already knew all about their life in the Underground. But, to keep things simpler, Aubrey feigned confusion and let the moment pass. It would be easier for Isabel if she thought that Aubrey was clueless when it came to her past life.

Hesitantly, Isabel restarted her story.

"Back in our hometown, we would go to the market every Thursday. Ya know, for supplies and food and stuff."

Aubrey nodded, prompting Isabel to continue.

"And there was a jewelry vendor there. She actually had some pretty nice stuff, which was surprising considering that the market was usually riddled with thugs. Who knows how that stuff didn't get stolen."

Aubrey hummed in acknowledgement. She could imagine that any market in the Underground was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Anyway, there was a necklace that I really wanted. I knew it was too expensive but I tried to get Levi to buy it for me anyway."

Aubrey smiled. She could see where this was going.

"He said no, of course. I begged him for hours, long after we'd left the market. He was definitely annoyed. He told me to shut up every time I asked."

Aubrey nodded. That sounded accurate.

"After that, every time we went to the market, I would beg him and every time he would tell me to put a sock in it and quit."

Isabel paused, turning to look at Aubrey with a smirk.

"I didn't."

Aubrey snorted and shook her head. Of course Isabel wouldn't give up. She wasn't the type.

"But, one day, when I was just about to pass out on my bed, Levi came in and just plopped the necklace on my pillow. He mumbled something about leaving him alone and then... he just left."

Aubrey raised her eyebrows. "He left?"

Isabel nodded as what Aubrey could only describe as a look of pure love and admiration crossed the girl's face.

Aubrey smiled. She was happy that the three of them had formed some kind of family even in the depths of the Underground.

"And do you still have the necklace?"

Isabel perked up and her hands reached for her neck, pulling on a chain that Aubrey had always failed to notice. Apparently, Isabel had kept the pendant hidden behind her shirt.

But, as the necklace was finally revealed to Aubrey, she felt her eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

It was a beautifully crafted piece of jewelry and Aubrey was amazed that such a thing could ever have existed in the Underground. A golden crescent moon was the centerpiece of the pendant, its outer edges encrusted with small diamonds. The piece shined and glittered so brightly that Aubrey thought it would blind her. But the moon had a partner. Dangling in the curve of the crescent was another diamond, except this one was big enough to have served as the stone of a wedding ring. It was masterfully cut and polished and it's clarity was astounding.

"Oh my god, Isabel!"

Aubrey's hand reached out to touch the jewel but she stopped short. She was almost too afraid to get close to it. It felt like the slightest touch would shatter its delicacy.

"I know!"

Aubrey stared open mouthed at the necklace.

"How... how could Levi afford this?"

Isabel's eyes turned downwards. Her expression softened and Aubrey could see a far away look in her eyes.

"I wondered the same thing. When I first asked him to buy it for me, I knew the price was way out of range for us. We had enough money to live comfortably but we weren't rich by any means. And this necklace... well, it was definitely a luxury item."

Aubrey waited, anxious for her to continue.

"Big Bro must have saved up every extra penny he had in order to buy this for me. He probably didn't get anything for himself for months."

Aubrey could see the tears hidden in Isabel's eyes. In fact, Aubrey almost felt like crying herself.

Gently, Aubrey leaned forward to place a hand on Isabel's shoulder.

"He must love you very much, Isabel."

Isabel nodded, trying to control the tightness in her throat.

"Yeah, he does."

Aubrey could feel the heaviness in the air and she quickly decided that it wouldn't do. Days off should be fun and exciting, they had enough seriousness and gloom during work hours.

"But, it seems to me that your story is proving the opposite of your original point, Isabel. Begging did work for you."

Isabel scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Only after I was at it for months! You just ask and immediately receive!"

Aubrey shook her head. "Whatever. Your story still didn't work."

Isabel scrunched her face up and stuck out her tongue.

Aubrey laughed and heard the sound echo around the room.

When she was finally done giggling, Aubrey instantly noticed the change in the atmosphere. Isabel's expression had turned serious and her eyes were boring into Aubrey's head.

Aubrey had seen that look too many times before. Isabel was going to ask a question... and it was probably going to be a question that she didn't want to answer.

"Aubrey?"

Aubrey tried to stay calm. She could guess what Isabel was going to address. She was surprised she hadn't mentioned it when she first walked in the room.

"Why is your room split in half?"

Aubrey gulped. She didn't want to give up the answer to this question. Not to Isabel, not to anybody... not even Levi... yet.

"I'll tell you someday. For now, just know that I keep to my space and that it's very important to me that the other side remain undisturbed."

Aubrey could see the curiosity that burned behind Isabel's eyes but she was grateful that the girl kept her mouth shut.

A small silence filled the air as the two of them adjusted to their conversation. The air had turned tense and Aubrey wasn't having it.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Aubrey arched an eyebrow and leaned back.

"Well, tell me some more stories about your appalling begging abilities."

Isabel instantly perked up, a barely restrained smile coming to her face and an eye roll following not long after.

"Oh, shut up!"

The two of them carried on that way, sharing stories and giggling in the morning light. Aubrey was having so much fun that she forgot to keep an eye on the clock.

She was only reminded of the time when the second knock of the day came from the back door.

Aubrey shot up, panic pulsing through her veins with every passing beat.

"Isabel! You have to go! He's here!" Aubrey whispered with an unsettled urgency. She couldn't believe that she'd been so inattentive.

"Shoot!"

Isabel was on her feet in a second, grabbing the jacket that was folded across the back of her chair.

"Remember, you promised to stop him if he tries to make me clean."

Isabel stopped the door just as Aubrey had been about to shut her out.

"Okay, whatever! Just go!"

Isabel flashed a bright smile and then her features turned to her all-too-familiar mischievous look.

"Alright, thanks. Have fun on your date!"

With that Isabel let the door slam shut and Aubrey was left alone to deal with the burning in her face. She had to calm down or Levi would notice. He was too perceptive for his own good.

Aubrey slapped her cheeks and shook her head, trying desperately to forget what Isabel had just said. That girl was going to get it later.

Aubrey tried to steady her hand as it wrapped around the door handle. She was nervous. She was actually nervous. Why?

She'd spent countless hours with Levi, so why was this one, entirely ordinary cleaning day getting to her?

Aubrey turned the knob and flung open the door, tingles running up and down her spine at the sight of Levi before her. He was as stunning as ever.

"Hi." Aubrey's greeting was a shuddering mess and she cringed internally. There was no doubt that Levi would be able to sense her unexplainable jitters.

"May I come in?"

Aubrey inhaled sharply but stepped back, swinging the door open wider so that Levi could pass through.

"Oh, yes, of course."

With a stride too graceful to be real, Levi strode into the room and Aubrey held her breath as his eyes scanned the space.

She could clearly see the disgust on his face but he said nothing. Maybe he'd gotten sick of telling her how horrifically messy she was.

Aubrey waited, feeling the tension in her shoulders grow nearly unbearable as the silence grew. She was sure that he could see the line down the middle of the room, the dust that covered the entirety of the right side. But, he didn't comment.

Finally, he spoke, and Aubrey released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"I need water and soap. I assume I shouldn't go strolling the halls of the girls' dormitory."

Aubrey stepped forward, her hand letting go of the door she'd been gripping as it loudly shut behind her.

"O-Oh, you're probably right. I'll go get it."

Aubrey crossed the room, her heart nearly stopping as she passed Levi. Why was she so nervous?

Aubrey took a deep breath as she reached the other side of her bedroom. With as much normalcy and calmness as she could muster, she cracked open the door but stopped short. There was still something that she had to address... something she was very surprised that Levi hadn't mentioned the second he walked in.

"Um... Levi?"

"Hmm?"

Aubrey turned to see him scanning the space, his eyes scrutinizing the very detail she was worried about.

"We.. um... we can only clean the left side of the room, okay? The side that I sleep on."

Levi turned to her, his expression growing dark and thoughtful simultaneously.

"Are you going to tell me why?"

Aubrey shot him a small smile.

"Someday. But not today."

With that, Aubrey stepped out and headed to get the supplies she needed. All the while, she was too afraid to think of what awaited her when she returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO. I AM BACK. I AM NOT DEAD.
> 
> I know that this chapter is SUPER late and that it's been almost a month since I last posted but I'm trying, okay? I've been super busy lately... I work six days a week and my days off are usually filled with running errands. BUT, I have not given up on this story, ESPECIALLY since we are almost to the good part. There's one more chapter to go before we get to the expedition which is the part of this story that I originally envisioned when I first came up with the idea for this fic.
> 
> Anyway, I can't make any promises about when the next chapter will be up but I CAN tell you that I have not given up on writing. THIS FIC WILL BE FINISHED EVEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO.
> 
> Leave some comments to motivate me so that I find the will to write after I get home from work at night. Y'all are great cheerleaders :)
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY. I LOVE YOU. BYE.


	28. Chapter 28

The day was long. Levi was just as thorough and incessant as Aubrey had expected him to be and he didn't let up until every speck of dirt and dust had been cleansed from the left side of the room.

And, to Aubrey's relief and surprise, he hadn't questioned her about why one whole half of the space was off limits. Instead, he had avoided the topic completely, though Aubrey had caught him staring at the empty bed a few times. But... she could live with that. His willingness to respect her request was more than enough to make Aubrey happy.

After just an hour of cleaning, Aubrey had been sure that they had finished and that there wasn't another surface they could scrub. Little had she known that Levi was going to do more than just a surface clean. He made her pull out every item in her dresser, scrub the cabinets clean three times and then go through all of the items to decide which ones she still needed. Luckily, Aubrey had never been very materialistic, so she didn't have too much to discard.

Nevertheless, the work was still grueling. Aubrey might not have had many items that she actually cared about, but she definitely had plenty of trash. Her room was riddled with junk and going through every pile was irritating.

Finally, when she'd finished that, Levi had forced her to handle the massive dirty pile and she'd spent at least an hour in the laundry room scrubbing every piece of clothing she owned. By the time she'd finished, her arms hurt and her fingers ached, but Levi had forced her to continue with their endless cleansing.

Finally, around dinner time, Levi had stood from his crouch where he'd been finishing his scrubbing of the floorboards.

"We're done."

At the sound of the words, Aubrey had nearly collapsed with relief. She'd never imagined that cleaning could be such a physically demanding job. She was positive that today's events would leave her sorer than most of her training sessions.

"Finally. Thank God." Aubrey slumped over, leaning against the wall for support.

Levi scoffed. "You're ridiculous."

Aubrey whipped around to face him and she flinched as every muscle in her body protested. Despite her pain, she answered him with all the force she could muster.

"I'm ridiculous? You're the one that somehow takes an entire day to clean one half of a room!"

Levi crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at her.

"Well, at least I have a realistic concept of clean. I really don't understand how you could live in such a disgusting and filthy room without catching some kind of disease."

Aubrey scrunched her face in irritation. "That's mean."

"It's not mean if it's true."

Aubrey turned away from him, busying herself with locating her boots. "Well, I can assure you that I do not have any kind of disease, thank you."

For a moment, there was no response and then just a whisper broke the silence, barely loud enough for Aubrey to be sure that she'd actually heard it.

"No... you certainly don't."

Aubrey felt herself freeze for a fraction of a second as she finished tying her laces.

It took her just a short moment to return her attention to her feet but her hands were shaking slightly along with the electricity that seemed to be running through her entire body.

Aubrey knew that Levi could very well have just been replying to her snarky comment and yet... she didn't feel like that was the case.

Sparks seemed to invisibly flicker in the air until Aubrey finally finished with her laces, standing up to see that Levi had somehow slipped his own boots on without her noticing. Apparently his hands hadn't fumbled around as much as hers and he'd completed his task more quickly.

"Well, um, let's go." Aubrey tried to put on a genuine smile but she could tell that it looked forced and awkward.

"And where exactly are we going?" Levi raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest.

Aubrey cleared her throat, still feeling dazed. "Well, um, I don't know about you, but I was planning on going to dinner."

Aubrey expected Levi to nod in agreement but instead she was surprised when he offered a different course of action.

"Could you get by on a ration bar tonight?"

Aubrey felt her face scrunch in confusion. "Yeah, I guess so. Do you have different plans?"

Levi let his hands drop into his pockets and Aubrey gulped. She could never look away when he stood like that. He just looked so... beautiful.

"The idea of going to that horrendously loud Mess Hall right now disgusts me. You have ration bars at the pond, right?"

Aubrey couldn't help the smile that came to her lips. If it meant spending more time alone with Levi, she didn't mind missing dinner at all.

"Yeah, I do, but I can't believe that you're willingly going to eat one."

Levi scoffed and turned his head.

"Shut up. Let's go already."

Aubrey giggled but followed Levi's order. If Levi was willing to eat a ration bar, so was she.

Aubrey made her way to the door and stepped out, Levi following closely behind her and shutting the door firmly.

Silently, the two started along the all-too-familiar path that would lead them to the pond.

Aubrey tried to hide her gaze as she stared at Levi out of the corner of her eye. The moonlight was just bright enough for her to make out Levi's features and she couldn't help but notice the way that his clothing was clinging to his muscles. It was almost too much to handle.

But as subtle as Aubrey was trying to be, her gaze didn't go unnoticed. Levi was watching her just as intently as she was watching him. She looked even more dazzling in the moonlight than she did during the day. The way that the shadows carved out her features made her look almost inhuman, like she was too perfect to be real.

By the time the pond came into view, Levi could feel a tension in the air so strong that he could practically feel his hand being pulled from his pocket and into Aubrey's palm. It took every ounce of strength he had to continue putting one foot in front of the other.

Finally, the pressure was broken when Aubrey spoke up.

"Okay, ration bars and blankets, right?"

Levi nodded, still feeling a bit too clouded to speak.

Aubrey smiled and Levi watched as she scampered away, her footsteps so quiet he could barely hear them. He stared after her for a moment, wondering how a person could make such little noise but he brushed it off. Somehow, it just seemed like something Aubrey would know how to do.

Not really knowing how to occupy himself, Levi made his way over to the peninsula and waited. He didn't dare to sit down on the grass, but he did take some time to inspect the water. It was so incredibly clear that he could hardly believe it was real. He'd always expected that life on the surface would be beautiful but even in his wildest dreams he'd never imagined a sight like this.

After a few moments of getting lost in the endless swirls of the water, Levi was shaken from his concentration.

"Pretty, huh?"

Levi nearly jumped and he whirled around so quickly Aubrey was almost sure that he'd given himself whiplash. He hadn't heard Aubrey approach. Not even a snap of a twig.

"Where did you learn to be so quiet?"

Levi regretted asking as soon as the words had left his lips.

Aubrey's expression turned from light to dark in a fraction of a second and Levi could see her eyes glaze over as she returned to that distant place that always brought her down.

Aubrey sighed. "My father taught me."

Levi froze for a moment, not knowing what to say or how to undo the obvious damage he had done.

"I suppose I should just start assuming your father taught you, hm?"

Aubrey glanced up, trying to force her expression into a smile but knowing she was failing miserably.

"Yes, that would probably be accurate enough. There's not much that I know that he didn't teach me."

Levi nodded but the air went cold and silent once again. He'd ruined the mood and he knew it.

After a few unbearable seconds of seeing Aubrey upset, Levi said the only thing he could think of.

"Don't think about him."

Levi internally flinched. That was not the best advice he'd ever given. In fact, it had probably done more harm than good.

Aubrey raised her eyes to meet Levi's gaze and forced herself to hold his gaze. A sad smile graced her features. "That's much easier said than done, you know."

Levi sighed. He'd never been very good at this sort of thing. Emotional support had never been a central aspect of his existence and it was times like this, when he so desperately wanted to help, that his shortcoming bothered him the most.

He would just have to do his best.

Slowly, Levi walked forward, approaching Aubrey quietly and calmly. He paused less than a foot from her and gingerly raised a hand, taking the blanket that she was holding. Aubrey didn't put up any fight as he gently took it from her hands and wrapped it around her shoulders. Her false smile had dropped some time ago and now she simply stared at Levi's face as his hands moved swiftly to cover her with the blanket.

"Sit."

Aubrey nearly giggled. Even when he was trying to be sweet it seemed that he still struggled with his words.

Nevertheless, Aubrey obeyed and she sank to the ground. She was a bit stunned when Levi sank with her and actually placed himself on the grass without so much as a blanket between himself and the dirt. By the look on his face Aubrey guessed that he was feeling rather uncomfortable at the thought but that only made his actions even more meaningful. He was willing to put himself through an obviously irritating situation just to make her feel better. The thought brought a real smile to Aubrey's lips.

Levi felt his heart skip when he saw Aubrey's lips twitch upwards. Apparently, despite his shortcomings, he was actually managing to make her feel better.

For what seemed like a very long time, the two of them sat there in silence, staring at each other with an intensity that would likely have scared off anyone else.

Aubrey's thoughts continued to swirl but they quieted with time. Levi's presence was enough to compress what would have been a whole night of overthinking into just a few minutes. She could so easily forget about her past when she was around him. Around him, all she could think about was the future.

The minutes passed quietly until Aubrey felt the cold air nipping at her cheeks. It was in that moment that she realized that she'd been entirely selfish.

"Are you cold?"

Levi's concentration flickered at the question and it took him a second before he could reply.

"Tch. No."

Aubrey raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

Levi scoffed. "You're the one who got the blanket, not me."

Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Well the blanket is meant for both of us. Plus, I still have an astronomy lesson to go over so you're going to need it sooner or later. Scoot over."

Levi didn't do much moving but Aubrey easily maneuvered into the spot next to him, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders before he could object.  
"Okay, time to lay down."

Before he could prepare himself, Aubrey was pulling Levi down to the ground with a considerable amount of force. Even if he'd wanted to resist, he wouldn't have stood a chance.

Aubrey couldn't help but giggle at the look on his face as his back touched the dirt. It never failed to amuse her that Levi despised dirt so much. It still didn't seem to match his persona.

"Brat." Levi didn't try to get up, but he definitely wasn't pleased.

Aubrey stuck her tongue out. "Whatever, we're starting our lesson. Find me Polaris."

Levi sighed, giving in. He was just happy that Aubrey seemed to have recovered from her earlier lapse in happiness. It was unnerving to see her upset when she was so consistently upbeat.

Levi did as he was asked, reaching a hand to the sky and pointing out the star the Aubrey had forced him to find every night since their "lessons" had begun.

Aubrey smiled, quizzing him again and again about stars and constellations that they had previously discussed until they were deep into the night and the ration bars she'd grabbed were long gone.

Finally, when she'd barely been able to keep her eyes open, Levi insisted that they walk back and Aubrey hadn't objected. Levi had put away the blanket himself and then they'd made their way back through the woods to their respective rooms.

When Levi left her at her door Aubrey knew that she would sleep well. Her mind was calm and peaceful with no thoughts of the past or the father she wished she could forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who is NOT dead! Me! I am back and I will (hopefully) be finishing up this story in the next few weeks. Thank you to everyone who is still reading this story even though it's been neglected for so long. My only excuse is that this semester kind of kicked my butt and I lowkey wasn't expecting it lol. Anyway, I'm back now and with any luck (this section) of the story will be finishing up very quickly! We're at the good part y'all! Get HYPED.


	29. Chapter 29

The next days and weeks passed in a flurry of activity. The expedition would be commencing in less than 24 hours and everyone was on edge. Soldiers ran from one end of the castle to the other relaying messaging and orders to various different people and Captains. Aubrey hadn't spent more than a few minutes alone with Erwin for the last week and was beginning to feel the lack of his presence. She'd resolved to lock herself in his office that night and turn away any soldier that came knocking for at least one hour. Expedition or not, she was going to enjoy a cup of tea with her friend. After all, there was a decent chance one or both of them would die tomorrow.

As for Levi... well, Aubrey hadn't had any lack of company from him. They'd quite literally spent every night together at the pond. By now, Levi was proficient in navigation via the stars and Aubrey was very pleased with his progress. As she'd predicted from his initial talent, it hadn't taken Levi very long to catch on and truly grasp the depth of what Aubrey was teaching him. He was beginning to realize that there really was a whole world beyond the walls and that the stars could lead him anywhere he wanted to go.

It was those endless nights at the pond that had managed to get Aubrey through the last month. With the expedition growing closer with each passing second, Aubrey had grown increasingly worried about her new friends. That time at the pond was time that she could simply enjoy the present moment and try to forget about the dangers that surrounded them on all sides.

And surprisingly, despite the two of them spending every night together, Levi and Aubrey had managed to maintain their boundaries. Well, at least their semblance of boundaries. There was probably still a bit too much staring into each other's eyes and mysterious touching for their relationship to be considered completely platonic but no major lines had been crossed.

And that platonic relationship was beginning to be a serious issue for Aubrey. No matter how scared she was of letting yet another person inside her walls, it was becoming increasingly painful to keep Levi outside her walls. Every moment she spent with him had become a combined moment of bliss and torture. There was so much that he needed to know about, that she was so close to being able to tell him. They just had to get through this mission.

Not only had Aubrey promised Erwin that she would wait to advance her relationship with Levi until after the expedition but Aubrey also needed some reassurance for herself. She needed to see that Levi could survive. She couldn't bear to let him in before she had any sense of his ability to stay alive. But her resolve was weakening with every passing minute. As the threat of death grew closer, promises and boundaries were becoming less and less appealing.

Levi, on the other hand, was grappling with an entirely different situation. He'd let himself fall for Aubrey just a little too much and he knew that there was no way he could simply leave her now. However, that need didn't exactly line up with his current mission. Levi seriously doubted that Aubrey would ever leave the Scouts just to follow him. Plus, the fact that his mission directly related to Erwin didn't help. If Aubrey found out his true intentions she would no doubt be upset, making his chances of convincing her to join him even slimmer. He was in trouble.

Both of them had found themselves between a rock and a hard place with neither really knowing how to move forward. The only thing that would solve their dilemmas was time, something that Aubrey felt she was running particularly low on.

Aubrey paced through the halls of the castle, a tray of tea in her hands that was extremely close to spilling. Unlike most nights, she was feeling impatient and her steps were falling rather unevenly.

She was on her way to Erwin's office. She knew that when she got there she'd have to be stern in order to get Erwin to relax for more than a few seconds. Soldiers would no doubt be walking in and out of his office with questions and reports. If Aubrey was going to get any time with him at all, she'd have to pull out all of her tricks. She wasn't too worried, though. She'd never met a person that her tricks hadn't worked on.

Finally, Aubrey rounded the corner and Erwin's office came into view. As expected, there was a soldier entering at that exact moment. Aubrey scowled. She was not in the mood for polite dismissals. Every second she spent getting that soldier to leave was a second she was missing with Erwin.

Aubrey quickly rounded into Erwin's office, not flinching when the conversation between the soldier and the Commander halted. Aubrey now recognized the soldier as Albert Felder from Captain Krist's squad. Aubrey hadn't talked to him more than a few times but he'd always seemed pleasant. Unfortunately for him, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Aubrey set her tray of tea on the table and quickly turned to face her company.

"Oh, Albert, I heard that Captain Krist is looking for you. Something about last minute formation changes?"

Aubrey watched as Albert's face drained of color and he quickly turned to Erwin.

"Forgive me Commander, I guess I'll have to get going now. Everything you need to know should be in the report."

Erwin nodded. "No problem. Go get some rest, Felder. Don't let Krist keep you too long."

Albert nodded quickly, saluted, and eagerly left the room.

As soon as he was out the door, Aubrey approached Erwin's desk, picking up a piece of paper that had been cast to the side and seemed rather unimportant.

"Do you need this?"

Erwin raised an eyebrow but answered nonetheless. "Not really, no."

Aubrey smiled. "Great."

She flipped the paper over to its blank side and grabbed the quil right out of Erwin's hand. Without hesitation Aubrey wrote 'Do Not Disturb. Classified Meeting in Progress'.

Aubrey flipped the page back over and grabbed the candle at the edge of the desk, pouring a bit of the hot wax onto the sheet. Carefully, she walked across the office to the heavy wooden door and stuck the paper to its outside, holding it there until the wax hardened enough for it to stick.

Aubrey stepped back to admire her work for a second before she walked back into the room, locking the door behind her.

Erwin's eyebrow was still raised but now his face was taking on a bit of a suspicious expression.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?"

Aubrey sank down onto the couch and smirked.

"Getting us an hour all to ourselves."

Erwin sighed, his fears having been confirmed.

"You know that won't be possible, Aubrey. The expedition is tomorrow and soldiers are still coming in with squad reports. You sent poor Felder on a wild goose chase. Krist won't be happy when he gets a panicked soldier at his door."

Aubrey rolled her eyes and waved him off.

"He'll be fine. Worst case scenario he gets a light scolding."

Erwin exhaled deeply. Seeing Aubrey would be nice but he simply didn't have the time. The pile of reports on his desk was getting higher every hour and he was already behind.

"I really can't talk tonight, Aubrey. I have enough work to last me till morning."

Aubrey smirked again.

"Well, that might be something I can help with. I happen to have tea and a set of hands that are quite adept at doing a certain Commander's paperwork. All I ask in return is an hour of conversation."

Erwin stared Aubrey down, his mind skimming over and considering his options. An hour of help from Aubrey would be a humongous help. She was unnaturally fast and efficient with the work and he figured that with her help he might actually be able to go to bed at a decent time. But if his door remained closed there would no doubt be extra reports that would come flooding in at the last moment and there could even be an urgent matter that a Captain needed to discuss.

As if she could read his mind, Aubrey rebutted his objections before he could even speak them aloud.

"Look, Erwin. Any reports coming in will just get slid under the door and if a Captain really needs to discuss something with you they'll be willing to wait until your 'meeting' is over."

Aubrey crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for a response.

After a moment more Erwin acquiesced, nodding his agreement.

Aubrey grinned so widely that she was sure she looked insane. It barely took a second before she started pouring the tea and making her way over to Erwin's desk. She pulled a chair up to the edge so that she could easily discuss with Erwin if she had any questions. She doubted she would.

Aubrey rummaged around in a drawer until she found an extra quil and she got to work. She picked up the nearest piece of paperwork and began to scribble away, easily understanding what needed to be done.

"Is there anything specific that you wanted to discuss tonight?" Erwin also picked up a piece of paper but he kept his eyes on Aubrey as he waited for her response.

Aubrey shook her head. "No, not really. I just... missed you."

Erwin couldn't help the smile that came to his lips. He'd missed her too. The last few days had left them with little time to talk.

But as soon as the smile had come, it was gone as Erwin realized that there was something he needed to discuss with her.

Erwin cleared his throat. "There's actually something I've been wanting to discuss with you."

Aubrey paused, looking up from her work expectantly. Whatever Erwin had to say, it was probably important. He very rarely had something specific to tell her. Usually, their conversations flowed naturally.

"Go on." Aubrey nodded encouragingly.

Erwin looked down at his paper, his hand hovering over a line. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

"I need to ask you about your relationship with Mr. Ackerman."

Aubrey found herself caught off guard. She averted her gaze back to the paper in her hands and was aware that her discomfort was fairly obvious. But she wasn't about to refuse Erwin.

"Ask away."

Erwin examined her for a few seconds, noting how rare it was that she ever looked uncomfortable. Levi must be a very sensitive topic if just the mention of him was enough to make her nervous.

"How is he doing?"

Aubrey raised an eyebrow. He wanted to know how Levi was doing?

"Um, he's... fine, I guess. He's doing as well as can be expected I suppose."

Erwin nodded, not waiting too long before asking his next question.

"And how is he feeling about the expedition?"

Aubrey felt her brow furrow. She wasn't exactly sure how to answer. Levi wasn't really one to talk about his feelings.

"I think he's confident but nervous, as he should be."

"Nervous about what?"

Aubrey looked at Erwin with a puzzled expression.

"Titans, I would assume. What else would he have to be nervous about?"

Erwin remained silent.

Aubrey sighed. "Erwin, are you ever going to tell me what's going on between you two or not?"

It was Erwin's turn to sigh.

"I don't think that would be a very good idea. Just know that no matter what happens tomorrow, you should support him. I brought him here for a reason and tomorrow will be a deciding factor in his future. Based on what I've witnessed between you two, I think that you could play a crucial role in the path he chooses."

Aubrey stared blankly at him. "What the hell does that mean?"

Erwin rubbed his temples in frustration. He was aware that what he was saying probably didn't make any sense. He just couldn't think of a way to get Aubrey to understand without compromising his plan. Levi would be a great asset to the Scouts if only Erwin could get him to participate willingly. As Erwin had determined long ago, Aubrey could serve as a very effective common ground between himself and Levi. He was hoping that when the time came for Levi to carry out his 'mission' he would have to consider Aubrey. Hopefully, when he saw her trust in her comrades, her faith in her Commander, Levi would have a change of heart. But if Erwin were to tell Aubrey about his planned manipulation, she would no doubt object. She was fiercely protective of those she loved and if Erwin was correct, he was fairly sure that Aubrey loved Levi. She would refuse to participate and would most likely not be the loyal and faithful soldier that he needed her to be tomorrow. She'd probably be mad at both of them.

Erwin shook his head. "I'm sorry, Aubrey, but I can't explain it to you now. After tomorrow, I'm sure things will become clear. For now, I need you to trust me."

Aubrey paused. She still didn't understand what was going on but how could she refuse Erwin's request for trust? She had complete faith in him and his decisions. If he needed her to be in the dark for a day longer, he no doubt had good reasoning. As difficult as it was, she would have to give in and trust that her loyalty to Erwin was enough.

Aubrey let out a long breath and leaned back in her chair.

"You're sure you can't tell me?"

Erwin shook his head.

Aubrey shrugged and returned to her paperwork.

"Worth a shot."

Erwin smiled, knowing that he'd gotten Aubrey to trust him. Somehow, though, he wasn't all that surprised. It was very rarely, if ever, that Aubrey denied him a request. Her all-consuming faith in him was encouraging but also terrifying. She trusted him more than he trusted himself.

"Thank you, Aubrey."

Aubrey rolled her shoulders as she leaned over her work.

"There's no need to thank me, Erwin. I'll always trust you. If you ask for my faith, you've got it."

Erwin raised an eyebrow. "That could be very dangerous for you. Be careful about who you count on."

Aubrey raised her eyes to meet his and the intensity in them was so strong that Erwin almost felt the need to ask if she was feeling alright.

"Erwin, I spent far too much of my life trusting no one. That was far more painful than any level of betrayal could ever be."

Aubrey returned to her work immediately but Erwin was left speechless with just the sound of Aubrey's scratching quil to fill the silence. Aubrey very rarely spoke about her past and even a vague mention of it was enough to make him pause.

After a few more seconds, Erwin regained his composure and returned to his work.

The two of them continued to work quietly for the better part of the hour while enjoying each other's company. Aubrey hadn't really had much to discuss, she simply wanted to feel the presence of her friend at a time when everything seemed so unsure.

For the rest of the hour the two of them discussed frivolous topics. Erwin complimented her tea-making abilities and told her about some fundraiser he'd have to attend later in the month. Aubrey spoke about Chris and the rest of the Special Ops Squad, explaining that they were growing on her. The time passed quickly and, eventually, Erwin mentioned that their hour of peace was coming to an end.

Aubrey sighed, letting her quil drop onto the desk. She'd managed to get quite a bit of work done. Nearly all of the unfinished papers had now formed into one, giant "complete" pile. And, from the looks of it, only a few additional reports had been slid under the door. Maybe Erwin would actually be able to get some sleep.

Slowly, Aubrey stood from her chair, stretching her muscles as she rose.

"Well, I guess I'll head out then. Make sure you get something to eat and don't stay up too late."

Erwin chuckled. Aubrey's concern for his well-being never failed to amuse him.

"I'll do my best."

Aubrey eyed him suspiciously.

"You'd better. You have a big day tomorrow, Commander."

Erwin nodded, a small smile still on his lips.

Aubrey finally turned, heading for the door.

"Do you want me to take the tea?"

Erwin shook his head. "No, I'll take it down later. Thank you, Aubrey. Try to get some rest. I need you to be ready for tomorrow."

Aubrey nodded, a frown forming on her face as she was reminded of the imminent expedition. There was so much risk and loss that came along with being a Scout. Sometimes the pain was so much that she almost wished she'd never joined at all. But as she'd said to Erwin earlier, she'd spent far too much of her life without trust, love, or attachment and that was worse than all of the loss she'd felt combined. There was nothing more horrible than complete and utter isolation.

In that moment, Aubrey felt the overwhelming urge to be grateful for what she had and even for what she had lost. It was so much better than the life she would have lived. Caring was cruel but it was beautiful.

"Erwin?"

The Commander looked up from his papers, surprised to see the blatant look of pain of Aubrey's features.

"Yes?"

Aubrey felt her eyes glass over. What she was about to say... she hoped it would be enough.

"I love you." Erwin quickly comprehended the situation and his expression shifted to mirror Aubrey's. "I, um, hope you know what I mean by that."

Erwin dropped his head, a sad yet content look covering his features.

"Yes, I believe I do. I... love you too."

Erwin had to work to get the words out. He'd never imagined he'd be telling one of his soldiers he loved them but he knew that Aubrey was far more than just a soldier to him. She was practically his sister and someone that he no doubt loved.

Aubrey fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. Her next words sounded hoarse and sloppy.

"The last time we left the walls I didn't get to say that to the people I loved. So... I thought you should hear it before tomorrow."

Erwin didn't know how to respond and so he was only able to stare back at Aubrey with the most understanding expression he could muster.

Finally, Aubrey felt a shift and realized she should really be leaving. After all, Erwin had to get back to his work if he was going to follow her instructions and go to bed at a decent time.

"Right, well..." Aubrey stepped forward, leaned down, and placed a light kiss on Erwin's cheek. "Goodnight, Erwin."

Erwin took a deep breath. "Goodnight, Aubrey."

With that, Aubrey turned on her heel and left, hoping that she'd still be able to find the others she'd come to love before the night ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiyoooooo! I'm back with another chapter! Sorry that it took me so long to get this up. I got too excited about writing and ended up writing the next chapter before coming back to edit this one. So, expect another chapter sometime VERY soon! I'm loving getting back into writing and I'm so happy to see that so many of you are still reading this story lol. I was worried that maybe everyone had given up on me. Anyway, PLEASE leave a comment if you can! I've missed talking with y'all and I'd be happy to talk about anything :) Again, THANK YOU FOR BEING THE BEST PEOPLE EVER AND READING THIS.


	30. Chapter 30

"Levi?"

Levi turned to see a slowly approaching Aubrey, an uncharacteristically distant look in her eyes.

"Oh, hey Aubrey!" Isabel didn't hesitate to yell an obnoxiously loud greeting. Furlan rolled his eyes at her and Levi remained silent.

"Hey." Aubrey stood about ten feet away from them, a sheepish look on her face.

Levi's brows furrowed. Aubrey was many things but never sheepish.

"Well, what are you doing all the way over there?" Levi tilted his head in a gesture that implied she should join them.

Aubrey smiled softly and followed Levi's instructions. Unfortunately, though, he was sandwiched between Isabel and Furlan. So, instead of disrupting their pattern, Aubrey made her way over to sit next to Isabel. The two of them had grown exceedingly close in the last weeks. Isabel had visited her room a countless number of times and Aubrey felt as though she'd found a little sister of sorts.

Even Furlan had become a member of her inner circle. Though they had never spent much time together alone, the endless meals together had given them plenty of time to grow close.

And then there was Levi... Aubrey had let him in so close that she didn't even know what to do with herself.

Aubrey looked out at the view that her friends had managed to find. They'd found a ledge on the side of the castle that looked out over the field and directly at the now setting sun. It was breathtaking.

"Where have you been all night? You kind of rushed out at dinner."

Aubrey turned her attention to Furlan, craning her neck to see him over the line of people.

"Oh, um, I needed to talk to Erwin and then I helped him with some paperwork for a while." Aubrey's voice was so far-off and removed that none of them even flinched at the mention of the Commander.

"Oi, is something wrong?" Levi's blunt question rang in Aubrey's ears as she folded her hand over in her lap. She felt nervous, so completely nervous. She didn't know how to express her thoughts without scaring them or making them worry.

"Um, no, nothing is really wrong it's just, well, I, um-"

"Spit it out, brat." Levi's voice was impatient but Aubrey was sure that she could detect an undercurrent of worry.

She sighed. She still had no idea how to say it but she'd just have to try.

"You all know that tomorrow is... the expedition." Aubrey paused, only receiving blank stares from her friends.

"Well, I just want you all to know that..."

She couldn't say love. Not with Levi sitting right there. That would be too much. Besides, the way she felt about Levi was completely different from the way she felt about Isabel and Furlan. A blanket statement wouldn't apply.

"I just want you all to know that I need you."

Aubrey waited for any kind of response but it seemed that all three of them were waiting for further elaboration.

"Look, none of you have ever been outside the walls so I can't expect you to ever be completely prepared but... please, just... stay alive. I need you to stay alive. All of you."

Again, silence. But this time Aubrey didn't really have much to add.

Finally, the silence was broken by a laugh. A laugh.

Aubrey stared in astonishment as Isabel giggled next to her. They were talking about life and death and Isabel was laughing.

Finally, the laughing quieted and Isabel spoke up.

"You don't need to worry about us! We'll be just fine."

Aubrey felt panic rising in the pits of her stomach.

"No, Isabel, you don't understand. You've never been out there. You've never seen them."

It was Furlan's turn to answer her worries.

"Don't underestimate us, Aubrey. After all, I think we're better than most of the soldiers here, right?"

Aubrey felt the alarm in her stomach rising even higher and her heart began to beat wildly. She couldn't do this again. She wouldn't do this again. She refused to lose those she loved again.

Aubrey opened her mouth but before she could speak, she was interrupted by a strong voice.

"Oi, remember what I promised you."

For a moment, all Aubrey felt was confusion. What promise?

And then the memory came flooding back. A dark night at the pond, a bout of panic, a calming reassurance from a steady Levi.

'I promise that I'll be careful. I promise that I'll try not to get killed and I promise that Isabel and Furlan will try to do the same."

Aubrey's panic didn't lessen but the determined and strong look in Levi's eyes steadied her.

Levi held her gaze, his stare so intense that she wouldn't be able to look away even if she wanted to.

But, as the seconds passed, the stability in that gaze pushed the panic back down. How could she not believe in someone so sure, so strong? That look... it was enough to make Aubrey feel safe. At least safe enough to calm down.

Finally, Aubrey felt her heart calm to the point that she no longer needed the support of Levi's gaze. He must have recognized her return to normality because he let the intensity of his stare sizzle out.

Aubrey returned to the present only to see that Isabel and Furlan were barely suppressing mischievous smiles. Apparently Levi noticed too because he gave both of them light smacks on the back of the head.

Aubrey tried to gather herself and cleared her throat. Once again, she'd managed to get lost in Levi. 

Aubrey couldn't think of a single thing to say and so she didn't. Instead, the four of them sat there, watching the sun do down until only the faintest glimmers of light remained.

Levi was the one to break up their viewing session.

"Oi, we should go. It's getting late."

Still, no one else spoke but all of them stood and began to make their way back to the barracks. The walk was quiet with only the crunch of the earth beneath their feet to fill the void.

Finally, it came time to part ways but Aubrey halted everyone before they could go any further.

"Wait."

Without warning, Aubrey approached Furlan and enveloped him in a crushing hug. Their height difference made it a bit awkward but Aubrey didn't really care. She had her friend in her arms and that was all that mattered.

When she pulled away from Furlan, Aubrey didn't hesitate to reach for Isabel and she found that her friend was more than willing to return the embrace. The two of them hugged the longest with Aubrey whispering a "sleep well" in Isabel's ear before pulling away.

That left Levi.

He stood wordlessly with his hands in his pockets. His face was a picture of stone but his eyes once again gave him away. They were burning.

After just a moment of hesitation, Aubrey jumped at him, holding him so tightly she was sure that he must be uncomfortable, even if he didn't mention it. And surprisingly, even if it took him a few seconds, Levi held her back.

Aubrey took a few liberties that may have been inappropriate considering their boundaries and their audience. Her hand ran up his neck and into his hair, scratching at his undercut and grasping at the strands. A sigh escaped her lips just next to his ear and she could have sworn she felt a shiver go up his spine. The thought only made her hold him tighter.

It was almost too much. The fresh scent of clean clothes and mint and some perhaps pine radiated off of his body and captivated Aubrey until she was sure she'd never be able to let go. Every point where their bodies touched, which was almost everywhere, was on fire and warmed her from the inside, out.

Had it not been for a subtle cough from Furlan, Aubrey was sure she would have stayed in Levi's arms the whole night.

With a deep sense of dread in her stomach, Aubrey finally pulled away but not before whispering a final line in Levi's ear.

"Dress warm tonight."

Screw boundaries.

At that, Aubrey left Levi's arms completely and somehow managed to hold herself upright without the support of his body. She hadn't been sure that her legs would bear her weight.

Levi's eyes raked over her and she could see her sense of longing reflected in his own gaze.

Aubrey pulled herself together for what felt like the millionth time that night and finally bid her friends goodnight, giving each of them a warm glance before she turned away.

_________________________

Aubrey rushed back to her room, throwing open the door as soon as she touched the handle. Hastily, she rummaged through her drawers, pulling out the warmest set of clothes she had plus her winter boots.

She changed quickly and threw her coat over her arm. She was ready. Now she just had to wait.

Every second seemed like an eternity as Aubrey waited for that all too familiar knock on her door. By the time it finally came, she'd worked herself into a stupor.

Aubrey threw open the door in an instant to find a calm-as-ever Levi. He'd dressed warmly, just as she'd asked him to. All of his clothing was the standard military-issued winter clothing. Sturdy, lined boots, thicker pants, an insulated shirt, and a long coat, which he had yet to actually put on. The summer months may have been waning but it wasn't nearly chilly enough for a coat. At least not at this point in the night.

Aubrey tore her eyes away from his body and focused on the present.

"Let's go."

Aubrey didn't wait for an answer as she eagerly pulled Levi toward their usual destination. Just like every other night, they'd be going to the pond. But this time, Aubrey had no intention of returning to her bed before sunrise.

Levi didn't question Aubrey's urgency as she dragged him along their route. The desperation in her steps was enough to keep him silent. Whatever was going on in her mind was something that should be left alone until she was ready to let it out.

The sound of dirt crunching underfoot was all that could be heard until Aubrey finally dragged the two of them through the treeline and the pond came into full view.

Aubrey turned around shakily, meeting Levi's eyes. She was sure that her face was riddled with a mix of desperation, worry, need, and horror. Apparently she was right because Levi's brows instantly furrowed and she felt him squeeze her hand in a silent question.

Aubrey shook her head, not knowing how to articulate what she was feeling. There was too much emotion swirling inside her. Every second she felt something new.

Instead of trying to decipher the riddle that was her mind, Aubrey decided that she would simply ask for what she needed.

"Lie with me?"

Levi nodded without hesitation. They had lain together practically every night since they'd started coming to the pond.

Seeing the desperation in Aubrey's eyes, Levi didn't wait even a second before he began pulling Aubrey across the grass and toward the peninsula. As soon as they arrived, he sank to the ground with Aubrey following closely behind.

For once, Levi didn't even think about the dirt beneath his back; his whole attention was on Aubrey. His coat was tossed to the side, as was hers, and the two of them stared at each other for a few moments. Finally, Levi turned his eyes to the sky, awaiting the all too familiar instruction. 'Find Polaris'.

But as soon as he looked away, he felt a chilled set of fingers slide behind his neck, guiding his eyes back to Aubrey's.

"No, Levi. Lie with me."

Levi felt his eyes widen. What?

Upon seeing his reaction, Aubrey's confidence began to waver. Perhaps he wasn't comfortable or didn't feel the same way. Perhaps their boundaries still mattered to him. If she was being honest, keeping those rules in place would probably be for the best until after the expedition. But she just couldn't stop herself. It was the expedition itself that had brought on this wave of emotion, this wave of desperation. All consequences aside, Aubrey knew that tonight, not crossing their boundaries would be far more painful than putting them aside.

But, despite the pain she felt, Aubrey began to pull her fingers back, dreading the moment that they would leave Levi's skin.

Suddenly, and with an almost alarming quickness, Levi's hand shot up, preventing Aubrey from moving any further away.

"Tell me what you need."

Aubrey found herself speechless. Just a second ago she'd thought she was being rejected.

She took a deep breath. Her whole body felt as though it was about to dissolve. She'd never done anything like this before. She didn't really know what to ask for or how to ask for it. Everything was so foreign.

She'd just have to do her best.

"I-I need you to hold me."

There was no time wasted as Levi turned toward Aubrey, giving her his full attention.

Aubrey couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips when Levi's arms reached toward her, one sliding under her neck and the other wrapping around her back. It felt as though every part of her was on fire. Flames ran up and down her skin with such intensity that it was hard to keep still.

Levi pulled her close, so close that they were touching in every way possible. Even their legs somehow managed to entangle themselves.

Aubrey's hands were now pressed against Levi's chest. For a moment, she lingered there, admiring the hard muscles that could be felt even beneath his insulated shirt. After taking in that sensation, Aubrey slid a hand upward, her fingers finally halting when they were able to tangle into Levi's hair.

A soft sigh left Levi's lips and Aubrey suddenly felt encouraged to get even closer. Slowly, she inched her head up, burying herself in the crook of Levi's neck. She was in roughly the same position as their earlier hug and yet this time it felt so much more intimate. Perhaps it was the little exhales and murmurs that neither of them could seem to hold in or perhaps it was simply that they were alone. Either way, Aubrey never wanted it to end, never wanted to let go.

Levi held her tighter without Aubrey even having to ask. It seemed like he could read her mind. When she wanted him closer, he shifted so even more of their bodies were touching. When she wanted his bare skin on hers, his hand moved from her back to tracing the outline of her jaw. When she wanted his reassurance, a light hum would signal that he was there.

As time passed, Aubrey realized that her emotions were catching up with her. Levi's closeness had distracted her for a while but now the feeling of him beside her only brought up thoughts of the emptiness she would feel if things went wrong tomorrow.

Aubrey whimpered, her fingers twisting just a bit too tightly into Levi's hair as her eyes glassed over. She was going to cry. She was going to cry.

Aubrey felt her whole body shake as the first tears rolled down her cheeks and landed on Levi's shirt. As much as she tried to hide it, sharp inhales and shaky exhales revealed exactly what was going on.

At first, Levi didn't know what to do, again angered by his lack of emotional capabilities. Seeing Aubrey without a smile was rare, much less seeing her cry, and Levi felt concern wash over him with intensity.

Doing his best to keep her close but still pull back enough to see her face, Levi tugged gently on Aubrey's side.

To his surprise, she resisted. Was she afraid of showing him her pain?

"Aubrey."

Levi said her name sternly and with authority. It was not simply a request for her attention, it was a demand. He wanted to see her face now.

Aubrey picked up on the tone of his voice and instantly knew that she should follow his direction. Levi wasn't playing around.

Reluctantly, Aubrey pulled back and lifted her eyes to meet Levi's. Tears clouded her vision but she could still see the intense look on his face. He wanted answers and Aubrey knew he deserved them. She would have to put together some kind of rambling reply.

Taking a shuddering breath, Aubrey tried to calm herself down. She couldn't tell him anything if she couldn't control her sobs.

Finally, Aubrey settled enough to whisper with a somewhat steady voice.

"Levi, I... I'm so afraid."

Levi didn't speak but his eyebrows furrowed in a silent question. Why?

Aubrey shook her head, not wanting to remember the pain she'd once felt but knowing it was necessary.

"Levi, I can't lose you. If I lose you... I don't think I could go on."

Levi only waited for further explanation.

Suddenly, Aubrey began to feel more frantic than ever. She needed to be able to tell Levi how she felt but the words just weren't forming. She loved him. But in a way that she'd never experienced, in a way that she'd never expected to experience. At this moment, he was everything to her; he was all she could see, all she could feel, all she could think about. And she couldn't let go of another person she loved. She didn't know how to explain or what to do. Her heart began to race in her chest and her breathing quickened.

But then, in an instant, her mind cleared. Aubrey knew exactly what to do. She knew exactly what she needed to do, no matter how many rules it broke. There was no way to put how she felt into words. It could be explained through actions.

Carefully, and with the gentlest touch her shaky hands could muster, Aubrey reached out, allowing her palm to rest on Levi's cheek. The fire that rippled up her arm was more intense than ever before. Maybe her body knew what her mind was planning.

Levi didn't move but his eyes seemed to shift through a series of emotions. First confusion, then surprise, and then something Aubrey could only describe as hunger. His pupils dilated so widely that Aubrey was sure he could see every miniscule divot and scar on her skin. The look was so intense that Aubrey almost felt the need to pull away. She'd never had someone really look at her that way.

But, despite her nervousness, Aubrey pushed on.

With a feather-light touch, she began to trace every detail of Levi's features. Her fingers ran up the side of his face until they reached the jet-black bangs that were shifting in the breeze. She allowed herself a moment to brush them out of his eyes before moving on to trace the subtlety of his brow bone, the ridge of his nose, his concerningly dark undereyes, his chiseled jawline, and eventually... his lips.

Aubrey shuddered as her skin came into contact with Levi's mouth. His lips were slightly parted and were softer than she'd expected. That only made Aubrey even more desperate to explore them. Her fingertips lingered on Levi's mouth for a long time as she felt his steady breaths go in and out. She wondered how his breathing could be so consistent when hers was so erratic.

Finally, Aubrey's hand moved to Levi's cheek and her eyes moved to meet his. The same, hungry, look was there but somehow it had managed to grow even stronger. Aubrey swallowed.

Aubrey tried to gather herself enough to ask one last question.

"Levi, I want t-to ki-"

Levi let out a frustrated grunt and grabbed Aubrey's forearm, yanking her toward him. Before she could comprehend her situation, Aubrey felt a set of urgent lips meet her own. They crashed into her with a force so desperate and carnal that her eyes widened in surprise. Levi had reached up to wrap his hand around the back of Aubrey's head, his fingers entwining in her hair and pressing her lips even harder against his own.

Fire ripped through her entire body, zings of electricity reaching every muscle in her body. Yet Aubrey remained still, completely unaware of how to return his advance. She hadn't been prepared for this scenario and she wasn't sure how to respond. How had their confrontation gone from her advance to his so quickly?

In an instant, Levi's lips had left hers but his hand remained twisted in her hair. Their faces were only inches apart as he spoke to her, strands of his ebony hair falling in his eyes. "Oi, brat, stop thinking so hard and kiss me back."

Aubrey felt a switch go off inside of her. Suddenly, he was much too far away, the few inches between them causing a cold rift that left her feeling empty. The fire had disappeared the second his lips had left hers and everything in her mind and body pushed her to move forward and bring back the sensation. He was a drug.

Throwing all reservations out the window, Aubrey flung herself toward him, reconnecting their lips and causing Levi to lose his balance and roll onto his back, Aubrey on top of him.

Their predicament didn't last long, though, as apparently Levi wasn't a fan. He swiftly flipped them over, Aubrey's back now pressed into the grass as he hovered over her. Aubrey didn't mind, so long as his lips never left hers... which they didn't.

Levi kissed her so forcefully that she was sure her lips would bruise, but Aubrey didn't hesitate to return his intensity.

Eventually, Aubrey felt Levi's kisses grow softer and less urgent. Their movements became slower and more gentle until Aubrey felt as if she would melt right into his arms. The fire within her had altered. It was no longer an electric zap throughout her body, but rather a dull pulse that seemed to envelope her in warmth. Levi's advance had certainly been unexpected but now all Aubrey could do was dread the moment that they would inevitably have to break apart.

Aubrey unlocked her hands from Levi's hair and tenderly trailed her fingers up Levi's neck until one of her palms cupped his cheek and the other pressed against his chest. Levi responded by slowing his kisses even more, emitting a gentleness and care that Aubrey had never experienced in her life.

Finally, neither of them could go any longer and they broke away, gasping for air. Levi leaned his forehead against Aubrey's as he held his position over her. Both of them lay still, catching their breath and dealing with the absence of the fire while relishing in their closeness.

After having restored an adequate amount of oxygen to his lungs, Levi pulled back just enough to look Aubrey in the eyes.

For a moment, she was speechless. What could she possibly say? Everything she'd been feeling had gone into that kiss. Surely Levi had felt her urgency, her fear, her love. There was nothing to say.

But Levi felt differently.

"Tell me why."

Aubrey's eyebrows pushed together.

"Why, what?"

"Why do you trust me?"

Levi's tone was unexpectedly harsh and Aubrey felt herself growing more confused every second.

"Because... I... I've given up trying not to."

Now it was Levi's turn to look confused. Frustration shined in his eyes and Aubrey could tell he'd need more explanation than that.

Slowly, she began to prop herself up on her elbows. When Levi realized what she was doing he quickly began to move off her. Aubrey didn't let him get far. A cool hand wrapped around his collar, keeping him as close as possible.

Levi tried to calm himself as he awaited the answer he'd asked for. Depending on what was said, he'd have to decide whether to hold on... or to let go.

"Levi, listen to me very closely." Aubrey paused, making sure he was following her instructions. From the look of concentration on his face, she figured he was taking their conversation seriously enough. "From the very first time I brought you here, I wanted to trust you. 'Wanted to' being the key words there. You scared me, Levi. The way I feel about you... it's unlike anything I've ever felt before. I was taught to always be wary of the unknown and life has taught me that caring hurts. It hurts more than almost anything. In fact, it hurts more than anything except not caring. I don't know why it took the threat of the expedition for me to realize that that concept applied to you, too, but... I realize it now. I trust you because if something happened to you tomorrow and you didn't know how I feel about you... that would hurt the most. Like I said, I don't think I could go on. You are... everything."

Levi stared in silence. He had no response. Or at least he couldn't think of one. He'd never been good with emotions or words and this was a situation that called for both. His lips parted to speak but he couldn't seem to form the words. His breath came faster as every word of Aubrey's speech sank in. How could he answer such a declaration? How should he answer?

It was obvious to Aubrey that Levi was spiraling. His mouth had opened more than once only to close again when he couldn't articulate his thoughts. His breathing was erratic and Aubrey could feel the tension coiled in his muscles. If she left the next words to him, she'd be waiting all night.

"Levi." Aubrey raised both hands to cradle his face. Perhaps her touch would soothe him... or light him on fire. She hoped for the latter. "I just want you to answer one question for me. And answer me honestly, please."

It took all of Levi's strength to simply nod. For once, he was glad that someone else was taking control of the situation.

Aubrey took a deep breath. There was no answer that she feared more than the one she'd hear in only a matter of seconds. It seemed as though her existence depended on it.

"Levi... do you love me?"

Electricity zapped through the air and Aubrey felt as if she might burn alive. Everything was blurry yet clear at the same time and every nerve was buzzing in anticipation. The world came in and out of focus as seconds as long as centuries passed in agony.

Aubrey waited in torment. When was he going to answer? Why hadn't he answered?

Aubrey felt all hope leave her body. His silence was the only answer he'd given. His answer was no. He didn't love her. At least not in the way she loved him.

"Yes."

The whisper was so soft that Aubrey was sure she'd imagined it. It was her mind playing tricks on her, trying to rid itself of the pain that was beginning to overwhelm her. But... maybe...

"What?"

She had to be sure, had to be sure that she was imagining things.

"Yes."

Aubrey could barely believe it. It couldn't be real. And yet Levi's lips had moved in time with the sound and his eyes were giving her every indication that she'd heard correctly.

Aubrey was only sure when Levi answered for a third time, finally loud enough that there was no possibility of mind tricks.

"Yes."

Slowly, a smile made its way to Aubrey's lips. Relief, bliss, hope, comfort... all of them washed over her in such strong waves that she could barely manage to say what had been on her mind for weeks. Somehow, though, her words came out clearly and with more strength than she ever thought she'd be able to muster.

"Good, because... I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHH! This chapter was way too exciting to write. Finally, after 30 CHAPTERS, they've gotten together lol. Anyway, PLEASE let me know what you think! This chapter had A LOT of content, so I'm really interested to hear everyone's thoughts. Next chapter might take me a little while to get up. I haven't quite decided how I want to proceed (to smut or not to smut?) and I might need some time decide how I want the story to play out. Either way, we're making progress! Again, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT! I love them :)


	31. Chapter 31

WARNING: This chapter contains smut! It’s not the most explicit smut out there but it’s also not PG so proceed at your own risk! If you’d like to skip this chapter all you really need to know is that… smut happens lol.

Heat, fire, burning. It was all that Aubrey could feel. The combination of Levi’s declaration had left her nearly breathless and it hadn’t taken long before his lips found hers once again. His kisses no longer held the soft and steady movements of before. Instead, all Aubrey could feel was the passion and total hunger that radiated off him.  
More than once Aubrey needed to break away for air but Levi never seemed to let her catch her breath. Just a few seconds’ worth of oxygen could be restored before he became too impatient, too eager, and his mouth would find hers again.  
The intensity of the entire situation was almost too much for Aubrey to handle. All thoughts seemed to leave her mind and all she could focus on was Levi. He was so close yet it still felt like he wasn’t close enough. Their bodies were touching in nearly every possible way and yet Aubrey still felt the desire for more.  
But she wasn’t dumb.  
Aubrey knew exactly where the concept of more could lead them. Was that what she wanted?  
She didn’t really know. Instead of her running through the consequences in her head, all Aubrey could think about was the way Levi’s hands felt in her hair, the way his lips moved in sync with hers, the way there just seemed to be too many damn layers between her skin and his.  
Uh oh.  
“Levi.” Aubrey broke away, panting. It had been far too long since she’d gotten a deep breath. If she weren’t so dazed, she’d probably be impressed that Levi didn’t seem to need nearly as much air as she did.  
Levi barely paused. The second she broke away from him, his lips found other places to occupy. His mouth made its way across Aubrey’s jaw before he eventually moved to her neck.  
It took every ounce of willpower Aubrey had in order to speak. Her brain seemed barely capable of focusing on anything other than the new sensations she was feeling all over her body.  
“L-Levi, are we-”  
Aubrey let out a loud gasp as Levi reached a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. Shivers ran up her spine and her back arched off the ground.  
Levi felt a rush of excitement run through him. He’d obviously done something right. Playing off the reaction he’d just received, Levi focused in on the zone he’d found. He kissed again in the same spot and Aubrey gasped again, albeit a bit quieter than the first time.  
Levi proceeded, this time using not only his lips but also allowing his tongue and teeth to graze the area.  
Aubrey couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped her.  
Almost instinctively, her hands flew into Levi’s hair and her fingers tightened around the strands. The small bites he was leaving on her neck were almost enough to make her completely forget what she’d been thinking. Almost.  
Somehow, Aubrey forced herself to retrace her thoughts. Every brush of Levi’s lips was another obstacle she had to overcome. But eventually, her mouth formed the words.  
“Levi… are we… are we sure… about this?”  
Levi halted immediately, a sense of guilt coming over him. He’d let himself get carried away. The moment had overwhelmed him and for once in his life, he hadn’t stopped to think. He’d simply done what had come naturally.  
Levi lifted his head enough to meet Aubrey’s eyes and Aubrey had to work not to squirm as he pulled away from her neck. As hard as she’d worked to get his attention, she found herself desperate for his lips to be back on her skin.  
Levi looked down at her, finally seeing the need in her features. But the need for what? The need for him to stop? The need to continue?  
But that wasn’t all he saw. Reflected in Aubrey’s eyes, Levi could see just how crazed he had become. He wasn’t thinking, only acting. And now that he’d taken a second to breathe, he could see that there was more to be discussed. Specifically a certain mission.  
He couldn’t do this to Aubrey. He couldn’t be with her tonight and then betray her tomorrow. His mission would directly affect her. An attack on Erwin was as good as an attack on her.  
No matter how badly he wished he could make the dumb mission disappear, he had to tell her. Maybe not everything, but enough to let her know that they should stop. He’d answer her question for her. They weren’t going to do this.  
Levi sighed but he didn’t move away. In a few moments, Aubrey would have him pushed into the dirt and she’d never want to see him again. He’d take as many seconds of her touch as he could.  
“I need to tell you something.”  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed. She had a feeling that whatever was coming wasn’t going to be good.  
Levi closed his eyes as he began to speak. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle the look of betrayal on Aubrey’s face when she found out.  
“I’m not here with the Scouts for the reasons you think I am. The Commander and I-”  
“Stop.” Aubrey pressed a finger to Levi’s lips before he could continue. “I already know this.”  
Levi’s eyes widened. What?  
Seeing the shock on Levi’s face, Aubrey hurried to continue.  
“I don’t know everything and, this is going to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever said in my life,... I don’t want to.”  
Levi stared at her, his face shifting from shock to confusion and back again.  
Aubrey went on. “I know that you have some kind of battle with Erwin and I know that you think it will hurt me and… you might be right. But I don’t want to know right now. I don’t want to ruin this. Please. Just for tonight, forget whatever it is that’s between you two.”  
It took Levi several long moments to process her words. She didn’t care? How did she not care? How could she want him to forget?  
Levi’s head spun until a gentle touch on his cheek brought him back to the present.  
“Please.” Aubrey's plea was barely above a whisper and yet it was all Levi needed to accept her wish. Logically, her avoidance didn’t make sense but, then again, none of their being together made sense. All of it went against what they should be doing. But, especially in this moment, with her body so warm and soft beneath him, Levi didn’t really care, either.  
“You’re sure?”  
Aubrey didn’t hesitate as she nodded. The strong look in her eyes only confirmed to Levi that she truly meant it.  
Levi looked down at her. He’d addressed his issue. Now it was her turn.  
“Then why did you stop me?”  
For the first time that night, Aubrey’s face flushed. She realized just how ridiculous it was. Just a moment ago Levi had been plastered on top of her with his lips dangerously low on her neck. And yet, now, was the time she decided to blush.  
Aubrey shook her head. “I-I don’t know. It was all just happening so fast and I… I…”  
Levi arched an eyebrow, asking for the rest of her response.  
Aubrey flinched as she spoke. “I’ve… never done this before.”  
Levi’s brow dropped back down.  
“Is that all?”  
Aubrey’s face scrunched in confusion. Was that all?  
“U-umm… y-yes, I think so. I’m just… nervous.”  
Levi leaned back down, his mouth stopping at Aubrey’s ear. His fingers moved back to the sensitive spot on her neck and a small squeal escaped her at the touch.  
“Would it make you feel better if I told you I've never done this before, either?”  
Aubrey’s head snapped to face him, leaving their faces so close that their noses were almost touching.  
“Does that surprise you?” Levi’s voice had dropped low and his fingers were still trailing across Aubrey’s skin, making it difficult for her to answer.  
“Well, I guess I just assumed that you’d-”  
“Tch.” Levi cut her off before she could finish. “I’ve never had the time or desire… or the right person.”  
As his sentence ended, Levi dipped his head, placing his lips underneath Aubrey’s jaw.  
Aubrey barely had enough room in her mind to keep up with the conversation.  
“And I’m… the right person?”  
Levi pulled himself up to look Aubrey in the eyes one last time. His hand came up to rest on her cheek and did his best assure her that he was speaking the truth.  
“Yes.”  
Aubrey took a shuddering breath. It was true that she was nervous, but for every bit of nervousness, there was a bit of excitement to match it.  
Levi must have recognized the look on her face because it only took him a second to ask the question she’d been waiting for.  
“Are you sure?”  
Aubrey spoke assuredly and she was surprised that her voice could sound so strong when she felt so weak.  
“Yes, I’m sure.”  
Levi paused, giving her the opportunity to change her mind or take back her words. But she never did.  
Slowly, he leaned back down, pressing a kiss to Aubrey’s lips. His touch was featherlight, their mouths barely brushing. He could feel Aubrey’s body tensed beneath him. Her nervousness was so obvious it was almost painful. He’d have to fix that. None of this would mean anything if she couldn’t enjoy herself.  
Continuing with his light touches, Levi trailed his lips over Aubrey’s cheek until his mouth reached her ear.  
“Relax.”  
Aubrey inhaled sharply but her muscles didn’t seem to loosen. Apparently, Levi would have to try a little harder. He didn’t mind. They quite literally had all night.  
Levi moved his lips back to Aubrey’s where he kissed her with a bit more force. She seemed to respond positively to that but it wasn’t enough. She was still too tense.  
Levi’s hand searched until he found Aubrey’s pressed against his chest. He lifted her palm to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss at the center before he moved on to each of her fingertips.  
“Relax.”  
Levi murmured the word into her skin and it seemed to work. Aubrey’s muscles loosened every so slightly and her hand turned to putty at the touch of his lips. Levi suppressed a smile. They were getting somewhere.  
When he was satisfied with the attention he’d given to Aubrey’s hand, Levi moved on to her wrist, kissing the delicate veins that shined through her skin. He travelled even further up, showering her forearm with care. He wished he could remove the thick shirt that left him unable to reach her skin but he didn’t think she was quite ready for that. So, for now, he’d have to make due.  
More kisses formed a path all the way up her arm until Levi reached her shoulder. He took the liberty of pulling her shirt collar down and to the side so that he could expose as much skin as possible. When he saw the thin strap of her undergarments he swallowed but didn’t pause.  
His mouth made contact with the skin of her shoulder and collarbone and Levi felt her breathing slow just a tiny bit.  
“Relax.”  
At the sound of Levi’s voice, Aubrey’s entire left arm released all tension and her eyes closed in relief.  
Levi smiled. His method was working.  
He moved to the other arm, repeating the process all over again.  
When he finally reached her other shoulder, Levi once again pulled her collar to the side, exposing as much skin as possible. With each passing second he was growing more desperate to remove the stupid cloth.  
Aubrey couldn’t help the sighs that escaped her. Levi’s movements were turning to sensations all over her body. Heat was pooling at her core and she was suddenly very aware of Levi’s knee between her legs.  
Levi placed another kiss on Aubrey’s mouth and her lips moved in time with his. But this time, he wasn’t able to pull away.  
Aubrey’s hands crept up into his hair, making it impossible for him to pull away. She was growing desperate for more. The light kisses and loving touches had served their purpose. Now she was ready to move on.  
Levi quickly caught on and picked up the intensity. He ran his tongue along Aubrey’s lower lip. When she didn’t open immediately, he responded by giving her lip a small bite. She gasped in return and Levi used her shock as an opportunity to deepen their kiss.  
Aubrey gave a light tug on Levi’s hair. A small reprimand for an unexpected bite. Levi smirked against her mouth.  
Eventually, Aubrey needed to break away. Her air supply was gone and she was left panting as Levi moved on.  
Ever so slowly, he made his way down Aubrey’s neck once more, pausing at the sensitive zone he’d found before. He lingered there for a while, allowing himself to lick and bite at the spot as Aubrey squirmed beneath him. Her small gasps and moans set him on fire and he could feel his own desire growing with each passing second.  
He wanted the damn shirt off. Now.  
With a gentle haste, Levi’s fingers found the hem of Aubrey’s shirt. He paused only for a short moment, glancing up at her for approval. The last thing he wanted was for the tension to return.  
Aubrey stared down at him. She saw the question in his eyes and didn’t hesitate to nod. She was ready. She was more than ready.  
Levi leaned back as Aubrey sat up, getting into a position where Levi could remove the shirt.  
Before he continued, Levi placed another kiss on Aubrey’s lips. As soon as they broke away, his fingers lifted the bottom of her shirt and he pulled it up and over her head.  
Levi sucked in a silent breath. She was… more beautiful than he’d ever imagined. Her green eyes seemed to drink in the moonlight and shined so brightly that Levi was half convinced they weren’t real. Her light blonde hair was messy but it only made her all the more alluring. Her lips were red and swollen and Levi couldn’t help leaning in for another kiss.  
But her body… it was… perfect.  
Levi wrapped an arm around her bare waist, bringing her as close as possible. Their lips found each other again and again and Aubrey’s hands traveled the planes of Levi’s chest before they eventually made their way to a now familiar spot in his hair.  
The kisses grew deeper, more intense each time and Aubrey soon felt the need for a break. But instead of pulling away, she did as Levi had done and made her way across his jaw and down his neck.  
She had to fight the urge to smile when she heard him sigh.  
When Aubrey reached his collar bone, she felt a surge of impatience. It was time for his shirt to come off.  
Aubrey crept back up, placing her mouth next to Levi’s ear.  
“Your turn.”  
Her hands reached for the seam of his top and Levi assisted in removing it.  
Aubrey could barely believe her eyes. His muscles were so chiseled and defined that she half thought it must have been the shadows of the night playing tricks on her. But a touch to his bare chest confirmed that what she saw was real.  
Every inch of his body was perfect. He had a few scars across his chest and stomach and Aubrey allowed her lips to follow the trail of each one.  
The last of them was on his lower abdomen but Aubrey halted when she saw the bulge in Levi’s pants. She hadn’t been expecting it. Well, she had, but not in that moment.  
She took a deep breath but felt a cool hand slide under her jaw. Levi lifted her eyes back to his, the yearning obvious on his face.  
Ever so gently, he guided Aubrey back to the ground. When her back hit the grass, Levi whispered in her ear.  
“Relax, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey nodded and took a deep breath. She forced her muscles to go limp. She’d been caught off guard, that was all.  
Satisfied with her renewed state of calm, Levi moved to where he wanted to be.  
His lips trailed from Aubrey’s collarbone and down her chest. He felt her tense once again when his lips hit her breast but he didn’t stop. His hands stroked her sides in a silent attempt to tell her it was alright.  
It must have worked because it wasn’t long before small moans filled the air and Levi felt confident enough to reach under Aubrey’s arched back and undo the hooks that kept her bra in place.  
Levi dragged the garment away, throwing it to the side as soon as it was free of Aubrey’s arms.  
Aubrey fought the urge to cover herself. The look on Levi’s face told her that he held nothing but love for her, but the awkwardness still lingered. And Levi was staring.  
When she couldn’t take it anymore, Aubrey reached up, pulling his lips to hers.  
“Seen enough?” Aubrey whispered between kisses and Levi smirked.  
“Not quite.”  
Aubrey felt her entire body quiver at his words. She had no idea that just a couple of words could cause her whole body to light on fire.  
Levi returned to her chest. He was, admittedly, a bit lost. It was true that he’d never done this before but Levi still thought himself fairly prepared. It had been almost impossible not to learn about this sort of thing in the Underground. It was an entirely vulgar place.  
He decided to start where he left off, leaving light kisses across the skin. Eventually, his hand joined and soon Aubrey was gasping as Levi massaged her breast. His mouth found her nipple and Aubrey whimpered, her back arching even further off the ground.  
Levi switched sides, pleased by her reaction. He must be doing something right.  
Aubrey’s hands reached into his hair, clutching and using him as a sort of anchor.  
Levi didn’t fail to notice that her legs had tightened around his knee, desperate for some kind of pressure or friction. He figured it was time for the next step.  
Levi left Aubrey’s breasts behind as his lips made their way down the center of her stomach. Her hands remained in his hair but with a little less grip.  
When Levi reached her hips he kissed along the waistband of her pants. With every touch, it was becoming harder to take things slow but Levi held himself back. There was still a lot more to do before he’d get there and the last thing he wanted was for this to be a rushed experience.  
Levi moved back, gently removing Aubrey’s shoes and tossing them to the side along with his own.  
Aubrey watched him carefully. He was moving with that almost cat-like grace that she’d always admired about him and it made him all the more irresistible.  
He paused for a second, his eyes meeting hers as he contemplated something. Then, his hands were at her waistband and his fingers were undoing the buttons of her pants. He tugged and the clothing slid off with ease. Levi worked his way down her legs until the pants were free. He discarded them into the pile of clothing that was forming behind them.  
Aubrey hadn’t felt so vulnerable in a very long time. Only her panties remained and she had a suspicion that they wouldn’t be on her for much longer. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Levi, it was more that she felt so… out of control. But that was what she wanted. One night where she didn’t have to worry, one night where she didn’t have to care.  
Levi looked up at Aubrey. He could see the anticipation on her face and it only made him more eager to continue.  
With as slow a motion he could manage, Levi reached for the last piece of clothing on her body. Her fingers slid under the fabric and he pulled, not daring to look until the cloth had been completely removed from her body.  
When Levi’s eyes wandered back, he couldn’t hold back his sharp inhale. The sight of Aubrey’s completely naked body was almost too much for him to handle. He felt the need to be on top of her right then. He needed as much of her skin on his as possible.  
Levi moved over her, his knee pressing between her legs. Aubrey cried out and gripped his arms. Levi didn’t hesitate, his mouth finding the sensitive spot on her neck again. That, in combination with the way he was shifting his knee around was enough to drive Aubrey crazy. She whimpered loudly and Levi’s name passed through her lips.  
Aubrey wasn’t the only one feeling eager. Levi knew he wouldn’t last much longer. But before he could move back to remove the rest of his clothes, Aubrey’s hands found his belt buckle, fumbling around until she somehow managed to undo it. She hastily undid the buttons and yanked, anxious to get the layer out of the way.  
Levi snickered into her skin and reached back to pull the pants all the way off his legs. He was left in nothing but his underwear but Aubrey was already working on that, too. Her fingers had already made it beneath the fabric when Levi joined her and the final obstacle was at last removed.  
Aubrey couldn’t help the way her eyes widened when she saw. A mixture of panic, desire, and impatience rushed through her. This was it.  
Levi watched her expression carefully as he brought a hand up to cup her jaw. Her gaze met his and he spoke softly and slowly, trying to sound comforting even with the excess amounts of adrenaline in his veins.  
“This is going to hurt but you need to relax. It’ll feel good eventually.”  
Aubrey swallowed hard but managed to nod. Anticipation with a pang of fear hit her in the gut.  
Levi lowered his lips to hers, putting as much care and attention as he could into the kiss. He knew this next part wasn’t going to be so enjoyable for her.  
When he broke away, Levi took his knee from between Aubrey’s legs. He nudged her thighs gently, making space, and then in one movement he was inside her.  
Aubrey cried out, her fingernails digging into Levi’s back and her teeth biting down on his neck.  
Levi kissed whatever skin his lips could touch, trying to stay as still as possible while she adjusted. Her breathing was labored and small mewls filled the air. Levi wished there was more he could do but the only thing that would help was time.  
Eventually, her breathing slowed and only the occasional moan left her mouth. Levi took that as a sign to start moving. At first, Aubrey yelped again and her teeth dug back into Levi’s neck. She hoped she wasn’t biting hard enough to draw blood but there were no guarantees. She’d never expected it to be this painful. And yet, with every rock of their hips, the pain lessened a tiny bit. Her moans shifted from those of pain to those of pleasure and her fingers scratched at Levi’s undercut and smoothed over the spots where her nails had left marks.  
Levi’s hands found hers and they twined together. He buried his head in the crook of her neck and Aubrey savored the feeling of him nibbling at a sensitive spot behind her ear. The pain had nearly dissipated entirely and Aubrey was actually able to contribute. Her legs moved to wrap around Levi’s back, pulling him closer. The action caused a low grunt to emit from Levi’s throat. Aubrey began to recognize their pace, the way their hips were moving, and she actively joined in.  
Levi unlocked one hand and brought it between Aubrey legs, pressing down on her most sensitive spot.  
She gasped loudly and squirmed but Levi’s weight held her in place. Her legs clenched even tighter around his back and she received a bite in return.  
Aubrey could feel the heat pooling at her center as Levi picked up their pace. Her head rolled back on the ground and Levi realized what was happening before she even told him.  
“L-Levi… I-I-”  
Levi cut her off with a kiss. He didn’t need her to tell him, he wanted every second to be dedicated to her pleasure.  
Aubrey couldn’t form any more words as her eyes began to roll back in her head. Levi moved even faster and she could feel every sensation culminating. Finally, everything came crashing down and Aubrey’s back arched off the ground, a desperate cry filling the air.  
Knowing she’d reached her peak, it only took Levi a few more movements to reach his high. A low groan signalled his end and then both of them collapsed.  
Levi shifted ever so slightly so that he wouldn’t crush Aubrey and then turned to look at her. Her eyes were closed and she was panting but there was a distinct look of contentment on her face. Levi allowed a rare smile to slip tthrough. Maybe she’d enjoyed herself as much as he had.  
He lifted a hand to her chin, turning her to face him.  
Aubrey’s eyes opened and when she noticed the upward tilt of his lips she couldn’t help but lean forward for a kiss. Levi propped himself up, deepening their kiss for as long as he could before they both needed more air. Neither of them had recovered.  
When he finally had the strength, Levi pulled out and shifted to his side, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to his front. Aubrey’s hand pressed into his chest and she reveled in the warmth radiating off his skin. Never in her life had she felt as safe as she did in that moment.  
For a while, the two of them lay there, exchanging kisses and comforting touches when they weren’t so out of breath.  
No one spoke until Aubrey decided that Levi’s body heat just wasn’t enough against the chilly night air.  
“Levi.”  
“Hm?” Levi was currently at her neck, his lips placing light touches all over.  
“I’m… cold.”  
Levi sighed. He’d suspected she’d say something along those lines. He was feeling rather comfortable in their current position and the thought of moving sent a ripple of annoyance through him. Still, he could see goosebumps starting to form on Aubrey’s skin and he knew he’d have to get her clothes.  
Levi stood slowly, leaving Aubrey on the ground as he made his way across the peninsula, picking up the scattered bits of clothing. He slid on his pants and underwear before he returned to her, the rest of their clothing in his hands.  
Aubrey reached for her bra but Levi caught her wrist before she could go further. She shot him a puzzled look but Levi didn’t give her any kind of answer. Instead he took the undergarment in his own hands and pulled Aubrey close. He brought her to his chest, sliding the garment up her arms and kissing her shoulder as he hooked it in the back.  
Levi picked up her panties next but Aubrey quickly yanked them from his hand and put them on herself. She knew if they weren’t careful, her underwear would come back off just as quickly as they’d gone on. Levi raised an eyebrow at her actions but said nothing.  
He reached for her shirt, slipping it over her head and pressing his lips to hers before picking up her pants.  
Now Aubrey was the one arching a brow. How was he planning to get those on?  
“Stand.”  
Aubrey did as he said but staggered a bit, finding her legs much weaker than she’d been expecting. Levi snickered but placed a hand on her leg to steady her. Aubrey gave him a light slap on the shoulder. He had no right to laugh at her when he was responsible.  
With a bit of support, Aubrey managed to step into her pants. Levi pulled them over her legs slowly, his lips lingering on her skin as he went up. Eventually, he had to button them and redo her buckle.  
Aubrey smiled at him before she gathered his shirt off the ground. It went over his head and Aubrey pulled it down. She was sad to see his muscles disappear behind the black fabric but she supposed she could make do with just the feel of them beneath her hands.  
Levi helped her slip into her boots, once again steadying her as she lifted each foot. His shoes went on in a second and then he was wrapping the long winter coat around Aubrey’s shoulders. His own coat was nearby but he didn’t feel a need for it yet.  
Levi sat on the ground, pulling Aubrey down and into his lap. Carefully, he lay them both on the ground and Aubrey wiggled around to face him. His arm served as the perfect pillow for her head and her hands once again pushed against his chest.  
Aubrey paused a moment before she looked into Levi’s eyes. She hoped he could see the truth in her eyes as she spoke.  
“I love you.”  
Levi hesitated for a second. He wasn’t used to this kind of thing but he could see that Aubrey was expecting reciprocation.  
Levi leaned down, his lips so close to hers that he was practically speaking into her mouth.  
“I… love you, too.”  
Aubrey closed the miniscule distance between their lips and drew him into a kiss that would last for minutes.  
That night, Aubrey slept in Levi’s arms beneath the stars and not a single nightmare dared to disrupt her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so ummmm, that was the smut chapter lol. There will be more later on, but this was actually my first ever smut-writing-session… Y’all when I tell you my face was red the whole time I was writing this… Anyway, I THINK I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, but smut is smut lol. Next chapter we get back to our regularly scheduled program. If you have any comments, please leave them! Every time I get a new one my brain gets a little rush of serotonin, so thanks.


	32. Chapter 32

Aubrey woke to a warm hand on her cheek. At first, she was confused, her eyes fluttering open at the touch. But then the memories of every kiss, every touch, came flooding back and a warm smile came to her lips.  
Levi hovered over her, his expression stunningly neutral.  
Aubrey stretched out, feeling the tension in her muscles dissipate as she lifted herself to a sitting position. Her eyes blinked repeatedly as they tried to take in the scene.  
Just the first few rays of daylight filled the sky and the air was still chilly. The pond was just as beautiful as ever but the early-morning light made it glow in an almost ethereal way.  
Aubrey turned her attention to Levi. He was on her right, his legs still entangled with hers.  
A tender smile returned to her face and she reached for his neck, pulling him down and into a kiss.  
“Good morning.” Aubrey spoke quietly against his lips. Her voice was rough and scratchy, drowsiness still clouding her consciousness.  
Levi responded by kissing her again, his hand trailing up her side until his fingers could wrap around the back of her head.  
Aubrey’s hands went to his chest, roaming around until she hit the seam of his shirt. One of her hands slid underneath the fabric, allowing her to feel the burning skin she’d admired so much.  
Apparently it drove Levi over the edge because before she knew it, Aubrey was on her back, Levi’s weight pushing her into the grass.  
His lips traveled along every inch of skin he could find and it was so intoxicating that Aubrey could barely find her voice.  
“Levi, wait.” Aubrey’s words were barely a whisper.  
Levi fought the urge to continue and came to slow stop, his head sinking into the crook of Aubrey’s neck as he sighed. He did not want to stop.  
Aubrey sensed his annoyance and had to hold in a giggle. The idea that he wanted her so badly sent waves of adrenaline through her entire body.  
But now was not the time. The sun was rising and soon soldiers would be waking up and readying themselves… for the expedition.  
Aubrey felt her giddiness dissipate. It wasn’t that she’d forgotten about the expedition, she’d just sealed it away for the night. Now it was staring her in the face.  
They would be moving out after breakfast and Aubrey had plenty of things to do before then.  
“I wish we could but… we need to get back.”  
Levi sighed again, his breath hot against Aubrey’s neck. It took every ounce of his willpower to lift himself up, his mouth finding hers for one last kiss.  
“Let’s go then.”  
Levi stood, extending a hand down to her.  
Aubrey took it, hoisting herself up.  
She nearly fell over.  
Her hands grasped Levi’s shoulders as she realized the soreness in her legs. Shit. Today was not the day to be sore.  
Levi held in the snicker that would have escaped had he not made a conscious effort to keep a straight face. His hands found Aubrey’s waist and he steadied her, watching as her expression shifted from surprise to annoyance.  
After a few more seconds, Aubrey found her balance and she let her hands drop to her sides.  
“I’m okay now.”  
Levi held on for a few more beats, just to be sure, and then let her go. When he saw that she was in no immediate danger of falling over, he reached for his coat. He’d fallen asleep before ever putting it on.  
He hung it over one arm before his free hand found Aubrey’s, entwining their fingers.  
The first few steps were rather uncomfortable and Aubrey grunted a bit each time she moved forward. But after a while, her muscles warmed enough that she could walk with only mild discomfort.  
Levi said nothing, waiting patiently and going as slowly as she needed to. Before long, they were walking at an only slightly below-average pace.  
Aubrey gave one last look at the pond before they entered the treeline. The place had only managed to become even more special to her.  
The two of them stolled quietly, enjoying each other’s presence and the peace of the morning. Aubrey;s eye caught on a white flower, its petals curled together, waiting for the sun to open them.  
Something poked in her mind, a thought she’d put to the side that was fighting to get her attention. Something important…  
“Shit.”  
Aubrey whirled around, ripping the flower from the ground.  
Before Levi could ask her what was going on, she’d stomped away into the woods.  
“Oi! Where the hell are you going?”  
He followed after her, concerned that something was seriously wrong. Why else would she go running into the forest?  
But instead of the avid chase he’d been expecting, Levi found Aubrey scanning the ground of a small clearing, occasionally stopping to pull up a small weed or plant.  
For a moment he was too dumbfounded to even speak, but he eventually found his voice.  
“What are you doing?”  
Aubrey glanced up at him briefly before she continued scanning the ground. She just needed to find one more…  
“I’m guessing you don’t want to start a family any time soon?”  
Levi froze, alarms sounding in every part of his body. Of course he knew how children came to be, but in the moment he’d forgotten about any and all consequences.  
A quick glance told Aubrey everything she needed to know. “That’s what I thought.”  
Aubrey finally found the plant she’d been looking for, plucking it from the soil and stuffing it into the pocket of her coat.  
Levi still hadn’t moved and Aubrey was starting to think that maybe he’d stopped breathing.  
She walked back over to him, placing a hand on his cheek.  
“Calm down. Luckily for us, I have a way of making sure we don’t… receive any unwanted guests.”  
Aubrey grabbed his hand, locking her fingers with his and urged him to start moving again. With a few light tugs, she eventually got him to stagger forward.  
After they’d made their way back to the path, Levi finally seemed to have digested her words. He broke the silence with an expected question.  
“How?”  
Aubrey shot him a nervous look and pulled her mixture of plants out of her pocket.  
“These.”  
Levi looked just as confused as before and Aubrey hurried to explain.  
“If I blend them correctly and ingest them, they’ll prevent anything from… growing.”  
Aubrey felt an oddly-timed heat rise to her cheeks. Being with him was one thing but the idea of having a child with him was something that her brain couldn’t seem to comprehend.  
“Will it hurt you?”  
Aubrey met his gaze and saw the genuine concern in his eyes. She shook her head.  
“No. It’ll taste horrible and I might get a stomach ache, but my body should get used to it over time.”  
Over time.  
Aubrey felt the blood in her cheeks again.  
Levi didn’t really seem to notice, or at least be affected by, her inference and he simply gave her hand a comforting squeeze.  
“How do you know this?”  
Aubrey felt the blush on her cheeks disappear as she paled. She’d been hoping he wouldn’t ask that question.  
She cleared her throat and tried to sound casual but she knew the strain in her voice was obvious.  
“My father taught me.”  
Levi came to a dead stop.  
“Why?” He couldn’t imagine a situation in which a father would have to tell his young daughter how to handle such situations.  
Aubrey scoffed, seeing the horror on Levi’s features.  
“My father was a very blunt man. He sat me down and told me everything, including how to prevent children, on my seventh birthday. It was definitely my least favorite present that year but I’ve never forgotten it, I guess.”  
Aubrey’s tone was dry and bitterness dripped from her lips.  
Levi could sense the stiffness in her muscles and the tension in the air. He searched for a way to change the topic.  
“When is your birthday?” His voice was so monotone it almost wasn’t a question.  
Aubrey stared at him for a moment before a soft laugh escaped her. She was beginning to realize that he just wasn’t all that good at these kinds of conversations. It didn’t really bother her. She knew he was trying.  
“October 30th. Yours?”  
“December 25th.”  
Aubrey nodded, filing the information away for when she’d need it. She had a feeling Levi wasn’t a big fan of gifts, but he’d be getting some regardless.  
Assuming they were both still alive.  
Aubrey felt the cold truth of the expedition settle on her. It was a weight she knew she’d have to bear for a long time. Even if they made it through this expedition, there would always be the next one, and the next one, and the next one…  
The rest of their walk was silent and their steps eventually slowed as they neared Aubrey’s door. There were still no soldiers in sight but it wouldn’t be long until some began trickling into the mess hall.  
Every inch of her body protested as Aubrey turned to say goodbye. Being separated from Levi for even just the short time it would take her to get ready seemed too long. Her lungs shuddered as she looked up at him, seeing a similar expression on his face.  
“Do you want me to stay?”  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed at the suggestion.  
“What? No. You have to get ready, too. Go.”  
Levi shook his head.  
“I should at least stay until you’ve eaten those damn plants.”  
Aubrey chuckled.  
“I’m not going to eat them. I’m going to make them into a tea at breakfast. You’ll be with me.”  
Levi sighed, dipping his head until his forehead met hers. Truthfully, he wanted to make up excuse after excuse until he convinced Aubrey that he should stay. But he knew she was right. He had to go.  
Levi lifted her jaw so that their lips could meet. He kissed her until she ran out of air and then gave her one last looked before he turned his back.  
Aubrey stared after him for a moment but realized that watching him go would only make it harder.  
With a great deal of effort, she forced her feet to move until she stepped into her room.  
Once the lock clicked into place, she immediately got to work. The sooner she got ready, the sooner she’d see Levi again.  
She grabbed a change of clothes and rushed to the showers. The water was warm and comforting and did a great deal to soothe the soreness in her legs. Thank god for that.  
When she stepped out, she threw on her uniform more quickly than she ever had before and brushed her teeth with a bit too much force. She swiftly made her way back to her room, noticing that some girls had woken and started the day. All of them wore hopeless expressions.  
Back in her room, Aubrey yanked a comb through her hair and pulled it back. It took her a few minutes to do up the straps and buckles of her 3DMG but she got through it eventually.  
Finally, she slipped on her boots and took a look in her small mirror. Her face looked weary and somewhat sad, not all that different from the girls in the halls. But Aubrey leaned closer as she noticed one distinct difference in her features. Sure enough, the purple bags under her eyes had lessened noticeably. She looked… normal. With Levi beside her, not even a glimmer of a nightmare had disrupted her sleep and she’d actually rested well. He really was her cure.  
Aubrey sighed and leaned back. She’d looked long enough. It was time to leave.  
Aubrey found her winter coat and rummaged through the pockets, taking out the plants she’d collected. She examined them one more time, making sure that she had all of the necessary ingredients. Satisfied, she stuffed them into the pocket of her uniform jacket.  
There was just one last thing…  
Aubrey went to her dresser, yanking open the top drawer and rummaging around until her fingers hit the cold stone in the back corner. She pulled the rock out gently, her mind flashing back to the day Tika had given it to her. She’d never left the walls without it.  
Aubrey placed the token in her empty pocket and, with a last glance around the room, made her way to the door.  
_______________________  
Aubrey’s steps quickened the closer she got to the mess hall. Even the short while she’d been away from Levi had been enough to leave a deep ache in her chest. She didn’t allow herself to think about what that separation would feel like during the expedition.  
Rounding the corner, Aubrey finally stepped through the entrance to the mess hall. Her eyes scanned quickly, hesitating for a split second when she saw Erwin and then continuing until her gaze locked with Levi’s.  
Without a second thought, her feet moved toward him. She was desperate to be near him and she wasn’t willing to lose even one second.  
When she reached the table, she seated herself directly next to him, not bothering with any kind of “friendly space” between them. Her thigh pressed against his beneath the table and their torsos were just a few inches apart.  
For a moment, all Aubrey could do was stare at him. He faced straight ahead, looking rather bored. Aubrey felt the confusion rising. Why wasn’t he looking at her?  
Just as she was about to speak up, Levi’s hand slid over her thigh beneath the table. Out of the corner of his eye he looked from her, to Isabel, and back again.  
Aubrey understood immediately. Isabel certainly wouldn’t know about their night-time trip and it seemed that Levi wasn’t keen on her finding out about it in the middle of the mess hall. Aubrey glanced at Furlan and saw him suppressing a smile. He knew, no doubt about it.  
Aubrey sighed. She hadn’t really thought about the fact that Levi wouldn’t like any kind of public affection. That would be tricky. She was rather keen on showing people she loved them whenever she could, no matter who was around.  
But in this case, she had to agree with Levi’s judgement. Isabel would freak out and make a fuss. It was the last thing they needed. Plus, desperate kisses didn’t necessarily fit the early-morning breakfast mood. If Aubrey gave in to every desire she had, the whole room would be staring. And that was a bit much, even for her.  
“Here. Eat.”  
Aubrey looked down to see a steaming tray of food in front of her. She was surprised to see meat and fruit in place of the usual oatmeal. She’d forgotten that pre-expedition meals were always a bit more decadent. After all, it would be a last meal for some.  
A thump sounded on her right and Aubrey turned to see Levi placing a cup of hot water in front of her. Aubrey knew instantly what it was for and she reached into her pocket, placing the plants on the table in front of her.  
A reassuring squeeze of her thigh pushed her to start the process she’d learned so long ago. Carefully, Aubrey removed the petals of the white flower that had reminded her of the recipe in the first place. She placed exactly three of them into the water.  
“What are you doing?” Isabel had taken notice of her plants and hadn’t hesitated to use her signature, blunt tone.  
“None of your damn business.” Levi answered before Aubrey could even open her mouth. He’d been overly harsh and Isabel was looking more than a little offended.  
“Geez, it was just a question. Someone’s in a bad mood.”  
This time Aubrey beat Levi to the punch and spoke before he could make the situation worse.  
“No, it’s fine. I’m just a little nervous this morning. This tea helps me relax.”  
The lie rolled off Aubrey’s tongue easily and she plucked a weed from her pile, snapping it in half and sticking the stem in the water.  
“Oh, alright. See, that wasn’t so horrible of me to ask, was it Big Bro?”  
“Tch.”  
Levi ignored her and turned his attention to the cup of water, watching as Aubrey continued to fill it with various different herbs he couldn’t recognize.  
Finally, Aubrey placed the final ingredient in the water and stirred it with her pinky finger. It looked anything but appetizing.  
An anxious glance at Levi resulted in a soothing stroke down her thigh. Aubrey reached beneath the table, finding Levi’s hand and gripping it tightly.  
After taking a deep breath, Aubrey brought the cup to her lips and took as large of a gulp as she could. It was rancid.  
It took everything she had to swallow instead of spit and she squeezed Levi’s hand even tighter. Aubrey looked into the cup. She still had four or five gulps to go. A groan almost escaped her but she held it in. Drinking the dumb tea was much easier than the other option.  
Aubrey managed to drink the rest within the span of the next few minutes and she pushed the cup away as soon as it was done.  
Levi’s thumb rubbed her palm beneath the table and Aubrey took a deep breath. It was over and done with.  
Aubrey glanced up to see Isabel staring again.  
“Ya know, that tea seemed to stress you out even more. I think you might need a new recipe.”  
“Shut. Up.” Levi’s eyes were practically glowing with rage and Aubrey tugged on his arm. If he didn’t want people to know, he was the one being obvious and the not-so-suppressed grin on Furlan’s face was enough to prove it.  
Aubrey plastered a false smile on her face. “You’re probably right. Maybe I picked the wrong plants or something.”  
Isabel took the answer at face value and returned to her tray. Aubrey slapped Levi’s wrist beneath the table and nudged his leg with hers. He needed to calm down.  
Levi shot her annoyed look but only used his elbow to push her tray further toward her.  
“Eat.”  
After sending him another loaded glance, Aubrey followed his instruction. As soon as the first bite of fruit passed her lips, she realized just how hungry she was. The events of the night and morning were catching up to her.  
Aubrey took bite after bite but forced herself not to rush. She only got this kind of food once in a blue moon and she wanted to savor it.  
When she’d finished everything on the tray, Aubrey pushed it away gently, sad that it was empty.  
Without the food to focus on, her thoughts wandered back to the thing that every soldier had on their mind. Aubrey clutched Levi’s hand beneath the table. The threat of the expedition was growing larger with every passing second and the panic was rising in her stomach. Without Levi’s closeness, Aubrey felt like she’d simply float away.  
Levi must have sensed the tension in her muscles because his hand returned to her thigh, gently running up and down.  
Aubrey shot him a thankful glance and then turned her eyes away to scan the rest of the room.  
People were still talking but there were no sounds of laughter in the air. Every conversation seemed dull and commonplace. It was hard to laugh with death waiting around the corner.  
Aubrey allowed her eyes to creep over to Erwin. Hange was next to him and it looked like they were going over last-minute paperwork, probably formation alterations.  
Aubrey found herself surprised by the way Hange had managed to wriggle herself into Erwin’s inner circle. Her talent for “research” had certainly played a large part but she also just had a hard time taking “no” for an answer.  
Without warning, Erwin’s eyes flashed to Aubrey’s and she felt a jolt go through her. Erwin only lingered on her for a second and then his eyes shifted to the person next to her. Levi’s hand stilled on her thigh and Aubrey could tell there was some kind of silent communication happening. A glance at his face revealed a combination of fury and anticipation that sent a chill down Aubrey’s spine. She may have put their quarrel aside last night but now it scared her. All she could do was hope that both of them returned alive.  
Erwin’s eyes left Levi’s, returning to the paper Hange was gesturing at. Aubrey felt Levi relax at her side but the calm didn’t last long.  
Erwin stood from his table and Aubrey held her breath. She knew what was coming. The order to move out.  
“I hope everyone slept well. Please finish up your meals and head to the stables. We’re at the gate in an hour.”  
Aubrey felt a lump form in her throat and she gripped Levi’s forearm so tightly that she was sure she was hurting him. If she was, he didn’t say anything.  
Aubrey looked across the table at Isabel and Furlan. Their faces were serious but didn’t show any kind of doubt. They were ready.  
Ever so slowly, soldiers began to rise from their seats. Few conversations continued and most of what could be heard was the shuffle of feet on the cold floors.  
Every bone in her body protested but Aubrey somehow managed to stand, letting Levi’s arm slip out of her hands.  
The second their skin was no longer touching, Aubrey felt a pang of desperation. She couldn’t do this. It was too much. She’d go to Erwin, convince him that the recruits weren’t ready, that they should stay behind. He’d fight her on it but she could do it, she was sure she could do it. He hardly ever denied her anything. Surely he would see how important this was to her.  
Levi watched as Aubrey began to hyperventilate. He had to do something before she went over the edge.  
Being as discreet as he could, he leaned down to whisper in her ear.  
“Calm down, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey’s breaths hitched and she did her best to do as Levi said. She needed to calm down. She had no right to deny Levi a trip outside the walls. That was his choice. How would she feel if he tried to prevent her from going?  
Levi moved closer to her, and she focused on the heat coming off his body. Her breathing began to slow.  
In and out. In and out. In and out.  
Furlan seemed to have taken notice of their interaction but Isabel still looked oblivious.  
Isabel stretched as she stood and turned toward the exit. She started making her way out of the room and Furlan followed behind her.  
Levi placed a hand on Aubrey’s lower back, giving her a light push. Her feet started to move forward, though she didn’t remember deciding to walk. Nothing seemed real and everything around her was blurry and out of focus.  
Levi stayed close to her. Their arms brushed as they walked and it was only that small bit of contact that kept Aubrey going.  
As they moved, Aubrey worked hard to quiet her mind. Every step was methodical and she forced herself to focus on the motion.  
Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe.  
It seemed to be working because as they finally neared the stables, Aubrey felt as though she could start to think rationally. Her breathing had returned to normal and some of the panic had dissipated.  
She looked up at the looming building that housed the horses. It was huge and completely made of a dark wood that contrasted against the particularly bright morning sky.  
Aubrey swallowed as she took a step away from Levi. Their horses were housed in completely different areas and she would have to leave him again.  
“I’ll find you before we move out.” Aubrey reached out giving his hand a gentle squeeze that she was fairly sure no one saw.  
Levi nodded and walked ahead to join Isabel and Furlan.  
Aubrey didn’t dare to watch his back and so she immediately turned into the stables, picking up her pace as she raced to find her horse.  
When she arrived at her destination, Aubrey gently undid the gate, careful not to scare the animal inside.  
Aubrey’s horse was a beautiful brown mare with white splotches all over her back. She’d been with Aubrey on every expedition outside the walls, including her first, but Aubrey hadn’t decided on a name for her until just a couple of months ago.  
“Hey, Lex.”  
The name was short for Alexandra. Aubrey had named her after her mother.  
“Ready for a big day?”  
Lex huffed and Aubrey reached out to stroke her head. A saddle hung on the wall and Aubrey didn’t wait long before she had slipped it onto Lex’s back.  
It took her awhile but eventually Aubrey had Lex ready to go. She gave the horse one more comforting pat on the neck and then moved to grab the reins.  
Aubrey led her through the building and out into the open. Her eyes scanned for her squad and she found Chris standing next to Captain Saru in the center of the field.  
Aubrey made her way over to them and came to a stop next to Chris. The girl looked tense but not particularly nervous.  
“Hi.” Chris’s voice was as shy as ever.  
Aubrey gave her a sad smile. “Hi.”  
“Did you sleep well?”  
Aubrey nodded. “Yes, actually.”  
Chris shot her a surprised glance. “Oh, good.”  
Aubrey laughed humorlessly. “You?”  
Chris shook her head. “Not really, but I didn’t expect to.”  
Aubrey fell silent. That was the answer that almost every soldier would give, were they asked.  
After a moment, Aubrey searched the field for a trio of familiar faces. At first, she couldn’t find them and her heat began to beat faster, anxious that she wouldn’t have time to say a final goodbye. But just as she was beginning to panic, Aubrey saw a flash of red hair and her eyes locked onto Isabel. Levi and Furlan were next to her, as per usual.  
Aubrey turned back to Chris. “Hey, would mind holding Lex for a few minutes?”  
Chris nodded, and took the reigns from Aubrey’s hands. Aubrey was momentarily thankful that she didn’t ask any questions.  
Aubrey looked back to Levi but forced her eyes away. Before she went to him, she had to go to somebody else.  
Erwin stood at the front of the formation, looking every bit the Commander he was.  
Aubrey moved toward him, her steps quick but quiet.  
Erwin saw her coming long before she reached him and when she finally came to a halt, he gave her an expectant smile.  
“Hello.”  
Just the sound of Erwin’s voice was enough to make Aubrey’s muscles relax ever-so-slightly. He had such a calming effect on her. He was her rock.  
“Hello.”  
“How are you this morning?”  
Aubrey frowned. She wasn’t here for small talk. “Erwin.”  
The smile disappeared from Erwin’s face as sensed the tone of their conversation. When Aubrey turned serious, he knew to pay attention.  
“Erwin… please, be careful.”  
He sighed. He knew Aubrey worried about him and he also knew that nothing he could say would put her at ease. She nagged him every time they left the protection of the walls.  
“I always am, Aubrey. But you should focus on yourself. Make sure you listen to Saru.”  
Aubrey stepped closer and took his hand in hers. She squeezed tightly, hoping to somehow transmit her feelings. She needed him to stay alive.  
Erwin stared down at her, his eyes hard and his mouth pressed into a straight line. For once, he was at a loss for words.  
Aubrey spoke up again. She had one more thing to say before she left him.  
“And, Erwin… your battle with Levi… just… make sure you both come back to me alive. If you both stay alive, I can handle anything.”  
Erwin stayed silent. He knew he couldn’t make any promises. But he could do his best to be a good friend. He wrapped both hands around Aubrey’s and squeezed. He would try.  
Aubrey felt tears forming in her eyes and she knew she had to end their conversation quickly. Otherwise, she’d end up hyperventilating again.  
Aubrey stepped even closer to him and tugged on his collar. Erwin understood immediately and leaned down, his face just inches from hers.  
Aubrey placed a light kiss on his cheek and then wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.  
Erwin returned her embrace, aware that she needed him in that moment. Aubrey held onto him tightly and tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over.  
Aubrey swallowed the lump in her throat and whispered.  
“Be careful, Erwin.”  
With that, she turned and walked away, not daring to look back at her Commander. She knew that if she did, she’d break.  
Aubrey took deep breaths as she walked away, her steps slow as she tried to gather herself enough to get through her next goodbyes.  
When she felt ready, her eyes focused once again on Isabel’s red hair. Cautious steps brought her closer and she focused on keeping her breaths steady. This was the moment she’d been dreading for weeks. It would take every bit of her strength to get through it.  
The three of them were waiting for her when she reached them, their faces dark and solemn.  
Aubrey approached Isabel first, not hesitating to wrap her in a hug. She grasped her tightly, holding on for dear life. The tears sprang back but Aubrey pushed them down. She couldn’t cry. She wouldn’t cry.  
“Don’t be reckless, stick together, and listen to Flagon. I know he’s an asshole but you have to work as a team.”  
Aubrey felt Isabel’s chest stagger as she laughed.  
“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Try not to worry about us. We can handle ourselves.”  
Aubrey pulled back, hoping with every fiber of her being that what Isabel said was true.  
After placing a final touch on Isabel's cheek, Aubrey turned to Furlan.  
His arms extended for the hug before she even got close to him.  
Aubrey held him close, her heart pounding in her chest.  
“Keep these two in line, alright? They have a tendency to be dumb sometimes.”  
Aubrey heard a “hey!” from Isabel and a “tch” from Levi but she didn’t acknowledge them.  
Furlan chuckled. “I’ll do my best. Good luck, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey gave him a sad smile and shifted away, turning to face the only person left on her list.  
Aubrey approached Levi slowly. She already felt the ache to touch him and she was pretty sure he wouldn’t be a fan. Not only was Isabel right next to them, but the entire field was nearly full of soldiers taking their places.  
“I, um, have something for you.”  
Levi arched a brow.  
“Well, actually it’s for all of you, but honestly, I trust you the most not to lose it.”  
Another “hey!” from Isabel and a small laugh from Furlan sounded from behind her as Aubrey reached into her pocket. Carefully, she pulled out the small stone that Tika had given her so long ago. It was one of the few memories of her that Aubrey could bear to think of.  
“This was given to me by a very dear friend of mine. It’s supposed to be a good luck charm and… well, it’s worked for me so far.”  
Levi crossed his arms over his chest.  
“Tch. I don’t need your stupid rock. Keep it for yourself.”  
Aubrey felt a surge of annoyance go through her and she suddenly felt emboldened. She reached for Levi’s collar, yanking him closer. Before he could stop her, Aubrey slid the charm into his chest pocket, right over his heart.  
“Too bad.”  
Levi stared down at her, a fire burning in his eyes. But it wasn’t a fire of anger or irritation… it was one of passion and yearning.  
Aubrey felt her own body burning and suddenly she didn’t care who saw or even if Levi would be upset.  
In an instant her hands shot up, one tangling in his hair and one wrapping around his neck as she pulled his lips to hers.  
She kissed him deeply, putting all of the pain and pleasure of the last day into the embrace. At first, he had no reaction and Aubrey wondered if she’d end up kissing a post. But after a few seconds, he seemed to throw all reservations out the window.  
One of his hands found her waist, the other cupping her cheek. Their lips moved together for a moment before Aubrey broke away. She didn’t want to get too passionate. She still had some sense of public decency.  
Aubrey clasped her arms around his neck as her lips came to his ear.  
“I love you.”  
Levi held her tighter and pressed his lips against her shoulder. Aubrey didn’t need him to say the words aloud. She knew he felt the same.  
She pulled away ever so slightly, pressing her forehead to his.  
“And, Levi…”  
“Hm?”  
“Don’t die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiyo! So, this was a really long chapter, but I don’t think any of you will mind lol. Also, I am well aware that tea is not an effective form of family planning but that’s what we’re rolling with for the sake of the story. But we got a little bit of title recognition at the end there! When I tell you that I’ve been waiting all 125,000 words of this story to write that line… I mean it. Anyway, I think we all know that this story is going to get a little extra angsty in the next couple of chapters so brace yourselves. And I’d like to do a little character check??? Is Levi still in character? I’ve purposefully written him with the trope of “I only have a soft spot for one person”. I feel like it’s not too far off for him… and I think it’s a cute trope. BUT, if it’s too much, let me know in the comments. I enjoy writing him that way but, as I’ve said before, the last thing I want is for Levi to be out of character. Finally, I’d just like to thank everyone for the supportive comments! I legit almost cry when I read them and every single comment is appreciated. I Love y’all.


	33. Chapter 33

Aubrey focused on her breathing again as her horse moved beneath her. They were dangerously close to the gate now, and it was taking everything she had not to scream. Her hands were gripping the reins so tightly that her knuckles had gone white and her fingers were starting to cramp.  
Chris had been shooting her concerned glances ever since they left the field but Aubrey had yet to find the strength to tell her she was alright. She was afraid to open her mouth for fear of what might come out.  
But Chris wasn’t the only one staring. Soldiers she barely knew had been “subtly” looking at her since the moment her lips hit Levi’s. Their kiss had, in fact, drawn some attention, but only because Isabel had, sure enough, freaked out. She’d been frozen in shock for a while but as soon as Aubrey had started to walk away, she’d heard the laughs and hoots filling the air followed by multiple “shut ups” from Levi.  
“You kissed her! You kissed her!”  
Aubrey cringed even now as she thought about what Levi’s face must have looked like. He’d probably looked angry enough to kill. Good thing Furlan was there.  
But Isabel had already said it and there was no taking it back. Countless eyes found the three of them, distracted by the noise, and then found Aubrey as she walked away from the group.  
There were a few murmurs but mostly just stares.  
When she finally made it back to her squad, Aubrey took Lex’s reins from Chris and pretended not to care that everyone was looking. The rest of the Special Ops squad had gathered and Aubrey had to ignore a few teasing jabs from Leo and Jacob. She wasn’t in the mood for banter.  
Her 3DMG was on in a few minutes and once she was on her horse, she’d been enveloped in her own world.  
Forced deep breaths and white knuckles made up the rest of her trip to the gate.  
But now they’d arrived and Aubrey stared ahead. The gate looked even more daunting than usual and her eyes searched automatically for her Commander.  
Erwin was at the front of the formation. His position was more of a formality. He’d lead the regiment out and then fall back to the middle where he could give the best instruction. That was one small comfort. Erwin’s title put him in one of the safest spots. It wasn’t much, but it helped Aubrey to breathe a little easier.  
The sudden clanking of chains made her jump in her saddle. The gate was rising.  
Aubrey scanned the crowd, hoping for a last look at Levi but there were too many soldiers crammed too close together. There was no way she’d be able to find him.  
Her chest tightened as she looked forward again. The gate was halfway up and it would only be a few more seconds before Erwin gave the order to move out.  
Aubrey braced herself, sinking into her saddle and giving Lex a reassuring pat. This was it.  
Finally, a clank sounded and the gate halted as it reached its peak.  
Aubrey could see the outside through the opening and for a split second she felt the excitement and anticipation that always grasped her before she was out in the open. No walls to hold her back.  
The excitement disappeared and Aubrey looked to see Erwin raising one blade in the air.  
“Forward!”  
The deafening sound of hooves on stone filled the air and Aubrey watched as Erwin led the regiment beyond the safety of the walls.  
In a matter of seconds, she was free. The horizon went on forever, endlessly expanding until it met with the sky.  
“Okay, push ahead!” Captain Saru’s voice barely traveled over the wind but Aubrey heard her, urging Lex to move faster. As part of the Special Operations Squad, her job was to head to the front of the formation, taking out as many titans as possible. Hopefully, their efforts would save those less skilled.  
Aubrey looked to her left. Erwin’s squad was riding about 20 meters from them, allowing others to pull ahead. The distance made her unable to read his expression but he was alive. Aubrey would do her best to make sure he stayed that way.  
Saru pushed their group even faster until Erwin had completely faded from view. Aubrey forced herself to face forward.  
After what could have been seconds, minutes, or hours, they fell into their proper place in the formation.  
So far, there were no titans in sight but that wasn’t unusual. All of the titans around the gate had been taken out before they’d begun the expedition. But Aubrey knew it wouldn’t be much longer. As the front of the formation, they would probably be the first to find the enemy.  
A few minutes passed and the tension was palpable. Everyone’s eyes were scanning desperately for any signs of danger. Time seemed to loop endlessly as the scenery repeated itself over and over again. Grass, trees, sky. It was all so… endless.  
Finally, Chris’s voice rang out, a note of anxiety in her words.  
“Captain! Ten o’clock!”  
Everyone looked to see the 8 meter titan lumbering toward them. There didn’t seem to be anything unusual about it. Saru reached into her bag, sending up the signal that they’d made contact.  
“Chris, Aubrey, you two take it down. Aubrey, take the kill, Chris, take the assist.”  
Both of them nodded and veered their horses to the left, breaking away from the group.  
There weren’t any trees to latch onto but Aubrey had no doubt they could handle it.  
She stared up at the titan as it came closer and felt her stomach churn. It was smiling.  
Chris shot off her horse, her gear hitting the beast in the legs as she swung around to slice the back of its ankles.  
Aubrey followed closely behind, cutting open the titan’s neck as it fell forward.  
Dead and done.  
Aubrey whistled and both horses came trotting back.  
Chris shot her a determined glance and both of them climbed back into their saddles. It didn’t take long until they’d caught up with the rest of the group.  
“Nice job. Don’t let your guard down.” Saru barely took a moment to look at them before she was back to scanning the horizon.  
They carried on that way for some time. A titan would appear, Saru would send a team to take care of it, and then they’d all join up again and await the next threat.  
Aubrey didn’t know how much time had passed when the first unexpected flare burst in the air.  
Everyone’s eyes snapped to the left. A red streak blazed through the sky. There’d been an attack from the left side.  
Aubrey felt her blood run cold. Levi was on the left.  
Her mind moved a million miles a minute as she tried to process. Her anxiety must have shown because just a few seconds later, a small voice spoke over the wind.  
“They’ll be okay, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey’s head jerked back to face Chris. Her friend had a resolute look on her face and Aubrey felt herself relax ever so slightly. She couldn’t expect them to not run into a titan at all. And Levi was skilled. Surely, he’d be capable of taking it down easily.  
Aubrey shook her head, trying to rid her mind of any intrusive thoughts. She still had a job of her own to do.  
Another titan appeared on the horizon and Saru sent Lena and Jacob to take care of it. They swiftly brought it down and Aubrey breathed a sigh of relief when they returned to the group.  
Things continued on and Aubrey actually began to feel hopeful about the state of the expedition. Nothing had gone seriously wrong yet. There hadn’t even been an abnormal sighted.  
As soon as the thought entered her mind, Aubrey saw the trail of black smoke on her left.  
The left.  
Shit, why did it have to be the left?  
Aubrey looked again to Chris for support but before her friend could even open her mouth, another flare shot into the air.  
Purple.  
Aubrey could hardly believe what she was seeing. Purple was the flare used for emergencies. Somewhere, a squad was being massacred... and it could be Levi’s.  
The panic bubbled up so quickly that Aubrey couldn’t even hold in the desperate cry that escaped her lips.  
“Oi, Aubrey, calm down. Wait for Erwin’s instructions.”  
Aubrey barely even heard Saru’s voice. Her mind was already racing, dozens of horrifying images flashing through her head until just a single thought consumed her entire being. 

She’d been too late once. She wasn’t going to let it happen a second time. 

Without warning, Aubrey veered to the left, her feet digging into Lex’s sides, pushing the horse to move faster.  
“Hey! Daremo! Get your ass back here!”  
Aubrey ignored the command, even as Saru continued to yell her name mixed with some colorful profanities. She didn’t care anymore.  
More flares shot up as Aubrey rode, though she didn’t even bother to look at them. Her eyes were fixed on the now dissipating purple smoke that marked her destination.  
She pushed Lex even harder, hearing the horse pant uncontrollably. But she just couldn’t seem to move fast enough. She needed to be there now. Why did the damn formation have to be so wide?  
Aubrey’s breath came faster as she grew closer. Logically, she knew that she was probably too late. If a titan horde had come through when the flare was first fired, there was very little possibility that anyone was still alive.  
But she wasn’t thinking logically. Aubrey was determined to save them, no matter whose squad it was.  
Finally, something appeared in the distance. A small mound on the ground, followed by another, and another. Aubrey screamed as she realized what she was seeing.  
Bodies.  
Aubrey recognized all of them. Soldiers she’d spoken with, trained with, who had been alive just hours earlier.  
Bile rose in her throat and she just barely managed to stay on her horse. She’d seen death before but these bodies led directly to where she was headed. A perfect trail to the massacre she would no doubt find.  
Aubrey rode further, feeling like her head was about to explode. She couldn’t even begin to brace herself before another blurry image appeared on the horizon. She recognized a titan body laying on the grass. It was easily identifiable with the huge amounts of steam it was emitting. But there was something more.  
Aubrey squinted and thought she could make out people on horseback. Living people.  
A surge of hope rushed through her. Maybe there had been survivors after all.  
Aubrey drew close enough for the others to notice the pounding of Lex’s hooves. They turned to face her and Aubrey nearly gasped when she saw a streak of familiar blonde hair. Erwin.  
Why was he here?  
Aubrey cursed herself for not paying attention to the earlier flares. She had no idea what was going on or if the formation was still in place. For all she knew, the expedition could have fallen apart entirely.  
Finally, she was just twenty meters from them. Things were becoming clearer. Sure enough, Erwin was there, his face dangerously serious. Aubrey recognized the other members of his squad beside him.  
But there was another piece to the picture. More bodies. Aubrey could see them lying motionlessly along the ground but she was still too far to make out their faces.  
Every nerve in her body tingled as she waited for her eyes to catch up to her mind.  
Who were they? Who had she lost?  
Aubrey screamed.  
She yanked hard on Lex’s reins and the horse neighed loudly, coming to a staggering halt. Aubrey practically fell out of the saddle and landed on her knees. She ignored the pain of the impact and crawled across the ground, hardly noticing the pools of blood that stained her pants.  
Desperate cries left her mouth but Aubrey could barely even realize that the noises were coming from her. The horror of what she saw was all-consuming.  
Isabel’s severed head lay on the ground before her. Her eyes were lifeless and blood covered her face. Her friend was dead.  
Aubrey felt her mind go blank. Her ears were ringing and her eyes struggled to focus as she looked around.  
Flagon lay not too far away, his features stuck in a permanent state of horror.  
Kate was beside him, her lower half entirely missing.  
And Furlan… Aubrey had to look away.  
Levi was nowhere to be seen but Aubrey knew… he’d been killed, too. There was no way he could have survived such a bloodbath.  
The world spun as Aubrey realized that her worst fears had come true. She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to think. She’d lost everything… again. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to recover this time.  
Suddenly, she remembered Erwin. He was so close and so… alive. She needed him now, needed to hear the heartbeat of the only person she had left.  
Aubrey looked up to see that he was already headed toward her, his strides long and determined.  
Aubrey reached for him, clawing at his shirt as he leaned down. She went to push her head into his chest, a sob forming in her throat.  
Erwin’s hand pushed her back, preventing her from getting too close. Aubrey stared up at him, her cries silenced by her shock. How could he deny her? How could he deny her right now?  
“Aubrey.” Erwin’s voice was quiet but strong. He commanded her attention even at a time like this. “I need you to be strong. Stop crying. He’s waiting for you.”  
Aubrey couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. Be strong? Stop crying? He?  
Erwin saw that his message hadn’t gotten through and he repeated himself.  
“He’s waiting for you, Aubrey.”  
She froze. He. Was Erwin talking about… Levi?  
He was… alive?  
For a moment, Aubrey couldn’t move. It was all too much. Both her mind and body were overloaded.  
She staggered backward, a hand going into the dirt to keep her from hitting the ground.  
Aubrey winced. She’d hit something hard.  
Her fingers clasped around whatever it was and she brought the object to her face. She nearly screamed again when she saw what she was holding.  
A beautiful, golden necklace shined in her hands. A diamond and moon duo that Aubrey recognized immediately. It was Isabel’s necklace.  
The piece was caked with blood but Aubrey couldn’t tell whose it was. For all she knew, it could be her own. It looked as if she’d scraped her hands at some point. Maybe when she’d fallen from her horse.  
Erwin grasped her arm and Aubrey raised her eyes to his. His expression was hard and yet something in his face gave her the strength to take a deep breath. She’d lost so much… but someone still needed her. And he was waiting.  
Erwin saw the resolve in her eyes and stood, pulling Aubrey up with him. Her legs were weak and she could barely support herself. Erwin held her steady until she could brace herself... and then they were moving forward.  
Aubrey wasn’t necessarily walking, more like lurching at first, but her steps evened out the further they walked. She needed to be strong, just as Erwin had said. If she was going to face Levi, she’d have to do it with resolve. Otherwise she’d only make things worse.  
Aubrey paused, letting Erwin go. He gave her a nod and it was the last encouragement she needed before she broke through the line of people that separated her from the man she loved.  
When Aubrey saw him she inhaled sharply. He looked… broken.  
He sat on the ground, hunched over. His bangs covered his eyes but Aubrey could still see the silent tears on his cheeks. She couldn’t tell how much of the blood on him was his own… or his friends’.  
She looked at the monster behind him. It was sliced to shreds.  
Aubrey didn’t know where to start. Her mind couldn’t think of a single thing to say and she wasn’t sure if he wanted to be touched. He… scared her.  
Despite her lack of a plan, Aubrey moved forward, falling to her knees before him. Neither of them spoke.  
Aubrey felt the weight of Isabel’s necklace grow heavy in her hands. Suddenly, she knew what to do.  
She reached for Levi’s wrist. He was still clutching his blades but they fell from his hands at her touch. Aubrey dragged his open palm into her lap, dropping the necklace gently onto his skin.  
At first, he didn’t move and she couldn’t sense any reaction from him at all. They sat there, seconds slipping by as they both stared at the bloody jewels in his hand.  
Finally, Levi’s fingers curled around the necklace. Aubrey could see his nails digging into the skin of his palm as he gripped tightly.  
Without warning, Levi’s head shot up, his eyes meeting hers with a cold intensity.  
Aubrey nearly leaned away. He’d never looked at her with such… pain.  
But what Levi did next scared her even more.  
“Leave.”  
Aubrey felt every muscle in her body tense. She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard.  
“What?”  
Levi practically growled at her.  
“You heard me. Get away. You don’t want to be near me.”  
Aubrey felt a piece of her heart breaking. She felt like she’d been shot.  
“I-I don’t underst-”  
“Ask your damn Commander.”  
Aubrey's eyes widened. What did Erwin have to do with this? A glance back at her friend revealed that he knew exactly what Levi was talking about.  
Aubrey turned back to Levi, pieces clicking into place. This was about their secret battle. She couldn’t help but feel a small surge of shock. She didn’t care. Their friends' bodies were cooling just feet away from them and Levi wanted to talk about Erwin. What was wrong with him?  
“You shouldn’t have stopped me last night. You should have let me tell you.” Levi’s voice had dropped low, his tone shifting from anger to desperation.  
Aubrey stared back at him, reminding herself to be strong.  
“Tell me now.”  
Levi took a shuddering breath and Aubrey felt her chest ache. Seeing him like this was breaking her.  
“I came here to kill him.”  
Aubrey froze.  
Kill Erwin?  
Why?  
Pain seeped through her body. Her mind flashed back to all of the conversations she’d shared with Erwin over the last weeks. He’d known Levi disliked him beyond just a grudge. He’d known there was more.  
Her head snapped back to look at him.  
“You knew?”  
Erwin’s silence was all the answer she needed.  
Aubrey went quiet. She didn’t know how to feel. Anger was there, and a sense of betrayal, too. But somehow they were dulled. Maybe it was the numbness beginning to settle over her or maybe it was the double deception confusing her. Either way, Aubrey couldn’t find the will to hate them. After all, they were all she had left.  
Aubrey felt a sudden surge of courage and she pounced on it. She’d need it if she was going to get through the next few minutes.  
Her hand stretched out, wrapping around Levi’s jaw and forcing him to meet her gaze. She stared him down, trying to look as sure and determined as she could. She didn’t feel strong but she at least needed to look it.  
Aubrey took a breath, hoping she would be able to speak without stuttering. “Levi, when I told you I loved you... I meant it.”  
Aubrey felt him tense under her grip. For just a beat, he gazed at her… and then he snapped.  
“I was going to fucking kill him, Aubrey! I was this close to-”  
“And yet he’s still alive, isn’t he.”  
Levi fell silent. He couldn’t believe her indifference. Surely, she wanted him out of her life forever, never wanted to see his face again.  
“Are you going to try again?”  
Aubrey surprised herself with how steady her voice was. Inside, she was beaten, even if she’d gotten her exterior to suggest otherwise.  
Levi closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “No.”  
Aubrey sighed. Her hands raised to hold his face and she pressed her forehead against his. She shuddered at the contact. Even at a time like this, he lit her on fire.  
“Then I can be angry later. Right now…” She paused, taking a shaky breath. “I just need us to go home.”  
Levi shook in her hands. He was completely overwhelmed. There was too much pain, too much hurt. But she still loved him.  
“Please. Let’s go home.”  
Levi struggled to move a single muscle. His entire body felt numb, pressed down by an invisible weight. But Aubrey was waiting. He gathered his strength and nodded.  
After a moment, the two of them rose from the ground, supporting each other as they stood. A few shaky breaths later, Aubrey turned to Erwin, her eyes somber.  
“Call it off, Erwin. We’re going back.”  
She didn’t need to ask twice. Erwin reached into his saddlebag, firing the flare into the air. They were retreating.  
Aubrey searched, finding that her horse had been collected and was waiting for her. It seemed that a horse had been found for Levi, too.  
Careful not to look at the bodies around her, Aubrey headed for Lex, pulling Levi along behind her.  
She made sure Levi made it into his saddle before she seated herself. If she looked closely enough, she could see that he was shaking. She hoped he’d be able to stay on his horse.  
Aubrey closed her eyes, steeling herself. She could barely think but she knew that she had to stay strong. Not for herself, but for Levi. If she broke, so would he. She gave him one last look and caught him staring at the necklace in his hand.  
Aubrey averted her gaze. The pain in his eyes was so intense that she could feel it herself.  
Just a few seconds later, the group moved forward and Aubrey urged Lex ahead, watching as Levi moved out beside her. She kept her eyes on the horizon, hoping to whatever god there was that she’d get him back alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I hope that this chapter didn’t feel rushed. I wanted to fit the whole expedition into one big blob. Also, I wanted to get the deaths done and over with :(((( I cry. The next chapter will be up very soon! I already have it written lol. Just have to edit. Let me know how I did! I think this chapter turned out pretty well but it took me a couple of revisions to get it how I wanted. Next chapter will be just as angsty if not more so. Brace yourselves.  
> Finally, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone leaving comments! I know I say that in like every author’s note but literally every single one of them makes me so happy. And you guys are all so nice! Love y’all. Thanks :)


	34. Chapter 34

WARNING: Okay, so this chapter doesn’t really contain smut but there are still some more mature themes so read at your own risk. Have fun lol. 

Aubrey only loosened her grip on her reins when they passed through the gate and returned to the safety of the walls.  
It was a slow march through the streets with people gasping when they saw the bloodied soldiers and dead bodies. Aubrey tried to ignore them.  
Her eyes would dart to Levi every so often, mostly to make sure he hadn’t fallen off his horse but also to look at his expression. Aubrey had never seen him look so… clouded.  
He wore the same neutral expression he always did but his eyes were dull. There was no… fire. The sight was eerie and Aubrey briefly wondered if she might look the same. She wouldn’t be surprised if she did.  
For the most part, she looked ahead, waiting for the sight of headquarters. She was anxious to get there and get Levi behind closed doors. He was broken and she was going to try her hardest to hold him together until the pieces had no choice but to fuse back. She wouldn’t let him face this alone… not like she had.  
When the castle finally came into view, Aubrey had to prevent herself from grabbing Levi and racing ahead.  
The trot carried on and eventually they arrived at the stables. Aubrey slid out of her saddle and watched as others did the same. Countless sets of boots hit the ground as soldiers trudged into the building.  
Aubrey looked up at Levi to see him frozen on his horse. He was staring straight ahead, not focusing on anything in particular.  
Aubrey made her way over to him, placing her hand on his thigh. “Levi.”  
At the sound of his name, he seemed to return to the present and his head tilted until he met Aubrey’s eyes. She gazed up at him, silently urging him to move.  
He must’ve understood her plea because he swung his leg over his horse, dismounting in one smooth motion.  
Aubrey didn’t hesitate to grab his hand. He was cold to the touch. She had to move faster.  
She shifted Lex’s reins in her fingers and reached for Levi’s horse. As soon as she had a good grip, she headed into the stables.  
She tried to move quickly but she couldn’t exactly run with two horses and a person to guide. After what felt like an eternity, they finally came to Lex’s stall. Aubrey unlatched the gate and led the horses inside. Lex could share for the night.  
Aubrey pulled Levi inside with her. She still had to remove the saddles.  
Her fingers worked quickly and soon she had both of the pieces removed. She hung Lex’s on the wall and set the other in the corner. She quickly removed the bits from both horses’ mouths and then gave Lex a gentle pat. Someone would be by to feed them later.  
Aubrey turned back to Levi, once again taking his hand and leading him away. Now she could get him out of here.  
She pulled him along as they trudged through the field. Levi said nothing as she took a turn that led them down an unfamiliar path.  
Aubrey couldn’t take him back to her room. She needed to get the dirt off him and a communal girls’ bathroom wasn’t the place to do it. Plus, she wasn’t sure she could face Tika’s half. What had happened today reminded her too much of her death.  
Levi’s room wasn’t in the cards either. She’d have to go through the entire barracks to get to it and they’d still have the same problem with the bathroom.  
The pond was a nice idea but they needed real shelter with a fire and a bed.  
Aubrey could think of only one place to go.  
She tugged on Levi a little harder as they rounded the castle and entered through a back door. There were plenty of empty rooms in this damn castle and all of them had large fireplaces and private bathrooms. Plus, the particular branch she was headed to was pretty much unused. No one would bother them.  
The sound of their heels on the stone floor echoed as they made their way down the hall. Aubrey stopped at the very last room and sighed in relief when the knob turned easily. It was unlocked.  
Aubrey pushed the door open gently and guided Levi inside. For the first time since they’d left the stables, she looked at his face. His expression was exactly the same. Detached, cold, and… lifeless.  
As soon as they were both in, Aubrey shut the door behind them, making sure the lock was in place.  
She examined the space, hoping she’d picked a good room.  
There was a fireplace on the right, centered on the stone wall. Across from it was a large bed, neatly made up with plenty of blankets. On the far wall there was a wooden desk that sat just below a large window. Dark curtains hung, blocking most of sunlight that attempted to get through. Another general sweep of the room revealed that it was rather clean and for the first time, Aubrey was grateful that Erwin bothered to keep the whole castle in working order.  
Aubrey led Levi to the bed, sitting him down on the cream colored sheets. Her hands went to his hips, hastily pulling off the 3DMG. The clank of metal filled the air until the gear was finally free from his body and Aubrey set it by the door where she also removed her own.  
Next, she crossed the room, finding a door to a small closet in the far right corner. She rummaged around inside it, eventually finding a spare grey blanket. It was a bit thinner than she would have liked but it would have to do.  
She made her way back to Levi, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders and noting once again just how cold he was. She was starting to panic.  
Aubrey left him again, kneeling by the fireplace. There was a stack of logs nearby and she carefully placed them before lighting a roaring fire. It only took her a matter of minutes.  
She glanced back at Levi’s form on the bed. He was deathly still and Aubrey was on her feet in seconds, pulling him up and letting the blanket fall to the floor.  
Aubrey squeezed his hand and ushered him to the back left corner where she’d seen the door to the bathroom. She threw it open, switching on the lights with haste.  
She cringed. No shower, just a bathtub.  
Baths were never good after expeditions. All the dirt and blood soaked into the water and pretty soon you were wondering how many people had to have died for so much filth to cover your body.  
Aubrey tooked a deep breath. She’d just have to be satisfied with getting the grime off him.  
She rushed to the tub, hastily running the water and becoming impatient as she waited for it to warm. Finally, it reached the nearly scalding temperature she was looking for.  
She turned back, forcing herself to soften her demeanor. She’d need to be gentle. It was hard to see so much blood come off your skin. Especially when you didn’t know if it was yours or your friends’.  
Aubrey stood slowly, carefully finding Levi’s hand one last time. She raised it to her lips kissing across his dirty knuckles. She didn’t care how much filth was on him, she was just as covered.  
Just as she was about to pull away, she felt something scrape against her fingers. She turned over Levi’s hand and saw that he was still clutching the necklace.  
Aubrey took a deep breath. Seeing it made her chest ache so intensely that she nearly hunched over.  
But she held it together. She had to.  
One by one, Aubrey peeled Levi’s fingers back, releasing the necklace from his death grip. Finally, it sat openly on his palm and Aubrey took it from him, placing it behind Levi on the sink. It would be safe there.  
After seeing that Levi wasn’t going to fight her for the necklace, she moved on.  
With as much care as she could muster, she reached for his collar, unhooking his cape and letting it fall to the ground. It was practically shredded into nothing.  
Her fingers lingered on his neck for a moment, caressing his skin. Then her hands traveled to his shoulders, shrugging off his uniform jacket. She was about to throw it on top of the cape when Levi suddenly grabbed it, his hand reaching into the chest pocket. He pulled out Aubrey’s stone.  
Aubrey nearly lost her composure when she saw it and it took everything in her to not cry. Instead, she breathed in, her lungs audibly shuddering as she clasped her hand around the rock.  
She reached behind Levi, placing it on the sink next to the necklace. She didn’t know if that thing was actually magical, but right now she would worship it. It had brought Levi back to her alive. Broken, but alive.  
Aubrey continued with the path of undressing. Now came the hard part. She had to get the damn 3DMG straps off him. Her fingers flitted from buckle to buckle, undoing them as quickly as she could. Levi stood still, letting her work. It seemed to take forever but eventually, Aubrey neared the end, removing his shoes and slipping the straps off the bottoms of his feet.  
She stood, looking him in the eyes before continuing on. Her hands ran over Levi’s chest and down his abdomen until she found the seam of his shirt. She lifted and was grateful when he helped her to remove it.  
She immediately found his belt, removing it with ease and then undid the buttons of his pants. She pulled until they were on the floor and then rose again, her fingers slipping under the waistband of his underwear.  
A sudden grip on her wrist made her halt and Aubrey raised her eyes. Levi was staring down at her and she was surprised to see that the tiniest light had returned to his eyes.  
“You, too.”  
Levi’s hands reached for her cape and before she knew it, the garment was on the ground. Her jacket followed soon after and then Levi was working swiftly to remove her own straps. He was surprisingly steady and had them off of her in a few minutes. When he was done with that, he lifted her shirt over her head and gently removed her pants.  
Aubrey looked down. They were standing in a pile of bloody clothing.  
Aubrey’s hands found his chest again and she examined the small cuts and grazes all over his body. She wouldn’t be able to get a closer look at them until she’d washed away all the dirt.  
Her fingers found Levi’s underwear again and this time he didn’t stop her as she removed them.  
Aubrey felt a hand cup her jaw and pull her up. As soon as she was standing again Levi’s fingers slid around her back, unhooking her bra and pulling it away. He immediately moved to her panties and they were on the floor in seconds.  
The two of them stared at each other and Aubrey felt a rush go through her when she saw that the small glimmer of light in his eyes had grown a bit larger. If she could just get that glimmer to stay, if she could just get him to hold on, they’d be okay.  
Aubrey pulled his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and light. Neither of them had the energy or desire for a passionate exchange. This was simply a show of comfort and of love.  
When she broke away, Aubrey turned to the bath. It had since filled up and steam was filling the room. She moved to it, dragging Levi behind her. She swiftly shut off the water and stepped in, Levi following close behind.  
They sunk in and Aubrey instantly felt some of the tension leave her muscles. She hadn’t realized how cold she’d been until the heat of the water hit her body. A shiver ran up her spine and Aubrey leaned forward, bringing Levi close to her.  
She held him for a moment and then got to work. There were no washcloths, towels, or even soap in sight so her hands would have to do. She cupped the warm water in her palm, raising it and rubbing it into Levi’s arm. She watched as the blood from a small cut washed away and trickled into the water.  
She repeated the action, moving all the way up Levi’s arm, over his shoulders, and across his chest.  
Finally, she pulled away a bit. Levi had his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted. Aubrey leaned forward, kissing him gently before bringing her hand to his face. She wiped away the streaks of dirt, splatters of blood, and dried tears. With each movement, she could see him becoming more himself. The grime cleared to reveal his perfect skin, his sharp jaw, his strong cheekbones. Aubrey nearly sighed when she at last wiped his entire face clean.  
She wanted so badly to bury her face in the crook of his neck, but she held back. She was still filthy.  
Aubrey got to work on herself, sinking deeper into the water and scrubbing away all the dirt she could find. She didn’t get far.  
Levi pulled her back to him, his hands roaming over her skin as he washed her.  
Aubrey could barely hide her shock. She hadn’t expected that he’d have the strength to pay her any attention. In fact, she’d almost preferred it that way. He was in pain, even more than her, and she wanted him to just focus on staying alive.  
“Levi, you don’t have to…”  
Aubrey trailed off as Levi’s hands continued to move over her body. It was clear that he had no intention of stopping. Aubrey gave up, relaxing into his arms.  
When he reached her face, his movements became even more tender. His thumb dragged gently across her forehead, and his other hand lightly wiped across her cheek. Aubrey couldn't hold back her exhales of relief.  
When he’d finished, Levi leaned forward, kissing her again and again. In that moment, she was the only thing holding him down, keeping him from spiraling out of control.  
Aubrey kissed him back, savoring every moment. He was alive and every touch of their lips was a reminder of that fact.  
Eventually, they broke away, panting for air. Aubrey took Levi’s face in her hands, pressing their foreheads together.  
“Turn around.”  
Levi leaned back, pausing for just a second before following her instructions.  
Aubrey ran over his back, feeling his muscles tense and then relax at her touch. She pressed small kisses to the little nicks and cuts she found along the way. When she was satisfied, she reached up, placing her hands on either side of his head as she guided him down to the water.  
At first, he resisted, but a few comforting touches had him calm again.  
Aubrey washed his hair, her fingertips massaging gently against his scalp. Levi closed his eyes. The sensation was overwhelmingly pleasant and for the moment, it distracted him.  
Aubrey raked her hands through the strands, enjoying the little exhales that escaped Levi’s mouth. She was happy she could give him this, a moment of peace in a world of torture.  
When she’d finished her task, she moved to his neck, rubbing small circles into the muscles. But before she could get too far, Levi revealed that he had other plans.  
He sat up, the water splashing around him before he turned to face Aubrey. His hands found her shoulders and he twisted her around, signaling that it was her turn.  
Aubrey followed his direction and let him lower her into the water. He worked through her hair. It took him quite a bit longer to finish but Aubrey didn’t mind; she was happy to have his hands on her.  
When she felt a gentle kiss on her lips, Aubrey knew he was done. She lifted herself, quickly noticing that the water had turned a light shade of brown.  
Time to get out.  
Aubrey pulled the plug on the drain and watched as the water started to swirl down. It was a relief to physically rid herself of a piece of their horrid day.  
She turned back to Levi and saw that his eyes were glued to her face. The sight left her feeling weak.  
Somehow, she got the strength to stand and Aubrey shivered as she left the warm water.  
Levi took his cue, rising beside her.  
Aubrey watched the water drip from his body and noticed immediately when he started to shiver. She glanced around, noticing that she’d made a mistake. They had no clean clothes.  
She absolutely would not allow Levi to put on his dirtied uniform. She was sure that the sight of it would end up causing him intense pain. She’d have to find another solution.  
Aubrey stepped out of the tub, walking carefully across the tile floor. The cool air sent a chill across her entire body as she left the bathroom and crossed the room to the closet. She’d seen some spare sheets in there. It was as close to a towel as they were going to get.  
Levi was just setting his feet on the floor when she returned. She shoved the sheet in his hands.  
“Sorry. No towels.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
Levi didn’t appear to care because his hand grasped around the cloth and he wrapped the material around his body.  
Aubrey did the same, but made sure that he was properly drying himself before she started on herself.  
She worked quickly, anxious to get into the bed and near the warmth of the fire. The second she felt adequately dry, she dragged Levi back into the main room.  
She crawled onto the bed, pulling him in beside her. She discarded the extra sheet and slid under the covers. She felt the bed sink beside her and she rolled onto her side, pulling Levi against her.  
Aubrey let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She’d finally reached her end goal. From the moment they’d reached the stables, this is where she knew Levi needed to be.  
He was clean, warm, and most importantly, not alone.  
There were still plenty of things she’d have to work out. At some point she’d have to go for food and a change of clothes but for now, she would stay right here.  
Aubrey felt Levi bury his face in the crook of her neck and she wrapped herself around him, crushing him against her. His legs twined with hers and his arm slid over her waist.  
Aubrey turned her head just enough to place a light kiss on his cheek. She knew that this would probably be the hardest night of his life.  
She felt the grief too, but Aubrey had lost friends... Levi had lost family.  
As they lay there, Aubrey felt the darkness start to creep in. The shock was wearing off and now they were going to be left to their thoughts. Aubrey braced herself.  
Levi shifted further into her and at first she simply thought that he was hugging her tighter. It wasn’t until she felt his chest begin to heave that she realized what was happening.  
A trail of warmth slid down her shoulder. Levi was crying.  
At first, his sobs were choked and Aubrey could tell he was trying to hold it in. But as time passed, his groans of pain grew louder and soon each cry brought Aubrey close to breaking.  
She rocked him back and forth, her own tears mingling with his until the room blurred and the only sensation was his skin against hers.  
Aubrey knew that neither of them would sleep that night, that the pain would seep in through every pore and torture them until they both felt beaten.  
But she also knew that if they could make it until sunrise, if they could hold each other until a new day began… they would make it out alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we just appreciate that I updated twice in one day?? Who am I? lol.  
> This chapter was lowkey really fun to write. Maybe I like writing angst??? I don’t know. It could be that I’m just happy to have the deaths over with. They make me sad :(  
> Anyway, we still have a lot of sad to go before we get to much happy, but we’ll get there!  
> THANK YOU for all of the amazing comments! You all know how much I love them :) Let me know what you thought of this chapter if you can!


	35. Chapter 35

Aubrey held Levi all through the night. Eventually his sobs had ceased, only to return again and again and again. Aubrey did her best to comfort him, pulling him closer and kissing away the tears. She didn’t know if it actually helped but every time a round of cries came to an end she felt an enormous sense of relief. Hearing his pain broke her down just a little more each time.  
After a few hours, the fire had died down to a dull glow and what little sunlight had been getting past the curtains before had completely disappeared. The room was almost completely dark as they lay together, holding on for dear life. Neither of them spoke except for the occasional “I love you”. There was nothing else to say. No amount of words would lessen the pain even the tiniest bit.  
The time had passed slowly. Every minute felt like an hour and Aubrey had anxiously waited to see the smallest speck of sunlight filter through the window. She desperately wanted the night to be over, wanted to see a new beginning, a new day.  
When that speck of light finally came, she nearly cried with relief.  
Aubrey turned to Levi only to find that he was asleep.  
At first, she was shocked. She hadn’t expected that he would sleep at all until his body physically collapsed. But then she remembered the bouts of sobs and shivering and realized that perhaps he had already reached his limit.  
He didn’t exactly look peaceful but he wasn’t writhing around, either. His brow was furrowed and a small frown graced his lips but his breathing was steady and calm.  
Aubrey realized her opportunity and propped herself up, seeing if she would wake him. The bed shifted a bit but he remained asleep.  
Watching his face the whole time, she untangled their limbs and slowly slid away. As soon as she was off the bed, she moved quickly to the bathroom. Their clothes were still splayed across the floor in a bloody pile.  
Aubrey dreaded what she was about to do, but she couldn’t think of another option.  
She sifted through the pile, picking out her uniform.  
It was just as filthy as she remembered and the thought of it being back on her skin sent shivers down her spine.  
She pushed the memories of how that filth had gotten there out of her mind. She couldn’t think about it right now.  
As quietly as she could, Aubrey dressed herself, not bothering with the 3DMG straps. There was no training today. There never was after an expedition. Too many people were grieving.  
Aubrey glanced at the small tokens that she’d left on the sink the night before. Tika’s stone and Isabel’s necklace lay side by side. The rock was clean but the necklace was still caked in blood.  
She shuddered, trying not to think about how that blood had gotten there. She resolved to clean the necklace when she got back if Levi was still sleeping. She didn’t want him to have the same reaction to the filth that covered it.  
Aubrey slipped out of the bathroom, once again glancing at Levi’s figure. He was still breathing evenly and lying still. She hoped he’d stay that way until she returned.  
With slow movements, she crossed the room. Her hand reached for the doorknob and she glanced back one last time. Still sleeping.  
Finally, she cracked open the door, pulling gently to ensure that the hinges didn’t squeak. As soon as it was open enough, Aubrey slid through, shutting the door quietly behind her.  
For a moment, she stood silently in the hall. It was cold and her breaths seemed to echo off the stone walls. She hadn’t realized just how… tired she was.  
She’d just have to push through it. She had too much to do and Levi was relying on her.  
Aubrey took a deep breath and then turned down the hall. Her footsteps were the only sound.  
She made her way through all of the empty corridors until she finally stepped through the back door they’d entered from. Her feet moved quickly as she trudged along the path. She was anxious to get what she needed and return as quickly as possible. She didn’t know if Levi would wake and find himself abandoned.  
Eventually, the barracks came into sight and Aubrey picked up her pace. She ran right up to her door, pushing it open and sliding in.  
She didn’t linger.  
Immediately, she found her dresser, pulling out a change of clothes.  
She stripped, shoving her dirty uniform to the side. She’d deal with it later. For now, she was just happy to have it off her body.  
Clean clothes were on her in a second and she sighed as the feeling of filth disappeared.  
She reached back into the drawers, pulling out another spare set of garments and rushed to her closet, grabbing a satchel she hadn’t touched in ages. She stuffed the clothes in and then pushed deeper into her closet, her hands reaching a box covered in dust.  
Aubrey felt her heart race as she made contact with it. Just a few weeks ago, she had refused to let Levi go through this part of her room because it was too painful. Now, she was willingly going to submit herself to the torture of remembering.  
She pulled the box out into the open. Her fingers trembled as she yanked at the latches on the sides. She struggled for far too long, her hands shaking too much to be very efficient.  
She grunted in frustration and then with a final tug, the lid came loose.  
All of a sudden, she felt herself begin to shiver. This was a moment she wasn’t sure she’d ever experience.  
With a deep breath, Aubrey tossed the lid to the side, revealing Jack’s old belongings.  
A hand came to her mouth as Aubrey looked at the clothes she remembered him wearing. Just the sight brought back too many memories and tears formed in her eyes. It took everything she had to hold them back.  
After just a few seconds, Aubrey had seen enough. She reached into the box, emptying its contents into her bag.  
She dried her eyes as she stood, racing around the room to grab anything else she might need. Soap, towels, an extra blanket, and several other items were thrown haphazardly into the satchel.  
Aubrey took one last glance around and then moved to the door. She didn’t have the strength to remain much longer.  
The door slammed shut behind her and she practically ran back toward the castle.  
Thankfully, there was no one out and about to see her frenzied movements. The sun was just barely over the horizon and she was sure that people would be late to rise on their day off anyway. Grief wasn’t exactly a morning motivator.  
Aubrey hurried along, thinking of Levi the whole time. God, she hoped he wouldn’t wake up before she got back.  
Finally, she arrived back at the castle but she went through the main entrance instead of the back door. She still had one more stop to make.  
She traveled down familiar hallways and eventually the Mess Hall came into view.  
Breakfast wouldn’t be ready for at least another hour but Aubrey wasn’t here for that. She needed some food that could last a while. She didn’t think that Levi would be up for leaving the room for at least a couple of days.  
Aubrey weaved between the tables until she reached the kitchen.  
A few people milled about, readying the mass amounts of food that would be required to feed the entire regiment. Aubrey knew all of them. They’d seen her in the kitchen too many times to count.  
She gave them a nod and they all continued with their work, thinking nothing of her presence.  
She got to work quickly, running to the pantry and throwing a pile of ration bars into her bag. She knew Levi hated them but they were better than nothing.  
Her eyes scanned the rest of the rest of the shelves and she ended up shoving a few apples, some dried meat, and a bit of bread in with the ration bars.  
Looking down at her stachel, Aubrey realized that it was nearly full. If Levi wanted something different he’d have to bear her leaving the room to come get it.  
Aubrey moved out of the pantry, intent on getting back to him quickly.  
Until she ran into a wall of muscle.  
She jumped back, an apology immediately forming on her lips. But then she saw who she’d hit.  
Erwin.  
There was a kettle on the stove and an empty cup next to him on the counter. He was making tea.  
Aubrey stared at him and felt a surge of anger. She hadn’t forgotten his betrayal. And, unlike Levi, he hadn’t lost a family. She had no reason to be tender with him.  
“You’re up early this morning.”  
Aubrey nearly snapped at him. She didn’t have time to chat.  
“I couldn’t sleep.”  
Erwin nodded.  
Aubrey scowled at the sad expression on his face. He obviously knew she was mad and he was feeling guilty.  
There was a long pause and Aubrey was just about to leave when he finally spoke again.  
“How is he?”  
This time she couldn’t hold back the scoff.  
“How do you think?”  
Erwin winced as her words cut through him. She was more than just upset with him. She was mad.  
Aubrey watched as Erwin gathered himself, preparing to ask another question.  
“And how are you?”  
Aubrey felt herself crack.  
“I don’t have time for this, Erwin.”  
Aubrey pushed past him, stomping toward the exit.  
But she’d only gotten a few steps when she felt her own guilt hit. Never in her life had she dismissed Erwin so harshly. She was still mad, but… he was human, too. And all humans made mistakes.  
Aubrey stopped, forcing her breaths to come evenly. After a moment, she turned back to him, though she wasn’t sure how comforting her expression was.  
“Give me time, Erwin.”  
Without waiting to see his reaction, she walked away, exiting the kitchen before he could say anything more.  
________________________________________  
It didn’t take long for Aubrey to arrive back at the narrow corridor that held her room. Or… their room.  
Once again, her heels clicked against the stone until she finally came to a stop by the door. Her hand reached for the door but froze when she heard sounds of movement from within.  
Shit.  
The door was open in a split second, the wood cracking against the stone wall as it swung all the way.  
Aubrey’s eyes searched, immediately finding Levi on the bed. He was still asleep but she could see his skin glistening with sweat and he was fidgeting restlessly.  
A nightmare.  
Aubrey dropped her bag to the floor, not caring when some of its contents spilled out.  
Her legs moved automatically and soon she was crawling across the bed.  
Her hands reached for his face, shaking him lightly.  
“Levi.”  
Nothing.  
A little louder this time. “Levi, wake up.”  
His eyes snapped open and he shot up. Aubrey nearly fell back but she caught herself just in time. She hadn’t been expecting him to wake up so… violently.  
He was panting and it looked like his muscles were straining to the point of pain.  
“Levi, are y-”  
Aubrey found herself cut off when his lips met hers. The kiss was intense, but gentle. His hands found her cheeks and kept her mouth pressed against his and his body shifted closer. He seemed impatient and frantic, like he was trying to fit a lifetime’s worth of kisses into one exchange.  
Aubrey didn’t know what she’d just woken him from, but if her lips could be of comfort, he could have them.  
Levi pressed his body against hers until his weight became too much and Aubrey’s back hit the bed.  
He kissed her again and again, only ever stopping to kiss her cheeks while she caught her breath.  
What he’d just seen… he needed to have her as close to him as possible. He needed to hear her heartbeat, feel her skin against his. She was all he had left and he couldn’t see how he would ever be able leave her side again.  
Aubrey kissed him back as best she could. He seemed frenzied and there was no pattern or rhythm to his movements. Everything was erratic and desperate.  
Aubrey felt like she was gasping for air for hours before Levi finally began to slow down. Even he had his limits.  
Eventually, his head dropped to her chest where he placed his ear directly over her heart. His arms squeezed around her and Aubrey knew that there was no way she’d be moving until he let her.  
Her hand found its way to his hair and she stroked his head gently, trying to relieve him of as much stress as she could.  
She didn’t ask him what he’d been dreaming about; she thought she could already guess.  
They lay there for what could have been seconds, minutes, or hours before Levi finally lifted himself to look in her eyes.  
She’d been right about him being frenzied. Every one of his features embodied desperation. But that wasn’t what struck her the most. The light was still in his eyes, the one she’d worked so hard to maintain all through the night. He’d made it to morning.  
“You left.” Levi reached for the fabric of her shirt, tugging it gently for emphasis.  
Aubrey nodded.  
“Yes. We needed clothes, food… and you were asleep. I was hoping you wouldn’t even notice I was gone.”  
Levi didn’t say anything in response. He was distracted, his eyes running over every inch of Aubrey’s face as he tried to memorize every feature.  
But Aubrey was distracted by something else entirely. There were goosebumps all over his skin and she suddenly realized that the fire had stopped giving off any substantial heat hours ago.  
“You’re cold.” Aubrey ran her hands over his bare chest, feeling the small bumps beneath her fingers. “Let me up.”  
Levi hesitated. He didn’t want to let her up. But he couldn’t very well keep her pinned to the mattress forever.  
Reluctantly, he shifted to the side, allowing Aubrey to slide off the bed.  
She moved quickly, closing the still open door and gathering the spilled contents of the bag. As soon as she’d finished, she was back with Levi.  
She’d seen the unwilling look on his face and knew that his nightmare was still present enough that he needed her close. No one could understand better than her.  
Levi sat up when she returned, trying to get a better look at what she was carrying.  
Aubrey wiggled her way across the bed until her side was pressed against his. After what they’d just been doing, the contact didn’t seem like enough. But she had a job to do.  
Aubrey reached into the bag, pulling out some of Jack’s clothing. She felt her chest tighten at the sight and she tried to avoid looking as much as she could. She only paid attention enough to piece together an outfit. Pants, shirt, some underwear… good enough.  
She threw the garments into Levi’s lap and busied herself by rummaging through the other contents of the satchel.  
Levi watched her. She was obviously... uncomfortable.  
He forced his eyes to focus on the clothing in front of him. He didn’t recognize it. It most certainly wasn’t his own.  
“Where did you get these?”  
Aubrey froze, her hand tightening around one of the apples she’d grabbed from the pantry. She had to take a deep breath before she could answer.  
“They belonged to a friend of mine.”  
Levi didn’t say anything even as the questions formed in his mind. Aubrey had mentioned that she’d lost people in the past and he was starting to think that maybe the stone and now these clothes had something to do with it. But he wasn’t going to dig up old wounds.  
Aubrey continued to go through the bag, using it as a way to distract herself from what she was about to add.  
“I could tell you about him… if you want.”  
Aubrey held her breath. Half of her hoped that he would say he wasn’t in the mood for stories. She knew that recounting the tale of Jack’s life would be hard. Almost too hard. And yet, the other half of her screamed for Levi to say yes. She needed to tell someone about the still festering wound on her soul. She needed his support.  
Again, Levi said nothing but his hand found hers and squeezed. A silent yes.  
Aubrey shuddered. What had she opened herself up to?  
She couldn’t back out now, but she did need a minute to prepare herself.  
“Put these on first. You still have goosebumps.”  
Aubrey reached for the shirt in Levi’s lap and swiftly slipped it over his head. She’d been right about him and Jack being roughly the same size.  
Aubrey stopped once again. Seeing the garment in a box and seeing it on someone were two entirely different things. She knew the shirt. She remembered it so clearly. He’d worn it to training, to dinners in the Mess Hall, to their late-night gatherings…  
It took all of Aubrey’s strength not to look away. She refused to run from the past any longer.  
When Levi took the rest of the clothes in his hands, Aubrey moved off the bed. She hurried to the fireplace, happy to see that there were still a few small embers burning. She wouldn’t have to start from scratch. It took her just a few minutes to get the fire roaring again.  
Aubrey turned around, seeing that Levi had fully clothed himself and was now sitting on the edge of the bed. He was slightly hunched over and even from his profile, Aubrey could see the far-off look on his face. He was thinking. Thinking wasn’t good. At least, not right now.  
She walked to him, kneeling at his feet and placing her hands on his knees. When she looked up at him, her suspicions were confirmed. The shock and horror of his nightmare was wearing off and the pain was slowly creeping back in.  
Perhaps telling him about Tika and Jack would do more than give her someone to confide in… maybe it would help distract him from his own suffering.  
“You need to eat.”  
Aubrey raised a hand to his face, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. She’d tell him as soon as he was warm and she’d gotten some food in him. She had to remember not to neglect his physical needs in favor of his emotional ones.  
Aubrey stood, reaching behind him for the bag. She pulled out an apple and some dried meat, shoving the food into his hands before sitting beside him.  
She grabbed a ration bar for herself. She’d keep the good stuff for him.  
She took her first bite but Levi continued to sit, not moving a muscle.  
Aubrey felt a wave of sadness overtake her. She could remember exactly the way he felt. She was fairly sure she hadn’t eaten for days after what happened to Tika and Jack. Compared to the grief, hunger had just seemed so... pointless.  
Aubrey grabbed his shoulders, twisting him until his legs were back on the bed and he was facing her completely. She crawled into his lap, her legs going around his waist as she sat, facing him.  
“Eat, Levi.”  
Her hand found his and she raised the apple he held until it pressed against his lips.  
“Please.”  
Relief flooded her when she heard his teeth finally sink into the fruit. She took another bite of her ration bar and waited until Levi hand finished chewing. She gently pushed on his hand again, urging him to take another bite. He did.  
They carried on that way until she’d gotten the whole apple and a good portion of the meat into his system. She’d finished her ration bar long before he’d even gotten close to being done but she didn’t mind. He could take all the time he needed.  
When he finally was done, Aubrey stowed away the rest of the meat and turned back to him. She was still seated in his lap but she was sure that he must be getting uncomfortable. Having a whole person on you couldn’t be all that relaxing.  
She moved off of him and pulled him gently back down to the bed. They lay facing each other and Aubrey once again allowed her fingers to reach for his face, tracing every feature.  
She prepared herself for what she was about to do. She’d never told this story out loud. Of course, she’d relived it in her head hundreds of times over but the words had never actually left her lips. Saying it made it seem too... real.  
She inhaled sharply, using the feel of Levi’s skin as an anchor. His presence would be what got her through.  
Aubrey cleared her throat, pushing down the lump that had already begun to form. She wouldn’t cry. Not until she’d finished.  
One last deep breath.  
“His name was Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, I can’t believe that I already finished another chapter. I am ON A ROLL. This chapter was some more angst, and the next chapter will probably be angst, too. And maybe the one after that lol. There’s a lot of trauma to deal with here. Also, we’ll be getting (Y/N)’s backstory soon, so that’s exciting! There are going to be a lot of flashbacks/confessionals coming up. Everything is coming full circle :)  
> Y’all are really coming through with the comments and I am not kidding when I say that I AUDIBLY giggle every time I read them. Thank you and keep them coming :)))))


	36. Chapter 36

“He was my best friend.”  
Aubrey felt like she was shaking, though her hand appeared alarmingly steady. On the inside, she was losing it but on the outside, she was calm. That was fine. As long as she could get the words out.  
“Well, him and my roommate, Tika. We all met in the Training Corps. They were family to me.”  
Aubrey glanced at Levi’s expression. Neutral, as always. She went on.  
“Those three years of training were the happiest of my life. I’d found something I was good at and for the first time, I’d found people who cared about me.”  
Aubrey sighed. She hadn’t thought about her time in the Training Corps for quite a while. Usually, it was overshadowed by the pain of grief.  
“But I had my heart set on joining the Scouts.”  
Aubrey felt herself choke a bit but she pushed on.  
“They were both good soldiers and I thought that they’d end up with the Military Police. I thought they’d choose to be safe in the interior.”  
Aubrey paused again. It was going to take a while to get to the end of her story.  
“But when the choosing ceremony came, they didn’t step forward. I was horrified. The chance to join the Garrison had already passed and if they weren’t going to go with the MPs… that meant they were joining the Scouts.”  
Another deep breath.  
“When I asked them why, they told me I’d inspired them.”  
Aubrey scoffed at the memory. It was the part of this story that hurt her the most. Knowing that she had been the one to lead her friends to their deaths was crippling. It was what kept the wound open and festering.  
“I think I knew that day that I would lose them, but I refused to admit it. I told them I would protect them, that I was strong enough for all of us. They believed me.”  
Aubrey bit her lip, holding back the tears that were beginning to creep up.  
“All three of us were placed on Flagon’s squad. We did well. I was hopeful. I thought that we might actually make it.”  
She dared to peek at Levi’s expression. It was still unreadable but she thought she could see the interest in his eyes. He was listening.  
“The expedition came so quickly. Before I knew it, we were at the gate.”  
Levi’s hand found hers and squeezed. He could guess what was going to happen next.  
“I remember looking at the sky. It was so… blue. Everything was so open, so free. It was everything I’d hoped it would be.”  
Aubrey shook her head, clearing her mind.  
“But things went wrong fast. We saw our first Titan. I insisted on killing it and I ended up straying too far from the group.”  
Aubrey clutched at Levi’s hand. This was the part that haunted her. The moment that refused her sleep, that rotted away her soul, that wounded her forever.  
“I took it down but I was too slow. When I got back…”  
Aubrey’s face crumpled in horror. A silent tear leaked from her eyes and she internally reprimanded herself. Only when Levi’s arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close, did she finally find the strength to continue.  
“Th-there was… a horde.”  
A few shuddering breaths.  
“I-I… watched them d-die.”  
Aubrey pushed her forehead into Levi’s chest. She had to get a hold of herself. She wasn’t done.  
Levi pulled her tighter against him, their bodies practically crushed together. Her story sounded too much like his own and he was beginning to realize that she understood his pain more than he ever could have expected.  
Aubrey inhaled sharply and leaned back. She had to continue before she got lost in Levi’s arms.  
“Erwin found me. I-I’d torn the titans to shreds but at that point I didn’t even care. I was just so… angry.”  
Deep breaths.  
“When Erwin tried to talk to me… I think I slapped him. And I probably had a right to. He’d once told me that he would sacrifice human lives for the advancement of humanity. But I couldn’t see any advancement that had been achieved by my friends’... deaths.”  
Deep breaths.  
“He told me that the loss would make me stronger. That if I tried hard enough, I could help humanity all on my own.”  
Aubrey closed her eyes. Her story was coming to an end and yet her urge to cry had passed. Maybe she was going numb or maybe the relief of finally telling someone was enough to calm her.  
“That was the day that I decided I would follow him anywhere. I’ve been with him ever since. He was… everything to me.”  
Aubrey pulled away, looking Levi in the eyes. It was important that he understood what she was about to say next.  
“Until you.”  
Aubrey felt his breath hitch ever so slightly and her hands automatically moved to his face, holding him tightly.  
“I love you, Levi. I love you.”  
Her lips hit his with an urgent intensity. She never thought she’d feel for anyone the way she felt for Levi. He somehow managed to soothe her soul and set her on fire at the same time. He was like a bandage on all of the wounds she’d gotten over a lifetime of pain. He wouldn’t fix her but, with his presence, she knew she could begin to heal.  
Levi heard the truth in her words and felt the emotion on her lips. He kissed her back, hoping she could tell he felt the same.  
Aubrey moved her head into the crook of his neck, burying herself in the comfort of his arms. One of his hands had found its way into her hair and the other was wrapped around her back, holding her steady.  
She breathed slowly, allowing her emotions to settle. Every so often she would feel Levi press his lips to her hair and the sensation would soothe her further. It didn’t take long until she felt completely content in his embrace. She could stay there forever.  
Levi held her tightly, doing his best to make her feel safe. Yet again, his incompatibility with words was hindering him. All he had were his actions.  
For a few minutes, they stayed there but, eventually, Levi broke the silence. His mind had been churning, making connections and forming questions. If Aubrey was going to tell him such a painful story, he wanted to make sure understood it. All of it.  
“The stone?” Levi had a strong suspicion that the rock had come from one of her lost friends. If that was true, it meant even more to him that she’d chosen to give it to him before the expedition.  
Aubrey understood what he was asking almost instantly. She moved her head from resting on his shoulder to resting on his chest so that he could hear her answer.  
“Yes, Tika gave it to me as a birthday present one year. She didn’t have any money so she just picked up a pretty rock, declared it lucky, and gave it to me.”  
Aubrey laughed softly. She remembered how happy she’d felt when Tika gave it to her. It was the first gift she’d ever received that she’d actually liked.  
Levi paused, listening closely to her small chuckle. The sound was magical. After the last day of silence and anguish the laugh was like medicine.  
He admired it so much that he almost didn’t ask his next question. It surely wouldn’t be something to laugh about.  
“And your nightmares?”  
This time, it took Aubrey a moment to answer. This was another topic she’d only ever discussed with Levi. Even Erwin didn’t know about her habitual nightmares.  
“Yes to that, too. It’s... the same dream every night. I rewatch, relive, their… deaths.”  
Levi tensed. Her admission disturbed him. She’d been reliving her loss every night?  
Levi felt a sense of alarm rise within him. He’d had his own troubles with sleep and he’d had his fair share of nightmares but he couldn’t imagine what that continuous loop of torture had done to her.  
Aubrey could feel his distress in the way his arm tightened around her. Even his heartbeat sped up.  
She lifted her head, placing her chin on Levi’s chest so that their eyes could meet. She was happy that she had an answer that might actually solve his anxiety.  
“Luckily, I think I’ve found a solution to that problem.”  
Levi couldn’t help the way his brows pushed together in confusion. A solution?  
Aubrey smiled again. Her solution was lying beneath her.  
“You.”  
Levi’s confusion didn’t lessen. He didn’t see how he could be any kind of fix.  
Aubrey smiled even wider, amused that he hadn’t caught on. She couldn’t really blame him, though. She’d never heard of a person being a sleep aid.  
She continued with her explanation.  
“Your presence helps. The other night, at the pond, was the first night I’ve slept without a nightmare since…” Aubrey trailed off. He’d get the picture. She switched to a different point. “Well, except for the full moon, of course.”  
Levi felt his confusion shift to intrigue. He was amazed, and rather elated, by the idea that he could have such a soothing effect on her. But his mind was also chasing after her last statement.  
“Why is it that you like the stars so much?”  
It was Aubrey’s turn to tense. She hadn’t been expecting to discuss her childhood. That was, after all, where her love of the stars came from. It was the reason, she thought, that the full moon managed to lull her to sleep every month.  
She sucked in a breath. Was she ready to do this? Was she ready to tell Levi… who she was?  
It seemed like too much. She’d already confessed so much to him. Surely that was enough for one day.  
She had no guarantee that confiding in him would end positively or that he’d be willing to bear the weight of her past. Telling him about Tika and Jack had been a relief but telling him about her childhood… about her father… that was something entirely different. It was the wound at the very center of her soul.  
And yet, a piece of her wanted to go on, to tell Levi exactly who she was. She couldn’t think of a person she wanted to tell more than him. In fact, she’d denied Hange the information just so she could save it for Levi. If anyone was going to know her past, it was going to be him.  
Aubrey sucked in a mouthful of air after she realized that she hadn’t been breathing for a while. Was she doing this? Was she doing this?  
Aubrey’s mind spiraled out of control until she felt a warm hand on her cheek.  
“You don’t have to answer.”  
Aubrey felt his hand retreating from her face and she automatically reached out, stopping him from pulling away.  
“No.”  
Shit. She was doing this.  
Aubrey took what felt like her thousandth deep breath of the day. And it was still early morning.  
“It’s just… to answer your question I have to tell you… more.”  
Levi raised an eyebrow.  
“More?”  
Aubrey nodded.  
“I have to tell you about my father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is a shorter chapter but I wanted to break up the story-telling a little bit lol. We get Aubrey’s backstory next! Very exciting lol. I feel like Levi might have been a little passive/out of character in this chapter but it’s just what came out on the page soooo… I’m rolling with it. This part of the story is rather difficult to write because there are so many things that need to be addressed/revealed, so many emotions that need to be worked through, and it all happens in the span of a couple days. BUT, I’m enjoying it. Let me know if you have any suggestions and as always, leave a comment :) They make me smile.


	37. Chapter 37

For just a second, Levi felt his mind become completely distracted. His grief, his sadness, his pain, all of it was replaced by the sudden wave of interest.  
From what little he knew about Aubrey’s father, he thought it was perhaps the topic that brought her the most discomfort. Unlike the sadness she felt about the loss of her friends, the mention of her father had always made her bitter and distant. This wound, whatever it was, ran deeper than any other.  
He leaned forward, sitting up and forcing Aubrey to move back. Her brow furrowed a bit, unsure of what he was doing.  
Levi looked her in the eyes, intent on making her see his seriousness.  
“You don’t have to tell me.”  
He knew that remembering her father made Aubrey upset and she was already feeling enough pain and grief as it was. If explaining her past was going to add to that, he didn’t even want her thinking about it.  
Aubrey felt herself melt. The concern on his features brought tears to her eyes. He didn’t want to pressure her.  
She crawled forward, placing herself in his lap and holding his face in her hands. She resolved to speak strongly. He needed to know that she was sure, that he was the one she wanted to tell.  
“Levi.”  
Aubrey paused, watching to see if he was listening. His eyes were glued to hers and she knew she had his full attention.  
“You are the only person who has ever made me even think about revealing my past. I want to tell you. I want you to know who I am.”  
Levi stared at her, analyzing every word she’d said. She sounded sure and he certainly wanted to hear what she had to say but…  
“I’m sure, Levi.”  
It was enough to get him to relax. She could stop any time it became too much.  
As soon as Aubrey heard a huff of agreement leave his lungs, she placed a hand on his chest, pushing lightly until his back hit the wall. It was a long story; they’d need to get comfortable.  
Aubrey turned herself around, leaning her back against his chest and seating herself between his legs.  
She sighed as soon as her head fell against his shoulder. He was warm and the steady rise and fall of his breaths was incredibly calming.  
Her hand found his and she brought his palm to her lap.  
Instantly, her mind brought her back to a sunny day at the pond, Levi in front of her as she traced the creases of his hand. It seemed like a lifetime ago.  
Her fingers found those same creases, sketching the lines and feeling the callouses.  
Levi relaxed muscles he hadn’t realized he’d been tensing. He, too, remembered the last time she’d done this. Compared to where they were right now, that time seemed so… simple.  
Aubrey continued tracing until she ran out of lines to follow and then began aimlessly drawing on his skin. It didn’t just soothe him, it soothed her, too. The repetitive and mindless motion helped her to gather her thoughts. She didn’t know where to start. Levi had asked about the stars but there was a long story behind that. Finally, she decided to just start at the beginning.  
Aubrey took a breath. It was time.  
“Well, I guess I should start by saying that I was born in the north but, I think you already knew that. ”  
Levi glanced down at her. She seemed calm, comfortable even. He hummed in response. He remembered it coming up when he’d confronted her about her last name.  
Aubrey continued on.  
“And, um, my mother died in childbirth. I was her first and only child. I had no siblings.”  
Levi stayed silent. He knew that one, too.  
“Her name was Alexandra. Obviously, I never met her but… I’ve been told she was a very kind woman.”  
Levi noticed her pause as she chose her next words.  
“That… kindness always confused me. I could never understand how someone who cared about others could marry someone like my father.”  
Aubrey felt the first surge of anger. She knew she’d be upset and she was only expecting her anger to grow as she continued.  
Aubrey took a breath, trying to calm herself.  
“My father, my whole family actually, were what one might call… survivalists.”  
Another pause.  
“He was… obsessed with staying alive, no matter what happened. He insisted that I be prepared for any and all situations. I had a dagger in my hands by the time I could walk and it wasn’t much longer before he put me in 3DMG.”  
Levi felt the urge to turn her head so he could see her face. He felt like he could sense where this was going and... It wasn’t good.  
“I suppose that, on the surface, his teachings might seem… advantageous. Knowing how to protect myself has certainly served me well. But… my father was a cruel man. For him, it was not simply preparing me for the worst. He didn’t do what he did out of love for me, he did it out of bitterness and hate.”  
Aubrey felt a shudder run up her spine and before she could even try to relax, Levi’s arm had made its way around her waist, holding her tightly.  
She couldn’t help but sink back into him. He was comforting in every way.  
“I guess I’ll never know for sure why he hated me so but I’ve always thought it was because of my mother. I think he loved her very much and, because of me… she’s dead.”  
Levi didn’t know what to say. He just held her tighter.  
“Anyway, my father was the head of our family business. My grandparents died before I was born and he was the eldest son. He took over before I was even alive. He never told me exactly what our “family business” was but I suspect it had something to do with the fact that we were all good with a blade. Military, assassins, spies, bodyguards, probably all of those and more. Everyone in my family was raised to fight and to always win. I guess that’s why we always had plenty of money.”  
Aubrey stopped for a moment, feeling Levi shift behind her. She had a feeling he was at a loss for words.  
“Because of that, my father rarely had to leave the house. As the family leader, he gave orders instead of doing dirty work. As a result he could train me all day, every day. And, well… he was a very strict teacher.”  
Now she was getting to the part that pained her, the part that left her permanently scarred.  
“My father demanded strength and perfection in everything I did. I can’t tell you the number of times I had to hide bruises with my clothes. Every time I executed a move wrong, every time I didn’t hit the right target, even if he didn’t like my posture… he would beat me.”  
Levi closed his eyes. It hurt him to know that her childhood had perhaps been just as difficult as his own, albeit in different ways. He knew from his own experience that there was nothing he could say or do to make the trauma go away. All he could do was listen.  
“He was always very careful not to leave any permanent scars. He said that I had to make sure I stayed pretty, that it was an advantage in the world to be attractive.”  
Aubrey felt the second surge of anger. This time, it was more intense than the last and she scoffed. The idea of “staying pretty” had always irked her. She never liked the concept of using her appearance to manipulate.  
She shook her head, returning to the present. She wasn’t even close to done yet.  
“Anyway, pain wasn’t the only kind of punishment he gave me. Sometimes he’d make me go days without food, telling me it was because I needed to know how to ‘function on an empty stomach’. He made me sleep in the barn without a blanket in the middle of the winter because I needed to know how to ‘survive the cold’. He was always looking for some excuse to torture me, saying it was for the purpose of me learning how to ‘stay alive both inside and outside the walls.’”  
Levi shifted again, waiting for the next installment. With each and every speech, he paid closer attention to her heartbeat, her breathing, everything. He wanted to make sure he was ready if she started to break.  
“He taught me everything from reading, writing, science, and history, to strategy, etiquette, and music. He insisted that I not only needed to be a good soldier but also of superior class and intellect. But most of my training still centered around hand to hand combat and the 3DMG. I think you already know that I don’t fight in the typical military style. That’s because my father taught me a different method. It’s specific to my family, or at least they’re the only people I’ve ever known who use it. It’s… a very deadly style of fighting. Instead of every move being designed to subdue my enemy, my father taught me how to always go for the kill. It was hard to cover up when I first joined the Training Corps. I had to intentionally go against what my muscles already knew. It was like relearning how to walk.”  
Aubrey felt surprisingly… not sad. She’d thought that tears would be involved in the telling of this story but so far all she’d felt was the anger. It spurred her on, pushing her to proceed.  
“The 3DMG was even worse. I’d been using it since my father could fit me in the straps and before that he’d had me working on balance drills. I had to pretend like I didn’t know anything. It was excruciating.”  
Aubrey paused for a moment. She was getting off track. She was supposed to be talking about her father, not the Training Corps.  
“Anyway, that was my life. Training and torture, day in and day out. I think I had just turned eight when I realized that I needed to leave. But my father was all that I had. I couldn’t go to a family member, they’d just return me. I could’ve made a run for the streets but I wasn’t sure I’d make it. I was still so young. I knew my best choice was waiting for the military draft when I was twelve. So, I waited. When the time finally came, I grabbed as many supplies as I could and left. I found my way to the city and enrolled in the Training Corps. I used the last name “Daremo” as an alias but it was a dumb choice. I enrolled with the same first name and “Daremo” means “no one” in the northern dialect. My stupid twelve year brain was too symbolic. Had he wanted to, I’m sure my father could have found me easily. But I don’t think he did want to. I think he was happy, elated even, to see me go. He hated me and I’m sure he was glad to have me gone. But, when I left him, I felt free for the first time. I found Tika and Jack and I promised myself that I would become the opposite of what he’d tried to make me. I would smile, I would be happy, I would care.”  
Aubrey stopped, realizing that she’d once again managed to get off topic. She’d never answered Levi’s original question.  
“Oh, you asked about the stars. My father taught me how to read them and use them to navigate but that wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience. Every time I got a constellation wrong he’d give me a new bruise. The real reason I like them is because of my mother.”  
Levi’s brows lowered. Her casual mention of her beatings was disturbing and he grew more concerned with each passing second.  
“The cemetery was close enough to our house that I could walk there. But my father would never let me go during the day, so I had to go at night. The problem was that it was always too dark for me to find my way. The north has some very black nights and it’s a miracle if there isn't some kind of snow, fog, or mist, too. The full moon was the only thing that gave me enough light to find my way. I’d go to my mother’s grave and sit there until dawn. It was the only kind of peace that I had in my life.”  
Aubrey realized that she’d stopped tracing Levi’s hand at some point and she quickly resumed.  
“I guess that peace has carried over because now it’s the only night I really sleep. I mean, except when I’m with you, of course.”  
Levi tightened his grip around her waist. If she’d let him, she’d never have to experience that nightmare again. If his presence was enough, he’d stay with her every night for the rest of his life.  
Aubrey fell silent. She didn’t know what to say next. She didn’t really want to go into much detail right now. There was so much, so many horror stories she could tell him but she figured she’d save those for another time. It seemed like too much for one night.  
Levi recognized that she’d finished when she didn’t speak up after several seconds. He didn’t even bother trying to comfort her with words. Instead, he grabbed the hand that was tracing his palm and squeezed it tightly.  
But, something flickered in his mind and he suddenly realized that there was one bit of information she’d left out.  
“What was your father’s name?”  
Aubrey frowned. Saying her father’s name seemed so strange, so foreign. Not once in her life had she dared to call him by it.  
“Julias. His name was Julias Hilmar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backstory overload lol. I hope Aubrey’s history wasn’t cheesy/typical/overdramatic. When I came up with it in my head it sounded really great, but I know that sometimes it doesn’t always translate well on the page.  
> I am somewhat sorry to say that we still have ONE more confessional from Levi about HIS past to get through. I hope these aren’t getting boring. I’ll try to speed up Levi’s backstory since we all pretty much know it but (Y/N) has to learn about it somehow lol. After that’s over I can start to move the story forward a little bit.


	38. Chapter 38

WARNING: Angry smut ahead, lol.

Levi felt something churning in his mind. He’d heard that surname before. Aubrey had told him about her alias just after they’d met but it hadn’t sparked anything back then. But now it was familiar, too familiar. Any names he knew would be connected with the Underground, with… criminals.  
It clicked. He’d heard the name before, but not in his own work. In Kenny’s.  
It made sense. Aubrey had said her family was made up of assassins, spies, bodyguards. Those were all jobs that would likely have had some contacts in the Underground. And if you were going to have a contact in the Underground, you couldn’t get much better than Kenny.  
Aubrey had noticed Levi go stiff behind her and she was currently trying to turn around to look at his face. But she couldn’t. Levi’s arm had tightened around her when he’d tensed and she was having a hard time maneuvering out of his grip.  
“Levi.”  
Aubrey wiggled around, trying to loosen his muscles but it wasn’t working. She felt herself becoming frustrated. What had happened to make him so lost in his own thoughts?  
“Levi.”  
Finally, she got a response. Levi released her from the grip around her waist but as soon as he let her go there, his hands moved to her face. He turned her to face him and Aubrey was suddenly scared by the look he was giving her. His eyes were burning and his features were as cold as stone. When he spoke, his voice was just as hard as his expression.  
“Your last name, tell me again.”  
Aubrey didn’t hesitate, anxious to give him whatever answer he needed and get him to relax again.  
“Hilmar.”  
Levi let his hands fall from her cheeks. That confirmed it. He’d definitely heard the name before. In fact, he was starting to remember specific instances in which Kenny had brought it up. It was always when he was discussing a job or a meet-up of some kind.  
Aubrey was starting to panic. She didn’t know what was going on. What about her name could possibly have made him react this way?  
Her hands went to his shoulders, holding them tightly as she shook him back to reality.  
“Levi! What is wrong?”  
His face suddenly relaxed and Aubrey could tell that she was getting him back. Her hands moved from his shoulders to his face and she desperately stroked his cheeks.  
“Levi, what is wrong?”  
It only took a few more seconds for the distant look to completely disappear and soon his hand found her wrist.  
Gently, he pulled her hands away from his face. He recognized now that his revelation must have looked like some kind of grief attack or moment of pain.  
“I’m alright. I just… remembered something.”  
Aubrey still felt the panic in her stomach. He seemed okay now but just moments ago she’d been worried for his wellbeing.  
“Remembered what?”  
Whatever he’d just thought of was obviously important. She wanted to know.  
Levi paused. Was he really going to tell her about his past just a few minutes after she’d finished? It was the perfect opportunity and he knew that he would have to tell her about his life in the Underground eventually. It just seemed so… soon. But she deserved to know.  
Levi grasped her wrist a bit harder and looked her in the eyes.  
“I’ll tell you but first, let’s take a bath.”  
Aubrey’s expression immediately turned to confusion. A bath?  
“What?”  
Levi began to shift out of the bed.  
“Did you bring soap?”  
Aubrey could barely wrap her head around the situation. How had he switched topics so easily?  
“Um, y-yes, I think so.”  
“Good. Let’s go.”  
Levi pulled her out of the bed after him and Aubrey had to scramble to grab the satchel before he yanked her away to the bathroom.  
He didn’t want to admit it out loud but he felt disgusting after his nightmare. The dried sweat on his skin continued to remind him of what he’d seen. Plus, the few extra minutes it would take to run the bath would give him some time to get his thoughts in order.  
But, the second he threw open the door, he froze.  
Bloodied uniforms still lay scattered across the floor and… the necklace still sat on the sink, caked in filth.  
In a second, Aubrey was in front of him, blocking his view.  
She’d completely forgotten about needing to clean the bathroom. She knew the sight of the uniforms and the necklace was probably taking him right back to the horrors of yesterday.  
Her hands flitted to his face, resting gently on his skin.  
“Close your eyes.”  
Her voice was enough to break Levi out of his stupor. For a moment, his eyes narrowed, unsure of why she would ask him such a thing but he eventually complied.  
The instant he followed her instructions, he felt her hands leave his face. There were a few light noises, though Levi had a hard time identifying anything besides her footsteps. Sooner or later, he heard the sound of a cabinet opening and closing and then he finally heard the sound of running water as the bathtub filled.  
Aubrey’s hands found his face again.  
“Open.”  
Levi opened his eyes, seeing that Aubrey had managed to hide away all of the dirty clothes and even the necklace and the stone. It looked as if there had never been anything there at all.  
Aubrey reached for his hand, gently pulling him into the room and shutting the door behind them.  
She didn’t say anything. The damage had already been done. Now she just had to hope that he could break out of his trance and return to the liveliness he’d had just moments ago.  
She let go of him, pulling the soap out of the bag along with towels, washcloths, and even some toothbrushes. Thankfully, she’d had a spare one for Levi. She didn’t think he would have been a fan of sharing.  
She was just setting the last item on the sink when she felt fingers on the waistband of her pants. Before she knew it, Levi was undressing her. He had everything off her in seconds and she was almost shocked by how efficient he’d become after just a few practice rounds.  
Levi pulled his own shirt over his head but Aubrey made it to his pants before he could do the whole job himself.  
Soon, all of their clothes were on the floor and Levi was pulling her into the tub behind him.  
The process was much like the night before but this time Aubrey had soap and washcloths. She could really wash him rather than just get the dirt off.  
Once again, Levi insisted on taking turns and Aubrey didn’t object. If he wanted to put his hands on her, she was all for it.  
Their bath was shorter than last time. There was no grime to scrub away and it was just a matter of getting the soap over their skin.  
Soon, Aubrey found herself in a familiar position, her back pressed to Levi’s chest as he leaned against the tub. The water was still plenty hot and the feeling of the steam on her face was almost enough to make her forget about what had spurred their bath in the first place.  
“Do you want to tell me about what you remembered?” Aubrey spoke gently. She desperately wanted to know but whatever memory had resurfaced had thrown him into a state of unresponsiveness. She didn’t really want to repeat that.  
Levi sighed and Aubrey sunk back against him as his chest fell. She found his hand and started tracing again. He always seemed to relax when she did that.  
“I was remembering my own childhood.”  
Aubrey’s face scrunched. How did her name relate to his childhood?  
Levi exhaled sharply, realizing that it was time to start his story. It wasn’t a time he looked back on fondly and usually he tried to avoid thinking of it at all. But if there was ever a good reason to revisit his past, it was now.  
“Have you ever heard of Kenny the Ripper?”  
Aubrey only felt more confused.  
“The serial killer?”  
Levi nodded, humming lightly for confirmation since Aubrey couldn’t see his face.  
“I lived with him for a while when I was younger.”  
Aubrey froze. What?  
She squirmed and wiggled around haphazardly until she could turn to see Levi’s expression. He was serious.  
Levi stared down at her. Her eyes were practically bugging out of her head and the look of shock on her face was priceless. Her mouth was opening and closing, like she kept trying to say something but couldn’t find the words.  
He decided to speak for her.  
“He took me in, taught me how to survive, how to fight. I probably owe my life to him.”  
Finally, Aubrey regained control of her voice.  
“Were you… related?”  
Levi sighed. He’d been wondering the same thing for years.  
“I don’t know. I was born in the Underground. My mother was a prostitute and I never found out who my father was. It could’ve been Kenny for all I know. She took care of me when I was young but she died around the time I turned eleven.”  
Aubrey turned her entire body, rotating so that she was fully facing Levi. She wanted to be able to see his expression at all times. This was a story she hadn’t been expecting to hear.  
“That was when I met Kenny. He showed up a few days after my mother’s death. I’d been sitting in that room with her. I must have looked like shit.”  
Levi leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. He felt Aubrey’s fingers on his neck and sighed when she started placing soothing strokes all over his skin. She always seemed to know exactly what he needed.  
“He took me away, taught me how to use a blade, how to protect myself, how to survive in the Underground. He had jobs, missions. That’s where I heard your last name.”  
Levi glanced down at Aubrey as her fingers stilled on his neck.  
“You said your family was involved in dirty work, right? It wouldn’t surprise me if Kenny and your family worked together at some point. He had plenty of connections.”  
Aubrey could hardly believe what she was hearing… but it made sense. If what she suspected about her family’s business was true, it wasn’t a stretch to assume that they’d done jobs in the Underground. Levi’s memory of her last name only confirmed that. The coincidence almost seemed too perfect but… it made sense.  
Aubrey forced herself back to the present. She could think more about her family’s work later. Right now, she wanted to hear what was left of Levi’s story. If he would tell her, that is.  
“Go on. I want to hear the rest.”  
Levi examined her features. He was surprised by how she’d reacted to his confession. She’d looked stunned for just a second before her face had returned itself to normal. Her fingers had even started moving over his neck again.  
He decided that she must have put the information away for later. It was a strange connection to make and he figured she must want to process it some other time.  
With that conclusion in mind, he decided to continue.  
“One day, he was gone. He left me to fend for myself.”  
Aubrey peeked at his face. His words pulled her completely from her trance. His story kept devastating her, over and over.  
She pushed her forehead against Levi’s chest. She couldn’t even imagine what kinds of horrors he’d seen at such a young age. And to be abandoned… just thinking about what he’d gone through made her heart ache uncontrollably.  
“I made it on my own, taking jobs for money and stealing when I didn’t have enough. Eventually Furlan found me and for some reason I told him we could team up. We worked together for a while until Isabel came along. Then it was just the three of us.”  
Aubrey kissed whatever skin she could find. She knew that this part of the story must be especially difficult for him… the loss of his friends was still so fresh.  
“We got our hands on some 3DMG and it made our work more efficient. We started being able to save up some money and we hoped that we’d be able to earn our way to lives on the surface.”  
Levi could feel himself wanting to go numb but Aubrey’s touch kept him in the moment.  
“That’s when we got a special job. A man on the surface promised us surface citizenship and a good amount of money if we could complete a mission for him. He told us that we only had two tasks. We were to retrieve some incriminating documents and… kill Erwin.”  
Aubrey nearly gasped. It took everything she had to choke down any kind of reaction, though she couldn’t stop the way her lips halted against Levi’s skin.  
Slowly, she pulled back, studying him. It was easy to see the guilt and regret in his eyes and his lips had turned down into a hard frown. He was expecting some kind of reprimand.  
“You… you tried to kill him… for a job?” Aubrey’s tone was neutral. She wanted confirmation before she allowed herself to react.  
Levi stayed silent for a long while before he finally opened his mouth.  
“Yes.”  
Aubrey shuddered. She felt so many emotions that it was hard to distinguish them. Anger, sadness, understanding, empathy, horror, betrayal. All of them were running rapidly through her veins. She sat there, her breathing erratic until she felt a strong grip on her wrist.  
She looked up. Levi was glaring at her, his eyes hard and passionate.  
“Get mad.”  
Aubrey was sure she hadn’t heard him right.  
“What?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
“Get mad. You said you could be angry later. Now is later. Get mad.”  
A frown graced her lips.  
“Levi, I-”  
He yanked on her arm, bringing her body even closer to his.  
“Damn it, Aubrey. Get mad.”  
Anger did rise within her, but not for the reason Levi was pushing. She was angry that he wanted her to be mad. She’d been doing just fine. If he would just leave it alone, she could deal with her feelings quietly, just like she’d always done.  
“I don’t want to talk abou-”  
Aubrey found herself cut off as Levi’s lips crashed against hers. The kiss was too harsh, too powerful, and she tried to pull away. But Levi’s hand had already tangled in her hair, holding her mouth to his.  
She squirmed in his grip but it was only after she pushed hard against his chest that he finally let her go. She was left panting for air, heat bubbling in her chest.  
“What the hell was that?”  
Aubrey couldn’t believe he’d been so forceful with her. Just moments ago they’d been perfectly comfortable, content with each other’s company.  
“Are you mad?”  
Aubrey scoffed. She couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. She’d had enough.  
“I can’t deal with this right now.”  
Aubrey stood, the water splashing angrily when she left the tub. She didn’t bother with a towel and instead yanked her clothes over her wet skin. She didn’t care. She wanted to be out of that room.  
She tried not to pay attention when she heard Levi behind her. She didn’t even dare to look at him. She was on the edge and she knew it.  
As soon as the last piece of clothing was on her body, she stomped out, throwing the bathroom door wide open. She knew she didn’t really have anywhere to go but she had to leave before she cracked.  
She made her way to the edge of the bed where she’d kicked off her boots. Her hand was just reaching for the first shoe when she felt a grip on her wrist.  
Her jaw clenched and she turned, seeing that Levi was still shirtless but had managed to get his pants on fast enough to catch her.  
“Let. Go.”  
Levi tilted his head to the side, wet bangs falling into narrowed eyes.  
“No.”  
Aubrey felt the coil snap within her.  
She pulled hard, trying to yank her wrist out of Levi’s grasp but it backfired. His free hand found her other arm and before she knew it, he had her backpedaling toward the wall.  
She tried to fight back but he was stronger than her and had both of her hands incapacitated.  
When her back hit stone, a snarl left her lips. He had her pinned.  
“Are you mad?” Levi repeated his earlier question.  
Aubrey couldn’t handle it. He was teasing her.  
“Yes! I’m mad! Is that what you want to hear?!” She screamed at him and knew that had there been anyone in the rooms next door they would have heard her loud and clear.  
Levi held her still. She was writhing around, pushing and pulling in every way she could, trying to get away. He wasn’t going to let her. Not yet.  
“Tell me why.”  
Aubrey let out an irritated shriek and struggled harder against Levi’s hold. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to so much as loosen his grip.  
“Tell me why.” Levi moved closer, pressing his body against hers and restraining her even further.  
She shook with fury, feeling sure that she looked like a crazed animal. She wanted so badly to push him off her, to scream until he couldn’t take another second. But if he wanted to hear why then, fine, that’s what he would get.  
Aubrey lifted her foot, kicking Levi in the shin. The blow was hard enough that his hold on her wrists lessened for a split second. She took advantage of his error, using the opportunity to free herself.  
Instantly, her hands found his chest, shoving until he stumbled back.  
“Why?! You want to know why? I’m mad because you can’t leave this shit alone! I’m mad because you just shoved me against a wall! I’m mad because you tried to kill the only person who has been there for me from the beginning!”  
Levi came to a stop, the backs of his legs hitting the bed. Aubrey had been advancing on him and his only option had been to move back.  
“How could you fucking do that, Levi?! You told me you loved me! Tell me, how can you love someone and kill their friends at the same time?! How could you sleep with me one night and betray me the next?!”  
Levi didn’t say anything, he just let her keep going.  
“Why aren’t you saying anything! Answer me! Answer me, Levi!”  
Aubrey got even closer to him, her face just inches from his own.  
“You tricked me! You hurt me! You-!”  
Aubrey couldn’t take it anymore. He was too close, she was too passionate, and she knew he’d always been better with actions than words.  
In an instant, her hands were fisted in his hair, her lips smashing into his.  
It took Levi no time at all to respond. He’d been waiting for it to happen. In fact, if she’d hadn’t moved on him, he would have reached for her.  
His fingers twisted against her scalp, and his free arm slid around her waist, crushing her against him.  
Their mouths met again and again, teeth hitting teeth as they both clawed at each other. These kisses were unlike any they had ever shared. They were angry, harsh, cruel.  
It still wasn’t enough.  
Aubrey’s hands found Levi’s chest and she shoved. He stumbled back but there was nowhere to go. The bed hit his knees and he fell, his back hitting the mattress.  
Aubrey was on top of him in a second, her lips finding and colliding with his again.  
Levi growled against her mouth as he gathered her hair in his hand. His fingers dug into her hip but the feeling only spurred Aubrey on.  
He nails dragged down his chest and across his abdomen, leaving visible red scratches.  
Levi couldn’t handle any more. She was driving him insane.  
He flipped them over, pressing Aubrey into the bed. His hands reached for the seam of her shirt and yanked up. As soon as it was off, his mouth found her neck and his teeth sunk into the flesh.  
Aubrey gasped and dug her fingers into his back. She found his ear, nipping at it until he pulled back from her neck and his lips were back on hers. Somehow, he managed to get her bra off and Aubrey saw him toss it aimlessly across the room.  
She reached for his waistband, tugging at it until his pants were low enough for him to kick off. His underwear went next and then they both turned their attention to what was left of her own clothing.  
Levi reached for the button, struggling to undo it in his haste. After just a few seconds he grew too impatient and he pulled... hard. The button popped off and Levi tore the remainder of her clothing from her body so quickly that Aubrey’s entire body jerked.  
Levi grabbed under her arms, tossing her further onto the bed. He crawled after her, his hands finding her knees and pushing her legs apart.  
Aubrey waited for his lips to find hers but they never came. She started to raise her head to look for him but never got the chance.  
She felt his mouth between her legs and suddenly she knew exactly where he was.  
She cried out, her back arching off the bed uncontrollably.  
Levi’s arms wrapped around her thighs, his hands pushing into her hips as he held her still.  
Aubrey couldn’t help the way she was writhing around. It was too much, too overpowering. Levi’s tongue was doing things she’d never imagined it could and her body felt overloaded.  
Her toes curled and her hands flew to the back of his head, grasping tightly at strands of his hair.  
His mouth moved from one spot to another and Aubrey felt her legs trying to tighten around his head. He was making her move so fast and already, she could feel herself getting close. Her legs began to shake and her breaths came even faster.  
Levi felt the signs as her body quivered in his hands. He pulled away immediately, wiping the wetness from his lips.  
Aubrey groaned loudly, horrified that he’d stopped. She felt cold, exposed. She reached for his arm, grabbing him by the bicep and tugging until he was on top of her. Her teeth closed around his jaw and Levi grunted, both pained and pleasured.  
He moved quickly, his mouth finding hers. Aubrey gasped as she realized she was tasting herself on his tongue.  
He moved back and Aubrey soon recognized what was about to happen. She barely had time to brace herself.  
In a split second, Levi was inside her. She screamed, feeling a familiar pain. It wasn’t as horrible, but it still hurt. But this time, Levi wasn’t letting her adjust.  
His lips were back on hers as they rocked back and forth. Their pace was far more impatient, more intense than their first time. Both of them still felt the anger, the frenzy of their argument and it was carrying over to their actions.  
Aubrey felt the pain dissipate after a few movements and her mouth moved again to his jaw, biting and snapping. Her legs wrapped around his back and Levi groaned, barely noticing that her nails were digging into the skin of his shoulders.  
He shifted his weight onto one elbow as his hand traveled down her side, halting between her legs.  
Aubrey threw her head back, once again overcome by the stimulation. Small mewls and moans filled the air as she tried her best to keep up with Levi’s pace.  
It didn’t take long before the shake returned to her body. Levi felt it and dragged his teeth across the sensitive spot on her neck. Aubrey wailed, unable to contain the sensations in her body.  
The heat at her core grew and her breathing turned to panting as Levi pushed her closer to her peak.  
With just a few more movements and another drag of Levi teeth across her skin, Aubrey felt everything culminate.  
Her head pressed into the mattress and she cried out.  
Levi was there, too, and all it took was the feeling of her release to push him over the edge.  
Both of them collapsed and Levi fell down on top of her, his breathing heavy and labored.  
Aubrey held on to him, her arms hooking around his neck and her legs staying wrapped around his back.  
It didn’t take long for her to realize what had just transpired between them, to remember the horrible things she’d said to him, to feel her anger dissolve into nothing. She never imagined their fight would end in such a way. Even as she was still panting she could think of nothing but what she’d done.  
Her lips found his forehead, then his cheek, and soon she was peppering his entire face with kisses.  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Aubrey whispered the apology between kisses. She could feel tears forming in her eyes. How could she have lost control like that? How could she have let herself say such hurtful things to someone she loved?  
Levi lifted his head, his chin resting on her chest so he could look her in the eyes. He was enjoying the affection but he was… confused.  
“Why are you apologizing?”  
Aubrey stared at him, stunned that he didn’t understand.  
“I-I said all of those horrible things to you.” Aubrey paused to kiss his forehead again. “I’m sorry. I lost control. I’m sorry.”  
She leaned in again but stopped when his hand pressed to her lips.  
“Stop. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”  
Aubrey shook her head, pulling his hand away from her mouth.  
“No, I can’t believe I-”  
“Aubrey.”  
Levi’s voice was stern and authoritative. She took the hint, pressing her lips together.  
Levi sat up, pulling away and leaving Aubrey feeling cold and empty. His eyes scanned her body, going over every inch.  
“Well, first, did I hurt you?” Levi could see the small marks he’d left all over her skin and he frowned. He’d been too rough with her. He’d gotten caught up in the moment and allowed himself to get too forceful.  
Aubrey shook her head again. She couldn’t fathom how he could think such a thing.  
“No, of course not.”  
“Are you sure?” Levi’s fingers went to her neck, pressingly lightly on a bite mark that had broken the skin. Aubrey winced.  
Levi closed his eyes. Shame filling his stomach.  
Aubrey panicked, instantly trying to soothe him. “No, Levi. It’s no worse than what I did to you. Look.”  
She sat up, gently running her hands over his chest and abdomen. The scratches she’d given him were still raised and red and there were a few spots where her nails had pressed hard enough to draw blood.  
A single tear rolled down her cheek. She’d hurt him.  
Levi wiped away the tear and pulled her into his lap, holding her tightly.  
“You did nothing wrong. I provoked you. I… I wanted you to yell at me, to get it out. You’re angry, and you should be.”  
Aubrey trembled against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder.  
“But, Levi, the things I said-”  
“You meant them. Or at least halfway meant them. That’s fine. They were all true. I just…” He trailed off for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “I just want you to know that I do love you.”  
Aubrey was frozen against him. She hadn’t been expecting him to be so… okay. Could he really not blame her at all?  
Tears fell down her face, landing on his bare skin. She gripped him harder, pushing her lips into his shoulder.  
“I love you, too.”  
Levi sighed, happy to have resolved the matter for the moment. He’d urge her to talk to him again later but, for now, he was much too focused on the bloody bite mark on her neck. Both of them were covered in sweat, spit, and fluids of every kind.  
“We’re going back to the bath.”  
Aubrey huffed a small laugh into his chest. Of course they were. She nodded.  
Levi shifted, his legs going over the edge of the bed. He stood, still holding her in his arms, and headed for the bathroom.  
If they were lucky, the water might still be warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I seriously debated posting this chapter as it is because this is certainly not the healthiest way to deal with problems in a relationship lol. BUT, both of these characters have no prior relationship experience and they certainly haven’t had any examples of HEALTHY relationships. Plus, from what I’ve written so far, the two of them are rather inclined to turn to physical touch (at least behind closed doors). They’re touch-starved, okay?  
> Anyway, I ended up leaving it how it is because I thought it was a good fit for their characters. And, y’all got another smut chapter. I died a little bit while writing it lol. This one was a little more… spicy.  
> I’m happy that everyone seems to be liking (Y/N)’s backstory! It’s important for book 2, especially. Speaking of book 2, we’re getting close to the end of this story. I’d say 5 more chapters give or take a couple. Very exciting :)  
> Also, PLEASE leave a comment. Even if it’s just a few words I still love them. A serious serotonin shot for me. Thanks, love y’all :)


	39. Chapter 39

Their bath was warm and comforting, though Levi did most of the work. Aubrey still felt weak and her muscles were exhausted, both from their physical activities and the emotional strain. The best she could do was kiss his skin and run her hands over his chest while he washed her.  
Levi did his best to be gentle when he went over the mark on her neck. Every time he saw it, he felt a surge of shame.  
He kissed the bite and then Aubrey’s lips, trying to apologize. He did that with every imprint, scratch, and bruise he found, hoping she understood just how horrible he felt.  
Aubrey got the message. After a while, she couldn’t stand to see the guilty look on his face any longer and she moved into him, locking their lips together. Tears fell down her cheeks as she kissed him, urging him to understand that everything was alright, that he hadn’t hurt her, that she didn’t blame him. After all, she’d done the exact same damage.  
Eventually, they ran out of breath and laid against each other in the bath until the water went cold.  
Levi got out first, helping Aubrey to stand up behind him. He handed her a towel and watched as she dried herself, eventually wrapping it around herself until she could find her clothes.  
Aubrey nearly laughed when she thought about how many times she’d dressed and undressed in the last day. It was a little ridiculous. A certain someone couldn’t seem to keep his hands off.  
Aubrey smiled when Levi handed her a toothbrush. His was already in his mouth and as soon as she took it, he returned to scrubbing his teeth while walking out to the main room. When he returned he had their clothes in his hands. He handed over everything that was hers and spit in the sink before dressing himself. Aubrey did the same but paused when she got to her pants. The button was missing and she suddenly remembered a heated Levi getting a little too impatient.  
“You broke my pants.” Aubrey raised an eyebrow at him, an amused expression on her face.  
Levi’s eyes traveled to where the fabric was frayed, recalling how he’d torn the clothing off in haste.  
He smirked. “They were in the way.”  
Aubrey couldn’t help but laugh, but not just because of his snarky comment. That smirk on his lips was the closest he’d come to a smile since the expedition. The sight made her hopeful.  
Levi grabbed her hand, pulling her back to the room but paused when he realized that her legs had yet to regain their strength. He opted to just carry her instead.  
He scooped her off the floor and eventually set her down in the desk chair. When he had her settled, he headed for the bed, ripping off the sheets and tossing them into the corner of the room. They were no doubt disgusting.  
He made his way to the small closet and searched until he found a new set of bedding.  
Aubrey’s eyes widened. How many sets of sheets did that closet have?  
Levi had the bed made in minutes and Aubrey had to hold in a laugh. A clean freak in his element.  
The second he finished, he strode toward her, lifting her easily from the chair. He had both of them lying on the mattress in no time at all.  
He pulled her close and her back pressed into his chest as they lay on their sides, their legs twining together automatically.  
Levi kissed the back of her head and wrapped his arm around her waist. Aubrey snuggled back against him, running her fingers up and down his forearm in an unconscious motion.  
She felt comfortable, content, and, in a way, she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Levi had opened her up to the discussion of Erwin and, while it might not have been the most professional conversation, she knew that they could begin to work through it. He loved her, she loved him. As long as they had that, they would make it.  
Aubrey glanced at the window. The curtains were still closed but she could see some brighter daylight coming through the cracks. She guessed that it was around mid-morning.  
She sighed. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. She was exhausted.  
And yet, she didn’t feel like she could sleep yet. There was still so much to be said, so much to be done. Plus she was afraid to leave Levi alone with nothing but his thoughts.  
“Oi.”  
Levi’s voice broke her from her own thoughts.  
“Hm?”  
Aubrey continued stroking his forearm, curious to hear what he would say.  
“We’re missing training.”  
For a moment, it was silent and then Aubrey barked out a laugh. She couldn’t believe that training had even crossed his mind. It was so ridiculous that she only stopped giggling when Levi finally spoke up.  
“Oi, what’s so funny?”  
Aubrey reigned in her laughs and shifted so that she was facing him. She was still smiling when her eyes finally met his. She struggled to keep herself under control as she explained.  
“There is no training today. There’s never training the day after an expedition.”  
Levi narrowed his eyes.  
“Hmph.”  
Levi rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. Aubrey couldn’t help but chuckle again as she stared at his profile. He looked far too grumpy for having made such a small error. Though, her laughing at him probably hadn’t helped.  
She scooted closer to him, resting her head on his chest and reaching up to clasp her hands around his neck.  
“There is training tomorrow, though. I’ll have to go see Erwin tonight and tell him that we won’t be showing up for at least a few more days.”  
Aubrey winced. The thought of speaking to Erwin put her on edge. She was still angry with him and she wasn’t exactly sure how their encounter would go down. Would she explode on him like she had with Levi? If she did that, their argument would probably end in the infirmary rather than the bed.  
“What do you mean?”  
Aubrey was broken from her thoughts at the sound of Levi’s voice. His tone was serious, grim even. She had to take a minute to think back to what she’d said. Her mind had wandered too far into the future.  
“Well, um, we won’t be going to training so I’ll need to get us excused.”  
Levi started to sit up and Aubrey had to scramble to move back.  
“Why aren’t we going to training?”  
Uh oh. Aubrey could sense another argument coming on. She braced herself. Hopefully she’d be able to keep her pants on this time.  
She swallowed, preparing for whatever reaction he might have.  
“Levi, it’s only been a day. You need… time.”  
Levi’s eyes went hard and he scoffed.  
“I’m not made of glass, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey shook her head, raising her hands to his face.  
“I know that but you are human. Loss hurts and you… you’ve lost a lot.”  
Levi’s eyes went from hard to fiery in an instant.  
“I’m going.”  
Aubrey could hear the panic in her own voice when she spoke.  
“No, Levi. I can’t let you do that.”  
Levi’s hand went to her wrist, squeezing tightly.  
“Can you stop me?”  
Aubrey didn’t know what to say. She didn’t think she could.  
Long seconds of silence passed as the two of them stared each other down. Aubrey could see the determination in his gaze and she suddenly realized that she really couldn’t stop him. But if she couldn’t stop him… maybe she could get him to make a deal.  
“Fine.”  
Levi was slightly shocked by her yield. She’d hardly backed down to him before. His eyes lost their harshness and he waited, hoping she would explain.  
“But I have conditions.”  
There it was.  
“What kind of conditions?”  
Aubrey took a deep breath, taking her time to think about anything she might want to include. She only had one shot.  
Finally, after several rounds of internal banter, she came to a conclusion. She knew what she wanted. She took one more deep breath and began.  
“First, I want you on the Special Operations Squad. I want to be able to keep an eye on you.”  
Levi raised an eyebrow but didn’t respond. He wasn’t going to say anything until she was done.  
Aubrey saw that he was expecting her to continue and she hurried on to her next demand.  
“Second, I want you to take a room in the castle. All members of Special Ops are offered one. I want you out of the barracks.” And out of a room full of memories. Aubrey was careful not to mention how Levi’s dorm would now serve as a reminder of his best friend. The next time he walked into it, he’d have to face the half that would be empty forever. At least if he moved into the castle, he wouldn’t have to face that half for long.  
Aubrey shook her head, ridding her mind of the lingering thoughts. She still had one more condition.  
“And lastly, I want you to tell me why you feel the need to go to training.”  
That request also stemmed from her personal experience. After her friends’ deaths, Aubrey had thrown herself into work. It was the only way she could avoid thinking about the pain. But it had done her more harm than good. Here she was, months later, and she still hadn’t been able to clean Tika’s half of the room. She’d pushed everything down so far that it had left her incapable of healing. She didn’t want Levi to make the same mistake.  
Levi stared at her, trying to make out her expression. For once, it was nearly as neutral as his own.  
He considered her words but it didn’t take him long to reach a decision. Soon, he was opening his mouth to answer.  
“Fine. I’ll join your Special Operations Squad, it makes no difference to me. Maybe I can keep you from being such an idiot all the time. Who knows what kind of shit you get yourself into when I’m not around.”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes. He was ridiculous, He’d been a troublemaker ever since he arrived.  
Nonetheless, Aubrey agreed.  
“Okay, good. Next.”  
Levi smirked, pleased that she’d settled but also because he was looking forward to seeing her reaction to his next response.  
“As for your second request…”  
Levi paused. He wasn’t ready to answer quite yet.  
He leaned forward and Aubrey’s eyes widened as he came closer. She reminded herself to keep her shirt on. He kept leaning and leaning and soon Aubrey had no choice but to bend and make room for him, her back hitting the bed for the millionth time. He hovered over her, hands on each side of her head as he stared down at her. The smirk was still on his lips.  
“I’ll take a room in the castle as long as you take it with me.”  
Aubrey’s mouth popped open. He wanted her to… live with him?  
Her mind raced and the only thought she could make out was that she wanted to hear him say it again. Her hands reached for his cheeks and her eyes searched his, desperate to take in every aspect of his expression.  
“Tell me again.”  
Levi’s smirk grew wider and wider and eventually there was a small smile on his lips. A smile.  
Aubrey felt her own lips twitch and soon she was grinning up at him, anxious to hear him utter the same words over again.  
Levi leaned down, his mouth stopping next to her ear.  
Aubrey could feel his breath on her skin and she shuddered as adrenaline rushed through her body. She strained her hearing, waiting for the smallest sound. Finally, she got her wish and Levi whispered gently into the silence.  
“I want you to take a room with me.”  
Aubrey couldn’t contain herself any longer. She pulled his face to hers, their noses just millimeters apart. She was still grinning as she looked up at him, knowing that he could see the absolute happiness on her features. She sucked in a breath.  
“Okay.”  
She thought she saw a flash of Levi’s teeth as his smile grew even wider but she didn’t get to look for long. His lips hit hers with a gentle intensity and Aubrey kissed him back, a giggle escaping her when he broke away.  
He moved instantly to her neck, his tongue finding the all-too-familiar sensitive spot. She gasped and he moved on, trailing across her collar bone.  
Aubrey could barely think. His lips were as intoxicating as ever and the excitement from the previous moment was still running rampantly through her veins. But there was something she needed to remember…  
It came back to her as soon as Levi’s hand slipped beneath the fabric of her shirt.  
Right, keep the clothes on.  
Aubrey grabbed at his wrist, catching his attention. She knew just what to say.  
“I think you still have another condition to follow through with.”  
Levi groaned, his head dropping into the crook of her neck. The last thing he wanted right now was to talk about training.  
“Later.”  
His mouth started again, his lips kissing behind her ear and moving quickly over all of the skin he could find.  
Aubrey clawed at him, yanking on his hair.  
“Levi, let me keep my pants on for more than fifteen minutes, please.”  
He grunted, finally pulling back and he shot her an annoyed look. Why should her pants stay on?  
Aubrey just laughed at him. He was always so impatient.  
She sat up, pushing against his chest. It was her turn to be in charge.  
Soon, they’d reversed positions. Now Levi was on his back with Aubrey hovering over him.  
“You still have another response to give me.”  
Levi stared up at her. He was finding it exceedingly difficult to keep his hands off her. She was just so… tempting.  
His mind was clouded and it took him a while before he felt like he could even begin to form an answer.  
Eventually, though, he was able to focus on what she’d requested of him. She wanted to know why he insisted on going to training.  
Levi sighed. His answer wasn’t all that complex.  
“I want to go because I’ve decided to stay.”  
Aubrey furrowed her brows. By ‘stay’ she figured he meant stay with the Scouts.  
Up until now, she hadn’t even let the thought of Levi leaving cross her mind. It was too painful. Every time her mind had steered her toward it, she’d pushed it down and refused to even acknowledge it as an option.  
But now, she was confused. She was overwhelmingly relieved to have confirmation that he was staying with her but… what did that have to do with training?  
“Levi, you can stay and still miss a few days of training. Erwin will understand.”  
Levi closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.  
“Ah, see, he’s the reason I have to go.”  
Aubrey was only growing more puzzled by the second.  
“What do you mean?”  
Levi opened his eyes again, watching Aubrey‘s reaction carefully.  
“He said something before you got to me. It’s like… he has a bigger goal, like he can see something I can’t. And you… you follow him so… intensely. So I will, too.”  
Aubrey didn’t know what to say. Levi had obviously fallen subject to one of Erwin’s speeches. She couldn’t blame him. She had, too.  
“If I’m going to be a part of this shitty regiment, I should at least show up to your fucking training.”  
Aubrey didn’t speak yet. She had a feeling there was more.  
“Not to mention I don’t think I can handle sitting in this crappy room all day. I need to do something.”  
That was the answer she was afraid of.  
Aubrey placed a hand on his cheek. She was satisfied with what he’d told her. She’d let him go to training. She just had one thing to add.  
“Levi…”  
His gaze dug into her and she struggled to stay put under the intensity. It took strength to finish her sentence.  
“Just promise me that when you come home, you won’t hold it in. Go to training, forget about everything. But when we come home, I want you to lean on me, okay?”  
Levi didn’t speak. His only response was pulling her lips to his.  
Aubrey melted into him. All she could think about was how much she loved him, how much she wished she could take the pain away. In such a short amount of time he’d become essential to her survival. Without him, she’d wither away.  
Levi kissed her slowly, only breaking away when they both ran out of air.  
Aubrey collapsed onto his chest and his arms wrapped around her shoulders.  
She felt the exhaustion creeping back in but fought it. She still couldn’t leave Levi alone. His mind would have nowhere to go but the past.  
They lay there for a few minutes but despite her efforts, Aubrey felt her eyelids begin to droop.  
She propped herself up, rubbing at her eyes in an attempt to wake up.  
“You’re tired.”  
Aubrey shook her head, trying to brush off the comment.  
“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”  
Levi narrowed his eyes and soon he reached for her, finding it easy to manipulate her body when she was so exhausted. He shifted them onto their sides, sliding his arm under her neck for support and pulling her head into his chest.  
“Sleep.”  
Aubrey tried to resist, feebly pushing him away but she found herself too weak to make any real difference.  
“I can’t leave you alone.”  
Levi sighed. She was ridiculous.  
“I’ll sleep, too. Close your eyes.”  
Aubrey stopped fighting.  
“You’re really going to sleep?”  
“Yes. Now give it up.”  
Levi knew he probably wouldn’t be able to actually drift off but he could tell that she desperately needed to rest. He’d say whatever it took to get her to sleep.  
Aubrey paused for a moment. She still doubted his words but the idea of closing her eyes was just too tempting. She’d just take a short nap.  
She felt all resistance leave her body and she snuggled further into his chest. He was so warm that she was sure she wouldn’t need a blanket.  
It took almost no time at all for the drowsiness to return and in a matter of minutes she felt herself drifting off.  
Levi watched her relax, happy to see that she had finally fallen asleep.  
He resolved to not move a muscle until she woke. If his presence was all it took for her to find peace then he’d stay still; not a single nightmare would bother her. Not now, not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter was a little more fluffy and a LOT more lighthearted lol. I hope everyone enjoyed! Next chapter will include the Erwin confrontation and then I’ll start wrapping things up pretty quickly.  
> I think I’ve said this before but Book 2 will take place 10 years in the future. We’ll go from the No Regrets era to the AOT Season 1 era. I’m really excited about starting it! I’ve been waiting lol.  
> Anyway, back to the actual chapter. I hope the “moving in” part wasn’t too cheesy. I couldn’t resist. I’m a sucker for some cute fluff. Plus, you’ve always got to make up for fights with some cuteness lol.  
> Y’all are leaving me some GREAT comments. I died while reading them for the last chapter. I think the general consensus is that it was SPICY. Keep leaving them if you can! I enjoy them immensely :)


	40. Chapter 40

The first thing Aubrey noticed when she woke was the darkness. The only light was a dull glow from the dying embers of the fire.  
Her eyes slid over to the window, seeing that not a single sliver of sun was shining through. She’d slept the day away.  
Aubrey scrambled to sit up. She was still drowsy but she was already feeling panicked about having left Levi alone for so long. How could she have been so careless?  
“Oi.”  
Aubrey’s eyes flew to the sound, finding Levi next to her.  
“What’s wrong?” His voice was filled with concern and Aubrey could just barely make out the way his brows were lowered over his eyes.  
She flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing kisses all over his face.  
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to sleep for so long! Why didn’t you wake me?!”  
“Tch.”  
Levi pushed her back gently, stopping the frenzy of kisses. He was annoyed by her inability to just enjoy her rest but most of him felt relieved. When she’d woken so violently he’d been worried that perhaps a nightmare had slipped through. For all he knew, she could have been suffering for hours and failing to show any physical signs. Thankfully, that didn’t seem to be the case.  
“Don’t be an idiot. I didn’t wake you because there was no reason to.”  
Aubrey stared at him wide eyed. She searched his features for any kind of distress, hoping that her absence hadn’t left him alone and in pain.  
She looked and looked but she couldn’t find anything but his usual neutrality… and maybe a bit of annoyance.  
When she felt confident that he wasn’t spiraling, she moved back toward him, crawling into his lap and wrapping her legs around him. She sighed.  
“You’re sure you’re alright?”  
Aubrey pressed her forehead to his.  
Levi rolled his eyes but still nodded and wrapped his arms around her back. The biggest problem he’d had was missing her while she was out. Every time his thoughts had started to wander into dangerous territory, he’d just focused on her face, memorizing every line and angle. It had worked. Or at least it had worked enough for him to stay calm.  
Aubrey sighed. She was still worried but she had to admit that she was grateful for the rest. She felt rejuvenated. Maybe now she would have the energy to face her next task.  
“We have to go see Erwin.”  
Levi pulled away from her enough to see her eyes.  
“I thought we already solved that problem.”  
She nodded.  
“We did. But, unfortunately, you don’t just appear on the Special Operations Squad. You have to be placed there. By him. And…” Aubrey took a deep breath. “I think it’s time I hear him out.”  
Aubrey winced when she mentioned the topic of their former argument. They hadn’t necessarily resolved the issue, just lessened its ability to fester.  
To her surprise, Levi just leaned back into her and hummed his approval.  
After a moment of slight shock, she moved further into him, her chin resting on his shoulder as she spoke.  
“I think we should go now.”  
“Now?”  
Aubrey nodded. If her estimate of the time was correct, Erwin was probably in his office doing his nightly paperwork. And if they hurried, they might be able to make it to the Mess Hall for dinner. She wouldn’t force Levi to go but she would feel much better if she could get a proper meal in him.  
“Do you want to get dinner first?”  
“In the Hall?”  
“Mhm.”  
There was a pause as Levi considered. After being alone in a room with Aubrey for so long, the Mess Hall just seemed so… crowded. But other than that, he couldn’t really think of a reason to object.  
“Fine.”  
Aubrey placed a quick kiss on his neck before she pulled away, moving out of his lap and off the bed.  
By now she felt fairly awake and alert but a light haze of sleep still hung over her. It took her a moment to remember where she'd ultimately left the stachel. Eventually, it came to her and she recalled taking it to the bath before their fight.  
She went into the bathroom, finding it lying on the floor in the corner. She rummaged around in it, eventually finding the extra pair of pants she’s packed. She certainly couldn’t wear the ones she had on now. With the button torn off, they could hardly be expected to actually function as pants. She removed the old pair from her legs and had the new ones on in seconds.  
When she returned to the main room she saw that Levi was finishing the laces on his boots. He’d already found hers and had them neatly waiting for her beside him. Aubrey couldn’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness.  
She sunk onto the bed next to him, pulling on her shoes just as Levi finished with his. Without saying a word he kneeled at her feet, working on the laces for her.  
Aubrey paused for a moment, her heart swelling with affection. How could he be so… perfect?  
She watched him as he worked. His fingers were swift and steady and he had her laces finished far faster than she would have.  
When he stood Aubrey looked up at him, unable to fathom how she’d gotten so lucky. She got to see a side of him that she was sure very few even knew existed.  
Her arms reached up at him but weren’t quite long enough to wrap around his neck. It didn’t matter, though. Levi got the message.  
He leaned down, putting his lips on hers as her fingers combed through his hair. The kiss didn’t last long but it left him breathless anyway. Something about it had been so… soft.  
When he felt strong enough, he stepped away, extending his hand as he helped Aubrey to her feet.  
As soon as she was up, he loosened his grip but Aubrey laced their fingers together.  
“Hold my hand?” Aubrey did her best to make the question a true question. She knew he wasn’t a fan of public affection and if he didn’t want to, she wouldn’t be offended.  
Levi glanced down at their hands. Her fingers fit perfectly with his own and he had to admit that having her constant touch was comforting. The thought of unlocking their fingers was far more painful than the idea of people seeing. If somebody wanted to mention it, a kick to the groin would probably shut them up.  
Levi squeezed gently and lifted the back of her hand to his lips. A silent ‘yes’.  
Aubrey smiled at him. She knew their walk would be easier if she could keep her hand in his.  
With that, Levi pulled her toward the door.  
Once she was in the hall, Aubrey took a deep breath. The air was slightly colder outside of their room and it filled her lungs, waking her up even further.  
As soon as she heard Levi shut the door behind them, she moved forward.  
Her hand continued to grip his as she led them through the corridors of the castle. They wouldn’t have to go outside and it would only take them a few minutes to get to their destination. The Mess Hall was just downstairs. Aubrey sighed… The perks of Special Ops.  
Neither of them spoke the whole way. It wasn’t until the sounds of the Mess Hall filled the air that Aubrey glanced at Levi. He was already staring at her.  
Her eyes scanned the hall, looking for signs of anyone approaching. She heard no footsteps and saw no shadows and so she stepped toward Levi, placing a comforting kiss on his jaw. His eyes closed at the touch but opened again as soon as she backed away. Aubrey shot him a small smile before tugging on his hand and moving them along.  
As they rounded the corner into the Mess Hall, Aubrey’s eyes instantly searched for Erwin. His table was empty and she exhaled in relief. She wasn’t ready to face him yet. Especially not in such a public setting.  
A few pointed whispers hit Aubrey’s ears as she pulled Levi into the room. Word of what had happened to Squad Flagon had no doubt spread throughout the regiment by now. Plus, her and Levi’s display on the field before the expedition probably wasn’t helping matters. She was sure they were the talk of the town.  
Aubrey squeezed Levi’s hand as they walked to the back of the room and approached the food tables. It looked like the usual. Potatoes, green beans, some kind of soup. Whatever it was, it was better than the bits of dried meat and bread that she had in their room.  
They had almost made it to the food when Aubrey’s eyes locked with a familiar gaze.  
Hange.  
She was sitting with her squad, though she seemed to be the outcast. No surprise there.  
Aubrey nodded but Hange’s expression didn’t change. She was staring with a mixture of concern and curiosity.  
Aubrey looked away. She’d be talking to her friend later. After all, she had a promise to keep.  
Finally, Aubrey reached the back tables and she unlocked her fingers from Levi’s. She’d need both hands to fill a tray.  
She peeked at his expression as she loaded whatever food was in front of her onto her plate. He was as neutral as ever but Aubrey could only hope that he was as calm on the inside as he appeared on the outside.  
Her hand soon found his again and her eyes scanned for a place to sit.  
The first thing she noticed was the empty table where Isabel and Furlan had always been waiting for them. Aubrey nearly choked but held it back for Levi’s sake.  
She forced her eyes to move on. She looked until she found a spot in the corner. The table was empty and there weren’t any large groups near it.  
The second she found the seats she was guiding Levi across the room, trying to ignore the stares she could feel hitting her from all angles. The staring was annoying, but nothing more than that. She hoped Levi felt the same.  
As soon as they reached the table, Aubrey turned to her tray. She suddenly realized that she was starving. The ration bar at dawn hadn’t held up very well. It wasn’t long before she was inhaling her food but a squeeze of her thigh from Levi reminded her to slow down.  
The two of them ate silently. There wasn’t really much to say. Levi’s hand on her thigh was warm and comforting and it helped her to prepare for what was to come. A confrontation with Erwin, a possible argument, maybe even tears. She’d have to be ready for the turmoil she would likely face.  
Finally, Aubrey finished eating, looking over to see that Levi was done, too. She was happy to see that he’d eaten everything on his tray without her having to coax him. It seemed like a good sign.  
Without saying anything, Aubrey rose from her seat and when Levi stood up next to her, she locked his fingers with hers once again. She would need him as she walked.  
They made their way to the back to discard their plates and then headed for the exit.  
But Aubrey halted when she remembered something crucial. A promise she had to keep.  
Aubrey dragged Levi over to Hange’s table. Her friend didn’t even see her coming and she jumped when Aubrey leaned down to whisper in her ear.  
“Come to Erwin’s office in thirty minutes.”  
Aubrey didn’t stay to see her reaction.  
She turned on her heel, heading for the exit with Levi trailing behind her.  
As soon as they were in the hall, he gave her a puzzled look.  
“What was that?”  
Aubrey almost didn’t hear him. She’d already been returning to her thoughts about the future.  
“Oh, um… I made a promise to Hange a long time ago. I’m following through with it.”  
Levi raised a brow.  
“And that means having her come to Erwin’s office in thirty minutes?”  
For a second, Aubrey was surprised that he’d been able to hear her whisper but then wondered why she’d assumed he hadn’t. He practically had super senses.  
She chuckled and nodded. She wasn’t going to elaborate any further. He’d find out soon enough.  
The two of them walked back through the corridors of the castle but this time Aubrey took her usual path to Erwin’s office. It was almost time.  
Their heels clicked against the floors and Aubrey’s breaths grew longer and heavier the closer they got. She was trying to keep herself calm. It was only halfway working.  
Finally, Erwin’s office door came into view and Aubrey felt her chest tighten. Levi sensed her discomfort, gripping her hand more tightly as they finally came to a stop.  
Aubrey took a deep breath. She could do this. She had to do this. There was no other way. She was going to go in there, sit down, and talk to him. If she got angry, so be it. If she broke something, so be it. If she cried, so be it. But, no matter what, she was going to leave this office with the wounds ready to heal. She was going to leave nothing undiscussed.  
She ran the plan through her head too many times to count, her eyes closed as she focused. After what could have been seconds or minutes, she turned to look at Levi.  
She stepped closer to him, raising her free hand to his cheek.  
“I love you.” No matter what happened inside that office, she wanted him to remember that.  
His lips found hers and they shared a brief moment before Aubrey broke away. Without pausing, she knocked on Erwin’s door. There was no backing out now.  
Almost immediately, she heard the words that made her heart skip a beat.  
“Come in.”  
Aubrey forced her hand to reach for the doorknob and without thinking she turned it and shoved, walking into the room she’d visited so many times.  
Levi’s hand was still clutched tightly in hers and he followed her in, halting at her side. He watched as Erwin’s eyes shifted from Aubrey to him and back again. He looked a little surprised, but not shocked, to see them.  
Aubrey turned around, shutting and locking the door behind her. She didn’t want any interruptions.  
She turned back to Erwin, staring him down as she felt the familiar heat of anger in her chest.  
Immediately, she let go of Levi’s hand, barely glancing at him when she spoke.  
“Sit.”  
For a second he stood there, debating whether or not he should actually leave her side. He could tell that she was already getting upset and wasn’t sure that moving away was the wisest choice.  
But, another hard look from her was all it took to make him realize that he should follow her instruction. This was her battle.  
Levi moved slowly to the couch, sitting but staying on the edge of his seat. He wanted to be ready just in case she needed him.  
When she saw that he was settled, Aubrey turned her attention back to Erwin. The two of them stared at each other, wordless communication flashing in their eyes.  
Eventually, their contest ended when Aubrey worked up the strength to speak.  
“We’re going to talk.”  
Erwin leaned back in his chair, his eyes glowing.  
“Very well. What about?”  
Aubrey had to hold in a snarl. Why was he always so civil?  
“I think you know.”  
Erwin sighed.  
“Yes, but you’ll have to be a bit more specific.”  
Aubrey pushed her fingernails into her palms.  
“Levi told me about his job. About the documents, about his plans to kill you.” She paused and Erwin waited, his hands locking together. “You knew about it? All of it?”  
Everything was quiet. Aubrey could feel herself beginning to shake. The confusion, the anger, the hurt, it was all too much.  
Levi watched her carefully, ready to be at her side in an instant.  
Finally, Erwin answered.  
“Yes. I knew.”  
Aubrey snapped.  
She moved forward, her hands slamming down on his desk. Papers flew into the air and the wood creaked under the force of the blow.  
Before a single sheet of paperwork had even hit the ground, Levi was behind her, an arm wrapped around her waist. He’d drag her away if he had to.  
“You knew and you still let them go? Why? Why?”  
Erwin’s eyes flashed to where Levi was holding her steady. He hadn’t been expecting such a display of closeness between the two of them. For just a second, it threw him off.  
“Why, Erwin?”  
Aubrey’s choked voice brought him back to the discussion. He could see the tears in her eyes and an intense pang of guilt went through him. He’d caused her so much pain. He hoped it would be worth it in the end.  
“It was their choice.”  
Aubrey’s entire body went rigid. Levi tightened his grip and braced himself. He could sense another wave of anger coming on.  
But when Aubrey finally spoke it was just above a whisper.  
“Their choice?”  
Erwin took a deep breath. He might not be showing it but this conversation was exceedingly difficult for him. He’d made the sacrifices he’d thought were necessary. This time, it happened to include human lives. That was something he would live with for the rest of his life. From what he could tell, he’d successfully gotten Levi to join them... but it had come at a price. Perhaps it was a price too steep for Aubrey to ever forgive him.  
“Yes, Aubrey, their choice. And I had no right to take it from them.”  
Aubrey froze for the second time. She’d heard those words before, but in her own mind. Every time she’d thought about forcing someone to stay behind the walls, they’d run through her mind. Jack, Tika, Furlan, Isabel, Levi… she’d wanted all of them to stay in, to stay safe. And yet, she knew what it was to have choice taken away from her. She could never do that to someone else, no matter how dire the consequences.  
But it still didn’t seem good enough. Everything had gone so horribly wrong. Levi may have made peace with Erwin, but Aubrey had yet to forgive him.  
“They didn’t have to die, Erwin.” Aubrey’s voice was eerily calm.  
Erwin stood, his hands pressing onto the desk as he leaned toward her. Levi held her even tighter. If she stretched far enough, she’d be able to reach Erwin. He didn’t want her to do any damage she would regret.  
“I know. You might think me a monster right now, but know that I did not want them to die. I… I’m sorry. Their deaths will not be in vain.” Aubrey didn’t see but Erwin glanced at Levi as he apologized. It was meant for both of them.  
Aubrey felt the tears in her eyes begin to spill over. Soon, her cheeks were soaked and she was sobbing. Her hand reached out and she had almost touched Erwin’s collar when Levi pulled her back a step. She just kept reaching.  
“It’s alright, Levi. Let her go.”  
Levi’s eyes flashed to Erwin’s. It was the first time they’d directly spoken to each other since the expedition.  
Levi still hesitated. Aubrey was shaking in his arms and he had half a mind to simply pick her up and carry her out of the room. But by the way she was still leaning toward Erwin, he knew that wasn’t what she wanted. He would just have to trust her.  
Slowly, Levi loosened his grip on her waist. He went little by little, making sure that she could stand on her own. Then, finally, when he was sure he could let her go, his arm slipped away.  
Aubrey didn’t waste any time. She crawled onto the desk, grabbing Erwin’s shirt and pushing her face into his shoulder.  
She sat there sobbing and pounding her hands against his chest until his arms finally wrapped around her.  
He’d held her like this before, after the most traumatic time in her life. He’d embraced her just the same way on the day that she’d lost everything. She’d forgiven him back then and she knew that she’d forgive him again. She’d never doubted that. She’d just needed some kind of… answer.  
Maybe it wasn’t the best answer but she thought that… maybe she could live with it. She still believed what Erwin had told her as she’d sat in the company of her dead friends. Their losses were painful, horrible, and yet they would only make her stronger. Maybe she’d be able to use that strength to make sure their deaths weren’t pointless.  
And then, as much as she hated to admit it, the choices that Levi had made had led him to her. If he hadn’t chosen to take that job, chosen to follow through with it, she never would have known him. She would have gone on with her life, never knowing how big of a piece she was missing.  
Aubrey felt herself growing weaker every second. Even her tears had started to dry because she simply didn’t have the energy to shed them.  
Her arms moved around Erwin’s neck and he pulled her closer, picking her up off the desk. Slowly, he carried her to the couch, setting her down gently and kneeling before her. He glanced up at her and saw the bleak expression on her face. He sighed. Seeing her so exhausted, pained, and hurt made the ache in his chest flare even hotter.  
Finally, he stood and he looked to Levi. He’d done all he could, now she needed someone else.  
Erwin turned and headed for the door but halted when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down, seeing that Aubrey was gripping him weakly, silent tears still streaming down her face. He shifted back to her, kneeling once again. She had something to tell him.  
Ever so slowly, her hands found his face. She stared into his eyes. Those eyes had comforted her, consoled her, helped her through countless trials. Only now did she notice the dark circles beneath them that served as evidence of his exhaustion. When she looked closer, it was easy to see the sadness on his features. A pain struck her chest. No matter who she lost, what he did, she would always care for him. He would always be her rock.  
“Erwin.” Aubrey’s voice was hoarse and barely above a whisper. The sobbing had gotten to her.  
He gazed back at her, listening closely.  
“Stay alive.”  
Erwin closed his eyes, remembering that she’d said the same thing to him on the field before the expedition. She was trying to tell him she still needed him or maybe she was saying that she couldn’t handle another loss. Either way, he would do his best to make her wish come true.  
He nodded.  
Aubrey’s hands fell from his face and he stood again, walking out the door. He knew Aubrey would need some time to recover before she could discuss anything else and, from the way Levi was looking at her, he expected he should leave them alone for a minute.  
Levi hesitated when Erwin left. He didn’t know where to go, what to do. But he had to do something.  
He started by taking Erwin’s spot at her feet. When he saw the hurt expression on her features, he nearly flinched. She looked so… lost.  
He was surprised when her hand reached for his cheek and she lowered her head to his, pressing their foreheads together. She was still shaking and Levi could feel it in her touch.  
In an instant, he’d risen from his spot on the ground and was seated beside her on the couch. His arm slid around her back and he tugged lightly on her waist: an invitation.  
Aubrey turned to him, thankful for his presence and the comfort he offered her. She crawled closer, seating herself in his lap and burying herself in his shirt.  
She was still horrified, still trembling, but every moment that passed calmed her further. She had to get it together, had to regain her composure. She still had plenty of talking to do.  
Aubrey focused on her breaths, trying to match them to Levi’s. At first, it seemed impossible. She was still so rattled and grief and sadness were still running rampantly through her. But the more she concentrated, the more she forced herself to breathe, the easier it became.  
Eventually, she started to calm down and she pulled away from Levi’s chest. She looked up at him and his hand came to her face, wiping away the still drying tears. She exhaled sharply and ran her fingers through her hair, smoothing it down. She felt steady, but she was afraid to leave Levi’s lap. Right now, he was the one grounding her.  
His hand moved to her neck and Aubrey leaned into his touch. It was the last bit of encouragement she needed to move away, out of his lap, and onto her own piece of couch. His hand found hers immediately, never allowing a second to pass where they weren’t touching in some way.  
Aubrey put her elbow on her knee and put her head in her hand. She just needed a few more minutes. Then she’d be able to continue.  
Unfortunately, though, she wouldn’t get those extra minutes. Erwin returned with a tray of tea in his hands, setting it down on the table and locking the door once again.  
Aubrey felt Levi’s hand tighten around her fingers and she squeezed back, even if it was a little weak. She’d just have to push through and start talking now.  
Aubrey watched as Erwin poured a cup of tea, adding milk and sugar before and moving toward her. He placed the cup in her free hand and then returned to the table.  
Aubrey stared at him. She didn’t think she’d actually be drinking anything but his gesture was kind. He was still the sweet and thoughtful person she knew him to be.  
“Levi?”  
Erwin raised an eyebrow, asking if he wanted a cup. The tension in the air was palpable.  
“I can get it myself.” Levi’s voice was completely monotone.  
Erwin nodded, instead pouring some tea for himself. As soon as he finished he returned to his desk, sitting down and leaning back in his chair.  
“I assume we have more to discuss?”  
Aubrey met his eyes and saw the steadiness there. He was always so calm. She hoped she could be, too.  
She took a deep breath, surprised when her lungs didn’t shudder. Maybe she was actually going to make it through without breaking again.  
“Yes. I have some requests.”  
Erwin examined her quietly. She seemed to have recovered somewhat but he could see she was still drained.  
“Go on.”  
Aubrey inhaled.  
“I want Levi on Special Ops, starting tomorrow.”  
Erwin barely paused.  
“Done.”  
Aubrey’s eyes widened. She hadn’t been expecting that to be so… easy. But she’d take what she could get.  
She moved on quickly, hoping that he’d agree just as quickly to her next demand.  
“We’ll be taking a room in the castle, too.”  
This time, Erwin halted. He wanted to make sure he’d heard right.  
“We?”  
Aubrey swallowed and nodded.  
“Yes, we only need one.”  
Erwin’s eyes narrowed and he glanced at Levi and Aubrey’s intertwined hands. They were closer than he’d been expecting. He’d known Aubrey had feelings for Levi but he hadn’t known how strong they were until now. And it seemed that Levi returned them.  
He thought things over. Her request wasn’t undoable or unreasonable in any way but he still hesitated. Allowing them to take a room together would put Aubrey in a position to be hurt even harder should things go wrong and... he didn’t want to cause her any more pain.  
But, he trusted Aubrey. Her judgement had always been good and she seemed to have placed her faith in Levi. For that reason, he wouldn’t stand in their way.  
“Very well. You may choose any room you’d like. Let me know when you’ve decided.”  
Aubrey let out a breath. His delayed response had made her nervous and for a moment she’d thought he might actually say no. But he hadn’t. That was all that mattered.  
Aubrey squeezed Levi’s hand and he returned the gesture. They’d get what they wanted.  
“I just have one last thing.”  
Levi peered over at her. He hadn’t been expecting her to say anything more. She’d already addressed the two issues they’d discussed.  
“I’d like to request a records change.”  
Both Erwin and Levi furrowed their brows.  
“A records change?” Erwin couldn’t think of anything she’d need to alter in her written documents.  
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.  
Aubrey smiled. Hange was right on time.  
“I’ll get it.” Aubrey rose from her seat before Erwin could say anything. Her legs were a little shaky but she’d be alright. She reluctantly released Levi’s hand and headed across the room.  
She swung the door open, revealing a slightly confused Hange. She still didn’t know why Aubrey had called her here.  
“Come in, Hange.”  
Hange peeked over Aubrey’s shoulder, seeing both Erwin and Levi sitting deathly still. She could sense the tension even from outside the room.  
“I’m not interrupting, am I?”  
Aubrey shook her head.  
“No, not at all. Come in.”  
Hange waited a few more seconds and hesitantly stepped inside.  
Aubrey shut the door and turned to face her friend. She was no doubt feeling extraordinarily confused.  
“Hange, do you remember the promise I made you?”  
Suddenly, she understood. Aubrey was finally going to tell her the information she’d been waiting for.  
Hange nodded, her expression shifting to curiosity.  
Aubrey gave her a small smile.  
“Good. I know I promised you’d be the second person to know but Erwin’s here too, so you’ll have to share with him.”  
Hange nodded again. She had no problem with sharing.  
“Alright then. Take a seat.”  
Aubrey gestured toward the extra chair in the corner and Hange hurried to pull it to the center of the room. She was eager to hear Aubrey’s explanation.  
Aubrey sighed and returned to her own seat. Her hand found Levi’s immediately, his touch now a necessity.  
“Sorry, Erwin. I hope you don’t mind.” Aubrey hadn’t exactly warned him that Hange would be joining them.  
Erwin shook his head. He didn’t really care who was in the room. He was itching to know what Aubrey was about to tell them.  
“Not at all. Please, continue. You wanted a records change?”  
Aubrey sucked in a breath. This was it.  
“Yes. I’d like to request a name change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I felt like this chapter was a little rough. It was hard to get the confrontation and reconciliation right. I figured that Erwin would probably have different answers for different people since maybe (Y/N)’s values are different. So, no mentions of regret, but a lot more mentions of choice lol.  
> Also, y’all really seem to be liking soft Levi! I totally see him as being super sweet with his s/o. I was worried that some people might not think it fit his character but I am CONVINCED he’s a sweetie at heart. Plus, I think his relationship would eventually develop into a “my s/o can get away with anything but if somebody else tries it they’ll die” kind of thing (Book 2 *hint, hint*).  
> Anyway, PLEASE LEAVE I COMMENT I AM A COMMENT PIG AND I LOVE THEM SO DON’T HESITATE TO SAY LITERALLY ANYTHING I WILL CRY. Thanks.


	41. Chapter 41

WARNING: Extreme fluff. Y’all probably thought I was gonna say smut lol.

The room was quiet for a moment while Erwin processed her words. His brow furrowed and Aubrey could tell that she’d confused him. Eventually, though, he spoke up.  
“A name change?”  
Aubrey nodded.  
“Yes.”  
Erwin continued to stare at her, unsure where this was going.  
“And what about your name would you like to change?”  
Aubrey squeezed Levi’s hand. He was the only one who knew what was coming.  
“My last name. Daremo is a fake, an alias. It’s not my real name.”  
Erwin’s eyes widened and he glanced at Levi. There was no surprise on his face. Aubrey must have already told him. Hange seemed intrigued but not shocked and Erwin realized he was the odd one out.  
“What is your real name?”  
Aubrey took a deep breath. Somehow, the word still seemed taboo. She’d spent so long hiding it that it automatically froze on her tongue. She forced her mouth open.  
“Hilmar. My real name is Aubrey Hilmar.”  
Erwin was still. He was having trouble forming a response. Eventually, he settled on another question.  
“Can I ask why you’ve decided to tell me this now?”  
Aubrey leaned back. Her eyes went to Levi. He was the reason she’d decided to reveal her name, to change it even in the records. She was sick of running from a person she hadn’t seen in years. Telling her story hadn’t made her upset, it had made her mad. She’d exhausted so much of her energy on a person that had only ever shown her hatred. By running from him, she was letting him win.  
“I’ve grown tired of hiding it. I chose the name Daremo so I could escape my father. But, if he wanted to find me, he would have by now, so there’s no point anymore.”  
“Your father?”  
Aubrey turned her head as Hange spoke up. Her expression was as curious as ever but Aubrey could detect concern, too. Her friend was worried about her.  
Aubrey sighed, realizing that it was time to tell her story for a second time. Her eyes went to Hange, then to Erwin, and then finally to Levi. He stared back and Aubrey noticed that his usually neutral expression was replaced by a look of assurance. He nodded at her and gripped her hand tighter. If she needed him, he’d be right there.  
Aubrey turned forward again, her gaze landing on a dent in the floor. Her mind was already taking her back.  
She started off the same way she had with Levi, explaining where she was born, who her family was, what they did. Then she moved on, describing the abuse and torture of her childhood. Every so often she would peek at Hange or Erwin, taking in their expressions. Hange just looked horrified with the occasional addition of disgust or revulsion. But Erwin’s expression worried her most. His eyes were closed and his brows lowered. His mouth was set in a permanent frown and it stayed that way for the entirety of Aubrey’s speech.  
Finally, Aubrey told them about how she’d run away, changing her name in an attempt to avoid her father. She briefly went through her time in the Training Corps but that was less important and her story soon came to an end.  
As soon as the last word had left her mouth Aubrey took a shuddering breath. The story had been slightly easier to tell this time but it still put her on edge. Again, she didn’t feel sad, just bitter and angry.  
The room was silent for a long while as everyone processed what had been said. It was a painful story and Aubrey could still see the horror on her friends’ features. Perhaps she’d been too detailed. But even if she had… she didn’t really care. It was the truth and she would rather have them know too much than too little.  
“Anyway, now you know.”  
Aubrey finally spoke up when she couldn’t take the quiet any longer. Her words seemed to shake her friends from their shocked states and after a few seconds Hange answered her.  
“Aubrey, I-... I’m sorry.”  
Aubrey shook her head, a humorless laugh leaving her lips.  
“Don’t feel sorry for me, Hange. It’s over and done. I don’t need pity, I need to move on.”  
Hange’s eyes went dark and she nodded. She couldn’t believe that someone so happy and kind had gone through such horrible things. It was… disturbing.  
Aubrey turned to Erwin. His eyes were open now but the frown was still plastered on his mouth.  
The two of them looked at each other, the intensity in their stares more meaningful than words.  
He was, of course, upset to hear about the pain she’d endured in life. But, he was also relieved to know who she was and how she’d come to be the person she was. From the day he’d met her, he’d wondered how she could be such a good soldier, such a natural talent. It didn’t seem possible. Now he knew that it was the result of a lifetime’s worth of practice, effort, and… pain.  
“Erwin.” Once again he was broken from his thoughts at the sound of Aubrey’s voice. “Will you do it?”  
Erwin had to backtrack to the beginning of their conversation to recognize what she was referring to. The name change.  
“Of course, Aubrey. I’ll have the books updated immediately.”  
Aubrey nodded and leaned back, her shoulder brushing against Levi’s. He'd been there the whole time, holding her hand through it all. She couldn’t have been more grateful for his presence.  
The room fell silent again and everyone sat in their own minds, thinking and rethinking.  
Finally, the scrape of a chair across the floor filled the air.  
Aubrey looked up to see Hange dragging her spare chair back to the corner of the room.  
“I, um… I’ll go now. It’s getting late. Thank you, Aubrey, for telling me.”  
Aubrey stood from the couch, glancing out the window. She hadn’t realized just how deep into the night they’d gotten. It must have been close to midnight.  
Aubrey pulled her gaze back to Hange, making her way over to her friend and wrapping her in a hug.  
At first, Hange didn’t know how to respond but after a few seconds, her arms moved and she hugged her back.  
“I’m glad I could make good on my promise. Sleep well, Hange. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
Aubrey pulled away and Hange nodded before she made her way to the door, slipping out silently.  
Aubrey stared after her for a moment. It was strange to see Hange be anything but her frenzied self but she also knew that her friend had a serious side. She figured if anything called for seriousness, it was probably the discussion of her past.  
“Oi, we should go, too.”  
Levi spoke for the first time since Aubrey had started her story and she turned to see that he’d already stood from the couch. She walked to him, placing a comforting touch on his arm. She knew he was right. It was late and they needed to sleep, especially if they were going to training in the morning.  
But before she could go, she had one last goodbye to take care of.  
Aubrey walked to Erwin’s desk, moving behind it until she was next to his chair. She met his eyes and felt them piercing through her. He always had a way of seeing directly to her soul.  
Slowly she leaned down, placing a kiss on his cheek.  
“Goodnight, Erwin. Don’t stay up too late.”  
Erwin couldn’t help but smile. Even after everything they’d been through she still cared about his sleep schedule.  
“Goodnight, Aubrey.”  
With a last glance, she turned away from him.  
She made her way to Levi, taking his hand and pulling him to the door. In just a few seconds, they’d left the office behind.  
Aubrey let out a breath the moment they stepped into the hall. The stress of the evening’s events had all been pent up in that room and, the moment she escaped it, she felt a weight lift from her chest. She’d done it. She’d talked to Erwin and told him everything.  
Aubrey felt a small smile come to her lips. The worst was over.  
She led Levi back through the corridors of the castle and headed for their room. As they walked, her eyes went over the endless amount of doors and hallways. It was strange to her that her last night in the barracks had already passed. Soon, she’d be cleaning out her old room and moving her things into the castle… with Levi.  
“Oi, how are we supposed to pick?”  
Aubrey glanced at him and saw that he, too, was surveying the doors as they walked past.  
“Pick?”  
“Yeah, there’s so many shitty rooms in this place and they all look the exact fucking same.”  
Aubrey laughed loudly, the sound echoing off the walls. She thought she heard Levi mumble a ‘shut up, brat’ but she was too amused to really notice. Apparently he’d been thinking about their moving, too.  
When she finally calmed down, she managed to get an answer together for him.  
“Yes, well, the doors all look the same but the rooms themselves are different. But these aren’t bedrooms at all, they’re for storage mostly.”  
Levi gave her an annoyed look and she had to work to not start laughing again.  
“Then where do they keep all of the bedrooms?”  
Aubrey paused, an idea coming to her mind.  
“Well, should we go shopping?”  
She raised an eyebrow, a playful expression taking over her features. She was willing to wait on sleeping if Levi was.  
“Shopping?”  
Aubrey nodded.  
“Yes, shopping for a room.”  
She giggled when the realization hit Levi’s eyes. He didn’t say anything but she saw a twitch on his lips. That was enough for her.  
She held his hand tighter and dragged him along as she picked up their pace.  
“Oi, slow down!”  
Aubrey practically had them running through the halls but she still ignored his comment. She was a little too excited.  
Finally, they rounded a corner and Aubrey came to a sudden stop. Levi had to dig his heels into the floor to avoid slamming into her.  
“Tch. Watch it or I’ll run you over.”  
She ignored him again. At the moment, she didn’t really care. They’d gotten to their destination.  
“Okay, do you have anything specific in mind? I just want a shower.”  
Levi felt a jolt in his heart. Suddenly, it all seemed so… real. She’d already thought about what she wanted. It took him a moment before he could speak but he eventually got his lips to move.  
“As long as it’s clean I don’t give a shit.”  
Aubrey scoffed.  
“Oh, come on. There has to be something.”  
Levi smirked.  
“Fine. A big bed.”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes as she started to pull him down the hall.  
“You’re impossible.”  
She ran through what she knew about each of the rooms. Most of them were very similar but there were a few that differed from the rest. The bigger rooms were in a separate wing but she’d avoided it on purpose. That was where the rest of the Special Ops Squad lived. She didn’t mind them but, if she could, she’d avoid living next to them.  
Finally, she came to a stop in front of the very last door in the hall. If she remembered correctly, it was slightly larger than the rest because of the way it was angled against the outside of the building.  
She turned the knob and pushed open the door. She’d been right about it being larger but, other than that, it looked almost identical to the room they were currently occupying. Same desk, same bed, same fireplace, same everything.  
Aubrey stepped in, heading for the bathroom. If there was no shower… that was a dealbreaker.  
She opened the door and peeked in. Just a tub.  
She sighed.  
“Not this one.”  
Levi grunted in agreement and the two of them quickly left, heading on to the next room.  
Aubrey took them from room to room only to find that nothing was quite right. Levi was surprisingly picky. Even when she found a room with a shower, he said no, claiming that the fireplace was too small and the desk creaked too much. She’d laughed at him but moved on anyway. She didn’t know what they were looking for but they definitely hadn’t found it yet.  
After a half-hour or so, Aubrey felt like they’d exhausted all of their options. She couldn’t think of any other rooms that were different from the standard layout. She was starting to think they’d just have to settle.  
But, just as she was about to give up, she remembered. There was a room she’d visited only one time before that might just do the trick. She’d forgotten it until now because it was on the other side of the castle, away from everything else. It had served as the Commander’s quarters many years ago when the cabins were still in use. Someone had still needed to stay at the base in case of an emergency.  
Erwin had forgone it in favor of a room closer to his office. He’d never needed much luxury in his life. He was much more about practicality.  
As far as Aubrey knew, nobody else had occupied it. Probably because they didn’t know it existed or because it was an extra five minutes of walking to get there.  
“Would you mind going a little... out of the way? I have one last idea but it’s a bit far.”  
Levi glanced over at her, curious about the excited look on her face.  
“Lead the way.”  
Aubrey squealed and yanked his head down far enough to give him a quick kiss. She was sure this would be the one.  
She dragged him along until they’d reached the other side of the castle and came to a stop when she finally found the right hallway. It was dark and empty with only the moonlight lighting their way. But that’s what they wanted. The fewer people around, the better.  
Aubrey searched for the right door and picked it out easily. It was slightly larger and more elaborate than the others. She couldn’t believe it. If there was no one using it, they’d really hit the jackpot.  
She approached slowly and lifted a hand, knocking hard on the door.  
No response.  
She smiled. It looked like they might be getting a new room.  
Aubrey turned the knob and pushed, stepping in as soon as she could.  
The room was huge. A fireplace even larger than the one they currently had was set into the wall to the right. The mantle was made out of wood and had been carved with intricate designs so detailed they almost made her head hurt. Aubrey’s eyes slid over and landed on the bed. She turned to Levi.  
“There’s your big bed.” She laughed and slapped his shoulder playfully. She still couldn’t believe he’d said that.  
But if a big bed was what he wanted, then that’s what he was getting. The thing was so huge that Aubrey could hardly believe it had ever been used for just one person. It was large enough that the two of them together would have plenty of room.  
Aubrey continued to scan the space. The far wall had an impressive window that would have shown the setting sun had there still been any daylight. In front of the window was a small table with a set of chairs. It looked like a mini dining room and suddenly Aubrey was searching for something completely different. She looked to her left and found a doorway into another area. She pulled Levi along behind her as she went to investigate.  
She had to stop herself from jumping up and down when she saw what she’d found. The room was a small kitchen. She could hardly fathom that the room had such a luxury. But, then again, there was only one Commander. If anyone was going to have a private kitchen it would probably be them.  
Aubrey looked around, a grin on her lips.  
“I could teach you to cook if you’d like.”  
Levi scoffed.  
“I can cook.”  
She rolled her eyes.  
“Alright, chef. Whatever you say.”  
Aubrey pulled them back back out to the main room, looking around until she found another door. She pushed it open to find the bathroom. There was a shower and a tub. She grinned. The best of both worlds. Other than that, the bathroom just looked like a bathroom. Though, Aubrey figured she wasn’t really all that picky. After she’d seen the shower, she was sold.  
She shut the door and turned to see what she was sure was a closet. But there was another door. Just how big was the place?  
She walked toward it and didn’t hesitate to look inside. It was a study or a personal office of some kind. There was a large desk at the center of the room and book shelves lined the walls.  
Aubrey wasn’t sure what they would do with so much space but more was better, right?  
Finally, she couldn’t find any more doorways and she came to the conclusion that they’d seen the whole thing. She turned to Levi.  
“Well, what do you think?”  
He raised an eyebrow.  
“You’re sure we can actually have this one?”  
Aubrey smirked and moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
“Well, Erwin did say to choose any room we liked and I think I like this one.” Her mouth was just a few inches from his as she spoke and Levi could feel her breath on his face. It was intoxicating.  
A smirk came to his own lips and Levi pressed even closer, his arm sliding around her waist.  
“Then let’s take it.”  
Aubrey’s smirk turned to a smile and her lips hit his.  
Levi kissed her back, setting their pace slow. In that moment, his pain disappeared. The grief lingering over him, the guilt he was sure would stay with him forever… all of it was gone for just a second. In that moment, all he could focus on was Aubrey. She was all he could see, touch, feel. She was everything.  
His hand raised to her cheek, his fingers sliding behind her ear and into her hair. Her arms wrapped tighter around his neck and soon they were lost in each other completely. The world could have been collapsing around them and they wouldn’t have noticed.  
Eventually, Aubrey had to break away for air and Levi paused. He wanted more but he wasn’t sure if he should keep going.  
He pulled away to look Aubrey in the eyes, a silent question on his features.  
Aubrey understood what he was asking and pressed her forehead to his.  
“Levi…”  
She paused, feeling his breaths hitch at the sound of his name on her lips. Aubrey brought her mouth to his ear.  
“I think we should make use of that obscenely large bed you wanted.”  
Levi didn’t need to hear her say it twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so FLUFFY. I know. I LOVE FLUFF. Especially after so much sad in the last chapters. Had to take a little break, okay?  
> But, I have a question that I seriously need y’all to answer. Do you want smut in the next chapter? Lol. I don’t want smut to become the center of this story but the opportunities keep arising. Plus, they’re kind of in a “honeymoon” phase, I think. They spent so long trying NOT to get together and now they have a lot of pent up energy lol. Anyway, if y’all want me to keep the smut coming I have no problem with that. I’ve already become surprisingly desensitized to writing it. PLEASE let me know, though, because I need to know how to structure the next chapter.  
> I am glad to hear that so many people are just as HYPED for Book 2 as I am! It’s gonna be great, y’all.  
> Also, I might not be able to update tomorrow because I’m traveling but I’ll try! If I don’t update tomorrow, it will be the next day.  
> If you have comments about anything else, please leave them. Like I always say, I am a comment PIG and I will never stop begging for them so… thank you. Every word is very much appreciated :)


	42. Chapter 42

WARNING: MAJOR smut ahead. Y’all asked so you shall receive. 

With one swift motion Levi swept Aubrey off the floor and carried her across the room, laying her down on the mattress.  
Aubrey giggled, excited by his enthusiasm, but was cut off when his lips found hers again.  
Levi was feeling impatient but he was determined to keep things slow. Their last time had been rushed, aggressive. He wanted to show her the exact opposite.  
Both of them kicked off their shoes as they moved further onto the bed and a few more lighthearted giggles filled the air as Levi pushed Aubrey down to the sheets.  
His lips stayed gentle on hers, keeping their touches light and effortless for as long as possible.  
Eventually, Aubrey was the one who couldn’t wait any longer. Her hands reached for his shirt and she pulled. Levi helped her get it off and she moved her lips to his bare chest, kissing over the scars and cuts.  
Levi sighed and closed his eyes. When she touched him like that he could hardly think. It took every ounce of his self-control to not break another pair of her pants.  
Finally, Aubrey’s mouth returned to his but she didn’t stay long. She broke away after just a few seconds and Levi was surprised to hear her speak.  
“Can I try something?”  
His brows furrowed.  
“Try what?”  
Suddenly he felt Aubrey’s hand against the bulge in his pants. He grunted, his head falling onto her shoulder as he sucked in a breath.  
Aubrey stopped for just long enough to push him up and into a seated position. She moved off the bed and Levi swung his legs over the edge as he turned to see where she was going. To his surprise, she was kneeling at his feet.  
His eyes widened as she reached for the waistband of his pants and he realized what was happening.  
He grabbed her wrist, stopping her before she could get any further.  
“You don’t have to.”  
Aubrey smiled up at him.  
“Levi, stop. I want to.” He still didn’t let go of her. It wasn’t until she stood and placed a kiss on his lips that his grip finally loosened.  
Her hands dragged down his chest as she made her way back to the floor.  
“Relax.”  
Aubrey huffed as she remembered how many times he’d told her that same phrase during their night at the pond. Now he was the one that needed to let go.  
Her hands made their way back to his waistband and this time Levi didn’t stop her. When she got to the point where she needed his help he hesitated, but a reassuring glance encouraged him to give in.  
His pants came off quickly and the second his underwear were out of the way, Aubrey felt her eyes widen. She’d never done this before and she didn’t really know where to start.  
Levi saw the expression on her face and his hand was instantly under her chin, trying to make her stand.  
“Aubrey, stop. I told you you don’t ha-”  
Aubrey put a hand over his mouth. She might not know what she was doing, but she could at least try.  
When she was sure he would stay quiet, Aubrey moved her hand down his body and halted on his abdomen. She swallowed. No going back now.  
She started by putting her hand on him, surprised when just her touch was enough to make him suck in a sharp breath. She kept going, moving her hand slowly and then faster when she saw the muscles in his jaw flexing. Levi grunted, so she figured she must be doing something right.  
Soon, she decided to take it to the next level. She pressed a hand to his thigh and moved closer. Aubrey took a deep breath, reminding herself that he’d tell her if she did something wrong. Then, when she finally worked up the confidence, she took him in her mouth.  
“Shit.”  
Levi gripped the sheets and did his best to stay still. He didn’t want to scare her by moving around too much. But she was making that exceptionally difficult. Her tongue was moving in all the right places and he couldn’t help but groan every few seconds.  
After just a short while, he could feel the tension building and he knew it was time to stop. He wanted to save himself for her.  
He gathered all of the willpower he had and reached for her face, pulling her up until he could grab under her arms and flip her onto the bed.  
Aubrey felt panic run through her veins.  
“Did I do something wrong?”  
Levi ran his lips down her neck, speaking between kisses.  
“No. You did nothing wrong. I just want to pay you back now.”  
Levi moved a little faster. He wasn’t exaggerating. He was going to give her back everything she’d given him. Ten times over.  
Aubrey relaxed a little when she heard that she hadn’t hurt him.  
“It was alright, then?”  
Levi hit the sensitive spot on her neck and she gasped.  
“Yes. More than alright.”  
Aubrey smiled as his hands traveled down her body. She was glad she could do something for him when usually it was up to him to guide their actions.  
When his hands slid beneath her shirt Aubrey raised her arms automatically, her back arching so he could get the clothing off her. But what was usually a quick undressing had turned slow. Levi was inching the shirt up her stomach, kissing every new piece of skin he revealed.  
Aubrey sighed, enjoying every touch of his lips. She didn’t mind going a little slower.  
But, after a couple of torturously long minutes, she could feel herself growing impatient. He was taking too long, being too gentle. She wanted him on her. Now.  
She reached for his chin, trying to pull his lips to hers. But, instead of giving in to her request, Levi grabbed her hand away from his face, pinning it to the bed. He wasn’t ready to move on yet.  
Aubrey’s mouth popped open in surprise. He’d never done something like that before.  
She tugged on her hand, testing to see if he’d let her go but his grip only tightened. She didn’t really mind apart from the fact that she wanted him to move faster. He was going so damn slow.  
“Levi, hurry up.”  
He snickered against her skin and let his tongue drag across one of her ribs.  
“Relax. I’m paying you back, remember?”  
Aubrey stared down at him. This certainly didn’t feel like payback. It felt more like torture.  
She started to squirm but Levi pressed his body onto her, keeping her still. Aubrey whimpered. The heat between her legs was growing and she was starting to get desperate.  
Levi was feeling quite pleased with himself. He didn’t even have her shirt off yet and she was already wiggling around.  
“Levi.”  
He decided that maybe she was right. The shirt could come off. He still had plenty of ground to cover.  
He lifted his head, dragging her shirt up and off. He nearly laughed at her relieved exhale. She didn’t know what he had planned.  
His mouth went back to her chest and Aubrey groaned when he only fiddled with the straps of her bra. He was going to do the same thing all over again.  
She whined. She didn’t know how much more she could take. Her legs tightened around Levi’s knee, searching for any kind of friction. That lasted for just a second before he moved his leg back, denying her any kind of contact. Aubrey gasped.  
“Oh my god, Levi! Hurry up!”  
Finally, he seemed to be following her instructions. His hand moved down her side to between her legs, pressing down over her clothes.  
Aubrey yelped. He’d kept her waiting for so long that just the lightest touch was enough to drive her crazy.  
He stayed there for just a moment and then his hand disappeared. Aubrey had rarely ever felt so frustrated in her life.  
“Levi!”  
He didn’t even seem to hear her.  
His teeth slid to her shoulder and hooked on the strap of her bra. He dragged it down her arm before doing the same on the other side.  
Aubrey writhed around beneath him but couldn’t do much. He had most of his weight pressing down on her and she was pinned. And every time she tried to undress herself he would pin her hand to the bed. They weren’t going to move any faster than he wanted them to.  
Finally, his hand slid under her back, unhooking her bra and tossing it to the side.  
Aubrey barely even had time to process the action before his mouth had found her breast.  
Her back arched and a whimper left her lips. All he was doing was making the torture worse.  
Levi moved slowly across her skin, dragging out the event as long as possible. Eventually, he felt Aubrey shaking in frustration and knew that it was time to give her the attention she wanted. He’d pushed her to her breaking point.  
Aubrey nearly cried out when she felt his hand reach for her waistband. She’d been waiting so long that she was on the brink of tears.  
She lifted her hips as much as she could, hoping that Levi would yank the clothing from her body. But he was still taking his time.  
His fingers undid the button carefully and Aubrey screamed in annoyance. Couldn’t he see that she was suffering?  
“Levi… please…” Her words were barely above a whisper. His teasing had sapped her of an enormous amount of energy.  
Levi picked up his pace every so slightly. The sound of her pleading had made him more eager.  
He pulled on her waistband and slid her pants down her legs, dropping them to the floor.  
His fingers went to her panties next and he skirted around the edges until he heard another whine from Aubrey’s mouth.  
He tugged lightly and soon he had the last piece of clothing off her.  
Aubrey sighed, hoping that he’d finally give her what she needed now that all obstacles were gone.  
She was wrong.  
Levi placed his lips at the inside of her ankle, slowly dragging his mouth up her leg until he reached her inner thigh.  
Aubrey squirmed when she felt his breath between her legs but Levi backed away the second she started to move. She couldn’t take it anymore. Her hand reached for him and she’d nearly locked her fingers in his hair when he snatched her wrist, pressing it into the bed as he had before.  
Aubrey didn’t have the energy to fight back. She felt beaten, broken.  
When she stilled, Levi’s lips started again. He repeated the same process, starting at the ankle on her other leg and stopping at her inner thigh.  
This time, Aubrey didn’t dare to move a muscle. She still held the smallest, tiniest bit of hope that he’d give her the release she so desperately wanted.  
And this time, she was right.  
The instant Levi’s mouth went between her legs, her toes curled and her hands gripped the sheets like her life depended on it. She didn’t know if she’d ever experienced such relief in her life. A moan ripped from her throat.  
Had it not been for Levi’s hands pressing her into the mattress, her hips would have been jerking every which way. The sensation was all-consuming. She couldn’t think of anything else.  
In an embarrassingly short amount of time, her legs started to close around Levi’s head and her body began to shake. He’d had her on the edge before he’d even begun.  
Levi didn’t pause for a second as he pushed her closer and closer to her peak. He could feel it coming and he had every intention of giving it to her.  
His tongue seemed to be everywhere at once and suddenly Aubrey felt it all becoming too much. She couldn’t take it any longer.  
In a split second she’d reached her high and she screamed, the most intense pleasure she’d ever experienced filling her entire body.  
Her chest heaved and she waited for Levi’s lips to find hers but she soon realized that he wasn’t stopping. His mouth was still between her legs, his tongue still working.  
She could feel herself rising again but this time it really was too much. Levi hadn’t even given her a second to recover and the pleasure was mixed with a deep ache.  
“Levi… it’s… it’s too-“  
She was cut off as she felt his fingers join his tongue.  
Her hands flew to his head and tangled in his hair, tugging. She couldn’t take it.  
But the strength had left her body long ago and her tugs were so light that Levi barely even registered them. He was too focused on the way she was writhing around at his touch.  
Even while the ache was present, the pleasure remained, too, and Aubrey could feel herself trembling again. She was still so weak and her muscles were so fatigued that it nearly hurt as Levi pushed and pushed.  
Finally, everything culminated for the second time and her back arched even higher off the bed before she collapsed.  
Levi’s mouth left her and he wiped his lips as he sat back, panting. He could see just how exhausted she was. Her body was limp and her breaths just as heavy as his.  
Slowly, he crawled back over her, kissing her neck.  
“Do you want me to stop?”  
His words were barely a whisper but they were still deafening in Aubrey’s ears.  
But even as she was still recovering, still panting, she already knew her answer.  
“No, I-” She had to pause to take a breath and then wrap her hand around the back of his neck. “I want you.”  
Levi put his lips on hers, careful not to stay there too long. She was still working on getting air in her lungs.  
He moved to her jaw and then down her neck again as he allowed her some time to recover. His hands roamed over her body as he waited.  
But, to his surprise, Aubrey moved on him first.  
Her breathing had just barely returned to an acceptable rate when she reached for his face, dragging him back to her lips. Levi understood immediately.  
He kissed her back for a moment, picking up the intensity. Then pulled away and moved back.  
He groaned when he finally pushed inside her.  
Aubrey gasped but she was surprised that the pain wasn’t nearly as strong as it had been previously. Maybe she was getting used to it or maybe Levi’s time between her legs had made some kind of difference. Either way, she was grateful.  
Levi started slow but Aubrey quickly wrapped her legs around his back, bringing him closer.  
“I’m okay.”  
Levi hesitated for a moment, not wanting to hurt her, but another squeeze of her legs pulled him even closer. She’d meant what she’d said.  
His head dipped into her shoulder, his lips finding her jaw as he began to quicken their pace.  
Aubrey felt his fingers sliding down her side and she knew where he was headed. She whimpered when his hand halted. She still felt overly sensitive and even the lightest touch was enough to leave her clawing at Levi’s back.  
Her hands went into his hair, one scratching at his undercut while the other grasped at the strands. She turned her head into him, her breath hitting his ear as they moved.  
Levi was careful to be gentle with her, to not push her too fast. He’d put her body through a lot already.  
Aubrey felt the heat at her core again and small moans escaped into Levi’s ear. She couldn’t believe he could work her body so well when they’d only been together a few times.  
Levi felt her shuddering beneath him and started to move more quickly. He nipped at the skin on her neck and heard her breathing return to panting. She was close. So was he.  
Aubrey felt her muscles starting to lose their strength and her eyes rolled back in her head. Levi was going to push her to her limit for the third time.  
With just a few more movements and a last snap at her jaw, Aubrey couldn’t take it anymore and her head fell back onto the mattress.  
The feeling of her release put Levi over the edge and he found his own high within seconds.  
He moved away as soon as he could. He knew Aubrey was exhausted and he was afraid that his own fatigue might cause him to crush her. Instead, he rolled onto his back, reaching for her and pulling her onto his chest.  
They lay there for several minutes as they caught their breath. Eventually, their bodies calmed and Aubrey felt some of her strength returning. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough for her to speak.  
She drew in a long breath.  
“Wow.”  
Levi scoffed and she chuckled into his skin. She might have been joking but this time really had been different. There was no nervousness like their first and no anger like their second. This time had been more personal, more intentful.  
Aubrey sighed and ran her hands over Levi’s chest and down his arms until she found his hands. She laced their fingers together and felt Levi take a deep breath. Both of them felt a calmness in the air that hadn’t been present since before the expedition. Their grief, guilt, and pain had all been addressed and now, with each other’s help, they could begin to heal.  
When Aubrey had regained a bit more energy, she propped herself up, finding Levi’s eyes before placing a kiss on his lips. Even just that small action left her feeling winded.  
“I think you’re going to have to carry me to the bath if that’s where we’re headed.”  
Levi smirked and kissed her again before gathering her in his arms and sliding off the bed. Aubrey pushed herself into his body, completely content.  
When they got to the bathroom, Levi sat her on the edge of the tub.  
“Bath or shower?”  
Aubrey sighed. As excited as she’d been about her new shower, she didn’t think she had the strength to actually use it.  
“Bath.”  
Levi started the water and waited until it was warm enough before he pulled her back to his side, lowering her into the water. He climbed in after her and soon had her back in his arms as the water rose around them.  
Their bath was much like their last one. Aubrey was too exhausted to participate much and Levi ended up doing most of the work. He didn’t mind, it just meant he got more time with his hands on her.  
Their washing ended with Aubrey laying against Levi’s chest until the water went cold and they had to get out.  
Levi found their clothes and dressed himself before helping Aubrey. Even after their bath she was still weak.  
He carried her back to the main room and set her in one of the chairs near the window before moving back to the bed and stripping off the sheets.  
Aubrey watched him carefully, sorry that she wasn’t able to help. He was always left to do all the work.  
Finally, Levi dropped the dirty sheets onto the floor and he looked over to her. He knew they would have to go back to their old room. It had all of their clothes, food, belongings. They would need them in the morning if they were going to training. But from the way her legs had been shaking while he’d dressed her, he didn’t think she’d be able to make it back.  
He sighed.  
Aubrey smiled when he walked back to her. She was ready to go back and sleep. She’d had a long night.  
She braced herself to stand. She was still almost entirely helpless but with Levi’s support she figured she could probably get back to the room.  
But instead of extending a hand as she’d expected, Levi turned around, crouching to the ground.  
“Get on.”  
Aubrey’s eyes widened as she tried to process what he’d just said.  
“What?”  
“Tch.”  
Levi turned and grabbed her wrist, yanking until she stumbled out of her chair. She ran right into him but that had been his intention. His arms wrapped around her legs and he stood, shifting until he had her situated comfortably on his back.  
Aubrey stared at the back of his head for a moment before a grin overtook her features. She kissed his back, hooking her arms over the tops of his shoulders and resting her chin in the crook of his neck.  
“Thank you.”  
Levi acknowledged her with a light hum and moved toward the door. He managed to get it open with little difficulty and both of them gave a last glance at the room before they slipped into the hallway.  
Aubrey gave Levi directions as they walked. He wasn’t familiar with this part of the castle and needed a ‘left’ or ‘right’ every so often. When they finally got out of their hidden corridor, he started to recognize where they were and Aubrey’s directions died off. Instead, they were replaced by the occasional kiss on his neck or sigh in his ear.  
There wasn’t a single other soul in the halls this late into the night and their walk back was peaceful and undisturbed. Aubrey was thankful for that tiny detail. She didn’t want to be the talk of the town again tomorrow and she was sure Levi felt the same.  
The time flew by and soon she could see the door to their room at the end of the hall. Levi walked them inside and Aubrey unhooked her arms from around his neck and slid to the ground. Her legs were still shaky but she could make it to the bed. She collapsed when she got there and kicked off her shoes hastily.  
She heard the floor boards creak and looked to see Levi disappear into the bathroom. He returned just a few moments later, a toothbrush in his mouth as he handed hers over.  
Aubrey smiled, sitting up and taking it from him. She brushed and Levi reached for her, knowing that she’d need help getting to the sink. He half carried her there before setting her down and spitting in the sink. She did the same and as soon as she’d finished Levi swept her feet completely off the floor and carried her back to the bed.  
He left again to start a fire but returned after just a few minutes.  
Finally, he sank onto the bed and Aubrey moved to kiss down his spine as he took off his shoes. When he was done he turned to her, immediately dragging her down to the mattress and pulling her into him.  
Aubrey didn’t resist. She pressed closer to him, her leg swinging over his hip and the top of her head touching his chin as she settled in.  
Levi wrapped an arm around her waist and exhaled as he let himself sink into the bed. It wasn’t until that moment that he realized just how tired he was. Even with the threat of his grief hiding in the shadows of the night, he knew he would sleep.  
Aubrey could feel her own eyes beginning to droop and she hurried to say something before she succumbed to her exhaustion.  
“Please try to sleep. Wake me if you need me.”  
Levi sighed but kissed her hair. She never had any concern for herself.  
“Close your eyes, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey snuggled further into his chest.  
“Goodnight. I love you.”  
Levi’s eyes closed as he answered her.  
“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyy! Okay, y’all wanted another smut chapter soooo… I wrote one lol. I think this was the longest smut scene I’ve written thus far and I did blush a couple of times. I won’t lie.  
> Anyway, the next chapter will be more story based. Gotta get back to training lol.  
> I also wanted to let everyone know that my updates might slow down a bit starting next week because I’m starting a new semester and I’m pretty sure 20 credits is gonna kick my butt. I’ll update as much as I can because this story has become my go-to free time activity but I just won’t have as much free time, ya know?  
> AND, so many of you keep saying that you read this story in one day/night and I just want you to know that I am IMPRESSED. This book is over 160,000 words which is like a whole Harry Potter novel so CONGRATS. But like, I’ve probs done the same thing before lol.  
> Okay, but y’all really CAME THROUGH with the comments on the last chapter. I was flipping out because I was getting so many so THANK YOU and keep it up pleaseeeee :))) I love themmmmmm. Every single one is appreciated!


	43. Chapter 43

Both of them got some rest, though it wasn’t uninterrupted.  
Aubrey had no nightmares but every so often she would wake to Levi shaking in her arms. He wasn’t dreaming, only falling too far into the torture of his own thoughts. Some rounds were only shaking and some were horrifying sobs. Aubrey would just hold him tighter, pressing her lips to every bit of his skin she could find and running her hands through his hair until he finally calmed and fell back asleep.  
It happened over and over again but Aubrey never hesitated to comfort him. She’d do it as many times as she needed to.  
Eventually, Aubrey woke not to the feeling of Levi’s trembling but to the light of the morning sun. It crept in through the cracks in the curtains and cast orange patterns across the room.  
They’d made it through another night.  
She turned her eyes to Levi. He was still next to her, his arm loosely wrapped around her as he slept. She smiled, happy to see the peaceful expression on his face after a night full of torment. She realized that when he wasn’t scowling he actually looked his age. He looked young.  
She sank back into the bed, admiring him. From the orange color of the light, Aubrey knew that it was only sunrise. They still had a few minutes before she’d have to wake him.  
Her hand reached out to touch his face and she traced his features, careful to keep her touch light so as not to disturb him. Her fingers went over his jawline, his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, the dark circles under his eyes, and finally his lips. She lingered there for a moment before moving her hand to his hair, brushing his bangs from his eyes and feeling the softness of every strand.  
Aubrey reaffirmed her belief that he was the most beautiful person she’d ever seen.  
She stayed there with her hand in his hair until the light changed from orange to yellow. Sunrise had passed. It was time to get up.  
She moved closer to him and pressed her fingers to his cheek as she placed a kiss on his lips. He stirred but didn’t wake and Aubrey laughed quietly. She’d have to try again. Her mouth met his once more and she knew he’d woken when his lips started to match her movements.  
Ever so slowly, Levi’s arm tightened around her waist, pushing her further into his chest. She smiled against his mouth, excited to have him back. Even just the few minutes she’d let him sleep had been enough to make her miss him.  
After a couple more seconds Aubrey broke away, pressing her forehead to his.  
“Good morning.”  
Levi answered by putting his lips back on hers. He couldn’t think of another way to express how happy he was to see her.  
Aubrey pulled away from him again. She knew that if she didn’t, she wouldn’t want to leave the bed all day. And they had things to do.  
“It’s time for us to get up. I need to go to the forest for herbs and then we need to get some clean uniforms.”  
Aubrey hadn’t been expecting them to go back to training so soon and she’d failed to grab any extra uniform clothing for either herself or Levi. All they had were things meant for leisure time.  
But Aubrey realized that getting a clean outfit for Levi would mean going through more of Jack’s things or even going to Levi’s dorm. Both of those sounded like very unpleasant options.  
She pushed the thought away. She’d deal with it when they got there. For now, she didn’t want to lose the happiness of their morning.  
“Did it make you sick?”  
Aubrey was brought back to the present when Levi’s voice rippled through the air. But she didn’t understand what he was talking about.  
“What?”  
Levi leaned his head into her chest, obviously still under the influence of sleep.  
“The tea. You said it could make you sick.”  
Aubrey felt her heart melt. She couldn’t believe he remembered such a small detail.  
And yet, she didn’t really know how to answer his question. She’d felt sick that whole day but that could have been the result of any number of things. She decided a white lie wouldn’t hurt anything.  
“No. It didn’t make me sick.”  
Levi hummed into her skin. He was almost starting to regret his insistence on going to training. Her skin was so warm and her touch was so comforting that he never wanted to leave.  
Aubrey could sense his laziness and knew that she’d have to be the first one to move if they were ever going to get out of the bed.  
She swung her leg over Levi’s hip and rolled them until he was on his back and she hovered over him. She leaned down, placing a last kiss on his lips.  
“Now let’s get up.”  
Aubrey climbed off him before he could object and she slid across the bed, her feet hitting the cold floor.  
When she stood she realized that her legs were rather sore and she stumbled, placing a hand on the bedside table for support. She heard Levi snicker behind her and turned to shoot him an unamused glare.  
She saw him making his way off the bed and finally he stood behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist as he leaned down to whisper in her ear.  
“Need some help?”  
Aubrey smacked his arm.  
“No, thank you.”  
She tried to walk only to stumble once again.  
She could practically feel the smirk on Levi’s face as he pulled her back and steadied her.  
“Are you sure about that?”  
Aubrey scowled, recognizing that she would have to give in.  
“Fine.”  
Levi snickered again and swept her feet off the floor. She’d have to walk eventually but for now he could get away with carrying her.  
He set her down on the sink in the bathroom. He moved between her legs to place a kiss on her jaw and Aubrey crossed her ankles behind his back. She smiled. He was being particularly sweet this morning.  
Both of them brushed their teeth and washed their faces and when they’d finished, Levi lifted Aubrey back to his arms and gently set her down.  
“Want to give it another try?”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes. He was smirking again.  
She gripped Levi’s arm and took a step, feeling the soreness shoot through her. Her face screwed up in frustration. It didn’t seem fair that she was the only one struggling.  
She took another step and then another and eventually the pain started to lessen. Levi kept close by as they returned to the main room but after a while, Aubrey let go of his arm. She’d gotten through the worst of it.  
She found her shoes and took a seat on the bed but Levi snatched the boots from her hands before she could even get them on.  
Aubrey watched as he crouched down and slid them onto her feet. Her hand moved to stroke his hair as he tied the laces and when he finished she lifted his chin and put her lips on his.  
Levi stood when she broke away and went to get his own boots. He had them on in less than a minute and then he was back at her side.  
Aubrey sighed. It was time to go.  
She reached her arms out to him and Levi grabbed her, helping her up. Her hand slid into his and he placed one last kiss on her forehead before they headed for the door.  
Together, they made their way through the halls and out the back door that Aubrey had become very fond of. It was much more discreet and it was still too early to deal with the stares of the soldiers wandering into the Mess Hall.  
As soon as they were out Aubrey led them toward the forest. She decided to just pick as many of the herbs as she could and dry them. That way she wouldn’t have to make a trip to the woods every time Levi got handsy.  
She headed for the nearest spot in the treeline, not bothering to follow any kind of path. She just wanted to get the plants and get out.  
Finally, the two of them entered the forest and Aubrey searched the ground for anything she might need. She looked for a while, tugging Levi along with her until her eyes landed on the same little white flower that had reminded her of the tea in the first place. She huffed a laugh when she thought about how it had only been a couple of days since then. Had it not been for the grief still hanging overhead she would have sworn it was a lifetime ago.  
Aubrey was pulled back to the present when she felt Levi’s hand around her wrist. She turned to him to see that he was examining the flower she held. His eyes were so focused that he almost looked angry.  
“What is it?”  
Aubrey checked the flower again. Maybe there was something wrong with it and Levi had seen before she did.  
“You need to teach me what all of these plants are.”  
Aubrey’s brows scrunched. That wasn’t the response she’d been expecting.  
“What? Why?”  
Levi gave her an annoyed look. Sometimes her selflessness could make her dense.  
“Because it takes two, Aubrey. I’m not going to put all of the burden on you.”  
Aubrey’s eyes widened as she realized the thoughtfulness of his gesture. But her first instinct was to always do everything herself. She didn’t want to put a burden on him.  
“Levi, you-”  
His hand covered her mouth.  
“Don’t even finish that.”  
Aubrey snapped her jaw shut. He was using that tone that commanded authority. Whenever she heard it she couldn’t help but do as he said. She knew he was serious.  
He turned his attention back to the flower as his hand dropped from her mouth.  
“What is this called?”  
Aubrey looked down at the plant, her speech delayed by her lingering surprise.  
“It’s, um… it’s called an anemone flower.”  
Levi’s expression remained neutral as he continued to ask questions.  
“How do I know it’s the right one?”  
Aubrey took a deep breath. There was a lot of explaining ahead.  
“Well, they like the shade but they need a little sun, too, so look for an area that has just a little bit of light. Um, they always have this very distinct, fuzzy-looking center with the petals growing out around it, see?” Aubrey ran her finger over the center of the flower. “And their leaves are always pointy like this. They kind of look like tree leaves. Oh, but they can come in tons of different colors so don’t think that they’re always white.”  
She peeked up at Levi, expecting to see him confused or overwhelmed. Instead, he was more focused than ever as he processed what she’d said.  
When his eyes finally met hers she gave him a gentle smile.  
“What’s the next one?”  
Aubrey’s smile grew wider and she pulled him in for a kiss before moving on to the next plant. He really was just a sheep in wolf’s clothing.  
Aubrey showed him each and every plant, explaining what it was and how to identify it. Levi listened carefully and when they’d finally finished he helped her to gather as many of the herbs as they could fit in their pockets. Aubrey went through his finds and was surprised that she only had to pull a few incorrect varieties from the pile. He really had been paying attention.  
As soon as she plucked the last deceptive weed from his picks, her hand found his and she yanked him close. Her arms went around his neck and she stared softly into his eyes.  
She hoped he could see just how much she cared for him, appreciated him. She still couldn’t believe that she’d been lucky enough to have someone like him love her back. She knew she wasn’t perfect but she thought that maybe she’d found someone perfect for her.  
Levi must have been able to read her mind because just as she was about to lean in he pressed his lips to hers.  
Aubrey savoured every second. She loved the way his hand rested against the back of her neck, the way his tongue felt on hers, the way he always made her feel like she was about to melt away. He made her see stars.  
Levi pulled away and Aubrey chased after him, managing to get a few more kisses in before they broke away for good.  
Her head pressed into his shoulder as she held onto him. She didn’t want to let go, even if it meant they’d be late. Levi must have felt the same because he didn’t say anything and his arms slid around her back as his chin moved to rest on her head.  
Minutes passed by with only the sounds of their breathing to fill the silence. It was beyond relaxing and Aubrey could feel herself sinking into Levi’s body more and more every moment. He was making her lose all track of time.  
Finally, there was a chirp of a bird nearby and Aubrey was brought back to her senses. They’d been standing there for far too long. They would have to rush for uniforms if they were going to make it to the Mess Hall.  
Aubrey reluctantly lifted her head and there was a pout on her face as she spoke.  
“I think we have to go now.”  
Levi sighed. He didn’t want to move any more than she did. But he knew she was right.  
Aubrey placed one last kiss on his cheek and pulled back. Reminding herself that she would have all night with him was the only thing that kept her from going back to his arms.  
Their fingers laced together and they left the forest unwillingly.  
Aubrey’s mind moved to their next task and an instant cloud formed over her. Levi’s uniform would either have to come from Jack’s things or they’d have to go to his dorm. She didn’t know which was the lesser of two evils. She grappled with the decision for a while before realizing that she shouldn’t be the one making the decision at all. It was up to Levi. He had to decide if he was ready to face that room or not.  
But when Aubrey opened her mouth to ask him, she realized that her room was already coming into view. She didn’t have time to get the words out before they arrived at her door.  
Levi put his hand on the knob and pushed inside, pulling Aubrey in behind him. The door clanked shut and she got to work immediately. She was happy she’d kept her room rather tidy after Levi had helped her clean it. Otherwise, she’d be getting an earful of reprimands.  
She emptied her pockets, tossing the herbs onto the bed and then heading for her dresser. She yanked open the drawers, pulling out a clean uniform.  
Suddenly, her hands froze as she recognized the pile of bloody clothing on the floor next to her. It was her uniform from the day of the expedition and it stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the neatness of everything else.  
She drew in a sharp breath and turned to Levi only to see that the damage had already been done. He was staring at the clothes, a distant expression on his face.  
Aubrey moved as quickly as she could. She picked up the pile of bloodied cloth and shoved it into a drawer, closing it away.  
She grabbed her clean uniform and twisted back to Levi. She walked to him, her fingers going to his cheek as she tried to bring him back.  
“Help me.”  
She took his hand and placed it on the seam of her shirt.  
“Help me, Levi.”  
For a moment he didn’t move and Aubrey thought she was going to have to repeat herself again. But then the light came back to his eyes and he seemed to understand what she was asking of him.  
His hand tightened around the edge of her shirt and he pulled it up and over her head.  
Aubrey moved closer, pushing into his chest and kissing his neck as he moved to her bra.  
It was off in seconds and her pants and underwear weren’t far behind. He took the clean clothing from her hands and redressed her just as efficiently as he’d undressed her.  
When the last piece went on, Aubrey pressed a hand to Levi’s abdomen and she pushed him back until his knees hit the bed. She forced him to sit, moving the herbs out of the way, and then crawled into his lap.  
She hugged him tightly and felt instantly reassured when his arms returned her embrace. He was back, he was with her.  
She continued with her kisses, running them across his collarbone and then along his jaw. She’d completely forgotten about the bloodied uniform and by the time she’d realized what she’d done it was already too late. She’d made a mistake.  
“I’m sorry.”  
Levi groaned as he tucked his head into her neck.  
“Don’t apologize to me. Please, don’t.”  
Aubrey stilled. She didn’t understand.  
“I should have gotten rid of it. I’m sorry.”  
“I said don’t.”  
There was that authoritative tone. He meant business.  
Aubrey almost apologized again for going against his wishes but she caught herself and just nodded in response.  
She hugged him even tighter and Levi took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her skin. He was getting through it but Aubrey’s apologies had been what really brought him out of his trance. He hated when she took so much of his own pain on herself. He was grateful to have her, grateful for everything she’d done to help. In fact, he knew that he probably wouldn’t have survived without her. But when she blamed herself for every reminder of the past it drove him insane. She wasn’t responsible for protecting him, he needed to do that himself.  
“Levi.”  
Aubrey’s voice dragged him from his thoughts.  
“I need to ask you something.”  
Levi pushed himself even further into her neck and put his lips on her skin. A silent yes.  
Aubrey sighed.  
“Are you ready to face your room?”  
Levi’s breathing stopped as her question sank in. He pulled back to look at her, his eyes urging her to elaborate.  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed as she began to explain.  
“You need a uniform. If you want, I can go through Jack’s things and find one but… if you think you’re ready… I’ll be with you every step of the way.”  
Levi went still as he thought over his options. He could take one of Jack’s uniforms but that would mean subjecting Aubrey to her own suffering. He couldn’t do that. Especially not after he’d just vowed to protect himself. He had to face his past for her sake. He couldn’t keep letting her remove his obstacles.  
But as much as he wanted to face things alone, Levi knew that he still needed her. Just now, when he’d seen that bloodied uniform… if she hadn’t been there he would have spiraled. He didn’t want her to leave his side, just to stop shielding him.  
He pressed his forehead to hers.  
“I’m ready, but… I need you.”  
Aubrey could feel tears forming in her eyes and she hastily put her lips on his. She kissed him again and again, only ever pulling away to reassure him.  
“You have me. You have me. You have me.”  
Levi kissed her back, knowing that he was forever indebted to her. Never in his life did he think he would find someone who loved him so completely, with all of his flaws and weaknesses. He’d already lost count of the number of times she’d saved him from himself and he knew she’d never stop.  
When Aubrey finally ran out of air, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands going to his head as she guided him into her shoulder. She’d hold him as long as he needed her to, even if that was forever.  
Levi stayed there for a few minutes as his breathing returned to normal. He focused on the sound of her heartbeat and, while it was a little faster than normal, it was still calming enough to steady him. Soon, he felt strong enough to go. He was ready.  
He moved his lips to Aubrey’s jaw and she immediately knew what he was saying.  
She scrambled back and out of his lap, waiting as he stood. Her hand reached up to comb through his hair one last time and then she headed for her closet, grabbing her extra pair of 3DMG straps. She slung them over her shoulder. She’d put them on later.  
She hurried to the bed, taking just enough of the herbs to make her tea for the morning. Just like her straps, she’d deal with the rest of the plants later.  
Levi twined their fingers as soon as she finished and brought the back of her hand to his mouth.  
Aubrey nodded. She was ready when he was.  
Finally, Levi squeezed her hand and the two of them left her room behind.  
It didn’t take them long to reach the men’s barracks and Levi pulled Aubrey inside without hesitation. Women still weren’t allowed in the men’s dorms and if they were caught by a superior, they would be stopped. Luckily, it seemed that all of them had already headed for the Mess Hall.  
Aubrey followed as Levi led her through the halls. She vaguely remembered where they were going from the time she’d brought him cleaning supplies but she didn’t really care enough to try to memorize the layout. There were more important things coming.  
Aubrey inhaled sharply when Levi halted in front of one of the doors. Now she remembered perfectly. They’d arrived.  
Her hands quickly traveled to his back, trailing over his shoulder blades and then down the backs of his arms. She hoped her touch was helping.  
Levi was still for a moment and then he reached for her, an arm wrapping around her waist. His lips crashed into her but the kiss was over as soon as it had started. Levi’s hand went to the knob and turned.  
Aubrey held her breath as they moved inside. It looked exactly like she’d thought it would.  
Furlan’s bed sat neatly made, the sheets folded and pressed.  
A few of his belongings sat on the desk, lined up and looking like they might be used at any moment.  
Aubrey automatically raised her hand to Levi’s cheek. She already made contact with his skin by the time she met his eyes.  
He looked… tense. All of the muscles in his jaw were flexed and his brows were lowered over his eyes. Aubrey looked harder, searching for any signs of the far-off expression he took on when he thought back.  
Surprisingly, she saw nothing. He was still with her, still in the moment. Her hand ran through his hair as she turned their attention back to their goal.  
“Levi… your uniform.”  
Levi closed his eyes, pausing before he nodded.  
He moved away from her and across the room, finding the dresser.  
Aubrey watched him carefully as he pulled out a clean uniform. She waited for a sign that he needed her but it never came.  
Before she knew it, he was walking back to her, his hand reaching for hers. He dragged her fingers to his shirt and Aubrey gave him a small smile. She knew what he was asking.  
Aubrey lifted his shirt over his head and Levi pressed forward to kiss her neck, just as she’d done with him. Her hands went to his waist and she soon had him undressed.  
His clean uniform went on quickly and as soon as Aubrey had the shirt over his head, Levi’s arms wrapped around her. His head went to her shoulder again and Aubrey held him tightly. Again, she silently promised to stay there with him for however long he needed.  
But to her surprise, Levi lifted his head after just a few seconds. His forehead met hers and he pulled her even closer.  
“Let’s move tonight.”  
Aubrey hesitated.  
“Into the castle?”  
Levi inhaled sharply.  
“Yes, I want to do it tonight. Right after training.”  
Aubrey felt her legs go weak but not because of the lingering soreness. She couldn’t express how happy his words had made her. They made her whole body shake with relief.  
As soon as they got out of the barracks, as soon as they left those physical reminders of the past behind, they could start anew. They could start anew together.  
“Yes. Yes.”  
Aubrey could only think of the one word but it would do the trick.  
Levi kissed her for the millionth time that morning but Aubrey still couldn’t seem to get enough. Her lips moved with his and he was holding her so tightly that he’d nearly lifted her off the floor. It was a special kind of kiss, one in which they were both only thinking of the future.  
Eventually, they both needed air and they broke apart, panting. They clung to each other for a moment longer until Aubrey realized that time had managed to slip away from her again. They were definitely late. Reluctantly, she spoke up.  
“Your straps, Levi.”  
Levi pulled away, confused for just a second before he realized what she meant.  
He sighed, letting go of her and opening his closet. He froze for a moment when he saw Furlan’s clothes hung next to his. Luckily, Aubrey’s hands were on his back almost immediately and pulled himself together enough to find his straps.  
When he had them, he turned back to her and Aubrey didn’t hesitate to take them from his hands. She unraveled the leather, and pushed Levi’s uniform jacket off his shoulders. He helped her slip the straps over his arms and with the two of them working together the work was finished in just a few minutes.  
Levi took Aubrey’s pair from where they were still slung over her shoulder and started the process all over again.  
They were done in record time and the instant the last buckle was in place, their fingers laced together. It was finally time to go.  
Aubrey placed a kiss on Levi’s cheek and then let him lead her toward the door. When his hand landed on the knob, he paused, taking one last glance behind him. The room was cold, empty, and just the sight of it made his pain worsen. But he’d faced it.  
Aubrey squeezed his hand and Levi looked back at her. He wondered what he’d ever done to deserve her.  
She moved forward, placing her hand over his on the doorknob and together they walked out, leaving the past behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, NOT ME looking up white flowers on the internet and just picking anemone because it looked pretty lol.  
> Also, NOT ME crying while writing my own fic because they’re so cute omg. I can’t with myself. Like, why am I crying??? I know what’s about to happen because I’m literally writing it lol.  
> Okay, lol, I hope everyone liked this chapter. It kind of went in a different direction than I originally had planned but I still like it. It was hella cute. Also kinda sad but, like, who doesn’t like a little angst, right?  
> Who else is hyped for them to move innnnnn??? I get excited about my own story. They’re just so CUTE. I cannot.  
> I think y’all liked the smut chapter, too, hah. I’ll keep them coming if you want. I’m not gonna lie they’re lowkey fun to write. I have come a long way from being as red as a tomato when I wrote the first one lol.  
> And y’all have really been leaving the SWEETEST comments! I read all of them and pretty much all of them make me cry lol. They just make me so happy :’) PLEASE keep leaving them. Some of you keep saying that you think you’re annoying but I LITERALLY refresh the page to see if there are any new ones to read. So, no, you are not annoying. Thanks for reading my story. It means so much to me and I love y’all :)))


	44. Chapter 44

The Mess Hall seemed quiet as they approached but that was no surprise. They were extremely late and they would just barely have enough time to eat and get out to the training field.  
When they rounded the corner, Aubrey’s eyes immediately scanned the tables and she was surprised to see Erwin still in his seat with Hange beside him.  
She tugged on Levi’s hand and pulled him across the room. She wanted to know why they’d stuck around.  
When they finally arrived, Aubrey’s eyes met Erwin’s and he smiled up at her.  
“Good morning.”  
Aubrey couldn’t help but smile back.  
“Good morning, Erwin.”  
“How did you sleep?”  
Aubrey’s smile fell away. She didn’t really want to think about Levi’s recurring bouts of grief if she didn’t have to.  
“Fine, thank you.” She quickly decided to change the topic. “Why are you two still here? Isn’t training going to start soon?”  
Erwin nodded.  
“Yes, but we decided to wait for you.”  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed.  
“What? Why?”  
This time Hange was the one to answer.  
“Because we have questions.”  
The air went cold and Aubrey went quiet. She hadn’t been expecting that.  
“She already told you everything you need to know.”  
Aubrey turned to Levi, a little shocked that he’d joined into the conversation and a little more shocked at his sudden protectiveness.  
His eyes were hard and his lips were twisted into a mean frown.  
Aubrey squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him.  
“No, it’s okay.” Aubrey was speaking to everyone but her eyes were still on Levi.  
He turned to her, his gaze smoldering with intensity. He didn’t like the idea of her having to drag up painful memories if she wasn’t ready. The others had no right to cause her that kind of discomfort.  
Aubrey stared back at him, trying to convey that it really was okay. She didn’t really want to discuss her childhood again but she’d decided to stop hiding it. And, if Erwin and Hange had questions she’d rather just answer them straight away.  
Erwin watched carefully as the two of them engaged in their little staring contest. He could almost see the communication flying back and forth as they both struggled to gain the upper hand.  
Hange had noticed too and her eyes were glued to them as she wondered how they could be so adept at speaking silently.  
Finally, Levi couldn’t take it anymore. He scoffed and tore his gaze from hers. If she really wanted to tell them then that was her choice. He’d just have to step in again if something went too far.  
“Fine. Food first.”  
Aubrey didn’t even have time to respond before he dragged her away to the food tables.  
As soon as they got there he shoved a tray in her hands and waited to see that she was filling it before finally picking up a plate for himself.  
Levi moved more quickly than her and by the time she’d finished, he had already secured a cup of hot water for her. She glowered at it. The idea of tasting the tea again was revolting. But it had to be done.  
Levi waited for her to start walking and then followed her back to the table, never straying more than two feet from her side.  
When they finally reached their seats, Levi slid in beside her and placed the cup of water on her left.  
Aubrey looked up at him, a desperate expression covering her face. She wasn’t sure what kinds of questions she was about to be asked and she was silently asking for his support.  
His eyes immediately softened and Aubrey felt his hand on her thigh beneath the table. She sighed, grateful to have his touch grounding her.  
Levi tilted his head toward her tray. Eat.  
Aubrey followed his instruction, picking up her spoon and taking a bite of her oatmeal. As soon as she swallowed, she took a deep breath and turned her attention back to Erwin.  
“What do you want to know?”  
Erwin was unable to answer for a second. He’d been too focused on the way Aubrey and Levi had been displaying such a silent connection. Last night, he’d known they were close, but from their actions this morning it almost seemed like they’d known each other for years.  
Finally, he managed to pull himself back to the present and ask his first question.  
“I’d like to know more about your… training.”  
Aubrey saw Levi’s eyes shoot to Erwin, a death glare forming in his eyes. She grabbed his hand beneath the table and shoved it into her pocket. He could focus on getting the plants ready. Maybe he’d stop looking like he wanted to kill someone if he had a distraction.  
“What about it?”  
Aubrey’s plan worked and Levi turned to stare at her. His expression had shifted from murderous to surprised and she knew he’d be occupied for at least a few minutes. Perhaps she could even multitask and teach him how to make the tea.  
Erwin was stunned again by their closeness but this time he was able to respond more quickly.  
“I’d like to know what drills you did, how long you practiced every day, what your focuses were, all of it.”  
Aubrey processed his question as she saw Levi place the plants on the table. He was still scowling at Erwin, but it wasn’t as intense as before.  
Aubrey pointed to the familiar white flower and then to an inconspicuous looking weed.  
“Three of these petals and then one of those leaves, please.”  
She moved the glass of hot water in front of him and then returned her attention to Erwin.  
“Can I ask why you want to know this?”  
Erwin was once again distracted by the directions Aubrey had given to Levi and Hange was growing impatient. She decided to answer for him.  
“We want to know if those methods can be applied to our training here.”  
Aubrey sighed. She had a feeling it would be something like that. She shook her head.  
“I’ll tell you but I’m not sure my information will be of any use. My abilities are a result of abuse and terror. Those tactics should not be used on anyone.”  
Aubrey briefly turned back to Levi.  
“Two of these, one of these, and one of these.” Her fingers gestured to a few more plants before Hange spoke up again.  
“We know that, but maybe we can… alter the methods to be more… humane.”  
Aubrey frowned but she decided to tell them anyway. Maybe they’d be able to see something she couldn’t.  
“Well, my foundation was always centered in strength and balance. I spent hours in a balance swing and my father would push me in hand to hand combat until I threw up. Then he’d make me get up and keep going.”  
Aubrey was almost grateful when she felt the familiar surge of anger go through her at the mention of her father. She’d rather be angry than upset. She wasn’t in the mood to cry before training.  
The table went silent but Aubrey wasn’t fazed. She looked at what was left of the plants.  
“Two of these, and one of these. And that’s all.”  
She turned back to Hange, waiting for the next question.  
Hange recognized that she had Aubrey’s attention and forced herself out of her stupor to continue.  
“U-um… and what about your hand to hand combat? What kind of training did you do for that?”  
“You ask too many questions, four eyes.”  
Levi angrily slid the finished tea into Aubrey’s hand as everyone turned to look at him.  
Aubrey’s mouth popped open.  
“Levi! Don’t be rude!”  
She elbowed him in the ribs but he barely reacted.  
“Tch. There’s no point to this. There’s no such thing as adapting torture.”  
The table went quiet again. Levi had a point.  
Finally, Erwin spoke up for the first time since Hange’s takeover.  
“Levi’s right. Perhaps we didn’t think this all the way through. I’m sorry for even asking, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey was about to object but Levi closed the subject before she could even open her mouth.  
“Good. Glad we agree. Now, Aubrey, eat.”  
She looked to him, still not quite convinced. Maybe Erwin and Hange would have been able to see something she couldn’t. But in her heart, she knew that wasn’t true. Levi was right. There was no way to adapt torture.  
Her attention turned back to her tray and she took another bite of oatmeal, washing it down with a gulp of tea that she tried not to taste.  
Everything was silent for a long time until Erwin finally cleared his throat. He knew they were done discussing any kind of training but he did have some other news to tell them.  
“Aubrey. I have someone going through the records today. The change should be complete by tonight.”  
Aubrey froze. She knew she’d asked for the change but hearing that it was in motion was… jarring. Once it had been made, her father would be able to see her name on any of the public records. He’d be able to walk right on to base and ask for her if he wanted to.  
She shook herself from her trance. She knew how unlikely that was so there was no point in thinking about. Instead, she decided to focus on the idea that she was finally taking back her identity, that she would no longer be no one. Both literally and figuratively.  
Aubrey thought back to the rest of their conversation from the night before and suddenly she remembered that she had her own news to share.  
“Thank you, Erwin. And, um, there’s actually something we need to tell you.”  
Erwin quickly recognized the reference to ‘we’.  
“Ah, you’ve chosen a room?”  
Hange jumped in her seat and Aubrey had to fight to contain a smile. She’d forgotten that her friend didn’t know about their moving.  
“Yes.”  
Erwin raised an eyebrow.  
“Can I ask which one?”  
Now Aubrey really couldn’t contain her smile and a grin spread across her face.  
“The Commander’s Suite.”  
Aubrey was pretty sure she saw Hange choke on nothing.  
Erwin just chuckled.  
“I guess I should have known.”  
Aubrey leaned forward, her eyes widening. She’d hoped that Erwin would let them have the room but there was always the possibility of him saying no, especially when it was so luxurious.  
“You’ll let us take it, then?”  
Erwin smiled back at her.  
“Well I’m not using it, am I?”  
Aubrey couldn’t contain herself. She sprang from her seat, rushing around the table to place a kiss on his cheek.  
“Thank you, Erwin.”  
He shook his head.  
“There’s no need to thank me. You deserve it.”  
Aubrey embraced him, nearly squealing with excitement. She turned to Levi and saw that even he had his lips turned up at the corners. In Levi terms he was practically jumping up and down.  
She moved back to him, grabbing his hand and yanking him out of his seat.  
Her eyes went to Erwin again.  
“Well, let’s go. We’re all late.”  
Erwin chuckled again but did as she said and stood from his seat. Aubrey watched as Hange scrambled to her feet, a shocked expression still on her features.  
“I’m actually headed back to my office. Saru knows you’re coming. If you have any issues you know where to find me.”  
Aubrey was a bit saddened that he wouldn’t be joining them but she didn’t let it ruin her mood.  
“Thank you again, Erwin. For everything.”  
Erwin nodded and as he walked past her, his hand gently patted the top of her head. Aubrey watched him disappear from the Mess Hall. Hange followed closely behind him and Aubrey deduced that she’d probably be working on research today instead of participating in training. She made a mental note to find her friend later. It’d been far too long since they talked. Plus, she’d have to apologize for Levi calling her ‘four eyes’. She couldn’t believe he’d said that. Or maybe she could.  
As soon as they were out of sight, Aubrey turned back to Levi.  
“Okay, let’s-”  
“One more.”  
She was cut off when Levi pressed her teacup into her hands. She looked down to see that there was one last gulp remaining. She groaned.  
Levi just pressed the cup further into her grip.  
She gathered her willpower and managed to get the rest of the tea down in one swallow.  
Levi took the cup from her and gathered their empty trays, moving to the back of the room to discard them.  
Aubrey watched after him, a small frown on her lips. They’d have to leave the Mess Hall now and start training. And that meant facing the Special Ops squad. Aubrey cringed. She didn’t expect them to be very happy with her after she’d abandoned them during the expedition.  
“Oi.”  
Aubrey heard Levi’s voice ring out and she was brought back to the present.  
He’d already returned to her and she was surprised to see a concerned look on his face.  
“What’s wrong?”  
Aubrey realized that she was still frowning. She sighed.  
“Nothing, I just… don’t think my squad is going to be very happy with me. I, um, abandoned them on the expedition.”  
Levi went silent. He could guess why she’d left her squad behind. He reached for her hand and pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her back. He couldn’t express to her how thankful he was that she had abandoned her squad back then. If she hadn’t… who knows what he would’ve done.  
Aubrey pressed into him, her forehead leaning on his shoulder. She stayed there for a moment before pulling back and shaking her head. She couldn’t think about that right now. They had places to be, people to see. Plus, Levi’s whole purpose for coming to training had been to escape his thoughts about the past. She needed to change their focus.  
She placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for a quick kiss before speaking.  
“I’m sure everything will be fine. Besides, they’ll probably be too scared of you to even notice I’m there.”  
Levi scoffed and Aubrey was happy to feel that her ridiculous statement had lightened the air around them.  
“But we do have to go now.”  
Levi huffed and moved back. His hand found hers and he allowed her to lead them out of the Mess Hall and on to the training field.  
Everyone was already in their squads, nearly ready to begin the day. Aubrey scanned the groups, looking for any sign of Special Ops. Her eyes finally landed on Chris and she paused, turning back to Levi.  
“Ready?”  
He nodded.  
Aubrey untangled their fingers. She figured he probably wouldn’t want to be holding her hand for introductions. It didn’t really fit his ‘scary’ branding. He raised an eyebrow at her action but didn’t say anything.  
Aubrey took one last look at him, reaching up to brush a lock of hair from his eyes. Then, she drew her attention back to Chris, seeing the rest of the squad surrounding her.  
“Let’s go, then.”  
Aubrey took off and Levi followed close behind her.  
As soon as they neared the group, Aubrey felt Saru’s eyes piercing through her. She swallowed. She’d been right about them being mad. She was probably going to get ripped to shreds by the Captain.  
They finally came to a stop and the entire squad turned to stare at them. Aubrey glanced at Chris, noticing that her friend looked overly concerned. Aubrey wasn’t sure if it was because Saru was about to ream her out or if she was still upset by what had happened during the expedition. It was probably both.  
“So you two finally decided to show up, huh?”  
Saru was looking them up and down, an unamused expression covering her face.  
Aubrey swallowed.  
“Sorry, Captain. We, uh, got held up in the Mess Hall.”  
Saru arched an eyebrow. She obviously didn’t care what their excuse was. She was going to be annoyed no matter what.  
“Right. Where’s your gear?”  
Saru’s eyes went to their waists, realizing that they had no 3DMG, just straps.  
Aubrey cleared her throat.  
“Um, we’ll be using some spares today, Captain.”  
Aubrey hadn’t wanted to lug the gear into the forest and around the grounds so she’d left it in their room this morning. Now, the disgusted look Saru was giving them was making her regret her decision.  
“Fine, but make sure you get it on quick. I’ve already waited long enough for you two.”  
Saru finally shifted her eyes to Levi.  
“You. Levi, right? We’re going to do introductions first. Chris, you’re up.”  
Aubrey glanced at Levi, seeing that he looked utterly bored with the idea of introducing himself. Nonetheless, he didn’t put up a fight.  
Chirs stepped forward hesitantly, her eyes still concerned but with an added glimmer of curiosity. She shifted nervously for a second and then spoke up.  
“I’m Chris. Nice to meet you.”  
She extended her hand and Levi stared down at it. Aubrey nudged him. If he was going to be nice to anyone here, it should be Chris. She was the most decent person on the squad.  
Levi shot Aubrey an irritated glance but his hand eventually moved forward.  
“Levi.”  
Aubrey watched as they loosely shook hands. Chris smiled but it faded quickly when she saw that Levi was maintaining his neutral expression. Aubrey sighed. That was the best she was going to get out of him.  
Saru noticed that their interaction had come to an end and quickly called Lena forward. The introductions continued but Aubrey didn’t force Levi to shake anyone else’s hand. Lena had always been blunt with her and Jacob and Leo were as rude as ever. After Chris’s introduction Aubrey just wanted the whole thing to be over.  
Finally, Leo stepped away and the introductions came to an end.  
“Alright, you two go get some gear. And make it snappy.”  
Aubrey didn’t hesitate to get out of there. She wrapped her hand around Levi’s wrist and dragged him away toward the shed that held all extra gear. It was on the edge of the field but they were already fairly close. It would take them less than a minute to get there.  
They walked in silence as Aubrey thought about the fact that Saru hadn’t even mentioned her disobedience. She suspected Erwin had something to do with that. He always thought way ahead of her.  
When they arrived at the shed, Aubrey went into the shed and managed to find two sets of extra gear. They were both ready in just a matter of minutes.  
“Levi.” Aubrey spoke up. She just had one last thing to say to him before they went back. “Don’t rip anyone’s head off today, okay? Especially Chris. I like her.”  
Levi scoffed.  
“Wasn’t planning on it.”  
Aubrey smiled at him. She was glad she could lighten the mood a little before they returned to the group. Things had gotten a little gloomy after Saru’s forced introductions.  
She stepped toward him, placing a kiss on his jaw before grabbing his wrist again and heading back.  
_______________________  
Training was tough. Aubrey had a hard time being away from Levi even during the drills. They’d been together constantly for the last two days and his absence was jarring. Whenever she could, she stood close to him, allowing their hands to brush and their shoulders to touch.  
At one point, Leo and Jacob had started teasing her about her kiss on the field but she just knocked them over the head. They were lucky that’s all they got. If Levi had been there, she was pretty sure he would have torn someone’s head off.  
Lunch was a nice break but it was short and just holding Levi’s hand didn’t seem like enough.  
When the afternoon finally rolled around, Aubrey finally started to feel hopeful. She knew that the second the dinner bell rang, they would head to their rooms and pack their things. They were going to move.  
Aubrey was excited but… also scared. Moving would mean going through all of the things she’d left untouched for so long. There was no doubt in her mind that she would cry. The thought of disturbing Tika’s things after so long was almost too much to handle. But… she would have Levi. If he was there… she could do it.  
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Aubrey could see the sun lowering in the sky and she knew it was only a matter of minutes before they were set free. She looked for Levi on the branch next to her only to find that she already had his attention. A knowing look was exchanged and Aubrey knew that they’d be leaving the second the dinner bell rang.  
The seconds ticked by and eventually, after Aubrey had sworn several times that the damn bell must be broken, the chime rang through the air.  
She flew out of the forest and landed as quickly as possible. Before she could even turn around she heard the thump of someone landing beside her. She turned to see Levi on her right and her hand instantly found his.  
For a moment, all she could do was stare at him. They’d been waiting all day and now the time had finally come.  
Aubrey found her voice.  
“Ready?”  
Levi nodded.  
“Okay… my room first.”  
Levi squeezed her hand a bit tighter. He knew how hard this was going to be… for both of them.  
Aubrey couldn’t resist moving closer to him and pressing her forehead to his chest. She was already struggling and she needed him.  
If Levi minded, he didn’t say anything. He just held her hand tighter.  
Finally, Aubrey felt strong enough to pull away. She knew it would be difficult and she wasn’t sure she would ever be totally prepared, but… she was ready.  
Aubrey took one last deep breath and met Levi’s stare. His eyes were burning.  
“Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, not gonna lie. I don’t really like this chapter. I feel like it’s choppy and the words just don’t flow right. BUT, it’s the best I could do. Maybe I’m just imagining things because the last chapters have been really emotional and soft while this one needed to be a little more straight forward. Idk.  
> Anyway, next chapter will be back to emotional because it’s the moving chapter lol.  
> Also, I’m sad to say that my updates will probably be a bit slower starting Monday. I’m starting school and… ugh. Seriously, pray for me.  
> Your comments are great by the way! I still lowkey cry every time I read them. Y’all are literally the nicest people on the planet. But I’m STILL a comment PIG so keep leaving them, pleaseeeeee. They make me happyyyyyyyy. Thank youuuuuuuu :)))


	45. Chapter 45

Aubrey was grateful that her little white lie to Levi hadn’t been a lie at all. The tea hadn’t made her sick. If it had, she was sure that the thought of cleaning out her room would have her keeled over right about now.  
She and Levi were standing outside her door, Aubrey’s hand on the knob. She could already feel herself shaking. The thought of entering that room with the intention of uncovering all of the memories she had tried to avoid for so long… it had her in shambles.  
Just when she was about to back away, to tell Levi she couldn’t do it, she felt his arms slide around her waist.  
“Open the door, Aubrey. I know you can.”  
Aubrey trembled in his grip. It just felt so… impossible.  
Levi placed a kiss on her neck.  
“Open it, Aubrey. I’m right here.”  
Her breaths were shallow and irregular. Could she do it? Could she really do it?  
Levi tightened his arms around her.  
“Aubrey.”  
Her hand twisted the knob and the door creaked open. She’d done it.  
Levi kissed her neck again but didn’t let go of her waist. He wasn’t sure she’d be able to stay standing without his support.  
Aubrey stared inside of her room. She felt like she was being transported back to that first day when she’d had to face Tika’s half, knowing that her best friend would never return to it. The emptiness of the space seemed so… hopeless.  
Aubrey felt Levi’s lips moving across her skin and she was suddenly brought back to reality. This wasn’t that first, horrible day. It had been months. And right now, things weren’t hopeless. They were anything but hopeless. Levi was behind her, ready to help her move forward, to start a new life. Her mind was playing tricks on her, trying to drag up all of the trauma she’d pushed so deep down. It didn’t matter. She was going to do this. She had to do this.  
Little by little, Aubrey felt her own legs starting to support her again until she was fully standing on her own. She felt Levi’s hands drop from her waist and instead they moved to the small of her back. He was ready when she was.  
Aubrey took a deep breath. Once she stepped in there was no going back.  
Finally, her foot moved forward and she walked inside.  
Aubrey shuddered again when she entered. The room suddenly seemed so… small, like it was suffocating her.  
She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, repeating in her head that she could do this. Levi was right behind her, so close that she could feel the heat radiating off him. As long as he stayed there, she could do this.  
Her eyes opened and she turned to him as she opened her mouth.  
“There should be some empty boxes in the closet that we can use to carry things. Let’s start with the dresser.”  
Levi nodded and hurried to find the boxes that Aubrey had referred to. After a bit of rummaging around, he found them. There weren’t nearly enough to fit everything but it was a start. As long as they could get everything out the door, they could take as many trips as they needed to. It was being inside the room that caused pain.  
Levi walked over to the dresser, boxes in hand. Aubrey had already opened a drawer and she had a pile of clothes in her hands ready to be put away.  
Levi set a box at her feet and watched as she carefully set the clothes inside, squishing them down so there would be room for more. As soon as she’d finished with that stack she was back in the dresser, taking out as many things as she could as quickly as she could.  
Levi joined her. He opened a drawer and pulled out a couple of folded shirts. He kept going, forming a pile of his own until it was big enough to put away.  
They kept on but Levi halted when he heard Aubrey gasp. He whipped his head around to look at her, ready to go to her at any second. But even he froze when he saw what had caused her to stop.  
In her hands she held the bloodied uniform she’d hidden way earlier that morning. It just kept coming back to haunt them.  
Levi was stunned but he refused to let himself drift into the past.  
Aubrey glanced up at him. He seemed to be fighting the far-off look he always took on but she could still tell he was in pain. She needed to act fast. 

She pulled herself away from the dresser and carried the uniform to the trash, tossing it with a bit more force than necessary. She never wanted to see the thing again. It was time to be done with it.  
As soon as it was out of sight, Aubrey turned back to Levi, seeing that he was already staring at her.  
She returned his side, gently reaching for his face and forcing him to look at her.  
“It’s gone. Never think of it again.”  
Levi stared down at her. He was a bit upset that he’d allowed her to remove another of his obstacles when he’d sworn to face them himself. She always had a way of moving before he could speak up. But right now was not the time to bring it up. Right now he was entirely focused on her. What he wanted didn’t matter. He’d do whatever he could to help her through.  
Levi nodded, turning his head into her hand and kissing her palm.  
They stayed there for a moment until Levi decided they should get back to the task at hand. He grabbed her wrists and slowly lowered them away from his face as he moved forward to place a kiss on her forehead.  
“Let’s finish the dresser.”  
Aubrey nodded and pulled back to scan his features one last time, searching for any signs of distress. Surprisingly, she saw none.  
Before she could do it herself, Levi turned back to the dresser and started pulling out more clothing. After a few more seconds of observing, Aubrey joined him, hoping that they wouldn’t find any more unexpected surprises.  
Soon, the two of them had made their way through the whole thing and Aubrey packed in the last pile of pants. Her clothes had taken up just one box. She didn’t really have many beyond what she needed. Just things for training and then a few outfits for weekends and sleeping. That was all.  
Aubrey raised her eyes to Levi. He was watching her closely and she could tell that he thought she could break at any second. He was probably right.  
“The desk next.”  
Levi nodded, grabbing an empty box and taking her hand as they moved on.  
The process was much the same. Both of them worked together to empty the contents of the desk. There wasn’t much in it since Levi had made her go through it all just a few weeks ago.  
Next was the bed. Aubrey picked up the herbs she’d left there that morning and stuffed them in her pockets. Levi helped her strip the sheets and then they moved on.  
There was only one place left to go through before she reached Tika's side of the room. The closet.  
The closet would be almost as bad as Tika’s half. It held all of Jack’s things.  
Aubrey took a shuddering breath and felt Levi take her hand again. She would need him even more for this part.  
She hesitated for just a second and then moved forward, pushing into the closet and dragging out all of the boxes. She was going to go through them. She would keep all of the important things and throw out the junk. When Jack had died, Aubrey had just hastily thrown everything into boxes. She hadn’t cared what it was. It was his.  
But now… it was time to let go.  
Aubrey opened the first box, finding that it was full of clothes. Levi sat on the ground beside her. He knew he couldn’t help her with this part.  
Aubrey went through each item, handing the ones she wanted to keep to Levi and placing the ones she’d get rid of to the side.  
They continued that way for quite some time. Every so often, Levi would stroke her hair or kiss her cheek and Aubrey was thankful to have his touch. It kept her from breaking.  
Finally, Aubrey got to the last piece and, despite the downcast atmosphere, she nearly laughed. She pulled it out and placed it in Levi’s hands. His brows furrowed.  
“What is this?”  
Aubrey gave a small huff.  
“It’s a cravat.”  
Levi arched an eyebrow.  
“What?”  
Aubrey smiled at him and took it back.  
“Here.”  
She reached for his collar and tucked the cloth haphazardly into his shirt. It definitely wasn’t the right way to wear it, but he’d get the idea.  
Levi looked back up at her.  
“Why did he have this?”  
Aubrey was surprised when she chuckled instead of sobbed.  
“He wore it when we needed to dress up. Ya know, when important Military people would come by, at our graduation ceremony. That kind of stuff.”  
Aubrey smiled again.  
“You keep it. It looks good on you.”  
She wiggled her eyebrows at him and Levi scoffed. He put it in the box of things they’d take with them.  
Aubrey moved on to the next box and went through it quickly. It contained more miscellaneous items. There were plenty of letters he’d never sent out, candles he’d never used, a few books with the bookmarks still in them. Aubrey tossed all but one of the letters. She wanted to be able to remember his handwriting. All of the candles went to the trash but Aubrey couldn’t bring herself to part with the books. They’d need some on their giant bookshelves anyway.  
Things carried on like that until Aubrey finally put the last item in Levi’s hands.  
She stared at the empty boxes in front of her. Maybe now they’d have enough to actually pack away all of her stuff. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten through it without breaking.  
Levi took her arm and pulled her into his lap. He kissed her hair and wrapped an arm around her waist. He hoped it helped.  
Aubrey leaned into him and let out a long breath. Now would come the really hard part. Jack’s things had already been moved and put away in her closet months ago. Tika’s things, though… they were still exactly where she’d left them. That meant that packing them away would be more than hard… it would be excruciating.  
Aubrey moved out of Levi’s lap and shakily stood. He held her steady before rising beside her.  
Both of them turned their attention to the side of the room that they had yet to touch.  
Aubrey reached for Levi and his hand instantly found hers.  
“Where do you want to start?” Levi’s words were barely above a whisper.  
Aubrey took a deep breath.  
“The dresser.”  
Levi nodded but waited for Aubrey to move first. He’d stay still until she was ready.  
Aubrey glanced over at him and hesitated for just a second before walking forward. She wanted to get it over with. Stalling would only make things worse.  
Levi stayed close and when they reached the dresser he squeezed her hand and sent her an encouraging glance. Aubrey looked at him one last time, trying to remember that the pain would be worth it in the end. When all of this was over, she would have Levi to help her heal.  
Before she could think too hard, Aubrey yanked open the top drawer of the dresser. The room was dead silent as Aubrey examined the items in front of her. Her mind flashed back over and over and over again to days she’d seen Tika wearing every piece.  
Aubrey felt the tears coming on again and she stifled a sob as she reached for a shirt. Just looking at it was causing crushing waves of anguish to wash over her.  
Levi reached for her, pulling her forehead to his lips as she looked down at the clothing in her grip.  
Levi moved his hand from her head to the shirt.  
“Keep or leave?”  
He knew that allowing Aubrey to think too much would only cause her more pain. He wanted her to face this but he still wanted her to be whole when she finished.  
Aubrey met his eyes and was suddenly very grateful that he’d interrupted her thoughts. She’d been going down a dark path.  
“Keep.” Her voice was rough and low and Levi could easily tell how much she was hurting.  
He placed another kiss on her forehead and took the garment from her hands, placing it in a box.  
Aubrey reached for another and another and another and every time the action was much the same. Her mind would take her back, bringing up memory after memory and then Levi would bring her back, asking if she wanted to keep it or leave it.  
Aubrey could barely ever bring herself to say ‘leave’ but she forced herself to get rid of the garments that weren’t connected to any particularly special memories.  
By the time they finished, Aubrey wasn’t sure if they'd been standing there for minutes or hours. Both seemed plausible.  
When she handed the last piece over to Levi, she let out a shaky breath. They only had the closet, the bed, and the desk left.  
The closet wouldn’t take long. Just like herself, Aubrey knew that Tika hadn’t had excess clothing. There wasn’t really anything she could have put in there. The bed just needed to have the sheets stripped. The desk on the other hand… Aubrey had no idea what would be in there.  
Levi’s lips on her forehead brought her back to the present once again and she looked up at him.  
“What next?”  
Aubrey shuddered. She’d get the closet over and done with. She needed a break after the dresser.  
“Closet.”  
Levi nodded.  
Aubrey hesitantly opened the door and was relieved to see that there were just a couple sets of extra straps and a couple pairs of boots. Aubrey discarded all of them.  
When Levi saw that she’d finished there, he moved them to the bed, quickly taking off the bedding that had sat for so long.  
Finally, Aubrey’s eyes moved to the desk. She swallowed. This would be the most difficult part.  
She turned to Levi and easily found the support she was looking for in his eyes. It seemed like he could read her mind.  
This time, Aubrey approached the desk alone. She wanted to spare Levi her initial expression.  
Her fingers wrapped around the handle of the top drawer and she almost felt as if she wouldn’t be physically strong enough to open it. But, with one last surge of willpower, Aubrey ripped it open and her eyes landed on its contents.  
The first thing she noticed was how… mundane it was. There were a few scraps of paper near the top with writing on them. Aubrey picked one up, slowly bringing it closer.  
“Do laundry”  
Aubrey picked up another.  
“Training at six on Wednesday”  
And another.  
“Clean 3DMG”  
They were notes, little reminders Tika had left for herself. Aubrey didn’t recall her having such a habit. Maybe Tika had been embarrassed that she couldn’t remember to do the laundry without a reminder.  
Aubrey shuffled through the rest of the drawer. She found a few quills, some ink, the odd hair pin, and a couple pieces of precious candy tucked into the corner. She gave a sad smile. Tika had always had a sweet tooth.  
Aubrey could feel Levi’s presence behind her but he stayed back. Perhaps he could sense that she wanted to do this part alone.  
Aubrey moved on to the next drawer. She found more of the same. Notes and scraps and other things that had little importance. Aubrey sighed when she finally emptied the drawer. She only had one to go. Maybe the desk wouldn’t be as bad as she’d thought.  
Aubrey pulled open the last drawer but was surprised to see that it only held one thing. There was a small, leather-bound notebook sitting all alone. Aubrey would recognize it anywhere. It was Tika’s diary.  
Aubrey felt herself starting to tremble again as she picked it up. She wasn’t sure what she would find inside but, whatever it was, she was sure it would bring back the past.  
“Levi.”  
He was at her side in a second.  
Aubrey grabbed his arm and wrapped it around her. She’d need him in order to get through this part. Levi didn’t hesitate to hold her tightly.  
Aubrey took another shaky breath and, with a tender touch, she opened the diary.  
Most of what was written was just Tika’s account of the days. A lot of it was dedicated to their time in the Training Corps but as Aubrey moved further and further into the book, she eventually came upon Tika’s take on their Choosing Ceremony. The entry was rather short and briefly touched on her choice to join the Scouts. Aubrey guessed that she’d probably been too scared to write much that day.  
Aubrey pushed on, reliving the days before her friends’ deaths. It tore her heart to pieces.  
Finally, Aubrey realized that the next page would be the last. Aubrey saw the book start to tremble and she realized that she was no longer able to hold it still. But, just as soon as the shaking had started, it stopped. Aubrey looked to see that Levi had placed a hand over hers, steadying the diary.  
She pressed into him and then, after one last pause, she turned the page.  
For a moment, Aubrey couldn’t even read. The letters were just an incomprehensible blur. But then her mind began to clear and she could see the words forming.  
Aubrey glanced at Levi, searching for one last bit of comfort.  
He nodded at her, a strong look in his eyes. He was ready to help her through anything.  
Slowly, Aubrey returned her eyes to the page.  
“(Y/N is stressed about the expedition. She’s writhing around in her sleep again. One time she even screamed. She hasn’t done that since we first joined the Training Corps. I wish I could tell her that everything will be okay but… I’m not an idiot. I know the survival rates on expeditions. I just hope she doesn’t blame herself should something happen to me. Or to Jack. Neither of us want that. I keep wanting to tell her how I feel but I know she wouldn’t accept it. I think she refuses to believe something could go wrong. So, I’ll settle for just telling her how much I love her. If she knows that, I’ll be able to go out there with no regrets. She’s been a sister to me and… I hope that, no matter what happens, she finds peace one day. With or without me.”  
For a moment, Aubrey couldn’t react. Her eyes scanned the words over and over again until, finally, the first twinge of emotion set in.  
Aubrey’s hands gripped the paper so tightly that she was surprised it didn’t rip.  
A tear slid down her cheek. Then another. And another. Soon, she was sobbing in silence. She was holding the last piece of her friend she had.  
Aubrey felt like her heart was breaking all over again. The agony was almost too much to bear.  
Her cries remained silent, but inside Aubrey could feel herself being ripped to shreds. She was breaking.  
Except, this time, she had someone to sew her back together.  
Aubrey felt Levi’s hands on her cheeks, wiping away the tears. His touch was gentle yet firm and it was just enough to keep Aubrey from completely shattering.  
Just a second later. Levi wrapped his arms around her once again and he lowered them both to the floor. He pulled her close and his lips hit hers.  
At first, Aubrey couldn’t respond. She was still too lost. Levi didn’t seem to mind. He kept kissing her, his hands sliding all over her body.  
Eventually, Aubrey began to find some comfort in his touches. They were the only relief she had from the overwhelming pain. Slowly, her lips started to move with his.  
Levi recognized her return immediately. His hand traveled to her jaw and he kissed her with a bit more force. Aubrey answered his intensity and soon her fingers had found his face, trailing lightly across his skin.  
Levi’s closeness started to dry her tears. The pain was still raging but with every touch of his lips, she could feel her heart piecing itself back together. This wasn’t like the last time she’d dealt with her friends’ deaths. Back then she’d had nothing, no one. Now she had the one person she knew was capable of keeping her complete for the rest of her life.  
Aubrey sat with him on the floor of the room that had torn her apart time and time again… and felt him put her back together.  
After minutes of Levi’s constant touch, Aubrey finally knew she could support herself. She pulled away from his lips and buried herself in his chest while she caught her breath. Once again, Levi had managed to save her.  
Seconds ticked by and after a great deal of breathing, Aubrey raised her eyes to Levi’s. She couldn’t express to him what he’d just done for her, how his presence had saved her. But, from the look he was giving her, she didn’t think she needed to.  
Aubrey glanced around the room one more time. For the first time in forever, it was empty. Everything in it had been packed away into the boxes and now there was nothing left but dust. It was over. She’d done it.  
Aubrey turned her attention to the diary. It was laying on the floor next to her. She didn’t remember when she’d dropped it. She must have lost herself in the frenzy.  
Aubrey picked it up, flipped it open, and placed Tika’s final note back in its resting place. She’d never get rid of the diary but, for now, it was time to set it aside. It was time to look to the future, not the past.  
Aubrey set the book in their box of things to keep and then turned back to Levi. He’d helped her through her pain, now it was time for her to help him.  
“I’m ready.”  
Levi didn’t need her to elaborate. He stood and then extended a hand to help her up. Once he was sure she was steady on her feet, he reached for the nearest box, carrying it outside. He returned, carrying the rest of their things away while Aubrey took one last look around the space. She was sure it was the last time she’d ever see it.  
When Levi set down the final box he went back to her, embracing her from behind.  
“I’m ready.”  
Aubrey sighed. She knew it was time to go now. She nodded.  
Levi found her hand and laced their fingers, gently tugging Aubrey toward the exit.  
Aubrey halted just before she stepped out and Levi paused. He wasn’t going to rush her.  
She looked down at her feet, eyeing where the entry gave way to the outside. She took a deep breath and with one last push, stepped out of her room and closed the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I like this chapter better than the last one :) But y’all told me the last one wasn’t all that bad anyway so maybe I WAS imagining things.  
> Anyway, this chapter turned out differently than I was expecting. I was thinking I’d be able to fit the whole moving ordeal into one chapter but it seems like it’s gonna be a two or three chapter kinda thing. I just wanted to take the time to really close the Tika/Jack aspect. It’s been a significant theme in this fic so I felt like I needed to finish it properly. Next chapter will be Levi’s stuff :’(  
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave a comment. Now that I’m starting school I’m gonna need all the motivation I can get lol. Y’all are so sweet and when I get a comment I squeal sooooooooo… Please leave one. I need the serotonin.


	46. Chapter 46

They managed to deliver all of their boxes in just a few trips. The walk to the castle and back was a bit long but Aubrey didn’t mind. She was grateful for the movement. She needed the time to shift her mind off of herself and onto Levi. Her part was done. Now he would be forced to go through the same pain… Aubrey was determined to be there with him for every second.  
She knew that Levi’s experience might even be more difficult than hers. Instead of just one room to empty, Levi had two.  
Aubrey hadn’t seen Isabel’s room since the day she’d done her orientation. She had no idea what was in store for them.  
She looked to Levi. He was setting down the final box at the foot of their new bed. The sight was both thrilling and horrifying. Putting down the final box from her room meant that her journey was done, that her move was complete. But it also meant that Levi’s was just beginning.  
Aubrey crept closer to him and placed her hands on his back. She slid her fingers down and over his shoulder blades and then twisted him to face her.  
Aubrey looked up at him, seeing that his features were all hard lines. She thought it looked like he’d turned to stone.  
Her hand automatically went to his face and she began to smooth away the tension. Ever so slowly, she saw him start to relax until, eventually, he moved into her, leaning his head on her shoulder.  
Aubrey ran her fingers through his hair. She’d wait as long as she needed to. Levi had done the same for her.  
After a few minutes, Aubrey felt his breathing slow to a steady rate and it wasn’t long until he pulled back. She met his gaze, waiting for him to speak.  
“Let’s go.”  
Aubrey nodded and ran her fingers through his hair one last time.  
“Do you want to start with Isabel’s room or yours?”  
Levi shuddered but kept his voice strong.  
“Isabel’s.”  
Aubrey nodded again and took his hand in hers. She tugged lightly and Levi followed behind her as they left the room.  
Aubrey dragged them to a supply closet before they headed for the barracks again. They’d need more boxes. She rummaged around on the shelves until she found what they needed. Levi took a few and Aubrey carried her share. Hopefully, they would have enough to pack away everything in both rooms.  
Their walk to the dorms was silent. Aubrey kept a close watch on Levi’s features the entire time. His brows were furrowed and there was a small frown on his lips but other than that she saw no signs of turmoil. She hoped it would stay that way.  
It felt strange to go to the front door of the barracks rather than the back. Both of them had taken that path for so long that it was almost instinct. But neither of them would ever be entering through the back door again.  
Aubrey approached first, pushing open the door and making sure everything was clear. They’d have to be careful in the halls. It wouldn’t be a surprise if some girls had already returned from dinner.  
Aubrey saw no one and she reached back for Levi’s hand. He took it without question.  
Aubrey led Levi through the halls and realized that he’d probably never even seen Isabel’s room. She wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.  
They made a few turns but Aubrey knew that Isabel’s room wasn’t very far from the front door. They’d be there any second.  
Finally, the door came into sight and Aubrey slowed their pace until they finally came to a stop. Levi looked at her, a silent question in his eyes. This is it?  
She nodded and felt her throat tighten. This was going to be hard.  
Levi turned back to the door and Aubrey saw him scanning every inch of the wood. Maybe he was trying to memorize something he’d only get to see once.  
Aubrey waited, watching closely for any sign that he needed her. She didn’t have to wait long.  
Levi’s gaze left the door and when twisted to face her, Aubrey could see the horror on his face.  
She dropped her boxes and reached for him instantly. She knocked Levi’s own boxes from his hands and her arms slid around his neck. Aubrey brought him close, placing light kisses all over his cheek. She could feel the tension in his muscles and felt a punch in her own gut. She knew exactly how he was feeling.  
Her mind searched for a way to help him, to soothe him and she suddenly remembered what Levi had said to her. Perhaps those words would work for him as well.  
“You can do it, Levi. I know it hurts, but you can do it.”  
Aubrey felt him shake in her arms. She could only think to repeat the same encouragement.  
“You can do it.”  
She placed another kiss on his cheek.  
“You can do it.”  
Levi pulled away from her. He was still trembling but his expression was slightly less horrified and slightly more determined. Aubrey saw him turn his attention to the doorknob.  
His hand reached out and the second he touched the metal he halted. His eyes flew back to Aubrey and she ran her fingers through his hair for the thousandth time.  
She found his gaze again and nodded.  
Levi swallowed and after just a second's more hesitation he turned the knob and pushed the door open.  
Aubrey watched as he scanned the room from the doorway. His eyes were wide and she almost expected him to call for her again.  
But, to her surprise, Levi turned back around, gathering their fallen boxes. Aubrey was stunned and he had nearly all of them in his hands before she managed to help.  
When she stood, Aubrey saw Levi waiting for her. She nodded at him one last time.  
“You can do it.”  
Levi took a deep breath and with one quick movement he pivoted and walked into the room.  
Aubrey followed him in, dropped the boxes, and shut the door. She practically ran to his side, not wanting to leave him alone for even a second.  
Her eyes landed on his face and she could see that he was lost in thought. It wasn’t that lost look that he sometimes took on but it was still intense.  
She took the boxes from his hands and set them down but Levi hardly seemed to notice. His expression didn’t change.  
Aubrey brushed her fingers across his cheekbone but he still didn’t respond.  
“Levi.” Aubrey exhaled in relief when he blinked and looked down at her. She pulled his forehead to hers. “What first?”  
Aubrey felt him shudder but he still managed to speak.  
“The closet.”  
Aubrey nodded and started to lean down for a box. She didn’t get very far.  
Levi grabbed her jaw and pressed her lips to his. He was desperate, overwhelmed. When he’d walked into the room, he’d barely been able to breathe. The space seemed to scream Isabel’s name and he’d almost expected her to just appear before him. But… he knew she wouldn’t. Not now and… not ever again.  
He kissed Aubrey harder and felt her hands press into his chest. He still had her. That’s what he would focus on. It was the only way he’d get through this.  
Levi pulled away, pressing his forehead to hers.  
“Stay close.”  
Aubrey responded by kissing him again. She’d stay by him every second.  
As soon as they broke apart, Levi found her hand. He laced their fingers and then, after one last breath, raised his head and walked toward the closet.  
Aubrey grabbed a box and followed eagerly.  
As they walked, she realized she had yet to actually look at the room. She’d been too distracted by Levi’s discomfort.  
Her eyes scanned the surfaces.  
The space was a bit messier than Levi and Furlan’s room but still neat. The bed hadn’t been made and there were a few bits of trash that hadn’t made it into the can. Other than that, it looked exactly as she’d thought it would. It was eerily… lived in.  
Aubrey came back to the present when Levi halted in front of her. They’d arrived at the closet.  
She watched as Levi slowly inched open the door and revealed the items inside.  
A quick look revealed that the closet was fairly empty. There was an extra pair of boots, a set of straps, and an entire set of military-issued winter clothing that looked like it had never been touched.  
Aubrey nearly sighed. She was glad they’d started with the closet. It would probably be the easiest of the things they had to go through.  
Aubrey set the box down on the ground and reached for the pair of boots. She held them up and turned to Levi.  
“Keep or leave?”  
Levi’s eyes went cold and Aubrey almost reached for him again, but he spoke before she could move.  
“Leave.”  
Aubrey set the boots to the side. She’d throw them out when they were finished.  
She reached for the straps.  
“Keep or leave?”  
Levi’s eyes went even darker and this time he didn’t respond. Aubrey didn’t hesitate. She moved into him, wrapping an arm around his waist and placing a hand on his cheek.  
“Keep or leave?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
Levi’s eyes lightened the tiniest bit and Aubrey felt his hand go to her waist. He looked back at the straps.  
“Leave.”  
Aubrey set them to the side. She studied him for a moment, planted another kiss on his cheek, and then moved on to the next item.  
The process repeated over and over again until Levi had emptied the closet and eventually the dresser.  
Aubrey was almost grateful that Isabel hadn’t really had enough time to acquire many personal items. It would only have made things harder.  
The desk was practically empty apart from a few unopened ration bars, some quills, and a notebook with a few scribblings and drawings in it. Only the notebook sparked any intense reaction from Levi. He’d started to tremble at the sight of the sketches but Aubrey held him through it and eventually he calmed enough to help her strip the bed.  
And, just like that, they were done.  
Aubrey made her way back to Levi’s arms and kissed him gently. She was a bit surprised that his reactions hadn’t been more extreme but she had a feeling he was trying to hold it in until he’d finished with everything. After all, they still had a whole other room to go.  
She broke away and let her hands drag down Levi’s neck until she reached his chest.  
His expression was stony but Aubrey could see the fear growing in his eyes with every second. It was time to leave.  
“Tell me when you’re ready.”  
Levi nodded and took her in his arms, pressing his head into her neck. He wasn’t ready. Not quite yet.  
They stood there for what Aubrey knew was a long time. She rocked them back and forth, swaying on their feet. Levi held onto her with an almost crushing grip but she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. She needed to be close to him just as much as he needed to be close to her.  
Finally, Aubrey felt Levi’s arms start to loosen and she stilled their rocking. Levi moved back just enough to look her in the eyes.  
“I’m ready.”  
Aubrey placed a final kiss on his lips and walked to the boxes in the middle of the room. She picked one up and carried it out and into the hallway, leaving the door open as she returned for another. Levi joined her and soon they were down to the last box.  
Levi picked it up gently, holding it like it was made of glass. Aubrey moved behind him and pressed her lips to his neck as her fingers trailed down his spine. She remembered how hard this part was.  
Aubrey stayed put, continuing to comfort him in any way she could. She didn’t know if it was helping but a few minutes later Levi reached back and found her hand. She knew what he meant. He was ready.  
Aubrey circled around to face him one last time and then she pulled him toward the door. Levi went with her willingly.  
She turned to face him when she stepped into the hall and watched him take a deep breath as he passed through the doorway. He turned, his hand finding the knob and, after a last glance, he shut the door.  
Aubrey saw a shudder go up his spine and she placed her hand on his back. Then, with no warning, Levi gathered the boxes in his hands. Aubrey didn’t hesitate to do the same. It was obvious that Levi wanted to go. He wanted to finish this.  
The two of them managed to carry everything in one trip. Isabel hadn’t had much to begin with and Levi had decided to keep even less.  
Aubrey led them back through the halls and out the front door. They got lucky again and didn’t run into anyone returning from dinner. Aubrey figured there must be someone watching over them.  
As soon as they were out of the barracks, Aubrey led them to the side of the building and set down her boxes. Levi did the same, though he wasn’t exactly sure what they were doing.  
Before he could even stand, Levi felt Aubrey’s hand on his chin. She raised his eyes to hers and stared at him with a burning intensity.  
“Do you want to take these back or… do you want to go right away?”  
Levi paused. He didn’t want to do the same thing all over again. But… waiting would only make things worse. He needed to get it over with. He needed it done.  
Levi took a deep breath and felt his lungs shake. He hoped he’d be able to speak.  
“Let’s do it. Right now.” His voice was barely audible.  
But Aubrey had heard him.  
She pulled him in for another kiss and then turned to the boxes. She didn’t want to leave them out in the open while people were returning from the Mess Hall. She didn’t think anyone would even bother to notice them but she just couldn’t risk anything getting taken. Every single item was precious. They’d have to take the boxes with them.  
Aubrey leaned down, picking up as many as she could. They still had had enough empty ones to get through Levi’s room.  
Levi helped and soon they were ready to go again.  
Aubrey was a bit panicked by the idea that the boxes prevented her from holding his hand but she didn’t really have a choice. As soon as they got there she’d make sure to never leave his side.  
After one last look, Levi led them away and headed for the men’s barracks.  
It took almost no time at all to arrive and without even a glimmer of hesitation, Levi walked through the front door. He couldn’t care less if they got caught. It just didn’t seem to matter anymore.  
Aubrey followed closely behind him. Her eyes scanned the area. It was clear. She didn’t know if she’d ever had such good luck in her life.  
Levi twisted through the halls until Aubrey recognized that they were getting close. Her own breaths started to come faster. She was nervous for what was to come.  
Finally, a familiar door came into view and Levi came to a stop. Aubrey hurried to set her boxes down and heard them thump on the floor. Her hands found Levi’s arms and she lifted his own boxes out of his grip. He didn’t resist.  
Aubrey moved in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close.  
“Levi…”  
Aubrey could feel his breaths on her skin. They were harsh, fast, worried.  
“I love you.”  
There was barely even a second before Levi’s lips crashed into hers. It was exactly what he’d needed to hear.  
He kissed her for a moment and then, with a surge of willpower, he reached for the door and pushed it open.  
The shock wasn’t as bad this time. He’d already seen this room and he was grateful that he’d decided to face it earlier that morning. Otherwise it might have been too much.  
The sight of Furlan’s things was still devastating but at least he’d known what to expect.  
Levi heard Aubrey shut the door behind them and turned to see that she’d already gotten all of the boxes inside.  
The instant his eyes met hers, she was with him, her hands smoothing over every tensed muscle in his body. Levi sighed and leaned into her, pressing his lips to her hair. He would need her.  
But, as much as her touch soothed him, Levi didn’t allow himself to linger. He needed to force himself to start. If he didn’t, he knew he’d stay in Aubrey’s arms forever.  
Reluctantly, Levi backed away, keeping her hand in his as their only point of contact. He quickly grabbed an empty box and then headed for his dresser. He’d start with his own things. He wasn’t quite ready to face Furlan’s half yet.  
Levi yanked open the top drawer and dug through its contents. Everything was already organized so it was easy to go quickly. He gathered the first stack of shirts in his hands and dropped it into the box. Aubrey joined him, and they had the entire dresser done in just a few minutes.  
Aubrey closed up the boxes they’d finished and then raised her fingers to Levi’s face, tracing his cheekbones.  
“What next?”  
Levi released a breath at her touch.  
“The desk.”  
Aubrey nodded and they moved across the room.  
Levi started to go through it and Aubrey stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing down his spine.  
Levi shuddered but kept going. He didn’t want to stop for fear that he wouldn’t be able to start again.  
His hands went through the drawers. He didn’t have much, only some paper he’d never had a need for a couple of quills. In fact there was only one thing in the desk that he actually cared about.  
Levi came to the bottom drawer and carefully slid it open to reveal what he was looking for.  
Aubrey recognized it immediately. Wind in the Hills. It was his mother’s book.  
Levi picked it up gently and just held it for a moment. His thoughts went back to the day he’d grabbed it from his mother’s bedside table as Kenny had taken him away. It was the only thing he’d been able to reach. It had been with him through everything. His time with Kenny, his life with Isabel and Furlan, and now his future with Aubrey. He remembered the day when she’d managed to steal it from him at the pond. Things had been so… new. Now, it was hard for him to imagine a time when he didn’t have her, when he’d somehow convinced himself that staying away was the better option.  
Aubrey’s lips on his neck brought him back and Levi rose from his crouch on the floor. He twisted to face her and immediately drew her into his arms. His mouth found hers and he kissed her deeply. Just thinking about a time when he’d forced himself away was enough to make him need her close.  
When they broke apart, Levi leaned back to look at her face. His eyes traveled over every feature, taking in every detail. He couldn’t fathom how someone so perfect had managed to fall for him.  
“Levi?”  
His eyes continued to memorize every inch of her skin.  
“Hm?”  
“Can I ask you a question?”  
He nodded, not pausing his task.  
“What was your mother’s name?”  
That caught his attention. He met her stare and paused. For a second he was too caught off guard to speak but, eventually, he found his voice.  
“Kuchel.”  
Aubrey smiled. Somehow the name was so… fitting.  
She leaned in, placing a quick kiss on Levi’s mouth.  
“Thank you.”  
Levi dipped his head into her neck and ran his lips over her skin. She was the only person still alive that he’d ever told about his mother. Now, it was a piece of him that belonged only to her.  
Eventually, he realized he’d been standing there too long, his mouth grazing her neck for a nonsensical amount of time.  
He sighed and backed away. Aubrey still had a smile on her lips and the sight managed to lift his own spirits a bit, even as he returned to the task at hand.  
Without saying a word, he pulled Aubrey to his bed and started stripping the sheets. When she recognized what he was doing, she moved to help him and the bed was done in seconds.  
Levi looked around the space. Unlike Aubrey’s room, he and Furlan had only had one closet to share. He thought about asking her why but decided it didn’t matter anymore. After they were done here, he’d have a bigger closet than he’d ever had in his entire life.  
But there was one last thing he had to do before he approached the closet at all.  
“Stay here.”  
Levi released Aubrey’s hand from his own and walked across the room.  
Aubrey furrowed her brows at his request but she did as he said. She was sure she had a reason. She was right.  
Aubrey watched as Levi kneeled in the corner of the room, his fingers pressing into the floor in a methodical manner. Her mind swirled. What was he doing?  
Finally, Levi must have found what he was looking for because a look of familiarity took over his expression. His hand moved another inch and Aubrey watched as he tore a floorboard from its place.  
Her eyes widened. Now she knew why he’d told her to stay. He was literally ripping up the floor.  
Instinctively, she walked to him, completely forgetting about his order. She didn’t care anymore. She needed to see what exactly he was doing.  
Levi noticed her coming closer and he arched an eyebrow.  
“I thought I told you to stay?”  
Aubrey ignored him.  
“Why are you tearing up the floorboards?”  
Levi sighed. No point in stopping her now.  
He reached down into the floor and pushed his hand around until he found what he was looking for.  
Aubrey leaned in closer when she saw him pull out an envelope that was practically bursting open. Whatever was in it was obviously too big for its container.  
“What is it?”  
Levi set the envelope to the side and replaced the floorboard. Aubrey waited eagerly. Her curiosity was growing with every passing second.  
Finally, Levi stood, bringing the envelope up with him.  
Aubrey peeked at it again. Her interest was obvious.  
Levi let out a long exhale and then, after one last pause, he tore the thing open.  
Aubrey thought her eyes would pop out of her head.  
Inside of the envelope was a stack of money larger than she’d ever seen. And they weren’t small bills.  
“Levi… where did you get this?” Aubrey couldn’t stop staring at the mountain of cash.  
“I told you we’d been saving up, remember?”  
Aubrey forced her eyes to meet his as she remembered what he’d once told her. This must be the money they’d collected for their lives on the surface.  
Aubrey scanned Levi’s expression. It was dim but she didn’t see any signs of his distant look returning. He was still in the moment.  
She cupped his cheek with her hand and he leaned into it, thankful for the touch.  
She didn’t know what to say. The money was obviously a reminder of his past and now… it had no purpose. Levi didn’t strike her as a big spender.  
“It’s ours now.”  
Aubrey felt her mouth pop open. All she could do was stare at him.  
“I’ll buy you a necklace or something.”  
Aubrey found her voice.  
“Oh, no, Levi. I can’t let you-”  
“Stop.”  
Aubrey closed her mouth. There was that authoritative tone again. She had a sudden feeling he’d make a good captain one day.  
Levi’s sternness melted away from his features just as soon as it had come on. He wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her closer until their foreheads touched.  
He took a deep breath.  
“Please, Aubrey. It’s what they would have wanted.”  
Aubrey nearly choked on her own air. How could she say no now?  
After a few seconds, she gave in and nodded.  
Levi sighed, glad that she hadn’t dragged out their disagreement. He would have found a way to spend it on her even if she’d persisted. They had a new life to start and a little bit of money wouldn’t hurt.  
He kissed between her brows, then down the bridge of her nose, and then finally he landed on her lips.  
Aubrey kissed him hard. She was overloaded by his ability to make her feel in ways she’d never felt before she met him. Her body was on fire and she couldn’t think of anything except how much she loved him.  
When she needed air, she pushed her face into his chest, her fingers grasping at the fabric of his shirt. She knew she’d never find someone that she wanted, needed, more than him.  
Levi put his lips all over the crown of her head. But it wasn’t long until his eyes caught on a closet that he’d yet to face. They still had a lot more to do before they were finished.  
Levi ran his hand up and down Aubrey’s back as he spoke.  
“We have to finish this, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey shuddered, took a deep breath, and nodded. He was right. It was time to end it.  
She moved away from him, only holding on to his hand.  
“Where to?”  
Levi’s brows furrowed.  
“The closet.”  
Aubrey squeezed his hand and after just one more pause, Levi pulled them to the closet door and threw it open.  
He froze immediately but Aubrey had been ready. Her hands slid down his back and then she moved in front of him. She kissed him lightly and then took the nearest item of clothing off the rack.  
“Keep or leave?” She was going to do the same thing they’d done in Isabel’s room. She wasn’t sure it was the best way to help him, but it worked.  
Levi relaxed the tiniest bit and his mind woke up just enough to make a decision.  
“Keep.”  
Aubrey folded the shirt and placed it in the box before picking up another and repeating the process all over again.  
They made their way through the closet with as little difficulty as could be expected. Levi had gone blank at the sight of one particular shirt but Aubrey had gotten him back fairly quickly.  
After they were done there, they’d moved to Furlan’s dresser and emptied it in a similar fashion. Levi had handed her whatever he wanted to keep and the rest of it was set aside.  
The bed was without its sheets less than a minute after they’d finished the dresser.  
That just left the desk.  
Aubrey tensed when they approached it. It was all they had left. When the desk was done… all of this would be over.  
Levi halted and just stared for a moment. Aubrey didn’t think he was suffering, just preparing himself. Nonetheless, she put her hands on him. She knew that the last part was the hardest. It was the time when you really had to let go.  
They stood there for a few beats and then, suddenly, Levi grabbed her arm and pulled her in front of him. When Aubrey looked up at him, she could see the determination, but also the need in his eyes. He moved her arm around his back and Aubrey understood.  
She hugged him tightly and Levi sighed. Now he could begin.  
Slowly, his hand reached out and his fingers closed around the handle of the top drawer. He took a deep breath, felt Aubrey hold him a little tighter, and then pulled the drawer open.  
It looked a lot like his own drawer had. It was neat and there wasn’t really a lot to go through. When Levi began to shuffle through it, he found exactly what they’d found in every other desk. Paper, quills, ink, an unopened ration bar. It was all very… ordinary.  
Levi was thankful for that. He was hoping he’d get through this desk without any surprises.  
He moved on to the next drawer. It was more of the same.  
Finally, he came to the last drawer and he felt a surge of fear in his gut. The last drawer always seemed to hold the secrets.  
Just when he needed it, Levi felt Aubrey’s lips on his neck and her hands smoothing over the muscles of his back. He turned his head and placed a kiss on her hairline. They were almost there.  
With a renewed sense of strength, Levi tore open the final drawer.  
At first, he was confused. It was another stack of clothes. Why was he keeping clothes in his desk?  
But when Levi looked closer, he could tell that this clothing was different. It wasn’t military issued… it was his clothing from the Underground.  
Levi had thrown his out the minute they’d gotten to the Surface. Their capture had left him filthy and he hadn’t even considered keeping them. He hadn’t found any old clothes in Isabel’s room so he assumed she’d done the same. But, apparently, Furlan had kept his.  
Maybe it was because the clothing was the only thing they had left of their time together in the Underground. They’d been dragged away by Erwin without ever being able to gather any of their belongings. And, as much as Levi loathed the Underground City, it had been his home for most of his life and it was where he’d met both Isabel and Furlan. That city would always be a part of him.  
Levi reached for the clothes and realized that his hands were shaking. Aubrey must have noticed, too, because she ran her fingers through his hair and kissed along his collarbone.  
Levi took a breath as he finally gripped the fabric. His whole body was humming but he was too distracted to determine what emotions he was feeling. All he could do was stare at the clothing in his hands.  
Aubrey held on to him. She didn’t know what the clothes stood for but they obviously meant something. She’d give him as long as he needed.  
She busied herself with putting her lips on whatever skin she could find.  
What could have been seconds, minutes, or hours passed but Aubrey just kept going. She wasn’t going to stop until he told her to.  
But, eventually, she felt Levi begin to shake even harder and suddenly his breaths were erratic and harsh. She moved back immediately to look at his face.  
He was crying.  
Aubrey panicked but she wasn’t necessarily surprised. In fact, beneath her layer of panic was a layer of relief. When he hadn’t cried in Isabel’s room she was worried that he would just hold everything in. But now he was going to let it out and she was going to stay with him through it all.  
Aubrey put a hand on his chest and gently pushed him into the desk chair. She crawled into his lap as soon as he was seated and pressed her head into the crook of his neck. She continued kissing him, pausing every so often to wipe away his tears and then returning to placing her lips on his skin.  
At first, Levi could only sit there, allowing her to comfort him. But after a few minutes, the pain set in even further and he ended up clutching her to his chest.  
His silent tears turned to sobs and he pressed his face into her shoulder as she rocked him back and forth.  
Every time he thought his pain was lessening, the past would come back into his mind and another round of sobs would begin. He’d lost them. He’d lost his family and there was nothing he could do to get it back. Now they were just pieces of his memory, pieces of his heart that would never be known by anyone else. He’d lost his family and he would never see them again.  
Levi felt like he was being ripped in two. The pain was so intense that he almost couldn’t take it.  
But even when he thought he was about to shatter, about to fracture into pieces… he didn’t. Aubrey held him tighter through every cry and her lips never left him. She pulled him back together, gathering the pieces and forcing them back into place.  
She just kept comforting him, never letting him break. And, eventually, it worked.  
Levi’s pain began to numb just the tiniest bit with every brush of her mouth or graze of her hands and soon his cries quieted and only silence was left.  
Levi was completely limp in her arms but Aubrey didn’t mind. She was just happy that he’d gotten through it. Every sob had hit her like a punch to the gut and it had taken all of her strength to not start sobbing herself. It had been excruciating.  
The two of them sat there, not caring how much time passed. It wasn’t important.  
Even after his sobs had ceased, Aubrey had never let her lips leave him. She was afraid to stop, afraid that letting go in any way would bring his pain back. But when his own mouth found her neck, Aubrey knew that he’d made it, that he was back. They were going to be alright.  
Levi kissed all over her body, not even hesitating to go all the way down her arm and back up again. He practically worshiped her. He knew he’d never find someone more perfect.  
Aubrey sighed at his touch and when his lips found hers, she leaned into him and dragged her fingers through his hair. She was so relieved by his return that she felt as if she could ride the wave of calm for the rest of her life.  
Eventually, though, Aubrey had to break away and her eyes traveled to the stack of clothing that had fallen between them.  
She still didn’t know what the meaning was but she wasn’t about to ask. She wasn’t going to risk bringing back any of Levi’s pain.  
“They’re Furlan’s clothes from the Underground. It’s... all I have left of that time.”  
Aubrey stared up at him, wide eyed. His voice was rough and hoarse but she was surprised he’d been able to speak at all.  
Levi looked back at her, his expression exhausted. He’d barely been able to speak but he thought she deserved to know, especially since she’d just pieced him back together.  
Aubrey didn’t know what to say. It was hard for her to believe that that stack of clothing was all Levi had left of his former life. It seemed so… cruel.  
She met his gaze again and slowly brought her lips back to his. Aubrey was surprised when his hand tangled in her hair and he pulled her even closer. He’d made the kiss far more intense than she’d thought it would be.  
Levi used her lips as a way to ground himself. He tried to lose himself in her rather than lose himself in his thoughts. It worked.  
With every second he could feel his mind shifting. The pain faded to the nervousness and hope he had for the future. As long as she stayed by his side, he could get through anything.  
Eventually, Levi had to let go when he heard Aubrey gasping for air. He felt a bit guilty. He’d been so lost in her that he’d failed to notice her struggle.  
Aubrey pressed her forehead to his and felt the shift in the air. His sadness had eased and now… it was time to go.  
Aubrey took a deep breath. Walking out that door would be agonizing… but she knew he could do it.  
She grabbed the clothes from between them and then moved out of Levi’s lap. He reached after her but she just caught his hand and placed a kiss on his knuckles. She’d be right back.  
She placed the clothes in a box and closed it. It was the last thing they’d need to pack away.  
Aubrey went back to Levi but stood behind him and hung her arms over his shoulders.  
“Let me know when you’re ready.”  
Levi sighed. He wasn’t prepared… but he was ready.  
“I’m ready. Let’s go.”  
Aubrey nodded and kissed his head before stepping back.  
She watched him stand and heard him let out a long breath. His expression was...resigned. He was still in pain but instead of letting it consume him he’d simply… accepted it.  
Aubrey leaned down, picked up a box, and walked out the door to set it in the hall. She went back for another and another and saw Levi join her on her third trip.  
Finally, they had everything out of the room and Aubrey looked to see Levi repeating his routine last glance. She could imagine the pain he was feeling. This room was the home he’d shared with his best friend, even if it was just a dorm room. It didn’t matter. It still held memories.  
When Levi turned to her, she saw the decision in his eyes and she held her hand out to him from her spot in the hall.  
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then with one movement, he crossed the floor, left the room, and put the past behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This MIGHT be the longest chapter I’ve ever written lol. I hop it wasn’t too repetitive. I know we just cleaned out (Y/N)’s room last chapter and we had TWO more rooms to clean out this chapter and then we STILL have to clean out their old room in the castle next chapter. But I think I can keep that last one pretty short. Not much trauma to work through in there lol.  
> BUT, after that there MAY be a smut chapter. I haven’t decided yet. I keep feeling like I’m loading this story up with smut but then I realized the last one was like 6 chapters ago which comes out to like 20,000 words sooooo… I don’t know. Let me know if you think I’m overloading it.  
> And, I don’t wanna say that Book 2 is getting close because this story somehow keeps getting longer and longer even when I think it’s coming to a close but… I think Book 2 is getting close.  
> I know I beg for comments every time but, like, this time I am REALLY begging for comments. School already has me feeling blah and I NEED the instant serotonin. Like, for real. Also, this chapter took a long time and I am ready for that validation lol. Y’all are seriously the best. I don’t know how you even read these author’s notes anymore because they are essentially just me repeatedly asking for comments lol.  
> AND let me know about the smut thing… for real. I need to know if it’s too much.


	47. Chapter 47

WARNING: Smutttttttt.

Aubrey had forced Levi to leave ahead of her with the first load of boxes. He’d resisted, asking her why but had eventually given up. She wasn’t going to give in.  
As soon as he’d gone around the corner, Aubrey had opened the door to his room and pushed in any boxes she couldn’t carry. She was still worried about leaving them unattended while they took their first trip. When they returned for their second load, she’d just run ahead of him and take them out. She was starting to get the feeling that he didn’t like when she hid things like this from him but she figured she could get away with it one last time. She didn’t want him to have to open that door again after it had taken him so much effort to close it.  
Levi had been waiting for her outside the barracks and they’d made their trip back to the castle in silence.  
As soon as they’d set the boxes down in their new room, they’d headed back for the second round.  
Aubrey’s plan had gone off without a hitch and she’d only received a strange look from Levi when she ran ahead of him.  
Their second trip had been just as silent as their first but it was a calm silence. Both of them were reflecting… but not in a bad way. They’d come so far, were so ready to start again. Their final walk to the castle seemed… surreal.  
Finally, they reached their new room again and Aubrey heard the familiar thump of boxes as they were set down all over. She could already tell that living with Levi would mean making some serious changes to her habit. His boxes were stacked neatly against the wall while hers were scattered randomly. That was alright, though. She’d get used to it. If being neat and clean was all she had to do to live with him, she’d do it happily.  
When Levi set down his final box, he turned to her and Aubrey couldn’t help the small smile that came to her lips. They’d done it. The worst was over.  
Levi walked to her and Aubrey reached her arms out. When he embraced her, she hugged him tightly. She was so in love with him that it almost hurt.  
She kissed across his cheek and rested her chin in the curve of his neck. The worst might have been over but they still had one last thing to do.  
She sighed.  
“I’m sorry to say that we have one more room to clean out.”  
Levi groaned. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Their old room in the castle still needed to be gone through. He couldn’t think of much in the room that he wanted to keep but it still needed to be straightened before they left it alone.  
Aubrey chuckled at his groan.  
“I don’t want to, either, but I think we should just get it over with.”  
Levi held her tighter.  
“Tch. Can’t it wait?”  
Aubrey ran her fingers through his hair.  
“It could, but… once we get that room done… it’s over, Levi. It’ll be done. All of it.”  
Levi sighed. She was right. They shouldn’t put it off.  
Slowly, he moved away from her, placing a light kiss on her lips and he passed.  
Aubrey smiled again. At least this room would go more quickly than the others.  
Levi took her hand and soon they were back in the halls, traveling to the other side of the castle. Aubrey didn’t bother to bring another box. Everything of value would fit in the satchel.  
When they finally arrived, Levi didn’t hesitate to practically bust the door down. He wanted all of this done and over with.  
He immediately pulled Aubrey to the bed and began stripping the sheets.  
She was a bit caught off guard by his intensity but she didn’t say anything. The sooner they were done, the better.  
Aubrey helped him with the bed and it was bare in just a few minutes. Levi tossed the sheets into the corner with the rest of the laundry they’d managed to make over the last couple of days.  
As soon as that was done, he moved to pick up their discarded 3DMG and set it on the desk. He’d come back for it when they were ready to leave.  
Aubrey was already gathering any bits of scattered clothing or other items that had somehow been left on the floor. She only found a few socks and a pillow that had managed to slip under the bed.  
Levi watched her as she finished up and moved into the bathroom to get a head start. That was where most of their things were, anyway.  
He walked in and found the satchel in the corner. He went through its contents, throwing out the old food but leaving everything else. All of it was very unexciting.  
He moved to the bathtub and gathered the soap, towels, and washcloths that they’d used. All of it fit into the bag easily.  
He glanced around, seeing that everything had already been picked up and put away. The place looked clean.  
His eyes landed on the sink and then slid down to the cabinet beneath it. He didn’t think there would be anything in it, but better safe than sorry.  
His fingers found the handle and he crouched down to pull it open.  
Aubrey walked in at just the right, or maybe wrong, moment. She saw Levi’s eyes widen and the muscles in his jaw clench as he stared at the bloody uniform she’d hidden away so long ago.  
She’d completely forgotten about it.  
Within a second, her hands were reaching into the cabinet, frantically trying to get the clothes out of sight.  
But just as she came into contact with the fabric, Aubrey felt Levi’s hand clamp around her wrist.  
She turned to him, panicking. She needed to get the uniform out of there.  
“Stop, Aubrey. Let me do it.”  
Aubrey shook her head, her anxiety growing.  
“No, Levi, you don’t have to. Let me handle th-”  
“Stop, Aubrey.”  
Her jaw clicked shut. Damn that tone of voice.  
Levi took a deep breath and turned his eyes back to the uniform.  
“I know I don’t have to… but I need to.”  
Aubrey scanned his features. All of the shock and horror from just a moment ago had been replaced by a hard look of determination. He was going to do it on his own whether she liked it or not.  
Aubrey gave in. If he was so intent on facing this obstacle on his own then she wasn’t going to risk further upsetting him with an argument.  
She sank to the floor, sitting beside him and placing one light touch on his cheekbone.  
Levi got the message. She was going to let him go on. She wouldn’t try to stop him.  
He shot her a soothing glance and then, after a slight pause, he reached for the uniform. He gripped it tightly and pulled it out piece by piece. The clothing was ripped, disgusting… and covered in the blood of his friends. It was exactly how he remembered it.  
The waves of pain were intense but he refused to let them take over. He searched for Aubrey’s hand and she was with him instantly. She laced their fingers and kneeled next to him, pressing her forehead into his shoulder.  
It was enough to give him the strength to stand.  
Aubrey kept her hands on him as they rose. She was afraid to let go.  
Levi stared down at the clothing in his hands. The sight of the dried blood sent a shiver down his spine. He’d never know exactly whose it was… and he didn’t want to.  
He turned, walked into the main room, and threw the uniform into the trash. It was just one more thing to leave instead of keep.  
Levi looked back to see Aubrey watching him from the doorway of the bathroom. He’d moved too fast for her to follow.  
Her expression was somber, perhaps even a bit apologetic. His brows furrowed. What was she sorry for?  
“Levi…” Her voice was soft and low. “There’s more.”  
Levi watched as Aubrey leaned down again and then returned to look at him. Her hand shifted and suddenly he saw a necklace dangling from her fingers. It was Isabel’s necklace… and it was caked in blood.  
Levi froze for a second. He’d almost forgotten about the necklace entirely.  
The jewelry was covered in brown, dried, blood and the thought of… whose blood it was…  
A surge of pain hit him in the chest. He felt the urge to drift away, to let his mind wander back to the past again, but he refused to let that happen. He still had an obstacle to face.  
Levi shook his head and walked to Aubrey, holding out his hand.  
She looked up at him. There was worry, fear, concern, in her eyes and Levi knew she needed a bit more reassurance.  
He held her jaw and pulled her in for a gentle kiss before returning his attention to the necklace. He hoped she could tell that he was ready, that he wanted to do this.  
She must have understood because she sighed and dropped the jewelry into his palm. Levi closed his fingers around the necklace and grabbed her hand. He might be facing this himself but he still needed her.  
Levi led them back into the bathroom and paused at the sink. He paused, taking one last look at the jewels in their bloodied state and then turned on the water.  
He watched the necklace reappear as the blood washed away in brown streaks to reveal the gold. This time, he couldn’t help drifting to the past a bit. All he could think of was how happy Isabel had been when he’d given it to her. The day after, she’d practically been jumping on him all day and he’d had to tell her to knock it off. Now… he wished that maybe he hadn’t.  
“Levi.”  
He blinked and suddenly felt Aubrey’s fingers combing through his hair. She must have recognized that he was lost.  
His eyes returned to the necklace only to see that it was completely clean. All traces of blood and dirt had been carried away by the water and now… it was just the necklace he remembered.  
Levi saw Aubrey’s hand reach over to turn off the water and then she placed her fingers on his jaw. She turned him away from the sink and forced him to face her.  
“That’s everything, Levi. It’s over now. For real.”  
Aubrey raised both hands to his cheeks and pulled him closer until their foreheads touched.  
“It’s over. It’s over.”  
Levi couldn’t take it anymore.  
He ran a hand into her hair, locking it against her scalp, and then dragged her lips to his.  
Aubrey’s arms wrapped around his neck as she kissed him back. She almost felt like crying. It was so strange, so unreal that they were finally going to be able to move on. She’d fought against the urge to be with him for so long and now… she could.  
Aubrey broke away. As much as she wanted to keep her lips locked with his, she also wanted to get out of this room, to leave it all behind.  
“Let’s go home, Levi.”  
Levi nearly choked at her words. Home. They had a home now. Together.  
He kissed her again but didn’t let it last long. He wanted to go, too.  
When they broke away, Aubrey grabbed the satchel and threw it over her shoulder. Levi watched curiously as she reached into the cabinet one last time and pulled out Tika’s rock. Aubrey just shoved it into her pocket without saying a word.  
She didn’t seem bothered at all so, after glancing at her features one last time, Levi moved on. He went to the main room and picked up their sets of 3DMG. Aubrey could carry the bag, he would carry these.  
Finally, he turned and saw that Aubrey was gathering their pile of dirty sheets in her arms. She tucked the bundle of cloth under her arm and then looked to him.  
“Let’s go.”  
Levi nodded and walked to the door. He stopped, waiting for her to join him. He saw her eyes glide over the space one last time. Then, she met his gaze, and just a second later, they were gone.  
Aubrey made a stop at the laundry room to drop off the sheets. She’d come back and wash them later. For now, she wanted to get back to their room as soon as possible.  
Finally, they arrived at their door and Aubrey threw it open. As soon as Levi was in, it slammed closed again and Aubrey heard the clatter of the 3DMG on the floor as she dropped her own bag.  
Levi’s hands were on her hips in second and he twisted her around to face him. His lips crashed into her immediately.  
Aubrey returned his intensity. They’d done it. They’d really, truly, done it. This was their home now, a place where they could be together and heal. And she wanted to start right now.  
Aubrey put her hand on his chest and pushed until they backed into the bed.  
Levi didn’t hesitate to lie back, pulling her down on top of him. They scrambled further onto the mattress and Aubrey realized that there weren’t even any sheets. Oh well.  
She crawled onto him, her legs going on either side of his torso as her lips met his again and again.  
This time felt different. It was so gentle, so tender. She knew there would be no teasing, no drawn out torture. Both of them just wanted to hold each other.  
Levi wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her closer as she ran her hands down his chest.  
Aubrey found the seam of his shirt and tugged. Levi got the message and he sat up just enough for her to pull it over his head. She pushed him back into the mattress as soon as the shirt hit the floor.  
Her mouth left his lips and she instead turned her attention to his newly exposed skin. She followed her old pattern of kissing over his scars but when she ran out of lines to trace she just let her mouth wander.  
Levi sighed as he stared at the ceiling. Her lips were intoxicating and the feeling of her hands roaming over his chest was overwhelming. Every touch sent flames through his entire body and yet he still felt… calm. Somehow she always managed to make him feel both at the same time.  
Levi let his body go limp as he enjoyed the attention Aubrey was giving him. He wasn’t in a rush, neither of them were.  
Aubrey savoured the feeling of his body beneath her. She knew she’d never grow tired of it, that she would never not be shocked by how perfect he was.  
Aubrey kept going until she finally felt Levi’s hands slide up her thighs and land on her hips. She lifted her head and saw the hunger in his eyes. He was ready to move on.  
She brought her lips to his for one last kiss and didn’t resist when Levi sat up and seated her in his lap. His mouth found her neck and she tilted her head to give him better access. It was her turn to relax.  
Levi dragged his lips over her skin until he came to the sensitive spot. He nibbled at it and Aubrey squeezed his shoulders as her head lolled even further to the side.  
He stayed there for a minute, relishing in the way her little gasps and moans filled the silence. When he finally pulled away, he saw that he’d left a red mark and had to suppress a smirk. Hopefully her clothes would cover it.  
Levi went back to her lips as he bunched her shirt in his hands. Aubrey lifted her arms and he removed it quickly, only breaking away long enough for the cloth to get out of the way.  
Aubrey leaned in closer and nipped at his lip, gasping when he bit right back and took control of the kiss.  
Levi hummed into her mouth and reached around her back, throwing her bra to the floor the second he got it off.  
He moved on from her lips and brought his head to her chest.  
Aubrey inhaled sharply when he found her breast and her hands automatically flew to his hair, grasping at the strands for some kind of stability.  
Her gasps continued as Levi traveled across her skin, his teeth grazing and causing her to shake as he held her up.  
She could think of nothing but the way he was touching her, the way he managed to make her tremble with just the lightest brush of his lips.  
Soon, Aubrey couldn’t take it anymore and she brought her hand to his chin, lifting his back to her mouth. Levi heeded her request. He was going to give her whatever she wanted tonight. No games, no plans. Whatever she wanted, she would get.  
Levi kissed her deeply, his hand splaying across her cheek as their mouths locked together repeatedly. He felt like he couldn’t stop… so he didn’t.  
Even as he lowered her onto the mattress, he never let their lips part.  
Aubrey felt his hands wander down her sides until he reached her waistband. Levi never stopped kissing her even as he undid the button on her pants. It took him a little longer than usual but Aubrey didn’t mind one bit. Their slow pace was just what she wanted.  
When he finally got the button undone, Aubrey lifted her hips and let him slide the clothing down her thighs.  
Levi groaned when he realized that he’d have to break away to get her pants off. He decided to just do it as quickly as possible. He pulled away, slid her pants the rest of the way down her legs and then he was back on her lips before the clothing had even hit the ground.  
Aubrey kissed him back happily but she was starting to realize that she needed more. She wanted him. Soon.  
Her legs tightened around his knee but after just a few seconds she felt Levi’s hand go down her side. He stopped between her legs and pressed down over her underwear.  
Aubrey gasped and her back arched off the mattress. His lips moved to her neck again and she felt his teeth on the sensitive spot.  
She whined and squirmed beneath him. He always knew exactly how to make her crazy.  
Levi didn’t wait long to give her what she needed. He was going to stay true to his earlier decision. Whatever she wanted, she’d get.  
His fingers slid beneath the fabric of her panties and he slid them down, pulling away again to get them completely off.  
He put his lips on hers one last time, exploring every bit of her mouth before he finally crept back, his hands finding her knees.  
Aubrey let her head fall back and she tried to catch her breath. She didn’t get to.  
Levi’s tongue went between her legs and she wailed. Her back arched, her toes curled, and her hands gripped at the mattress. Aubrey felt his fingers join in after just a few seconds and she yelped again.  
Her hips would have been jerking in every direction were it not for his arm pressing into her and holding her down.  
Aubrey felt him sucking, licking, prodding. It was an unimaginable sensation. She’d thought he couldn’t get any better… but he had.  
She couldn’t stop the squeals, moans, and small cries that escaped her. The feeling was so intense that her entire body was tingling.  
It didn’t take long before Levi had her trembling and he felt her hands in his hair as he pushed her to the limit.  
Aubrey grasped at the strands in her hands. He had her so close and she could tell that the familiar rise in her core was almost to its peak.  
Finally, Levi moved his tongue one last time and Aubrey felt her eyes roll back. She cried out and her body went limp as Levi pulled his mouth away from her.  
She lay there, gasping and panting as she came back down.  
But Levi didn’t give her much time to relax.  
She gasped as she felt him push inside of her. The gasp was less from pain and more from surprise. How had he managed to get his pants off so fast?  
Levi hovered over her and instantly found her lips.  
Aubrey kissed him back but she was still shocked by the suddenness of his advance. She didn’t stay shocked for long.  
Levi started to rock them back and forth and Aubrey wrapped her legs around his back almost automatically. But when she felt his hand going down her side again she knew exactly why he was moving so fast. He was going to push her over the edge again without giving her break. Just like last time.  
Aubrey was squirming before he even touched her. She practically screamed when he did.  
She was still too sensitive and every touch was amplified ten times over.  
She felt the ache that came along whenever he pushed her again so soon. She whimpered.  
“Levi…”  
Levi tucked his head into her neck and whispered in her ear, his voice low and rough as he struggled to contain himself.  
“Let it happen.”  
Aubrey groaned, her back arching even further off the bed. Everything was right on the edge of being too much but she did her best to relax.  
Levi quickened their pace and Aubrey whined again. She sucked in shaky breaths and dug her fingernails into his shoulders. She felt his lips on her skin and then noticed that he was slowly moving down. His teeth hit the sensitive spot again and she squealed, no longer able to hold it in. She started writhing around but Levi just pressed further into her, holding her still.  
He could feel her starting to shake again and knew that she was almost there. He pushed her faster and she whimpered loudly, gripping his shoulders even tighter.  
Levi scraped at her neck one last time and felt her whole body tense beneath him as she screamed his name.  
Levi let himself go and then fell onto the bed beside her. He only paused for a second before he reached over and pulled her onto his chest. He didn’t want to go one second without her skin on his.  
She was panting but he couldn’t help placing a kiss on her lips. He kept it short and then moved to her cheek and then her collarbone. He was still breathless himself, but he had such an urge to be near her that he didn’t care.  
Aubrey sighed even as she struggled for air. His touch was the most comforting thing in the world to her and in that moment she felt so loved that she thought she might fall apart.  
Levi took a bit longer to calm his breathing than he usually did but as soon as he felt he could, he locked their lips again.  
When he pulled away, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even closer, clutching her to his chest. If it were up to him, he’d never let her go.  
“I love you.”  
Aubrey melted, tears coming to her eyes. It was so rare that he said it first.  
She buried herself in his chest and just barely managed to respond.  
“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, honestly, one of the things I’m looking forward to most about writing book 2 is being able to start a new google doc. Like, for real, my internet cannot handle a 650 page fanfic anymore. It does NOT know what’s going on lol. Can’t wait to write without waiting 5 minutes for the words to load. And, yes, I refuse to separate it by chapter. I need it all in one place lol.  
> As for the *spice* in this chapter, I kept it a bit more… um, mellow??? I mean, I don’t know if I would call any smut mellow but, like, there wasn’t anything super crazy in there lol. I just couldn’t picture them having a steamy smut session directly after cleaning out the rooms of their dead friends… yes, I said that. But, I DID think they’d want to be close to each other. So… yeah, lol. I’m thinking there are only going to be one or two more smut chapters in this book before it ends. Y’all are telling me it’s not too much and that I manage to make it fit into the plot well so I’ll stop asking every time I think I should write one and just do it, hah.  
> There’s going to be a little more fluff here (because I’m a sucker for fluff and these two have been through a lot of rough stuff lately and I want them to just be happy for a bit lol) and then I’ll pick up the story and end it. We’re getting there, y’all.  
> Thank you for all of the well wishes with school!!! It means a lot! Anything to get me through that 40 page reading on Ancient Roman Religion lol. AND, UM, CAN I JUST SAY THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE COMMENTS ON THE LAST CHAPTER. THEY LITERALLY MADE MY DAY AND GOT ME OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING. I wake up every day and the first thing I do is check my email for comments lol. If anything, y’all are a good alarm clock. SO KEEP LEAVING THEM. The serotonin is working. THANK YOU.


	48. Chapter 48

Aubrey woke to the feeling of the bed sinking beside her. At first, she registered nothing but the disruption of the movement and she turned her face further into her pillow, trying to fall back asleep.  
But then she felt fingers running through her hair and a hand resting on her hip and she realized that Levi was sitting next to her.  
She turned onto her back, rubbing at her eyes as she forced them to open. When the world finally came into focus, she saw that she’d been right. Levi was leaning over her, a surprisingly content look on his face.  
Aubrey sleepily smiled up at him, her eyes still half-lidded.  
“Morning.”  
She reached her hand up and saw him catch her wrist and press his lips to her palm.  
Her smile grew wider and she started to prop herself up but before she could get too far, Levi’s hands slid under her arms and he pulled her into his lap.  
Her back pressed against his chest and she turned to look at him. She was definitely more awake now that he’d just moved her around like a ragdoll.  
Levi ignored her surprised expression and placed a kiss on the back of her neck. He moved down her spine and when he reached a certain point, he felt her shudder and then heard her sigh.  
He raised an eyebrow even though she couldn’t see. It seemed like he’d found a new spot.  
He was just about to go back for more when Aubrey spoke up.  
“What time is it?”  
It was Levi’s turn to sigh. He was intrigued by the possibilities that came along with exploring the new zone he’d found. Oh well. It would just have to wait.  
He moved his chin into the curve of her neck and spoke softly into her ear.  
“Just past six. I didn’t know how long you’d need to get ready.”  
Aubrey leaned back into him, a feeling of bliss overtaking her. She couldn’t believe that this was going to be her life from now on. Levi beside her, the sun shining through the window, the fire keeping the room warm enough to barely need the blankets. It was so… euphoric.  
“Here.”  
Aubrey’s bliss faded as she saw what Levi was pushing into her hands. It was her tea.  
She groaned.  
“Leeevi, I just woke up.”  
Levi gently nudged her head to the side to expose more of her neck. He worked his lips over the skin as he answered her.  
“Exactly. Get it over with. Besides, isn't this better than just my hand on your thigh under some shitty Mess Hall table?”  
Aubrey furrowed her brows as she glared down at the drink in her hands. It was the damn tea that was shitty.  
But she knew he was right. It would be better to just get it done now and not have to worry about it at breakfast. Plus, having Levi so close wouldn’t hurt.  
Aubrey sighed again as she lifted the cup to her lips and took the first gulp. Disgusting.  
A shudder of revulsion took over her body and she felt Levi tighten his arms around her waist.  
She groaned and seriously considered tossing the cup across the room. But she didn’t.  
Aubrey took gulp after gulp and then, finally, she shoved the cup back into Levi’s hand.  
He took it from her and set it on the bedside table before he turned her head back and kissed her.  
He pulled away quickly, his brows furrowing and his teeth pulling back from his teeth in a look of loathing.  
“Is that really what that shit tastes like?”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes.  
“Yes, it does, in fact, taste like shit. Did you think I was exaggerating?”  
Levi shook his head, the taste of dirt still on his tongue.  
“No, it’s… I don’t know how you don’t throw up just from the taste.”  
Aubrey couldn’t help but laugh.  
“Sometimes I almost do.”  
Levi sighed and moved his lips back to her neck. It was the least her could do after she’d had to ingest something as vile as that tea.  
“I assume it wouldn’t work if I drank it.”  
Aubrey gave a sad smile. She couldn’t believe he’d be willing to take the burden off her if he could. Especially after he’d just found out what it tasted like.  
“No, it wouldn’t. But that’s alright. I’ll get more used to it after a while.”  
Levi suddenly didn’t care about the lingering taste in his mouth and he turned her head again and found her lips.  
Aubrey reached an arm behind her and tangled her fingers in his hair. She knew she’d never be able to express just how grateful she was to have him but, for now, she just hoped that he could feel how much she loved him.  
When they finally broke away, Aubrey sank back into his chest and Levi’s lips pressed into her hair. They didn’t have to move quite yet. It was still early.  
Aubrey’s eyes caught on the tea cup again and she suddenly had a question.  
“How long have you been up?”  
He’d made her tea and he already seemed very alert.  
Levi hummed as he thought her question over. He’d been awake for almost an hour already. Aubrey had held him through every round of his sobbing and shaking last night and he knew that she was just as exhausted as he was. So, when he was able to work through a bout without waking her, he’d just let her sleep.  
But she wouldn’t want to hear that. It would only upset her. Levi could already hear her asking ‘why didn’t you wake me?’. He wasn’t in the mood to argue so he decided he’d just tell her what she wanted to hear.  
“Not long. Just long enough to make that tea.”  
Aubrey let out a breath.  
“Good.”  
Her hand found his forearm and she stroked his skin absentmindedly. She scanned the room and saw all of the boxes they’d have to find the time to unpack. They had a lot of work to do. But they should still make some time for something more… enjoyable.  
“We should go into town this Sunday.”  
Levi raised an eyebrow.  
“Why?”  
Aubrey chuckled.  
“Well, for one thing, it would be fun. Plus, I want to get some food for the kitchen. I’m sure Erwin would let us take whatever we need from the kitchens but… all of the ingredients they have are so boring. And lastly, we could use a few new things to decorate, don’t you think?”  
“Hmm.” Levi put his lips on her neck again. “Whatever you want.”  
Aubrey smiled. She realized that Levi had probably never been to a market on the surface and she hoped that maybe a day out would be a good distraction for him. But her smile faded as she noticed that she couldn’t remember an important piece of information.  
“What day is it, anyway?”  
Levi huffed against her skin.  
“Saturday.”  
Aubrey’s eyes widened.  
“Really?”  
Levi nodded, amused that she seemed to have lost all track of time.  
“Oh, well, I guess we’re going tomorrow, then.”  
“Mm.”  
He agreed easily. It was so effortless to always just give her what she wanted. He had a feeling that might be a problem at some point. But, for now, he’d just go along with it.  
Levi kept his mouth on her, nipping lightly at a spot behind her ear.  
Aubrey wriggled in his arms and he moved back down her neck as she exhaled lightly. But he only got a few more moments before she started to move out of his lap.  
His hand automatically caught her wrist and tried to pull her back but he forced himself to let go. They did have training. Whether he liked it or not.  
Aubrey giggled at the frustrated expression on his face and crawled back to place a light kiss on his cheek before finally sliding off the bed.  
Her legs were a little achy when she stood but it was nothing she couldn’t shake off. Last night hadn’t really been all that intense. It was slow, gentle. Nothing that would leave her unable to walk.  
Aubrey headed for the bathroom but she didn’t really have much to do. Levi had dragged her into the shower last night and held her up as he washed her. It had been one of the most calming experiences of her life. She’d been completely reliant on him and yet… she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.  
When they’d gone back to the room, Levi had sat her in a chair and proceeded to scrub the mattress within an inch of its life. She’d had to stop herself from laughing at his intensity. It was entirely unfortunate for the mattress that there hadn’t been any sheets.  
Levi had found a new set of bedding in the closet and thrown it on quickly. Aubrey had managed to make her way over to the fireplace and start a fire but as soon as she was done, Levi had scooped her up and set her on the bed.  
It hadn’t taken long for both of them to find each other and fall asleep.  
Aubrey smiled as she finally entered the bathroom. Last night was a time she’d never forget. Though, she felt like she’d never forget a second of the time she spent with Levi. Every moment was burned into her mind.  
She cleared her mind as she finally found the bag that held all of their essentials. She took it into the bathroom and looked into the mirror as she reached for her toothbrush.  
She yelped.  
There was a red mark near her collarbone. She pulled down her shirt, trying to get a better look.  
Levi came rushing into the doorway, his brows furrowed and his eyes scanning.  
“What’s wrong?”  
He’d obviously heard her bark of surprise.  
She turned to him, putting the skin of her neck on full display.  
“Someone got a little carried away last night.”  
Levi’s expression of concern melted away to a smirk as he saw the mark he’d left.  
Aubrey rolled her eyes and turned back to the mirror, rubbing at the spot as if it would magically go away. The bite he’d given her a few days ago was still visible but it was lower down. This mark would just barely be covered by her shirt. If she wasn’t careful, it would be on display for all to see.  
She groaned and met Levi’s eyes in the mirror.  
“Next time, move out of uncoverable zones.”  
Levi shrugged.  
“Not my fault that’s where you like it.”  
Aubrey’s eyes widened and she spun around and pushed him out the door.  
“Go get dressed or something!”  
She heard Levi choke back a laugh and she slammed the door the second he was out.  
She groaned when the lock clicked into place. She didn’t want to deal with Jacob and Leo’s teasing again. If they even got the slightest glimpse of the spot, they’d be on her about it for weeks. Maybe she’d just have Levi beat them up.  
She sighed and moved back to the sink, turning on the water. She’d worry about all of that later.  
Aubrey washed her face, brushed her teeth, and combed her hair. It didn’t take her very long but the motions had already cooled her off. She was still annoyed and slightly embarrassed but there was nothing to be done about it now.  
As soon as she was done, she went back into the main room to see Levi halfway dressed. She dragged her eyes away from the muscles of his back. She was still trying to be mad at him.  
She went through the boxes until she found the one that held her clothes. She rummaged around a bit but eventually found a clean uniform and slipped it on. She’d picked the highest collared shirt she owned but it wasn’t much better than the rest. Her wardrobe didn’t have all that much variation.  
Levi watched as she pulled her shirt over her head and didn’t even try to hide it when she caught him staring. He smirked and Aubrey rolled her eyes at him even as she smiled. Any bit of lingering annoyance melted away instantly.  
Soon both of them were dressed and had their straps on but when Aubrey looked around for her shoes she saw that they were already in Levi’s hands. She grinned at him. She guessed that him lacing up her boots was going to become a new routine.  
Levi moved toward her, backing her into a chair and then gently pushing her into the seat. Aubrey went willingly, the smile still on her face.  
Levi lifted her chin and kissed her gently. Aubrey lifted her hands to run her fingers through his hair. She kept them there even as he kneeled and began to work on her laces.  
As soon as he finished, Aubrey brought his mouth back to hers. She’d never get enough.  
Levi didn’t allow himself to linger. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if he did.  
He pulled back, reaching for Aubrey’s hand and twining their fingers. She rose out of her chair and followed him to their sets of 3DMG. Both of them had their gear hooked on in a matter of minutes and then Aubrey grabbed his hand again.  
Levi pulled them to the door and in just a few seconds they were out and wandering through the halls.  
The two of them walked in silence but Levi brought the back of Aubrey’s hand to his lips several times before they finally reached the Mess Hall. Just as they were about to round the corner, Aubrey tugged up her collar and hoped to god it would stay put. If Erwin caught a glimpse of that mark she was sure she would die of embarrassment.  
Aubrey’s eyes scanned the tables when they entered and she immediately found who she was looking for. Erwin was in his usual spot but there was no Hange with him today. Instead, he was accompanied by a pile of paperwork that he was scratching away at while he ate.  
Aubrey sighed at the sight. He overworked himself.  
But, before she could go reprimand him, Levi pulled her away to the food tables. Just like yesterday, he set a tray in her hands and watched her as she filled it. She tried to suppress a smile. His concern was endearing and… adorable.  
When she finished piling oatmeal onto her plate, she reached for his hand again and dared to place a kiss on his cheek. He grumbled a bit but didn’t pull away. Maybe she’d get him to warm up to the idea of a little public affection. Maybe.  
Aubrey chuckled at his reaction and then pulled him back toward Erwin. He was already staring at them.  
Aubrey anxiously yanked on her collar again as they approached. The damn shirt better stay up.  
They reached Erwin in just a few seconds and Aubrey didn’t hesitate to slide into the seat next to him. Levi sat beside her and she found herself sandwiched between the two most important people in her life. She smiled.  
“Good morning.”  
Erwin smiled back.  
“Good morning. How are you today?”  
Aubrey glanced down at his hands.  
“I’d be better if you’d put the paperwork away while you eat. Seriously, Erwin. You need a lesson in work-life balance.”  
Aubrey reached over and pulled the quill from his fingers, setting it out of his reach. She heard him sigh but she didn’t really care. He worked too hard and relaxing for a few minutes wouldn’t kill him.  
Erwin must have felt her decision because he didn’t protest.  
“You’re probably right but I’m not sure I picked the best profession if that’s the goal.”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes.  
“Probably not, but you can still take the time to eat. Fifteen minutes won’t make that much difference.”  
Erwin smiled again and finally leaned away from his stack of papers.  
“No, I suppose it won't.”  
Their table went quiet for a moment but it wasn’t long before a thought came bursting into Aubrey’s mind.  
“Oh! I have a couple of things I should tell you.”  
Erwin raised an eyebrow.  
“Yes?”  
“Levi and I moved in.”  
Erwin tried to hide his surprise but Aubrey could still see the way his eyes widened ever so slightly.  
“My, that was… fast.”  
Aubrey wasn’t really sure how to answer him without making things awkward so she just moved on.  
“And, um, we’ll be gone most of tomorrow. We’re going into town.”  
Erwin’s eyes widened again, this time a bit more noticeably.  
“Oh, well, enjoy yourselves.”  
Even if he seemed a bit caught off guard, Aubrey could still tell that his words were genuine and she beamed at him.  
“Thanks. I’ll get us some good tea.”  
Erwin grinned.  
“Speaking of tea, can you come tonight? I’ve missed your company. And I could use some help with paperwork if you don’t mind.”  
Aubrey opened her mouth to answer but Erwin picked up again.  
“Of course, you’re welcome to come, too, Levi.”  
There was an instant wave of tension in the air. Whenever the two of them spoke directly, the atmosphere shifted and Aubrey felt as if lightning could strike at any moment. Levi had made his peace with Erwin but there was still a strain between them. She knew it would take time.  
After a few seconds, Levi answered.  
“If Aubrey goes, I’ll go.”  
Aubrey exhaled as the suspense ended. She figured that was as good of a response as she could expect.  
She turned back to Erwin.  
“We’ll be there.”  
Erwin nodded, glad that he’d be able to see her, but he was also intrigued by the idea of sitting down with Levi. He wondered if Levi would even bother to join the conversation or if he’d just sit there and brood at Aubrey’s side.  
“Good. I look forward to it.”  
Aubrey took a bite of her food, knowing that if she didn’t Levi would yell at her soon. She chewed, expecting that their discussion had come to a natural pause. But Erwin spoke up again.  
“Oh, and Aubrey, your name change, it’s done. It was finished last night.”  
Aubrey’s hand froze just as she was lifting her spoon to her mouth.  
Levi felt her tension immediately and his hand found her thigh as he leaned into her. He watched her face, looking for any sign that she needed more. He was just about to reach for her face when she blinked, shook her head, and set her spoon down.  
Levi relaxed a bit, but he didn’t move away. She may have returned to the present but her muscles were still coiled and taut.  
Aubrey found his hand beneath the table and squeezed. She was alright. A little stressed, but alright.  
She turned back to Erwin, drawing in a shaky breath before she spoke.  
“Thank you, Erwin.”  
Erwin nodded. It was obvious to him that the finality of her records change had shaken her but he could also hear the genuine thanks in her tone. She was glad to have it done.  
Aubrey took a few more deep breaths and then turned to look back at Levi. She needed to see his eyes.  
When she met his gaze, she found what she was looking for. There was a gentleness that she took great comfort in but there was also a burning reassurance. Just that was enough to let her know that she’d made the right choice.  
Aubrey turned back to her plate, resolving to never doubt her decision again. It was over. It was done. If her father wanted to show up, she’d just show him how much her time in the military had taught her and beat him to a pulp. He deserved it.  
“Well, I’d better get going. I’ve still got a mountain of these in my office.”  
Erwin reached for his stack of paperwork and then rose from his seat.  
“Uh-uh. Wait.” Aubrey picked up his plate and shoved it into his hands. “You’d better finish that.”  
Erwin smiled and shook his head.  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
Aubrey huffed, a bit surprised by his joking.  
“I’ll see you both later. Have a good day of training.”  
“Bye, Erwin.”  
He shot Aubrey one last glance and then turned on his heel and left.  
Aubrey sighed when he was finally out of sight. The tension between him and Levi plus the realization of her name change had been enough to drain her before the day even started.  
Levi squeezed her thigh again and she shifted to face him.  
The burning had left his eyes but the gentleness remained.  
Her lips turned up into a soft smile. He could already tell that she needed him.  
Aubrey raised her hand to his cheek and this time he didn’t even grumble. Her thumb stroked his skin and she stayed there until going any longer would be unacceptable in public. She let her hand drop but laced their fingers beneath the table.  
“We should go.”  
Levi shook his head.  
“Not until you finish your food.”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes but followed his command and turned back to her plate. She spooned the rest of her oatmeal into her mouth and then let the silverware clatter against the tray.  
She looked back at him.  
“Done.”  
Levi squeezed her hand and they stood, seeing that plenty of other soldiers were finishing up at the same time. At least they weren’t going to be late today.  
They moved to the back of the room and discarded their dishes before finally heading for the field. They didn’t get very far.  
“Aubrey!”  
Aubrey heard a familiar voice call her name and she turned to see Hange running toward her.  
She turned to Levi, let go of his hand, and then nudged him lightly toward the door.  
“Go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you.”  
His brows furrowed instantly, a slightly annoyed look on his face.  
“Why?”  
Aubrey nudged him again, a little harder this time.  
“Because I don’t want to risk you calling her four eyes again. Now, go.”  
Levi hesitated and gave her a hard glare.  
“Go.”  
She practically had to push him to get his feet to move but, finally, with an irritated grunt, he headed for the door.  
Aubrey rolled her eyes as she watched him stomp away. He was so overly grumpy sometimes.  
Aubrey jumped a bit when she felt a set of hands clamp around her shoulder. Her eyes moved forward to see a slightly breathless Hange staring at her with crazed eyes.  
Aubrey raised a confused eyebrow.  
“Um… hi?”  
Hange bypassed all greetings and went right into their conversation.  
“I have to ask you something.”  
Aubrey nodded as her eyebrows raised. She was a little overwhelmed by Hange’s energetic attitude. Though, she couldn’t say she was surprised. There had only ever been a few times when Aubrey had seen her not energetic.  
“Okay, go.”  
Hange’s eyes glinted but her expression turned serious. Aubrey took a breath. Whatever she was about to say was going to be important.  
“Today is going to be hand-to-hand combat training. Now, I know we said we couldn’t adapt your fighting style for use in the regiment but…”  
Aubrey could tell where this was going. Even as her friend trailed off, she knew exactly what her next words would have been.  
“You still want to see it.”  
Hange nodded vigorously, her eyes wide as she practically begged.  
Aubrey thought it over for just a second before she smiled.  
“Okay.”  
Hange froze. Could it really be that easy?  
“Really?”  
Aubrey giggled. She hadn’t seen her friend this excited in far too long. Just seeing the way she was nearly jumping up and down would have been enough reason to show her. But she had another aim, too.  
“Yes, really. I’ve been planning to teach Levi, anyway. You can watch us spar.”  
A hysterical grin spread across Hange’s features and Aubrey found herself mirroring the expression. She was excited that she could do something to make her friend so… thrilled.  
“Okay, let’s go!”  
Hange grabbed her wrist and Aubrey jerked to the side as she was hauled away. But their movement stopped after just a few seconds.  
“Oh, wait, I have another question!”  
Aubrey took a second to comprehend what she was saying. Hange’s mind was moving a thousand times faster than hers.  
“Sure.”  
“What was that tea for yesterday?”  
Aubrey’s face paled and her body froze. She panicked for a moment but quickly pulled herself together. She couldn’t allow Hange to realize her answer was a lie.  
“It, um, helps me with stress. Levi was just being nice and making it for me while we talked.”  
Thankfully, Hange seemed to accept her answer even though Aubrey was fairly sure she’d been less than convincing. Maybe Hange was just too distracted by the idea of seeing her spar.  
“Oh, alright. Well if that’s all-”  
Without any warning, Hange started dragging her away again. Aubrey stumbled along behind her, squinting when they flew out the door and the sun hit her eyes.  
She tried to look for Levi but found that she didn’t have to look very far. A set of hands found her waist as she ran past and she came to a harsh stop as he held her back.  
Hange turned around when she felt Aubrey’s wrist slip out of her grasp only to grin even wider when she saw Levi. She had her two favorite subjects right in front of her… and they were going to spar.  
“Oi, what’s up with the running?”  
Aubrey leaned back into him as she steadied herself. She was being yanked around too much.  
When she finally found her balance again, she shot a glance at Hange. Her friend was so enthusiastic that the only thing she could do was smile. She turned to Levi, smirking.  
“Today’s hand-to-hand combat. And we’re going to fight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : So this chapter was definitely a little more transitiony/fluffy but that’s how it’s gonna be for a while. THESE TWO ARE JUST GONNA HAVE SOME PEACE. I love story but we’re gonna roll with a few more chapters of fluff because THEY DESERVE HAPPINESS. WE’RE GONNA UNPACK, WE’RE GONNA GO INTO TOWN, WE’RE GONNA BE HAPPY. Thank you.  
> Also, I have actually started writing book 2 already…（//・_・//) That’s probably a big mistake because I’ll get too excited about writing that book and then neglect finishing this one. Or maybe I’ll just end up having a few chapters of book 2 to upload right away when it starts. Idk, whatever keeps me writing, I guess lol. I’ve yet to decide on a title for book 2 yet, but I’ll let y’all know when I come to a decision. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments. I know y’all don’t really know what it’s about yet but, honestly, it’ll probably just end up being some cheesy and vague title anyway. So, shoot your shot if you have an idea lol.  
> Okay, anyway, THANKS FOR THE COMMENTSSSSSS :))) I still love every one of them. Sooooooo, I am once again asking you to leave more. They give me instant motivation and I’m gonna NEED it. So THANK YOU to every single person that leaves one. I THRIVE ON THE WORDS YOU TYPE.


	49. Chapter 49

“Relax, Aubrey. You’re not going to hurt me.”  
Levi stared at the hard lines and creases of her face. She was trying to hide the fact that she was worried but she wasn’t doing a very good job.  
Aubrey sighed.  
What had seemed like a good idea just a few minutes ago now seemed dangerous and rushed.  
Aubrey met Levi’s gaze. He was determined, sure. He already had his hands raised and his feet spread for balance. Were she not still considering how unsafe this was in her head, she would have admired the way his muscles were flexing as he prepared for their fight.  
It was true that this had been her idea… or maybe Hange’s idea… but she’d still agreed to it. But now, she was having second thoughts. She hadn’t fought like this in a long time. All of her time in the military had been spent suppressing her father’s teachings. She was afraid that if she let them out now, she wouldn’t be as controlled, as practiced. If she wasn’t careful, she knew she could hurt Levi… seriously. Every move was designed to damage, to break. If she lost focus, if she went too far… things could turn bad. Fast.  
“I don’t know, Levi. I haven’t practiced in so long and I-”  
“I’m not that breakable, Aubrey.”  
Her eyes flicked to meet his gaze. His hands were still raised. He was ready to start at any moment.  
She contemplated. She’d already told Hange that she’d do this, that she’d show her fighting style. But the cons were starting to outweigh the pros. In fact, there was one con that would outweigh any pro. If she hurt Levi, she’d never forgive herself.  
She was just about to shake her head, to back out, when Levi spoke again.  
“I trust you, Aubrey. Now, you trust me.”  
She stared at him, eyes wide as she realized what he was asking of her. He was saying that he knew she was strong, that her fighting style was deadly and horrifying and yet he still trusted her not to hurt him. But he was also saying that he was deadly and horrifying. He was strong, with or without a special technique. No matter what she threw at him, he’d be able to handle it. She wouldn’t take him down easily.  
Her brows furrowed as she came to a decision. She would trust him. He was strong in every way and she suddenly felt sure that he could take anything.  
Levi must have seen the decision in her eyes because his gaze hardened and his position got tighter. He was ready when she was.  
Aubrey lifted her hands, a bit surprised by how easy it was to fall back into old habits. Her feet shifted in the dirt until she found the stability she was looking for and then she looked to Levi one last time.  
“Ready?”  
He stared at her for a few seconds and then finally… he nodded.  
Aubrey moved quickly and went straight for his leg, sweeping at his ankle. He dodged her easily, sliding to the side before she could make contact.  
That was fine. She’d been expecting him to move.  
Even as she’d been sweeping at Levi’s leg, she’d been balancing herself, preparing for what he might do next. She’d taken a gamble. Would he slide left, right, back? He’d chosen right. Unfortunately for him, that was what she’d expected him to do.  
Having already balanced herself, Aubrey stood more quickly than Levi had been expecting and she swung her leg at his side.  
Levi’s eyes widened as he realized he was going to get hit. There was no avoiding it… but maybe he could lessen the blow. He shifted so she’d hit more of his back than his front. It still hurt but not as badly as if she’d hit his ribs.  
Levi barely had time to brace himself before Aubrey had her fist sailing toward his gut.  
He knew he had to move fast. Their fight had just begun and she already had him on the defensive.  
He reached out and caught her wrist just before Aubrey could hit him. But he knew he’d made a mistake when she didn’t even flinch.  
She wrapped her own hand around his wrist and yanked him closer. She pulled him in, straightening his arm as she continued to grip his wrist. Her free arm came up to press just above his elbow. But she stopped.  
Aubrey held him there but didn’t dare go further. She shifted her eyes to look at him.  
“We’re done. If I finish this move I’m going to break your arm.”  
Levi’s eyes widened as she let him go. Before he knew it, she was in front of him, one hand on his chest as the other lightly brushed against where she’d kicked him.  
Her brows furrowed and she stared at him, concern evident on her features.  
“Did I hurt you?”  
Levi couldn’t seem to find his voice. He hadn’t even been able to get a hit in and their fight hadn’t lasted more than 20 seconds.  
Aubrey’s features started to grow harsher and Levi could tell her concern was deepening. His silence was worrying her. He finally found the strength to speak.  
“No. You didn’t hurt me.”  
Levi saw her relax a bit but he could see she was still upset. He raised a hand to her face, momentarily forgetting that they were in the middle of the training field and that Hange was watching their every move.  
Now he knew what was different about the style her father had taught her. It was aggressive, forward, gutsy. The military taught how to fight, but their style erred on the side of caution. If your opponent got the upper hand, you were taught to free yourself and back off until you could recoup. But when he’d grabbed Aubrey’s wrist, she hadn’t hesitated to get closer. If she hadn’t executed her move perfectly, Levi easily could have gotten her on the ground, in a headlock, something that definitely wouldn’t have been good for her. But her fighting style was based on precision and aggression. It was different and shocking. Most opponents wouldn’t be expecting it. He certainly hadn’t been.  
Levi’s thoughts were interrupted by an excited squeal.  
He turned to see Hange practically jumping up and down. The sight irked him but before he could tell her to shut it, she was already running over to them.  
“Aubrey! You won so fast! Why did you pull him in instead of move away? Could you really have broken his arm?”  
Aubrey reluctantly turned her eyes away from Levi. She was still worried that she’d hurt him but he’d said he was fine. She’d just have to trust him.  
“Yes, Hange, I would have broken his arm if I hadn’t stopped.”  
Hange’s eyes widened.  
“You mean it’s a sure thing? Like, he couldn’t have gotten away?”  
Aubrey shook her head.  
“Probably not.”  
Hange looked like she was about to explode.  
“Oh my god. Go again! Please, go again!”  
Aubrey hesitated. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go again. The whole experience had been strange. After so many years of relearning her combat skills in the military, it had felt bizzare to let her muscles do what they remembered. She wasn’t sure she liked the feeling. But even worse was the fact that she could have done serious damage to Levi. They’d sparred before, of course. She hit him, he’d hit her, none of it was new. But somehow this felt different. Her father’s style was too intense, too aggressive. She didn’t like using it on him.  
“No.” Aubrey shook her head. “No, I don’t like it. I don’t want to risk it.”  
Levi sighed. He had complete faith that she wouldn’t actually hurt him but he could see that she still doubted herself.  
“Again, Aubrey. I can take it.”  
Aubrey glanced at him. She could see the resolve in his eyes but she still shook her head.  
“No, Levi. I-”  
Levi spun her around and pushed.  
She stumbled forward, stunned by his sudden actions. What was he doing?  
As soon as she steadied herself, she turned to see what the hell he was doing but she didn’t have much time to look.  
Levi’s fist was headed straight for her face.  
Aubrey gasped and ducked just in time to avoid getting pummeled into the ground.  
“Levi!”  
Her protest didn’t stop him. He swung again and Aubrey once again moved out of the way at the last second.  
“Come on, Aubrey. I told you I could take it. How do you plan to teach me if you’re too afraid to show me?”  
She avoided an attempted sweep of her leg and jumped back, trying to retreat, but Levi just followed her. His punches came so quickly that she couldn’t even answer. It took all she had just to avoid getting hit.  
Levi didn’t let up and they carried on for what seemed like an eternity. Aubrey kept avoiding but she wasn’t fighting back. But that wasn’t what Levi wanted. He wanted her to take him down.  
He sped up, determined to force a reaction from her. His foot nicked her ankle and she lost her balance. Levi saw his opportunity and moved in, throwing a punch at her ribs.  
Aubrey didn’t know what happened. She lost all control of her body and she moved automatically. Even as she was reaching for his arm, she wanted to stop. But her limbs had a mind of their own.  
One hand caught his wrist, pushing his arm out far enough that he missed her ribs. Her other hand caught his collar, holding him to her as she wrapped her leg around his ankle and yanked. Levi lost his footing immediately and he fell back.  
He hit the ground with a thump and Aubrey heard him grunt. She was pretty much laying on top of him. Had this been a real fight, she would have easily been able to pin his hands under her knees, wrap her hands around his throat, and strangle him.  
But this wasn’t a real fight, and she’d just toppled Levi into the dirt.  
She lifted herself up immediately, hovering over him as she scanned for any sign that she’d injured him.  
“Oh my god, Levi. I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”  
“I’m fine, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey shook her head and she started to tremble.  
“No, I-”  
Levi put one hand over her mouth and pressed the other into her waist. He felt a little bad. Perhaps he shouldn’t have pushed her like that. She was obviously upset.  
“I said I’m fine.”  
He squeezed her side in reassurance and after a few seconds he felt her start to relax a little.  
Levi let his hand drop away from her mouth and instead moved to the collar of her shirt. He pulled it up. The mark was showing.  
Aubrey barely noticed. She felt more confident that she hadn’t hurt him but she still couldn’t shake her sense of unease.  
Levi sighed and started to sit up. Aubrey tried to scramble off him but he held her still. They weren’t done yet.  
“I’m serious, Aubrey. Get over it. You didn’t hurt me and you’re not going to hurt me. Forget about holding back. You can push me into the dirt as many times as you want to.”  
Aubrey couldn’t tear her eyes from his expression. He looked so calm, so sure.  
“Now let’s go again.”  
Levi stood and lifted her up as he went. He tugged her shirt up again as she got her bearings.  
Aubrey only felt shock for a moment. He’d been very blunt with her but also reassuring. He trusted her completely, even more than she trusted herself. And she was starting to realize that he wasn’t going to give up. He wanted her to remember, to use the style she’d hidden for so long. Whether that was for the sake of his learning or for the purpose of her own healing, she didn’t know. Probably both.  
Aubrey felt a shift within her. If he was that insistent, she’d go along with him. She knew that he was right.  
“You’re sure?”  
Levi sighed again but he hoped this would be the last time he had to say it.  
“Yes, Aubrey. I’m sure.”  
Aubrey nodded and exhaled.  
“Okay, but I’m actually going to teach you now, not just show you. We can’t have me winning every time. That’s boring.”  
She smiled at him and Levi smirked. He knew he’d finally gotten her on his side.  
“Fine. I’m listening.”  
Aubrey smiled and turned her head to look for Hange. She saw her friend standing about twenty feet away, watching their every action curiously.  
Aubrey blinked. She hadn’t realized how far they’d traveled during their fight.  
“Hange!”  
Aubrey raised her hand and waved in a silent ‘come here’.  
Hange scurried over instantly, staring them down with a familiar crazed look. But, for once, Hange waited for Aubrey to speak first.  
“I’m done showing. I’m going to start teaching now but I think you should get back to your squad before you get stable duty.”  
Aubrey didn’t think that Hange had any kind of special permission to be watching them and the longer she stayed away from her own squad, the worse her punishment would be.  
Hange shook her head. The idea of leaving was horrifying. Aubrey had just gotten to the good part.  
“Ugh, no. Continue, please. You’ve only just started!”  
Aubrey raised an eyebrow.  
“Hange, if you get in trouble, you’ll never be able to watch. You’ll be too busy cleaning out stalls.”  
Aubrey could see the reluctance in her friend’s eyes but she knew she’d won. Hange was too logical to throw out her opportunities in the future for momentary gratification.  
“Fine. But you’re going to show me more later!”  
Aubrey chuckled.  
“Sure, Hange. Now, go before your captain comes looking for you!”  
Hange still hesitated but Aubrey reached out and gave her a light shove and eventually her friend started to move away.  
“Go, Hange.”  
That seemed to do the trick and, finally, Hange fully turned and ran off in the direction of her squad.  
When Hange was a good distance away, Aubrey turned to meet Levi’s eyes. He looked a little annoyed, probably because she’d stopped to talk to Hnage, but his annoyance was turning to anticipation with every passing second.  
Aubrey smiled. If he was ready to learn, she was ready to teach.  
She glanced over his body, trying to get her bearings.  
“Let’s see… I don’t know where to start…”  
Aubrey thought back, trying to remember how her father had begun her own lessons but she couldn’t find any memory that fit the bill. She’d been training since, quite literally, before she could remember.  
She sighed. Maybe this was going to be harder than she’d thought. She’d just have to wing it.  
Aubrey reached for Levi’s arm and brought it up to guard his face.  
“Stay.”  
Levi rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe she was starting with stance. It was the most basic of all things. Did she think him incompetent?  
Aubrey raised his other arm and situated it exactly where she wanted it before letting him go. She moved behind him, pulling his shoulders back to straighten his spine. He gave her an annoyed scoff but didn’t say anything.  
She tapped at his feet with her toe until his stance was widened to her liking.  
Levi had a rather lax style of fighting. Precise, but fluid. What she was going to teach him was anything but ‘lax’. Every movement was fast, harsh, aggressive. If he was going to learn it properly, he had to know the basics first.  
Aubrey circled back around to face him.  
Levi raised an eyebrow.  
“Picky much?”  
Aubrey smiled and shook her head.  
“You’re the one who wanted to learn.”  
“Yeah, well, I’m not a toddler so pick up the pace.”  
Aubrey flicked his forehead but he held the stance she’d given him. He wasn’t about to go through the whole process again.  
“You’re too loose when you fight normally. It works for you but this style requires more structure. So don’t let that stance drop.”  
Levi grunted but he didn’t object. If he was being honest, he was just happy that Aubrey was actually teaching him. He’d been worried that she would find it too painful to fight in the style she’d rejected for so long. He’d thought that maybe it would bring up too many bad memories or cause her pain. But now that she was past her initial hesitation, he was sure that she would continue. He hoped it would be good for her.  
“Okay, now…”  
Aubrey put her hand on his arm. She hesitated for a moment and then, ever so slowly, slid her finger over the taut muscles.  
Levi glanced at her, his eyebrow raised.  
She smiled mischievously at him. They might as well enjoy their little lesson.  
“There’s a whole regiment around us, you know.”  
Aubrey hummed.  
“Do you care?”  
Levi followed her every movement. To everyone else, her touch would look innocent, like the lesson it was intended to be. Unless somebody looked closely, only the two of them would know what was really going on.  
He did care, but the real question was if he cared enough to tell her to stop.  
That was easy. No. He didn’t.  
Levi turned his eyes back forward and that was all Aubrey needed to know that he didn’t mind her touch one bit. She chuckled lightly.  
She moved behind him, one hand splaying across his shoulder blade as she tucked her chin into the curve of his neck.  
“When you punch, or kick for that matter, keep it short. Everything is about precision. It has to be quick and to the point. No wide swings. They waste energy and time.”  
Levi hummed. He was managing to pay attention even while she had her hands on him. It took all of his concentration. It wasn’t an easy task.  
Aubrey dragged her hand down his back and Levi had to stop himself from shuddering.  
“And this style is best when you’re close to your opponent. Very close.” She pressed further into him and Levi had a sudden and overwhelming urge to grab her and drag her back to the castle. Maybe he’d gotten himself into more than he could handle.  
Aubrey pulled away from him, letting her fingers trail over his torso as she circled back around to face him.  
“So, don’t be afraid to-”  
Her hand found his collar and she tugged him against her.  
“Pull them in.”  
Aubrey smirked at him.  
Levi could hardly take it. She’d never teased him like this before. It was driving him crazy.  
Without even consciously making the decision, he leaned forward.  
But just as his lips were about to find hers, she was gone.  
Levi felt her hands yanking on his shoulders. Somehow, she’d gotten behind him again.  
“Uh-uh. Posture, Levi.”  
The emphasis she placed on his name made a shiver go down his spine.  
He didn’t care about posture anymore. He could barely pay attention to what she was saying at this point. With just a few touches, she’d managed to make him unravel.  
And she knew it, too.  
Aubrey could see him itching to turn around and look at her and she had to suppress a laugh. She’d never imagined she could have this much power over Levi.  
“How are things going over here?”  
Aubrey’s head snapped to the side to see Captain Saru glaring at them.  
Thankfully, they weren’t in any kind of suspicious position. It just looked like Aubrey was giving Levi a pointer of some kind.  
Aubrey was frozen for a moment but quickly calmed herself. She had to answer.  
“Everything’s fine, Captain.”  
Saru crossed her arms over her chest. She looked entirely bored and uninterested in the morning’s training. Apparently, she didn’t find hand-to-hand combat all that entertaining.  
“Alright, well, start wrapping it up. Erwin only had this on the agenda as a warm-up for the day. Get your gear back on. We’re switching to team training in a few minutes.”  
Aubrey nodded instantly.  
“Yes, Captain.”  
Saru glared at them for a moment longer, gave a disinterested grunt, and then turned and walked away.  
As soon as she was out of sight, Aubrey let out a shuddering breath. She couldn’t believe how close they’d been to getting caught. If Saru had come over just a few seconds earlier, she would have seen what, upon closer examination, was obviously not just a training tip.  
Aubrey shuddered again at the thought. Maybe she’d been a bit too bold.  
But she’d have to think about that later. For now, she had to get Levi and find their gear. Saru didn’t appreciate tardiness.  
Without even looking him in the eyes, Aubrey grabbed Levi’s hand and started tugging him away.  
But he didn’t let her get very far.  
Levi yanked her back to him and before Aubrey could process what was happening, his lips were crushing hers.  
His hand moved into her hair, gripping tightly against her scalp and his lock on her waist was bruising.  
Aubrey tried to kiss him back but she could hardly keep up with him. He was so… desperate.  
Levi kept her there for a long while. Her teasing had put him on edge and when they’d been interrupted it had only left him more anxious for her touch. He had half a mind to pick her up and carry her back to their room right now… but he knew she wouldn’t be a fan of that. So… he’d have to wait. All day if he had to. But he would wait. Impatiently.  
Levi only let her go when she started gasping for air.  
His eyes slid down her neck and landed on the mark that her shirt was currently failing to cover. Perhaps he’d take advantage of that fact.  
His head darted down as Aubrey was still catching her breath and he let his teeth graze the spot.  
Aubrey gasped loudly and she started to shake, just as she always did when he touched her there.  
Levi let his lips hit the spot a few more times, enjoying the way he was having to hold her up a little too much. He ran a hand up her back and gently scratched at the place he’d found earlier that morning. Aubrey practically melted into his arms. Levi smirked. Now he was the one with power over her.  
Finally, he pulled away from her neck and Aubrey couldn’t do anything but pant and stare at him. Levi… Levi had just put his mouth all over her in public. Granted, she didn’t think anyone was watching but he wasn’t exactly the type to take that kind of risk. Had she really had that much of an effect on him?  
Levi reached up and tugged her shirt over the mark again. He was finding that he actually quite liked the idea of it. But, still, it was for his eyes only. So, until he could get her back to their room, it would have to stay covered.  
For now… they had another task to attend to.  
Without any warning or elaboration, Levi grabbed Aubrey’s hand and, despite the way she was still trembling from his advance, he began to pull her away.  
“Let’s go.”  
Aubrey stumbled after him, still trying to catch her breath and wondering what in the world she’d gotten herself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, this chapter focused pretty heavily on Aubrey’s fighting style but that’s because it’s going to be important in book 2!!! But I added a little *spunk* in there for y’all. Lowkey REALLY fun to write lol. Poor Levi didn’t know what was happening.  
> Also… writing book 2 is amazing y’all. It’s so weird! The more I write this story, the more I feel like these two are, like, REAL people. I never understood what authors were talking about when they said that the character kind of just “write themselves”. But, like, now I get it. I don’t even feel like I control what they do anymore lol.  
> And I’m glad to hear that everyone is enjoying the “honeymoon phase” just as much as I am. They are LITERALLY too cute. And they deserve it. They’ve been through too much junk for me to not just let them breathe for a minute.


	50. Chapter 50

WARNING: Somewhat smutty? Like, no real smut but kinda close, I guess. They’re teenagers ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Training both flew by and lasted forever.  
Levi stayed close to her the whole day, incessantly tugging up her collar to hide the mark. Sometimes Aubrey had felt like he was even more focused on keeping her collarbone covered than he was focused on training. She couldn’t say she really minded. Every time he touched her, his eyes would get that hungry look and she would feel sparks flying in her stomach. The intensity of his stares was so great that Aubrey wondered if he’d even let her eat dinner before he dragged her back to the room.  
When the bell finally rang to announce dinner, Aubrey barely had time to land before she heard the thump of Levi’s boots next to her. Before she could even look at him, his hand was in hers.  
She turned to him, smiling.  
“Dinner?”  
He nodded but Aubrey didn’t see the kind of hunger that desired food on his features.  
She had to hold back a laugh. She couldn’t believe that she’d gotten him so riled up this morning that the effects had lasted all day.  
But he would have to wait. They still had dinner and tea with Erwin to get through. Their night would certainly be a test of his patience.  
“Okay, let’s go then.”  
Aubrey started toward the castle and Levi followed her easily.  
They walked silently but Aubrey could feel Levi’s eyes still on her. When they’d almost reached the castle, she looked at him, expecting him to avert his gaze. But he didn’t. That hunger had only grown stronger.  
Aubrey had an idea. Perhaps he needed just a little something to tide him over.  
She pulled him into the castle with a bit more spring in her step.  
Their heels clacked on the floor and Aubrey pulled them through the castle toward the Mess Hall. But about halfway there, her eyes darted to the side and she turned to Levi, a sly smile on her lips.  
Levi’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t even have time to open his mouth before Aubrey yanked him down a dark side hallway. It was short and it didn’t take her very long to round the corner and be out of sight.  
She didn’t waste any time.  
Levi’s back slammed into the wall as her hands found his hair and her lips crashed into him. She heard a low rumble in his throat and knew she didn’t have a chance at resisting when he wrapped an arm around her and reversed their position.  
The stone wall was cold on her back and Levi was pressing his body against her so tightly that Aubrey knew he could feel every breath, every twitch, every movement.  
His hands found her head and he locked his fingers against her scalp and he pushed his lips against her even harder.  
Aubrey could barely breathe. She wasn’t sure they’d ever kissed so… intensely. Every time Levi’s mouth met hers, his tongue explored every corner of her mouth. She’d been the one to start this encounter but he was in control now.  
Levi’s hands dropped from her hair but his body kept her pressed into the wall and his lips never left hers. Aubrey couldn’t help the moan that escaped her when his fingers slid down her sides.  
His hands stopped at her hips and he pushed her even harder against the stone. The force was almost crushing but Aubrey didn’t care. It was what she wanted.  
Levi kept her there for a moment and Aubrey let her hands roam all over his body. She slid them down his neck, over his chest, across his shoulders, everywhere. She couldn’t seem to get enough contact.  
Levi felt the same.  
One of his hands left her hips and he slid it under her thigh, wrapping her leg around his back. He heard Aubrey gasp but she was quieted when his tongue went past her lips again.  
His right hand went down her left leg, her last pillar of support, and he yanked.  
Aubrey squealed into his mouth as she completely left the floor. Levi was supporting her completely with just the pressure of his body pinning her to the wall.  
She tightened her legs around his back and she heard some kind of groan slip from him.  
Her hands found his hair again and the feeling of his fingers digging into her thighs made her so crazy that she almost couldn’t take it.  
She started to fight back against his tongue. Levi groaned again, though it was closer to a growl this time.  
Aubrey started to bite at his lip but just as she thought she was getting somewhere, she felt his hand slip under her shirt and his fingers splayed across her bare stomach.  
She gasped and lost whatever ground she’d gained when Levi’s tongue reentered her mouth.  
His fingers dragged across the skin of her abdomen and sides and Aubrey moaned. Her head was spinning.  
Suddenly, Aubrey felt his hand sliding a little too high and she started to panic. If any kind of clothing came off, she didn’t know if she’d be able to stop. And they certainly couldn’t do this in a hallway. She’d only intended for this to be a few seconds long. They’d already gone far beyond that.  
She tried to break away to speak but Levi sensed her intentions and snapped a hand to her jaw, holding her in place.  
Aubrey was stunned for a second. All he was doing was making it harder for her to find the will to break away.  
But she tried again.  
She pulled away successfully this time and Levi’s mouth found her neck as she caught her breath. He’d left her gasping for air and hardly able to think.  
It took quite a few deep breaths before she could finally speak, but even then she was still panting.  
“Levi… we have… to stop.”  
Levi grunted and put his lips back on hers. Aubrey kissed him but broke away after just a few seconds.  
“We’re in a… hallway, Levi.”  
Aubrey felt his mouth on her collarbone but he didn’t have quite the same intensity as before. She was getting through to him.  
“We have dinner… and then tea… with Erwin…”  
Levi went over the sensitive spot and she choked back her gasp. She reached for his face and pulled him back until she could look in his eyes.  
“But then we have... all night.”  
Levi stared at her, his mind swirling. He didn’t want to stop. But possibility after possibility flashed before his eyes and he eventually pressed his lips to hers. He could wait a little longer. It would be worth it. The things they could do in a bed were far better than what they could do in a dusty side-hall.  
Levi sank to the floor and Aubrey’s back slid down the wall as he fell to his knees. He lowered her all the way to the ground and Aubrey wrapped her arms around his neck as they caught their breath together.  
Her mind flashed from moment to moment, processing what had just happened. At first, there was only a tug at the corner of her lips. But then the tug turned to a smile and the smile turned to a giggle.  
Levi raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. Her arms were still around his neck and their faces were only a few inches apart.  
“Oi, what’s so funny?”  
Aubrey calmed herself enough to answer him.  
“Levi… did we just… make out in a hallway?”  
Levi smirked at her.  
“Wanna do it again?”  
Aubrey’s giggle bounced off the walls around them and she pulled him into a hug. She was afraid to kiss him for fear that his joke would turn into a reality.  
Levi still accepted her embrace and he held her tightly as his lips found her neck again. He only stayed there for a moment and then, suddenly, Aubrey felt him lift her from the floor.  
She held him to her even tighter when her feet steadied. They’d have to go back now and suddenly she was regretting making him stop.  
They’d just have to get through the night quickly.  
Aubrey grabbed Levi’s hand, squeezed, and then moved away. Her fingers went to the seam of her shirt, tucking it back into her pants. When she looked up, she saw Levi smirking at her again but she just ignored him. She brushed stray strands of hair out of his eyes and then smoothed her own hair back. Levi tugged her shirt up over the once again exposed mark.  
“Oi, when we go to town tomorrow buy a shirt that covers this shit.”  
Aubrey smiled as she straightened his collar and tugged his jacket down.  
“Yes, sir.”  
Levi grunted at her response and tried to ignore the deep twang in his gut.  
Finally, Aubrey thought she'd gotten them looking back to normal but she didn’t have a mirror to check.  
“Okay, how do I look?”  
Levi stared at her for a moment. He didn’t see any signs of their encounter but even if he had, his answer would have been the same.  
“Beautiful.”  
Aubrey froze for a moment but when his arms wrapped around her, she melted into him, a giddy smile on her lips. He was getting better with words.  
Aubrey found his lips and she kissed him despite her prior fears that she wouldn’t be able to stop. She couldn’t help herself after he’d said something so sweet.  
Somehow, they managed to prevent themselves from repeating the process all over again and Aubrey moved her mouth to Levi’s ear when they broke away.  
“I love you.”  
Levi put his lips on her neck and Aubrey knew that he was saying it back.  
Her grin grew even wider and she found his hand, twining their fingers.  
“Let’s go.”  
Levi kissed her neck one last time and then moved back to let her lead the way.  
Aubrey tugged on his hand and in just a few seconds they rounded the corner, made their way down the short hallway, and were back on the path to the Mess Hall.  
There were still soldiers trickling in as they walked and Aubrey had to stop herself from laughing. She couldn’t believe what they’d been doing just around the corner as the entire regiment walked by. Aubrey glanced at him and, from the look on his face, she figured he was thinking about the same thing.  
They made their way through the castle in silence and then rounded into the Mess Hall. It didn’t take long for Aubrey to spot Erwin. Hange was next to him, talking rather excitedly. Aubrey thought she had a pretty good guess about what.  
Levi tugged on her hand and they headed for the back of the room where he fulfilled his habit of watching her fill her plate before starting on his own. Aubrey couldn’t contain her smile when he finally took her hand again and they made their way over to the table.  
Erwin watched them as they walked. Very rarely had he seen Aubrey look so… content. Her eyes were glued to Levi’s face as they walked and he returned the gesture. Somehow, they still seemed to be able to navigate the room while never looking away. Aubrey’s mouth looked like it was stuck in a permanent smile. And it wasn’t that Aubrey’s smile was a rare sight, in fact it was quite the opposite, but when she looked at Levi… Erwin could see something different. A piece of her that was usually hidden and tense somehow relaxed. And it showed.  
Erwin sighed as they grew closer. He’d been uneasy about Aubrey’s relationship with Levi from the start. Levi was dangerous, unpredictable, and the last thing he wanted was for her to get hurt again.  
But things hadn’t turned out that way and now Aubrey had another person in her life to lean on. So, despite his reservations, he would be happy for her. For them both.  
Aubrey finally slid into the seat beside him and she turned to look at him. All he could see was the happiness in her eyes.  
“Hi.”  
Erwin chuckled.  
“Hello. How are you?”  
Aubrey took a bite of her food and then answered.  
“Splendid, thank you.”  
Erwin smiled widely. She was in a particularly good mood as well.  
“Good. Hange tells me you had an interesting day of training.”  
Aubrey froze for a second but quickly forced herself to keep moving. She didn’t want to look suspicious. Had Hange seen what they’d done on the field?  
Aubrey’s eyes flicked between Erwin and Hange, searching for any sign that they were referring to her exchange with Levi. Thankfully, she found nothing and she instantly relaxed. There was only one other thing they could be talking about.  
“Yes. I was teaching Levi.”  
Erwin nodded.  
“And how did it go?”  
“She’s easily distracted.”  
Aubrey nearly choked on her potatoes.  
“Really?”  
Thankfully, Erwin hadn’t picked up on the teasing tone in Levi’s voice.  
Aubrey slapped his leg under the table. If anything, he was the easily distracted one. She’d barely even touched him during their lesson and he’d lost all ability to pay attention for the rest of the day.  
“I am not!”  
Aubrey answered Erwin’s question before Levi could say something even more promiscuous.  
Erwin just laughed at her response and Aubrey shot Levi a glance that told him he’d be getting it later.  
That was fine by him.  
“You’re going to show me again tomorrow, right?”  
Hange broke the tension and Aubrey turned to her, grateful for a slight change in subject.  
Aubrey shook her head.  
“No, not tomorrow. Levi and I are going into town.”  
Hange looked instantly discouraged.  
“For what?”  
“She needs a new shirt.”  
Aubrey couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She kicked Levi in the shin.  
“And um, we need some groceries. We have a kitchen now.”  
Aubrey hurried to cover Levi’s tracks before Hange could ask her why she needed a new shirt.  
It worked.  
“You know you’re welcome to take anything from the kitchens, Aubrey.”  
Erwin changed the topic and Aubrey nearly sighed in relief.  
She hurried to answer him.  
“Thanks, but I want something a little more exciting than green beans and potatoes every night.”  
Erwin laughed and nodded.  
“Fair enough.”  
Aubrey sat back, relieved that she’d managed to navigate Levi’s second round of teasing. He was really going to get it.  
“But you’ll show me the day after, right? Before training starts?”  
Hange broke in again, still anxious to know that her wish would be fulfilled.  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed as she thought things over. If she was really going to teach Levi, she’d have to make time for it. They didn’t practice hand-to-hand combat all that often during training and when they did it usually wasn’t for a very long time. The best time to teach Levi would be before training started. They probably wouldn’t be needing to go to the Mess Hall much after tomorrow. They’d have their own food in their room. That meant they’d have some extra time to practice. Plus, Levi was an early riser, anyway. He probably wouldn’t mind.  
Aubrey glanced at him but found that he was waiting for her answer the same way Hange was. Whatever she said would go.  
Aubrey smiled.  
“Yes. The day after tomorrow, before training starts.”  
Hange practically squealed and she jumped in her seat.  
Aubrey couldn’t help but laugh at her excitement. If there was one thing Hange never failed to do, it was get excited.  
Aubrey turned back to her food but only managed to get in one more bite before Hange spoke again.  
“Aubrey, I have to know, why is your style so close? Being that near your opponent obviously puts you at risk.”  
Aubrey nodded and took another bite. It was a good question.  
“You’re right. It’s very risky. But the whole idea is that you master the movements before you ever actually use the style. It takes a long time to learn and it’s not very practical if you just want to figure out how to protect yourself quickly. But once you know it…” Aubrey met Hange’s eyes. “It’s almost impossible to beat.”  
Hange was so amazed that she couldn’t even speak.  
Aubrey felt a little grateful for that.  
Erwin took advantage of the silence.  
“Would you mind if I watched, also? I won’t stick around for too long, I’m just… curious.”  
Levi scoffed.  
"God, it’s going to be a whole fucking circus.”  
Aubrey smacked him again, this time on the shoulder. When she was satisfied with an annoyed but silent look on his face, she turned back to Erwin.  
“Of course, Erwin. You’re welcome to watch.”  
Erwin just laughed at her. Levi obviously wasn’t a fan of the idea but she didn’t seem to care.  
“Thank you.”  
Aubrey smiled at him, hoping that Levi’s comment wouldn’t deter him from actually coming. If there was anyone who should know her fighting style besides Levi, it was him.  
Erwin broke the silence again as he stood from his seat and grabbed his empty tray.  
“Well, I’m going to head back to my office. I’ll see you later?”  
Aubrey nodded.  
“Yes, we’ll just make the tea and then we’ll be up.”  
Erwin smiled.  
“Take your time. I’ll see you in a bit.”  
Aubrey watched him disappear from the Mess Hall before she finally turned back to her food. This time she was actually able to get a few bites down before she was interrupted.  
“Oh, Aubrey.”  
She looked up to see Hange staring at her, a puzzled expression on her face.  
“I was thinking about that tea you were making the other day. You said it was for stress, right? But you were using anemone flower. I couldn’t find any mention of it being used to treat stress.”  
Aubrey nearly spit out her food and she heard Levi choke. Thank god Erwin wasn’t there.  
Aubrey looked up at Hange and had to resist the urge to glare. Sometimes, she asked far too many questions.  
Aubrey pulled herself together. If she didn’t answer quickly, Hange would instantly pick up on her hesitation and know that she was lying.  
“I couldn’t tell you, Hange. It was my father’s recipe. It’s always worked for me so I’ve never questioned it.”  
At least that was partially true. It was her father’s recipe.  
Aubrey almost sighed when Hange nodded.  
“Hm, I might look into it. Maybe your father knew something we don't.”  
Aubrey laughed.  
“I’m sure there’s a lot of things my father knows that we don’t. But maybe it should stay that way.”  
Hange faltered. She hadn’t thought about the fact that bringing up Aubrey’s father might make things awkward.  
Aubrey sensed the shift in the air and decided that it was her turn to ask a question.  
“Tell me about your research. What’s new?”  
Hange’s face lit up and the atmosphere shifted immediately.  
Aubrey shifted her eyes to Levi as Hange began to talk and she smiled teasingly at him. She knew he didn’t appreciate Hange’s endless questions and explanations. She squeezed his hand beneath the table. He’d get used to it.  
Hange rambled on and Aubrey hardly ever had to answer with anything more than a nod or a short “yes”. At one point, Hange asked if she’d be willing to participate in an experiment again and Aubrey had agreed without even thinking about it. Oh well. She’d just go along with it.  
Finally, Aubrey finished her food and she stood immediately, taking Levi’s hand and pulling him from his seat.  
Thankfully, Hange had finished too and there was a natural break in her story telling.  
“Well, thanks for the conversation, Hange. Let me know when you want to run that experiment and we’ll do it.”  
Hange nodded eagerly.  
“Sure!”  
Aubrey smiled at her.  
“Goodnight, Hange.”  
“Goodnight.”  
With that, Aubrey turned and moved to discard her tray, pulling Levi along behind her. When they had gotten rid of their plates, Levi twisted toward the exit but Aubrey tugged him in an entirely different direction. She was headed for the kitchens.  
“Oi. Where are we going?”  
Aubrey smiled.  
“We have to make tea for Erwin.”  
Levi grunted.  
“Can’t he make his own tea?”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes.  
“We’re going to be drinking it too, idiot.”  
Levi stared at her. Maybe he was a bad influence on her language.  
Aubrey just giggled at his reaction and pulled him faster.  
Finally, they burst through the doors to the kitchen. There were a few people moving about and they all turned to look at her. She just grinned and moved on. They all knew who she was.  
Aubrey pulled Levi over to the stove and lit a fire inside of it.  
“Get me that kettle, please.”  
Levi eyed her but did as she said.  
Aubrey took it from him and filled it with water before leaving it to warm up.  
She quickly moved on to readying the tea leaves as well as filling a small cup with milk and another with sugar. Both her and Erwin liked their tea sweetened.  
“Don’t tell me you put that shit in your tea.”  
Aubrey glanced at him.  
“I take it you like it black, then.”  
“You don’t?”  
Aubrey laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
“No. I actually have a sweet tooth. Remember that for our anniversary.” She winked at him and then turned back to the tea.  
Levi scoffed but he felt a wave of adrenaline go through him. The idea that they could be together for a year, for longer than a year even, made his gut twist in a way he’d never experienced. If he could, he’d spend forever at her side. And he’d buy her as much candy as she wanted.  
As soon as the water started to boil, Aubrey started with the tea and she was ready to go after just a few more minutes. She picked up the tray but Levi quickly took it from her, balancing it on one hand and then locking their fingers.  
Aubrey smiled and kissed his cheek. He was too sweet.  
Levi guided them out of the kitchen and back through the Mess Hall until they were wandering through the castle. He knew the way to Erwin’s office so he was able to lead instead of having Aubrey direct him. He was starting to get used to the place.  
They walked quietly but every so often Aubrey would press her lips to his shoulder. He squeezed her hand every time she did.  
After just a short while, they arrived outside the familiar wooden door. Levi stepped back so that Aubrey could knock but before she raised her hand, she turned to him.  
Her hand reached into his hair and she pulled his lips to hers. She didn’t hold him there for long, pulling away after just a few seconds.  
She looked into his eyes, smiling up at him.  
“I love you.”  
Levi let a small smile take over and Aubrey grinned at him before turning away and knocking on the door.  
It was only a second before Aubrey heard the words she needed.  
“Come in.”  
Aubrey glanced at Levi one last time and then pushed the door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so, FOR SURE smut next chapter lol. I don’t think I really planned for it to happen that way but… it’s gonna. And it’s gonna be spicy lol. Somebody commented that “they need to go to horny jail” and I just about died laughing. THEY’RE TEENAGERS, Y’ALL. You’re right tho lol. But I think this is the last smut before we get back to the story, so I hope that puts you at ease. We’ve got a smut chapter, a fluff chapter (or two), and then we’re moving on to story.  
> Also, guess who finished Chapter 1 of Book 2… me… I did. And it’s 23 pages long lol.  
> I’ve been thinking that I might go back and edit this book slowly. I won’t change anything that significantly alters the story but I feel like my writing style has changed/improved since I started and there were DEFINITELY some cringey parts at the beginning lol. Second-hand embarrassment FOR REAL.  
> And can we appreciate that we’re at 50 CHAPTERS. I honestly never thought I would make it this far. Before I started this fic I had a horrible habit of getting about 20,000 words in and then losing motivation. But this fic is almost to 200,000! I can’t even comprehend that.  
> Y’all know the drill with comments. LEAVE ONE. That’s all I’ll say for this chapter lol. I give a speech about comments in pretty much every single A/N so I think y’all get it by now.  
> P.S. Thank you to everyone who’s been wishing me luck in school… I love you.


	51. Chapter 51

WARNING: SMUT. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

“Aubrey.”  
Erwin looked up from his desk as his door opened and both Levi and Aubrey stepped through. Their hands were locked and Levi held the tray of tea in his free arm. Aubrey still looked unnaturally happy.  
“Hi, Erwin.”  
She turned and shut the door behind them as Levi set the tea down on the table.  
As soon as Aubrey turned back around, she started on the tea. She poured a cup for Levi, handed it to him, and then poured two more for herself and Erwin, adding the milk and sugar.  
She carried the cup to Erwin, setting it in front of him before scanning the stack of paperwork. She’d promised to help him.  
Most of it looked like the usual. Formation plans, squad assignments, evaluations, a few letters from generals in the Garrison and the Military Police. There was a small pile that looked related to the recent expedition but Aubrey didn’t dare to let her eyes linger on it. Instead, she looked at the one stack that seemed unfamiliar. She picked up the top sheet of paper.  
“What’s this?”  
Erwin took a sip of his tea before answering.  
“Ah, do you remember that fundraiser I told you about a few nights ago?”  
At first, Aubrey remembered no such thing but then the memory came flooding back. Erwin had mentioned it in passing the night before the expedition.  
Aubrey nodded.  
“Yes, vaguely.”  
Erwin hummed.  
“Well, it appears that there may be more in it than I originally thought. There’ll be some very important people there. And I happen to know that some of them are eager to support the regiment; a Lord with a son who was a Scout in his younger years.”  
Aubrey raised her eyes.  
“Hm. Do we know how eager they are to support the regiment?”  
Erwin chuckled. She wanted to know just how much money the Lord was willing to give.  
“From what I understand, very.”  
Aubrey smiled and dropped the piece of paper back into its pile.  
“Good.”  
Erwin chuckled as she reached for a pile of the formation plans. She’d done those before. It would be easy.  
She went around the desk, standing next to Erwin as she pulled open a drawer and took out a spare quill and some ink. She made her way back to the couch, plopping down beside Levi and pulling the table closer so that she could write.  
She started writing and out of the corner of her eye she saw Levi reach for his teacup but she didn’t pay much attention. She was already scribbling away.  
She’d just barely managed to fill out the first box when she felt a hand on her thigh.  
She looked over to see Levi staring at her.  
“Oi…”  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed.  
“What?”  
Levi turned his eyes back to his teacup.  
“You should make this more often.”  
Aubrey laughed and Erwin joined.  
She leaned in and put a kiss on his cheek. He’d obviously been caught off-guard by her tea-making abilities.  
“Sure thing.”  
She smiled as she turned back to her paperwork. She’d make him some tomorrow morning before they left for town.  
Aubrey went back to writing as Levi took another sip of tea but there was a thought poking at her mind.  
The mention of the fundraiser combined with the paperwork in front of her had made her think about the future of the regiment.  
“Do you have your eyes on any of the recruits from the next Training Corps class?”  
Erwin raised his eyes to look at her and grinned.  
“There’s a few, a boy named Eld that looks particularly good. But, honestly, I usually don’t try to ‘recruit’ individuals.”  
Aubrey raised a brow.  
“You tried to recruit me.”  
Erwin nodded.  
“Yes, you were an exception. I had to try.”  
Aubrey snickered as she turned back to her paper.  
“Well, I guess you got lucky, huh? You already had me.”  
Erwin laughed.  
“Yes, that was certainly a piece of good luck.”  
“You were recruited?”  
Aubrey turned to see Levi with a brow raised. His teacup was almost empty.  
She smiled and nodded.  
“Yes, I was first in my class.”  
Aubrey winked at him and he rolled his eyes.  
She chuckled at his reaction and poured some more tea in his cup without him even having to ask.  
“First by far I might add.”  
Erwin returned his attention to his paperwork as he spoke.  
Aubrey laughed again.  
“Well, they didn’t know it but I’d had a lot more practice than them.”  
The air in the room shifted and everything suddenly seemed awkward and cold. The mention of her past had ruined the mood.  
Aubrey didn’t feel upset herself but she knew that the topic still bothered Erwin and every time her father was brought up Levi clenched his fists like he was going to punch something.  
She sighed. They’d have to get over that. She’d told them so that it could start to be… less taboo.  
But that could wait. For now, she’d just switch the subject.  
Aubrey pulled a piece of paperwork from her pile and set it in front of Levi.  
“Here, make yourself useful.”  
Levi glared at her.  
“I don’t know how to do that shit.”  
Aubrey glared back at him.  
“Well that’s why I’m going to teach you. Besides, if you’re ever going to make your way up to captain you’ll have to know.”  
Aubrey laughed at her own words. But, even if she was joking, she had to admit that he’d make a great captain one day. He was a natural leader.  
Levi grunted.  
“I don’t want to be one of your shitty captains.”  
Aubrey took his hand and shoved the quill into his fingers.  
“Too bad.”  
Levi glared at her again but he didn’t object. Maybe he didn’t mind the idea of being a captain as much as he let on. Or maybe he was just bored.  
Aubrey started with her lesson immediately.  
She gestured to the different boxes, explaining what numbers to match, copy, and verify. Most of the paperwork Erwin did was tedious and time-consuming. It wasn’t hard, just necessary and annoying.  
When she’d finished she looked to Levi, expecting him to object or say something snarky. But, to her surprise, he just grunted, took another sip of his tea, and followed her instruction.  
Aubrey stared at him for a few more seconds, grinning, and then filled his cup again before returning to her own work.  
They worked for what must have been the better part of an hour. Erwin asked how they were liking the Commander’s Suite and Levi muttered something about it having too many bookshelves. Aubrey had just smacked him on the shoulder and told Erwin it was perfect.  
They talked a bit more about their plans for going into town and Aubrey resolved to buy Erwin some more ink when she pulled the last pot from his desk.  
Eventually, the stacks of paperwork diminished into nothing and it was time to go.  
Aubrey stood, stretching her muscles before dropping the last piece of paper onto Erwin’s ‘complete’ pile. They’d gotten through all of it.  
“There, I think we managed to help a little.”  
Erwin laughed at her understatement.  
“Yes, just a little.”  
Aubrey nodded, satisfied with their work.  
“Well, I think we’ll turn in for the night, then.”  
Aubrey started to turn back to Levi but Erwin stopped her.  
“Oh, before you go, I have some paperwork for you.”  
Aubrey twisted back to him, her brows already furrowed.  
“For me?”  
Erwin nodded again but the smile had disappeared from his face. Aubrey felt a flicker of worry in her chest.  
She watched as he opened the bottom drawer of his desk and delicately pulled out the paper he’d been referring to. Aubrey suddenly felt Levi by her side, his hand finding hers. He must have sensed the tension, too.  
Erwin handed her his quill and she took it hesitantly as he turned the paper to face her.  
Aubrey glanced down at it but Erwin started to explain before she could even begin to read.  
“It’s the finalization of your name change.”  
Aubrey’s eyes flashed to his immediately and she squeezed Levi’s hand.  
Erwin continued.  
“I know I told you it was done and that was true, all records of your name have been changed to Hilmar. But I need you to sign this as proof of your signature. With your real name.”  
Aubrey felt Levi let go of her for just a second as he moved behind her. One of his hands pressed into her lower back and the other twined with her fingers again. She was grateful for his touch.  
Erwin pointed to a blank line at the bottom of the paper.  
“Whenever you’re ready, sign here.”  
Aubrey squeezed Levi’s hand and he pressed into her the tiniest bit more. This was the first time she would have to write her name, her real name, in years. It was surreal, strange, horrifying. But it was also exciting. She knew that there would be a peace in her mind as soon as she’d done it. It was the ultimate act of freedom from her old life. The life in which she hid who she was, hid from her father, hid from her feelings. That was over.  
Aubrey raised her hand, the quill steadier than she would have thought. She dipped it into the ink and paused for just a second before bringing it to the paper.  
She took a deep breath. 

Aubrey Hilmar 

Aubrey set the quill to the side slowly as she stared at her name. It was so familiar, yet somehow still so foreign. But most of all… it was freeing. She smiled.  
Aubrey let out a breath and stepped back. Levi put a steadying hand on her waist but she knew she didn’t need it. If anything, she felt empowered, legitimized.  
Erwin reached for the paper and quickly tucked it back into his desk. It was done now. Really, truly done.  
Erwin sighed and smiled up at Aubrey. He was surprised to see her smiling right back.  
“That’s all I’ve got for you. Well done, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey looked him in the eyes and had the sudden urge to hug him. She moved forward and around his desk before wrapping her arms around his neck.  
Erwin froze for a second, he hadn't been expecting her embrace, but he soon pulled her close. Aubrey stayed there for a moment, grinning, and then placed a kiss on his cheek as she moved away.  
“Thank you, Erwin.”  
He smiled softly.  
“Of course.”  
Aubrey touched his cheek one last time before she moved back around the desk and took Levi’s hand.  
“Do you want me to take the tea?”  
Erwin shook his head.  
“No, I’ll get it.”  
Aubrey nodded and headed for the door.  
She put her hand on the knob and turned back for one last glance.  
“Goodnight, Erwin.”  
“Goodnight, Aubrey. Sleep well.”  
Aubrey saw Levi and Erwin exchange nods and she couldn’t help but smile. They were moving on.  
She tugged on Levi’s hand one last time and the door closed behind them.  
As soon as the lock clicked, Aubrey pulled him close and kissed him. She was feeling invigorated, free, like a new person.  
Levi tried to keep their kiss slow but he’d been suppressing the hunger in his gut all day. And now they were finally alone. But she’d just done something intense, something that had probably left her in pain or at least made her uncomfortable. He couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like to sign a name she’d hidden for so long, that had caused her so much torment.  
So he broke away.  
“Aubrey-”  
He could barely get her name out before her lips hit his again. He suppressed his surprise and pulled away again.  
“Oi, are you alright?”  
Aubrey stopped her kisses and instead dragged him into a hug, her arms wrapping around his neck.  
She leaned in to whisper in his ear.  
“I’m fine, Levi. If anything, I’m more than fine. Signing was… liberating.”  
He moved away to look at her, examining her expression. What she’d said was true. She looked… excited.  
Levi arched an eyebrow, quickly catching on to her mood and speaking with a teasing tone.  
“Really?”  
Aubrey giggled and threw herself at him again. She made an effort to stay quiet; they were still right outside Erwin’s office.  
“Yes. Now you have me. No more symbolic ‘Daremo’ shit. Just me.”  
Levi gripped her jaw and pulled her lips closer.  
“You know, your mouth is getting pretty filthy.”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes and smirked at him.  
“Hmm, maybe I should spend some time with a better influence.”  
Levi tugged her even closer, his arm wrapping around her waist as he pressed her against him.  
Aubrey saw a sly smile on his lips.  
“I’m not sure I like that idea.”  
Aubrey giggled again. She couldn’t believe he was playing along with her.  
She stared up at him.  
“Well, I think I might have an idea you will like.”  
Levi tilted his head to the side.  
“And what would that be?”  
Aubrey smirked at him.  
“I think you should take me back home.”  
Levi gave her a crooked smile and brought his mouth even closer to hers. Their lips were practically brushing as he spoke.  
“Mm, I think I do like that idea.”  
Levi lifted her off the ground and Aubrey struggled to keep her laugh quiet as he carried her away.  
Levi twisted through the hallways but found the trip back to their room exceedingly difficult. Aubrey kept nipping at his jaw and leaving small bites down his neck. She was driving him just as crazy as ever.  
Eventually, their door came into sight and Levi pushed it open with much more force than necessary.  
Aubrey giggled again as he kicked it shut behind them and then set her down as he slid the lock into place.  
Aubrey only had to wait a second before his arms wrapped around her from behind and she laughed when she heard him mutter an annoyed “finally” into her ear.  
His lips instantly went to her neck as his hands slid over her shoulders and dropped her uniform jacket to the ground. She heard her 3DMG clatter to the ground next and then his fingers quickly went to the buckles of her straps, undoing them easily without even having to look.  
When he’d done all he could from behind, his hands went to her hips and he twisted her to face him. His mouth went back to her skin and he continued to undo her buckles.  
“Fucking gear.”  
Aubrey snickered at his eagerness but her hands went to his chest and she tugged at his jacket until he moved his arms away from her straps just long enough for her to remove it.  
She unhooked his own gear and then started on his buckles as he was finishing up with hers.  
Levi had her step out of her boots and then he slid the straps off the bottoms of her feet, tossing them aimlessly across the room.  
He stood back up immediately, kicking off his shoes as Aubrey worked on the buckles near his hips. He joined her and then, after another minute, he was free of all his equipment.  
Without a second of hesitation, Levi lifted Aubrey from the floor and eagerly tossed her onto the bed. She giggled again as the mattress bounced beneath but her laugh hardly lasted for more than a couple of seconds before Levi crawled over her and put his lips on hers.  
Aubrey reached into his hair, grasping at him desperately. She may have been the one to do the teasing today, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t affected her, too.  
She pulled him in closer, deeping their kiss as much as she could before Levi forced her tongue back and took control.  
Aubrey squirmed as Levi pulled his hand down her side, feeling her body through her clothing. He moved slowly, savoring the feeling of every curve, twist, and bend. He could hardly believe she was real.  
Levi felt her arch her back when he reached the seam of her shirt but he had no intention of removing it just yet. His hand slipped beneath the fabric and he ran his hand up her stomach and grabbed at her breast. She gasped and broke away from their kiss.  
Levi didn’t mind. He had plenty of places for his lips to attend to.  
His mouth went down her neck, nipping and biting lightly, though he was careful not to leave any marks. They’d had enough trouble with that already. When he got all the way down to her shoulder he dragged his tongue along her collarbone until he finally hit her sensitive spot.  
Aubrey yelped and gripped his hair even tighter as he started to nibble and bite at the mark he’d already left the night before. The sensation left her writhing around, desperate for more.  
She slid her hands out of his hair and dragged them down his back, tugging on him until he had almost his full weight on her. He was still too far away. She wanted him closer.  
Levi grunted when she pulled him down.  
When she was satisfied with that, she slowly moved her hand around his torso, pressing her fingers into the hard muscles of his abdomen. She paused for just a second and then slid further down, pressing and moving her palm against the bulge in his pants.  
Levi sucked in a sharp breath and then emitted a noise halfway between a groan and a growl. She was getting more confident with her actions each time they were together. She was making him go insane.  
He couldn’t take it.  
He pulled out of Aubrey’s grip and moved away in a flash. He only got to see her shocked expression for a second before he reached beneath her and flipped her onto her stomach.  
Aubrey squealed as he practically manhandled her. He’d never been quite so assertive and she hadn’t been expecting it.  
Levi’s hands went to her shirt, pushing the hem up to expose as much skin as possible while he crawled over her.  
Aubrey squirmed when his lips hit her spine. She was sure he was going for the spot that he’d discovered that morning. She was right.  
As soon as he got there, she started writhing around and a shudder went through her whole body. She wailed but Levi’s knees stopped her hips from shifting too much and he’d moved his hands to the backs of her arms to hold her still.  
Aubrey felt his tongue and teeth hit the spot over and over again and each time she whimpered as her body writhed around instinctively.  
Levi stayed there until he’d managed to calm himself somewhat. If he was going to succeed with what he was planning, he’d have to keep himself under control. Especially when he had the habit of giving Aubrey whatever she asked for.  
Finally, he gave one last scrape of his teeth and he felt Aubrey squirm beneath him.  
He sat up, flipping Aubrey onto her back again before he kissed her.  
Her lips moved weakly at first, still a bit shocked by the sudden change but she quickly recovered. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled him closer. But when she went to slide her hand over his chest, she realized that both of them were still completely clothed.  
That wouldn’t do. She wanted to feel his skin.  
Aubrey bunched the fabric of Levi’s shirt in her fingers and tugged.  
Levi broke away just long enough to get the cloth out of the way and he was back on her lips so quickly that he didn’t even see her toss it to the ground.  
Aubrey ran her hands over Levi’s bare abdomen as he reached for her own shirt. He yanked, Aubrey lifted her arms, and it was off in a second.  
She moved to go back to his lips but she was surprised when she saw Levi moving behind her, pressing his back into the headboard and pulling her into his lap. Aubrey stared back at him with furrowed brows. They certainly were doing a lot of moving around tonight.  
But Aubrey barely had time to take in Levi’s expression before she felt his legs go over the tops of hers, twisting around her thighs and pushing apart at her ankles.  
Aubrey’s eyes widened as she watched Levi spread her legs apart and felt his lips on her back again. He hit the spot and she shivered.  
“Levi?”  
Aubrey had no idea what he was about to do.  
She didn’t have to wait long to find out.  
Levi’s hand slid beneath her waistband, beneath the fabric of her underwear, and suddenly he was pressing down between her legs.  
Aubrey wailed and squirmed around. Now she knew why he’d restrained her legs.  
His lips continued to hit the spot on her back as his fingers moved and Aubrey continued to writhe around at his touch. She gripped at Levi’s thighs and barely even noticed when he unhooked her bra.  
The hand that wasn’t working between her legs went to her chest and Aubrey gasped as her body started to shake. He had her moving so quickly. The unexpectedness and intensity of his actions had her on the edge already. She could feel herself rising close to her peak and she leaned into Levi as she started to go limp.  
But he stopped.  
Aubrey felt Levi’s hand slide out from beneath her waistband and she both gasped and groaned.  
He’d stopped?  
Aubrey turned desperate, trying to twist around to face him even though he still had her legs restrained.  
“Levi, why di-”  
She didn’t even get time to finish her sentence before Levi had her on her back again. Aubrey groaned as she felt her high slipping further away with every passing second.  
Levi put his lips back on hers and she realized that they’d have to start all over again.  
Aubrey broke away.  
“Levi, why did you stop?!”  
Levi moved his lips down her stomach and he smirked as his hands went to yank on her waistband.  
“I don’t know what you mean.”  
Aubrey looked down at him in horror. She knew what he was doing. He was teasing her. She should have known. She’d teased him the whole day and now he was paying her back.  
Aubrey whined as Levi pulled her pants off her.  
All she could do was hope that one round of teasing had been enough for him.  
Levi tugged her underwear off just a few seconds later and Aubrey wiggled around as he hovered over her again. His mouth found her neck. She hardly even cared anymore. Her legs tightened around his knee but he instantly moved it away and left her completely without any sort of friction.  
“Levi!”  
He still didn’t move from her neck.  
Aubrey whimpered in total frustration but an idea soon came to her mind. She was sure he’d deny her again if he got the chance, so she’d just have to make him eager enough that he couldn’t wait.  
Aubrey moved her hands to the buttons of his pants and managed to get one undone before all hope slipped away and Levi disappeared from her neck.  
His arms locked around her thighs instantly and before she knew it, he had his mouth between her legs.  
Aubrey screamed again, completely unable to contain herself.  
He was going to push her and then leave her right on the edge again, she knew it. And yet, she still held the tiniest glimmer of hope that maybe one round had been enough for him, that he’d give in and give up on his plans.  
She moved her hands into his hair, gripping and tugging as his tongue was joined by his fingers.  
He had her shaking again in no time at all.  
Aubrey felt it coming and decided it was now or never if she was going to ask for what she wanted.  
“Please, Levi. Not again…”  
Levi felt a twang in his gut but he’d been preparing for this. Just once, he wasn’t going to give her what she wanted.  
He kept pushing, feeling the shake in her body grow stronger by the second. Her moans turned more desperate, more helpless, and her fingers twisted even tighter against his scalp.  
He could feel her trying to hold his head in place but her strength had left her some time ago and the pressure she was putting on him was barely more than a light touch.  
Levi felt her muscles tensing and with one last surge of his own willpower, he pulled away from her.  
Aubrey screamed again but it wasn’t from pleasure. He’d done exactly what she’d feared he would and left her on the edge. Again.  
She felt tears in her eyes and she whimpered as Levi crawled back over her, wiping his lips.  
When Levi saw the look of torture on her face he almost regretted not giving in. He knew it was time to give her what she wanted. He’d teased her enough.  
Levi brought his hands to his waistband and Aubrey joined him, yanking at the fabric eagerly. He snickered but allowed her to help.  
His pants slid down his legs and Aubrey already had his underwear halfway off before he was able to assist her.  
Finally, all clothing was removed and Levi didn’t waste any time.  
His hands went to her knees, spreading her legs gently and then, just a few seconds later, he was inside her.  
Aubrey groaned more than gasped this time. The pain she’d once felt had nearly completely disappeared.  
She grabbed at Levi’s arm and yanked him on top of her, finding his lips. Her legs wrapped around his back and Levi grunted into her mouth as she pulled him even closer.  
Aubrey broke away again, biting at his jaw.  
“Please… Levi…”  
She didn’t have to ask twice.  
Levi’s hand slid down her side as he started to rock their hips and Aubrey threw her head back the second he pressed down between her legs.  
His lips found her neck again and Aubrey whimpered under his touch. She clawed at his back, sure that she was leaving scratches. She couldn’t help it. He was finally going to give her what she needed.  
Levi picked up their pace as he struggled to hold himself back. All of the pent up hunger of the day was taking over and he could barely control himself. And the way she was whimpering his name didn’t help, either.  
Levi’s fingers kept moving and Aubrey could feel her body starting to shake for the third time. Her breathing was totally erratic and all she could do was let out shaky moans as Levi continued to push her.  
Aubrey could feel Levi’s own body starting to tense just as she was starting to reach the edge and she knew that he was holding back for her.  
Luckily, Levi shifted his fingers one last time and Aubrey cried out as she finally reached the high he’d denied her for so long. Her body practically convulsed against her will as wave after wave of pleasure overtook her.  
As soon as Levi heard her cry he let himself go and collapsed, shifting so that he wouldn’t crush her.  
Aubrey used all of her strength to wrap her arms around Levi’s neck as he laid on top of her. She kept her legs on his back as they both caught their breath. Aubrey could hardly believe what he’d just done. She’d never expected that Levi would throw her teasing back at her in such a way. But then again, perhaps the hungry look in his eyes should have warned her.  
“I… can’t believe… you did that.”  
Aubrey spoke between pants. She still hadn’t caught her breath.  
Levi huffed into the skin of her neck.  
“I could… do it again… if you’d like.”  
“Shut it.”  
Aubrey smacked his shoulder but couldn’t stop a smile from forming on her lips. When had his comments gotten so… racy?  
He huffed another small laugh and then Aubrey felt his lips on her neck, his touch gentle and light. She savored the softness of the action after the intensity of what they’d just done. She enjoyed the sweetness Levi showed her when they were done almost as much as the act itself.  
She ran her fingers through his hair, wondering how it could always be so soft and perfect. Somehow, he always managed to be stunning. Even while panting.  
They stayed there for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s closeness and savoring the silence. It was a calm moment in their action-packed lives.  
Eventually, Aubrey decided she wanted a little more. She missed his lips already.  
“Levi.”  
“Hm?”  
Aubrey ran her fingers through his hair one last time and then cupped his chin, raising his eyes to look at her.  
She smiled at him.  
“Kiss me, please.”  
Aubrey’s smile turned to a grin when she saw a smile on Levi’s own lips. She loved when he smiled. Usually, it was only for her.  
Levi didn’t hesitate to give her what she’d asked for. He brought his mouth to hers and kissed her gently, propping himself up on an elbow and bringing a hand to her cheek.  
Aubrey ran her fingers over the muscles of his back, tracing every line she found. There was no shortage of them.  
Levi had to break away every so often to let both of them catch their breath but he always went back. He wouldn’t stop until she told him to.  
Aubrey held onto him for a long while, never wanting to let go.  
But, eventually, even Levi’s little breaks weren’t enough and she knew that if they didn’t stop, she’d be back to panting in no time.  
So, reluctantly, she tucked her chin into Levi’s neck and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as his lips went back to her the skin of her collarbone.  
Aubrey sighed as her mind swirled. She never thought she’d find this place in life. She never thought she’d care for someone the way she cared for Levi. He consumed her every thought, every day. It had been that way since the second she’d seen him on that training field, scowling and looking like he was out to snap at anyone who dared to look at him. She could remember that very first moment they’d touched and she’d felt the fire that was now a regular part of her life. She could remember those first days when she’d shown him the pond. When he’d nearly kissed her outside the Mess Hall. When she’d become so attached to him that they’d promised to just be friends. When, despite that promise, she’d only fallen for him faster. When they’d taken their nightly walks and she’d shown him the stars under the cover of a flimsy blanket. When the expedition had forced her to face her feelings and she’d found him without hesitation. When he’d told her he loved her for the first time. When he’d touched her under the moonlight at the pond. When the expedition had made her realize that he’d become her whole world and that she’d never be able to live without him. 

When she knew that she’d found the only person that could ever make her feel… at peace.

Aubrey felt tears in her eyes as her mind played the same thoughts and memories on repeat. She loved him. She loved him more than anything.  
The first tear slid down her cheek, landing on Levi’s shoulder as her chest began to shake. She tried to hold him tighter even as he pulled back to look at her face.  
His brows furrowed instantly when he saw her, his hand coming to her cheek as he looked into her eyes.  
“Aubrey...” Levi's voice was low, soft, barely above a whisper and filled with concern. “What’s wrong?”  
Aubrey reached for his face, staring at him as she memorized every feature. She never wanted to forget a single detail.  
Her chest shook again and she barely managed to speak. Even when she did, her words were shaky, uneven, and riddled with emotion.  
“Do you know how much I love you?”  
Levi leaned closer to her, his hand stroking her cheek.  
“What?” His own voice was starting to shake.  
Aubrey gazed into his eyes, able to make out their striking silver color even through her tears.  
“I love you so much, I love you so much, so much.”  
Levi froze for a moment as he realized what was going on and then pressed his lips to hers, holding back his own waves of emotion.  
He broke away after a few seconds, trying to respond.  
“I know… I know… I know…” Levi put his lips all over her face, speaking between kisses. “I know.”  
Aubrey heard a sob escape her and Levi’s hands wrapped around her back immediately, sitting her up and pulling her into his lap. She grabbed at him, holding him so tightly that she was sure it must be hurting him. He didn’t say a word. He just ran his lips over any skin he could find, continuing to whispering “I love you” as he went.  
Aubrey couldn’t do anything to stop the sobs from overtaking her. All she could think about was how far they’d come, how hard they’d worked to get to where they were. The pain, the bliss, the confusion, the thrill, the suffering, the comfort… all of it was a part of what they were. And all of it was all a part of what had made her love him.  
Aubrey cried into his shoulder until she had no tears left to shed. Her breathing steadied ever so slowly as Levi ran his hand up and down her bare back, soothing her as best he could. She was just about to look at him when she felt his fingers on her chin, tilting her head up.  
Aubrey stared at him again, unable to do anything but mouth another “I love you”.  
Levi’s brow furrowed and he kissed her again, pulling her as close as he could.  
When he broke away, he pressed his forehead to hers, hoping that she knew he understood, that he knew what she was trying to express. He felt the same way.  
“Aubrey...” Levi paused when he heard just how hoarse his voice had become. The lump in his throat was making it hard to speak. But he went on anyway. “I know.”  
Aubrey squeezed her eyes as a last tear rolled down her cheek.  
Levi kissed it away.  
“I love you, too. And… ” He paused. He was only just starting to get used to words. It was still a struggle, but he thought he knew what she needed to hear. “I want you to know… I always will.”  
He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her from the bed and carrying her to the bathroom where he knew he’d tell her those same words until she really, truly knew he meant them. For as long as she wanted him, he was hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all the fact that I went from being super nervous/blushing when I wrote smut to being able to write this stuff with a straight face is VERY concerning LOL. Anyway, this is last smut chapter for a while. There might be one at the very end, but it won’t be nearly as spicy lol.  
> I may or may not have listened to A Thousand Years (yes, the freaking Twilight song lol) while writing the end fluff and made myself cry. I hope it didn’t turn out too soppy/cheesy. The song mighta gotten me caught up in the moment, lol. Plus, I’m uploading this at 2am and I can proofread but my brain is unable to process *vibes* so I hope the vibe isn’t off, hah.  
> Also, Chapter 2 of Book 2 is almost done so I’m thinking that I’ll probably upload a few chapters right away when it comes out :)  
> Okay, the COMMENTS on the last chapter made my heart explode. THANK YOU. Y’all are so nice to me. Every time someone tells me they get excited when they see the notification that I’ve uploaded I cry a little bit. In a good way. Y’ALL ARE TOO SWEET. Plz keep leaving them thooooooo. They make me so happyyyyy :)


	52. Chapter 52

Aubrey woke first.  
And it was early. Very early. A quick glance out the window revealed that the sun was just beginning to rise.  
Aubrey blinked, trying to take in her surroundings. She still wasn’t used to waking up in this room. It left her feeling a little confused until she felt the warm body beside her and she remembered where she was.  
Levi’s arm hung loosely around her waist and his legs were twisted into hers. She’d been sleeping with her head pressed into his chest and her hand resting on his neck.  
Aubrey glanced at his face. He had the same peaceful look he’d had a couple of days ago and, once again, she couldn’t help but smile. It was amazing how young and he looked when he relaxed the usually hard lines of his features.  
Aubrey peeked again at the light trickling in through the window and realized that she could let him sleep for quite a bit longer. She’d make sure he got as much rest as possible. Even if she already missed him.  
She reached up, taking just a moment to brush his hair out of his eyes and trace his jaw. She couldn’t help herself.  
When she was done with that, she wiggled closer and placed a light kiss on his cheek before finally sliding away and off the bed.  
Her feet hit the cold floors and she stood, using the bedside table for support. But she soon found that walking wasn’t really going to be that hard. Maybe her body was getting used to it.  
She moved, a little shakily at first but then with more balance, toward the bathroom. Her eyes landed on the scattered clothing that had been tossed all across their room the night before. She smiled.  
Just like every night, Levi had taken her to the bath and washed her, but this time he’d whispered how much he loved her into her ear every few seconds. Aubrey had just run her fingers through his hair and traced his face, listening to every word he said and saving the memory away forever.  
Levi had kept her in the bath until the water had gone cold and then he’d found her a clean set of clothes and dressed her before changing the sheets and lying her down on the bed.  
He’d started another fire and then joined her, pulling her close and continuing with the whispered “I love you”s. Aubrey had held on to him like he could slip away at any moment.  
They’d stayed there like that for a long time. It had only been around 8 o’clock when they’d gotten back and neither of them had been tired enough to fall asleep yet.  
Aubrey’s mind had wandered, reliving their time together over and over again and cherishing it more each with every round of remembrance. But those memories had leaked into others and soon she wasn’t just remembering her time with Levi, but her time with Tika and Jack and even her time with her father. Surprisingly, the thoughts hadn’t made her upset… just… thoughtful. There was so much she’d yet to tell Levi, even if he knew the basics. But she wanted him to know more, she wanted him to know all of it. She wanted him to know her.  
So she’d told him.  
When she’d randomly asked him if he wanted to hear about her family, Levi had been surprised but he’d agreed immediately. Whatever she wanted to tell him, he was ready to hear.  
He’d listened carefully as she’d told him the names of her aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. She’d recounted all of the times they wronged her but also the times that a certain cousin of hers had treated her with the tiniest bits of kindness. Levi strongly doubted he’d ever meet her family but he’d filed away the cousin’s name, Finn, as the only person from her past that he should spare.  
She’d eventually moved on to her father, explaining more of the ways in which he’d tortured her. Levi had consciously needed to stop himself from breaking something.  
She’d gone deeper into her time in the Training Corps, describing how it had been both freeing and terrifying. She’d constantly been in fear of her father finding her. And yet, she’d found her friends and made a new family, forcing herself to be the opposite of what she’d been raised to be.  
Then she came to the loss of her friends. She described to Levi, in detail, exactly how they had died, exactly how she’d failed to protect them like she’d promised. A few tears had escaped her at that part but Levi had just kissed them away and held her tighter. He’d recognized the similarity between what had happened to her friends and what had happened to his. He knew her pain and she knew his.  
Finally her story had come to an end and Levi hadn’t hesitated to kiss her until they were both breathless. Aubrey had wrapped her arms around him and, as soon as they’d caught their breath… she’d asked him about his mother.  
Levi had frozen for a moment. Not because he didn’t want to tell her but because he’d never told anyone. It was a part of his past that he'd never dared to share. It made him feel… vulnerable.  
But Aubrey had sensed his discomfort and just a few strokes of her fingers on his cheek had convinced him to tell her.  
After a few deep breaths, he’d begun. He’d told her about the brothel that had been his home as a child. About how, even though they’d had nothing, his mother had always made him feel safe. He’d explained her death and Aubrey had shed a few tears for him when he’d described what it had been like to sit next to his mother’s corpse as he neared death himself. He’d moved on to his time with Kenny, telling her more about how he’d trained him, taken care of him, and then abandoned him without warning. He’d told her about how he’d made it on his own before Furlan had shown up and how they’d eventually formed a team. He’d spoken about how they’d met Isabel after she’d tried to return a trapped bird to the surface and gotten caught. Somehow, she’d found her way to Levi’s door and he and Furlan had scared away her attackers. And, somehow, she’d convinced them to let her join their group. He continued by telling Aubrey about their time together, going so far as to tell her about specific jobs they’d taken. Finally, he recounted their secret job that had brought them to the surface in the first place and then went on to describe their confrontation with Erwin and his squad. Aubrey had shivered when he’d told her about the way they’d been captured. It had upset her to know just how harsh Erwin had been with them. But Levi had quickly moved on and soon he’d reached the day they’d met.  
Aubrey had expected him to stop there but he’d continued. She’d stared at him wide-eyed as he’d explained the sabotage he’d been planning against Erwin. The way he’d been planning to steal the documents, to kill him, and then to flee. Aubrey hadn’t known what to say. But she hadn’t had to speak. Levi had turned into her and softly told her that she’d tortured him the whole time he’d been plotting. He’d said that he’d fallen for her so much that he hadn’t been sure he’d be able to go through with his plan. That’s why he’d set their boundaries, why he’d said they should just be friends. He’d told her that even as he’d left Isabel and Furlan to carry out his task and end Erwin’s life, he’d known his heart wasn't in, that he’d hoped she would somehow forgive him… that she’d still love him.  
Aubrey had cried again, gripping him as tightly as she could and telling him that she’d love him forever, no matter what. She’d known that if he’d killed Erwin… maybe she’d never have been able to forgive him. But she’d always love him.  
Eventually, Aubrey’s tears had dried and Levi had pulled her in close, whispering more reassurances in her ear. It hadn’t taken them long for the day to catch up with them and, soon after, they’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms.  
It had been another hard night. Levi had woken several times, shaking or sobbing from the thoughts that had crept in during the night. Aubrey had just held him to her, whispering that it was alright, that he would be okay, that she loved him. He’d gotten through it eventually.  
But now, he was sleeping again. And peacefully from the looks of it. Aubrey glanced at his face one last time as she walked into the bathroom. He still looked calm. Good. He needed to rest.  
Aubrey shook her head as she finally shut the bathroom door behind her, trying to clear her head of the lingering seriousness of their night. Today was their day in town. They were going to have fun, be happy. She was going to make Levi tea, hold his hand, buy him a present. What they’d discussed last night was important but that was the past… now they needed to enjoy the present.  
Aubrey looked in the mirror, resolving to make their day the best it could be. And she knew exactly where to start.  
She turned on the water, washing her face and brushing her teeth before running a comb through her hair. When she’d finished there, she went to the box of her clothes in the main room, careful to move quietly. She rummaged through it until she found the nicest outfit she owned. It still wasn’t much different than her other leisure clothing but the pants were a higher quality and the shirt was a little silkier than the rest of what she had. It wasn’t much… but maybe Levi would like it.  
She dressed quickly and threw on her boots with a bit of reluctance. She didn’t have Levi there to lace them up for her.  
Finally, after a few minutes, she got the shoes on and stood, taking one last glance at Levi’s sleeping form. She was worried that he’d wake while she was gone or that he’d have another bout of shivering and she wouldn’t be there to comfort him. Aubrey paused, trying to find a solution of some sort. After just a few seconds, it came to her.  
Aubrey crept into the study, once again feeling overwhelmed by the amount of bookshelves they had to fill. Maybe she’d have to buy a book or two in town. They had to start somewhere.  
She moved to the desk, hoping she’d find what she was looking for. She opened the top drawer and smiled when she saw a few blank sheets of paper along with a quill and some ink. She pulled out the materials she needed and started to write.  
Levi,  
I’ve just gone down to the kitchen to get a few things. I’ll be back soon. Then we can get ready for town.  
I love you,  
Aubrey  
Aubrey put the quill and ink back in the drawer and then returned to the main room. She set the letter on the bed next to Levi. Hopefully he’d see it if he woke up.  
There was just one last thing to do. Aubrey scanned the room, finding her stachel on the ground in the corner of the room. It was empty now. Everything in it had already been pulled out and used.  
Aubrey quickly picked it up and then headed for the door, giving Levi one last look before she left. Still asleep.  
She smiled and quietly stepped out of the room.  
She hurried through the halls of the castle, moving at a pace somewhere between a walk and a run. There was no one up yet; it was still just barely past sunrise. Plus, it was Sunday.  
She made it to the Mess Hall in no time at all and moved through it to get to the kitchen. When she finally burst through the door she saw the familiar faces of the cooks that prepared breakfast every morning. Just as they always did, they gave her a nod and then went back to their work.  
Aubrey started immediately. She gathered some fruit, some spices, and a few vegetables. But what she really wanted would be a little harder to get to. Aubrey crept into the pantry, making sure that no one was looking as she moved to the back and dug the key to the Officer’s Pantry out of its hiding spot. Erwin had revealed its place to her once when he’d come down to the kitchen for some kind of alcohol after a long day. She’d just laughed at him when he’d reached for the whiskey and immediately turned back around. But, thanks to that experience, she had access to all of the good food she wanted.  
The Officers’s Pantry was a second, locked room, at the back of the regular pantry. Luckily, the regular pantry was already hidden enough that no one could see her. She didn’t think the cooks would say anything if they saw her in the Officer’s Pantry but… better safe than sorry. She kept quiet as she put the key in the lock and carefully swung the door open. She smiled as soon as she was inside.  
Aubrey already knew what she was looking for and it didn’t take her long to find the ice box. She opened it, grinning even wider when she saw eggs, cheese, and a little bit of bacon. She grabbed them, gently placed them in the satchel, and then moved out of the Officer’s Pantry. She locked the door, hid the key, and then moved back out to the kitchen. She just had one last thing to get.  
Aubrey moved to a familiar cabinet, opening it and pulling out a whole jar of tea leaves. There were plenty more. Nobody would notice its absence.  
Finally, Aubrey took one last glance around. Not a single person was even looking at her.  
She smiled again and moved out of the kitchen silently.  
She weaved through the Mess Hall and was soon back in the corridors of the castle, again moving at a brisk pace.  
Soon, she saw the door to their room come back into sight and she slowed her pace as she gently turned the knob. She didn’t want to wake Levi if he was still sleeping.  
Aubrey pushed inside, cringing when the hinges squeaked even though she was going slow.  
But it didn’t really matter. Levi was already sitting up in the bed, the letter in his hands as his eyes raised to look at her.  
Aubrey smiled, excited that he was awake. She’d wanted him to sleep but every moment he was unconscious was a moment she had to go without him.  
She shut the door behind her.  
“Good morning.”  
Levi looked at her through half-lidded eyes. He was obviously still drowsy.  
“You left?”  
Levi’s voice was rough and low and Aubrey guessed that he must have woken up just minutes before she’d returned.  
She smiled and walked into the kitchen, setting all of her ingredients on the counter as she called back to him.  
“Yes, I thought we could have breakfast here today.”  
There was a pause and then Levi finally called back to her.  
“Aubrey.”  
Aubrey halted when she heard the serious tone of his voice. She quickly walked out of the kitchen, her brows furrowed as she studied him. He didn’t look distressed or like he was in pain. What had the tone been about?  
Levi reached his arms out toward her.  
“Come here.”  
Aubrey laughed as she realized what he wanted. He was upset that he hadn’t gotten to hold her yet. Levi wanted to cuddle.  
Without hesitation, she bounced over to him, crawling onto the bed and into his arms. She giggled when he immediately pushed her back into the mattress and his head went to her chest, his ear over her heart. His arms wrapped around her and Aubrey heard him take a deep breath as he closed his eyes.  
She smiled again and ran her fingers through his hair, trying to hold in another elated giggle. She couldn’t believe he’d called her over just to hold her.  
“How do you like your eggs?”  
Levi’s brow furrowed but his eyes didn’t open. He mumbled his response into her shirt.  
“What?”  
Aubrey couldn’t contain her laugh this time.  
“I got us eggs for breakfast. How do you want me to make them?”  
Levi grunted. He didn’t really care about eggs right now. Aubrey’s shirt was even softer than usual and the heat from her skin was so comforting that he knew he’d fall right back to sleep if he wasn’t careful.  
“I don’t fucking know. However you want.”  
Aubrey’s chest shook and Levi pressed further into her.  
“Oi, quit laughing.”  
Aubrey did her best to keep her breaths steady. He clearly wasn’t a fan of lying on an unsteady surface.  
“Okay, well, we’re having omelets, then.”  
Levi sighed. He still hardly cared about the eggs. She was too warm.  
“Fine.”  
Aubrey could tell he wasn’t all that concerned about their breakfast but she wanted to start getting ready for the day.  
She slid her fingers out of his hair but didn’t get very far before Levi caught her wrist and brought her hand back to his head.  
“Not yet.”  
Aubrey focused hard on keeping her breathing stable. He hadn’t been a fan of her giggling.  
She put her fingers back in his hair, combing through the strands and occasionally pausing to massage his scalp. She knew Levi must have liked it because he sighed every few seconds.  
But after a few minutes, Aubrey knew they needed to move. Otherwise they’d never leave the bed and their plans to visit town would be ruined.  
She brought her hand to Levi’s chin, raising his eyes to hers.  
“Can I get up now?”  
Levi features twisted into a scowl. He wasn’t ready to move at all… but he knew it was time to get ready for their trip.  
“Fine.”  
Finally, Aubrey was able to laugh at him again and she leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to his lips. She pulled away quickly, knowing that Levi might hold her there if she let him.  
“Get dressed. I’m gonna start on the food.”  
Aubrey turned and slid off the bed before he could say anything that might convince her to stay.  
She went back to the kitchen, lighting a fire in the stove and seeing that there was a kettle already out. Levi must have used it when he made her tea yesterday.  
Aubrey smiled as she refilled it with water and left it to warm.  
She moved on to looking through the cabinets, relieved to find that they were still stocked with all of the pots, pans, and utensils she could ever need. She pulled out what she needed and set a pan on the stove.  
As she continued to work, she heard the sound of running water in the bathroom. She grinned. Levi was getting up.  
Aubrey kept working on the food, slicing, chopping, and stirring until she had the bacon done, the fruit on the plate, and the eggs were in the pan. She was just about to prepare the tea leaves when she heard the floorboards creak and felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind.  
She sighed when she felt Levi’s lips on her neck.  
“Hi.”  
Levi just hummed into her skin in response.  
Aubrey just kept working as Levi stayed at her neck. It was more than a little distracting but she still managed to get things done in a relatively short amount of time. After just a few minutes she had to move out of Levi’s grip to go to the stove and she turned to kiss his cheek before she went.  
She heard him grunt in annoyance but she just chuckled at him and got back to work.  
The kettle started to whistle but before she could grab it herself, she saw Levi reach for it. She stared at him, curious and slightly confused, until she saw him pour the water into a cup and begin adding the herbs for her tea.  
Aubrey couldn’t help but watch for a moment as he carefully added each ingredient in the exact amounts she’d taught him. It was almost too sweet to watch.  
Aubrey tried to hold back the blinding smile on her face but she knew she was failing miserably. So, instead of holding it back, she just turned to the stove again and took the eggs out of the pan.  
All she had left was Levi’s tea but she already had the leaves prepared and it didn’t take her longer than a minute to have everything ready.  
She turned to Levi, seeing that he’d finished with her own tea and was now leaning against the counter as he waited for her.  
She was still smiling as she handed him his plate and a cup of his tea.  
“Here.”  
Aubrey picked up her own plate and then glared at the tea Levi had made her before grabbing it reluctantly. She turned back to him.  
“Let’s eat.”  
Aubrey grabbed his hand and dragged him back out to the main room, heading for the dining table.  
She set her plate down and slid into her chair, glancing out the window again. There was enough light for Aubrey to know that the sun had fully risen and she guessed that it was about seven o’clock. They were right on schedule.  
Aubrey shifted her attention back to Levi only to see that he was staring at her, his teacup in his hands. Her eyes brightened as she shifted her gaze to his plate.  
“Try it. Tell me what you think.”  
Aubrey nodded eagerly at his plate. It had been a long time since she’d had the time or the opportunity to actually cook. She thought that she’d done a good job but her skills might have been a little rusty.  
Levi sighed and set down his tea. He could tell that Aubrey was watching his every move as he took his first bite of his meal.  
Aubrey practically bounced in her seat as she waited for his response.  
“Well?”  
Levi set his fork down and stood from his chair.  
Aubrey’s eyes flashed between his face and his plate as she felt worry rising in her stomach. Was it really so bad that he was going to leave the table?  
Aubrey’s eyes widened when Levi leaned toward her, a hand wrapping around her chin as he pulled her lips within an inch of his own.  
“It’s perfect. Thank you.”  
Aubrey felt her worry melt away and she giggled as she pressed her mouth to his. He could really be very charming when he bothered to try. It was even better that he only seemed to try for her.  
When she pulled away, Aubrey could see a small smile on Levi's lips as he sat back down in his chair. It didn’t take him long to pick his fork back up and continue his meal.  
Aubrey grinned again and then started on her own plate, happy to find that Levi hadn’t been lying. She hadn’t lost her touch.  
“Oi, where did you get meat?”  
Aubrey glanced back up at Levi and a playful expression came over her face.  
“I stole it from the Officer’s pantry. Don’t tell Erwin.”  
Levi smirked and looked back at his plate.  
“Wasn’t planning on it.”  
Aubrey chuckled and took another bite, savoring the taste of something that wasn’t oatmeal. But, after a moment, she eyed her tea, glaring as she reached for it.  
“Save that for last.”  
Aubrey halted at the sound of Levi’s voice.  
Her brows furrowed.  
“Why?”  
“Just do it.”  
Aubrey stared at him for a few seconds, completely confused. But, eventually, she decided to just give in and do as he asked. As long as she drank it, it didn’t really matter.  
Aubrey returned to her food, taking a few more bites before speaking up again.  
“So, what do you want to buy today?”  
Levi raised an eyebrow.  
“I thought we were getting groceries and a shirt?”  
Aubrey laughed. Sometimes his thinking was so straight forward.  
“Well, yes, but there has to be something you want.”  
Levi shook his head.  
“I don’t need anything.”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes at him. He was too used to saving his money.  
“Today isn’t about what you need, it’s about what you want. Now, come on, tell me.”  
Levi scowled.  
“Tch. I don’t know. Maybe some soap that doesn’t smell like shit.”  
Aubrey rolled her eyes, knowing she wasn’t going to get a real answer. She’d just have to watch whatever caught his attention. He probably wouldn’t buy it for himself, but she wouldn’t hesitate to buy it for him.  
“Fine. But I’m buying chocolate. Maybe I’ll let you have some if you’re nice to me.”  
Aubrey took the last bite of her eggs, finishing off her food.  
Levi just huffed and took another sip from his cup.  
Aubrey reached for her tea again but this time Levi caught her wrist.  
She turned to him, still confused and slightly shocked. Why did he keep stopping her?  
“Levi?”  
Levi’s only answer was standing from his seat and reaching for the tea himself. Aubrey continued to gape at him, completely clueless as to what was going on in his mind.  
Levi tugged on her arm, an invitation to stand and she did so wordlessly. She still didn’t know what was going on.  
Levi led her back to the bed, setting the tea on the bedside table before seating himself on the mattress and pressing his back into the headboard.  
Aubrey felt the smile on her lips when he pulled her into his lap and put the tea back in her hands.  
“Now drink.”  
Aubrey giggled and turned her head back to face him, finding his lips with her own. Levi’s hand raised to her cheek as his arm tightened around her waist. Aubrey couldn’t help but twist around to face him, pressing her free hand into his chest.  
“If you wanted to sit with me, you could’ve just said so.”  
Levi scoffed.  
“Just drink your damn tea.”  
Aubrey laughed again, completely amused and amazed by his silent thoughtfulness. Every day, he did something that made her realize just how considerate he was, even if he didn’t like to show it.  
She leaned forward, kissing him one last time before pulling away and taking her first gulp. She shuddered at the taste and Levi held her tighter, putting his lips on her neck. The touch was enough to make Aubrey take another gulp and then another and another until the tea was gone and she was left with the taste of dirt on her tongue.  
Levi took the cup from her and set it to the side, kissing her despite his last experience with the taste of the tea.  
Aubrey laughed against his lips when he grunted at the flavor. But, he still kept kissing her.  
Finally, they broke away and Aubrey pressed their foreheads together as she spoke.  
“Maybe we should brush our teeth again. I’d rather not taste dirt every time we kiss today.”  
Levi huffed and Aubrey squealed as he suddenly scooped her off the bed and carried her to the bathroom. He set her on the sink, pushing her toothbrush into her hands and then finding his own. Aubrey giggled and started brushing.  
As soon as they were finished, Levi lifted her off the sink and set her on the floor. Aubrey wrapped her arms around his neck and gazed up at him. Now came the exciting part of their day.  
“Ready?”  
Aubrey saw Levi’s lips twitch as he leaned down to kiss her again. A silent yes. And without any trace of dirt-taste.  
Aubrey grinned as soon as he broke away and grabbed his hand.  
“Then let’s go.”  
They walked back out to the main room and Aubrey grabbed the once again empty satchel before rummaging through her boxes until she found her stash of money. She never really felt the need to spend much of her pay, so she had plenty. And between herself and Levi… well, they wouldn’t be desperate anytime soon.  
Aubrey stood, seeing that Levi had managed to locate his envelope of cash and she saw him take a small stack and put the rest away. Even those few bills were far more than what they could possibly need for one day at the market.  
He turned to her, putting the pile of money in her hands.  
Aubrey furrowed her brows. She still felt uncomfortable taking the money that had been meant for his life with Isabel and Furlan. She just didn’t quite feel like she had a right to spend it. Aubrey looked up at him, opening her mouth to speak. But she never got the chance.  
“I said it’s ours, remember? Take it, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey shook her head and tried to refuse his offer but he cut her off again.  
“Take it, Aubrey.”  
Her jaw snapped shut. She was starting to really hate that authoritative tone.  
But she could see that Levi wasn’t going to change his mind. So, reluctantly, she tucked their money away in the bag, hiding it safely in one of the pockets.  
As soon as that was done, Aubrey reached for him, pulling him into a hug and tucking her chin into his neck.  
Levi held her back, thankful that she’d accepted the money. He had a lot of it and there was no other way he wished to spend it except on her.  
After a few moments, Levi moved away, grabbing Aubrey’s hand and locking their fingers. They’d lingered long enough. Now it was time to start their day.  
“Let’s go.”  
Aubrey nodded and gave him a small smile.  
Levi leaned down, pressed his lips to her forehead, and then pulled her toward the door.  
The two of them walked through the halls in comfortable silence. Every couple of minutes, Aubrey would kiss his shoulder or squeeze his hand and Levi would always return the gesture.  
Finally, they made it out and onto the field. They hadn’t seen a single person in the halls. It was still early.  
Aubrey’s eyes landed on the stables and she turned to Levi, grinning.  
“Can we take Lex?”  
Levi arched an eyebrow. He had no idea who Lex was.  
“Lex?”  
Aubrey nodded vigorously, growing more excited by the second.  
“Yes, my horse. She’s fast, I promise.”  
Levi huffed at her enthusiasm. He was happy to see her so… lively. Especially after yesterday. He’d been worried that the seriousness of last night would carry over to today and drain her of her usually bright demeanor. But that didn’t seem to be the case at all. In fact, she was practically jumping up and down as she eagerly awaited his response.  
He couldn’t hide his smile as he answered her.  
“Whatever you want.”  
Aubrey’s eyes flashed and she pulled him close, her hands going up to hold his face as she stared at him. Levi could only stare back, admiring the look of elation on her features. He hoped that look would stay all day.  
“This is going to be fun, okay? Try to have fun.”  
Levi would never say it aloud but he was already having fun. The expression on her face was enough to entertain him for a lifetime.  
So, instead of answering with words, Levi just kissed her, biting playfully at her lip when he broke away.  
Aubrey squealed but just laughed when their eyes met again. Levi’s smile was still present. Aubrey beamed at him. They were going to have a day all to themselves. And she was determined to make it a good one.  
She grabbed his hand again and began hauling him across the field at a light jog. She’d expect Levi to protest or tell her to slow down but, to her surprise, he said nothing and simply allowed her to lead him into the stables and right up to the gate of Lex’s stall.  
Aubrey pushed it open a little too excitedly and walked right up to her horse, patting her neck and cooing a hello. She moved quickly, throwing on Lex’s saddle and attaching the saddlebags. They’d need them to carry back anything they bought. Finally, Aubrey put the bit in Lex’s mouth and moved the reins over her neck.  
She turned back to Levi, still grinning uncontrollably. Within a second, she had his hand in hers as she led Lex out of her stall, through the stables, and out to the field.  
When they were finally out in the open, she put one last pat on Lex’s neck and then turned back to Levi. He was watching her every move.  
“Do you want the reins?”  
Levi raised his eyebrows, surprised by her offer to let him steer.  
“Isn’t she your horse?”  
Aubrey giggled, the sound ringing through the air around them as she yanked him closer.  
“Well, yes, but she’ll have to get used to you at some point. Might as well start now.”  
“I don’t know the way.”  
Aubrey tugged on him a little harder.  
“I’ll tell you. Come on, if I like you, she’ll like you.”  
Levi’s lips twitched and Aubrey knew that she’d won.  
“Fine.”  
She stepped back, letting Levi swing up onto Lex’s back. He moved with that cat-like grace she could never take her eyes off of and before she could even say anything, he extended his hand down to her.  
Aubrey took it eagerly and then pulled herself up behind him.  
As soon as she was situated, she pressed a kiss to Levi’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist as she held on.  
Levi turned his head just enough to speak to her.  
“Ready?”  
Aubrey held him tighter, her lips pressing into his back again before she finally answered.  
“Ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter was just straight up fluff the whole time. But, like, that’s what I promised, sooooooooo… that’s what y’all got lol. The next chapter will be fluff, too, and MAYBE the next one, depending on how far I get with the story in the next chapter. I feel like I’m constantly saying that this story is going to be x amount of chapters longer and then I end up going way over that. This story just keeps dragging itself out lol. But, like… they’re just so cute. But we really are getting there. I promise. Then Book 2 :)))  
> Also, somebody asked if I had a twitter or an Instagram or a tumblr or something and I was wondering if y’all would want me to make an account for my *online persona*? Lol, even if two people are down with that, I’ll do it. I have a few parts of this story that I wrote and really liked but ended up taking out because they just didn’t fit the vibe I was going for. If I make a tumblr, maybe I could upload them there or take one-shot requests or smthn??? Idk, that is probs WAY too extra lol.  
> Y’all seriously leave the best comments. Like, for real. I cry. You’re all so sweet. Keep leaving them pleaseeeeeee. You know I love themmmmmmmmm. Thank youuuuuuuuu :)))) <333333  
> Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day! I think this chapter fit the mood. Good timing on my part lol. I hope y'all have a great day <333


	53. Chapter 53

“We can tie her up over there.”  
Levi turned his head to see that Aubrey was pointing to a long hitching rail with a trough in front of it. There were already plenty of other horses already lined up and tied to the rail. There was a small group of men sitting nearby, watching. They’d have to pay to tie Lex up. But it was better getting their horse stolen.  
Levi nodded and steered Lex over easily. He was already perfectly used to Aubrey’s horse. Their ride had been easy and Lex had listened to every command he gave her. And, just like Aubrey had said, she was fast.  
When they reached the hitching rail, Levi reached out a hand and Aubrey used it to help herself down. Levi was off in a second and he looked to see Aubrey already grinning at him. She put a hand on his chest and stared up at him. Levi could see the excitement in her eyes.  
“Okay, you tie her up and I’ll go pay the owner. Sometimes he gives me a discount if I smile enough.”  
Aubrey winked at him and then before he could say anything, she was gone, walking toward the group of men they’d seen before.  
Levi shook his head but did as she asked and securely tied Lex to the rail. He patted the horse’s neck and then turned back to see Aubrey doing just as she’d said she would. She was flashing grin after grin and laughing and some probably horrid joke. Levi couldn’t help but glare at the owner. But it didn’t really matter. Just a few seconds later, Aubrey reached into her bag, pulled out some cash, and paid the man. She gave him one last smile and then twisted around to walk back to Levi.  
Aubrey raised an eyebrow when she saw his glare but his attention quickly shifted back to her and his eyes turned from borderline hate to simply unamused. She laughed when she got back to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
“Well, the good news is that we got a discount. The bad news is that I think the owner shit his pants when he saw that glare you were giving him.”  
Levi’s lips twitched and his eyebrow raised.  
“I don’t see how that’s bad news.”  
Aubrey laughed again and kissed his cheek before grabbing his hand. Honestly she wasn’t sure if it was her smiles or Levi’s stare that had made the man cut the price in half. Either way, she was perfectly happy with the outcome.  
She took one last look at Lex, seeing that Levi had gotten her tied up and she was taking a long drink from the trough. She patted her horse’s side and then returned her attention to Levi’s face. He was staring down at her, a small smile on his lips as his eyes went over every feature on her face.  
Aubrey stared back at him, unable to stop herself from doing the same. Sometimes he was too beautiful to look away from.  
After an amount of time that was probably a little unacceptable, there was a neigh of a horse nearby and they were both shaken from their trance.  
Aubrey blinked and saw Levi shake his head. When their eyes met again she just giggled and grabbed his hand. They’d been standing around for too long. Now it was time to get started.  
“I was thinking we should get groceries last. That way, whatever needs to stay cold doesn’t go bad while we do the rest of the shopping.”  
Levi nodded and squeezed her hand. Whatever she wanted was fine with him.  
Aubrey beamed at him. She was much too excited.  
“Okay, how about we start with a new shirt, then?”  
Levi nodded again and tugged her current shirt up over her collarbone. Aubrey’s eyes widened in anticipation and within a second she was leading him away from the hitching rail and out into the open streets of the market.  
Levi scanned the area, taking in the busyness of the market. There were people everywhere, rushing from stand to stand or hurrying in and out of shops. Both sides of the streets were lined with stone buildings with each door displaying a sign that identified the different stores. There was cart after cart of fresh fruits, vegetables, eggs, dairy, everything, lined up outside the shops. He’d never seen anything like it. The markets in the Underground had never been so… happy.  
Aubrey glanced at him,seeing that he had on his usually neutral expression. But his eyes were shimmering and darting from place to place. It seemed like her plan to give him a pleasant distraction was working. She squeezed his hand and he turned to look at her, his eyes still full of interest.  
Aubrey smiled, her teeth flashing in the light before she spoke.  
“The clothing shops are just ahead. It shouldn’t take me long to find what I need and then we can go wherever you want.”  
Levi nodded even though there was only one place he really wanted to go. But he wanted to save it for last. Until then, he’d let Aubrey lead the way.  
Aubrey turned forward again, her eyes landing on the clothing shop that she’d visited a few times before. It wasn’t the most exciting way to start their day but when they were done, they could move on to exploring much more interesting things.  
They moved a little further down the street and then Aubrey pulled Levi to the left. They’d arrived at their destination.  
She pushed open the door, smiling at the shop owner as he greeted her. Aubrey felt Levi step in behind her and she glanced at his expression. His eyes were wandering greedily, trying to take in the sight before him. There was clothing everywhere of all kinds.  
Aubrey didn’t let him get overwhelmed. Instead she tugged him to the right, heading for the small section of shirts that would fit her needs. As a soldier, she needed more sturdy and plain clothing than most of what was made for women. At least that meant a quick decision.  
Aubrey went right to the back corner and began shifting through her options.  
Levi watched as she paused to examine a shirt more closely, made a face, and then put it back. She repeated the process a few more times and Levi finally grew tired of just standing there. He turned to the clothes as well.  
It was Aubrey’s turn to watch him. Levi flicked through the shirts so quickly that she could hardly believe he was looking at them until he suddenly stopped and pulled one out. He scanned it for a second longer and then pressed it into her hands.  
“Here. This one.”  
Aubrey stared at him wide eyed. She didn’t know what to say. So, instead of speaking, she just looked down at the shirt Levi had picked, realizing that… he’d picked right.  
The shirt was a light cream color and it was simple and somewhat plain, but the fabric felt thick and sturdy beneath her fingers. Most importantly, though, the cloth would hug along the edge of her neck. She wouldn’t have to worry about her collarbone showing at all.  
She felt her lips tug upwards and pretty soon she was grinning as she looked up at him. Apparently, Levi did pay attention to what she wore.  
Aubrey wrapped a hand around his neck and dragged him down until she could put a light kiss on his cheek.  
“Good pick. It’s perfect.”  
Levi hummed in her ear and Aubrey pulled away. She didn’t need to look any longer.  
She grabbed Levi’s hand and they both moved to the counter. When the owner told her the price she reached into her bag, pulling out the first bill her fingers hit. But Aubrey hesitated when she saw it. She didn’t have any bills of that much worth. It was Levi’s money.  
She glanced at him, a nervous and unsure look in her eyes.  
Levi had to stop himself from sighing. Why couldn’t she understand that whatever was his was hers?  
But, instead of sighing, he pressed his hand into her lower back and gave her a nod.  
Aubrey hesitated for a second longer and then, with just the slightest exhale, she handed over the money.  
The owner gave her the change and she tucked it back into her little pocket of money before placing the shirt inside of her bag.  
She turned back to Levi, taking a deep breath before grabbing his hand again and leading him out of the shop.  
It only took a couple of seconds before they were back out in the bright light of the sun with the bustle and clatter of the market all around them.  
Aubrey took another breath and then twisted to look at Levi, a grin coming to her lips as soon as she saw his face. He still looked absolutely captivated. She figured that maybe she should make a suggestion for their next stop.  
“How about the tea shop next? I promised Erwin I’d buy him some and we could get a few new kinds for ourselves.”  
Levi instantly glanced over at her as his lips twitched into a small smile.  
“Lead the way.”  
Aubrey grinned even wider, if that was at all possible, and she pulled him down the street.  
The rest of their morning was spent wandering through the shops, sometimes buying things and sometimes just stopping to admire. When they’d gone to the tea shop, Aubrey had quickly picked out a tea that she knew Erwin liked and then helped Levi pick out a few more for themselves. They had different tastes so they ended up settling on a white tea for her and a black tea for him. But the whole time they’d been there, Levi had been staring at another jar of leaves. Aubrey had reached for it but he’d caught her wrist and stopped her, muttering something about it being too expensive. She’d just grabbed it when he wasn’t looking and bought it anyway. He obviously didn’t realize that they had a small fortune to spend.  
They’d moved on to a book store next and Aubrey had found a few stories that sounded interesting enough to put on their bookshelves. She’d even found one she’d thought Hange would like. She’d picked up some new quills and ink for Erwin and then paid before Levi dragged her to the next store.  
Together they’d gone through more shops, sifting through clothes they had no intention of buying, eyeing the cakes in the window of the patisserie, purchasing a few bars of soap that Levi claimed didn’y smell like shit.  
Eventually, Levi had pulled Aubrey into a sweets shop and told her to pick any chocolates she wanted. Aubrey had squealed, kissed him, and then forced him to help her with the decision making process. She’d soon found out that he had a preference for mint and had picked a box that had plenty of the flavor. They’d paid quickly and then Aubrey had found a place to buy some sandwiches for lunch.  
The market just happened to be near the river and she’d found them a nice hidden patch of grass to eat on. Levi had complained a little about the dirt but he’d sat down anyway and Aubrey had sat facing him, their knees touching as they ate their lunch. They’d discussed what kind of groceries they wanted and she’d been surprised when Levi had asked if she knew how to make a specific kind of potato soup. She’d said yes and then asked why he wanted that soup in particular. When he’d said that his mother had made it for him as a child Aubrey hadn’t been to stop herself from pulling him close and kissing him until they were both breathless.  
When they’d recovered from their embrace, she’d taken out their newly purchased chocolates and laid against Levi’s chest as they ate a few and watched the water of the river.  
After they’d finished lunch, Aubrey had taken Levi right to the produce stands and picked out the best looking potatoes she could find. She’d smiled when he’d squeezed his hand and kissed her forehead after she’d bought them. Aubrey had bought the rest of the ingredients they’d need for the soup and then gone on to get the basics. Their bag quickly filled up with foods of all kinds and Levi had lifted it from Aubrey’s shoulder as soon as he’d started to suspect that it was getting heavy. Aubrey hadn’t bothered protesting. She’d known he wouldn’t give in.  
Eventually, they’d come to the butcher shop and Aubrey had leered at a cut of meat that was ridiculously expensive. She’d just moved on and bought what she’d thought they’d like to have for the occasional nice dinner.  
But when she’d finished her purchase, Levi had walked right up to the counter and bought the very cut of meat she’d passed on. She’d opened her mouth to object but it had been too late and Levi had already paid the owner. She’d just sighed when she’d realized that her trick with the tea had come full circle.  
Finally, after they’d left the butcher shop, Aubrey had realized that it was time to go. They’d have to leave soon if they wanted to get the meat home before it spoiled.  
Her and Levi had walked back to Lex, loading her saddlebags and emptying the satchel of all of their purchases.  
Aubrey was just tightening the latches on the saddlebags when she suddenly felt Levi’s hand on her waist, gently tugging as he asked for her to turn and face him.  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed and she twisted around to meet his eyes. She’d been expecting to have him say there was a problem of some kind but she could easily see a look of anticipation on his face. She only grew more confused.  
“What is it?”  
Levi dropped his hand from her waist and instead grabbed her hand.  
“There’s one more place we need to go.”  
Aubrey’s mind churned, trying to think where else he could possibly want to visit. They’d already gone to nearly every shop that could be of interest to them.  
“But the meat-”  
“The meat can wait a few more minutes.”  
Aubrey shut her mouth, a little surprised by the urgency with which he’d cut her off. She decided that she should just stop asking questions and let him take her wherever he wanted to go.  
She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. She was growing excited to see exactly why he had such a strange look in his eyes.  
“Okay, let's go, then.”  
Levi didn’t waste a second as he led her away from Lex one more time and scanned the street, looking for the shop he’d spotted earlier.  
Finally, he found it and he lightly tugged on Aubrey’s arm as they strolled over to the left side of the street.  
Aubrey scanned the shops, trying to figure out where Levi might be taking her… until he came to a sudden stop. She jolted a bit as tried to avoid running into him and looked to see that he’d turned to stare at the store in front of them.  
Aubrey followed his gaze and her eyes soon landed on the sign above the door.  
Every muscle in her body tensed and her eyes widened to the point that it was uncomfortable. 

Levi had brought her to a jewelry shop. And front and center in the window was a row of hefty diamond rings.

Aubrey’s mind reeled, trying to think of a reason why Levi would have brought her here. Maybe he was just pausing to look and this wasn’t their final destination? Maybe he thought she wanted to go in? Maybe he had a broken piece of jewelry he needed fixed?  
Aubrey’s brain kept churning and running through possibility after possibility, trying to explain why Levi could have brought her to a jewelry store.  
“Relax. I’m not going to marry you yet, if that’s what you’re thinking.”  
Aubrey head whipped to the side to see a familiar neutral look on Levi’s face… though, there was perhaps a twinge of amusement there, too.  
Aubrey sighed when she saw that he was being serious. He hadn’t brought her here to pick out a wedding ring. Why would he have? The idea was so far-fetched she couldn’t believe she’d considered it in the first place.  
But then she replayed his words in her head.  
Relax. I’m not going to marry you yet, if that’s what you’re thinking.  
Yet.  
Aubrey was only beginning to process the meaning of that word when Levi spoke again.  
“We’re too young for that shit.”  
Aubrey stared at him slack jawed until her ability to speak finally returned.  
“That’s the only reason?”  
Levi smirked at her and raised an eyebrow.  
“Can you think of any other reason?”  
Aubrey went silent again. She could think of plenty of other reasons. They’d only known each other for a couple of months, they’d only been together for a week, they were soldiers whose work didn’t necessarily encourage the married lifestyle…  
But most of all… Levi just didn’t seem like the marrying kind.  
And, though she could think of all these other reasons, she knew that if Levi had wanted to, he’d have been able to make her disregard them in just a few minutes. As alarmed as she’d been by the idea of marriage just a second ago, she knew that if Levi asked her… she wouldn’t be able to say no.  
“That’s what I thought.”  
Levi smirked at her again and Aubrey suddenly came back to her senses enough to slap him lightly on the shoulder.  
“Fine, you’re right. We’re too young. But if that’s not why we’re here then what are we here for?”  
Aubrey watched as Levi’s smirk turned to a smile and he pulled her a little closer.  
“I promised you a necklace, remember?”  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed, unable to recall any promise of a necklace. But then it came to her. When Levi had pulled his stash of money out from under the floorboards of his room she’d hardly been able to process his words. She’d been too focused on the small fortune in his hands and the fact that he wanted to share it with her to think about his offer to buy her necklace.  
Aubrey’s face relaxed and she glanced back up at him, her eyebrows raising.  
“You’re seriously going to buy me a necklace?”  
She waited, expecting some kind of snarky reply. But she got the opposite.  
Levi tugged her even closer and he raised the back of her hand to his lips before he spoke.  
“Any one you want.”  
Aubrey was frozen for a moment, still shocked by his sincerity. But one more look at the anticipation in his eyes was enough to make her melt. A smile spread across her face and she leaned in to kiss his cheek.  
“Thank you.”  
Levi’s smile grew and Aubrey saw a rare flash of his teeth. It only lasted for a second before he pressed his lips to her hand one more time and then pulled her through the door of the shop.  
Aubrey knew that she was grinning like a maniac when they entered and her belief was only confirmed when the shop owner instantly greeted them, sensing an easy sale.  
“Good afternoon, can I help you find something?” Her eyes darted to their twined fingers and then back to Aubrey’s grin. “A ring, perhaps?”  
Aubrey felt a blush rising to her cheeks but Levi responded before she could even get her mouth open.  
“A necklace.”  
The owner smiled and then gestured to a display on their left.  
“Right over here.”  
Levi pulled Aubrey over eagerly and she had to hold back a giggle. She was growing more excited by the second.  
Finally, they stopped in front of a glass case and Aubrey stared down at her options. There were a lot of them.  
There were necklaces of gold and silver in all kinds of designs, shapes, and sizes. Their pendants ranged from simple and small to large and extravagant with huge gemstones.  
Aubrey focused in on the smaller pieces. She didn’t want anything too ornate or showy. She wanted to be able to wear the necklace even in casual situations.  
Aubrey felt Levi move behind her and was surprised when his hands went to her waist and his chin tucked into her neck as he looked over her shoulder. He must have been in an exceptionally good mood if he was willing to show her such affection in a public place.  
Aubrey continued looking, taking her time as she examined each and every piece in detail. For some reason, she felt like she was experiencing some kind of milestone in her relationship with Levi and she wanted to make sure that she made the right decision.  
She stood, her eyes flitting from necklace to necklace… and then she found it.  
The second her eyes landed on it, she knew it was the one.  
Aubrey lifted her hand, pointing out the piece she’d chosen to the store owner.  
“That one.”  
The owner grinned and reached into the case, pulling out the necklace.  
“Good choice.”  
Levi leaned forward, pressing further into Aubrey’s back as he took a good look at what she’d picked.  
It was a very simple necklace with a dainty gold chain and a tiny gold pendant. Levi stared harder and then felt his lips twitch when he saw why she’d chosen this necklace.  
The pendant was a tiny golden star with what looked like a diamond at its center. But the star wasn’t just any star. It was in the shape of a cross with four distinct points. It was the North Star.  
Levi pressed his lips to her hair and then stopped the owner mid-movement.  
“We don’t need a box.”  
The owner said something about the price but Aubrey didn’t hear. All she could do was watch as Levi pulled the money from their bag, handed it over, and took the necklace.  
Before she knew it, Levi had grabbed her hand and started pulling her out of the store. Aubrey couldn’t help but grin again as he led her back through the streets, veering off to a quiet and private spot near the river.  
As soon as they got there, Levi’s hands went to her hips and he turned her around so that he could stand behind her. She shuddered when his fingers brushed against her neck as he pushed her hair out of the way. Then she felt the cool touch of metal on her skin and soon Levi was turning her around again to face him. Aubrey followed his direction eagerly and stared up at him.  
He was still smiling but it was subtle, undetectable unless you looked closely. But the real smile was in his eyes. Aubrey was beginning to realize that everything was in his eyes. He may have grown adept at keeping that neutral expression in tact but if you could learn to read his eyes… you could learn anything about him.  
Aubrey felt Levi’s palm on her cheek and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he leaned down. When his lips hit hers, Aubrey smiled into him, unable to contain her absolute happiness. Levi put his free hand on her waist and pulled her closer until their bodies were completely pressed together.  
Aubrey ran a hand into his hair and let the strands slide through her fingers. She’d loved every second of their day and now she had a token to remember it by. Even now, she knew she’d wear it every day for the rest of her life.  
Eventually, the two of them ran out of air and Aubrey broke away, pressing their foreheads together. Levi hand slid away from her cheek and down to her chest, where he took the tiny pendant in his hand and looked a little closer.  
Aubrey gazed at the star and then back at Levi, a smile still on her lips.  
“Thank you, Levi. I love it.”  
Levi pulled away to see her face, feeling a comforting warmth run through him when he saw her expression.  
“I love you.”  
Aubrey felt her eyes start to water at his declaration. Every time he said it, she was overwhelmed by the sensation of pure bliss.  
She reached for his face and stroked his cheekbones as she spoke.  
“I love you, too.” She paused staring at him for a moment longer and then finally continued on. “Now let’s go home. Maybe I can make the soup for dinner.”  
Aubrey watched as a full smile took over Levi’s lips, his teeth glinting in the sun. She stared at him, completely dazzled before he kissed her again and then started tugging her away from their private little spot and back toward Lex.  
Aubrey went along easily, wondering how she’d ever lived without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff :)  
> There will be one more fluff chapter after this and then we’re on to the end of this story :’ ) Very bittersweet. I would guess maybe like… five more chapters until this book finishes? I always say that and then I end up going like another 20 chapters, but I think I’m serious this time lol. There’s only one more part of the story to fit in.  
> I am going to buy myself a cake when I finish this book and eat the whole thing by myself. I CANNOT believe that I wrote a 200k+ word fanfic. I am amazed by myself and I deserve cake.  
> I hope the last chapter helped everyone have a slightly more enjoyable Valentine’s Day :)  
> Okay, on to the actual chapter lol. Levi wants to marry her one dayyyyyyyy. Too cute. And he bought her a necklace. Also too cuteeeeeeeee. I cannot. They’re so adorable that sometimes it hurts.  
> Also, regarding my last question about whether or not I should start a social media platform of some kind… I will! Once I get it up and running I’ll put it at the end of the next author’s note :)  
> PLEASE leave a comment if you want! I am back to begging now. I love them so much and I am obsessed. Literally, you could leave 20 comments on one chapter and I would read every single one and squeal the whole time.  
> Okay, that’s all I’ve got. I hope everyone had a nice Valentine’s Day and I hope y’all like the chapter! <333


	54. Chapter 54

WARNING: If you listen to sad music/love songs, you may cry. I did. Lol. 

Their ride back was quick and Aubrey savored every moment. Levi had taken the reins again and Aubrey held him tightly as she leaned against his back. She spent the trip breathing in the scent of his clothes, placing light kisses on his back and shoulders, running her hands over the hard muscles of his abdomen. It was relaxing, peaceful.  
When they finally arrived back on base, they got a few curious looks as they rode up to the stables. Aubrey just ignored them; she didn’t really care.  
Levi helped her down and then swung down himself before putting a quick kiss on her forehead and taking her hand.  
They took Lex back to her stall and took off all of her equipment. Aubrey made sure she had water and then given her a little extra hay. She’d worked hard.  
They loaded all of their purchases back into the stachel, which Levi insisted on carrying, and then made their way back to their room. It was still just early afternoon when they returned and Aubrey knew that it was still too early to start on the soup. But there was certainly something else to do that would fill the time perfectly.  
A quick glance around the room had revealed that they desperately needed to unpack and stop living out of boxes. Aubrey was surprised that Levi had allowed them to live in such a way at all. Maybe he’d been too caught up in their whirlwind of life changes. She certainly had been.  
Aubrey stored away all of their groceries and other purchases and then quickly moved on to the task of unpacking. She’d struck a deal with Levi and they’d agreed that he would clean and she would unpack. Both of them were perfectly satisfied with that arrangement. Levi seemed to genuinely enjoy cleaning and Aubrey was just happy to have an option that didn’t include scrubbing the floors on her hands and knees.  
They got to work immediately and Aubrey started with their clothes first. She hung their things in the closet and couldn’t help but grin when she saw their things side by side. The sight made her heart race.  
She put the boxes of Jack and Tika’s things as well as Isabel and Furlan’s in the back of the closet. But somehow, it felt different than the last time she’d hastily hidden Jack’s things away in the corner. This time, it didn’t hurt to look at them. They were just boxes. Boxes that held memories, but memories that she would no longer let drag her down.  
She took one last glance before closing the closet door and moving on to the office.  
She put their newly purchased books on the shelf before sighing and thinking about how pitiful it looked. They still had shelves upon shelves to fill and they only had a few actual books. It would take them their whole lives together to fill that many spots.  
She continued going through their boxes, putting whatever had been in their old desks into their new one.  
Eventually, she came across another book. Levi’s mother’s book.  
She smiled at the sight of it and placed it in front of all their other books on the shelf. As far as she was concerned, it was one of their most prized possessions.  
It didn’t take her much longer to finish in the office and then she moved back out to the main room, emptying the miscellaneous contents of the remaining boxes. Towels and soap went to the bathroom, candles got tucked away in cabinets, and then, once they’d been completely emptied, the boxes were taken back to the supply closet they’d come from.  
Aubrey had finished her task but she knew Levi would be scrubbing all night if she let him. So she lifted from his crouch and told him it was time to start on dinner. It took a little prodding but eventually, and reluctantly, he left his cleaning for another day and moved to help her in the kitchen.  
Despite his earlier claims that he knew how to cook, Aubrey decided she was going to teach him anyway. He was going to learn whether he wanted to or not. She was not making dinner every night for the rest of their lives just because Levi didn’t know how much pepper to put in.  
She went easy on him for the first night and told him to just chop the potatoes. He did it without so much as grumbling at her and after a few minutes, he handed her a cutting board piled up with the finished product.  
For the rest of the time, she let him watch, showing and explaining everything she did. To her surprise, he seemed rather interested and listened carefully to every word she said. Though, her favorite part was when he wrapped his arms around her waist and looked over her shoulder at what she was doing. She never got tired of having him close.  
Soon, the soup was done and Aubrey poured it into a couple of bowls. She hoped she’d gotten it right. But, she knew that no matter what, she’d probably never live up to the recipe Levi remembered. Still… she would try.  
She turned, placing a bowl in Levi’s hands as a smile came to her lips.  
“Let’s eat.”  
For a moment, all Levi could do was stare at the bowl in his hands. The soup looked exactly like his mother’s. Or at least what he could remember it looking like.  
He tore his attention away from the food and looked into Aubrey’s eyes, trying to express just how much this gesture meant to him. But he knew that just a gaze wasn’t enough.  
Levi set his bowl on the counter and pulled her close. His lips went to her neck and trailed up her skin until her mouth was next to her ear.  
“Thank you.”  
Aubrey leaned into him, a sigh escaping her as she pulled his lips to hers. She knew what he was trying to tell her. She’d grown accustomed to his use of actions in place of words and she could understand him just as well as if he’d spoken aloud.  
When they broke away, she pulled back just a little to look into his eyes and saw them glimmering in the light.  
She smiled and gently rubbed the back of his neck. He’d know that she was more than happy to have done something that brought him so much comfort.  
“You’re welcome. Now let’s go to the table. You have to tell me what to change for next time.”  
Before Levi could even respond, Aubrey picked up his bowl again and pressed it into his hand before lightly gripping his wrist and leading him to their seats.  
Aubrey sat down immediately and Levi moved across from her, even though the small distance between them still felt like too much.  
(Y/N watched as he finally turned his attention to his food and she smiled when finally took his first bite. She joined him and contemplated the taste for a moment before she glanced at him again.  
“Hm, I think it needs more salt. And maybe more cream. Am I right?”  
Levi huffed and took another bite before speaking.  
“You would know better than I would.”  
Aubrey hummed in response. She supposed that was true. Levi just remembered the taste, not how to make it.  
“Hm, I guess we’ll just have to keep trying ‘til we get it right, then.”  
Levi glanced at her again, unable to believe that she was willing to put so much effort into perfecting something as trivial as his favorite childhood meal. But then he wondered why he was surprised at all. Of course she would. He’d forgotten who he was thinking about.  
“Let’s go for a walk tonight.”  
Aubrey’s voice broke Levi from his thoughts but it still took him a moment to process what she’d said.  
“A walk?”  
Aubrey nodded eagerly as she took another bite of her soup.  
“Yeah, we haven’t been on one in a while.”  
Levi felt a tiny smile on his lips as he realized that she was referring to the pond. They hadn’t been there since before the expedition. Without a moment’s hesitation, he stood from his seat and extended his hand.  
“Then let’s go.”  
Aubrey’s eyes flashed to his and when she saw the smile on his face she couldn’t help but mirror his expression. She put down her spoon, there were only a few bites of soup left anyway, and stood from her chair.  
“Okay.”  
Aubrey instantly took his hand and their fingers laced together automatically.  
Levi moved around the table and pulled her close until his lips pressed into her jaw.  
Aubrey giggled at his sweetness. She had a feeling that their day was only going to get better.  
Levi didn’t linger for long. He moved back after just a few seconds and then tugged Aubrey over to the closet. He shifted through the newly-hung clothes until he found their coats and then quickly ripped them out. He hung them over his arm. They didn’t need them quite yet. The sun was just starting to set. But it was the end of August and a cool chill would be in the air shortly after they reached the pond.  
Aubrey watched him with a smile on her face as he turned back to her and then led her to the door. He wasn’t wasting any time.  
When they were finally out in the hallway, Aubrey pressed her lips to Levi’s cheek and then kissed his shoulder as she pulled away. He squeezed her hand and gave her a soft look as they continued on.  
The two of them strolled casually through the halls, though Aubrey insisted that they take the back door. She wasn’t in the mood to run into someone they knew. She’d had Levi to herself all day and she wanted it to stay that way.  
Their heels clacked against the stone floors until the exit finally came into view and Aubrey giggled as she tugged Levi along a little faster. He didn’t object.  
Soon they were outside, moving across the grass as they headed for a familiar path. Aubrey paused every so often as they walked to pull Levi in close and kiss him before continuing on. Their little breaks made their trip a little longer than usual but neither of them minded the slightest bit.  
Finally, they entered the treeline and they both knew that there was only a little more ground to cover before they would arrive.  
Aubrey felt a rush go through her. The pond was such an important place to her, and to Levi, too. It held so many memories, almost all of them good. And the last ones they’d made there were too special to ever forget.  
Aubrey’s heart was pounding in her chest when they finally broke into the clearing and the pond came into view. It never failed to take her breath away.  
They stood there for a moment, their eyes wandering as they took in the perfectly still water, the glow of the sky as the sun was setting, the sight of the leaves shifting in the gentle summer breeze.  
Aubrey eventually looked to the peninsula and she couldn’t help but smile when she remembered just how much of their time together had been spent in that very spot. That spot was where they’d fallen in love.  
“I’ll get the blanket.”  
Levi pressed a kiss to Aubrey’s hair as he unlocked their hands and headed in the direction of the cabin before she could even respond.  
Aubrey watched him go, moving as gracefully as ever.  
As soon as he disappeared inside the cabin, Aubrey moved onto their peninsula, taking a moment to glance into the water. The sun was close to the end of its day and the pond was reflecting the orange and pink colors of the sky. She was sure it was the most beautiful she’d ever seen it look.  
She stood there, absolutely mesmerized, until she jumped at the feeling of a hand on her waist. She didn’t even get to turn around before Levi’s chin tucked into the curve of her neck and he whispered in her ear.  
“Lie with me?”  
Aubrey’s heart melted. He was asking her the same question that had started everything that night before the expedition. The same question that had finally brought them together.  
Tears sprang to her eyes and she wriggled around in Levi’s arms until she could turn around to face him. Her hands went to his face and she stared into the eyes she’d come to know so well.  
“Always.”  
Aubrey wasn’t sure who had leaned in first but their lips met just a second after she’d spoken.  
Aubrey’s fingers slid into his hair and Levi pulled her so close that she could feel every flex of his muscles. Her tears never spilled over but she still felt them pricking at the back of hers eyes as she thought about just how much she’d meant what she’d said. If she could, she’d lie with him ‘til the end of time.  
Without ever letting their lips part, Levi lowered them to the ground.  
Aubrey briefly registered that he’d already spread the blanket across the ground. She must have been so distracted by the pond that she hadn’t even heard him unfolding it behind her.  
But that thought didn’t last long as they hit the blanket and Aubrey wrapped her arms around Levi’s neck as his hands pressed into her back.  
Aubrey kissed him harder and Levi returned her intensity but they soon ran out of breath and Aubrey reluctantly broke away. She unlocked her arms from around his neck and moved her hands to his face. And, ever so slowly, Aubrey guided them both down until they were lying completely on the blanket.  
Levi’s arms tightened around her again and soon she was pressed against his chest with his chin resting on the top of her head. Aubrey twined her legs with his and ran a hand up and down his arm.  
They lay there like that for what could have been second, minutes, or hours. Aubrey didn’t know. All she knew was that she’d never felt safer than she did in Levi’s arms. When he held her, problems faded away. Death, grief, pain… all of it lessened. She could only focus on the way his touch still lit her on fire.  
Eventually, Aubrey noticed that the air had started to cool and that the sun had lowered completely, leaving only glimmers of light in the sky. Aubrey wondered how they’d ended up lying in silence for so long. Being with Levi could always make her lose track of time.  
She pulled her head away from Levi’s chest and saw him open his eyes when he sensed her movement. She smiled. He looked sleepy.  
Slowly, Aubrey started to sit up. After a few seconds, Levi moved to prop himself up but Aubrey pressed a hand to his chest.  
“It’s okay. Stay there.”  
Levi’s brows furrowed as he watched her move behind him. Before he could turn to see what she was doing, Aubrey had his head in her lap and her fingers were running through his hair.  
Levi huffed and a small smile came to his lips. He reached a hand up and wrapped it around the back of her neck as he dragged her lips down to his.  
Aubrey giggled as she pulled away ever so slightly, her hair falling down around them and blocking out the world.  
“You can go to sleep if you want. I don’t mind.”  
Levi shook his head. He didn’t need or want to sleep. Her touch was just so comforting that he’d almost drifted off.  
Aubrey giggled again and pressed another kiss to his lips before sitting back up.  
“Okay. The stars will be out soon, anyway. And it’s been too long since you had a lesson.”  
Levi’s lips twisted from a smile to a scowl.  
“How many shitty stars are there?”  
Aubrey laughed at his irritation but answered him nonetheless.  
“More than you could ever guess.”  
Levi grunted but he didn’t really mean it. He’d look at the stars with her for the rest of his life if he could.  
Aubrey ran her fingers through his hair again and she smiled when she heard him sigh. She kept going, pausing every so often to scratch at his undercut or massage his scalp. Levi’s face relaxed enough that he took on the incredibly youthful look he had when he slept. Aubrey couldn’t help but kiss him again.  
When she pulled away she returned to his hair but this time she grabbed a lock and braided it loosely before undoing it and starting again.  
“Oi, what are you doing?”  
Levi had felt the difference in her movements.  
Aubrey giggled, wondering how he would react.  
“Braiding.”  
Levi raised an eyebrow.  
“You’re braiding my hair?”  
Aubrey nodded, holding back another laugh.  
“Do you want me to stop?”  
Levi grumbled under his breath. He most certainly didn’t want her to stop. Even if she was braiding.  
“No.”  
This time Aubrey couldn’t hold in her chuckle and Levi gave her a very unamused look. She just ignored him and kept going, marveling at how soft his hair felt against her skin.  
She braided a few more strands but then took notice of the way his bangs were hanging a little lower on his forehead than usual. She brushed them from his eyes.  
“Do you want me to cut your hair later?”  
Levi glanced up at her, his brows furrowing and a skeptical look entering his eyes.  
Aubrey scoffed when she saw his expression. She couldn’t believe that this was thing that he hesitated to trust her with.  
“Oh, come on, you really don’t trust me to cut your hair?”  
Levi stared at her for a moment longer but then Aubrey saw his brow relax and she knew she’d won.  
“Fine. But you’d better not mess it up.”  
She laughed, satisfied with how easily he’d given in.  
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”  
Aubrey looked up at the sky only to find that the stars had come out. She grinned. It was time for their lesson to start.  
But before she could open her mouth, she felt Levi’s fingers brush against her neck and looked down to see that he was holding the pendant of her new necklace, studying it intently.  
Aubrey giggled and brushed the hair out of his eyes again.  
“Wrong star, Levi. Find me the real one.”  
She heard him grunt and was about to laugh again when she suddenly felt his head leave her lap. Her back hit the blanket before she could even process his movement.  
“Let’s skip the lesson tonight.”  
Aubrey stared up at Levi wide eyed as he hovered over her. He’d moved so quickly that his actions had caught her off guard.  
For a moment, she couldn’t even answer. But her ability to speak slowly returned and she eventually managed a one word response.  
“Why?”  
Levi’s fingers found the pendant again and Aubrey watched him carefully as the emotions in his eyes flickered from one to another. But he was switching around too fast for her to get a read on him.  
“Because I’m not in the mood.”  
Aubrey raised an eyebrow, still trying to figure out what he was thinking.  
“Then what are you in the mood for?”  
Aubrey felt Levi’s hands slide beneath her back as he sat up and pulled her into his lap, her legs going around his waist as she faced him. Just a second later, his chin tucked into her neck and he held her tightly as he whispered into her ear.  
“Just this.”  
Aubrey smiled as she realized what he was saying. He just wanted to hold her.  
She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms loosely around his back. She was perfectly fine with ‘just this’.  
“Okay.”  
Levi sighed into her ear and pulled her a little closer. He really wasn’t in the mood for stars. He just wanted her body against his.  
There was silence for a moment as Aubrey allowed her mind to wander back through the memories of their day. It was one of the best of her life. Maybe second only to the day Levi had told her he loved her. But even that day had been tainted by an overhanging shadow of sadness and dread. Today, though… today it had just been him and her. There had been no expedition to worry over, no training to get through. It had just been them. Them doing their best to be happy in a world that offered so much pain.  
Aubrey couldn’t help but smile as she remembered when Levi had taken her to the jewelry store. It had definitely been the most prominent part of their day. The necklace still felt cool against her skin but it was almost comforting in a way. It was a physical reminder of Levi that she would have for the rest of her life. Even when she couldn’t be at his side, at least she’d have something that would always make her smile.  
But the thought of the necklace only made Aubrey remember the other part of their trip to the jewelry store. A part that had left her reeling and feeling as though her heart was going to give out. A part that still left her breathless even as she opened her mouth to speak.  
“Levi?”  
“Hm?”  
Aubrey felt him hum into her skin. At some point his lips had moved to her neck.  
Aubrey took a deep breath, trying to steady herself before she brought up a topic that both terrified and excited her. The future.  
She gathered all of her willpower, all of her courage, and all of her strength, and asked Levi the question that was consuming her thoughts.  
“Are you really going to marry me one day?”  
Levi froze, his lips stilling on her neck. He hadn’t been expecting that question.  
But she’d asked. And he was going to answer.  
Levi took a second to compose himself and then moved his head back to look her in the eyes. He put a hand on her cheek and stared at her, taking in every aspect of her expression. She looked expectant, but her eyes were soft and there was the tiniest hint of a smile of her lips.  
Levi scanned her features for a second longer and then answered her.  
“Yes.”  
Aubrey was surprised by how sure he sounded, like he had no doubts whatsoever even though he’d only known her for a couple of months.  
Her lips tugged up into a soft smile as her eyes started to water. The first tear slid down her cheek just as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to Levi’s.  
Their kisses were gentle, soft, and loving in every way. Levi’s fingers splayed across her cheek while his other hand wrapped around the back of her neck. More tears trailed down Aubrey’s face as her arms tightened around his waist, pulling him against her.  
When they finally broke away, Levi just wiped the tears from her cheeks and then kissed her again. Aubrey didn’t mind one bit.  
When he eventually let her go for good, she put her head back on his shoulder as he rubbed his palm up and down her side.  
They were quiet for a few seconds, just enjoying each other’s presence, savoring the feeling of the peace in the air.  
Aubrey could have stayed that way for the rest of the night but it was Levi who eventually spoke up.  
He leaned further into her, his voice just barely audible.  
“And when I do marry you, I’m going to take you away from this shitty base and buy you all the chocolate you want.”  
Aubrey smiled, trying to hold back another round of tears. She could hardly believe that he was so sure, so positive.  
“I’d like that.”  
She was getting lost in a future that seemed almost unattainable. But, for tonight, she wouldn’t try to bring herself back to reality. For tonight, she’d happily get lost. She opened her mouth.  
“And when all of this is over? If the titans disappear? What will we do then?”  
Levi started to rock them back and forth and Aubrey held him tighter as he answered her.  
“We’ll go wherever you want.”  
Aubrey felt a lump in her throat and her next words came out sounding hoarse and rough.  
“Maybe we could open a shop in town. We could sell tea if you want.”  
Levi hummed into her.  
“I’d like that.”  
More tears fell onto her cheeks but Aubrey didn’t even notice. Her mind was far away from her body, living in a place she doubted she’d ever get to see. But she’d keep imagining as long her brain would let her.  
Levi spoke next.  
“We could have a kid or two.”  
Aubrey found herself shocked that he’d even consider having a family. But, then again, the scenario they were imagining was impossible. His answer in real life would probably be very different. But she wasn’t going to question him tonight. She’d just accept it.  
“How about three?”  
“Oi, that’s a lot of brats to deal with at once.”  
Aubrey laughed even as tears still stained her skin.  
“We could do it.”  
Levi huffed.  
“We’ll see.”  
Aubrey smiled and nodded. She knew that was the best she was going to get.  
They carried on like that deep into the night, envisioning a future they both knew they’d never get to experience. But it didn’t really matter. So long as they had each other, they knew they could get through anything, even if that meant never getting to open a shop in town or have a child.  
After a while they’d moved to laying on the ground, whispering so quietly that had it not been for the dead silence of the night, they wouldn’t have been able to hear each other. But eventually, their eyes had drooped and their voices had trailed off and Levi had tightened the blanket around them.  
They’d held each other close, murmuring “I love you”s until they’d fallen asleep. And, for the first time in a long time, Aubrey had dreamt not of her horrible past, but of her perfectly bright future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was another flufffffy floof :))) This was the last one. They just needed to go to the pond before I moved on :’) Next chapter will be story-based and I’ll be wrapping this fic up. It’s gonna be over soon and I feel like a piece of me is dying?? But, like, in a good way… and a sad way lol. It’s so bittersweet.  
> And soup heals the soul, y’all. Nothin’ like a bowl of your dead mom’s soup made by your ultra-supportive girlfriend to make you feel good lol. But the convo they had at the end about the future made me cry. Like, I am NOT exaggerating. Also, I’m not sure that Levi would ever want kids but they were envisioning a *perfect* world so I figured he might give in a little in a situation like that.  
> Also, WARNING, there is going to be about a six-month time jump between this chapter and the next. No, it’s not the start of Book 2, it’s still this book. It will make sense when you read it, but I just didn’t want anyone to be caught off guard or confused.  
> And, I still get some comments that are confused by the concept of “Book 2” so I’m just going to explain it again here :) If you already know what’s up with Book 2, you can totally skip this paragraph lol. This book will end within 5 more chapters, give or take a few. That will be the end of THIS part of the story (AKA the No Regrets era). BUT, this same story (meaning the same characters, (Y/N) and Levi) will be continued in Book 2 (AKA the AOT Season 1 era). However, the story of Book 2 STARTS 10 years after Book 1 ENDS. So, there’s a ten year time gap between the two books. You cannot read Book 2 without first having read all of Book 1 or you’ll be very confused lol. I’ll be posting the first chapter of Book 2 at the same time that I post the last chapter of Book 1 so that y’all don’t have to wait too long :) Anyway, I hope that clears thing up for people.  
> Okay, that’s all I’ve got :) PLEASE leave a comment. I need them to stop me from crying when I finish this fic lol. I read every single one and try to respond to all of them :)) They give me life. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading this fic for getting this far. It means the world to me <3


	55. Chapter 55

“I win. Again.”  
Aubrey smirked as Levi twisted around on the ground, trying to get back up after she’d just knocked him down. She’d been training in her fighting style for six months now and he was getting better, a lot better, actually, but he’d still only ever managed to beat her a handful of times. Even so, Aubrey was extremely impressed with his progress. It had taken her years to get to the level that Levi was already at. She hadn’t even been able to land a punch on her father until she was nine. But Levi had been able to hit her after just a few days of practice. He was unnaturally good at all things physical.  
“Oi, you’ve had a lifetime of practice and I’ve had a few shitty months.”  
Aubrey snickered at him.  
“Well, I still won and that’s all that really matt-”  
Aubrey’s words came to an abrupt halt when she felt a hand wrap around her ankle and yank. She fell to the ground and landed on the grass with a soft thud.  
Just a second later Levi was hovering over her. Now he was smirking.  
“Who’s winning now?”  
Aubrey’s expression shifted from shock to annoyance in a second and she slapped his chest.  
“That’s not fair. The match was over.”  
Levi leaned closer, a teasing look on his face.  
“And who was it that told me to never let my guard down?”  
Aubrey furrowed her brows and her lip stuck out in a pout as she glared up at him.  
“That’s in real life, not in a training matc-”  
She didn’t even get to finish before Levi’s lips hit hers. He didn’t stay there long before moving to her jaw, her cheeks, her forehead, her nose.  
Aubrey felt all of her irritation melt away and she giggled at the feeling of Levi’s light touches.  
“Levi, quit it!”  
Aubrey tried to make herself sound serious but her words came out as a laugh. She never stood a chance at being mad at him when he was in such a playful mood.  
After a few more seconds, he heeded her request and brought his mouth back to her lips one last time before he fully pulled away.  
He stared down at her, allowing the corners of his mouth to turn up the tiniest bit when he saw the bright grin on her face. Even after seeing it so many times, it never failed to blow him away.  
Aubrey stared up at him for a moment and allowed her gaze to linger on his lips, admiring the small smile. It was still a sight that only she got to see. Usually. Sometimes Erwin or Hange would spout something that made him unable to contain himself and just the tiniest bit of a grin would slip through. Hange always went nuts. Erwin just smiled back.  
Aubrey felt Levi’s hand on her face and suddenly she was broken from her trance. She could still get lost in him just as easily as ever.  
She took a deep breath and met his eyes.  
“Let’s go home. I’m hungry.”  
Levi nodded, moved off her, and stood, extending a hand down.  
Aubrey took it and pulled herself up quickly, excited to get home. They’d stayed after training to work on hand to hand combat by themselves. They’d been at it for the better part of an hour, though, and Aubrey was starting to feel a gnawing in her stomach.  
She reached for Levi’s hand and her fingers locked with his immediately. It was so automatic now, almost like breathing.  
Aubrey leaned in and kissed his cheek before moving back and pulling him toward the castle. They’d gone into town a couple of days ago and Levi had bought her a very nice cut of meat. Maybe a little too nice to be acceptable. But she wasn’t going to let it go to waste and she was already planning how she was going to prepare it.  
“Aubrey!”  
Aubrey’s mind was torn from a world of spices and potatoes to focus on a familiar voice.  
She turned her head to see Hange running towards them, waving a hand in the air as she grew closer.  
Aubrey glanced at Levi and found that he was giving her a confused look that mirrored her own. Though, his might have had a bit more annoyance mixed in.  
Aubrey tugged on his hand and they walked in Hange’s direction to meet her.  
Finally, Hange came to a stop in front of them and Aubrey watched curiously as she caught her breath.  
“What is it, Hange?”  
Hange took a deep breath and spoke even though Aubrey could tell she was still slightly winded.  
“It’s Erwin. He wants to see you two in his office.”  
Aubrey’s eyes flicked to Levi again and saw that he was still just as confused as her.  
“Now?”  
Hange nodded and Aubrey started to grow concerned. She and Levi saw Erwin almost every night for tea. If he wanted them now, it must be urgent.  
Aubrey was about to ask why but Hange answered her question before she could even open her mouth.  
“A messenger came into the Mess Hall and whatever he told Erwin made his face go white. He just turned to me and told me to find you two and send you to his office immediately. Then he left.”  
Aubrey’s eyes widened and she was already pulling Levi away when she responded.  
“Thank you, Hange. We’ll see you later.”  
Aubrey rushed past, Levi at her side as they made their way into the castle.  
“Do you know what’s going on?”  
Levi’s voice was quiet but Aubrey could still hear the tone of worry.  
She squeezed his hand a little tighter and shook her head. She was just as clueless as he was.  
“No, but… Erwin’s face doesn’t go white. Not unless… not unless it’s serious.”  
Levi stared at her, his sense of uneasiness growing with each passing second. If Aubrey was worried, so was he.  
They moved a little faster as they finally entered the castle and soon they were jogging through the halls, receiving strange looks from anyone they passed.  
Aubrey didn’t even notice. She was completely consumed by thoughts of Erwin and whatever had made him order them to his office.  
By the time the door came into sight, she was panicking, her entire body strained by the sense that something bad was coming.  
Finally they came to a stop and Aubrey’s hand hit the knob. But she stopped. She had to do something before they went in.  
She turned to Levi and, without warning, she wrapped her hand around his neck and kissed him. The kiss was short, but intense. A silent “I love you” before they faced whatever was lying inside the office.  
The second they broke away, Aubrey moved her fingers back to the knob and pushed.  
“Erwin, what’s wrong?”  
The door hadn’t even swung all the way open before she’d spoken, rushing into the office as Levi let go of her hand and locked them in.  
Aubrey stared at Erwin’s expression. Seeing him didn’t soothe her worry in the slightest. He looked… sad.  
He was sitting at his desk, his chin resting on his clasped hand as he gazed back at her. There was no paperwork in front of him, no quill in his fingers. He’d just been looking at nothing.  
Aubrey rushed over to him, taking his hands in hers and leaning as close to him as she could over the desk. She reached for his face, her hand resting on his cheek as she raised his eyes to hers. When their gazes finally met, Aubrey nearly screamed at him to tell her what was wrong. All she could see was pain.  
Suddenly, Aubrey felt Levi’s hand on her back and Erwin's eyes shifted to look over her shoulder, no doubt to meet Levi’s gaze.  
“Oi, Erwin. What’s going on?”  
There were a few more beats of silence and then, finally, Erwin sighed and hung his head.  
Aubrey clutched his hands even tighter as she waited for him to speak.  
Erwin raised his head again but his brows were furrowed and Aubrey could see that the pain hadn’t lessened in the slightest. She felt her stomach twist.  
“Take a seat, please.”  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed and she leaned even closer. She didn’t want to leave his side. Not when he had such a look of agony.  
Erwin must have seen the worry on her features because he squeezed her hand and spoke.  
“It’s alright, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey could only stare back at him, still not sure that she should leave him.  
“Go, Aubrey. Please.”  
Levi wrapped an arm around her waist and he tugged gently, encouraging her to do as Erwin had said. He could tell that whatever was about to be revealed was serious. Erwin probably wanted her seated and calmed as much as possible.  
“Aubrey.”  
Levi whispered her name and tugged on her waist again, a little harder this time. He needed to get her to the couch, to sit her down and calm her. He could tell that she was panicking.  
Finally, Aubrey loosened her grip on Erwin’s hands and allowed Levi to lead her away from the desk and over to the couch. She sat down and he joined her immediately, wrapping his arm around her waist again and pulling her close. She was glad he’d decided to give her more than just their usual handhold. She would need him, she was sure of it.  
There was silence again as Erwin gathered his thoughts. He knew that every second of the conversation they were about to have would rip all of them to pieces. It would cut deep, more than once.  
But he had to do it.  
Erwin took a deep breath and met Aubrey’s gaze. He could see that she was still worried for him and from the way she was clutching at Levi’s arm around her waist, she was worried herself.  
He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come, and then began to speak.  
“I’m going to tell you two things, both of which will be… hard. But I need you to wait until I finish to react. Can you do that?”  
Erwin’s words were for both of them but he kept his eyes on Aubrey. He knew that Levi would be able to follow those instructions easily, but Aubrey would find it more difficult to stay calm.  
He waited and, after a few seconds, Aubrey nodded.  
Erwin’s brows furrowed and he gathered himself again. This was the hard part.  
He had to get it over with.  
“Saru is dead.”  
The room was quiet, completely still. Everything seemed to pause for a second, as if nobody could process what had just been revealed. And then it set in.  
Aubrey began to shake and Levi pulled her tighter into him, both for her comfort and his own.  
Aubrey couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. Captain Saru had left just that morning on a miniature expedition. It was a simple mission, just standard surveying and mapping. She hadn’t even been gone a day. And now she was dead.  
But Aubrey shook even harder when she realized that there had been a second person on that mission that she knew, that she cared about. Chris.  
Aubrey could barely find her voice to ask the question she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to.  
“Chris?” Her voice was already weak, coming out barely above a whisper.  
Erwin closed his eyes.  
“She’s not among the survivors.”  
A small noise somewhere between a sob and a scream escaped Aubrey’s throat. But before it could turn into anything more, Levi held her tighter and brought his mouth to her ear.  
“Hold on, Aubrey. Two things, remember?”  
Levi’s voice sounded strong but she could still detect an undercurrent of horror. He was shocked, too.  
But, even despite that horror she’d heard, Levi’s voice had been calming enough to help her hold in her sobs. Erwin had something else to tell them and crying now would only force her to endure another round of terror when he told her whatever was left.  
Aubrey exhaled shakily and Levi knew that she was going to be able to contain herself. He kissed her hair and then nodded at Erwin. They were ready to continue.  
Erwin nodded back and he took another breath. This was the really hard part. This part… would change their lives.  
“Do you remember the fundraiser we discussed some time ago?”  
Aubrey’s grief nearly disappeared for a second. He was bringing up a fundraiser? Now?  
But Aubrey found herself unable to speak so she simply nodded yes. Maybe he would explain how a fundraiser could be of any importance at a time like this.  
Erwin sighed and the muscles in his hands flexed as his fingers clasped together even more tightly.  
“The Lord I told you about, he’s made a very large donation to the Scouts.” Erwin paused, bracing himself before he started again. “But it is not a donation of money.”  
Aubrey could feel herself growing more confused by the second. Her expression twisted between grief, horror, and complete bewilderment.  
Erwin didn’t wait for her to ask a question. He had a sense for what she would want to know.  
“He’s given us land. More specifically, land with a castle on it in the northern part of Wall Rose. We could either sell it for what it’s worth, or… we could use it.”  
“How are we supposed to use a shitty old castle?”  
Levi asked the question Aubrey had been wanting to ask and she was grateful that they seemed to be in the same place. Confused.  
Erwin answered almost immediately.  
“I’d like to use it as a training camp.” Erwin had to pause again before he finally said the words that he’d been dreading. “And I’d like you to run it, Aubrey.”  
More silence. Deadly silence. There wasn’t a single sound to be heard. Everyone was frozen, completely lost.  
But then Aubrey found her voice.  
“What?! You want me to run a training camp in the north? You want me to leave?”  
Aubrey could hardly believe it when he only nodded to confirm everything she’d said. She blew up again, unable to comprehend how he could think that such a thing could ever be a good idea.  
“I’m seventeen, Erwin! I can’t run a fucking training camp! And why do we need one, anyway?! We train here! And you wouldn’t have me or Levi on expeditions! Do you not realize how many more would die?! Shit, Erwin, I save at least twenty people every time we go outside the walls! And Levi saves plenty more! You’re going to send us away to run a fucking training camp?!”  
Erwin stared back at her, a hard expression on his face. His features were set in stone and his eyes were burning.  
Aubrey was breathing hard. She was overwhelmed by the insanity of what Erwin had just suggested. And from the way Levi’s muscles were tensed around her, she knew that he was feeling the same way.  
Erwin waited a few more seconds, watching Aubrey’s chest rise and fall rapidly. She was already distressed. And he knew that by the end of their conversation, that distress would be changed to torment.  
“I know you’re only seventeen, Aubrey, but that doesn’t mean you’re not capable. I’d have made you a captain long ago if you would've let me. I trust you. Look at how much you’ve been able to teach Levi in such a short amount of time. And this camp is in the north. It’s inside of Rose, not Maria, but the terrain is similar to what I assume you grew up with. It’s mountainous and cold, especially in the winters. You’re the best suited to navigate that kind of climate and use it to your advantage. And, as for why we need a training camp…” Erwin took a breath. This was where things would get complicated. “I’ve decided that we need to make a change. The regiment isn’t making progress. We aren’t finding anything new or even getting any further beyond the walls. Every expedition is practically a repeat of the last. We need stronger soldiers, soldiers who have been trained to the highest level, who have spent time away from all distractions with improvement as their only focus. I want to send you the most promising soldiers we have, I want you to train them until you think they can’t get any better, and then I want you to send them back. If you do that…” Erwin trailed off for a moment but he soon found his resolve and started up again. “If you do that, maybe we can make a difference. Maybe all of the comrades, friends we’ve lost… maybe their deaths would have meaning.”  
Aubrey felt a tug on her heart.  
Maybe their deaths would have meaning.  
Meaning.  
That meaning had consumed Aubrey from the very second she’d lost her own friends. She’d screamed at Erwin as she’d sat beside their dead bodies, asking him to tell her how their deaths could possibly have had meaning. And she still remembered what he’d told her.  
Their deaths will make you stronger.  
One soldier can make all the difference.  
Erwin was playing her, poking at all of the spots he knew would hit home. And it was working.  
Was this her chance to make a difference? Was this her chance to give her friends’ deaths meaning?  
Aubrey’s head was spinning and she knew that without Levi’s support, she would have fallen to the ground by now. She looked back at him, seeing that he was glaring at Erwin, just barely containing the explosive anger beneath the surface. His face didn’t show his fury… but his eyes did.  
Erwin could see that he needed to finish his speech quickly. Both of them looked ready to shatter.  
“And as for how your absence would affect our fatalities… I have no doubt that it would. But it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. If more deaths now means we can move forward in the future, then that is something I will have to accept. But…”  
Erwin felt his throat close up as he was about to say the words that would hurt the most. There was no doubt that his next suggestion would be the most life-changing, the most painful, the most heart wrenching. It would change everything for Aubrey. And for Levi, too. Erwin sucked in a long breath but he had to avert his eyes from Aubrey’s face as he spoke. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to bear her expression.  
“But I wouldn’t be sending both of you away.”  
There was just the slightest pause and then Levi spoke.  
“What?”  
Erwin heard Levi's voice cut through the air like a knife. He was already catching on to his plan.  
Erwin hurried to finish what he had left to say. If he didn’t do it now, he wouldn’t get the chance.  
“Saru is dead. That means the Special Operations Squad is without a captain. And with Aubrey gone, you would be the only one fit to fill that position, Levi. If Aubrey goes, I need you to stay.”  
Silence. Again.  
And then a growl.  
“Absolutely not.”  
Erwin looked up to see Levi seething, his lips pulled back from his teeth. For a moment, Erwin thought he might break something or even attack.  
But then he saw Aubrey’s body slide into Levi’s lap and Levi turned his attention to her fully. He wiped silent tears from her face and held her close. Erwin could hear his whispers of “it’s alright”, “you’re not going anywhere”, “we’re not going anywhere”, and countless other reassurances.  
It was… horrifying.  
In just a few minutes, he’d caused them so much pain. He’d never seen two people more fit for each other and now he was pulling them apart… all for the tiniest hope that maybe they’d all get their questions answered, get the future they deserved.  
Eventually, Erwin couldn’t take it anymore and he said his last piece.  
“I won’t force you to go, Aubrey. The decision is yours.”  
Suddenly, Levi's head snapped to look at him, the soft demeanor he’d been using with Aubrey completely disappearing.  
“We’ve already made our fucking decision. She’s not going anywhere.”  
“If that’s what you want.”  
Erwin nodded but his eyes were caught on Aubrey’s face. Tears were still flowing from her eyes. If she’d decided not to go, then why was she still crying?”  
Just a second later, Erwin watched as Levi lifted Aubrey into his arms and headed for the door.  
“We’re leaving and we’re going to pretend this shit never happened. Never mention this again. It’s not an option now and it never will be. Quit playing with people’s lives and find another way to train your shitty regiment.”  
Levi’s hand reached for the knob and he looked back at Erwin one last time. When he got the nod he was waiting for, he yanked the door open and walked out, not even bothering to close it behind him.  
Erwin watched as they disappeared around the corner. All he could do was sit, his chin resting in his hands as he thought about what was coming. From the look on Aubrey’s face… he knew she’d made up her mind. She was going to go. The only question was whether or not Levi would kill him when he found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, um… sorry. Big sad. Crying. I know. It’s bad. I’m the worst. I guess this explains the ten year gap between this book and the next, huh? But I PROMISE it has a reason. (Y/N) has to become a good teacher so she can teach a certain someone a certain set of skills. Is that too vague? Idk. Plus, this is AOT… I can’t just let everyone be happy lol. I’m still sorry :(  
> Lots of angst in the coming chapters. But it will be over soon y’all.  
> I hope this ending doesn’t seem too cheesy or far-fetched. It’s definitely not part of the canon AOT universe but… neither is (Y/N) lol. I felt like this was a good way to work her into the plot of AOT. I needed to explain why Levi was captain of Special Ops and not her and I needed to set up characters that she’s going to have on her own squad.  
> And, like, I know ten years is a long time but… (Spoiler Alert lol) Book 2 is going to skip ahead to when they’re together again, so… I guess we won’t have to endure the pain of their separation for too long??? I hope that makes it a little better lol.  
> Okay, that’s all I’ve got. If you think this ending is too cheesy please leave a comment and tell me. It was alright in my daydreaming brain but as I was writing I was starting to doubt it. But I do that a lot lol. I just don’t want to ruin the story with a bad/unrealistic ending, ya know? I don’t know. Maybe I need a beta reader or something lol. Anyway, leave a comment. Thanks :))


	56. Chapter 56

The sound of a lock clicking into place filled the silence of their room as Levi closed the door behind them. Their walk back from Erwin’s office had seemed a thousand times longer than it ever had before. Aubrey was still crying, silent tears sliding down her cheeks, and Levi had spent the entire time wiping them from her skin and whispering that everything was alright. She didn’t have to go anywhere. She wasn’t going to go anywhere. Things were going to stay the same way they’d been for the last six months. It was going to be just him and her, happy.  
Levi walked over to the bed and set Aubrey down before kneeling at her feet. His hand went to her face, wiping away even more tears. She was staring down at her lap blankly, her mouth slightly parted as she drew in shaky breaths.  
Levi pulled her forehead to his and spoke just loud enough for her to hear.  
“Stop crying, Aubrey. Nothing’s going to change. We’re going to be okay.”  
At first, Aubrey didn’t respond. But then, after a few seconds of tortuous silence, Levi saw her arms lift weakly as she reached for him.  
“Levi…”  
Levi didn’t hesitate to give her exactly what she was asking for. He pulled her into his chest and moved them further onto the bed before lowering their bodies to the mattress. Levi held her tightly, his lips going to her ear as he continued to whisper to her.  
“It’s alright, Aubrey. He’s not going to send you anywhere.”  
He pulled her even closer, his arms pressing into her back as he tried to calm her in any way he could.  
“Levi…”  
Aubrey seemed incapable of saying anything but his name. But Levi didn’t care. He didn’t need her to respond. He’d just hold her until she could.  
Levi moved his mouth to her jaw, kissing along her skin until he reached her chin and then moving down to her neck. He kept going, not knowing when or if Aubrey would ever speak. Perhaps she’d just fall asleep in his arms. That would probably be for the best.  
But then she spoke again.  
“Levi…”  
Levi just kept his lips on her neck, expecting that she would stop after saying his name, just as she’d done before.  
But this time she said more.  
“I… I have to.”  
Levi froze for a second and then pulled away from her neck, his hand going to her cheek as he looked her in the eyes. Tears were still spilling over and her skin was red and blotchy. Her voice had been shaky, pained, and her lips were quivering even as she stared back at him.  
“Have to what?”  
Levi’s brows were furrowed as he looked at her. He didn’t understand what she was saying.  
Levi kept watching her expression as her lips continued to tremble. Her jaw opened and closed as she tried to speak but he could see that she was having a hard time forming the words. He leaned into her, his face coming within just a few inches of her own.  
“What do you need, Aubrey?”  
Somehow, despite the pain and torture she knew her next words would cause the both of them, Aubrey found her voice.  
“I need to do this. I have to go.”  
Aubrey felt Levi’s fingers press a little harder into her cheek as his body went completely still. His face went completely white and Aubrey saw his eyes flash as they widened.  
Levi could barely process what she’d just said. Not even for a second had he considered the idea that Aubrey might actually accept Erwin’s offer. How could she? It went against everything they wanted, everything they needed. They needed each other. If she left, Levi was sure he’d fall apart. He couldn’t lose another person. Especially not the most important person.  
Levi couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. He felt like he was being torn apart, pieces of him being scattered in all directions. He could barely remember where he was, what was happening. All he knew was the agony.  
Only when he heard Aubrey begin to sob did he return to his body. His eyes focused back in on her face just as she reached for him, her arms wrapping around his neck and her head going into the curve of his neck as she cried, speaking in between sobs.  
“I’m sorry, Levi. I have to. I have to. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”  
For another moment, Levi couldn’t speak. He was still overwhelmed by the pain. But then the pain was joined by a fire in his chest. A fire that only grew until it overtook everything else and Levi exploded.  
He pulled out of Aubrey’s grip, sitting up instantly. Before he knew it, his head twisted to look back at her, his lips pulling back from his teeth as he snapped.  
“No. Absolutely fucking not. You’re not going anywhere, Aubrey. I’m not going to let you go anywhere.”  
Aubrey looked up at him, her eyes widening in shock even as she continued to sob. They’d fought before and Levi had gotten angry… but she’d never seen him this furious. His muscles were tensed like he was ready to pounce, his teeth were exposed as he snarled at her, and his eyes... were on fire.  
Aubrey sobbed again, even louder this time as the anguish became too difficult to hold back. She scrambled around on the mattress, her hands reaching for Levi as she desperately tried to get some kind of contact. She’d lost his touch when he’d sat up and she needed him.  
But just as her arms were about to wrap around his neck, he disappeared.  
Aubrey fell onto the bed. She’d been expecting Levi’s body to hold her up but he wasn’t there and her hands barely caught her in time to prevent her face from falling straight into the mattress.  
Her eyes searched for him, finding that he’d moved off the bed and was standing a few feet away, his fists clenched so tightly that the skin was stretched white over his knuckles.  
Aubrey didn’t try to go after him; she didn’t have the strength. Instead, she slumped completely onto the bed, curling into a ball, crying as she attempted to speak.  
“Levi… I have to do this. If there’s even the smallest chance that I can make a difference… I have to do it.”  
Levi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. When he answered her, he was practically screaming.  
“I don’t give a shit what kind of difference you think you can make, Aubrey! You’re not leaving and that’s the end of it!”  
Aubrey sobbed harder when she heard him shouting at her. She couldn’t even answer him. Every word had cut deeper than the next and she was already feeling like she’d been cut to pieces. All she could do was lay there and cry as the seconds ticked by.  
“Say something, Aubrey!”  
Levi shouted again and Aubrey suddenly felt something shift within her. Levi’s anger and impatience were making her resentful. Now she wasn’t just hurt, she was mad, too. Why couldn’t he just comfort her?  
She shot up, getting herself back into a seated position. She looked right at him and she was sure that her own rage now matched his.  
“This is not the end of it! Think about everyone we’ve lost! Tika and Jack, Isabel and Furlan, even Saru and Chris! They’re all gone and I don’t even know why! What did they die for, Levi?! For humanity, for us?! What does that even mean?! Because I don’t fucking know! If we can’t progress, if we can’t move forward, then their deaths meant nothing! And that’s not something that I can live with!”  
Levi felt a twang in his gut. Their friends’ deaths were still with them. Their losses were no longer haunting, looming, but every so often something would come up that would remind them of just how horrible it had been to have those close to them ripped away for a cause they couldn’t even name.  
But the anger was still all-consuming and it quickly overcame all feelings of remorse.  
“Well, I can’t live without you! Our friends are dead, Aubrey! Dead! But you are not! And as long as you’re alive, I’m not letting you go anywhere! I don’t care what kind of reason you’re looking for! I need you! Here!”  
Aubrey could barely even see him. The tears in her eyes had made the whole room blurry and she raised her hands to her eyes as she tried to wipe them away.  
“Don’t you know I need you, too?! You are everything to me, Levi! But that’s why I have to go!”  
Levi shook his head, still seething.  
“How the fuck is leaving me part of how you love me, Aubrey?!”  
Aubrey stared at him, trying to think how she could express what she meant. For a moment, she couldn’t think of a solution… but then it came to her and she wondered how she’d ever forgotten it in the first place. Her feelings had clouded her judgement. When words failed them, touch always seemed to work.  
Aubrey didn’t waste any time. She crawled off the bed and walked over to Levi, grabbing his face before he could even think about moving away.  
She was still angry but she could feel her demeanor softening with every second she stared into his eyes. He was in so much pain. Pain just barely concealed by his anger.  
Aubrey stared up at him and she could feel the sobs threatening to return. She pushed them down even though her eyes were already shedding silent tears again. She had to speak.  
“Levi…”  
Levi was surprised when her voice came out sounding soft and sad. Almost all traces of the fury she’d been showing just moments ago had disappeared. The contrast was enough to shock him into staying still as she spoke her next words.  
“Do you remember that night at the pond when we talked about what we would do if all of this ever ended?”  
Levi’s eyes widened. Why was she bringing that up now?  
Aubrey waited for a nod or a confirmation of any kind but it never came. It seemed like Levi was frozen, unable to respond. She sighed. She would just have to go on and hope that he was listening.  
“Do you remember when you said that you would marry me one day? That you’d take me away and buy me all of the chocolate I wanted? That if the titans ever disappeared, we would open a shop in town? That, just maybe, we could have a child and start a family?”  
Levi was still frozen. But he remembered. He remembered perfectly. How could he ever forget?  
This time, Aubrey didn’t wait for any kind of reaction. She just kept going.  
She pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together until they were touching in nearly every way. Her hand caressed his cheek as she felt even more tears slide over her skin. The sobs were threatening to escape and she knew that when she spoke, her voice would be shaky and rough. But she had to do it.  
“Do you know how much I want that? Do you know how much I think of that? Do you know how many times my dreams have been filled with flashes of what our lives could be if all of this was over?”  
Aubrey had been right about her voice shaking. But she wasn’t done yet.  
“I want it so bad, Levi. I want you, just you, so bad. I want just you and I in a world where all of this shit doesn’t exist, where there isn’t any meaningless death, where there isn’t a titan left alive.”  
Aubrey felt Levi’s hand on her waist and she started to see the anger leave his features, revealing the torture underneath.  
“And if this, if going away gives us even the tiniest chance at that… then I have to do it. I know it’s farfetched. I know it probably won’t make a difference. But if I don’t do this… I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering what would be different if I had.”  
Levi’s other hand found her waist and she saw him staring down at her. The anger was gone, leaving only agony in its place. She hadn’t seen him so pained since Isabel and Furlan’s deaths. She pulled his forehead to hers as the sobs started to take over.  
“So… please, Levi… Let me do this. For us.”  
Aubrey wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. It wasn’t long before she felt her legs being lifted from the ground and then felt the mattress sink beneath her as Levi lowered her onto the bed and wrapped his arms around her.  
She stayed there for a moment, her tears soaking Levi’s shirt as she cried into him. But then she realized that she wasn’t the only one shaking. She pulled her head back only to find that… Levi was crying, too. The sight broke her in half.  
She wrapped a hand around his neck and brought his lips to hers. The taste of salt hit her tongue as their tears mixed together. Levi’s fingers found her cheek and then slid into her hair, holding her even more tightly against him.  
Levi couldn’t even handle the pain anymore. He’d just given in to it. It slid over him in waves that never ended and only seemed to grow stronger each time. And there was nothing he could do to stop them.  
He broke away from their kiss but he kept Aubrey’s lips close enough that their mouths brushed as he spoke.  
“I can’t lose you.”  
Aubrey squeezed her eyes shut as more tears fell. His voice was barely audible and he sounded… broken.  
Aubrey clutched him to her, grabbing at him so furiously that she thought they might fuse into one.  
“You never will, Levi. No matter what happens, you’ll always have me. Whether I’m here or in the north, I’ll always be yours. Forever.”  
Aubrey knew that wasn’t quite what he’d meant, but she needed him to hear it nonetheless. Levi would always be hers and she would always be his. That would never change. Not for anything.  
Aubrey could feel him shaking in her arms and she could only think of one thing to say. For the thousandth time, she wanted to tell him just how much she loved him.  
“I love you, Levi. I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much that sometimes I don’t think it can be real. Sometimes I think that the world messed up and gave me something I don’t deserve.” Aubrey had to pause as her throat closed. She took a deep breath before she continued. “I love you so much that no matter how many times I try, I’ll never be able to tell you just how much you mean to me. But I can tell you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. There is nothing better than you.”  
Aubrey took another breath as she tried to gather the strength to finish her speech.  
“So, when I’m in the north, when I haven’t seen you in months… just remember that I will always love you. That, I’ll never love you less, only more. And that you are the best thing I’ve ever done.”  
Aubrey stopped, breathless from the emotion she’d put into her words. She’d meant every one of them.  
Levi was still crying, his eyes glassy as he stared at her. She knew he wouldn’t be able to answer her. He still struggled to tell her how he felt. He was better at showing.  
So she kissed him. Aubrey kissed him until they were both completely out of air, and even then she just moved to his jaw, his neck, his collarbone, as he ran his fingers through her hair.  
They kept holding each other until they ran out of skin to kiss and they pulled back to look at each other.  
Levi barely waited a second before he spoke.  
“You don’t have to go.”  
Aubrey had to choke down a sob. His voice was quiet, soft, sad. This time, he wasn’t refusing to let her go, he was just saying he didn’t want her to.  
Aubrey just pushed her head into his chest and squeezed him.  
“I do, Levi. I do.”  
There was silence after that. The two of them just gripped at one another so tightly that, had they not been so desperate for contact, it probably would have hurt.  
Hours passed by with more tears being shed than Aubrey knew she could ever count. She wasn’t sure if Levi had truly accepted her decision or not, but they were both too exhausted to keep fighting about it now. Their argument had used up everything they had.  
Eventually, the sunlight disappeared completely from their room and not long after that, Aubrey realized that Levi had stopped shaking. She pulled away from him to look at his face, only to find that he’d fallen asleep. Aubrey could understand why. Her body had been screaming at her to close her eyes the second their fight had ended. Not only had she been weakened by their quarrel, but she’d also been hurt by it. Her mind had just wanted her to sleep, to escape the pain that lingered every second she was awake.  
But she hadn’t. In fact, she’d been waiting for Levi to give in first. There was something she needed to do, something that he would no doubt spark another fight the second he found out. But she still had to do it. She’d already made her decision.  
Ever so slowly, Aubrey crept out of Levi’s arms and out of the bed, noticing that his face didn’t hold the usually peaceful expression she’d come to admire. His brows were furrowed and a small frown graced his lips. Aubrey nearly sobbed at the sight. Even his sleep wasn’t helping him escape from the torture she’d put him through.  
But, despite her horror, Aubrey forced herself to turn away and head for the door. She didn’t bother to look in the mirror or straighten herself before she left. She didn’t care.  
After one last glance at a still sleeping Levi, Aubrey put her hand on the knob and slid silently into the hallway.  
What felt like a quick pace to her was probably ten times slower than anyone else’s casual walk. She was drained, beaten, and every step was a struggle. But, eventually, even with her sluggish movements, Aubrey made it to her destination.  
She didn’t think Erwin would be in his office anymore. It was late and she had a feeling he wasn’t in a place to be doing any more paperwork today. So… she’d come to his room. It wasn’t the first time she’d come to his private quarters. Just after Jack and Tika had died, she’d been here countless times. Erwin had always let her in, staying up with her as late as she wanted as she tried to avoid the nightmares that plagued her sleep.  
But she wasn’t here because of nightmares.  
Aubrey raised her hand and knocked on the door. She waited patiently, staring at the wood in front of her blankly until it finally swung away and Erwin’s form took its place.  
He was still in his uniform and his eyes still held the pained look they had earlier. Aubrey wasn’t surprised. She knew Erwin wasn’t cruel. He didn’t want to hurt her. But he had a goal and he would do anything to get there. Aubrey had known that from the day she’d pledged her life to him. It was who he was. And, despite that, she still loved him. She always would.  
“Aubrey.”  
Erwin stared down at her, a little shocked that she’d appeared. He hadn’t thought he’d see her again tonight or maybe even tomorrow. He’d figured that her and Levi would be… occupied.  
But, from what he could see, maybe that occupation had already finished. Aubrey’s cheeks were stained with dried tears, her hair was messy, her uniform was crumpled, and her eyes were red, puffy, and… blank. She looked like the life had left her body.  
Erwin pulled the door open a little further and stepped to the side.  
“Would you like to come in?”  
Aubrey just nodded as she walked past him. She was still exhausted, horrified, in complete and total agony. And yet, she had to do this.  
Aubrey immediately walked to the chair in the middle of the room. She sat down and Erwin took a seat across from her. His room was big enough to hold a small seating area but the rest of it looked fairly similar to many of the other rooms in the castle.  
There was silence for a few long moments as Aubrey tried to find her voice. She felt like her throat was too sore to speak and her lungs were too weak to breathe. But, somehow, she pulled herself together and looked Erwin in the eyes.  
She steeled herself as she felt the pain throbbing even more powerfully throughout her body. After she did this, there would be no going back. But she was sure.  
Finally, Aubrey took a deep breath and her words filled the quiet room.  
“I’ll go.”  
Erwin sighed and hung his head. It was both the answer he wanted and the answer he hated to hear.  
After a second he met her eyes again. He couldn’t leave it at that. There was much more to discuss.  
“And Levi?”  
Erwin saw a single tear slide down Aubrey’s cheek.  
“He’s… upset. He’s sleeping right now. He… doesn’t know I’m here.”  
Erwin’s brows furrowed. Maybe their fight wasn’t over.  
“He doesn’t agree with your decision.” Erwin’s words were more of a statement than a question.  
Aubrey shook her head as she held back an overwhelming urge to sob.  
“Of course he doesn’t. Can you blame him? But… I think… I think he understands why I need to go. Even if he doesn’t agree with my logic. It might take a few more days, but… I think I can make him… well, not agree, but maybe… acquiesce.”  
Erwin’s gaze fell to the floor. This whole situation was almost unbearable.  
“I see.”  
There was quiet for a short while and then Erwin heard Aubrey suck in a breath.  
“When do you want me to leave?”  
Erwin's head snapped up. He hadn’t been expecting her to be so ready to discuss the details. But if she wanted to work out the kinks now rather than later, then that’s what they would do.  
“Whenever you’re ready, Aubrey. I won’t rush you.”  
Aubrey nodded and Erwin could only see how distant she looked. She thought for a moment and then her mouth opened again.  
“Give me a week.”  
Erwin’s eyes widened.  
“So soon?”  
Aubrey nodded again and he saw her bite her lip.  
“Waiting will only make it harder.”  
Erwin stared at her for a moment and then sighed.  
“I understand.”  
He expected another round of silence to overtake them but Aubrey spoke again after just a second.  
“Give me a couple weeks after I leave to get things organized. Start by sending me a group of no more than five. Maybe a couple of the new recruits. That boy, Eld, he looks good. Send him if you want.”  
For a moment, Erwin was speechless. She’d already thought so far ahead. Even through her fight with Levi, her mind must have been working.  
Finally, Erwin found his voice and answered her.  
“Of course. Whatever you need.”  
“And, Erwin?”  
She continued so quickly that Erwin had to take a second before he could answer.  
“Yes?”  
Aubrey’s blank expression suddenly shifted to pure pain and Erwin nearly choked at the sight. It was so intense, so deep that he almost couldn’t look at her.  
Aubrey took a shuddering breath and she felt more tears fall down her face as she struggled to hold back a scream.  
“I… we can’t be apart for…” Aubrey could hardly even say the next word. “years. We need to see each other, even if it’s only for a little while every few months. I… I can’t live without him.”  
Erwin had to close his eyes. The sorrow in her voice and on her features was too much. But he needed to answer her now. He needed to soothe her worries in whatever way he could. Even if it was just a small promise.  
“I have no intention of separating you forever, Aubrey. I’ll extend the leave time that both of you receive. Feel free to come back home for yours. Whatever soldiers you have in the north can use your time away as their own leave. And Levi can go to you for his own time. The members of his squad can just train with the others while he’s gone.”  
Aubrey nodded and bit the inside of her cheek as she contained her pain. It was all so much. Hearing Erwin say those words out loud made it all seem so… real.  
But she still found her voice.  
“Thank you, Erwin.”  
Erwin shook his head.  
“You don’t need to thank me, Aubrey. I’m the one who should be thanking you. Extending your leave is the least I can do.”  
Aubrey just nodded again. She just had one last thing to say.  
“When I’m gone, Erwin, please… love him.”  
Erwin’s eyes widened even further as she spoke. And even though she saw his reaction, she just continued on.  
“I know that might be a strange thing to ask, but… I need you to love him, please. Make him your friend, make him your family, and make sure he knows just how valuable he is. He’s too good for this world. He doesn’t like to show it, but… he cares more than almost anyone. And he deserves all of that care back and more. So take care of him, protect him. Please… love him. For me.”  
Erwin could only stare at her for a moment. Her request wasn’t something he was sure he could promise. Levi would probably hate him for sending away the one person he had left. But if this was Aubrey’s last wish, then he would do his best to make it come true.  
“I’ll try, Aubrey. I promise.”  
Aubrey lifted her hand to her face, wiping away the tears that never seemed to end. She paused for a moment and then, finally, she stood. She moved to Erwin, putting her hand on his cheek as he gazed at her. For some reason, she just couldn’t bring herself to hate him, or even to be mad at him. He was sending her away, separating her from the one person who had ever made her feel complete. He was shattering her. But he was giving her the opportunity to make a difference. Whatever that even meant. And, maybe, if she was lucky, that difference would mean a life for her and Levi that they never thought they’d get to see.  
Aubrey looked in his eyes, noticing for the millionth time how they always seemed to pierce straight through her, seemed to see straight to her soul. She took a deep breath but her lungs audibly shuddered and she could feel her sobs starting to overcome her. She’d have to finish this quickly.  
“I love you, Erwin. If you ask for my heart, know that you will always have it. No matter what.”  
Erwin found himself unable to move. He couldn’t count the times he’d asked his soldiers to give him their hearts. And Aubrey... she had never failed to give hers. All of it. Even now.  
Aubrey knew she had to act before he could respond. If she heard his reply, she would break. So, just before he opened his mouth, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. And then, without so much as a second glance, she turned on her heel and left, shutting the door gently behind her.  
Aubrey made her way back to Levi, crying softly the whole way. It was late and there was no one else in the halls, which left her with only the echoes of her own sobs to keep her company. When she reached the door of their room, she quieted herself. She was still crying, only silently. She stepped inside, seeing that Levi was still asleep with that same tortured look on his face. The sight almost made her scream but she held it in. She couldn’t wake him right now. If she did, she’d have to tell him about what she’d just done, and she didn’t have the willpower to endure another fight right now. She would fall apart.  
Instead, she carefully crawled onto the bed, sliding in next to him and wrapping his sleeping body around her own. She stayed there, shaking and sobbing silently as she held him until the pain became too much and her mind forced into a sleep of deep, dark, nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, the angst. So much crying. So much sad. I cannot. Somebody remind me why I did this lol.  
> BUT, I am so happy to hear that y’all don’t think this is a cheesy/bad ending. The consensus seems to be that it’s a-okay. So… yay :) And I’m glad that my re-explanation of Book 2 helped some people out. I know it can get a little confusing when it’s a series and there’s a time jump and all of that stuff.  
> There’s going to be a lot more sad in the last chapter of this book. In fact, I think there’s only going to be sad. So, prepare yourselves lol.  
> Anyway, I CANNOT believe the end of this book is so close. I am floored. It is the ultimate bittersweet feeling. I am still planning to eat a whole cake lol.  
> But the COMMENTS on the last chapter. I seriously cried like 10 times over while reading them. Y’all are literally the sweetest people ever. You make me feel SO HAPPY. Every time someone says that they think they’re being annoying by leaving so many comments I cry a little die a little bit because you could leave a comment every two seconds and I would read ALL of them. Okay, I’ll shut about the comments now. But, still… leave one, please. I seriously love y’all. :) <3


	57. Chapter 57

Aubrey waited until the end of the week to start packing. She knew that the sight of her things disappearing into bags would send Levi into a spiral. Actually, she was a little worried that it would send her into a spiral, too. But she’d left it too long and now she had no choice. She’d be leaving in the morning and she’d yet to pack even a single shirt.  
Erwin had given both her and Levi the day off from training. Aubrey wasn’t sure if that was better or worse. Without the distraction, she was sure that her mind would wander to places that would make the pain nearly unbearable. But… she also wanted every moment with Levi that she could possibly get. They didn’t have many left.  
Levi hadn’t been happy when Aubrey had told him about her trip to see Erwin. Just as Aubrey had suspected, they’d gotten into another fight. This one had raged for hours with long stretches where neither of them could even speak through their tears. But, eventually, it had ended in the way that almost all of their fights did. They’d grown so exhausted, so broken, that the only thing that would help was each other. Before they’d been able to stop themselves, they’d been wrapped in each other’s embrace. Aubrey had just repeated to him how much she loved him, how badly she wished she could stay but also why she needed to go. She’d had to whisper to him for what seemed like forever before finally, finally, Levi had made a switch. His words turned from “you can’t go” to “when you go” and Aubrey had known that she’d gotten through to him. He’d accepted, no matter how reluctantly, that she was going to leave.  
After that it hadn’t been a matter of deciding whether or not Aubrey was actually going to go, it had been a matter of being as close to each other as possible before they were ripped apart. The rest of their week had been spent quietly. They’d hadn’t spoken much, just held each other tightly, trying to savor every touch. They’d still gone to training, though. They’d needed the distraction. If they’d allowed themselves to stay in bed all day, they would have crumbled over and over again. Just the nights they spent together were already hard enough.  
But now, the time had come to face reality. Aubrey would be gone by this time tomorrow and they both knew it. Whether they were ready or not, it was time to start saying goodbye.  
Aubrey turned her attention to the closet as she finally resolved to finally start filling her bags. It felt strange, otherworldly, as she walked toward the door. She’d never thought that she would be moving out so soon after moving in. She and Levi had only gotten a few months of bliss, just a short time in which they could be together with nothing in their way. She had a feeling that it would be a very long time before they could live like that again.  
Aubrey’s hand hit the knob on the closet door and she gently pulled it open. All of their clothes were hung neatly. Every single shirt looked pristine and crisp. Levi made sure they stayed that way.  
Aubrey reached for one, pulling it out slowly and then proceeding to fold it. She hesitated for just a moment, realizing that this was the beginning of a hard journey, and then after a deep breath, set it in the box at her feet. She reached for another, repeating the process all over again. She went for another and another until she finally came to the last one. She smoothly removed it from its hanger and pulled it to her body as she started to fold. But when her eyes landed on the fabric, she paused. Her eyes widened the tiniest bit and she sucked in a sharp breath as she saw what she was holding. It was the shirt that they’d bought together on their first trip into town. A spark of pain started to rush through her but it was quickly cut off by the sound of a voice.  
“Aubrey?”  
Aubrey turned around to see Levi coming out of the kitchen. They’d just eaten lunch and he’d been cleaning up. But he must have heard her gasp and now he was standing across the room, his eyes flicking between the shirt in her hands and the half-filled box on the floor. She’d hadn’t told him she was going to start packing.  
There was silence for a moment. Aubrey didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t hide this from him, she couldn’t make it disappear like she tried to do with everything else that caused him pain. This wouldn’t go away no matter how hard she tried.  
More seconds slipped by and the torture of the quiet started to become too much. Aubrey still didn’t know what she should tell him, be she had to tell him something, anything. But just as she was about to speak, Levi moved toward her.  
She watched him as he walked across the room, the floorboards creaking beneath his feet. His eyes were on the shirt in her hands.  
He stopped in front of her, pausing for just a moment before he took the clothing from her. Aubrey stared at him, seeing his brows furrow as his eyes scanned the fabric. He obviously remembered what it was.  
Aubrey was about to open her mouth again, to comfort him, to reassure him, anything, but, once again, he acted before she could even get a word out.  
Levi folded the shirt quickly and then, without a second glance, he placed it in the box.  
When he looked back up, Aubrey met his eyes. He could see the pain lurking just beneath the surface of her features, threatening to spring forward at any second. But now wasn’t the time for tears. It was the middle of the day. If they started crying now, they wouldn’t be able to stop.  
So, Levi grabbed her hand and led her back into the closet.  
Aubrey could only watch again as he picked up the first pair of her pants he found, folded them, and put them in the box. He kept going, folding and packing, folding and packing.  
Aubrey could hardly take it. He was helping her. He was helping her pack.  
The thought was both agonizing and comforting. On one hand, the idea of Levi helping her pack away her things so that she could leave him threatened to tear her heart in two. But then… him helping her also meant that he’d actually come to terms with the fact that she was going to go. It was no longer just a silent acceptance. Now, he was more than just accepting it… he was supporting her.  
Aubrey reached for him, her hand gripping his shoulder as she turned him around to face her. When he looked at her, Aubrey could see that his brows were still furrowed and a small frown covered his lips. She suspected that she looked the same way.  
Aubrey wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, feeling a tension release within her. Up until now, the both of them had avoided talking about her leaving at all. But now, Aubrey knew that Levi was with her. He was on her side, on her team. He wasn’t going to resent her as she’d feared. He was going to help her make it all work.  
“Levi…”  
Aubrey felt his arms slide around her waist and squeeze her tightly. The touch sent a ripple of flames through her entire body, warming her from the inside out. Her head went into the curve of his neck and she held onto him like her life depended on it.  
Levi’s lips pressed into her hair and Aubrey had to choke back tears as she spoke.  
‘We can do this. We can do this.”  
Levi closed his eyes as a wave of agony washed over him. But he knew he couldn’t give in to it. Aubrey needed him. They’d been putting off this pain as long as they possibly could… but they were running out of time. And now was the time to tell her what he knew she needed to hear. She needed to hear that no matter how heartbroken he was by the idea of losing her… he would still stand by her side.  
“I know we can. I know.”  
Aubrey clutched at strands of his hair, trying to get him closer in any way possible.  
“It’s only a couple months. Just a couple months and then you’ll come to the north and we can be together for a while. We can do that. We can handle a couple months.”  
Levi knew that her words were just as much for her own comfort as for his. All he could do was hope that she was right. He hoped that he could handle two months apart from her. After spending every day with her for the last six months, he was sure that he’d want her after she’d been gone just a couple of hours. But he couldn’t say that. Not out loud. They both knew it was the truth but they couldn’t acknowledge it with words. It would only make things harder.  
“Yes, just two months. We can do it.”  
At this point, Aubrey was practically clawing at him. She was on the brink of tears and his body was the only thing holding her together.  
Levi knew it, too. He knew that she was on the edge of breaking and he knew that somehow he needed to hold her together. He held her tighter, so tightly that it was probably uncomfortable, but Aubrey didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. She just held him the same way.  
Levi turned his lips into her ear and spoke softly.  
“You’re strong, Aubrey. You can get through this.”  
Aubrey would have pulled back to look at his face but she was afraid that the loss of any kind of contact would cause a kind of pain she couldn’t handle. So, instead, she just whispered into the skin of his neck.  
“So can you.”  
Levi hung his head, his mouth pressing into her shoulder before he spoke again.  
“We can do this… together. For however long it takes.”  
Aubrey nodded, trying to absorb his words and make them true. God, she hoped they were true.  
“I know we can. As long as we do it together… I know we can.”  
Levi took a deep breath. For as long as she needed him to, he would stand by her, stand by her decision. They would always do this together.  
“Aubrey... I love you.”  
Aubrey nodded, pressing her lips against his neck and trying her hardest not to cry.  
“I love you, too.”  
After that it was silent for a time. Aubrey was still gripping at Levi in any way she could and he was still holding her a little too tightly. It was all they knew to do.  
The sound of their slightly labored breathing was the only thing that could be heard for minutes before Levi finally spoke again. His voice, even though it was barely above a whisper, seemed almost deafening in the quietness of the room.  
“Let’s go to the pond tonight.”  
Aubrey hardly had to think before nodding her head and agreeing. There was no other place that she’d want to spend her last night with him.  
Levi sighed as an invisible weight lifted from his shoulders. Tonight was important. In more ways than one. And spending it at the pond was exactly what he wanted.  
But, with that settled, Levi knew that he needed to get them back to work. She was going to leave in the morning no matter what and so far she only had her shirts and a few pairs of pants packed.  
Levi raised a hand to her hair, stroking the back of her head gently as he spoke.  
“Let’s keep going. When we finish we can make dinner. Then we’ll go.”  
He heard Aubrey take a shaky breath and then he felt her press her lips to his neck one last time before she started to loosen her grip. As soon as she’d pulled far enough away, Levi pressed their foreheads together as they took one last minute to be close.  
They stood there, breathing and feeling each other’s presence, and then Levi took Aubrey’s hand and pulled her back to the closet.  
He got to work immediately, folding more pairs of her pants and setting them in the box. After a few seconds, Aubrey joined him and soon they had the box full of her clothes.  
Aubrey looked at what was left hanging in the closet. It was just Levi’s clothing now. The sight was terrifying and it sent a jolt through her body. It just didn’t seem right. Their clothes were meant to hang together. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.  
Aubrey felt Levi’s hand on hers. He must have noticed the horror on her face.  
Aubrey stared at him, memorizing his features as a way to calm herself. And, just as always, she got lost. Within just a few seconds she’d already been pulled into him completely and her horror lessened to a dull ache. She leaned forward and Levi met her halfway, kissing her lightly.  
When they broke away, Aubrey looked at him for a second longer and then her eyes returned to the closet. Without hesitating, she reached for one of Levi’s shirts, pulling it off of its hanger and holding it in her hands as she gazed down at it.  
Levi watched her, wondering why she seemed so fascinated by nothing but a plain shirt, but then she glanced up at him and opened her mouth.  
“Can I take this?”  
Suddenly, he understood. She wanted to keep it as a reminder of him.  
Levi reached into the box of her packed things and pulled out a shirt of her own. He looked back to her as he held the fabric in his hands.  
“Only if I can take this.”  
Aubrey gave him a sad smile.  
“Deal.”  
Levi put her shirt back on a hanger and Aubrey folded his and set it in the box. Now their clothes would still be together, the way they were meant to be. Plus, she’d have just one more piece of Levi to hold on to.  
They continued packing, putting away her socks, undergarments, boots, straps, and everything else they found. Finally, there was only one last thing in the closet that Aubrey needed to go through.  
She reached into the deepest part of the space until her hand found what she was looking for. Levi watched as she pulled out a box of Tika’s things. His eyes flicked to her face but he found no signs of discomfort. In fact, she was gazing at the box with a tender expression. He knew that her grief had lessened tremendously since they’d been together. It had been only a couple of months after they’d moved in together that she’d started to laugh and tell him stories about her former friends, occasionally even going through their boxes to show him a specific object. And a few months ago, Levi had started to do the same. It felt good to remember the times they’d spent with their friends that hadn’t been shrouded in terror and pain. In the midst of grief it was easy to forget about the good times. But they’d gotten through the worst and now thinking of their friends was usually… happy.  
Aubrey opened the box, sifting through it and occasionally taking out an item here or there. Levi could identify a couple of shirts and Tika’s diary among the items she’d chosen to take with her. She quickly moved on to Jack’s things, again taking a couple of shirts and then a letter that he’d never gotten to send. She was closing the box when Levi suddenly saw her freeze. At first, he thought something was wrong, but just as he was about to reach for her… she laughed.  
It was Levi’s turn to freeze. What could possibly be making her laugh?  
Aubrey continued to chuckle as she dug around in the box to grab what she’d seen. She’d almost completely forgotten about it.  
After a few seconds of rooting through the contents of the box, Aubrey’s fingers finally found what she was looking for.  
She pulled it out and lifted it up so that Levi could see exactly what had made her smile. The cravat.  
“Ya know, I gave this to you and you’ve never worn it. That’s kind of rude.”  
For a moment, Levi could only stare at her, bewildered by how quickly she’d managed to turn her mood around. Maybe she’d decided that spending their afternoon in sorrow wouldn’t help.  
Levi scoffed at her.  
“Oi, you forgot about it, too, so shut your mouth.”  
Aubrey crawled over to him, seating herself in his lap as she continued to talk.  
“Well, now you have it. So make it up to me and wear it every once in a while, hm?  
Levi raised an eyebrow. He knew she wasn’t being entirely serious, but he’d still wear it nonetheless. Even if she was just teasing him.  
He leaned forward, his mouth meeting hers as he took the cravat from her hand. She let it go easily.  
Levi savored the moment. He would enjoy their happy round of banter while it lasted. He was sure that the atmosphere would turn heavy again as soon as their bout of teasing wore off. But, for now, he’d take every second of her smile he could get.  
When they broke away, Aubrey’s lips were still turned up at the corners and Levi gazed at her, eager to remember her smile as clearly as he could.  
After a few more seconds, Aubrey sighed and pressed her forehead to his as her arms wrapped around his neck. It was time for them to move on from the closet. They’d gone through everything they needed to.  
“Let’s keep going.”  
Levi let out a long breath, realizing that their moment of peace was coming to an end. But he just nodded in agreement.  
Together, they stood and continued with their packing.  
There wasn’t really much more that Aubrey needed besides her clothes. Erwin had given her a generous budget to buy whatever she needed once she arrived in the north, so she didn’t need to take anything replaceable. Plus, Aubrey wanted to pack light. Not just for the sake of travel, but also for the sake of keeping her and Levi’s home… a home. If she took too many things, the room would seem barren and she didn’t want him coming back to an empty and cold space every night. It was already bad enough that he would be coming back without her.  
So, it only took them a couple more hours to get everything completely and totally prepared for her departure in the morning.  
Both of them tried not to linger on the fact that all of her things were now sitting in the corner of their room, awaiting the event that both of them feared so much.  
So, instead of thinking about it, they made dinner.  
Levi had become quite a proficient cook over the last months but Aubrey still preferred to do the making and have him do the cleaning. Usually it worked out well since Levi made her rescrub the dishes three times over whenever she was in charge of washing up.  
Tonight was no different than any other except for the fact that Aubrey was planning on making Levi’s childhood favorite. She’d gotten it right since they’d first tried to make it. It had taken a bit of trial and error but on her fourth try, Levi had taken one bite, kissed her, and told her it was perfect. She’d since taught him how to make the soup himself but she knew he still preferred when she did it. He’d once grumbled something about it tasting better when she was the one to cook it.  
Aubrey smiled when she saw Levi’s lips turn up as she handed him the potatoes to chop. He knew what they were making.  
Aubrey gave him a few other minor tasks but she didn’t give him anything too hard. He was going to do the dishes.  
When he’d finished with all of his chopping and mixing, Levi wrapped his arms around Aubrey’s waist from behind and looked over her shoulder. Aubrey smiled and sighed, trying not to register the idea that it might be the last time he watched her cook for months.  
Eventually, the soup was finished, Levi turned Aubrey into him and kissed her until they were both breathless. They were left standing in the kitchen, gasping for air as they held each other and savoring every second of their last dinner together.  
But, soon, Aubrey grew worried that their food would go cold and they sat down to eat. They kept their conversation lighthearted, both of them desperately avoiding the topic of tomorrow or anything even remotely related to it. Mostly, they talked about the soup.  
Finally, dinner came to an end and Levi took away their dishes, instantly heading for the kitchen. Aubrey noticed that he was moving a bit more quickly than usual but she understood why. He probably wanted as many minutes at the pond as they could get. She felt the same.  
While Levi cleaned up, Aubrey grabbed a sweater from her box of already packed items and slid it on. It was the end of February and it was cold out. There wasn’t any snow and the water of the pond hadn’t frozen over but they still needed extra clothing in order to be comfortable. Aubrey went to the closet and found another sweater for Levi, laying it out on the bed for when he was done in the kitchen. She moved on to locating some gloves, their winter coats, and then, finally, their boots.  
Aubrey laid all of Levi’s things out next to the sweater she’d found earlier and then started to don her extra clothing.  
Just as she was finishing up, Levi emerged from the kitchen, pausing for just a second when he saw that she’d gathered everything he needed. He shot her an appreciative glance, kissed her cheek, and then silently started to dress himself.  
He was done after just a few minutes and then glanced up to see that Aubrey was holding a pair of boots in her hands. But not his boots. His boots were already on. They were her boots.  
Levi smirked at her.  
“Tch. You know, you’re turning into a spoiled brat.”  
Aubrey just giggled as he moved toward her despite his words. Levi took the shoes from her hands and then backed her into a chair, gently pushing her down into the seat. He couldn’t help but smile a bit as he kneeled at her feet and started on her laces. He’d put her shoes on for her for almost every day since they’d moved in. And, even though he’d never admit it, it was his favorite part of the morning. Or in this case, evening.  
He worked quickly and had the laces done in less than a minute. He’d gotten good at tying her shoes swiftly after six months of practice.  
When he was finished he looked up automatically and received exactly what he was expecting. Aubrey’s lips hit his and she kissed him lightly. That was her part of the exchange.  
As soon as they broke away, Levi stood and took Aubrey’s hand as she rose from her seat. For just a second they stared at each other… and then they turned and headed for the door.  
Their walk through the halls was silent and, without speaking, they both knew that they’d be taking the back door. Neither of them wanted to see another person besides each other.  
The chill of the outside air hit Aubrey’s cheeks but she just breathed it in. It was familiar to her, a part of her childhood that she could never forget. That was probably a good thing considering she’d be headed for the north tomorrow and, unlike here, things would be frozen and snowy.  
Aubrey pushed the thought of her leaving from her mind. She didn’t want it to cloud her night with Levi. At least not this part. She was sure that once they returned from the pond, she would cry all night long. But, for now, she just wanted to focus on being with him and savoring every second.  
Their walk remained quiet, though Aubrey noticed that Levi was gripping her hand a little more tightly than usual and he was breathing a little erratic. The sight made a rush of pain go through her. She brought their locked fingers to her lips and kissed his skin. She knew that he was probably thinking about the fact that this was their last night together, that with every second, their time together came closer to its end. She needed him to forget about that, to leave it alone. When they got back to the room, they could shake and cry and think all they needed to… but not now.  
As their hands fell back down between them, Levi glanced at her and she saw him take a deep breath. She could see that he was still tense, but his grip was a bit more casual and his breathing evened out. She looked forward again, knowing that was the best she would get.  
They entered the treeline and, just like always, Aubrey felt her heart beat faster. They were close, so close, to the most important place they knew. And it never failed to be everything they needed it to be.  
Finally, the pond came into view and Aubrey let out a breath as she took it in. The trees had all lost their leaves and the grass looked yellow and dead. But the water was still as clear as ever, reflecting the stars above them.  
Aubrey turned to Levi, a small smirk on her lips.  
“Another lesson tonight?”  
Levi scoffed at her and shook his head. He was perfectly proficient at reading the stars now but they still occasionally had a “lesson” just for something to do. But that was the last thing on his mind tonight.  
He pulled her closer and pressed his lips to her hair.  
“I’ll get the blankets.”  
Aubrey chuckled and nodded as he started to walk away toward the cabin. She watched him go for a moment and then turned her attention to the peninsula. She strolled over to their spot, not yet taking a seat. The ground was cold and she wanted to wait for Levi to return with the blanket before she sat down.  
Instead, she turned her eyes to the sky. She noticed immediately just how clear the stars were tonight… and there was one star that seemed even brighter than usual. Her hand went to her throat, her fingers touching the pendant of her necklace as she stared at the North Star.  
Aubrey smiled as she continued to look. It was almost strange just how important a single star could be to both her and Levi. It had been such a subtle and yet constant presence throughout the time they’d known each other. It had seen it all, seen them fall in love, seen them be happy, seen them be sad. And it would only continue to see everything that had yet to come. And that was the beauty of it. It would never fade, never disappear, never let them down. It would always be there. And even when they were apart, they’d always be under the same star.  
Aubrey heard the crunch of dirt on her left and looked to see that Levi had returned with their blankets. They needed more than just one now. It was cold.  
Levi spread the first one out across the ground and then reached for her. Aubrey walked over to him, following him to the ground as they finally sat. Soon, there were more blankets on top of them and then Levi wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. Aubrey was a little surprised that he’d pulled her so close so quickly, but she didn’t have a problem with it. She’d take as many seconds of his touch as she could get.  
Aubrey draped her arms around his neck and leaned her forehead against his as she closed her eyes. She focused only on the feeling on his skin against hers, on the small rippling flames that still went through her with every brush of their bodies. He could still set her on fire, even in the cold winter air.  
“I love you.”  
Levi’s voice broke through the silence and Aubrey’s brows furrowed as she squeezed her eyes shut. Just hearing those words was bringing tears to her eyes. Her emotions were all over the place. Just a second ago, she’d been smiling at the stars; now she was holding back her tears. But, she’d promised herself that she would wait to cry until they got back. So, she took a deep breath, calmed herself, and answered him.  
“I love you, too.”  
Her voice was shaky, but it was the best could manage with the lump in her throat. And as long as Levi could hear her, it didn’t really matter.  
There was quiet again as both of them got lost in their own thoughts. It was inevitable. There was so much to think about. Their future, which had seemed as secure as they could ever have hoped for, was now an unknown. Neither of them knew what was coming, how long Aubrey would be gone, if they’d be able to handle each other’s absence. It was all so much. And even as they both tried to push the thoughts away, they still crept in. They were impossible to stop.  
But they still just sat there, holding each other and hoping that everything would be alright.  
Aubrey didn’t know how much time had passed when she finally heard Levi take a deep breath. It brought her back to reality, back to the present. She blinked a few times and then Levi’s voice cut through the air.  
“Aubrey.”  
Aubrey pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes. When she saw him, she was caught just a little off guard by the intensity on his features. His eyes had an all too familiar look in them. They were burning.  
“Yes?”  
Aubrey could barely speak above a whisper, but even that seemed too loud. Everything was so still, so silent, around them and she felt like her voice almost seemed abrasive.  
“I love you.”  
Levi’s tone was deeper, more steady, more serious than before and Aubrey could tell that he was trying to truly convey how much he meant what he said. Her lips turned down at the corners and her brows pushed together as she brought her hands to his face.  
“I know that, Levi. I know that. I love you, too. So much.”  
Suddenly, Aubrey felt Levi’s hands tangle in her hair and he pulled her closer, her face just inches from his own. She stared at him, a little shocked by his intensity and strength. But Levi didn’t give her much time to think about it. He kept talking.  
“No, Aubrey, I love you. And every time I try to tell you how much I mean that I just can’t get the shitty words out.”  
Aubrey’s eyes widened. She didn’t know what to say. But it didn’t really matter because Levi opened his mouth again.  
“But I’m running out of fucking time, so… shit.”  
Aubrey was rooted to the spot. She was still a little stunned by the urgency in his voice but she was also completely absorbed by his attempt to use words. All she could do was listen as he scrambled to find the right way to convey whatever it was he was thinking.  
Finally, he took another breath and Aubrey listened carefully as he started again.  
“That future you want, Aubrey. The one with the wedding and the shop in town and the kids. I want it, too.”  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed as she struggled to comprehend where he was headed. But before she could ask any questions, Levi’s hands slid out of her hair and instead came to rest on her cheeks as he continued.  
“I want it… so much. And I know we’re trying, but… even if you go to the north, even if we take every opportunity we get… I know that it could be a long time before we get it.” Aubrey noticed how careful he was to not say they’d never get it. Even though they both knew that was the most likely outcome. That future they wanted… it was nearly impossible. Aubrey’s mind continued to race. But Levi wasn’t done. “But, even if we can’t have it now or if we can’t get all of it… I can at least give you some of it.” Aubrey’s eyes widened as she saw Levi reach into his pocket. And then, before she could even process what was happening, he pulled out a box. A small box. A box that, before she’d met Levi, she’d never expected to see in her entire life. But she still knew what those kinds of boxes held.  
Aubrey could only watch as Levi opened it, revealing the most beautiful diamond ring she’d ever seen. It had a gold band made up of two separate strands that twisted around each other like vines and supported the large and stunningly clear diamond at the ring’s center. But that wasn’t the only gemstone. More, smaller, diamonds were embedded in the band, making it sparkle even in the dull light of the stars. It was stunning. It was perfect. And there was something… familiar about it.  
“If I can’t give you all of it, I can at least give you this.”  
Aubrey’s hand flew to her mouth as she stared down at the ring, then up at Levi, and then back to the ring again. She shook her head in disbelief.  
“Levi… where did you get this?”  
Her voice was so soft, so weak and breathless, that it was barely audible. But Levi heard her.  
He sighed. He could see her scanning every detail, trying to figure out what was so familiar about it. Little did she know, she’d seen it before… just in a different form.  
“It’s… it’s Isabel’s necklace. I had the diamonds removed and the gold melted down and reshaped into the band.”  
Aubrey’s gaze flashed away from the ring and back to his eyes in an instant.  
“Oh, no. No, Levi. That was hers. That was yours. That was your piece of her.”  
Levi could hear the panic in Aubrey’s tone and he quickly put a stop to it.  
“No, Aubrey. I know it’s what she would have wanted. She… loved you, just like she loved me. And, yes, it was my piece of her, but… it only means more to me when you’re the one wearing it.”  
Aubrey shook her head again, but it wasn’t out of disagreement. She just couldn’t believe this was happening. She looked back at the ring.  
“When? When did you do this? How did you do this?”  
Levi sighed again. She was going to have a lot more questions before she would let him finish.  
“The clasp on the necklace broke a couple of months ago. I already knew what I wanted to do with it so there was no point in leaving a broken necklace lying around. I took it to the same shop we bought your necklace at. I guess it’s a good thing I decided to remold it right away because I just picked it up last week when we went into town.”  
Aubrey let out a shaky exhale. Levi had only left her side once when they’d gone into town. He’d gone to buy soap while she’d picked out a new book. Little had she known he was also picking up her engagement ring.  
This time, Levi just continued without having to hear her next question.  
“I… I wasn’t planning to ask you yet. I was going to hide it away for a few years. Maybe give it to Erwin to keep safe so you wouldn’t find it. We’re still too young. But… I… I just can’t let you leave without it.”  
Levi put his hand back on her cheek and just the one touch had fire spreading all through Aubrey’s body.  
“We’ll do it when you’re back. Whatever you want. Big wedding, small wedding, no shitty ceremony at all… whatever you want. As soon as you’re back for real. When all of this is over and Erwin calls you home. We’ll do it then.”  
Aubrey could feel the shock turning to tears as she stared at him. She still couldn’t believe this was real, couldn’t believe this was happening. Her eyes turned back to the ring and her hand fell away from her mouth, landing on her shirt over her heart and clutching at the fabric.  
“Levi… I… I don’t know what to say.”  
There wasn’t even a second before Levi’s hand moved from her cheek to her jaw, lifting her chin and forcing her eyes back to his.  
“Well, you still haven’t let me finish.”  
Aubrey was barely containing the tears now and she couldn’t even speak. All she could do was memorize his face, memorize this moment as looked down at her.  
“Marry me, Aubrey.”  
Levi watched as her eyes blurred, her tears beginning to overtake her. She didn’t speak and Levi could tell that she was still replaying his last words in her head. But he couldn’t wait. He needed to hear it now.  
He leaned closer, so close that their lips were almost touching as he continued to gaze into her eyes.  
“This is the part where you say ‘yes’, Aubrey. Say ‘yes’.”  
For a few more seconds, there was more silence as Aubrey tried to make her mouth form the word. It just didn’t want to work. But she wasn’t going to let her body fail her at a time like this. So, with all of her strength, she forced her jaw to move and say the one word she needed to get out.  
“Yes.”  
There wasn’t even the slightest pause before Levi’s lips hit hers and suddenly the two of them were just a tangle of limbs, wrapping around each other in every way possible and holding on tight.  
Aubrey could have kissed him forever, or at least until she couldn’t go any longer, but Levi broke away. She looked at him desperately, silently asking why he’d stopped. But then she saw what he was doing.  
He’d removed the ring from its box and he was holding her left hand in his own. Aubrey felt like her heart was about to stop.  
Levi paused for just a second and glanced up at her. Aubrey stared at his face and then her eyes flicked to her hand as she spread her fingers. And then, before she knew it, Levi was sliding the ring onto her finger.  
As soon as the band slid past her knuckle, Aubrey felt the first tear slide down her cheek. After that, there was no stopping them, even if she’d promised not to cry until they got back. They came relentlessly, staining her skin as they traveled the same paths over and over again. But it wasn’t long until a familiar touch wiped them away and a set of unmistakable lips pressed to her own.  
Their kiss was gentler this time, and longer, too. Aubrey ran her hands through his hair and he held close enough to feel her every movement. When she’d felt his hair for long enough, Aubrey trailed her fingers down his neck, over his chest, across his shoulders. Eventually, though, she just wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, trying to tell him exactly how she felt. But, eventually, they both ran out of air and had to switch to an embrace as they caught their breath.  
A few minutes passed by and the two of them melted into each other until, finally, Levi broke the silence.  
“I love you.”  
He repeated the phrase for the third time that night. Only this time, he thought she probably knew exactly how much he meant it.  
Levi felt her shake against her chest and he knew that she was holding back a sob. But, somehow, she still managed to answer.  
Her hands pressed into his body and her mouth found his ear as she answered him.  
“I love you, too, Levi. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg… they’re engaged… THEY’RE ENGAGED. I cannot. My babies are engaged :’) lol. Did y’all see that coming or did I get ya good??? Lol, I left, like, the tiniest hints throughout the chapter and I wanna know if y’all picked up on them ;)  
> Next chapter will (probably) be a smut chapter (I haven’t completely decided yet) … but, like, a sad smut chapter (if that’s even possible lol). If I decide not to do a smut chapter, then… the next chapter will be the last chapter of this book :’( Otherwise, if I do go ahead with the (sad) smut (lol), there will be two more chapters.  
> Also, I wanted to let everyone know that I finally got a tumblr account set up! The handle is @docoooo (yes, there’s 4 o’s at the end there, lol) and here is the link to my profile: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/docoooo  
> If you’d like to follow me, great! If not, it’s ALL good. I’m only expecting it to be me and like… 3 other people so… lol.  
> And how do we feel about Stay Alive as the title for Book 2? I know it’s cheesy, but I figured I’d stick with the theme, ya know? Let me know if that’s too cringey lol.
> 
> And some of y’all be in the comments like, “why am I crying over fictional characters”… LIKE IT’S A BAD THING??? Not that I want y’all to cry, but… I do. For real tho, that is the BEST compliment I could receive as an author. It means I’m doing my job right :) I FOR SURE have made myself cry while writing this but I figured that maybe I was just a baby lol. But, anyway, please leave a comment and tell me what you thought :)) I need the emotional support as this fic comes to an end :’) Thank you <3


	58. Chapter 58

WARNING: Sad smut :’(

Aubrey held on to Levi for dear life as they stood in the silence and darkness of their room. They’d just gotten back from the pond, and the lock had clicked into place just a few seconds ago. But even just the short time it had taken for the door to close had seemed like too long. Just the one second that Levi had needed to turn away to lock it had felt like an eternity and as soon as he’d finished, Aubrey had been back in his arms.  
He’d carried her back from the pond. Not because she needed help walking, but because he couldn’t stand to have her anywhere but on his body. She hadn’t protested, so he’d assumed she felt the same.  
Now they were back in their room, but she was still crying, silent tears falling down her face. Levi wasn’t sure if they were tears of happiness or sadness. Probably both.  
He just held her as her fingers desperately tightened in his hair and her body pressed into him. He never wanted her to let go.  
But she would.  
At some point, she would let go… and then she would leave.  
Levi felt a rush of agony go through him and the only thing he could do was hold her tighter.  
“Aubrey...”  
Aubrey could hear the pain in his voice and it caused even more tears to spill from her eyes. She didn’t know how to help, how to make it better. It all just hurt too much.  
She kept her fingers in Levi’s hair but gently pulled away from his chest just enough to look up at him. She could see that he had his own tears threatening to fall and the sight only made her more desperate to help him somehow. But nothing seemed like it would be enough. This pain was too deep, too intense. Aubrey knew that there wasn’t anything that would make it go away.  
But if they couldn’t make it go away… then she wanted him to know just how much she would miss him, just how much she loved him, just how much she needed him. And they’d already used up all the words they had for the day. She’d already told him with her voice how much she loved him, and he’d even managed to get out a proposal. They’d done enough talking. Now it was time for showing. They were better at that, anyway.  
Aubrey didn’t hesitate even for a second. Her lips found his and immediately she brought her hands to his face and then pulled his lips to hers.  
Levi knew what she was asking for and he didn’t even have to think for a second to know that he was going to give her whatever she wanted.  
He was grateful for the opportunity she was giving him. He’d managed to get out the words he’d needed to in order to get the ring on her finger, but… he knew that he could still show her so much more.  
Levi kept their kisses gentle, slow, but still intense as his hands wrapped around the back of her neck. Tonight was about… saying goodbye. And he didn’t think that either of them wanted something too heated. They both just wanted to be close, as close as possible.  
Levi kissed her for a moment longer, locking his tongue with hers as they continued to grip at each other. But he didn’t want to keep her waiting too long. He was going to take things slow, but wasn’t going to torture her.  
Levi’s hand found the buttons on her coat and he undid them one by one until he could slide the thing off her shoulders. By the time it had hit the ground, he had already found the hem of her shirt and sweater, pulling them up smoothly until Aubrey lifted her arms and the clothing slid over her head. He paused for a moment to look into her eyes, admiring the way they were shining in the glimmers of moonlight coming in through the window. The sight left him breathless.  
His fingers raised to her face, tracing her features as he committed each of them to memory. He brushed over her cheekbones, her jawline, the bridge of her nose, her brow bone, and, finally, his thumb skimmed over her lips. They parted at his touch and Levi wrapped his hand around her chin as he kissed her again.  
After a few seconds, Levi pulled away for air and took the opportunity to whisper to her.  
“I love you.”  
Their lips met again and Aubrey kissed him harder. The both of them kicked off their boots as they held each other.  
Levi could feel her hands pressing into his cheeks, but there was a new sensation besides the usual warmth. It was a cool, chilled touch against his skin and he realized that it was the metal of her ring. The thought sent a shiver down his spine and he suddenly had the urge to move her to the bed. So he did.  
Levi broke away from their kiss and then gently lifted Aubrey into his arms, carrying her across the room and lying her down on the mattress before crawling over her. He stopped to stare at her again but this time she didn’t look back at him. Instead, her eyes were on his chest as she ran her hands over his shoulders, pushing his coat away and then moving down his sides to tug on his shirt and sweater. Levi helped her get it off without saying a word and then returned to gazing at her.  
This time, Aubrey met his gaze and she took in every aspect of his expression. His eyes held a longing so strong that it almost made her gasp. It was so intense, so sad… and yet it was so loving.  
“Levi…”  
Aubrey reached for him and he instantly leaned down to meet her lips. He stayed there for a moment and then moved to her neck, speaking between kisses.  
“Please… come back… to me.”  
Aubrey’s heart broke in two. For a second, the pain was so great that she couldn’t even move and it gave Levi the opportunity to keep speaking.  
“I… love you… so much… please… come back… to me.”  
Aubrey’s ability to move suddenly returned and she reached for his face, bringing him back into her line of sight.  
Her eyes were wide and she stared at him with such force that Levi took in a sharp breath.  
“Always, Levi. Never doubt, not even for a second, that I’ll come back to you. I will always come back to you.”  
Aubrey’s voice was strong, so sure, that Levi’s pain was replaced, just for an instant, with shock. He was convinced it was the first time she’d ever looked at him so… sternly, almost like she was offended by his words. A wave of guilt washed over him. He’d never meant to make her think he doubted her. He’d just wanted her to know how badly he needed her, how badly he needed her to come back.  
Levi nodded and Aubrey’s harsh expression melted into one of gentle sadness as she stroked his cheekbones.  
“Always, Levi. Always.”  
Her voice was barely above a whisper and Levi felt another surge of anguish. But he pushed it aside so that he could answer her. He had something important to say.  
He pressed his forehead to hers and spoke.  
“I know, I know that.” There was a pause and then Levi’s demeanor shifted as he continued. “Thank you, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey continued to look at him, her brows furrowed, even as his face was so close.  
“For what?”  
From his tone, Aubrey could tell that he meant something deeper than her just promising to return to him.  
Levi took a deep breath and Aubrey felt his exhale against her skin.  
“For loving me.”  
Aubrey squeezed her eyes shut as another tear escaped. She only had one response.  
“Always.”  
Levi’s face twisted in torment and he kissed her again, the touch light and airy. But Aubrey pulled him closer, deepening their movements, and soon Levi felt her guiding his hand behind her back until his fingers hit the hooks of her bra.  
He gave her exactly what she wanted and in a matter of seconds, he had the garment sliding off her arms and falling to the floor. His head dipped to her chest and Aubrey’s gasps filled the air as he trailed over her skin, licking, sucking, grazing. He just kept going, revelling in the fact that he could give her such pleasure. It had always been a way for them to communicate, especially when he wasn’t all that inclined towards words.  
Levi stayed at her chest until he felt Aubrey’s legs tighten around his knee. She was ready to move on.  
He didn’t hesitate to trail his lips down her stomach as his hands went to her waistband, nimbly undoing the buttons of her pants and sliding them away and off of her body. He kissed up her thighs as he reached for her underwear and then his fingers went beneath the fabric. The cloth was gone in a second.  
Levi moved back, his hands finding her knees and spreading her legs apart his mouth lowered.  
But then she stopped him.  
Levi felt Aubrey’s hand curl around his chin and suddenly, she was forcing him to look her in the eyes.  
“Just you tonight, Levi. I want to see your face.”  
Levi’s eyes widened but Aubrey just tugged on his chin and soon,he followed her request, moving forward again and hovering over her.  
She continued to stare into his eyes as her hands ran over his chest, down his abdomen, and then landed on the buttons of his pants. It took her awhile to get them undone but neither of them cared. They weren’t in a rush, they were too busy gazing at each other.  
Eventually, though, the last button was loose and Aubrey yanked lightly on his waistband. The pants gave way a little and then Levi reached down to fully remove them.  
Aubrey’s fingers went to his underwear next and they were gone in an instant.  
She returned her attention to Levi’s eyes and held his face in her hands. She watched him carefully, still seeing the pain and torment mixed with the love. It was a hard combination to look at. She knew that the love was causing the pain… and yet she didn’t want the love to disappear. Not ever.  
“Please, Levi. Just you.”  
For a moment more, all Levi could do was stare at her and then, after a brief kiss, he moved back to give her what she wanted.  
Aubrey gasped as he eased into her but the noise didn’t last long. Levi was back on her lips in a second.  
He rocked them back and forth at a torturously slow pace and Aubrey wrapped her legs around his back, bringing him closer. Levi groaned and moved just the slightest bit faster.  
Aubrey kept kissing him as his hand went down her side, gliding over her skin until he pressed down between her legs.  
Her moan broke their kiss and Levi instead went to her jaw. But he didn’t get to stay there for long.  
Aubrey’s hands found his chin again and she guided him back to her eyes. They were filled with tears.  
“No, Levi. Look at me.”  
Her voice was incredibly unsteady, shaking from both the tears in her eyes and the sensations intensifying all over her body.  
Levi didn’t even bother being surprised. He just gave her what she wanted.  
He pressed his forehead to hers and their eyes met even at such a close range.  
Aubrey slid her hands into his hair, holding him there and then kissing him as their pace picked up.  
Levi’s fingers shifted between her legs and she gasped again. He used the opportunity to deepen their kiss even further and Aubrey moaned into his mouth.  
Eventually, the heat between her legs became too much and Aubrey wasn’t able to continue with their kiss as her breathing got heavier.  
But she kept him still, gripping at his hair and not allowing him to move away from her face as they both grew close to their peaks.  
Finally, the sensations grew too overwhelming and with a last shift of Levi’s fingers, Aubrey’s eyes rolled back in her head and she cried out.  
Levi only took a few more moments to reach his end and he groaned as Aubrey panted beneath him.  
But instead of collapsing onto her, Levi held himself up, continuing to hover over her. Now he wanted to look at her.  
Her eyes were closed, tears still slipping down the sides of her face even as she caught her breath. Her brows were furrowed and her lips were parted as she sucked in the air she needed. She didn’t have the content look that usually did when they were done but Levi knew that he didn’t, either. This hadn’t been an act of lightheartedness and giggles. It had been a goodbye.  
“Aubrey.”  
Levi whispered her name as he stared down at her. But she didn’t open her eyes.  
His face twisted in agony as he tried again.  
“Aubrey.”  
Still, she didn’t look at him and Levi felt himself starting to break as her chest began to shake. She was about to cry. Really cry.  
Levi brought a hand to her cheek as he held back the tears forming in his own eyes.  
“Aubrey, please. Look at me.”  
One more second passed and then her eyes opened… just as a sob escaped her.  
Without warning, her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him to her desperately.  
Levi’s face buried in her shoulder as she cried and he quickly rolled them onto their sides so he could hold her. He pulled her into him just as the first of his own tears rolled down his cheek. But, despite his own pain, he knew he needed to speak to her. She needed his support.  
“Aubrey... it’s alright. We’re going to be alright.”  
Aubrey’s sobs didn’t cease nor did they lessen. In fact, Levi felt her squeeze him even tighter as she cried even louder.  
“Please, Aubrey. I can’t stand it. I can’t take it.”  
Levi’s own voice trembled as he begged with her to stop her wails of pain. Every single one broke him, cut through him like he’d just been stabbed in the heart.  
Aubrey heard him but she almost couldn’t stop. It was like she’d lost control of her body, like the anguish had all been bottled up and now it was all rushing out at once. But she knew that for Levi’s sake, she had to calm herself. No matter how impossible it seemed.  
So, instead of crying, she decided to try talking. If there were words coming out of her mouth, then at least there wouldn’t be sobs.  
“Levi, I love you. I love you so much. I-I don’t know if I can do this. I need you. How am I supposed to go? How am I supposed to live?”  
Levi froze as she spoke and, even as her sobs returned in the absence of her words, he could hardly even hear them. She’d said she didn’t know if she could do this.  
For just a moment, Levi’s mind flashed through the possibilities of what that could mean. Was she going to change her mind? Would she go to Erwin and tell him she couldn’t go? Would she stay?  
Levi’s heart fluttered at the idea… but the flutter soon faded away. He knew that those weren’t her true thoughts, her true words. They were the words of her grief, her suffering. If she’d had any doubts about leaving, he was sure that she would have told Erwin no in the first place. She wasn’t the kind to change her mind. When she knew, she knew. And she knew she had to go. It was just that… at the moment… her pain was too great to think straight.  
So it would be left to him. He would have to be her support in a decision he desperately wished she would truly reconsider. But she wouldn’t. Not really, anyway. Her mind had been made up and, in the morning, after the shadows and darkness of the night had left them, she would see why she’d decided as she had. So, right now, he would have to remind her of why she had to leave him. He would have to tell her to go even when he wanted her to stay.  
Levi took a deep breath and spoke.  
“I’ve already told you, Aubrey. You’re strong. You can do this. We can do this.”  
Levi stroked her hair as he continued.  
“I love you. You can do this. I know you can.”  
Aubrey sobbed again and Levi closed his eyes as he held her, trying to hold in the pain as best he could. She needed him to be strong.  
Levi just held her, rocking her back and forth in his arms until her cries eventually began to quiet. He could hear her taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself, trying to quiet her sobs. And, after a while, it worked.  
The room went silent again except for the occasional whimper or shaky breath and Levi knew that she’d gotten through the worst of her breakdown. But he knew that he’d really gotten through to her when she finally spoke with a calmer voice.  
“Levi…”  
Levi kissed her cheek, a silent encouragement to go on.  
“I don’t know how to say goodbye.”  
Levi choked as she said the word out loud. Goodbye. He pulled away, even as Aubrey grabbed at him, so that he could look her in the eyes.  
His hand found her cheek as he stared at her. Her tears were still flowing, her lips were shaking, her cheeks were red… she looked… beaten.  
Seeing her made Levi’s heart shatter for the hundredth time that day but he knew he had to continue being strong for her. She still needed him.  
He sucked in a breath, and answered her.  
“Then don’t. You’ll come back to me, right? Then don’t say goodbye. Just… tell me you love me.”  
Aubrey’s eyes closed for just a moment as more tears fell down her face. But then she looked at him and, to his surprise, she nodded. She pushed closer to him again, pressing their foreheads together.  
“I love you.”  
Levi’s lungs shook as he exhaled. He knew that their ‘goodbye’ wouldn’t be ending anytime soon. They’d hold each other all night long, all through the morning, and he wouldn’t let her go until the second she climbed on her horse and rode away. But also knew that this was it… they were letting go.  
Levi leaned in, kissing her until they were out of air and had to break away. And, when he’d calmed his breathing, he answered her.  
“I love you, too. Always.”  
For the rest of the night, they held each other closely, never daring to let go and miss a second of the touch that they would soon be without. Neither of them slept much. They didn’t really want to and they weren’t really sure they could have, anyway. Every so often, one of them would start to shake and the other would have to comfort them. Sometimes that comfort was words, sometimes it was a light touch, and sometimes that touch would turn into more until they were back where their night had started. But no matter what they did, the thoughts, the pain, it always managed to creep back in. That was inevitable, though, and they both knew it. So they just focused on being close and savoring every moment they had. And they did. They stayed there all night, holding each other so tightly it hurt, but knowing that they didn’t want it any other way. Because, when the sun rose in the morning, they would have to do the impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, well, there’s your sad smut. Definitely not spicy in the slightest but it wasn’t supposed to be lol. This chapter was a little shorter but last chapter was literally the longest chapter I’ve ever written so I guess it evens out :) Anyway, I kind of hope it made you cry but also I don’t want you to cry. But I also do, lol.  
> And, I just want to say thank you to everyone who had stuck with this book through all of its cringey, over the top, and cliché moments :’) I know this book isn’t perfect but it has been an absolute joy to write it and I know it wouldn’t have been NEARLY as fun if it hadn’t been for y’all. Knowing that other people out there love this story just as much as I do makes me so happy I could die :’) Anyway, I won’t get too soppy and I’ll just leave it at THANK YOU.  
> Next chapter will be the last one :’) It’ll be sad lol. I might need a little extra time to get it up because I promised y’all I would put up chapter 1 of Book 2 at the same time. I just want to make sure I get them both edited and written correctly :))) Leave a comment if you want :) Y’all know it makes me so happy and I’d love to hear from you in the final chapters of this fic <3 Thank you again. I love y’all <333


	59. Chapter 59

WARNING: Sad… sorry.

When the first rays of sunlight finally trickled in through the window, Aubrey closed her eyes. If she couldn’t see them… maybe they would go away.  
She wasn’t ready. Not in the slightest.  
And yet, she was rapidly running out of time. She’d have to leave right after breakfast so that she could cover some distance before having to stop for the night. But all of it seemed so unreal. The idea that she would be spending her next night somewhere other than in Levi’s arms was… wrong.  
But it was their reality.  
Aubrey pushed her head into Levi’s chest, trying to block out the light that was only growing brighter by the minute. It horrified her.  
Levi just held her tighter when he felt her shift into him. He knew that they were thinking about the same thing. The morning had come and it wouldn’t be long before they had to get up. And when they got up… it would be the last time.  
Levi pressed his lips to her hair as he closed his eyes, trying to take in the last moments they had. He let his mind take in the feeling of her skin on his, her breath on his chest, her hair falling across his arm. Everything about her was so mesmerizing that it was hard to comprehend that in a few hours… it would all be gone.  
Levi kissed her hair again but this time, instead of pulling away, he moved his lips to her cheek and then trailed down her neck. He heard Aubrey sigh and he ran his hand up and down her side as he continued to kiss her. He’d stay there until the very last minute. And he did.  
Eventually, the sunlight became too strong for them to ignore any longer. No matter how impossible it seemed, it was time for them to move.  
Aubrey must have known it, too, because he felt her lips making their way across the skin of his chest, up his neck, across his jaw, and then finally she landed on his mouth. Levi wrapped a hand around her neck but Aubrey pulled back after just a few seconds.  
For a moment, all she did was stare at him. He could see her eyes going over every feature and he returned the gesture, making sure he knew every curve, every bend, every line. He was intent on never letting a single aspect of her appearance fade from his mind during their time apart.  
But he only got to stare for a few more moments before Aubrey kissed him lightly again and then pressed their foreheads together.  
“We have to get up now…”  
Her voice was just a whisper but Levi still heard her loud and clear as the words sliced through him. He knew she was right… but he still didn’t want to admit it. Everything in him screamed to beg her for just a few more minutes, just a few more seconds. But he also knew that doing that would only make things harder. It would hurt Aubrey to know just how much he was struggling. Even now, he still had to be strong for her.  
So, instead of asking for those few extra moments, Levi just kissed her again and then nodded.  
Aubrey sighed, ran her fingers through his hair, and then, with a pained look on her face, she started to move out of his arms.  
Levi fought the urge to grab at her and bring her back. Seeing her move away brought a pang of panic to his chest. But he pushed it down, reminding himself to be strong.  
She was just about to move off the bed when she looked back at him, a somber look in her eyes. Suddenly, she crawled back to him, taking his face in her hands as she spoke.  
“Let’s take a shower.”  
Levi gazed back at her, not hesitating for a second before he’d kissed her forehead and started pulling her into the bathroom.  
He had the water running in an instant and he turned back to her as he waited for it to heat up. His lips found her skin instantly and Aubrey wrapped her arms around his back.  
Neither of them had even bothered to redress themselves last night so, as soon as the water had reached the temperature they liked, they stepped into the shower.  
Both of them knew this wasn’t going to be a heated exchange. They just wanted to hold each other close, to stand in the steam and try to find just one second of peace.  
Levi pulled her close, kissing her one last time before his hands went to her hips and he urged her to turn around. She followed his instruction without even having to think.  
Just a moment later, his hands had found her hair and Aubrey leaned back against him as he worked the soap against her scalp. A sigh escaped her lips and Levi continued to wash her, rinsing her hair and then moving his hands over her body. As soon as he’d finished, Aubrey turned around to face him, took the soap from his hands and started the process all over again.  
Her fingers ran through the strands of his hair and she felt his muscles relax as she worked. Not long after, she rinsed the suds away and then ran her hands over his back until the soap lathered. She continued, going until she’d finished washing him entirely. When her work was done, she set the soap aside and returned her head to his chest, holding onto him until the hot water started to disappear and they were forced to get out.  
The bathroom was filled with steam and even the mirror was fogged up when their feet hit the tile floor. They’d been in the shower for a little longer than they probably should have been.  
Just a second after they were out, Aubrey felt a towel cover her shoulders and then Levi was behind her, drying her body slowly.  
She stood there, savoring the way he was so gentle with her and committing every second of it to memory. He was so… perfect.  
Aubrey felt her resolve beginning to crack. She hadn’t wanted to cry today. Not even when she finally left. She knew that Levi had supported her last night and she’d wanted to support him today. But she had a feeling she just wasn’t going to be able to go through with her plan. She needed him. She needed him so badly.  
Tears formed in her eyes and, as if he could read her mind, Levi met her gaze.  
When he saw the pain on her face he groaned. It hurt him so much to see her in such agony. Every tear that escaped her was another blow to his heart. But this time, he wasn’t sure he would be able to be quite as strong as he had been before. It was so close to the time that she would leave and with every passing second grief grew in his gut. He was terrified, horrified, of what would happen when she finally rode out of sight. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to go on. He thought that maybe he would just fall to his knees, unable to move, speak, or function. Maybe Erwin and Hange would have to drag him back into the castle. They probably would.  
Levi groaned again as more tears slid down Aubrey’s cheeks and he wrapped his arms around her despite the fact that he was still soaking wet and she’d just been dried. His breathing became erratic and it took all he had just to speak.  
“Aubrey, please… please…”  
Levi didn’t even know what he was asking for. He just wanted her pain to go away. He wanted her to do absolutely anything that would take the tears out of her eyes. But he knew there was no magical solution. She was hurting, he was hurting, and it would stay that way for the entire time she was away. He would just have to hope that, over time… they’d get better at handling it.  
Aubrey pressed her hands into his chest as he held her. She knew they were both on the edge of breaking and that she had to calm herself. They still had a lot to get through: breakfast, last-minute packing, getting Lex from the stables. She had to pull herself together if they were going to make it.  
She lifted a hand to her eyes, wiping away the tears and then lifting her gaze. Levi looked down at her and she pressed her fingers to his cheek as she spoke.  
“I know. I’m sorry. We can do this. We can do this.”  
Levi could feel his own tears threatening as he nodded and leaned forward to kiss her. She kissed him back, her palms pressing against his undercut as she held him close. They stood there for a moment and then Aubrey broke away, knowing that, for the time being, she could carry on. She had to.  
She pulled away just enough to meet Levi’s stare, and when she saw the tears threatening to spill over, she wiped them away from the corners of his eyes. She kissed him one last time and then wrapped a towel around his shoulders as she started to dry him.  
Levi let out a shaky sigh as she moved the towel over his body. The second he’d seen her resolve return, he’d felt the pain lessen ever so slightly. He was doing his best to comfort her but he knew that he was just as broken as she was.  
When Aubrey had finally finished drying him, she laced their fingers and led Levi back out to the main room. She opened the closet and pulled out of a set of his clothes before dressing him gently.  
Levi could only stare at her. Just a few moments ago she’d been on the verge of tears and now she was dressing him. He was a little stunned but mostly relieved. She’d stopped crying and that was all that really mattered to him. He couldn’t stand to see her so obviously pained. When he did, he only felt that pain ten times over in his own body.  
Aubrey’s hands suddenly started smoothing over his chest and he saw that she had completely dressed him and was flattening out the creases in his shirt. He paused for just a moment before catching her wrist and leading her over to her own packed clothing. She’d left an outfit out yesterday for this morning, so he didn't have to go through her bags. He dressed her quickly, his fingers brushing over her skin as he worked.  
Aubrey savored every touch, every brush, every bit of contact, but soon Levi was done and they both stood fully clothed.  
Aubrey shuddered. That meant one more thing ticked off their list before she would have to leave.  
She pushed the thought from her mind. She’d only just gotten through her last breakdown and she had seen that Levi wouldn’t be able to take much more. She needed to hold it in. For him.  
Aubrey pulled him back to the bathroom and they both combed their hair quickly.  
When they’d finished, Aubrey brushed a few wet strands from his eyes and then let her hand rest on his cheek. She realized that they’d hardly said a word all morning and yet she felt as though they’d had entire conversations. She could tell so much just by looking at his eyes. Everything was in his eyes.  
Aubrey leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his. She was glad that they didn’t always need words to communicate. Especially now. She didn’t even know what she would say. She needed more time. She’d have to speak eventually but she would leave it until… until she left. She didn’t know if she would be able to form the words until she was forced to.  
They both lingered there for a little too long, just as they had when they’d gotten out of the shower. It was just so hard to move on. Every step they took, every move they made brought them closer to the moment they both dreaded.  
But, eventually, Aubrey sucked in a harsh breath and Levi pulled away to look at her. They stared for just a second longer and then Levi took her hand and led her to the kitchen.  
Aubrey wasn’t planning on cooking this morning. She didn’t have the focus or desire to put so much effort into something. But they had leftover soup from the night before. It wasn’t exactly breakfast food but at least it was something.  
Aubrey put the leftovers on the stove to heat and then looked over to see that Levi was working on her tea. She let out a long exhale at the sight. He always insisted on making it for her, mumbling something about it being the least he could do if she had to drink shit.  
The gesture always touched her heart, especially since he also insisted on sitting with her while she drank it. Even if the tea did taste like shit, it was always a quiet and calm moment that they were able to share.  
Aubrey sighed and moved toward him, wrapping her arms around him from behind as he worked. But he was done just a few seconds later and then he turned to face her. He pulled her close and her head automatically buried in his chest as they stood in silence.  
Aubrey breathed in the clean scent of his shirt and pressed even further into him as his hands tightened on her waist and his lips hit her hair. Aubrey never wanted to move away but, eventually, she knew that the soup was ready and she had to let go to get it ready.  
Just a few moments later, their bowls were filled and Levi was guiding her out to the table.  
When they got close, Aubrey turned to go to her chair but Levi caught her wrist. She shot him a puzzled glance but he just sat down, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled her into his lap.  
Aubrey didn’t bother feeling surprised. She knew he wanted her as close as possible for as long as possible. She felt the same way.  
She shifted around until they were both in a position that would allow them to eat comfortably and then took a bite of her soup. Levi had brought her tea, too, but he always asked her to leave it for last so that he could hold her while she drank it. She didn’t mind. Especially not today.  
They ate in silence, though Levi was continuously rubbing his palm up and down her side and Aubrey would pause every so often to brush the hair from his eyes or lightly trace his jaw.  
Their soup was gone in just a few minutes and Aubrey instantly reached for her tea before turning around in Levi’s lap so that she could face him. He pulled her closer and his lips found her neck automatically. Aubrey sighed and ran her fingers through his hair, trying to push down the wave of pain that was coming forward. She couldn’t help but think about how this was the last time she would sit in Levi’s lap, have him hold her close, have him kiss her neck. It was almost too much. Almost. She’d promised herself she’d be strong for him until the very end. He’d supported her, now she needed to support him.  
Aubrey reached for the tea and then took her first gulp. It was just as horrible as ever but it no longer made her shudder in disgust. It was a familiar taste now. She was used to it.  
Aubrey took another gulp and Levi tugged her even closer as his mouth moved up her skin. He nudged her head to the side so he could get a better angle and Aubrey let him. He could stay there as long as he wanted. She didn’t care if her tea went cold.  
But, eventually, his lips reached her jaw and he moved the other side of her body, allowing her to sit up straight again. She sighed and took the last few gulps before setting the empty cup to the side and then wrapping her arms loosely around Levi’s neck as he continued to move along her skin. Her eyes closed as she felt him slowly move up her neck, then along her jaw again, and then finally his lips met hers.  
Aubrey kissed him hard. She was just barely containing her desperate sobs but she couldn’t even attempt to hold back her desperate kisses. He was just so close, so comforting… and soon she wouldn’t have him anymore. He’d be here and she’d be gone and the comfort he brought her would be miles away.  
So, she’d get as much as she could before she left.  
Their kiss continued until Aubrey was completely breathless and she couldn’t take another second. She broke away and her head fell into the curve of Levi’s neck as she pressed into him.  
Levi let her rest for a moment, but when he heard her breaths start to even out, his hands hooked around her thighs and he held her against him as he stood and headed for the bathroom again. He set her on the sink and then handed her toothbrush over before reaching for his own. Aubrey only paused for a second before she started brushing and Levi did the same.  
As soon as they were done, Levi lifted her again and then set her feet on the floor. Neither of them moved. There was nothing left to do. They were ready to go, ready to leave the room. And when they did… Aubrey wouldn’t be returning.  
For several long minutes, they stayed there, Levi’s hands on Aubrey’s waist and her hands on his chest as they gazed at each other. It seemed like it would be impossible to ever look away because… the moment they did… they would have to move on.  
It wasn’t until Aubrey saw the sunlight growing unavoidably brighter in the main room that she knew… it was finally time to go.  
She could feel the tears in her eyes again but she didn’t want Levi to see. She knew it would only hurt him. So, instead, she pushed her head into his shoulder and mumbled softly into his shirt.  
“It’s time, Levi. We can’t stay any longer.”  
Levi could hear the slight shake in her voice and he knew that saying the words had hurt her just as much as it had hurt him to hear them. But she was right. They couldn’t ignore this any longer. They had to go.  
Levi lifted her chin and kissed her gently. He didn’t dare drag out the action, though. If he did, it would only make things harder.  
So, when he broke away, he took one last look at her face and then pulled her out to the main room.  
Levi glanced at her and Aubrey instantly knew what he was going to do. Before she knew it, he’d grabbed her boots and was pushing her into a chair as he kneeled at her feet.  
Aubrey looked down at him, repeating to herself that she couldn’t break yet. Not yet. Even with an act as sentimental as this, she couldn’t break yet. She needed to be strong.  
She watched as Levi slid the shoes carefully onto her feet and her fingers fell into his hair, running through the strands and occasionally pausing to massage his scalp. Levi always moved a bit slower when she did that… which may have been her goal.  
Aubrey felt the boots gradually tightening as Levi worked with the laces. For a moment, she was almost angry that he’d gotten so efficient. She wanted him to slow down, to give her every second she could possibly get. But, soon, he was done and she was forced to let her irrational thought go when he looked into her eyes expectantly. She knew exactly what he was waiting for.  
She leaned down and her lips hit his lightly. She had to hold back a sob and she pulled away quickly. If she kept kissing him, she’d start thinking too much.  
Levi didn’t question why she’d moved away so quickly. In fact, there was a look of understanding in his eyes as he glanced at her while reaching for his own boots.  
Aubrey ran her fingers through his hair again as he worked on his own shoes but he had them done even faster than he’d finished with hers and pretty soon he’d taken her hand and pulled her out of her chair.  
Levi didn’t hesitate and they went to the corner and picked up the couple of bags that Aubrey would be taking with her today. There was more but she hadn’t wanted to take a wagon to carry it all so the rest would be going along with the recruits that were sent to her in the next couple of weeks. For now, she would only take the necessities so that she could travel quickly.  
Once they had the bags in their hands, they headed for the door but neither of them reached for the knob. It was too horrifying, too real.  
They turned back to each other when they realized that neither of them was quite ready. They just needed a couple more minutes.  
Aubrey was instantly in his arms and her lips found his collarbone as he rubbed his palm up and down her back. When Aubrey reached his shoulder, she tucked her chin into the curve of his neck and allowed her eyes to wander. Her mind flashed back to the night they’d first seen this room, to the night they’d found a moment of giddy peace in a world of pain. Everything had been so new. A new room, a new name, a new life. They’d started over in this room… and it had been the best choice she’d ever made. Every moment they’d spent here had been meaningful. From the day they’d moved in, to the nights they’d spent together, to the several failed attempts at making a certain soup, and even to the quiet times they’d spent just lying in each other's arms. All of it had been everything she could ever want and more. And now she had to leave it all behind.  
She forced her eyes to close as agony rippled through her. She knew that Levi could sense it because his arms tightened around her and he hummed into her ear.  
Aubrey turned into him and pressed her lips to his skin again, transmitting a silent “I love you”. Levi squeezed her harder as he tried to tell her the same.  
And then she let go.  
Aubrey moved away from him and took his hand. All he could do was watch as her eyes scanned the room one last time… and then she reached for the knob.  
In an instant they were out in the hall and the door clicked shut behind them. Levi heard Aubrey’s breathing becoming completely erratic and he quickly grabbed at her, pulling her close again even though she’d only left his arms a few seconds ago.  
It didn’t take long for her to calm herself and then she nodded against his chest, letting him know that she was ready to go. She pulled away slowly and then Levi took her hand and, with a last glance at each other, they started their final walk through the castle.  
The hallways were so familiar and yet so… surreal. Aubrey felt like she was walking through a dream. There was a haze over the world and the sound of their heels clicking on the stone floor seemed to echo ten times louder than it ever had before.  
Somehow, Aubrey got so lost in her daze that she didn’t even realize that they’d reached the back door of the castle until Levi pushed it open and they walked outside.  
Aubrey sucked in a breath when the cold air hit her lungs and she felt Levi halt beside her.  
She turned to look at him, only to see that his eyes were set forward. She followed his gaze and finally saw what had made him freeze.  
There, in the distance, she could just barely make out Erwin. He had Lex next to him, her reins in his hands and Hange stood close by his side. They wouldn’t be getting Lex from the stables themselves, which meant they had even less time than they’d thought.  
Aubrey took in another harsh breath and it broke Levi from his reverie. He turned to her instantly and his hand found her chin as he twisted her to face him. He could see the panic in her eyes; it was so strong that he knew she was screaming on the inside. He moved closer until she was pressing against him and his hands found her cheeks. She stared up at him, the horror still obvious on her features and Levi touched his forehead to hers as he spoke for the first time since they’d left the room.  
“Remember… you can do this. I know you can do this. We can do this.”  
Levi watched as she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head hopelessly. For a moment, he thought she was going to break down, but then her eyes opened again and he saw the panic had turned to an aching pain… and resolve. She was hurting, she was hurting so much, but Levi knew that she was going to get through this. When she had that determined look in her eyes, she could do anything.  
Aubrey let out a shaky breath and took Levi’s hand again, locking their fingers tightly. After a few more seconds, she stepped back and, with one last look at Levi’s face, she moved forward.  
The walk over lasted for an eternity and Aubrey was aware of every motion of her body. Everything seemed heavy and lethargic, like the world was moving in slow motion and every second equalled a minute. But, even in slow motion, their walk came to an eventual end.  
They halted a few steps from Erwin but nobody spoke. This was Aubrey’s ordeal and it would be done at her pace.  
Aubrey set her bag down and turned to Levi and kissed his cheek as she let go of his hand. She didn’t want to leave him even for a second but her next conversations had to be done alone. When she pulled away from his cheek, she could see the pain in his eyes and she reached up to run her thumb over his cheekbone before she finally turned away.  
Aubrey met Erwin’s eyes but she wasn’t going to him quite yet. Her goodbye with Hange would probably be the most light-hearted of them all. So… she’d start there.  
Hange met her eyes and already Aubrey could tell that this was going to be hard. Really hard. And after Hange… things would only get more difficult.  
But Aubrey didn’t allow her resolve to crack for even a second. She couldn’t afford to lose it now.  
Finally, after a few more seconds, Aubrey came to a stop and she stared at the frown on her friend’s lips. It was hard to look at. It was so rare that Hange really, truly, frowned. Aubrey hated it.  
She stepped forward again and wrapped Hange in a hug, squeezing tight enough that it might have hurt. But, Hange didn’t say anything and Aubrey soon felt her friend’s own arms sliding around her back to return the embrace.  
Aubrey held on for a while but then the silence grew too great and she spoke softly.  
“I’ll miss you, Hange. So much.”  
Hange squeezed her even tighter.  
“I’ll miss you, too, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey nodded and then took a deep breath. She was already feeling her heart break. But she’d wanted to keep this goodbye more upbeat than the other two would be. She needed at least one conversation to not feel like the end of the world.  
Aubrey shook her head to clear her mind and then pulled away, leaving her hands on Hange’s shoulders. She did her best to give her friend a small smile, though she wasn’t sure how genuine it looked.  
“Don’t get yourself killed in an experiment, kay?”  
Hange gave her a sad smile and there was a slight pause before she answered.  
“Sure. I’ll do my best. No promises, though.”  
Aubrey nodded and forced her lips to stay upturned.  
“Well, as long as you promise to not do anything too dangerous, you can use Levi in my place while I’m gone. Just threaten to get dirt on his boots and he’ll do whatever you want.”  
Hange huffed, well aware of the fact that Aubrey was trying to make their goodbye as painless as possible. That was fine. It would make things easier for both of them.  
“That works?”  
Aubrey winked.  
“Like a charm.”  
Hange’s eyes fell to the ground as she nodded, the sad smile still on her lips.  
“Alright. I’ll give it a shot.”  
Aubrey stared at her, and then slapped her shoulder lightly.  
“Well, on the bright side, I guess I won’t have to drink that horrid tea for a while, huh?”  
Hange’s eyes widened and her gaze shot back up to meet Aubrey’s eyes.  
Aubrey just laughed at her reaction. Hange knew all about the tea and why she drank it. And it had been Aubrey’s own fault that she’d found out. On her first trip into town with Levi, she’d bought her friend a book. Little had she known that it contained a section on herbal remedies that contained a whole page about the fact that anemone flowers had been used as a way to prevent children in some communities for centuries. When Aubrey had casually asked if she’d found anything particularly interesting, Hange had shyly shown her the page. Aubrey had quite literally dragged her friend into a storage room and told her that if she ever uttered a word about it to Erwin she would be dead in a second. Apparently, Hange had taken her seriously because she’d never brought up the topic again and she hadn’t met Aubrey’s eyes for a few days afterwards.  
Aubrey patted her friend’s shoulder again, satisfied that she’d at least managed to shift the mood from somber to shocked. It might not have been the most appropriate thing to say in a goodbye, but at least it had done the trick.  
Aubrey decided to spare Hange the horror of answering and spoke again.  
“My earlier threat still stands, though. If you so much as mention that flower in Erwin’s presence I will come back here and kick you out of the walls.”  
Finally, Hange’s shock softened a bit and she relaxed enough to let out a small laugh.  
“Right. Got it.”  
Aubrey nodded, but she could already feel the atmosphere getting heavy again. Her joke had only lightened the mood for a few seconds. But what had she expected? No joke would make the horror of a goodbye disappear.  
But, just as Aubrey was about to move on to their final goodbye, she saw Hange’s eyes widen and suddenly she grabbed her hand and brought it to her face.  
“Oh my god, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey laughed when she saw that Hange was gaping at her ring. She’d almost forgotten that she hadn’t told anyone about her engagement. It almost seemed like a lesser though compared to everything else going on. But that obviously wasn’t the case for Hange.  
“Is this what I think it is?”  
Aubrey laughed lightly again and nodded.  
“Yes. And you’re invited to the wedding, so prepare yourself.”  
Hange met her gaze and Aubrey put on another small smile.  
Before she knew it, Hange had her wrapped in another hug and Aubrey that this time it was a hug of excitement, not sorrow.  
Aubrey’s smile grew larger as she realized that she’d managed to give her friend at least a single moment of something besides sadness during their goodbye.  
“Congratulations, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey nodded and held her friend tighter.  
“Thank you, Hange.”  
They stayed there for a moment and then Aubrey took another deep breath, realizing that it was finally time to be serious. It was time to go.  
Aubrey pulled out of their hug just enough to look Hange in the eyes.  
“Watch out for them, Hange. Both of them. We all need each other.”  
Hange’s smile completely disappeared and her frown returned. Aubrey hated to see it again but… she was sure she looked the same way.  
“I’ll do my best.”  
Aubrey sighed and pulled her friend back into a hug for one last line.  
“Thank you, Hange. For being my friend, for caring about me, for caring about them. It means everything to me. So… thank you.”  
Hange nodded and answered in a voice barely above a whisper.  
“Thank you, Aubrey, for caring about me. I really will miss you. A lot.”  
Aubrey smiled sadly again and pulled away for the last time to look her friend in the eyes.  
“I’ll see you soon, Hange.”  
There was a slight silence… and then Hange gave the final words.  
“Goodbye, Aubrey.”  
Aubrey gave her friend one last glance, trying to put as much love and concern as she could into the look and then… she turned away.  
Her fingernails dug into her palms as she walked away and Aubrey closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She tried to focus only on what was coming and not what she’d just done but that didn’t help one bit. She had to talk to Erwin next. And this time… well, there would be no light-heartedness. She was going to cry and she knew it.  
Aubrey opened her eyes to see that Erwin was now only a few steps away and she came to a sudden halt. The second she met his gaze all she could see was torment. He looked horrible. The bags under his eyes were almost darker than she’d ever seen them, his skin was pale, and the permanent frown on his lips didn’t do anything to help.  
Aubrey felt tears in her eyes after just a few seconds of looking at him and she knew she had to act fast before she started bawling so hard she wouldn’t be able to speak.  
She moved forward, closing the small gap between them, and flung herself at him. Erwin caught her easily and then felt her hand on his collar as she pulled him down to speak with him. He did as she asked.  
Aubrey put a hand on his cheek, staring at him for a moment longer, and then… the tears started to fall. She couldn’t hold them back anymore. It was all she could do to keep them silent. But they would stay that way. She would cry, but she wouldn’t sob until she was out of sight.  
Erwin stared back at her and his eyes went straight through her, just as they always did. It sent a shiver down her spine that was strong enough to shake her into speaking. And she already knew what she wanted to say.  
“Erwin… I need to thank you.”  
Her voice was already trembling but she couldn’t bring herself to care. As long as Erwin heard what she was saying, it didn’t really matter.  
“For what?”  
Aubrey huffed at his tone. He sounded genuinely confused, like he couldn’t think of a single thing she’d have to thank him for. She could understand how he would feel that way right now. Erwin may have been the one sending her away but he still cared about her… and he knew exactly what he was doing by separating her from Levi. He was breaking her.  
But Aubrey had given up trying to be angry at him long ago. It wouldn’t help. She was going for him but she was going for herself, and for Levi, too. And maybe even for all of the Scouts and every other person within the walls. She couldn’t ignore the tiny piece of hope it gave her and she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t chase it. So, she wasn’t angry with him, she would just… miss him.  
Aubrey felt a pang of pure agony and more tears spilled from her eyes as she answered him.  
“For something I should have thanked you for a long time ago. You were… there for me, Erwin, when nobody else was, when I’d lost everything and I’d thought I would just wither away and die. You saved my life in so many ways that I can’t even begin to name them. You… you’ve filled a hole in my life, Erwin. I… I love you… so much… and I always will. No matter what.”  
Aubrey stared at him, seeing his eyes flash through so many emotions so quickly that she couldn’t tell what he was actually feeling. But then she felt his hand on her cheek and Aubrey had to look away for a moment as she composed herself. She couldn’t believe this was happening, couldn’t believe she was really saying goodbye.  
“You never have to thank me for that, Aubrey. You have helped me more than you could ever know. And… I love you, too. No matter what.”  
Aubrey nodded and leaned into his hand as more pain overtook her. But she couldn’t give in. There was still more to say.  
She raised her eyes to his again and started.  
“And, Erwin… I never want you to blame yourself. I know… I know you don’t want to send me away. But… I know that you have to. I understand. And, if I didn’t feel the same way, if I didn’t feel like I had to… I wouldn’t have agreed. So… please, don’t blame yourself, Erwin. I don’t blame you and… even though he might be angry for a while… I don’t think Levi does, either. He knows that this is my decision.” Aubrey paused for a second as she remembered Erwin’s promise to her. She knew he would stay true to his word, but… she needed to hear it again. “So, even if he’s resentful, even if he's bitter… please… love him like you said you would. Don’t let him be alone, Erwin.” Aubrey shook her head in horror as the tiniest cry escaped her lips. “Please, don’t let him be alone.”  
Erwin couldn’t stand to see the look of anguish on her face any longer, so he gathered her into a hug. Aubrey’s arms flew around his neck immediately and she pressed her face into his shoulder, trying to muffle her small cries. Erwin just held her tightly as he answered.  
“I promise, Aubrey, I won’t let him be alone. He’ll be alright. Hange and I will take care of him. He won’t be alone.”  
Aubrey nodded into his chest and squeezed him tighter, trying to hold back her sobs. But Erwin went on.  
“And… thank you, Aubrey, for forgiving me. Thank you.”  
Aubrey let out another small cry, finding herself unable to contain it. She clutched at Erwin’s shirt desperately. She didn’t know how she was supposed to let go. He was so important, so essential to her survival. For so long, he’d been the one to support her through anything. But now, at the time when she needed the most support, she was being torn away from him.  
Aubrey could feel a sob forming and she felt like she was going to break but, just as she knew she couldn’t hold it in anymore, she felt Erwin move away from her. And then he grabbed her hand.  
His eyes landed on the ring and she realized that she was going to have to explain her situation all over again. To Erwin. The thought was almost enough to make her blush, even at a time like this.  
He stared at the ring for a moment longer and then his eyes raised to meet hers. Aubrey felt a shiver go down her spine as he looked into her soul.  
“Levi...?” Erwin trailed off after just saying his name but Aubrey knew what he was asking.  
She nodded.  
“Yes. Last night.”  
There was a beat of silence as Aubrey worked up the courage to ask a question she hoped he would understand the meaning of. If he did, maybe he would finally know just how much he meant to her.  
Aubrey took a deep breath and then raised her hand to his cheek again as she spoke.  
“Will you walk me down the aisle?”  
Erwin’s eyes widened and Aubrey knew that she’d caught him off guard. He hadn’t been prepared for a question like that.  
Aubrey gave him a soft smile, trying to reassure him.  
“Don’t worry, we’re going to wait a while. But… please, Erwin. You’re the only person I’d want to do it.”  
Erwin stared at her for a moment longer and for a second Aubrey thought he might fight her on it, ask her why or maybe even say no. But then his features softened and a small smile came to his lips.  
“Of course, Aubrey. I’d be honored.”  
Aubrey closed her eyes as more tears rolled down her cheeks and she pulled Erwin into another embrace. She held him close for a long time, silently crying into his shirt as wave after wave of pain ran through her. She never wanted to leave, never wanted to let go.  
But there was nothing she could do. She had to let go… no matter how badly she wished she could hold on forever. And there was only one last thing to say.  
“I love you, Erwin.”  
Aubrey felt him squeeze her a bit tighter and then he answered her.  
“I love you, too, Aubrey.”  
With that, Aubrey knew it was time. Ever so slowly, she moved back until she could see his eyes. She let them look into her soul one last time and then, after a few moments, she leaned forward, kissed his cheek, and turned away.  
Aubrey didn’t dare to give him a last glance. She would break down. And she still had to get through the hardest goodbye of all.  
When her eyes landed on Levi she almost screamed. He was already looking at her and he already looked… broken. They both knew that this was it, that they would have to say their strange version of a goodbye and then part.  
Aubrey felt like her body was crumbling as she took slow steps toward him. She almost wanted to stop dead in her tracks. Maybe if she never reached him she’d never have to say goodbye, never have to leave. Maybe time would just stop along with her.  
But it wouldn’t. And she knew that.  
So, she kept going, having to remind herself how to walk with every step. It took all of her focus, all of attention, just to stay upright.  
Her feet squished into the dead grass one last time and then she looked up. He was right there. Just a foot away. So close, yet so far.  
Aubrey wanted to run away and grab at him at the same time. She didn’t know what to do. But, luckily, Levi did something for her.  
She felt his hand in hers as he locked their fingers. Just an instant later his arm wrapped around her waist and Levi had her pressed against him with her head buried in his chest.  
For a second, Aubrey couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. Everything was so entirely overwhelming. The pain was too great to do anything but feel it.  
“Aubrey...”  
Levi’s voice was just barely above a whisper but Aubrey could still hear the absolute torture in his tone. It pushed her to the edge and another cry escaped her. She knew that her tears were already soaking Levi’s shirt as she grabbed at him. But she knew she needed to answer him. This was the moment that they’d been dreading, fearing, and now they needed each other. They needed to be strong for each other.  
“Levi…”  
Aubrey raised her head to look at him and when she saw that he was crying tears of his own she let out her first sob. Her hand raised to his face and she wiped away the tears hastily.  
“We can do this. We can do this. You told me we can do this, right? We can do this.”  
Aubrey’s voice was hushed but frantic and it shook tremendously. Levi knew that if he didn’t have his arm around her waist, she would have fallen over by now. The muscles in his jaw clenched as he tried to respond to her. She was comforting him but she was waiting for his reassurance in return.  
Levi nodded at her even through his tears and he raised a hand to her cheek.  
“Yes, we can do this.”  
Aubrey shook in his arms and Levi pressed his forehead to hers.  
His fingers found the star-shaped pendant around her neck and he gazed at it as he held it. She’d never gone a day without wearing it. He hoped she’d keep that habit while she was away. It would make him feel like at least she had the tiniest piece of him with her. But that star, it wasn’t just a piece of him… it was a piece of them. And he wanted that piece to stay with her for every second of every day. Forever.  
Finally, Levi let his hand drop away and then they were silent for a few seconds before Aubrey found the strength to speak again.  
“We’re going to get it, Levi.”  
Levi’s brows furrowed at her words. Maybe it was his dazed state or the intensity of the moment, but he didn’t understand. But Aubrey continued.  
“I’m going to do this and we’re going to get it. I don’t care how impossible it is. I’m going to come back to you, we’re going to get married, the titans are going to disappear, we’re going to open that shop in town, and I’m going to convince you to have three kids instead of two. We’re going to get it, Levi. I know we are. We have to.”  
Levi released a shuddering breath as he realized she was talking about their future. The future they both wanted so badly but both knew they’d never get. But even through her shaking, Aubrey sounded so sure, so positive that they’d get what they wanted. So, Levi would go along with her. They’d do exactly as they’d done that night at the pond when they’d first discussed what they would do if they were free. He would let himself escape, just for a moment, to the place he desperately wanted to be. He would forget about reality and live in their own world of peace. He would believe, really truly believe, that their future wouldn’t be just a dream. It would be real.  
He nodded and held her even tighter.  
“You’re going to have to do a lot of convincing for three kids instead of two. More than two and we’re outnumbered.”  
Aubrey huffed and she saw her tears fall to the ground.  
“I still think we could do it.”  
Levi recognized her words as almost the exact same phrase she’d told him that night at the pond. He exhaled harshly as the pain overtook him and a wave of tears rolled down his face. But he kept up with her and told her the same answer he’d given her that night.  
“We’ll see.”  
Both of them fell silent for a few moments as their minds wandered around in the perfect world they’d created together. But thoughts of their time together in the future turned to thoughts of their time together in the past and soon Aubrey found herself remembering all they’d been through, all they’d survived. The pain, the torment, the horror, the grief. But also the bliss, the peace, the smiles, the love. They’d lost so much… but they’d gained each other. And, as long as they had each other… they could withstand anything, no matter how much it hurt.  
And this… this hurt more than anything.  
But she would come back, just like she’d said she would. She would always have him and he would always have her. There wasn’t anything that could stop that. Not even this.  
Aubrey pulled Levi even closer until their lips were practically brushing as she spoke.  
“Please be okay. Please be okay when I’m gone. I need you to be okay. I need you to be happy, to find new family, to smile. Please smile. I love when you smile, so please don’t stop.” Aubrey had to pause to take a breath but she wasn’t done yet. “I know this will be hard… but we can do it. We have to. So… until I can come back to you… I need you to live, Levi. Please. Don’t just exist, I need you to live. Knowing that you’re living, that you’re caring, it’s the only way I’ll be able to do this. So, please, Levi, live for me.”  
Levi was shaking, his tears flowing even faster than before. He almost didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how he was supposed to live without her. But, if that was what she wanted, if that was what she needed… then he would find a way.  
He clenched his jaw and he slowly nodded as he whispered to her.  
“Promise me you’ll do the same.”  
Aubrey let out a shaky sigh. It was a relief to know that Levi would at least try. She just couldn't bear the thought of him suffering or closing himself off while she was gone. And she knew she would have to fight hard not to shut down herself, but… she would try. Just like he would.  
“I promise.”  
Silence washed over them again and both of them recognized that their time was coming to an end. There wasn’t much left to say. But there was one last thing to do.  
Levi moved his hand from Aubrey’s cheek to her chin and he tilted her head up. He gazed into her eyes, seeing the pain again but knowing that he looked the exact same.  
But Aubrey had done the talking. Now it was time for him to do the showing.  
He leaned down slowly, their lips hitting lightly. At first, every touch was gentle, delicate, soft. But that didn’t last long. Both of them gripped each other, their kisses deepening with every second. They were still gentle, loving, but they were intense. They were a final attempt to convey their feelings. Their sadness, their pain, their heartache. All of it went into the way they held each other. And all of it was felt in full.  
Aubrey didn’t know how long they stayed there, neither of them caring that Erwin and Hange were still behind them. It didn’t matter, they were going to take every second they could get.  
But, eventually, those seconds ticked away and Aubrey reluctantly realized her need for air. It took every ounce of her strength to break away.  
For a moment, she kept her eyes closed, trying to process what was coming next. But she couldn’t. There was no way she would ever be ready to do this, to walk away, to leave. But she had to do it anyway. There was no other choice. This was it.  
Aubrey slid her arms around Levi’s shoulders and she tucked her chin into the curve of his neck. Levi did the same, burying his face in her shoulder and pressing her against him as they caught their breath.  
They continued to stand there, holding each other until it hurt and even then not letting go. But when their breaths finally evened out, Aubrey knew she had to speak.  
She turned her head so that her mouth was by Levi’s ear and then whispered the words that only he would understand the true meaning of.  
“Remember… I will always come back, Levi.” She had to pause as and a small sob escaped when she whispered her last piece. “I love you.”  
Levi trembled in her arms as he answered her and his voice was so low she could barely hear him.  
“I love you, too. Always.”  
Aubrey squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her lips to his neck. And then, even though it felt like every part of her was dying, she pulled away. She had to force her arms to slide away from Levi’s neck, had to force her legs to take a step back, had to force herself to stay put once she was finally away. It took everything she had.  
The only part of them that remained touching was their hands. They would be locked together until the second she got on her horse.  
Which wouldn’t be much longer.  
With a last surge of willpower, Aubrey tore her eyes from Levi’s face and turned to Lex.  
Erwin had her reins in his hand and Hange had since moved to stand next to him. Both of them had somber expressions as they stared back at her. Aubrey wasn’t surprised. This wasn’t easy for any of them.  
After just one more moment, Aubrey took a deep breath… and walked forward.  
She had to tug a little on Levi’s hand to get him to move but she knew it wasn’t because he didn’t want to go, only because he was just as horrified as she was by what they were about to do.  
Aubrey halted when they arrived and realized that Erwin had already loaded her things into Lex’s saddlebags. She looked at him but there was nothing left to say. But, even though they didn’t speak, Aubrey felt his eyes go through her one last time and she knew… he was saying goodbye.  
Aubrey felt another tear drop from her chin but she didn’t even bother to wipe her cheeks. Her tears wouldn’t be stopping any time soon, not even when she was long gone.  
Finally, Erwin let his gaze drop and Hange gave her a small smile before Aubrey turned back to Levi for one last touch.  
She reached up and brushed the hair from his eyes, knowing it would be the last time she would be able to for a long time.  
But then a last thought popped into her mind. She nearly laughed when she thought of it. It was a situation that seemed so impossible after all they’d been through, all they’d survived. But, considering how skilled he was, she had a feeling that Levi would have no trouble following through with her last request. After all, he’d once told her he’d “gone through too much shit just to get eaten”. She figured that was even more true now than when he’d first said it.  
Her hand fell to his cheek and she pressed their foreheads together as she took one last, long, deep breath. The cold air filled her lungs and it gave her the final push she needed in order to… leave.  
Aubrey’s brows furrowed and she choked back a sob as she forced her mouth to form the words she’d once said to him so long ago.  
“Levi?”  
Her voice was so quiet that he was sure only he could hear.  
“Hm?”  
Aubrey paused. As soon as she’d finished speaking, she would turn away from him and take the reins from Erwin’s hands. She would swing up onto Lex’s back and give them all a last glance. She would linger on Levi’s face for just a moment and see the burning in his eyes that she was sure was already there. And then she would ride away and leave behind the only family and home she’d ever know. But, above all, she would leave behind Levi, with only the promise that she would return. Which, she would. Always.  
Aubrey took just one more moment. And then said her parting words.  
“Don’t die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all… it’s OVER. This book is DONE. That was the LAST chapter. I seriously CANNOT believe it. It’s crazy.  
> I think that this chapter might have made you cry, but maybe not as hard as other chapters??? Idk, I tried to make them be a little stronger for each other. I couldn’t have Aubrey go through a full-on breakdown on the field. She’d never get on the horse lol.  
> Anyway, thank you again to every single one of you. I can’t believe y’all have stuck with this story through so much :))) It means the world to me.  
> On that note, I COMMAND all of you (ALL OF YOU) to leave a comment. I don’t care if this chapter was posting a decade ago at the time that you’re reading it, you’re still REQUIRED to leave a comment. It’s the LAST chapter, y’all. Just do it for me, please. Let me know what you thought of the chapter, the story as a whole, what you hope happens in Book 2 (I might take your suggestionssssss), and if you really can’t think of anything just leave a comment saying hello and I’ll say hello back <3  
> I’m going to miss this story so much :’ ) In the next book, baby (Y/N) and Levi will be all grown up. They’re gonna be close to thirty, y’all. Wild.  
> Okay, the first chapter of Book 2 should be up right now, so y’all don’t even have to wait. You can find Book 2 on my profile, it’s titled Stay Alive, or I’ll put the link here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29703282/chapters/73045047  
> Again, THANK YOU for reading this story, for leaving such amazing comments, having such awesome conversations with me, and for becoming my own little online community of friends/readers. I love every single one of you. See you in the next book – Docoo <333


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